Issuu

Ever Too Early? MAY 2023 // IYAR 5783 // ISSUE 88

Passing On the Gift

Saw a Need and Filled It

How critical is the traditional crawling position?

Ascending to Greatness

Flustered in the Lab

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COPY & RESEARCH

Editor In Chief Shiffy Friedman Deputy Editor Libby Silberman Nutritional Advisory Board Dr. Rachael Schindler Laura Shammah, MS, RDN Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE Bashy Halberstam, INHC Shaindy Oberlander, INHC Shira Savit, MA, MHC, CHC Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD Nutrition Contributors Tanya Rosen, MS CAI CPT Shani Taub, CDC

Health Advisory Board Dr. Chayala Englard Chaya Tilla Brachfeld, RN Fitness Advisory Board Syma Kranz, PFC Esther Fried, PFC Child Development Advisory Board Friedy Singer, OTR/L Roizy Guttmann, OTR/L Coordinating Editor Liba Solomon, CNWC Feature Editors Rochel Gordon • Rikki Samson

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The Wellspring Magazine is published monthly by Wellspring Magazine Inc. All rights are reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part or in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. The Wellspring Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content or kashrus of advertisements in the publication, nor for the content of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. The contents of The Wellspring Magazine, such as text, graphics and other material (content) are intended for educational purposes only. The content is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your health care provider with any questions you have regarding your medical condition.

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EDITOR'S NOTE

How Much Do You Weigh?

f you recoiled at the title of this piece, I get you. A person’s weight, for the most part, is considered a private topic. What grown women wouldn’t do to keep this fateful number under wraps. For some, it’s a subject of shame. But, for the majority of at least one segment of our population, it’s irrelevant. It’s the kids—and we have so much to learn from them. This issue’s topic in Gila Glassberg’s enlightening column Tap In brought to mind a conversation I overheard several months ago, when my nine-year-old daughter had a few friends over one Sunday afternoon. They wanted to take turns in a small car the little ones enjoy riding, but one of them noticed a label sporting the vehicle’s weight limit. “Let’s get the scale,” my daughter remarked with what was only nonchalance. She came into the kitchen to find out where it was, and I directed her to its location. Before long, the four of them were standing in a line, each awaiting their turn to step on the device that is wrought with so many deep-seated associations for too many of us—so inextricably bound to our self-worth—to get a glimpse of their status: Am I allowed to sit in this car or not? My ears sharpened, I listened as one by one, they announced their number aloud. Then, giggles. “So cute, you’re one pound more than me!” “Isn’t it funny that she’s ten pounds less and we’re all the same height?” And then, just like that, next conversation. How refreshing!

spent some time thinking about this episode, mulling over what I found so endearing about it. Various answers came to mind, but one was the absolute non-issue a significantly emotion-laden topic among adults is for these blessed kids. It is my hope and prayer that this blissful ignorance—a sign of how inconsequential the matter is in their eyes—accompanies them for a long time. So she weighs more, so what? Imagine how much more wholesome our world would be if external variables mattered so little. Often, readers write in to say how impacted they are by the significance weight—and appearance—takes up in their community,

even among those who place an emphasis on higher values. To change the deep-seated reality for ourselves may feel too challenging, but there are measures we can take to at least help our children lead lives that are less consumed by these matters. For one, the more we convey externals as a non-issue, the better. Instead of lecturing about their insignificance and drawing the topic to our children’s attention, simply not making a big deal about it speaks volumes. One of my young daughters has a broader build, especially relative to her sister immediately under her whose build is particularly slender, and she’ll sometimes say to me, especially when she’s wearing something new and noticing how the outfit fits, “Right I’m fat?” What I usually tell her is that I don’t think she’s fat (I really don’t), but it never ends there. I always ask her, “And if you are fat? And so?” Seriously, and so? Unless a child is so overweight that her health or social standing is impacted, why does this even have to be a topic? It’s during these formative years that our daughters create the associations they will have with food for the rest of their lives. Do we want them to feel guilty every time they’re eating “too much?” To feel fear that one more slice of cake or even plate of salad will “make me fat?” We want them to value themselves for their true essence, for being prized daughters of the King, created in the image of Hashem. Of course, anything in the extreme isn’t wholesome, and teaching our kids to pay attention to their overall appearance as refined, put-together individuals has importance, but conveying an emphasis on the subject can be severely detrimental to our children’s self-image and contentment. We want them to eat nourishing meals because it’s good for them and their body, not because we’re afraid of weight gain. We want them to look at themselves in the mirror and feel good about what they see, regardless of the inconsequential number on the scale. And the more of a non-issue these things are in their life, the more focused they can be be’ezras Hashem on what really matters.

n a m d e i r F Shiffy

Enjoy the rest of this glorious season,

WELL- PUT “A wandering mind is a universal experience that is not exclusive to individuals with ADHD.”

Dr. Lidia Zylowska, Sample WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

CONTENTS

MAY 2023 IYAR 5783 ISSUE 88

WELL INFORMED

Our next issue will appear on Wednesday, May 31rd iy"H.

18 49

Springboard

Spiritual Eating

Torah Wellspring

Health Updates

LIVING WELL 28

Fitness

Ask the Nutritionist

FYI

Community

Cover Feature

Sample

Medical Saga

60 Serial Diary 62

90 73

SEASONED 8

WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

DIY

WELLBEING 64

OT@Home

Tap In

Parenting

FAREWELL 98

Holistic

Cup of Tea will return next month iy"H.

Small

Details. WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

SPRINGBOARD

On Movement at Home, Raising a SpecialNeeds Child, Mindbody Connection, and More

Marked Difference Issue #87: Seasoned, OT@ Home

I wanted to bring to your attention a possible error in the Pesach issue’s Swap column. I tried the zucchini potato kugel eagerly, excited to bring some nutrition into a family favorite, but was very disappointed when my offerings were refused by my family. The final result was way too salty. The recipe called for a quarter cup of salt, which seemed way off. I’d added a few tablespoons instead, but it was too salty anyway. It was also too watery thanks to the zucchini’s natural water, and it required an extra half hour or more of baking time. 10

WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

The recipe also failed to mention how much oil was needed. I’d love the corrected version of the recipe if possible. On another note, I thoroughly enjoyed Miriam Frankel’s OT@ Home article on deep touch and movement at home, which was fabulous. I tried most of her ideas and saw a marked difference in my children later. A day before Pesach, when all the kids were home and feeling bored and unsettled, I took out the oldest mattresses in the house, gave them blankets and pillows, and instructed them to build a fort with these items. They had a total blast, jumping, rolling, and tumble-saucing all the way through. I joined them myself for a few minutes and they got a

total kick out of seeing their mommy rolling on the mattresses as well. They were so settled for the rest of the day—it was incredible to observe. I’ll be doing this again. Thank you! Chanala M. Lakewood, New Jersey

Wow Issue #87

Having just finished reading my very first issue of Wellspring (found it at my in-laws’ home on Pesach),

Huge

At Hamaspik, the heart is in the details

WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

Quick Question

SPRINGBOARD

Question: Several of my children, ranging in age from 8 to 13, are suffering seriously from spring allergies. Which supplements would you recommend? And what else can I do for them to obtain relief?

Answer: The trees are in full bloom, partly due to the relatively warm weather in New York. Here in Brooklyn, the pollen count is above normal, and people of all ages are suffering. It’s a particularly intense season for children like yours, and adults who suffer from spring fever too. Whenever possible, keep windows shut, and use air conditioning instead when needed. Several reputable companies offer natural allergy supplements. Look out for quercetin in the ingredient list, as research has shown it to be very beneficial. Raw natural honey is also very helpful. In terms of homeopathic remedies, Alledryl, Allium cepa, and Histaminum have shown good results, and the sinus oil featured in this issue’s DIY column can significantly help with decongestion. Make sure your kids remain hydrated to make up for the loss of fluid in sneezing and runny nose. Wishing you and yours a pleasant springtime! Take care, Miriam Schweid, kinesiologist and health consultant

I’m simply writing to say “wow.” How wholesome! There was so much content that was relevant to me, as a young mother who isn’t particularly into health but appreciates clean, wholesome living. I’m so looking forward to reading your next issue and continuing to learn more about health, wellness, and all the good stuff you bring to your readers’ attention. A New Fan, Y.M. Howell, New Jersey

The Mindbody Connection Issue #87: Community

Thank you for a comprehensive and 12

WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

beautifully done Pesach magazine. I wanted to particularly thank you for the Medical Saga on postpartum vertigo. I was fascinated by how the protagonist was able to cure herself via the Sarno method. I went ahead and ordered The Mindbody Prescription by Dr. John Sarno from Amazon and got it Erev Pesach. (The article mentioned The Divided Mind from the same author, but I hear they’re all very similar.) I started reading it over Pesach and found it extremely enlightening. I’m looking forward to seeing how this method can help me with certain issues I’ve been struggling with for a long while. Esty F. Monroe, New York

Perfectly Imperfect Issue #87: Are We There Yet?

I really have been enjoying the serial diary of Malky Sapir (written by Libby Silberman). I have a specialneeds child myself and while I would love to say that I have come to a place of acceptance, the sad truth is that I’m still so angry. It was kind of healing to read that a “special main character” is also not in a perfect place of acceptance of her special child. It meant a lot to me. We can all be imperfect and special at the same time. Please convey my thanks to her. Lots of hatzlachah, T.T. Queens

. s t r a e H e g u H Small Details.

For the individuals living there, the group home is home. So each Shabbos, a Shabbos couple, the “Totty and Mommy,” move into each Hamaspik group home, creating a warm, family-like atmosphere replete with singing, delicious food, and much joy. But it doesn’t stop there. Because at Hamaspik, small details reflect huge hearts.

Shabbos To Do

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d of table Seat Leiby* at en s sings parshah song Make sure my Sruli make kiddush Remind Volvi* to sugar-free fish Give Shloimy* his eat dvar Torah Ask Moshe* to rep

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WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

The Doctor Is In

SPRINGBOARD

Question: I’ve been having trouble falling asleep recently and a friend suggested I try melatonin as a sleep aid. She says she uses it for herself and her kids and claims it works wonders. Is it okay to try it and see if it helps me sleep?

Answer: Melatonin is generally considered safe to take for sleep when used appropriately and at the recommended doses. Melatonin is a hormone produced by the pineal gland in the brain that helps regulate the sleep-wake cycle. It is commonly used as a sleep aid to help people fall asleep and stay asleep.

has no effect. There is also concern that long-term use of melatonin in children may affect the natural production of the hormone, which could lead to dependence or withdrawal symptoms.

The recommended dose of melatonin varies depending on the individual’s age, health status, and sleep needs. For most adults, a dose of 0.5 to 5 mg taken 30 minutes to an hour before bedtime is typically effective. However, it’s important to note that melatonin should not be used as a long-term solution for sleep problems without first consulting with a healthcare provider.

1. Stick to a regular sleep schedule. Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on Shabbos.

Although melatonin is generally safe, some people may experience side effects such as headache, dizziness, nausea, or drowsiness. Additionally, it can interact with certain medications and medical conditions, so it’s important to talk to a healthcare provider before taking melatonin if you have any underlying medical conditions or are taking any medications. In addition, the supplement industry is not regulated, so the dosages in different brands of melatonin may not be consistent. While melatonin is generally considered safe for adults, the use of melatonin in children should be approached with caution and only under the guidance of a healthcare provider. Melatonin is sometimes used in children to treat sleep problems such as insomnia, jet lag, or sleep disorders such as ADHD or autism spectrum disorder. The American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) recommends that parents or caregivers consult with a healthcare provider before giving melatonin to children. Melatonin dosing for children is based on age, weight, and sleep problem being treated. It’s important to note that the long-term effects of melatonin use are not well understood. Some studies suggest that melatonin may interfere with puberty development, while other studies suggest that it

Consider improving sleep hygiene before starting medication:

2. Create a relaxing bedtime routine. This can include activities such as taking a warm bath, reading a book, or listening to calming music. 3. Make your bedroom conducive to sleep. Ensure that your bedroom is quiet, cool, and dark. Consider using blackout curtains, earplugs, or a white noise machine to create a comfortable sleep environment. 4. Avoid stimulating activities before bedtime. This includes using electronic devices or exercising, which can interfere with the ability to fall asleep. 5. Limit caffeine and alcohol consumption. Both caffeine and alcohol can interfere with sleep, so it’s important to avoid them before bedtime. 6. Avoid large meals before bedtime. Eating a heavy meal before bedtime can cause discomfort and interfere with sleep. 7. Exercise regularly. Regular physical activity can help you sleep better, but try to avoid exercising too close to bedtime. 8. Manage stress. Stress and anxiety can interfere with your sleep, so it’s important to practice stressmanagement techniques, such as deep breathing exercises. 9. Avoid napping during the day. If you’re having trouble sleeping at night, it’s best to avoid napping during the day. 10. Create a comfortable sleep environment. This includes a comfortable bed and pillow. Sleep well and be well, Jennie Berkovich, DO, FAAP JOWMA Director of Education

WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

The Self-Worth Connection Issue #87: Wellbeing Panel

I just finished reading the exceptionally thoughtprovoking panel titled “Is My Child Ready for Marriage?” Although my oldest child is still in his early teens, I came away from the article with so much insight regarding the foundations of marriage— starting with my own. Rabbi Ezra Friedman’s explanation on how to raise a child who’s more giving was especially insightful. It turns the whole concept of becoming a giver on its head. It reminded me of something I learned at a parenting class that really resonated with me, and I’m sure many Wellspring readers will appreciate it too. The parenting teacher, who is very ehrlich and focused on instilling good middos in our children, really shocked us when she said that putting pressure on our kids to share not only doesn’t teach them to be more giving, but it can even backfire when a child feels that what he considers “his” is threatened. She went as far as to say that for a child to give up his toy is like for a woman to allow a neighbor to come into her kitchen and use it for the day. Instead, she recommended, we should model giving and speak to our kids about sharing in teachable moments, not when they’re caught in the situation. The concept really made sense to me, but I always wondered how I could then help my kids grow into stronger givers. Rabbi Friedman’s insights on the topic gave me just what I was looking for. Miriam D.

Get in touch!

Wellspring invites readers to submit letters and comments via regular mail or email to info@wellspringmagazine.com. We reserve the right to edit all submissions and will withhold your name upon request. We will honor requests for anonymity, but we cannot consider letters that arrive without contact information.

Any health information, advice, or suggestions published here are the opinion of the letter writer and are not independently investigated, endorsed, or validated by Wellspring. Always seek the advice of a qualified health professional or medical practitioner regarding any medical advice, condition, or treatment.

Far Rockaway

WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

SPIRITUAL EATING By Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS

Recipe for a Blessing— Or the Opposite “If you follow My decrees and observe My commandments and perform them; then I will provide your rains in their time, and the land will give its produce and the tree of the field will give its fruit. Your threshing will last until the vintage, and the vintage will last until the sowing; you will eat to satiety and you will dwell securely in your land” (Vayikra 26:3–5).

“If despite these you will not be chastised toward Me, and you behave casually with Me, then I, too, will behave toward you with casualness; and I will strike you, even I, seven ways for your sins…When I break for you the staff of bread, ten women will bake your bread in one oven, and they will bring back your bread by weight; you will eat and not be sated” (ibid., 26:23–26). Parashas Bechukosai describes in great detail the horrific curses that will befall the Yidden if we abandon Hashem and his Torah, chas veshalom. It’s prefaced, however, with the wonderful blessings the Ribbono Shel Olam will bestow upon us if we adhere to His mitzvos and strive to continually deepen our relationship with Him. So what does eating have to do with it? Isn’t the act of consuming food exclusively for meeting our physical needs for nourishment? Why would our spiritual relationship with Hashem impact our ability to be satisfied from a good meal? Clearly, the Torah is identifying a very strong connection. A healthy relationship with food is inexorably linked to our spiritual wellbeing. Meaning, if we treat food in line with the purpose for which Hashem gave it—to provide energy and vitality to our bodies so they can be in the best condition possible to perform our avodas Hashem—then that itself is a

spiritual pursuit, as the Rambam says in the beginning of the fourth chapter of Hilchos Deios. We are respecting the body Hashem granted us, and acknowledging His beneficence by enjoying the fine food He provides in an appropriate manner that promotes our health. We will be sated—satisfied with the proper amounts, and not stuffing ourselves to feed our indulgences or grasping for unhealthy things just because they give us an immediate hit of a few seconds of palatable pleasure. However, if indulgent behavior is our norm, this is an indication of a breakdown in our spiritual wellbeing and relationship with Hashem. We are focusing on our physical gratifications and ignoring the responsibility we have to care for the body He gave us. We are feeding our yetzer hara and starving our soul, thereby creating distance in our relationship with Hashem and, as the Torah clearly teaches, actually lessening our ability to be satisfied. An individual who misuses and abuses the gift of food will never be sated because he’ll be chasing after a carrot dangling from an endless stick. Let us follow the berachos we say before eating with a behavior that maximizes our healthy relationship with food, and thereby earn the benevolent blessings Hashem yearns to give us. In this way, we will acquire genuine and lasting satisfaction.

Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS, is the founder and director of Soveya and the author of the best-selling book Enough Is Enough—How the Soveya Solution Is Revolutionizing the Diet and Weight-Loss World, available on Amazon and at Barnes & Nobles and Judaica Plaza in Lakewood. He has worked with thousands of clients around the world and has maintained a 130-pound weight loss for the last 19 years. For more information about Soveya’s programs call 732-578-8800, email info@soveya.com, or visit www. soveya.com.

WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

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WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

TORAH WELLSPRING By Rabbi Ezra Friedman

Ascending to Greatness The most important aspect of spiritual health is often the most overlooked

In our preparation for Matan Torah, we’re not only required to count the days of omer, but also to make the days count. As the Nesivos Shalom, among many other sefarim, notes, the period of Sefiras Ha’omer is a time for us to pay attention to and improve our middos as a prerequisite for becoming a viable vessel for absorbing the Torah. 18

WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

We want to arrive at Matan Torah of 5783 having done the work to ready ourselves for receiving this momentous gift. So what is this work that’s required from us? These days are highly opportune for avodas hamiddos. It’s in this time period over three millennia ago that Klal Yisrael experienced the pinnacle of spiritual metamorphosis: they rose from the forty-ninth level of impurity to the peak of kedushah at Matan Torah. What does “forty-ninth level of im-

purity” mean? How can our human minds grasp this concept? Simply put, tumah refers to distance from Hakadosh Baruch Hu. The closer a neshamah is to Hashem, the more kedushah it holds. In Mitzrayim, Klal Yisrael was as far from Hashem as could possibly be. It was through coming closer and closer to Him that they transformed into the holiest of people. The word tamei, the sefarim explain, contains the same letters as the word atum, blocked. Spiritual impurity ensues as a result of a blockage, of an individual’s disconnect from their neshamah, which is essentially a disconnect from Hashem. It’s when a Yid, a composite of guf and neshamah, lives on a very superficial plane, tending only to the needs and wants of his guf. (This explains why a meis, the physical body in which the neshamah is no longer present, is the entity that has the most tumah). In Those Days, in Our Times The more connected we are to the spiritual pursuits in life, the more steps away we are from tumah, and these weeks of Sefiras Ha’omer are an especially auspicious time to invest ourselves in this endeavor. Just as the Yidden in the dor hamidbar experienced their elevation during this period, these days in our time are also infused with that same koach—a koach of enabling us to rise to great heights, of leaving behind every vestige of impurity and moving closer and closer to becoming sanctified vessels of Torah. The path to purifying ourselves, we know, is through avodas hamiddos. Each of the Sefiros correlates to a middah that we have the ability to acquire and refine, traits that negate the wants of the body and embrace the desires of the neshamah. While the body, for example, is self-centered, the neshamah desires to give. At all times, the neshamah desires to emulate the middos of Hakadosh

Baruch Hu, who is the quintessential Giver and the embodiment of forgiveness, among other positive traits. Avodas hamiddos is a lofty ideal. But what does it mean in practical terms for us human beings living in the here and now? What is the path to effecting change from the inside out? Before we delve into what constitutes effective avodas hamiddos, let’s preface it with a disclaimer of what avodas hamiddos is not: an exercise in denial. To deny our inner thoughts and emotions does not in any way resemble the kind of work the Torah exhorts us to do. Not only is it ineffective, but it actually hinders us from achieving true growth. To tell ourselves that we’re not jealous, angry, resentful, etc., when we actually are is counterproductive to true inner work. After all, if I’m never envious of anyone, why would I need to work on the middah of kinah? And what happens as a result is fascinating. Because I can’t admit to the place I’m at, I may find this middah seeps through the cracks nevertheless, taking on other guises. For example, let’s say I’m envious of someone who’s exhibiting success in a certain pursuit, but it’s hard for me to admit it. I may find myself thinking derogatory thoughts—or worse, verbalizing them—in the name of “l’toeles” or “hocheiach tochiach,” all because I can’t face my own truth. The longer we convince ourselves of this falsity, the longer it’ll take for us to actually get to work on refining our inner landscape. A Good Look We’ve established what avodas hamiddos is not, so what does constitute this virtuous endeavor? It starts with cheshbon hanefesh, looking inward. Taking stock of our current place is a critical prerequisite to authentic growth. It’s first and foremost tak-

ing a good, honest look at ourselves and asking, “What here needs fixing? Where do I stand right now that is hindering my ability to come closer to Hashem?” Exercising self-awareness is so important in our inner work that we find the sefarim don’t explain much regarding what needs to be done next. Often, the impact of simply seeing ourselves at the place where we currently stand is significant and transformative enough to trigger the growth process. There are times when an external change is warranted, and that in itself helps with refining one’s middos, for example, when one is tempted to speak lashon hara and doesn’t submit to the urge, or one is about to shatter an object in a fit of rage, but he desists. These are all virtuous measures toward refining one’s conduct, but if we want to truly refine our character from the inside out, the focus of our attention should be hisbonenus, introspection of our current place. Hisbonenus entails taking note of not only our strengths, but also our darker parts. As counterintuitive as it seems, it’s specifically when we take note of these parts that we can facilitate their dissipation. Make no mistake: the reason we often have a hard time seeing this side of ourselves emanates from a sacred place—we find it difficult to acknowledge that some of our parts don’t reflect our true exalted position as Yidden with a neshamah. But what Hakadosh Baruch Hu desires is for us to not turn a blind eye to our weaknesses. It’s only when we notice them that we can start to facilitate its dissolution. As long as we’re denying them, they simply remain, and then we find ourselves acting upon them mindlessly. Grab and Go We most often come to err in our ways in moments when we pay the least attention to our inner selves.

WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

TORAH WELLSPRING

To illustrate, imagine an individual taking a walk on Shabbos who puts his hat (or shtreimel) down at a rest stop. Suddenly, it dawns on him that he’s standing just at the border of the eiruv, with his hat on the other side of the demarcation line. Now what? He starts sifting through his brain, trying to dredge up some heter—any heter—to enable him to lift his hat up and continue walking. Alas, none come to mind. He continues to stand there for another minute or so, and then suddenly grabs the hat and walks off. What was the grabbing all about? Why couldn’t this individual lift his hat up calmly and stroll off? It’s because an aveirah never happens with clarity of mind, with a thoughtout plan. It happens in the moment when we’re caught off guard, when we’re simply not paying attention to what’s going on within. Indeed, the Gemara teaches that “one only sins when a ruach shtus [spirit of insanity] enters” (Sotah 3a). No frum Yid consciously chooses to transgress the Torah’s command. Rather, it happens when we’re not paying attention, when instead of taking the moment to ponder where we’re at, we quickly get up and “grab the hat.” A story is told of a great warrior against the Reform movement, Rav Bentzion Ilfas zt”l, who lived in the times of the Chafetz Chaim. He once approached a fellow Yid in shul with an interesting request: “Can you please regale me with a good piece of lashon hara? I reviewed the entire sefer Chafetz Chaim before I came to you, and I couldn’t find a heter for speaking ill of others. Still, I really would appreciate if you could tell me just one juicy statement of gossip.” The Yid raised his eyebrows at this bizarre request. “Lashon hara?” he asked, incredulous. “Of course not! I could lose my entire Gan Eden for that!” Rav Benzion heard the young man, but he didn’t back off. After a moment of thought, he made his offer all the more promising. “I’ll pay you for it,” he tried. “I’ll pay you whatever you feel it’s worth for me to hear 20

WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

that statement or two from you.” Every time the man refused, the Rav upped his bid, until he reached an astronomical number. At the sound of that, the young man blurted out, “Let me speak to my wife about this.” But then, he immediately drew back. “Are you serious? Do you really think I’m ready to give up my Olam Haba for a piece of lashon hara, even if you’re offering me this much? Never!” That’s when Rav Benzion finally asked the young man, “So tell me. Why is it that I walked past you on the way home from shul yesterday, and I heard you say a really bold statement of lashon hara against your fellow Yid? Now I’m offering you the world and you’re refusing to utter even one negative word, and then you were dispensing this same derogatory speech so freely.” At this, the Yid’s shoulders sagged from shame. But with his genuine ahavas Yisrael, Rav Benzion said to him, “Listen, dear brother. Allow me to explain the difference to you. Yesterday, you weren’t thinking. The words just flowed out your mouth of their own accord. Today, there was thought in the equation. First, I told you clearly that this would warrant a transgression. Then, I offered you a monetary reward. This generated a thought process: Do I want money or Gan Eden? I gave you so much time for cheshbon hanefesh that you couldn’t possibly commit this aveirah.” The reason we err is because, in those moments, we leave behind all vestiges of thought. Like a thief in the middle of the night, we just “grab the hat” and hurry off. It was with recognizing this phenomenon that the tzaddik Rav Usher Freund zt”l helped save a Yid’s neshamah from sin. The Yid, like many others who clung to Rav Usher, was no stranger to crime. He was found guilty of burglary on more than one occasion, and when he was caught stealing on Yom Kippur itself, Rav Usher devised a plan to help save his neshamah. He told the Yid, “I’m not sending you away from my home;

you’re still welcome to stay. But, every time you see me, I have one request from you: You must call me ‘Usher the ganav.’ Otherwise, you have to leave my home.” Wanting to remain in his comfortable quarters, under the wings of the quintessential oheiv Yisrael, the Yid followed orders, calling out ‘Usher the thief’ tens of times daily. With time, the Yid’s burglary career came to an end. How did Rav Usher wise insight facilitate this repentance? Until the Rav made this interesting request of the Yid, the Yid found reasons to justify every one of his thievery stints. He didn’t see it as thievery at all. But, once he started verbalizing again and again the name of the act he was guilty of, it started staring him in the face, so to speak. “Ganav, ganav, ganav,” the message reverberated in his mind, until he was so repulsed by the idea that his adverse habit came to an end. To Ponder It’s only when we pay no attention to what we’re doing that we can find ourselves engaging in behaviors that are less than ideal. As soon as we sit down and ponder, we simply can’t persist with our negative ways. A helpful suggestion for someone who’s seeking motivation to organize

No frum Yid consciously chooses to transgress the Torah’s command. Rather, it happens when we’re not paying attention, when instead of taking the moment to ponder where we’re at, we quickly get up and “grab the hat.”

a particular space is to first snap a photo of the area. This snapshot helps them realize just how untidy the space currently is, which will ease him into the organization process. The koach of this snapshot is the koach of cheshbon hanefesh. This is why recording ourselves for just one day can be a supremely powerful tool in making this accounting. We’ll have a chance to notice all those times we slipped up, those moments when we lashed out, when we spoke without thought, when we lost our composure. Because we have such a powerful need to feel whole and good, it’s challenging for us to see ourselves at the place we’re at. It’s uncomfortable for us to see what work still needs to be done, to notice our human frailties and what’s getting in the way of us connecting more deeply to our neshamah. But by taking this “snapshot,” by taking the time to ponder the place where we’re currently at, we’re able to kickstart the transformation process. As much as it may feel more comfortable in the moment, we simply can’t turn a blind eye to what needs improvement. In fact, one of the most powerful means to help facilitate healing in individuals who are struggling with addiction is to en-

courage them to verbalize the name of their self-sabotaging behavior. Even a hardcore addict has solid excuses to rationalize his behavior; it’s uncomfortable for him to see it for what it is. But when he actually verbalizes what he does, he gives himself the opportunity to ponder the truth, and that can help bring on positive change. Each of us has a need to be good, to feel shleimus. The only reason why we sometimes don’t conduct ourselves in alignment with that vision of ourselves is only because we’ve found a way to justify our deeds. That inner lawyer comes to the rescue so we can continue feeling holy and untainted. But if want to move away from tumah, from being disconnected from our neshamah, and move toward the kedushah that klal Yisrael reached at Matan Torah, that’s what needs to be done. In Koheles (5:1), Shlomo Hamelech urges, “Don’t be rash with your mouth and let your heart not be hasty to utter a word before Hashem.” If we would ponder our words one moment longer, is the message, we would speak differently. Haste often leads us to err simply because being cognitive of our every move enables us to go about it with clarity and purpose. It’s for this reason, the sefarim explain, that the conse-

quence for a leper was to wander outside the camp. This punishment was not to lock him out of society out of cruelty, only to facilitate what was so obviously lacking: his ability to ponder inward. That this individual spoke lashon hara is an indication that he hadn’t had the proper yishuv hada’as to consider how his emotions were getting in the way of his observance of the mitzvos nor the ramifications of his deed. Thus, the Torah wisely commands that he leave the machaneh, residing outside the camp for a considerable chunk of time, so he could engage in hisbonenus, to look deeper and see where he had gone wrong and how he had lost track of climbing toward the place he truly wants to be. When an individual engages in cheshbon hanefesh, he’s simply taking note of what he’s been doing—without rationalizing. He’s essentially looking himself in an authentic mirror, and that in itself will facilitate change. When we face ourselves at exactly where we are, the change process automatically commences. And it is then that we merit authentic growth, as well as the unmatched simchah that comes along with having nothing to hide—even from ourselves. With a more purified slate, we can be ready for a more connected life.

WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

UPDATES By Esther Retek

Breathe the Benefits Can sleep reduce the risk of asthma? That the mental and physical benefits of a good night’s sleep are many is no news. Now, however, new research suggests that getting a good night of shut-eye may be even more important for those susceptible to asthma or other respiratory conditions. According to a report in BMJ Open Respiratory Research, researchers used UK Biobank data on more than 455,000 adults enrolled between 2006 and 2010. Participants were asked about their sleep patterns, based on whether they were a “morning lark” or “night owl,” sleep duration, insomnia, snoring, and excessive daytime sleepiness. A healthy sleep pattern was defined as being a “morning lark,” getting seven to nine hours of sleep every night, rarely or never having insomnia, not snoring, and having no frequent daytime sleepiness. More than 73,000 people met the criteria for a healthy sleep pattern. More than 284,000 had an intermediate sleep pattern, and greater than 97,000 had a poor sleep pattern. A genetic asthma risk score for each of the subjects in this study was drawn according to the number of genetic variants associated with asthma in their genome. About a third was classified as having a high genetic risk, with another third as having an intermediate risk. The researchers then tracked the participants’ respiratory health. In just under nine years, more than 17,000 people developed asthma. They were more likely to have had potentially influential risk factors at the start of the

WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

study—including a greater likelihood of unhealthy sleep traits—than those who did not develop asthma. About 7,100 people at high genetic risk of asthma and more than 5,700 at intermediate genetic risk were diagnosed with asthma during the monitoring period. Compared with those at low genetic risk, those with the highest risk were 47 percent more likely to be diagnosed with asthma, the study found. Those with a poor sleep pattern were a whopping 55 percent more likely. Those who had genetic risk plus poor sleep patterns were 122 percent more likely to be diagnosed with asthma than those with both a healthy sleep pattern and a low genetic risk. On the flip side, a sleep duration of seven to nine hours per night were most influential in lowering risk, the researchers said. They did a further analysis on a smaller group of people, finding that a healthy sleep pattern might reduce the risk of asthma in those at high genetic risk by 37 percent. A healthy sleep pattern might help offset asthma risk, regardless of genetic susceptibility, the researchers said. “Considering that poor sleep combined with high genetic susceptibility yielded a greater than twofold asthma risk, sleep patterns could be recommended as an effective lifestyle intervention to prevent future asthma, especially for individuals with high-risk genetics,” the authors said. One more reason to hit the sack earlier.

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Details. WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

UPDATES

Paying the Price Can dollars and cents deter us from following up? As breast cancer awareness is spreading, more women are getting their necessary tests done, research shows. However, a distressing study published in JAMA Network Open shows that screening ends with just that. Of the 230,000 US women who underwent screening mammography, those in insurance plans with higher out-of-pocket costs were less likely to get follow-up testing after an abnormal screening result. Experts said the findings underscore a known and longstanding problem: “Cost-sharing” has been largely eliminated when it comes to breast cancer screening, but that still leaves many women unable to afford the next step. In most cases, abnormalities seen on screening mammography turn out not to be cancer. But the only way to know is with diagnostic imaging—often with another mammogram, or sometimes breast ultrasound or MRI. Health insurance covers those tests, but plans vary in how much of the bill goes to patients. Some plans, for example, have high deductibles—the amount of money a patient has to pay for medical services before the insurance kicks in—and other plans also have high coinsurances.

For the current study, her team analyzed data on more than 230,000 US women who had a screening mammogram in 2016. They belonged to nearly 23,000 different health plans, and the researchers grouped those plans according to how they approached cost-sharing. They found that plans that mainly used deductibles to charge patients had the highest out-of-pocket costs, followed by plans that mainly charged copayments. Plans that relied on coinsurance had the lowest out-of-pocket costs. Overall, women in the two types of plans with the highest out-of-pocket costs were less likely to have diagnostic imaging after a suspicious finding on screening. They had 16 to 24 fewer procedures for every 1,000 women, versus their counterparts in plans with lower out-of-pocket costs. Some women can manage the high costs, but others can’t. So those out-of-pocket costs could worsen existing disparities if they deter lower-income women from getting a diagnosis, says Molly Guthrie, vice president of policy and advocacy for the breast cancer nonprofit Susan G. Komen.

“When we talk about financial barriers to care, we often focus on people who are uninsured,” notes McGinty.

A possible solution, experts say, is to change how breast cancer screening is defined so that recommended follow-up tests carry no out-of-pocket costs. The precedent has been set with colon cancer: starting this year, Medicare and private insurers must cover a follow-up colonoscopy at no cost for people with an abnormal finding on stool-based screening.

But, she says, health insurance plans have been increasingly relying on cost-sharing in recent years. That can mean a hefty deductible or having patients pay for a portion of each medical service, through copayments (a flat fee) or coinsurance (a percentage of the total cost).

Will there be any changes to our insurance plans? We can only hope for that. Until then, our community is thankfully blessed with some wonderful organizations that help pay out-of-pocket costs for those who can’t afford it to ensure that everyone has the ability to receive the best care.

“Some plans have a deductible of a few thousand dollars,” says Dr. Geraldine McGinty, professor of radiology at Weill Cornell Medicine and the senior researcher on the new study.

“There’s a greater burden on patients now than there 24

used to be,” McGinty says.

WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

(Source: US News, MedicineNet)

Huge

At Hamaspik, the heart is in the details

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Part

in a series

Demystified

Myth: Hay fever is caused by the blooming flowers in the spring season. Fact: Grass and trees are the culprits, plus more myths surround those irksome seasonal allergies, commonly known as hay fever. One such myth is that hay fever, or any allergy for that matter, can’t develop once you reach adulthood. According to Medical News Today, this is untrue. One study published in JAMA Network Open looked at the prevalence of allergies in 40,443 US adults, and found that in around half of those individuals with allergies, at least one of their allergies developed during adulthood. Another fact that comes as a surprise to many is that hay fever, or allergic rhinitis, is not caused by flowers, but rather by airborne pollen. Flowers tend to produce large, sticky pollen, which does not fly through the air easily. They’re designed to attract insects and fasten pollen to their bodies rather than release it into the air. The major causes of hay fever are lighter pollen from grasses and trees. Ever wondered about the term “hay fever”? It stems from yet another expired myth: the condition is not caused by hay, nor is fever a symptom of the condition. In 1819, John Bostock, an English contributor to medical research, coined the term when he noticed hay fever symptoms as a result of what he thought was exposure to hay. A while later, hay was disregarded as the culprit, but the name remained. 26

WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

. s t r a e H e g u H Small Details.

Moishy* hesitated to go to his therapy appointments at Sipuk Clinic, worried that his friends would find out. Private waiting cubicles helped put Moishy* at ease, and empowered him on his journey of healing. But it didn’t stop there. Because at Hamaspik, small details reflect huge hearts.

To Do:

for private -Buy magazines waiting cubicles in waiting room -Restock snacks kids waiting area -Organize toys in ice home rv -Arrange car se y* ig for Fa

718-387-8400 • HamaspikKings.org Hamaspik of Kings County provides services, support, and hope to people with developmental disabilities and behavioral health challenges—and their families. WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

FITNESS

THE NEW WARDROBE STAPLE

By Chaya Tziry Retter, RDN, BS, CPT Chaya Tziry Retter is a Monsey-based Registered Dietitian, ACE-Certified Personal Trainer, and group fitness instructor. She is passionate about helping others lead healthier lives in a way that suits their needs. She can be reached at 845-540-4487.

WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

FITNESS GEAR THAT’S WHOLESOME AND PRACTICAL As the frum community’s health magazine, we at Wellspring are honored to introduce this innovative new addition to the frum woman’s fitness wardrobe. Aligned with our mission of cultivating a greater appreciation for spiritual and physical health, this new product ticks all the boxes. We wish Mrs. Eisenberger much success with her virtuous endeavor. With the warmer weathers setting in, you may have noticed a change in how you feel and think. This isn’t just in your mind; research shows that our moods and emotions are definitely impacted by the weather. Often after the winter months, the new season and higher temperatures bring on a brighter mood. The sunnier skies, blooming flowers, and longer days put a bounce in our step. It has been scientifically recognized that levels of leisure time, physical activity, and physical fitness differ according to the seasons, with more activity generally happening in the summer months. There’s a sense of renewal, a fresh start, and a chance to revive old commitments—like that dusty gym membership, the expired local class, and the exercise clip you never tried out. Along with your renewed motivation, you may need to update your workout gear, and now’s the perfect time. A while back, I spotted an ad for a new garment called “Knicks,” a tznius skirt/knicker combo, and I was intrigued. Different than the traditional skirt with leggings underneath, this modest version of a workout bottom resembles a skirt but offers the coverage that knickers provide. The brainchild of Mrs. S. G. Eisenberger from New Square, I reached out to her to find out more. In our conversation, Mrs. Eisenberger gave me some of the fascinating backstory behind the creation of Knicks. About 25 years ago, she and the women she exercised with would go to great lengths to exercise modestly. They would make sure to be covered almost from top to toe using anything they could move around in, including quilt covers. Fast-forward several years. Mrs. Eisenberger wanted to restart an exercise regimen, so she joined a class. Times certainly had changed, and with them the modesty levels. She felt the responsibility to find a solution that would be functional, practical, comfortable, and aesthetically pleasing. A tough order! Being the resourceful type, she started experimenting with different garments to see if she could create something she would be comfortable working out in, both literally and in tznius standards. She eventually put something together for herself and continued with her scheduled classes. It was actually the instructor of her group who called her out on a creative and innovative garment and encouraged her to fine-tune it and bring it

to market. With no background in manufacturing or production, Mrs. Eisenberger reached out to a friend who owns a baby-clothing line and connected with her reputable manufacturer. Then, she set out to do some research and development. Fabrics and styles were tested by friends, family, and initial customers. She took all feedback seriously and perfected the style until it seemed satisfactory across the board, even spending hours at her own sewing machine trying to make her vision a reality. Finally, Knicks was born, and along came the accolades. Consumers loved it and the product was selling fast. Her clientele runs an enormous spectrum, from older adults in physical therapy to young women hitting the gym, and now, with the newest expansion to her line— teenagers in gym class and after-school programs. It was actually a well-known school fitness instructor in Lakewood who urged Mrs. Eisenberger to include a child/ teen product in the line. I was awed by her story and of course, had to try out Knicks for myself. I found them easily in a local store in Monsey and I couldn’t believe how comfortable, cute, and tznius they are. I tried every bend, twist, kick, and stretch I could think of and was not hindered in any way. I was so excited because it was just around when I was set to give a live workout demo to the wonderful participants of Shaindy Oberlander’s PCOS virtual program. Full disclosure, I was plenty nervous about how I could maintain my modesty while on camera, and Knicks came into my life at just the right time. You can wear Knicks inconspicuously under your everyday skirt without changing in and out of leggings, so you can transition into your workout regimen without fanfare. That means going right from carpool to the gym. Or right from work to your personal trainer. Or even out for coffee to your local class. How’s that for one less excuse to avoid working out? To learn more about Knicks and where to purchase this product, please reach out to Mrs. Eisenberger at 845-502-6262.

WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783