Wellspring Issue #88

Ever Too Early?

MAY 2023 // IYAR 5783 // ISSUE 88

Passing On the Gift

Saw a Need and Filled It

How critical is the traditional crawling position?

Ascending to Greatness

Flustered in the Lab

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COPY & RESEARCH

Editor In Chief Shiffy Friedman Deputy Editor Libby Silberman Nutritional Advisory Board Dr. Rachael Schindler Laura Shammah, MS, RDN Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE Bashy Halberstam, INHC Shaindy Oberlander, INHC Shira Savit, MA, MHC, CHC Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD Nutrition Contributors Tanya Rosen, MS CAI CPT Shani Taub, CDC

.

Health Advisory Board Dr. Chayala Englard Chaya Tilla Brachfeld, RN Fitness Advisory Board Syma Kranz, PFC Esther Fried, PFC Child Development Advisory Board Friedy Singer, OTR/L Roizy Guttmann, OTR/L Coordinating Editor Liba Solomon, CNWC Feature Editors Rochel Gordon • Rikki Samson

$99.00

Proofreaders Faige Badian • Meira Lawrence

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The Wellspring Magazine is published monthly by Wellspring Magazine Inc. All rights are reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part or in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. The Wellspring Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content or kashrus of advertisements in the publication, nor for the content of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. The contents of The Wellspring Magazine, such as text, graphics and other material (content) are intended for educational purposes only. The content is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your health care provider with any questions you have regarding your medical condition.

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EDITOR'S NOTE

I

How Much Do You Weigh?

f you recoiled at the title of this piece, I get you. A person’s weight, for the most part, is considered a private topic. What grown women wouldn’t do to keep this fateful number under wraps. For some, it’s a subject of shame. But, for the majority of at least one segment of our population, it’s irrelevant. It’s the kids—and we have so much to learn from them.

This issue’s topic in Gila Glassberg’s enlightening column Tap In brought to mind a conversation I overheard several months ago, when my nine-year-old daughter had a few friends over one Sunday afternoon. They wanted to take turns in a small car the little ones enjoy riding, but one of them noticed a label sporting the vehicle’s weight limit. “Let’s get the scale,” my daughter remarked with what was only nonchalance. She came into the kitchen to find out where it was, and I directed her to its location.

Before long, the four of them were standing in a line, each awaiting their turn to step on the device that is wrought with so many deep-seated associations for too many of us—so inextricably bound to our self-worth—to get a glimpse of their status: Am I allowed to sit in this car or not?

My ears sharpened, I listened as one by one, they announced their number aloud. Then, giggles. “So cute, you’re one pound more than me!” “Isn’t it funny that she’s ten pounds less and we’re all the same height?”

And then, just like that, next conversation. How refreshing!

I

spent some time thinking about this episode, mulling over what I found so endearing about it. Various answers came to mind, but one was the absolute non-issue a significantly emotion-laden topic among adults is for these blessed kids. It is my hope and prayer that this blissful ignorance—a sign of how inconsequential the matter is in their eyes—accompanies them for a long time. So she weighs more, so what?

Imagine how much more wholesome our world would be if external variables mattered so little. Often, readers write in to say how impacted they are by the significance weight—and appearance—takes up in their community,

even among those who place an emphasis on higher values. To change the deep-seated reality for ourselves may feel too challenging, but there are measures we can take to at least help our children lead lives that are less consumed by these matters.

For one, the more we convey externals as a non-issue, the better. Instead of lecturing about their insignificance and drawing the topic to our children’s attention, simply not making a big deal about it speaks volumes. One of my young daughters has a broader build, especially relative to her sister immediately under her whose build is particularly slender, and she’ll sometimes say to me, especially when she’s wearing something new and noticing how the outfit fits, “Right I’m fat?”

What I usually tell her is that I don’t think she’s fat (I really don’t), but it never ends there. I always ask her, “And if you are fat? And so?”

Seriously, and so? Unless a child is so overweight that her health or social standing is impacted, why does this even have to be a topic? It’s during these formative years that our daughters create the associations they will have with food for the rest of their lives. Do we want them to feel guilty every time they’re eating “too much?” To feel fear that one more slice of cake or even plate of salad will “make me fat?” We want them to value themselves for their true essence, for being prized daughters of the King, created in the image of Hashem.

Of course, anything in the extreme isn’t wholesome, and teaching our kids to pay attention to their overall appearance as refined, put-together individuals has importance, but conveying an emphasis on the subject can be severely detrimental to our children’s self-image and contentment. We want them to eat nourishing meals because it’s good for them and their body, not because we’re afraid of weight gain. We want them to look at themselves in the mirror and feel good about what they see, regardless of the inconsequential number on the scale. And the more of a non-issue these things are in their life, the more focused they can be be’ezras Hashem on what really matters.

n a m d e i r F Shiffy

Enjoy the rest of this glorious season,

WELL- PUT “A wandering mind is a universal experience that is not exclusive to individuals with ADHD.”

Dr. Lidia Zylowska, Sample WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

7

CONTENTS

MAY 2023 IYAR 5783 ISSUE 88

WELL INFORMED

Our next issue will appear on Wednesday, May 31rd iy"H.

18 49

10

Springboard

16

Spiritual Eating

18

Torah Wellspring

22

Health Updates

LIVING WELL 28

Fitness

30

Ask the Nutritionist

32

FYI

36

Community

38

Cover Feature

46

Sample

56

Medical Saga

60 Serial Diary 62

90 73

SEASONED 8

WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

DIY

WELLBEING 64

OT@Home

66

Tap In

68

Parenting

FAREWELL 98

Holistic

Cup of Tea will return next month iy"H.

Small

Details.

WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

9

SPRINGBOARD

On Movement at Home, Raising a SpecialNeeds Child, Mindbody Connection, and More

Marked Difference Issue #87: Seasoned, OT@ Home

I wanted to bring to your attention a possible error in the Pesach issue’s Swap column. I tried the zucchini potato kugel eagerly, excited to bring some nutrition into a family favorite, but was very disappointed when my offerings were refused by my family.

The final result was way too salty.

The recipe called for a quarter cup of salt, which seemed way off. I’d added a few tablespoons instead, but it was too salty anyway. It was also too watery thanks to the zucchini’s natural water, and it required an extra half hour or more of baking time.

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WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

The recipe also failed to mention how much oil was needed. I’d love the corrected version of the recipe if possible.

On another note, I thoroughly enjoyed Miriam Frankel’s OT@ Home article on deep touch and movement at home, which was fabulous. I tried most of her ideas and saw a marked difference in my children later. A day before Pesach, when all the kids were home and feeling bored and unsettled, I took out the oldest mattresses in the house, gave them blankets and pillows, and instructed them to build a fort with these items.

They had a total blast, jumping, rolling, and tumble-saucing all the way through. I joined them myself for a few minutes and they got a

total kick out of seeing their mommy rolling on the mattresses as well.

They were so settled for the rest of the day—it was incredible to observe. I’ll be doing this again.

Thank you!

Chanala M. Lakewood, New Jersey

Wow Issue #87

Having just finished reading my very first issue of Wellspring (found it at my in-laws’ home on Pesach),

Huge

At Hamaspik, the heart is in the details

WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

11

Quick Question

SPRINGBOARD

Question: Several of my children, ranging in age from 8 to 13, are suffering seriously from spring allergies. Which supplements would you recommend? And what else can I do for them to obtain relief?

Answer: The trees are in full bloom, partly due to the relatively warm weather in New York. Here in Brooklyn, the pollen count is above normal, and people of all ages are suffering. It’s a particularly intense season for children like yours, and adults who suffer from spring fever too.

Whenever possible, keep windows shut, and use air conditioning instead when needed.

Several reputable companies offer natural allergy supplements. Look out for quercetin in the ingredient list, as research has shown it to be very beneficial. Raw natural honey is also very helpful.

In terms of homeopathic remedies, Alledryl, Allium cepa, and Histaminum have shown good results, and the sinus oil featured in this issue’s DIY column can significantly help with decongestion.

Make sure your kids remain hydrated to make up for the loss of fluid in sneezing and runny nose.

Wishing you and yours a pleasant springtime!

Take care, Miriam Schweid, kinesiologist and health consultant

I’m simply writing to say “wow.”

How wholesome! There was so much content that was relevant to me, as a young mother who isn’t particularly into health but appreciates clean, wholesome living. I’m so looking forward to reading your next issue and continuing to learn more about health, wellness, and all the good stuff you bring to your readers’ attention.

A New Fan, Y.M. Howell, New Jersey

The Mindbody Connection Issue #87: Community

Thank you for a comprehensive and 12

WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

beautifully done Pesach magazine.

I wanted to particularly thank you for the Medical Saga on postpartum vertigo. I was fascinated by how the protagonist was able to cure herself via the Sarno method.

I went ahead and ordered The Mindbody Prescription by Dr. John Sarno from Amazon and got it Erev Pesach. (The article mentioned The Divided Mind from the same author, but I hear they’re all very similar.)

I started reading it over Pesach and found it extremely enlightening. I’m looking forward to seeing how this method can help me with certain issues I’ve been struggling with for a long while.

Esty F. Monroe, New York

Perfectly Imperfect Issue #87: Are We There Yet?

I really have been enjoying the serial diary of Malky Sapir (written

by Libby Silberman). I have a specialneeds child myself and while I would love to say that I have come to a place of acceptance, the sad truth is that I’m still so angry. It was kind of healing to read that a “special main character” is also not in a perfect place of acceptance of her special child. It meant a lot to me. We can all be imperfect and special at the same time.

Please convey my thanks to her.

Lots of hatzlachah, T.T. Queens

. s t r a e H e g u H Small Details.

For the individuals living there, the group home is home. So each Shabbos, a Shabbos couple, the “Totty and Mommy,” move into each Hamaspik group home, creating a warm, family-like atmosphere replete with singing, delicious food, and much joy.

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Because at Hamaspik, small details reflect huge hearts.

Shabbos To Do

List:

d of table Seat Leiby* at en s sings parshah song Make sure my Sruli make kiddush Remind Volvi* to sugar-free fish Give Shloimy* his eat dvar Torah Ask Moshe* to rep

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WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

13

The Doctor Is In

SPRINGBOARD

Question: I’ve been having trouble falling asleep recently and a friend suggested I try melatonin as a sleep aid. She says she uses it for herself and her kids and claims it works wonders. Is it okay to try it and see if it helps me sleep?

Answer: Melatonin is generally considered safe to take for sleep when used appropriately and at the recommended doses. Melatonin is a hormone produced by the pineal gland in the brain that helps regulate the sleep-wake cycle. It is commonly used as a sleep aid to help people fall asleep and stay asleep.

has no effect. There is also concern that long-term use of melatonin in children may affect the natural production of the hormone, which could lead to dependence or withdrawal symptoms.

The recommended dose of melatonin varies depending on the individual’s age, health status, and sleep needs. For most adults, a dose of 0.5 to 5 mg taken 30 minutes to an hour before bedtime is typically effective. However, it’s important to note that melatonin should not be used as a long-term solution for sleep problems without first consulting with a healthcare provider.

1. Stick to a regular sleep schedule. Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on Shabbos.

Although melatonin is generally safe, some people may experience side effects such as headache, dizziness, nausea, or drowsiness. Additionally, it can interact with certain medications and medical conditions, so it’s important to talk to a healthcare provider before taking melatonin if you have any underlying medical conditions or are taking any medications. In addition, the supplement industry is not regulated, so the dosages in different brands of melatonin may not be consistent.

While melatonin is generally considered safe for adults, the use of melatonin in children should be approached with caution and only under the guidance of a healthcare provider. Melatonin is sometimes used in children to treat sleep problems such as insomnia, jet lag, or sleep disorders such as ADHD or autism spectrum disorder.

The American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) recommends that parents or caregivers consult with a healthcare provider before giving melatonin to children. Melatonin dosing for children is based on age, weight, and sleep problem being treated.

It’s important to note that the long-term effects of melatonin use are not well understood. Some studies suggest that melatonin may interfere with puberty development, while other studies suggest that it

Consider improving sleep hygiene before starting medication:

2. Create a relaxing bedtime routine. This can include activities such as taking a warm bath, reading a book, or listening to calming music.

3. Make your bedroom conducive to sleep. Ensure that your bedroom is quiet, cool, and dark. Consider using blackout curtains, earplugs, or a white noise machine to create a comfortable sleep environment.

4. Avoid stimulating activities before bedtime. This includes using electronic devices or exercising, which can interfere with the ability to fall asleep.

5. Limit caffeine and alcohol consumption. Both caffeine and alcohol can interfere with sleep, so it’s important to avoid them before bedtime.

6. Avoid large meals before bedtime. Eating a heavy meal before bedtime can cause discomfort and interfere with sleep.

7. Exercise regularly. Regular physical activity can help you sleep better, but try to avoid exercising too close to bedtime.

8. Manage stress. Stress and anxiety can interfere with your sleep, so it’s important to practice stressmanagement techniques, such as deep breathing exercises.

9. Avoid napping during the day. If you’re having trouble sleeping at night, it’s best to avoid napping during the day.

10. Create a comfortable sleep environment. This includes a comfortable bed and pillow.

Sleep well and be well, Jennie Berkovich, DO, FAAP JOWMA Director of Education

14

WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

The Self-Worth Connection Issue #87: Wellbeing Panel

I just finished reading the exceptionally thoughtprovoking panel titled “Is My Child Ready for Marriage?” Although my oldest child is still in his early teens, I came away from the article with so much insight regarding the foundations of marriage— starting with my own.

Rabbi Ezra Friedman’s explanation on how to raise a child who’s more giving was especially insightful.

It turns the whole concept of becoming a giver on its head. It reminded me of something I learned at a parenting class that really resonated with me, and I’m sure many Wellspring readers will appreciate it too. The parenting teacher, who is very ehrlich and focused on instilling good middos in our children, really shocked us when she said that putting pressure on our kids to share not only doesn’t teach them to be more giving, but it can even backfire when a child feels that what he considers “his” is threatened. She went as far as to say that for a child to give up his toy is like for a woman to allow a neighbor to come into her kitchen and use it for the day. Instead, she recommended, we should model giving and speak to our kids about sharing in teachable moments, not when they’re caught in the situation.

The concept really made sense to me, but I always wondered how I could then help my kids grow into stronger givers. Rabbi Friedman’s insights on the topic gave me just what I was looking for.

Miriam D.

Get in touch!

Wellspring invites readers to submit letters and comments via regular mail or email to info@wellspringmagazine.com.

We reserve the right to edit all submissions and will withhold your name upon request. We will honor requests for anonymity, but we cannot consider letters that arrive without contact information.

Any health information, advice, or suggestions published here are the opinion of the letter writer and are not independently investigated, endorsed, or validated by Wellspring. Always seek the advice of a qualified health professional or medical practitioner regarding any medical advice, condition, or treatment.

Far Rockaway

WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

15

SPIRITUAL EATING

By Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS

Recipe for a Blessing— Or the Opposite “If you follow My decrees and observe My commandments and perform them; then I will provide your rains in their time, and the land will give its produce and the tree of the field will give its fruit.

Your threshing will last until the vintage, and the vintage will last until the sowing; you will eat to satiety and you will dwell securely in your land” (Vayikra 26:3–5).

“If despite these you will not be chastised toward Me, and you behave casually with Me, then I, too, will behave toward you with casualness; and I will strike you, even I, seven ways for your sins…When I break for you the staff of bread, ten women will bake your bread in one oven, and they will bring back your bread by weight; you will eat and not be sated” (ibid., 26:23–26).

Parashas Bechukosai describes in great detail the horrific curses that will befall the Yidden if we abandon Hashem and his Torah, chas veshalom. It’s prefaced, however, with the wonderful blessings the Ribbono Shel Olam will bestow upon us if we adhere to His mitzvos and strive to continually deepen our relationship with Him. So what does eating have to do with it?

Isn’t the act of consuming food exclusively for meeting our physical needs for nourishment? Why would our spiritual relationship with Hashem impact our ability to be satisfied from a good meal? Clearly, the Torah is identifying a very strong connection.

A healthy relationship with food is inexorably linked to our spiritual wellbeing. Meaning, if we treat food in line with the purpose for which Hashem gave it—to provide energy and vitality to our bodies so they can be in the best condition possible to perform our avodas Hashem—then that itself is a

spiritual pursuit, as the Rambam says in the beginning of the fourth chapter of Hilchos Deios. We are respecting the body Hashem granted us, and acknowledging His beneficence by enjoying the fine food He provides in an appropriate manner that promotes our health. We will be sated—satisfied with the proper amounts, and not stuffing ourselves to feed our indulgences or grasping for unhealthy things just because they give us an immediate hit of a few seconds of palatable pleasure.

However, if indulgent behavior is our norm, this is an indication of a breakdown in our spiritual wellbeing and relationship with Hashem. We are focusing on our physical gratifications and ignoring the responsibility we have to care for the body He gave us. We are feeding our yetzer hara and starving our soul, thereby creating distance in our relationship with Hashem and, as the Torah clearly teaches, actually lessening our ability to be satisfied. An individual who misuses and abuses the gift of food will never be sated because he’ll be chasing after a carrot dangling from an endless stick.

Let us follow the berachos we say before eating with a behavior that maximizes our healthy relationship with food, and thereby earn the benevolent blessings Hashem yearns to give us. In this way, we will acquire genuine and lasting satisfaction.

Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS, is the founder and director of Soveya and the author of the best-selling book Enough Is Enough—How the Soveya Solution Is Revolutionizing the Diet and Weight-Loss World, available on Amazon and at Barnes & Nobles and Judaica Plaza in Lakewood.

He has worked with thousands of clients around the world and has maintained a 130-pound weight loss for the last 19 years. For more information about Soveya’s programs call 732-578-8800, email info@soveya.com, or visit www. soveya.com.

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WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

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WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

17

TORAH WELLSPRING

By Rabbi Ezra Friedman

Ascending to Greatness The most important aspect of spiritual health is often the most overlooked

In our preparation for Matan Torah, we’re not only required to count the days of omer, but also to make the days count. As the Nesivos Shalom, among many other sefarim, notes, the period of Sefiras Ha’omer is a time for us to pay attention to and improve our middos as a prerequisite for becoming a viable vessel for absorbing the Torah.

18

WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

We want to arrive at Matan Torah of 5783 having done the work to ready ourselves for receiving this momentous gift. So what is this work that’s required from us?

These days are highly opportune for avodas hamiddos. It’s in this time period over three millennia ago that Klal Yisrael experienced the pinnacle of spiritual metamorphosis: they rose from the forty-ninth level of impurity to the peak of kedushah at Matan Torah. What does “forty-ninth level of im-

purity” mean? How can our human minds grasp this concept? Simply put, tumah refers to distance from Hakadosh Baruch Hu. The closer a neshamah is to Hashem, the more kedushah it holds. In Mitzrayim, Klal Yisrael was as far from Hashem as could possibly be. It was through coming closer and closer to Him that they transformed into the holiest of people. The word tamei, the sefarim explain, contains the same letters as the word atum, blocked. Spiritual impurity ensues as a result of a blockage, of an individual’s disconnect from their neshamah, which is essentially a disconnect from Hashem. It’s when a Yid, a composite of guf and neshamah, lives on a very superficial plane, tending only to the needs and wants of his guf. (This explains why a meis, the physical body in which the neshamah is no longer present, is the entity that has the most tumah).

In Those Days, in Our Times The more connected we are to the spiritual pursuits in life, the more steps away we are from tumah, and these weeks of Sefiras Ha’omer are an especially auspicious time to invest ourselves in this endeavor. Just as the Yidden in the dor hamidbar experienced their elevation during this period, these days in our time are also infused with that same koach—a koach of enabling us to rise to great heights, of leaving behind every vestige of impurity and moving closer and closer to becoming sanctified vessels of Torah.

The path to purifying ourselves, we know, is through avodas hamiddos. Each of the Sefiros correlates to a middah that we have the ability to acquire and refine, traits that negate the wants of the body and embrace the desires of the neshamah. While the body, for example, is self-centered, the neshamah desires to give.

At all times, the neshamah desires to emulate the middos of Hakadosh

Baruch Hu, who is the quintessential Giver and the embodiment of forgiveness, among other positive traits.

Avodas hamiddos is a lofty ideal.

But what does it mean in practical terms for us human beings living in the here and now? What is the path to effecting change from the inside out? Before we delve into what constitutes effective avodas hamiddos, let’s preface it with a disclaimer of what avodas hamiddos is not: an exercise in denial.

To deny our inner thoughts and emotions does not in any way resemble the kind of work the Torah exhorts us to do. Not only is it ineffective, but it actually hinders us from achieving true growth.

To tell ourselves that we’re not jealous, angry, resentful, etc., when we actually are is counterproductive to true inner work. After all, if I’m never envious of anyone, why would I need to work on the middah of kinah? And what happens as a result is fascinating. Because I can’t admit to the place I’m at, I may find this middah seeps through the cracks nevertheless, taking on other guises.

For example, let’s say I’m envious of someone who’s exhibiting success in a certain pursuit, but it’s hard for me to admit it. I may find myself thinking derogatory thoughts—or worse, verbalizing them—in the name of “l’toeles” or “hocheiach tochiach,” all because I can’t face my own truth.

The longer we convince ourselves of this falsity, the longer it’ll take for us to actually get to work on refining our inner landscape.

A Good Look We’ve established what avodas hamiddos is not, so what does constitute this virtuous endeavor? It starts with cheshbon hanefesh, looking inward.

Taking stock of our current place is a critical prerequisite to authentic growth. It’s first and foremost tak-

ing a good, honest look at ourselves and asking, “What here needs fixing?

Where do I stand right now that is hindering my ability to come closer to Hashem?” Exercising self-awareness is so important in our inner work that we find the sefarim don’t explain much regarding what needs to be done next. Often, the impact of simply seeing ourselves at the place where we currently stand is significant and transformative enough to trigger the growth process.

There are times when an external change is warranted, and that in itself helps with refining one’s middos, for example, when one is tempted to speak lashon hara and doesn’t submit to the urge, or one is about to shatter an object in a fit of rage, but he desists. These are all virtuous measures toward refining one’s conduct, but if we want to truly refine our character from the inside out, the focus of our attention should be hisbonenus, introspection of our current place.

Hisbonenus entails taking note of not only our strengths, but also our darker parts. As counterintuitive as it seems, it’s specifically when we take note of these parts that we can facilitate their dissipation. Make no mistake: the reason we often have a hard time seeing this side of ourselves emanates from a sacred place—we find it difficult to acknowledge that some of our parts don’t reflect our true exalted position as Yidden with a neshamah. But what Hakadosh Baruch Hu desires is for us to not turn a blind eye to our weaknesses. It’s only when we notice them that we can start to facilitate its dissolution.

As long as we’re denying them, they simply remain, and then we find ourselves acting upon them mindlessly.

Grab and Go We most often come to err in our ways in moments when we pay the least attention to our inner selves.

WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

19

TORAH WELLSPRING

To illustrate, imagine an individual taking a walk on Shabbos who puts his hat (or shtreimel) down at a rest stop. Suddenly, it dawns on him that he’s standing just at the border of the eiruv, with his hat on the other side of the demarcation line. Now what?

He starts sifting through his brain, trying to dredge up some heter—any heter—to enable him to lift his hat up and continue walking. Alas, none come to mind. He continues to stand there for another minute or so, and then suddenly grabs the hat and walks off.

What was the grabbing all about?

Why couldn’t this individual lift his hat up calmly and stroll off? It’s because an aveirah never happens with clarity of mind, with a thoughtout plan. It happens in the moment when we’re caught off guard, when we’re simply not paying attention to what’s going on within. Indeed, the Gemara teaches that “one only sins when a ruach shtus [spirit of insanity] enters” (Sotah 3a). No frum Yid consciously chooses to transgress the Torah’s command. Rather, it happens when we’re not paying attention, when instead of taking the moment to ponder where we’re at, we quickly get up and “grab the hat.”

A story is told of a great warrior against the Reform movement, Rav Bentzion Ilfas zt”l, who lived in the times of the Chafetz Chaim. He once approached a fellow Yid in shul with an interesting request: “Can you please regale me with a good piece of lashon hara? I reviewed the entire sefer Chafetz Chaim before I came to you, and I couldn’t find a heter for speaking ill of others. Still, I really would appreciate if you could tell me just one juicy statement of gossip.”

The Yid raised his eyebrows at this bizarre request. “Lashon hara?” he asked, incredulous. “Of course not!

I could lose my entire Gan Eden for that!” Rav Benzion heard the young man, but he didn’t back off. After a moment of thought, he made his offer all the more promising. “I’ll pay you for it,” he tried. “I’ll pay you whatever you feel it’s worth for me to hear 20

WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

that statement or two from you.” Every time the man refused, the Rav upped his bid, until he reached an astronomical number. At the sound of that, the young man blurted out, “Let me speak to my wife about this.” But then, he immediately drew back. “Are you serious? Do you really think I’m ready to give up my Olam Haba for a piece of lashon hara, even if you’re offering me this much? Never!”

That’s when Rav Benzion finally asked the young man, “So tell me.

Why is it that I walked past you on the way home from shul yesterday, and I heard you say a really bold statement of lashon hara against your fellow Yid? Now I’m offering you the world and you’re refusing to utter even one negative word, and then you were dispensing this same derogatory speech so freely.”

At this, the Yid’s shoulders sagged from shame. But with his genuine ahavas Yisrael, Rav Benzion said to him, “Listen, dear brother. Allow me to explain the difference to you.

Yesterday, you weren’t thinking. The words just flowed out your mouth of their own accord. Today, there was thought in the equation. First, I told you clearly that this would warrant a transgression. Then, I offered you a monetary reward. This generated a thought process: Do I want money or Gan Eden? I gave you so much time for cheshbon hanefesh that you couldn’t possibly commit this aveirah.”

The reason we err is because, in those moments, we leave behind all vestiges of thought. Like a thief in the middle of the night, we just “grab the hat” and hurry off.

It was with recognizing this phenomenon that the tzaddik Rav Usher Freund zt”l helped save a Yid’s neshamah from sin. The Yid, like many others who clung to Rav Usher, was no stranger to crime. He was found guilty of burglary on more than one occasion, and when he was caught stealing on Yom Kippur itself, Rav Usher devised a plan to help save his neshamah. He told the Yid, “I’m not sending you away from my home;

you’re still welcome to stay. But, every time you see me, I have one request from you: You must call me ‘Usher the ganav.’ Otherwise, you have to leave my home.” Wanting to remain in his comfortable quarters, under the wings of the quintessential oheiv Yisrael, the Yid followed orders, calling out ‘Usher the thief’ tens of times daily.

With time, the Yid’s burglary career came to an end. How did Rav Usher wise insight facilitate this repentance? Until the Rav made this interesting request of the Yid, the Yid found reasons to justify every one of his thievery stints. He didn’t see it as thievery at all. But, once he started verbalizing again and again the name of the act he was guilty of, it started staring him in the face, so to speak.

“Ganav, ganav, ganav,” the message reverberated in his mind, until he was so repulsed by the idea that his adverse habit came to an end.

To Ponder It’s only when we pay no attention to what we’re doing that we can find ourselves engaging in behaviors that are less than ideal. As soon as we sit down and ponder, we simply can’t persist with our negative ways.

A helpful suggestion for someone who’s seeking motivation to organize

No frum Yid consciously chooses to transgress the Torah’s command. Rather, it happens when we’re not paying attention, when instead of taking the moment to ponder where we’re at, we quickly get up and “grab the hat.”

a particular space is to first snap a photo of the area. This snapshot helps them realize just how untidy the space currently is, which will ease him into the organization process.

The koach of this snapshot is the koach of cheshbon hanefesh. This is why recording ourselves for just one day can be a supremely powerful tool in making this accounting. We’ll have a chance to notice all those times we slipped up, those moments when we lashed out, when we spoke without thought, when we lost our composure.

Because we have such a powerful need to feel whole and good, it’s challenging for us to see ourselves at the place we’re at. It’s uncomfortable for us to see what work still needs to be done, to notice our human frailties and what’s getting in the way of us connecting more deeply to our neshamah. But by taking this “snapshot,” by taking the time to ponder the place where we’re currently at, we’re able to kickstart the transformation process.

As much as it may feel more comfortable in the moment, we simply can’t turn a blind eye to what needs improvement. In fact, one of the most powerful means to help facilitate healing in individuals who are struggling with addiction is to en-

courage them to verbalize the name of their self-sabotaging behavior.

Even a hardcore addict has solid excuses to rationalize his behavior; it’s uncomfortable for him to see it for what it is. But when he actually verbalizes what he does, he gives himself the opportunity to ponder the truth, and that can help bring on positive change.

Each of us has a need to be good, to feel shleimus. The only reason why we sometimes don’t conduct ourselves in alignment with that vision of ourselves is only because we’ve found a way to justify our deeds.

That inner lawyer comes to the rescue so we can continue feeling holy and untainted. But if want to move away from tumah, from being disconnected from our neshamah, and move toward the kedushah that klal Yisrael reached at Matan Torah, that’s what needs to be done.

In Koheles (5:1), Shlomo Hamelech urges, “Don’t be rash with your mouth and let your heart not be hasty to utter a word before Hashem.” If we would ponder our words one moment longer, is the message, we would speak differently. Haste often leads us to err simply because being cognitive of our every move enables us to go about it with clarity and purpose. It’s for this reason, the sefarim explain, that the conse-

quence for a leper was to wander outside the camp. This punishment was not to lock him out of society out of cruelty, only to facilitate what was so obviously lacking: his ability to ponder inward. That this individual spoke lashon hara is an indication that he hadn’t had the proper yishuv hada’as to consider how his emotions were getting in the way of his observance of the mitzvos nor the ramifications of his deed. Thus, the Torah wisely commands that he leave the machaneh, residing outside the camp for a considerable chunk of time, so he could engage in hisbonenus, to look deeper and see where he had gone wrong and how he had lost track of climbing toward the place he truly wants to be.

When an individual engages in cheshbon hanefesh, he’s simply taking note of what he’s been doing—without rationalizing. He’s essentially looking himself in an authentic mirror, and that in itself will facilitate change. When we face ourselves at exactly where we are, the change process automatically commences.

And it is then that we merit authentic growth, as well as the unmatched simchah that comes along with having nothing to hide—even from ourselves. With a more purified slate, we can be ready for a more connected life.

WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

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UPDATES

By Esther Retek

Breathe the Benefits Can sleep reduce the risk of asthma?

That the mental and physical benefits of a good night’s sleep are many is no news. Now, however, new research suggests that getting a good night of shut-eye may be even more important for those susceptible to asthma or other respiratory conditions.

According to a report in BMJ Open Respiratory Research, researchers used UK Biobank data on more than 455,000 adults enrolled between 2006 and 2010. Participants were asked about their sleep patterns, based on whether they were a “morning lark” or “night owl,” sleep duration, insomnia, snoring, and excessive daytime sleepiness.

A healthy sleep pattern was defined as being a “morning lark,” getting seven to nine hours of sleep every night, rarely or never having insomnia, not snoring, and having no frequent daytime sleepiness. More than 73,000 people met the criteria for a healthy sleep pattern. More than 284,000 had an intermediate sleep pattern, and greater than 97,000 had a poor sleep pattern.

A genetic asthma risk score for each of the subjects in this study was drawn according to the number of genetic variants associated with asthma in their genome. About a third was classified as having a high genetic risk, with another third as having an intermediate risk.

The researchers then tracked the participants’ respiratory health. In just under nine years, more than 17,000 people developed asthma. They were more likely to have had potentially influential risk factors at the start of the

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study—including a greater likelihood of unhealthy sleep traits—than those who did not develop asthma.

About 7,100 people at high genetic risk of asthma and more than 5,700 at intermediate genetic risk were diagnosed with asthma during the monitoring period. Compared with those at low genetic risk, those with the highest risk were 47 percent more likely to be diagnosed with asthma, the study found. Those with a poor sleep pattern were a whopping 55 percent more likely. Those who had genetic risk plus poor sleep patterns were 122 percent more likely to be diagnosed with asthma than those with both a healthy sleep pattern and a low genetic risk.

On the flip side, a sleep duration of seven to nine hours per night were most influential in lowering risk, the researchers said. They did a further analysis on a smaller group of people, finding that a healthy sleep pattern might reduce the risk of asthma in those at high genetic risk by 37 percent. A healthy sleep pattern might help offset asthma risk, regardless of genetic susceptibility, the researchers said.

“Considering that poor sleep combined with high genetic susceptibility yielded a greater than twofold asthma risk, sleep patterns could be recommended as an effective lifestyle intervention to prevent future asthma, especially for individuals with high-risk genetics,” the authors said.

One more reason to hit the sack earlier.

Small

Details.

WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

23

UPDATES

Paying the Price Can dollars and cents deter us from following up?

As breast cancer awareness is spreading, more women are getting their necessary tests done, research shows.

However, a distressing study published in JAMA Network Open shows that screening ends with just that. Of the 230,000 US women who underwent screening mammography, those in insurance plans with higher out-of-pocket costs were less likely to get follow-up testing after an abnormal screening result.

Experts said the findings underscore a known and longstanding problem: “Cost-sharing” has been largely eliminated when it comes to breast cancer screening, but that still leaves many women unable to afford the next step.

In most cases, abnormalities seen on screening mammography turn out not to be cancer. But the only way to know is with diagnostic imaging—often with another mammogram, or sometimes breast ultrasound or MRI. Health insurance covers those tests, but plans vary in how much of the bill goes to patients. Some plans, for example, have high deductibles—the amount of money a patient has to pay for medical services before the insurance kicks in—and other plans also have high coinsurances.

For the current study, her team analyzed data on more than 230,000 US women who had a screening mammogram in 2016. They belonged to nearly 23,000 different health plans, and the researchers grouped those plans according to how they approached cost-sharing.

They found that plans that mainly used deductibles to charge patients had the highest out-of-pocket costs, followed by plans that mainly charged copayments. Plans that relied on coinsurance had the lowest out-of-pocket costs.

Overall, women in the two types of plans with the highest out-of-pocket costs were less likely to have diagnostic imaging after a suspicious finding on screening. They had 16 to 24 fewer procedures for every 1,000 women, versus their counterparts in plans with lower out-of-pocket costs.

Some women can manage the high costs, but others can’t.

So those out-of-pocket costs could worsen existing disparities if they deter lower-income women from getting a diagnosis, says Molly Guthrie, vice president of policy and advocacy for the breast cancer nonprofit Susan G. Komen.

“When we talk about financial barriers to care, we often focus on people who are uninsured,” notes McGinty.

A possible solution, experts say, is to change how breast cancer screening is defined so that recommended follow-up tests carry no out-of-pocket costs. The precedent has been set with colon cancer: starting this year, Medicare and private insurers must cover a follow-up colonoscopy at no cost for people with an abnormal finding on stool-based screening.

But, she says, health insurance plans have been increasingly relying on cost-sharing in recent years. That can mean a hefty deductible or having patients pay for a portion of each medical service, through copayments (a flat fee) or coinsurance (a percentage of the total cost).

Will there be any changes to our insurance plans? We can only hope for that. Until then, our community is thankfully blessed with some wonderful organizations that help pay out-of-pocket costs for those who can’t afford it to ensure that everyone has the ability to receive the best care.

“Some plans have a deductible of a few thousand dollars,” says Dr. Geraldine McGinty, professor of radiology at Weill Cornell Medicine and the senior researcher on the new study.

“There’s a greater burden on patients now than there 24

used to be,” McGinty says.

WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

(Source: US News, MedicineNet)

Huge

At Hamaspik, the heart is in the details

UPDATES

Part

6

in a series

Demystified

Myth: Hay fever is caused by the blooming flowers in the spring season.

Fact: Grass and trees are the culprits, plus more myths surround those irksome seasonal allergies, commonly known as hay fever.

One such myth is that hay fever, or any allergy for that matter, can’t develop once you reach adulthood.

According to Medical News Today, this is untrue. One study published in JAMA Network Open looked at the prevalence of allergies in 40,443 US adults, and found that in around half of those individuals with allergies, at least one of their allergies developed during adulthood.

Another fact that comes as a surprise to many is that hay fever, or allergic rhinitis, is not caused by flowers, but rather by airborne pollen. Flowers tend to produce large, sticky pollen, which does not fly through the air easily. They’re designed to attract insects and fasten pollen to their bodies rather than release it into the air.

The major causes of hay fever are lighter pollen from grasses and trees.

Ever wondered about the term “hay fever”? It stems from yet another expired myth: the condition is not caused by hay, nor is fever a symptom of the condition. In 1819, John Bostock, an English contributor to medical research, coined the term when he noticed hay fever symptoms as a result of what he thought was exposure to hay. A while later, hay was disregarded as the culprit, but the name remained.

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WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

. s t r a e H e g u H Small Details.

Moishy* hesitated to go to his therapy appointments at Sipuk Clinic, worried that his friends would find out.

Private waiting cubicles helped put Moishy* at ease, and empowered him on his journey of healing.

But it didn’t stop there.

Because at Hamaspik, small details reflect huge hearts.

To Do:

for private -Buy magazines waiting cubicles in waiting room -Restock snacks kids waiting area -Organize toys in ice home rv -Arrange car se y* ig for Fa

718-387-8400 • HamaspikKings.org Hamaspik of Kings County provides services, support, and hope to people with developmental disabilities and behavioral health challenges—and their families.

WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

27

FITNESS

THE NEW WARDROBE STAPLE

By Chaya Tziry Retter, RDN, BS, CPT Chaya Tziry Retter is a Monsey-based Registered Dietitian, ACE-Certified Personal Trainer, and group fitness instructor. She is passionate about helping others lead healthier lives in a way that suits their needs. She can be reached at 845-540-4487.

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WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

FITNESS GEAR THAT’S WHOLESOME AND PRACTICAL As the frum community’s health magazine, we at Wellspring are honored to introduce this innovative new addition to the frum woman’s fitness wardrobe. Aligned with our mission of cultivating a greater appreciation for spiritual and physical health, this new product ticks all the boxes. We wish Mrs. Eisenberger much success with her virtuous endeavor.

With the warmer weathers setting in, you may have noticed a change in how you feel and think. This isn’t just in your mind; research shows that our moods and emotions are definitely impacted by the weather. Often after the winter months, the new season and higher temperatures bring on a brighter mood. The sunnier skies, blooming flowers, and longer days put a bounce in our step. It has been scientifically recognized that levels of leisure time, physical activity, and physical fitness differ according to the seasons, with more activity generally happening in the summer months. There’s a sense of renewal, a fresh start, and a chance to revive old commitments—like that dusty gym membership, the expired local class, and the exercise clip you never tried out.

Along with your renewed motivation, you may need to update your workout gear, and now’s the perfect time.

A while back, I spotted an ad for a new garment called “Knicks,” a tznius skirt/knicker combo, and I was intrigued. Different than the traditional skirt with leggings underneath, this modest version of a workout bottom resembles a skirt but offers the coverage that knickers provide. The brainchild of Mrs. S. G. Eisenberger from New Square, I reached out to her to find out more.

In our conversation, Mrs. Eisenberger gave me some of the fascinating backstory behind the creation of Knicks. About 25 years ago, she and the women she exercised with would go to great lengths to exercise modestly. They would make sure to be covered almost from top to toe using anything they could move around in, including quilt covers. Fast-forward several years.

Mrs. Eisenberger wanted to restart an exercise regimen, so she joined a class. Times certainly had changed, and with them the modesty levels. She felt the responsibility to find a solution that would be functional, practical, comfortable, and aesthetically pleasing. A tough order!

Being the resourceful type, she started experimenting with different garments to see if she could create something she would be comfortable working out in, both literally and in tznius standards. She eventually put something together for herself and continued with her scheduled classes. It was actually the instructor of her group who called her out on a creative and innovative garment and encouraged her to fine-tune it and bring it

to market.

With no background in manufacturing or production, Mrs. Eisenberger reached out to a friend who owns a baby-clothing line and connected with her reputable manufacturer. Then, she set out to do some research and development. Fabrics and styles were tested by friends, family, and initial customers. She took all feedback seriously and perfected the style until it seemed satisfactory across the board, even spending hours at her own sewing machine trying to make her vision a reality. Finally, Knicks was born, and along came the accolades. Consumers loved it and the product was selling fast.

Her clientele runs an enormous spectrum, from older adults in physical therapy to young women hitting the gym, and now, with the newest expansion to her line— teenagers in gym class and after-school programs. It was actually a well-known school fitness instructor in Lakewood who urged Mrs. Eisenberger to include a child/ teen product in the line.

I was awed by her story and of course, had to try out Knicks for myself.

I found them easily in a local store in Monsey and I couldn’t believe how comfortable, cute, and tznius they are. I tried every bend, twist, kick, and stretch I could think of and was not hindered in any way. I was so excited because it was just around when I was set to give a live workout demo to the wonderful participants of Shaindy Oberlander’s PCOS virtual program. Full disclosure, I was plenty nervous about how I could maintain my modesty while on camera, and Knicks came into my life at just the right time.

You can wear Knicks inconspicuously under your everyday skirt without changing in and out of leggings, so you can transition into your workout regimen without fanfare. That means going right from carpool to the gym.

Or right from work to your personal trainer. Or even out for coffee to your local class.

How’s that for one less excuse to avoid working out?

To learn more about Knicks and where to purchase this product, please reach out to Mrs. Eisenberger at 845-502-6262.

WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

29

ASK THE NUTRITIONIST

Goals at Work

By Shani Taub, CDC

Q

How can I maintain healthy habits at the office?

I’ve been on and off a healthy eating plan for several months now, and I’m still struggling. I’ve noticed that I primarily trip up at my workplace. Between mindless bingers around me, extravagant lunches every two weeks or so, and no time to properly prepare, I feel like I’ve failed before I even begin. Is it possible to maintain healthy habits when the environment doesn’t espouse those goals? What tips and ideas can you share that will help me overcome my struggles at work?

I like your question because it extends far beyond the workplace. Everyone on a weight-loss journey will encounter obstacles that make reaching their goal a struggle. For some, it’s a stressed morning with the kids or coming home exhausted with no energy left to prepare a nourishing meal, and for others it’s the unstructured weekends or social eating at events and simchos.

Here’s something to keep in mind: Whenever we ascribe fault to a certain circumstance, time, or place, it’s essentially the brain trying to finagle its way out of what it perceives as too challenging. This isn’t a sentiment that feels good to hear, but if we absorb it with an open mind, we’ll realize how true it is—and that will ultimately help us achieve what we’re really aiming for.

It’s easier to say, “My workplace is just not conducive to dieting” or “I have too many simchos this season to take 30

WELLSPRING / APRIL 2023

control of my eating habits,” than to work on said habits.

As with everything else in life, if we’re looking for excuses, we will find them, and if we’re serious about making change, no excuse will stand in the way.

Thus, my advice to you is a suggestion to make that mindset switch and start telling yourself a different narrative. Sure, setting goals and reaching them is usually a journey of easier days and harder ones. It’s certainly not easy to keep at what you’re doing when there are various temptations, such as the ones you describe, in your environment. Working on our habits is so much about being in the right environment, and when this variable is not in our favor, it definitely is more difficult. But it’s not impossible. With confidence and a commitment to your resolutions, you’ll find a way to make it work—even at work.

Toward this end, it’s helpful to remain mindful of why you’re doing what you’re doing and how the various obstacles that come up along the way will only hinder you from attaining what’s exponentially more beneficial to you. This also entails making sure that your weight-loss goals aren’t extreme or unhealthy. Once you’ve ascertained that your endeavor is really good for you, you can view your “temptations” with more presence of mind. That extravagant lunch may taste good in the moment, but what kind of impact will it have on your goals? How will constant par-

tying and mindless eating influence your health?

These are all questions to consider, ideally before the temptation hits, so that you’re armed with more clarity regarding the right choice.

Here are some practical ways for you to set yourself up for success, with the help of Hashem.

The first thing you can do to make your environment more conducive toward your endeavor is to prepare your meals in advance. Just as you prepare your kids’ lunches so they can take a nutritious meal to school, you need to prepare your own meals ahead of time. Most of us don’t spend the time taking care of our needs in the same way we would for someone else, but there’s too much fallout as a result. Carve out the time you deserve so you can nourish yourself properly every day.

If you find the catered lunches more tempting, and they’re not healthy enough for you to partake in, invest that extra effort to make your lunches appealing to you. Prepare a flavorful salad, a refreshing fruit smoothie, or bake healthy cookies.

Alternatively, treat yourself on those days to a store-bought meal that does fit your nutritional requirements.

Also, be mindful of eating your meals on time instead of answering “just another few” emails before your lunch break. You don’t want to hit your point of hunger and then eat mindlessly and excessively. Enjoy your meals before you reach your point of hunger and make the proper choices when you’re not yet so hungry.

Having a routine is also extremely conducive to maintaining healthy habits. Make an effort to stick to similar mealtimes every day. Once your system is set in place, you’ll find it harder to veer off it.

When there’s a party going on and you’re tempted to partake in the foods offered there, don’t deprive yourself. Treat yourself in a smart way so that you don’t feel resentful. Whether you enjoy your own baked goods or find foods that work for you, anything is better than building up resentment toward what’s essentially a most positive endeavor.

Most importantly, remember that you have what it takes to succeed. Be confident with your changes and know that by taking care of your health, you’re giving yourself something way better than the short-lived pleasure of good-tasting food..

Back on Track How to reclaim those healthy habits With the beautiful Yom Tov of Pesach behind us, our “After Pesach To-Dos” are currently in the spotlight. If weight loss or brushing up your healthy habits is on that list for you, here are some insights.

First, the season of spring is an ideal time for effective change. The weather is (hopefully) glorious while most of us are still in a routine, unlike in the summer months.

So how do you maximize these days? Let’s start with what not to do. Do not start any fad diet. These don’t work, and even if they do, they’re never a long-term solution. Fasting, detoxes, or eliminating food groups are rarely effective.

If you’re considering taking extreme measures, you’re best off not focusing on your short-term goal. Rather, use this opportunity to make some long-term health changes. If you plan smartly, you’ll likely be more successful at maintaining those long-term changes.

Consulting with a certified nutritionist or dietitian is an excellent first step toward ascertaining what’s right for you, but here are some effective habits you can implement on your own. ▶ With the weather warming up, outdoor exercise becomes an excellent option. Carve out just half an hour at least three times a week for a brisk walk, and you’ll feel so much better. ▶ If you’re not looking to lose weight, but you’re just trying to get back on track, focus on increasing your water and vegetable intake, cutting out refined and unnecessary carbs, and eating more protein. These basic eating guidelines will make you feel better in just a short time. ▶ Most importantly, remember that every day is a new start, a new opportunity to make smart choices.

Keep in mind that a negative attitude toward yourself will only keep you stuck. Berating yourself for poor choices over Yom Tov or wallowing in guilt over what was will only foster a negative state of mind, which is not conducive to a healthy start. Rather, focus on the right now, how the right choices will enable you to feel better in the present and future. You can do this!

Please send your questions to the nutritionist to info@wellspringmagazine.com.

Shani Taub, CDC, has been practicing as a certified nutritionist in Lakewood for almost a decade, meeting with clients in person and on the phone.

She also owns the highly popular Shani Taub food line, which carries healthy, approved, pre-measured foods and delicacies sold at supermarkets and restaurants.

WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

31

ALTERNATIVE VIEW

BY FAIGY SCHONFELD

UTI URINARY TRACT INFECTIONS ARE AWFUL, PAINFUL, AND HIGHLY IRRITATING, AND MORE THAN 50 PERCENT OF WOMEN KNOW WHAT THEY’RE ALL ABOUT. IN FACT, UTIS ACCOUNT FOR NEARLY 25 PERCENT OF ALL INFECTIONS IN WOMEN. THE CONVENTIONAL TREATMENT FOR UTIS IS ANTIBIOTICS, BUT WITH ANTIBIOTIC-RESISTANT STRAINS OF BACTERIA AND RECURRING UTIS A GROWING CONCERN, IT’S NICE TO KNOW THAT THERE ARE SIMPLER WAYS TO DEAL WITH THIS NASTY INFECTION. (UNCOMPLICATED UTIS SHOULDN’T STICK AROUND FOR MORE THAN A COUPLE OF DAYS OF TREATMENT; IF SYMPTOMS PERSIST, SEE YOUR HEALTH CARE PROVIDER TO RULE OUT ANY COMPLICATIONS.)

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WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

WHAT ARE THEY? Most UTIs are caused by bacteria getting into the urinary tract, but they can also be caused by fungi and viruses in some cases. Contrary to popular belief, UTIs can happen anywhere in the urinary tract, including the kidneys. (A UTI in the kidneys is usually more severe; thankfully, they are also much less common.)

Symptoms of a UTI vary depending on the location of the infection. If a UTI occurs in the lower urinary tract, there’s usually inflammation and pain when urinating, frequent urges to go, and cramps. A UTI in the upper urinary tract tends to present with fever, chills, nausea, and back pain. Kids don’t always notice symptoms, so watch out for cloudy or foul-smelling urine. For those prone to UTIs, pregnancy often exacerbates the issue.

DRINK TO YOUR HEALTH Drinking plenty of water throughout the day should be the first step in treating a UTI to flush bacteria out of the system. Also, drinking enough water helps the body retain nutrients. According to a 2013 study from the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center at Dallas, UTI infections may be linked to being chronically low on fluid. Aim for 6–8 (8-ounce) glasses of water every day.

If that wasn’t convincing enough, proper hydration also helps boost energy levels, promote weight loss, relieve headache symptoms, and prevent kidney stone formation.

WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

33

ALTERNATIVE VIEW

CRANBERRY JUICE Cranberry juice is a popular treatment for UTI infections—and for good reason. A study published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition shows that drinking cranberry juice regularly (at least 8 ounces daily) could reduce urinary tract infections in women who’ve suffered from them previously by as much as 40 percent. The study also indicated that this could reduce the need for antibiotics worldwide.

Cranberries have antioxidant, anti-inflammatory, and antibacterial effects against bacterial infections. Antioxidants also aid in clearing out infections quickly, allowing the body to recover. Additionally, cranberries are beneficial for supporting the gut microbiome and the immune system, as well as protecting the cardiovascular system.

There are currently no set guidelines regarding how much cranberry juice should be taken as a UTI treatment, but as per most recommendations, it’s advisable to drink 400 milliliters of at least 25 percent pure cranberry juice daily.

AND NOW, EAT A good start is to load up on vitamin C–rich foods or take a supplement. Vitamin C reacts with nitrates in the body and produces nitrogen oxide, a substance that helps eliminate bacteria. It also makes urine more acidic, inhibits the growth of bacteria, and enhances immune function. A 2007 study found that a daily intake of 100 milligrams of vitamin C during pregnancy reduced urinary infections over a three-month-period. However, if you’re currently dealing with a UTI, take up to 6,000 milligrams of vitamin C. (Although vitamin C is non-toxic, too much can cause diarrhea.) Foods high in vitamin C include citrus fruits, peppers, strawberries, broccoli, and Brussels sprouts.

Once you’re doing good foods, include those that are a good source of probiotics. Probiotics help support the human body’s normal flora, which serves as a line of defense. These live, beneficial microorganisms promote optimal urinary tract health and may keep infection at bay by preventing bacteria from sticking to the urinary tract and competing with pathogenic bacteria for resources. Clinical studies show that probiotics can prevent UTIs just as effectively as conventional antibiotics. Try some fermented foods like kefir, kimchi, probiotic yogurt, sauerkraut, miso, pickles, tempeh, and kombucha. If you’d rather supplement, make sure your probiotic blend contains at least 10–20 billion colony-forming units (CFUs).

Garlic is another goody. Allicin, one of the active compounds of freshly crushed raw garlic, has a variety of antimicrobial activities. In its pure form, allicin exhibits antibacterial properties against a wide range of bacteria, including multi-drug-resistant strains of E. coli. Garlic also has antifungal properties and is particularly helpful in treating yeast infections.

Of course, getting plenty of vitamin D is always a good idea. Many health issues can be prevented or treated by adequate daily intake of vitamin D, and UTIs are one of them. Vitamin D helps increase production of special antimicrobial peptides in the body that prevent infection from harmful bacteria, fungi, and viruses, including the ones that trigger UTIs.

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REMEDIES D-mannose is a bittersweet, naturally occurring sugar found in cranberries, believed to be its primary active ingredient. Isolated D-mannose is up to 50 times stronger than regular cranberries when targeting UTIs. It can help both prevent the formation and accumulation of harmful bacteria in the urinary tract and allow the beneficial bacteria in the intestinal tract to flourish. A 2014 study published in the World Journal of Urology studied 308 women with a history of recurrent UTIs who were divided into three groups. One group received D-mannose powder for six months, the second received an antibiotic daily, and the third received no treatment. Recurring UTIs presented in 15 women in the D-mannose group, 21 in the antibiotic group, and 62 in the no-treatment group. Aside from significantly reducing the risk of recurrent UTIs, patients in the D-mannose group had a significantly lower risk of side effects.

Uva ursi (also known as bearberry) is an herb that has diuretic, astringent, and antiseptic qualities and has been effectively used to treat UTIs. As the urine must be alkaline for uva ursi to be effective, it shouldn’t be used in conjunction with cranberry juice, which makes urine acidic. Additionally, it must be taken in proper doses as too much uva ursi can be toxic (so for someone with a kidney infection, or expectant women, it’s best to avoid it).

The flowers and leaves of hibiscus plants contain potent compounds with antioxidant and antibacterial properties, plus hibiscus extract has a diuretic effect. This means it promotes the removal of excess water, salts, and other accumulated metabolic waste. For UTI prevention, have a glass of hibiscus tea. Hibiscus extracts are also available in tablet and capsule form.

Pumpkin seed extract contains beneficial fatty acids, which have anti-inflammatory properties, and they also support healthy bladder function. Natural health practitioners recommend taking 500 milligrams of pumpkin seed oil extract per day to avoid

UTIs. Try snacking on pumpkin seeds or adding a handful to salads.

Drinking baking soda mixed with water at the first signs of a UTI can quickly neutralize the urine and kill any bacteria living in it. Try mixing a single tablespoon of baking soda with water and drinking it several times throughout the day to prevent UTIs from worsening.

Studies published in Phytotherapy Research indicate that clove oil has antimicrobial, antifungal, antiviral, and anti-inflammatory properties. Another clove oil benefit is that aside from promoting healing, it may also relieve pain. Clove can be taken internally for two weeks at a time, but it’s recommended to do so under guidance from a health care provider or nutritionist.

Several studies show that myrrh oil has antibacterial, antifungal, and antiparasitic properties and it’s been used historically to treat wounds and prevent infections. Apply topically with a warm or cool compress or rub it into skin.

A 2012 study evaluated the antibacterial activity of oregano oil. Researchers found that oregano was active against all the clinical strains of bacteria that were tested, and it successfully inhibited the growth of E. coli, the bacteria most commonly seen in UTIs. Mix three drops of undiluted oregano oil with a small amount of carrier oil, then apply with a compress or rub into skin.

For prevention, it’s a good idea to focus on more of the above. Drink plenty of water, load up on cranberry juice and nutrient-rich food, use the bathroom as needed, and limit caffeine intake and artificially sweetened drinks. Also, try to relax (yes, UTIs can very much be a mind-body condition too) and get enough sleep and take some time to read and chat with friends and go on vacation…

Though simpler and better than all that, of course, is to ask Hashem to keep us relaxed, upbeat, and healthy.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. Please consult with a medical practitioner before administering any treatment or implementing lifestyle changes.

WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

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WELLSPRING COMMUNITY

Chronic Voice Issues

In this space, we feature a health-related question or predicament submitted by a Wellspring reader. Fellow readers are invited to participate in the conversation by sharing their tried-and-true advice and suggestions. Join the community!

My 12-year-old son’s voice often becomes raspy and hoarse. It’s painful and bothersome. Any ideas to help prevent and treat it effectively?

I would recommend seeing a competent ENT first. When my son was struggling with a chronic hoarse voice, a friend mentioned that she’d read an article in a local circular positing that this condition can be a symptom of small nodules on the vocal cords. I decided to check it out and, to my surprise, that was the exact diagnosis the ENT gave my son. He then had surgery, which cured the condition immediately. He hasn’t had any issues with his voice for over a decade. I later learned that surgery doesn’t work for everyone and that some people see success with speech therapy.

- Ruchy M., Linden 36

WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

My son developed a terribly raspy voice after a flu, and we simply couldn’t get rid of it. We then took him to a speech therapist, who taught him how to use the stomach muscles when talking, and that finally helped. I still don’t know why the flu left him with such a voice, but the speech therapy sessions and exercises definitely helped.

- M. Koenig

I’m not sure what can help you prevent it, but when my husband gets hoarse, I boil a pot with water and add some drops of peppermint essential oil. He covers his head with a towel and inhales the scent of the boiling hot water with the oil. This unclogs the system and clears the throat. He also drinks apple cider vinegar with honey (I know, the taste is awful—but honey helps sweeten it) and it’s been really effective.

- S. Raab, Boro Park

- Bracha B., Yerushalayim

My daughter had a hoarse voice for months. I checked it out by her doctor, but we couldn’t find anything that was triggering it. We hoped it was just a matter of abusing her voice in camp the previous summer. Then, I noticed she had a tooth abscess that was causing an infection in her gums. We had the abscess removed and, incredibly, the hoarseness disappeared. The dentist explained that any infection in the oral cavity can cause hoarseness. Just sharing my experience in case it can help you.

I once suffered from a terrible case of hoarseness for several weeks. As a teacher, this was extremely difficult and annoying. I saw an ENT, but he didn’t see anything that could have been bothering my vocal cords. After lots of sleep and taking care of a personal matter that was causing me a lot of stress, my voice finally returned. Seems like sleep and stress are key factors in so many issues we face! The ENT did tell me I need to be careful not to strain my voice, both speaking too loudly and whispering (which was interesting to me, but he said whispering is equally straining).

He also said I shouldn’t start talking as soon as I feel my voice come back as this prevents the cords from healing completely.

Baruch Hashem, the period passed, and I got back my voice. I’m very grateful for that as a neighbor of mine damaged her vocal cords permanently because she didn’t use her voice properly.

These days, I try not to take my voice for granted and thank Hashem every day for my loud and clear voice. It’s so important to allow the vocal cords to heal properly.

- Leora S., Woodmere

- M. Gold, Monroe Salt is known to help with the mucus that is often the cause of hoarseness. He can gargle with saltwater every couple of hours. If that’s not an option, cook a very salty chicken broth and have him drink it often.

Can it simply be that his voice is changing? Many boys experience a change of voice at this age. Learning some simple speech exercises can help him deepen the voice properly and make sure it doesn’t get raspy. I’ve also heard of children who get nodules on their vocal cords during this maturity stage that go away within a few months. Allergies can also affect one’s voice. Seasonal allergies can inflame and irritate the vocal cords, so if he suffers from allergies, that might be related.

- M. Lipschitz, Baltimore

- Leah Rosenheim, Lakewood

A hoarse voice over a longer period of time needs to be checked out by an ENT. From personal experience, I would advise you to take your son to an ENT who specializes in voice disorders.

- Leah Toren, SLP WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

Please note: These suggestions should not be implemented in place of guidance from a medical practitioner.

Hoarseness is very often a sign of gastric reflux. The acid coming up from the stomach can irritate and inflame the vocal cords, causing hoarseness (laryngitis).

Does his hoarseness develop after he eats certain foods?

Try to take note if there are any particular triggers. If there are trigger foods, he may possibly have GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease). Encourage him to eat smaller meals and not to eat too close to bedtime. If reflux is indeed the culprit, a wedge cushion for when he sleeps can be really helpful. Definitely have it checked out by a general doctor or ENT.

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SHEDDING LIGHT ON THE GREAT DEVELOPMENTAL DEBATE

ON ALL 38

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FOURS

BY LIBBY KASTEN

IS THE TRADITIONAL CRAWL REALLY SO CRITICAL FOR DEVELOPMENT?

WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

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COVER FEATURE

THE ARMY CRAWL, THE TRADITIONAL CRAWL, THE SHUFFLE-BOP-HOP CRAWL, THE DRAGGING FOOT CRAWL. DOES BABY’S CRAWL IMPACT DEVELOPMENT LATER IN LIFE? OR IS IT JUST A MYTH LAID DOWN BY OLD-FASHIONED MATRIARCHS AND NEWFANGLED THERAPISTS? Baby Chaya was plump, playful, and absolutely adorable.

She sat on the floor without support, played with the toys placed in front of her happily, and made babbling sounds.

At eight months old, her mouth sported three razor-sharp incisors that were visible when she smiled or felt when she decided to have your finger for lunch.

In the summer, when she began exploring spaces other than where she was placed, we watched in fascination as our baby girl bounded around the house by bouncing in some sort of sitting position, legs spread out in front of her in a semi-circle.

However, with my penchant for getting to the root of things without procrastination, I was not ready to let this slide just like that. Where to begin my research? Passages from what I’d read on the topic rose to the top of my mind, replete with scenarios about the developmental disadvantages of skipping the traditional crawl. My Erev Rosh Hashanah brain went so far as to dredge up the memory of a conversation with a family member who had taken her older son, who was severely delayed, to a therapy center where he crawled on all fours to help bring his cognitive levels up to par.

Assuming this was a step prior to “real” crawling, we watched and waited for the transition. But even when the afternoons became shorter and the trees began swaying in the early fall breeze, ten-month-old Chaya still wasn’t crawling.

And yet, my baby seemed so okay, even smart. She was already responding to her name and interacting with her siblings on some level. My mind debated back and forth, “yes therapy” or “no therapy”? Was the propaganda about traditional crawling just hype?

Aside from her inability to support herself on her hands and knees and learn the traditional crawl, there were other factors that concerned me. Chaya’s wrists would hang loosely most of the time, and she disliked tummy time. She actually displayed excellent fine motor skills like getting tiny chocolate chips or beads off the floor, but her wrists remained in a newborn-like position.

In the meantime, Chaya bopped around, wavy locks of hair bobbing along with the rhythm to the amusement of all onlookers, except her mother. And, as I would soon find out, her babysitter.

Developmental Deliberation Of course, the experts known as family and friends said it was totally fine, even normal. So many children who are now healthy adults skip the crawling stage. Besides, low muscle tone runs in families—other than ours, of course— so why worry? Though my older children had easily met all milestones, I knew of many babies who reached them much later and were perfectly okay.

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One evening, in what must have been an uncomfortable phone call for her, yet such a relief for me, the babysitter called to gently suggest that I have Chaya evaluated for physical therapy. We discussed our collective concerns, and I hung up feeling validated and sure about my next step. Here was another adult, mother of a large family, who observed my baby for hours each week and also wasn’t in favor of “waiting it out.”

Ruling Out Underlying Developmental Issues After doing all the research at my disposal and then listening to what my heart was telling me, I reached out to a

local agency to schedule an evaluation. In the meantime, by speaking to many fellow mothers who shared their experiences, opinions, and concerns, I learned that skipping the crawling stage is a very common occurrence in babies, and its impact on future development is largely dependent on the root cause of the absence or delay.

Often—but not always—the inability to do the traditional hands-and-knees crawl is caused by a lack of balance, coordination, or cognitive and sensory skills. Therefore, if a baby isn’t crawling, and especially if other weaknesses in their physical development or play are suspected, an evaluation may be worthwhile.

Crawling and Baby’s Future “Crawling properly is a vital part of a baby’s developmental process,” Leah Gross, OTR-L and founder of The Therapy Place in New Jersey, explains. “Skipping the crawling-on-all-fours stage usually points to an underlying weakness with the potential to cause various issues later

on. For example, failing to crawl and stand when age appropriate seems to be a transient problem, but will very likely cause a child to struggle with alphabet formation, reading, and writing in elementary school. In the same way a baby coordinates their left and right sides to crawl, an older child needs to use both sides of the body for reading and writing, skills that require eye-hand coordination and midline crossing.”

In fact, for this reason, many kriah specialists nowadays focus heavily on midline exercises when working to improve students’ fluency and speed. It is their belief that by exercising coordination between the right and left side of the brain, students—even in elementary grades—will increase their ability to read faster. This is because reading requires the retrieval of alef-beis from one side of the brain and then connecting it to the nekudah from the other.

Crawling is perhaps the most effective exercise in midline crossing, necessitating coordination of both hands, feet, and the rest of the body, and that may be reason enough to encourage babies to engage in this movement.

Monsey-based physical therapist Mina asserts that many children do not reach milestones like crawling due to a deficiency in coordination, core muscles, or any other skill.

If left untreated, the child will usually learn to walk and talk and catch up with their peers by the time they get to school. However, their core weakness will remain under the surface, sometimes leading to challenges with handwriting and reading fluency, or a dislike of outdoor activities. This is because these children are forced to expend a lot of effort to execute daily activities that are easily enjoyed by their peers.

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WHAT ARE MILESTONES ANYWAY? Many mothers wonder if milestones are a real thing, or just another competitive edge to the never-ending rhythm of peer pressure. Leah Gross clarifies that if a child does not reach age-appropriate milestones or is not up to par with peers, it is usually a sign of an underlying issue such as poor motor skills, lack of hand-eye coordination, or sensory issues, all of which can be resolved or strengthened by a competent OT. It may be your baby failing to produce babbling sounds at 10 months old, your toddler unable to spoon-feed herself, your 6-year-old struggling to get into pajamas on his own, or even your anxious fifth grader. After medical culprits are ruled out, an OT evaluation is recommended.

TYPICAL MILESTONES

BY AGE 2: Builds a tower of a few small blocks, scribbles, turns knobs, brings spoons to the mouth, turns a few pages of a book at a time.

BY AGE 3: Strings four large beads, snips

The independent crawling movement also helps develop and enhance the body’s vestibular/balance, sensory, cognitive, and problem-solving systems as well as coordination by the following: • enabling independent exploration • establishing body and spatial awareness, as a result of maneuvering around the environment • compelling the use of problem-solving skills • guiding linear (left and right) eye movement (a vital skill for social and academic activities like outdoor sports and proper writing) • allowing for increased sensory input while moving around on various textures like grass, sand, carpet, and tiles Therapy?

When a pair of therapists evaluated my baby, I could only widen my eyes (and lips). The sort of questions they asked caught me completely unaware.

• Does your baby put toys in her mouth during play?

• Does she bang rattles hard on the floor while playing with them?

• Does she pass items from one hand to the other when reaching for more?

• Does she follow items she throws with her eyes as they fall to the ground?

with scissors, eats without assistance.

As they could observe on their own, the answers were no, no, and no again.

BY AGE 4: Rolls balls with clay, uses the

Of course, my older children had done these things by this age, but as a writer—not a therapist—I had not even realized to what extent Chaya was sitting or lying around with minimal physical activity or engagement most of the day. For instance, when she was handed a rattle, she shook it back and forth with the force of a calm wave of the hand in greeting. The therapist demonstrated what the shaking of a rattle should look like at that age, which I later observed on my own after a few sessions of physical therapy. At that point, Chaya was able to shake the toy fiercely, banging it on the floor and swinging it high up above shoulder height.

non-dominant hand to assist and stabilize the use of objects, can build a tower of nine small blocks.

BY AGE 5: Writes name, copies letters, cuts on the line.

BY AGE 6: Draws basic pictures, colors within lines, cuts out simple shapes.

BY AGE 7: Ties laces, writes on the line, builds with Lego blocks.

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Experts concur that proper hand control when crawling can eventually impact a child’s ability to eat independently, color in line and later form alphabets, and dress themselves.

WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

But when I was asked these questions at the evaluation, I realized that Chaya was barely raising her hands upward, past her shoulder. If she wanted to be lifted off the floor, she’d spread her arms out, palms up, right in front of her

waistline, and emit begging sounds.

At the completion of the session, the evaluators diagnosed my baby with severely low muscle tone and failure to cross midlines, plus a variety of other terms that went right over my head, and they promised to be in touch.

WRIST TONE STRENGTHENING EXERCISE

On her way out, one physical therapist was kind enough to show me an exercise that significantly strengthens wrist muscle tone (see sidebar). I implemented this routine immediately, and within days, even before I received the notice of approval for early intervention services, my baby was moving about the house a lot more, suddenly utilizing her arms in several positions.

• Lift your baby by wrapping your arms securely around their middle.

A Developmental Boost

• Lean over until the baby’s palms are touching a hard surface, like a table or floor.

• Ensure the baby’s waist is higher than their shoulders, so the body weight is on the arms.

• Keep the baby in this position for a few moments at a time, a few times each day.

Participating in the PT sessions was eye-opening and informative. I suddenly watched my daughter’s developmental progress from up close, and I am still in awe of the intricate beauty inherent in a developing human being. The way she responded to the simple exercises almost immediately, and then proceeded to actually crawl in less than three months, was unreal.

While closely observing our wonderful therapist, Annie, I learned early on that with young children, motivation, patterns, and consistency are key. Any intervention to strengthen core muscles must be done consistently, again and again, and the child will catch on and continue the pattern they’re taught. For example, physically helping Chaya into the crawling position and doing the right-left-right shuffle with her a few times had her constantly getting into that position and trying to shuffle on her own. Every time she did so, the muscles of her thighs, shoulders, wrists, and core got another workout, bringing her closer to the next milestone.

Clean Positioning Although many mothers find it more convenient to keep their babies and toddlers in a swing, seat, or carrier and avoid the worn knees, grubby toes, and filthy hands getting into just about everywhere and the bath, not giving babies enough time and space to explore the world on their own hinders proper development.

Allowing babies to get into a variety of (safe) spaces and experiment with different kinds of toys (and whatever other household items they find) around the house will speed up their physical, cognitive, and sensory development.

CHILDHOOD DEVELOPMENTAL DEFINITIONS Fine motor skills are skills that require the use of the smaller hand muscles, like using pencils, scissors, Lego, or Duplo, and opening and closing buttons.

Gross motor skills include everyday physical activities like walking, running, throwing, lifting, or kicking.

Signs of weak core strength in children: • Avoiding gross motor games and activities like climbing the monkey bars or playing outdoor sports • Difficulty focusing in class and at home • Inability to bear age-appropriate weight Muscle tone is the amount of tension (or resistance to movement) in muscles.

Leah Gross, OTR-L, can be contacted via Wellspring Magazine.

WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

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MY BABY ISN’T CRAWLING, DOES HE NEED THERAPY? ANNIE PETRELLI, PT The body is wondrously designed to develop in steps, from the ground up.

When a baby develops naturally, passing all milestones, he gets the perfect muscle strengthening, workout, and practice for future development.

When a baby misses a step, such as crawling on all fours, the question is whether there is a developmental weakness causing this. Not crawling or missing any other step may be a sign letting us know there is a weak link in the process. If so, there will likely be ramifications later, such as with handwriting, sports, or other coordination.

In such a case, therapy is recommended.

If the baby displays no weaknesses in any of the muscles and processes involved in crawling, their lack of crawling is more likely a matter of preference and will not have long-term physical effects on the child.

Another point to consider is that the workout the body get from crawling on all fours is very intense, and this level of exercising the core, shoulder, wrist, and thigh muscles is rarely achieved later on in life. It should therefore be strongly encouraged.

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NEXT STAGE Once toddlers reach the walking stage and hopefully progress from there to jumping, hopping, and skipping, there is very little opportunity for them to work out the core muscles. Encouraging kids to participate in outdoor activities like rock wall climbing and monkey bars, as well as doing the all-fours shuffle consistently can ensure continued strengthening of core muscles.

For children who are obviously dealing with a weaker, tighter core, some ways for them to work out those muscles include gym play, and games that involve bending over from side to side (leaning rather than squatting), such as stacking cups from one side of the room to another.

TRACKING THE IMPACT OF THE CHILD WHO DIDN’T CRAWL MOTHERS SHARE Rochel, 32: Two of my children did not do the traditional crawl. One dragged her feet to get around and the other did not crawl at all for a long time, and after trying for a while, skipped the stage.

Rikki, 37: I personally never crawled, and although I baruch Hashem did not have any real “issues,” I do have a hard time with right and left identification. Even now, as an adult, it just doesn’t come automatically to me. One of my children did not crawl and also had a hard time crossing the midline, which required a lot of therapy to overcome.

On the other hand, two of my children who did not crawl at all are the most coordinated kids I know out there. One of them didn’t crawl due to reflux, which made the position uncomfortable, and one of them due to a loose shoulder joint that he was unable to put weight onto.

I learned that there is often an underlying cause for not crawling the right way, but it isn’t always a reason that necessitates physical or occupational therapy.

This bothered me because I’d read so much about the developmental benefits of crawling and assumed they’d have issues later on with writing, handwriting, and brain stimulation.

In the end, I took the child for craniosacral therapy, which balanced out that lack.

Nechama, 25: My baby is currently crawling around with one foot stuck beneath him, in a halfway sitting position. I’m trying to teach him to do it the correct way, and I think he’s slowly getting it baruch Hashem.

It does bother me that he isn’t crawling properly because I understand that it’s important for a baby to crawl properly in order to develop their coordination skills, which are crucial.

Esti, 42: Each and every one of my children skipped the crawling stage, and there was absolutely no lasting effect on their development.

Rivka Leah, 31: One of my boys was very delayed with the crawling and walking stage. His therapist had us make a family game out of crawling, and all the kids were crawling around and mooing for weeks, pretending to be cows.

I would also lock him into the position between my legs.

Still, he did very minimal crawling for around two weeks. And I got a lot of education about the importance of the crawling stage for babies’ development.

Chana, 38: None of my seven children had a “crawling stage.” They all did some sort of hopping shuffle. When one of my kids was in that stage and a relative scared me about the effect on development, I took the child to our doctor. He said that as long as a child can crawl, even if it isn’t something they do for months or until age two, they’re okay. He explained that it’s about having the coordination necessary to crawl, not about building the muscle while crawling.

WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

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SAMPLE

SAMPLE

By Libby Silberman

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WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

Interventions for Adult ADHD This month’s Sample starts with a story.

Let me tell you about Rikki. She’s happily married, a proud mother of four, and works as a makeup artist, product photographer, graphic designer, plus moonlights on occasion as a party planner. Yeah, all of it.

She really is amazing at all of these things.

She’s highly creative and such fun to work with.

She takes jobs whenever she’s in the mood and takes really low fees. Her work is breathtaking.

I grew friendly with her around two years ago via a project we collaborated on, and we later realized we’d attended the same summer camp as teens, albeit in different bunks. Since then, we’ve been in touch. I love when she sends me completed projects—graphic design, photos she shot, and photos of events she planned. She’s so remarkably creative—she sees things differently than most people.

Sounds like the utopian artist to hire for your next project, huh?

With her permission, I’ll share the other side of the story.

Rikki can run late. She can forget to do projects. If the going gets tough, she can abandon her work for days. But when she delivers…wow.

The girl’s got talent.

She struggles with backend problems as well.

She doesn’t always remember to bill or follow up on bills, and her books are a mess. Sometimes she wonders if she’s making a profit—that’s how little she knows about her businesses.

If she’s in creative mode, whipping up multi-layer desserts for Shabbos or setting up her makeshift studio for a product photoshoot, Rikki can easily forget about her kids as they happily romp around the house, wrecking the place. She might make the most amazing desserts but totally forgot about making dinner.

Tuna sandwiches and omelets save the day, and she moves on with a sheepish smile.

She can forget playgroup carpool when it’s her turn, though her neighbor has taken to reminding her twenty minutes prior, something she simultaneously appreciates and resents.

In her family life, she’s an endlessly loving and patient wife and mommy, and an eternal optimist. However, she can get into a funk where she’s all depressed for a couple of days before she gets back to her usual upbeat self.

WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

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SAMPLE

If you know someone who fits, even partially, Rikki’s profile—candid as it was—you probably know someone with adult ADHD. Unless you have it yourself.

The awesomest gift, and a tough one, too.

Eventually, when every person in her orbit – including herself – was thoroughly frustrated, she sought a diagnosis, if only to give a name to the thing she’d been shrugging off for so many years. She’d sort of known this was it, but after yoyo-ing through omega-3 and focus vitamins and selfhelp books, she wanted a fix that was going to work. Simply put, she was relieved to be offered medication. Finally, she hoped, she’d be able to focus and get things done like the rest of humanity.

Ritalin was an entire waste of time.

The side effects made her miserable, and it hardly worked anyway. Her psychiatrist eventually prescribed Concerta, and the change was instant. She was able to have singular focus and stay regulated and relaxed instead of overwhelmed and anxious.

Others commented on the change.

Someone mentioned that she was more put together. Her neighbor stopped calling to remind her to do carpool duty. Her husband was impressed at how well she was keeping the house together. But she hated every minute of it.

While she was able to focus, her brain hurt. Her creativity felt squashed. To use her words, “I felt like I was squinting at something without seeing the big picture, but unable to look right or left. That’s how intense the focus was.”

Additionally, her appetite was very compromised. She didn’t feel hungry 48

WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

throughout the day, but as soon as the Concerta wore off in the evening hours, she would go on a binge, eating up whatever she found in the pantry.

For a long while, things flowed this way for Rikki. The upsides, the downsides; medication was her reality despite the misery.

At an appointment with her psychiatrist, she asked the doctor if there was anything else she could try due to the numerous difficult side effects of Concerta. She walked out with a prescription for Vyvanse. After a couple of weeks on Vyvanse, she felt much better than she had in two years.

It helped her focus without feeling like she was looking into a pair of mini binoculars, and it helped her get things done as well as regulate her moods and emotions better.

The downsides weren’t too awful— she sometimes had difficulty falling asleep and occasionally had to push herself to eat.

A major downside of this type of medication is that it doesn’t actually solve the problem; it “postpones” it. In other words, taking medication helped her throughout the day. It helped her manage her emotions, for example, but as soon as the medication wore off after 12 hours or so, she suddenly felt extremely anxious and overwhelmed. She spent many evenings experiencing the gamut of negative emotion, including frustration, helplessness, anger, and depression.

Eventually, Rikki sought ADHD coaching/therapy to help her manage her professional and personal life. Relief helped her find the perfect therapist, a woman with ADHD herself (of course, who else?).

Upon the advice of her coach, she tried journaling to get thoughts and

feelings out of her system (she’s a super-deep thinker and feeler), and started exercising regularly. Both helped, she admitted, as an adjunct to medication.

When her therapist handed her a book, The Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD, she was skeptical— she already owned a dozen self-help books—but she took it anyway. Could practicing mindfulness solve her ADHD-related issues?

And this is where I (finally) come into the picture. While I’d sort of suspected that Rikki had ADHD, she’d never told me any of the above before. Rikki and I were chatting on the phone (a rare occurrence in the email gen), when she mentioned she was reading this book that would possibly interest me, “maybe for Wellspring.”

She shared a little about her ADHD and how it impacted her, and how medication had solved some problems but created others.

Written by Dr. Lidia Zylowska, The Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD details an eight-step program to help the ADHD adult ground themselves via sitting meditation, thoughtful speaking and listening, and development of self-acceptance. The book is clearly written for the fidgety reader, with easy-to-read short segments and beyond-easy readability.

The book is accompanied by an audio CD containing ten meditation tracks for implementation of the book’s theory.

And now, for this month’s Sample: It’s about this audio CD—How practicing mindfulness aids adults with ADHD and the ADHD parts in a nonADHD adult…cause we’ve all been there.

The Theory Practicing mindful meditation can help adults with ADHD manage their thoughts, focus, and emotions.

The Experiment Rikki—this month’s Sample—was going to try practicing mindfulness using the audio tracks twice every day and let us know if it indeed improved her ADHD symptoms.

“But for real,” she assured me, probably thinking about the one bazillion projects she’d wanted to do in the past but which never came to fruition.

“You do that,” I told her, secretly wondering if there was any point in this.

“But don’t pester me about it. Let’s see how well I can do this myself.”

“Sure, I’ll keep off your back and you do your thing.”

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How It Went Over Two very silent months passed.

Rikki and I were in touch sporadically, as we usually are, and only via email. Living in a different time zone also helped me stay out of her hair.

After two months, she finally emailed me, “Okay, I think I’m ready to talk,” with a bunch of emojis I had no clue how to interpret.

On our call that evening, she shared how it went.

“For starters, the book. I didn’t read every word and skipped around, but I got the basic gist of it. The main part was the CD. I saved the CD to my iPod, and twice a day, I sat down to do a track or two. The tracks were nothing major; a body scan, observing my thoughts as if they were clouds, stuff like that. These things sound straightforward and easy, but trust me, it took every shred of willpower to get through them every day at first. My mind would wander off and I’d start fiddling with my phone and the couch and my sweater and whatever I could get my hands on. Eventually, it got easier to follow.

“I’m not sure how to explain it, but I’d describe the experience as kind of like a reset button. I got off the couch from each mindfulness session like I was waking up from a cozy nap.

All the deep breathing trained me to breathe differently. I wasn’t so ‘all over the place’ and overwhelmed as always. Sounds funny to say it, and I can’t believe I signed up for sharing this with you, but it’s working.

“And after four weeks, I did some50

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thing sneaky. Maybe I shouldn’t have, but the deed is done and I’m happy it is: I started cutting the pill. I cut off a quarter at first, and taking only three-quarters of the dose, and I felt zero difference whatsoever.”

I got a little apprehensive when I heard Rikki was messing with her meds without the consent of her doctor, but I held me tongue. After all, I didn’t recall camp-Rikki being very good with authority figures. Not funny.

“Anyway,” she said after a pause.

“Three days ago, I started cutting the pill in half. Then I was at least able to enjoy both halves on two separate days.” She laughed, “Who knows?

Now I can start selling my spare pills on the black market, kidding not kidding.

“This morning, I called my psychiatrist to make sure it’s okay to play around like this. Not to pasken for anyone else, but she said it’s totally fine for me to do it.

“Soooo, yep. Practicing mindfulness has helped me so, so much. It’s the most amazing thing ever. I don’t think I ever mentioned it, but the meds never let me get into that wild creative mode. I was feeling dryer on meds, and somehow, this mindfulness thing brought back the joys. Not wild, unhindered creativity, but a deep kind of creativity. I dunno, maybe we can even call it a spiritual creativity?

Don’t laugh at me please.”

“I won’t, I won’t.”

“You’re changing details, right? My

kids need shidduchim eventually,” she chuckled.

“Yup, no one will ever know this was you. I’m writing all of this down now but will switch the details. Let’s talk in a couple of weeks, and see if you can keep this up in the long term and what happens,” I said before we hung up.

Then Purim happened, and with Pesach hot on its heels, I didn’t speak to Rikki for another two months plus.

When we were finally in touch, Rikki sounded excited to talk.

“I have a lot to tell you, and over the past few weeks, I started jotting notes in an email draft so I wouldn’t forget to tell you anything,” she said.

Here’s what happened to her.

In the hectic days leading up to Pesach, she accidentally forgot to take meds on more than one occasion. Get this—she felt no difference whatsoever! It was huge; she was able to run a household and manage her four children, chores, and her projects without anxiety, overwhelm, or feeling all over the place. “When I realized I wasn’t feeling a significant difference without meds, I pretty much quit taking them. I hardly felt any different.

And I made Pesach!” Rikki’s pride was unmistakable.

She still made it her business to practice mindfulness every single day, sometimes only once a day.

“I feel like I’m in the driver’s seat of my life. I’m in charge, not my ADHD. I can tap into the advantages that come with ADHD, while managing

the downsides as well, using mindful meditation. I can access my positive energy, patience, and creativity and work with myself not to get lost.”

On medication, both the downsides and the upsides of ADHD are squashed, she explained. “Practicing mindfulness is a much healthier and more effective way of relaxing, focusing, and calming down. Of course, this is not for everyone across the board. There are certain things that mindful meditation can’t do, like shortcutting me to emotional regulation. Also, I still for the life of me cannot sit for a stretch of time, cannot focus on a long shiur, cannot read long stretches of text if it is not totally fascinating. But as long as I can manage my current life this way, and no one is affected by it, I can keep going this way. I don’t think this would have helped me back in my school days, but as a wife, mother, and a creative person, mindfulness helps me way more than meds. Especially the creative part.

“You remember how crazily stressed out I used to get from my work projects when the going got tough. I’d lose it. I would just check out of life. Now, my twice-a-day session helps me reboot and move forward. Not that it’s easy to do the mindfulness thing,” she repeats, lest I think it was easy for her.

“And I just had a phone session with my psychiatrist, and she’s fine with this as well.”

“I want to sum up my experience by saying that my life is not perfect now, and in some ways it’s probably harder than without the medication. But it’s okay this way. If anyone wants to try it, they should first practice being okay with their life not being perfect all the time, by letting go and allowing negative emotion and overwhelm to surface.”

“Mindfulness is just as much about returning to the breath as staying with the breath.

This returning, or re-shifting of attention, counteracts the mind’s natural tendency to wander and trains awareness and focus.”

Dr. Lidia Zylowska

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SAMPLE

Results Written by Rikki I’m just so happy these days. My husband is in total disbelief over my transformation.

Here are some thoughts about this experiment: -No more trying to get early med refills before traveling to Eretz Yisrael each Sukkos and before summer vacation upstate.

-I used to have digestive issues—cramping, bloating, discomfort—and all that is gone. I’m not sure if it’s due to teaching myself to relax and unwind via mindfulness or getting off meds.

-No more icky side effects like loss of appetite and headaches -I can be creative and calm.

-Doing mindful meditation last thing in my day makes me fall asleep fast. The recording literally has a hypnotic effect!

-I can breathe deeply and calmly—I can focus and approach my life from a place of calm and centeredness.

-Practicing mindful meditation is not easy at all, in case anyone thought it was hocus-pocus. It takes tons of effort on my part, but it’s so worth it!

-If you are an adult with ADHD or ADHD symptoms, please try this. You can start without any recordings, simply by taking the time to do mindful meditation.

There are many resources available online.

How Does It Work?

Mindfulness helps put you in the driver’s seat of your attention. It trains your mind to take control of where you want your thoughts to go. This book posits that adults with ADHD can retrain their runaway mind to improve executive function, plus reground to empower their ability to manage mood and emotion.

There are many theories about ADHD possibly stemming from trauma or situations in childhood in which the child wanted to run away, whereby the brain “learns” the behavior of escaping, of seeking drama for distraction. Mindfulness helps you slow down, to be okay with your current situation—boring, un/stimulating, stressful, exhausting, frustrating. It helps you be okay with unpleasant emotion, okay with being in low-drama situations, and living in the moment versus being trapped in guilt of the past and anxiety over future tasks and events.

It also helps hyperactive (without other ADD/ ADHD symptoms) adults calm down and slow down.

After reading the above segment, Rikki inserted another thought: “Shame is a huge emotion that comes with having ADHD: ‘I’ll never be good enough,’ ‘I’m such a failure,’ and ‘I mess things up all the time,’ are regular tracks playing in my head.

An ADHD adult is typically on an emotional roller coaster most of the time, and it can make you feel lost and depressed. Mindfulness helps you slow down and deal with emotions instead of getting sucked along with them.”

Libby’s Take: I tried practicing mindful meditation using these recordings myself. Although I don’t have ADHD, I found the meditations tremendously relaxing. According to Dr. Zylowska, a wandering mind is a universal experience that is not exclusive to individuals with ADHD. Most of the time, I listened to the recordings when I went to bed at night, and on many evenings, it put me to sleep (which is cheating the system, by the way). If you have trouble falling asleep at night, please try this. You’re so very welcome.

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53

SAMPLE

Try This Out Here’s a transcript of two random tracks from The Mindfulness Prescription to Adult ADHD audio CD. The actual recordings are slow, with lengthy pauses for implementation of the instructions.

The first track, “Mindful Breathing,” is fairly simple for beginners. It involves only physical sensations that are not uncomfortable for those not yet affiliated with presence and mindfulness.

Mindful Breathing In this first formal meditation practice, you’ll be training yourself to focus and monitor your attention toward the sensations of your breath. In the process, you will also learn to catch yourself when distracted. I will guide you to this practice as sitting-down meditation. However, if restlessness makes it difficult for you to sit, feel free to practice awareness of the breath while walking slowly.

Find a relaxed and comfortable sitting position, either on the floor using a cushion for support or in a chair. Keep your back upright and relaxed, as if you’re sitting in a posture of dignity. Place your hands on your lap or on your side. Close your eyes or keep them half closed and resting in one spot. Set an intention to practice focusing on the breath for the next few minutes. Take a deep breath, and allow yourself to simply rest in the present moment. Let your usual preoccupations or a need to do something else fall into the background. Focus on your breath in one spot—either at your nostrils, chest, or belly. Bring your full attention to the breath. Notice the natural flow of air coming in and going out. We will practice this in silence for a few minutes. Remember, if your mind wanders off one hundred times, gently bring it back one hundred times.

Where is your attention right now? If you noticed that your mind has wandered off to sounds outside or to your thoughts, that’s okay. Simply and gently remind yourself of your intention and return to the breath. Practice being kind to yourself, don’t judge your experience as good or bad. Simply be curious about how your mind works.

As we end this meditation, offer yourself some appreciation for taking the time to pause, for training your attention and awareness and connecting more fully with yourself in the present moment. (Ding!)

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Mind Like a Sky In this practice, you’re invited to watch or witness the flow of your thinking. Instead of being caught up in it, you’ll practice observing your thinking as an ever-changing stream, similar to watching clouds float across the sky.

Sit comfortably and close your eyes. Become grounded in the present moment by noticing your breathing. Relax your body. When you feel settled, bring to mind a spacious blue sky with white clouds floating across it. As you bring the image to your mind, see if you can sense your awareness as being like the blue sky, fast and spacious, and larger than the passing clouds. With such spacious awareness, you can watch your thoughts and feelings as if they were clouds coming and going.

As you watch your thinking, see if you can label your thoughts and feelings without personalizing them. For example, “Oh, there is worry,” “sadness,” “remembering,” and judgmental thought, a memory, or an image. Notice that like clouds, your thoughts may go by quickly or slowly. They may be linked with each other or floating separately. They may appear light and fluffy or dark and heavy.

As you do this practice, it is easy to get lost in thinking, to go into the clouds of thoughts and become enveloped with their content. Whenever that happens, become aware of your breath and reground yourself in the present moment. Then, return to watching your mind.

As you watch your thoughts flow, see if you can sense the space between them. The space of open awareness is the place where you can observe your mind without being pulled by it. It is the space from which you can note thoughts or feelings but choose to not act on them.

We’ll do this in silence for a minute or so.

End by giving yourself some appreciation for taking the time to pause and notice your thinking from a new perspective.

(Ding!)

Other tracks in this CD include Body Scan, a meditation that involves listening to one’s body sensations, and RAIN, a more complex mindful meditation that involves sitting and being okay with uncomfortable emotions.

Coming next month: The Adult ADHD questionnaire, and more fascinating insights on the subject.

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MEDICAL SAGA

CHANGED CHILD

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HOW HAD WE MISSED OUR SON’S IMPAIRMENT?

BY LEAH KATZ I removed the note from nearly three-year-old Mayer’s briefcase and rolled my eyes. PTA conference for nursery boys. What would they discuss, table manners and nap-time obedience?

Indeed, it would take a while for us to appreciate that meeting.

“The teacher thinks Mayer doesn’t hear well,” my husband pronounced upon his return from the conference the following week.

He set his hat down on the table, then continued. “When the class transitions from one activity to another, he doesn’t move along with the rest of the class. The rebbi doesn’t believe he’s intentionally ignoring orders. It appears to him that Mayer doesn’t hear the announcement at all.”

I pulled out a chair and sat down heavily, abandoning the dish towel from my hands. Our son had a problem. This was serious. Surely, the wet dishes could wait.

Mayer, our eldest, had always been unusually obedient and calm. Since he was a baby, everything about him was slow and peaceful. He ate and slept nicely, played happily with toys on his own, and could sit on my lap or in the stroller for long stretches of time without becoming edgy. As a new mother, this was a blessing I could only fully appreciate when my next baby came along.

Now, my appreciation for Mayer’s compliance suddenly shifted. Was his conduct only a result of his being tuned out? Clueless? Had his laidback behavior been a concerning symptom we had missed all along?

I sighed. “What does he suggest we do?”

“Have his hearing tested. The rebbi had this with one of his own children too, and it actually turned out that the child’s oversized tonsils were the issue.”

Suddenly, the dots were connecting in my mind. It was a comment I always heard when a nurse or doctor looked into Mayer’s mouth during checkups and throat cultures.

Mayer has huge tonsils.

At our next visit to the pediatrician, I discussed the situation with him, and he agreed that there was no reason not to test Mayer’s hearing. With the slightest flutter in my gut, we made it a Chol Hamoed trip and headed to the nearby Audiology Center.

Mayer was barely three years old, and the test was lengthy and tiring.

Despite my cheering him on, and the colorful toys being used as indicators of his hearing levels, we were both grouchy by the time the session was over. Next, we were taken to an exam room where a woman pronounced his hearing to be perfect. She then peered into both his ears and mouth and advised we check out his tonsils.

“There is currently fluid in both of his ears, and you mentioned that that’s a usual occurrence,” she added.

I nodded. Mayer had never suffered from ear infections. However, whenever a doctor peered into his ears, he always found fluid there.

This was one of the few causes of irritability when he was a baby.

“Both his tonsils and adenoids

are enlarged, as well. I would have an ENT examine them and decide if removing or shaving them is necessary. Inserting tubes in his ear may be helpful, too.”

I nodded again, and thanked her, promising to follow up with our doctor.

We left, grateful that our son’s hearing was fine, baruch Hashem, but wondering what the next step would bring.

With a referral from the pediatrician in hand, I dutifully made an appointment at the highly recommended ENT for the following month.

This time, I took a slot during morning hours and accompanied Mayer myself. The office was close to our home, and I preferred to send my younger baby off to the babysitter and share the results with my husband later in the day.

In hindsight, the short-lived panic I was to endure there was destined for me alone; he would be spared the experience.

After completing the necessary paperwork, the receptionist explained that they’d be conducting another hearing test on-site, as they do prior to every examination. A large, ornate wooden train track set was set in the center of the waiting room, and my eyes repeatedly traced its paths, bridges, and tunnels while davening that the test wouldn’t be as exhausting as the previous one.

It wasn’t. Although a student evaluator introduced herself and joined the procedure, it went a lot faster and smoother than the first one. Mayer cooperated nicely, and my breathing began to slow down. Everything was

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MEDICAL SAGA

going okay—until it wasn’t.

“According to the examination, your son does not hear all frequencies of sound,” the technician announced, bangles clanking noisily on her wrist. Mayer intently followed their dance as he held my hand, clearly aware of their sound.

“We’d suggest he wears hearing aids for the time being, at least during school hours. It’s really not something you should view as a big handicap. Why, the device is not more visible than eyeglasses. They will help optimize both his academic and social experience.”

With that, she snapped shut the file in her hand, and held a stapled stack of paper out to me.

“Take this with you to the doctor.

You will continue discussing the options with him.”

I took the papers from her hand robotically and headed back to the waiting area. Thankfully, an acquaintance with whom I’d been schmoozing had already been called into a room, and I was left alone to absorb the shock.

I distinctly remember that an elderly woman stood at the front desk, holding her hearing aids in one hand, cane in the other. The device was so tiny, I noticed. Technology must have significantly advanced since the last time I’d taken a careful look at those I knew who wore them.

I looked on as my three-year-old, fresh peyos framing his face, followed the path of the train cars as they passed through the tunnel, and my eyes warmed. Hearing impaired?

Why hadn’t the first test shown these results? With a life of its own, my mind started racing as I pictured the life trajectory of my impaired child.

Stop it, I reprimanded myself.

Hearing aids are like eyeglasses, you just heard the woman say so herself.

Simple issue, simple to solve. Many people have hearing impairments, why can’t your son be one of them?

I shook my head hard, coming back

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to the present. I flipped my phone open and checked the time. Should I call my husband during seder? No, I decided. The facts would remain the same in an hour from now. Why ruin the last “perfect” hour of his life?

During those few minutes, I distinctly remember thinking about the people in my life who suffered from hearing impairments. It was humbling to consider how I had neatly grouped them into the “they” category all these years. And equally humbling to suddenly realize the judgment they were subject to in social settings, especially shidduchim.

It hit me that they were perfectly bright, normal, functioning children and adults who—similar to me with my eyeglasses—simply used hearing aids to help them hear well.

When the nurse called our name, I was relieved to finally escape my thoughts. The doctor, for his part, was a smiling, wise-looking man, seemingly unaware that my life had just taken a nosedive. He explained to my son that a tiny camera would travel down his nose and snap photos of the inside of his throat. With some discomfort, which Mayer handled amazingly, it did just that, and before long, the doctor was back with the diagnosis.

“Huge tonsils, large adenoids, both of which cause the fluid in his ears not to drain adequately. This, in turn, clogs up the ears, and similar to when surrounded by a sound machine, often have the child tune out of their surroundings.” He swiveled his chair to face me before continuing. “I would recommend shaving both his tonsils and adenoids. And while we’re in the area already, I’d also insert tubes to ensure the fluid drains properly.”

We discussed the technical details of the hospitals he practices at and surgical procedures, after which he waved us to the door with instructions to schedule with the front desk receptionist. One foot out the door, it hit me like a blinding flash between my eyes; the hearing aids!

“Oh!” I turned back to face the doctor. “What about the hearing test results? The technician said we should get—” He interrupted me with a dismissive wave of his hands at the sheaf of papers on his lap. “Never mind, disregard that. The technician obviously doesn’t know what she’s talking about; the results here don’t indicate any hearing issue.”

I dragged my second foot out of the room, letting the door swing shut.

I blinked, allowing the queasy feeling in my stomach to dissipate. Is this how suddenly the geulah would descend upon us? I walked back to the waiting area on unsteady feet, carrying renewed appreciation for the precious gift of hearing I had taken for granted.

July and August passed in a blur of sprinklers, sunshine, and a consultation with a highly recommended surgeon at Columbia Babies Hospital.

This doctor agreed that Mayer’s tonsils and adenoids should be shaved, but he did not recommend inserting tubes. His reasoning was that once the tonsils shrank, the fluid in the ear would begin draining properly on its own.

As we waited for an available date for surgery, I began noticing various symptoms related to enlarged tonsils that I had always dismissed as personality. Perhaps because he was our oldest, Mayer’s deep snoring as he slept and difficulty waking up in the morning never concerned me.

His constant display of extreme calm and obedience, to the extent that as Pesach approached, my older sister would laughingly remind me that when he was a bit over a year old, I’d cleaned my entire kitchen as he sat in the highchair with a pile of Cheerios and watched.

As the chill of fall set in, we finally scheduled the procedure for the end of February. Meanwhile, the new school year began, and Mayer moved up to the next grade. Again, as my oldest child, I enjoyed watching him

play with his toys and age-appropriate games, good-naturedly protecting his creations from his out-to-destroy little brother.

When kindergarten PTA came around, we wondered whether his rebbi this year had also noticed his lack of “hearing.” We had decided not to discuss it with him before the meeting, allowing him to reach his own conclusions first so we’d get an unbiased second opinion.

This time, my husband came home with a completely different perspective. “The rebbi suggests that Mayer would benefit from play therapy, or perhaps occupational therapy. He doesn’t seem to interact with the other boys at all,” he said. “When the kids play with toys, for example, Mayer will either build something on his own, or hand over the pile of Lego. He doesn’t have the skills to participate in a partner or group activity.”

Knowing this rebbi as a veteran educator, I took his opinion very seriously and began making inquiries about evaluations, modalities, and therapists in my area. Interestingly, when I mentioned my concerns to a neighbor whose daughter had had the procedure done to shave her tonsils not long before, we decided to put this conversation on hold until after Mayer’s surgery. This woman told me that her daughter, too, had social issues, and they simply resolved on their own after the procedure.

My husband let the teacher know that we were going to revisit his suggestion after Purim, when Mayer would be post-surgery and my sister’s chasunah had passed.

February came sooner than expected, and with it the date of the surgery. We hoped and davened that Mayer remain cough, cold, and sneeze free so the surgery could proceed as planned. Baruch Hashem, turning a blind eye to a slight cough, he did.

At the crack of dawn on a blustery Wednesday, we headed to the hospital. Thankfully, the pre-op went

ENLARGED TONSILS Tonsils may become enlarged after frequent or persistent infections, or they may be naturally large. A tonsillectomy may be used to treat the following problems caused or complicated by enlarged tonsils: • Difficulty breathing • Disrupted breathing during sleep (obstructive sleep apnea) • Recurring strep A tonsillectomy is the surgical removal of the tonsils, which are two oval-shaped pads of tissue at the back of the throat, one on each side. Once a common procedure to treat any inflammation of the tonsils, today a tonsillectomy is usually performed when the issue doesn’t respond to other treatments. Recovery time for a tonsillectomy is usually ten days to two weeks.

(Source: Mayo Clinic)

smoothly, and soon enough, Mayer was shivering in hospital pajamas, clutching his teddy bear. The doctor stuck his head into our cubicle to wish us good morning, and then we were off to the operating room.

Squinting in the bright lights of the OR, I held my son’s hand reassuringly as he drifted off. Then, with prayers on my lips, I was ushered out of the cold, bright room.

Baruch Hashem, the procedure passed uneventfully, and we were soon back home, sleepy child in tow.

As Mayer fell right back to sleep on the couch, the first thing I noticed was his silent breathing. I had always been able to hear him breathe from the bathtub while I flipped over the chicken in the kitchen. Now there was only quiet, and I found myself checking if he was breathing.

After the first day of drowsiness, discomfort, and arts and crafts had passed, we immediately noticed how significantly Mayer had changed.

On Thursday, the weather was mild, and I took the kids out for a walk.

As soon as we got down the steps and I stopped to speak to a neighbor, Mayer let go of the carriage and ran down the rest of the long driveway. I watched him from the corner of my eye, assuming he’d wait for me at the

curb. But, no, as soon as he reached the end of the pavement, he turned and ran all the way toward me again.

And again. And again.

I stopped speaking and stared. My calm, slow-paced son was running and running with seemingly unending energy, smiling widely each time he passed.

As the days and weeks passed, it was impossible to miss the incredible change. Gone were the snoring and morning lethargy. Hello, boundless energy!

To confirm we weren’t imagining things, the rebbi soon phoned.

“I don’t know how this makes sense,” he began, “but Mayer is a changed child. Forget what I originally said about play therapy. He’s interacting and cooperating with the other kids in a perfectly age-appropriate fashion.”

The surprise in his voice was evident as he asked my husband to explain exactly what had brought about this miracle.

“Shaving tonsils and adenoids?” he repeated. “I don’t know how that makes sense.”

We didn’t either. And so we thanked him, lifted our eyes, and thanked Him.

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59

SERIAL DIARY

are we

there yet?

As told to Libby Silberman

by Malky Sapir

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CHAPTER 6 Recap: Malky reflects on different ways that Batsheva’s CP and her divorce helped her grow as a person, pointing to her ability to connect and communicate with her grandfather suffering from Alzheimer’s despite his inability to speak.

I reentered shidduchim fairly quickly post-divorce but stayed in the ring for some time. In the two and a half years that I was single, I got many nos. Taking on parenthood of a little girl with cerebral palsy is no small deal.

Finally, I met my husband-to-be, Shimon, who was willing to welcome Batsheva into his life, fully understanding that there were no child-support checks arriving in the mail and how complicated her care was. Naturally, there were things I had to accept about him, too. He was divorced and had three children of his own. The children lived with his ex-wife, but he was awarded ample visitation rights.

Eventually, I would discover new definitions for the term “special needs.” While my daughter is the one in the wheelchair, these otherwise healthy children have a host of issues of their own. When they come for extended weekends, I literally stow away wall hangings, table centerpieces, and anything I want to keep intact for the future. My heart breaks for my new husband as he witnesses the state his children are in, unable to do much about it.

While my child has major physical special needs, his children have major emotional special needs.

Remarriage was a journey of its own, but the joys of finally being married to a stable, healthy, kind spouse has been worth all the discomfort the children have brought into the picture.

The unexpected gift card is likely the best example of the challenge of blended families. Three months after we married, we won a $250 gift card at a toy store at a fundraising event. I was thinking about Batsheva, of course. If I could get her something huge and cuddly, or a big sensory toy, or perhaps even a few “big girl” games that we could play together. It had been a while since I’d just bought something nice like that.

I was just about to mention this to my husband in conversation when I saw the cogs in his brain turning as well.

My heart fell, knowing exactly what he was thinking. He was contemplating how happy his children would be if he could buy them the electronic road set that was the latest trend. They would be so happy, and it would mean so much to my husband to gift his children with it. There’s this constant dance to navigate; will we spend money on his kids or my daughter? I struggle not be resentful that my daughter never gets anything from her father!

This question applies to anything in our life together.

Who will we include in our summer plans, who will we give attention to, who will join us for the Seder on Pesach.

The stakes are high, and we want to get this right for the sake of our family. With a tefillah on our lips, we’re doing the steps of the delicate dance.

A year after our remarriage, we were soon going to welcome our first child into the world. As the birth drew nearer, we discussed how we were going to prepare fiveyear-old Batsheva. In our circles, young children are not informed of impending news. However, Batsheva’s social worker from school explained to me how our case was different. Batsheva had so little control over her life—she couldn’t get herself dressed, eat most foods she dreams of because they’re too hard to chew, and couldn’t hold a pencil. She was in the grips of a body that allowed her no autonomy. With such a big change pending, it was critically important to give Batsheva the opportunity to feel as in control as possible.

At school, her class prepared an adorable book for her, illustrated with colorful pictures, that told the story of what was about to happen in the simplest of language. Batsheva especially loved the last page: “Batsheva’s mommy will buy a nice double carriage with one seat for Batsheva, and one for the new baby.”

The teacher read it aloud several times, and an ecstatic Batsheva brought the book home, where we read it some more.

When the baby finally arrived, the transition wasn’t easy. Batsheva threw the craziest of tantrums, wordless and mostly actionless. Healthy kids can express their resentment with screaming and hitting; while challenging, this can help them release their emotions. Not so with my little girl. Thus, her social worker encouraged me to be her “mouthpiece,” and help her say the things that were sitting heavily on her heart. Admittedly, it was one of the hardest things for me to do as it went against the chinuch I wished to inculcate in my children. As she wordlessly screamed, I sat beside her, uttering words I never thought would leave my mouth.

“I hate this baby!”

“Give him back to the hospital! We don’t want him!”

Her relief was apparent when I said these words. Finally, I had given voice to the storm she was feeling within.

However, as with all things, time and patience were the best cure, and slowly, we settled into a new routine. Several months in, Batsheva got used to the baby and showed her signs of love for him.

Finally, we were a family. Not only with your kids/my kid, but also with our kid.

TO BE CONTINUED… WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

61

DIY

d n a s Sinu n o i t s e g Con Oil

By Miriam Schweid

During this allergy season, many are suffering from headaches due to congestion.

This all-natural oil can help sufferers feel relief immediately.

1 oz olive oil or any carrier oil 20 drops eucalyptus 20 drops peppermint Mix well in a small glass bottle.

Oil should be massaged around eyes, on forehead, and behind the neck.

Alternatively, inhale its steam for better results.

Caution: Do not use on children. Avoid contact with eyes when using this product.

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WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

what a joy!

4 ways to inculcate the beauty of a Torah lifestyle into our children

EVER TOO YOUNG?

TANTRUM TAMERS

GILA GLASSBERG ON TEACHING KIDS THE INTUITIVE EATING PRINCIPLES

MIRIAM FRANKEL’S TECHNIQUES TO NIP THE STORM IN THE BUD

OT@HOME

Tantrum Tamers 4 calming techniques to nip the storm in the bud

by Miriam Frankel, OT

Whether a child has big emotions, needs to have things go her way, can’t tolerate a no, or becomes obsessively fixated on whatever he wants, most parents have encountered childhood tantrums by the time their child is three years old.

While often unpleasant, tantrums are a normal part of growing up as kids learn to regulate their emotions and responses.

As the parent watching helplessly while a tantrum evolves, remember that there are many other parents in your corner, and there are effective interventions you can keep at your disposal for times like these.

It is very difficult to reason with a child who is being unreasonable, so it’s a good idea to look out for red flags that indicate your child is becoming dysregulated—even jotting them down for future. This is the perfect time to encourage your child to use preemptive calming techniques to prevent the red flags from escalating into a tantrum.

Ice Cubes to the Rescue Prepare ice cubes or gum in the freezer for the moments before a red flag turns into a full-blown tantrum. You can explain to your child in advance that you may offer them these juice cubes or gum when they need it—not as a reward for negative behavior, but as a way to help them relax.

You can even encourage your child to approach you for ice when they start to feel that they might need it. In your preemptive conversation with your child, offer an example: “When you’re feeling angry because, let’s say, your brother looked at you in a way you didn’t like, ask me for this to help you calm down.” When the child reaches the stage where they come to ask for a regulator themselves, it means they’re learning to notice their feelings and to take care of them.

Intensity Fix Press down firmly on your child’s shoulders for a few seconds. Then slide your hands all the way down his arms until his hands, grasping them firmly and then sliding off them. Repeat three to five times.

Closer or Further Some children will allow their parent to hug or cuddle them to calm them down, while others need their space at all costs. Learn your child to know which one they prefer.

Miriam (Manela) Frankel OTR/L is a mental health occupational therapist, founder of the online platform ChildrenBloom.com, and The Thrive Group, with offices in Brooklyn and Passaic. ChildrenBloom.com provides toolkits for parents and educators to deal with struggling children. Miriam is the author of The Parent-Child Dance and an international speaker.

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WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

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‫סטעף ווערט ‡נ‚עפירט „ורך‬ ‫‡ונזער העכסט‪-‬‬ ‫פר‡פעסי‡נ‡לע „ירע˜ט‡ר‬

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‫‡ ‚ע˘מ‡˜ע פר‡‚ר‡ם ‡ונטער „י‬ ‫‚עטרייע פירער˘‡פט פון ‡ונזער‬ ‫ערפ‡רענע פר‡‚ר‡ם „ירע˜ט‡ר‬

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‫˘ליט"‡‬ ‫ מנה‬‫מ‡ן‬ ‫ל‬ ‫ר‬ ‫ר‬ ‫ו‬ ‫ח‬ ‫נטער‬ ‫ו‬ ‫‡‡ויפזיכט חנכ˙‬ ‫טע מ‬ ‫„י ‡רימ‬ ‫„י ב‬ ‫פון‬

‫ע‪.‬‬ ‫מר˙‪„.‬ס‡ן‬ ‫„עיווי‬

‫˙ו"י „רב"י ˜רי‬ ‫˙ יו‬ ‫חל‬ ‫‡ל‬ ‫‪65‬‬

‫‪WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783‬‬

‫‪CA M P‬‬

‫‪JOIN THE SWEETNESS‬‬

‫‪845-409-2000 // KATINA@CAMPMAMTAKIM.ORG‬‬ ‫‪I N T HIEN BT H‬‬ ‫‪E EA U‬‬ ‫‪T AI FU U‬‬ ‫‪BE‬‬ ‫‪T ILF URLE N O V A T E D H A M A S P I K R E S O R T‬‬ ‫‪RENOVATED HAMASPIK RESORT‬‬

‫‪FOR STAFFING OPPORTUNITIES ##11 TO SIGN UP YOUR CHILD #2‬‬

TAP IN

TAP IN

by Gila Glassberg, RDN, CDN, Certified Intuitive Eating Coach

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WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

QUESTION As a mother of preteens and young teens, I was wondering from what age I can introduce my kids to the Intuitive Eating principles. What would you recommend as the age range from which they could start to understand and follow this approach?

ANSWER

It’s interesting that you ask this question, and you’re not the first to wonder about it, because the entire premise for Intuitive Eating is really to bring ourselves back to the kind of eating we intuitively did as children.

In other words, it’s about reclaiming the way most of us innately operated around food at one point in our youth. In an ideal world, all children would naturally continue to make their eating choices from an intuitive place, well into adulthood. They would be able to listen to their hunger and fullness cues, just like that newborn baby who stops nursing when he feels full. When that hasn’t happened, the Intuitive Eating principles can help toward encouraging the healthy habits and cues with which we were naturally gifted.

So, to answer your question, my youngest client was nine years old when we were working together, and she was able to grasp and implement the concepts in a way that worked for her—which is at the core of this approach. There’s no age that’s too young for learning (i.e., reclaiming) these important principles. Most teenagers really understand them, and I’ve seen positive outcomes, assuming that the child is on board. Of course—and this is very aligned with the idea of tapping in to what feels right to us—there has to be some level of willingness on the child’s part.

Speaking of children, now is a good time to highlight some pointers regarding raising intuitive eaters. The best way to encourage kids to maintain habits from their wise intuitive place is to use the “division of responsibility” approach. (The gold standard of feeding is actually “responsive feeding,” which is an offshoot of division of responsibility.)

In a nutshell, division of responsibility proposes that

the parent should be the one to decide the what, where, and when of eating and the child decides how much and if any. Safe foods—foods you know your child likes and tolerates—must be served at all meals and at snack times. Also, food should be offered at regular intervals. For some children, that means even every 1 to 1.5 hours, especially when the method is being introduced. Clients have told me that they started offering their child food every hour until their eating regulated, which really helped the child to build trust that the caregiver would be offering food often enough.

One of the many goals of this feeding model is to expose our children to all different types of foods. Many of us have inadvertently created the type of feeding dynamic where, for example, a child really enjoys a food, such as salmon. Then, from one day to the next, the child refuses the food, and Mommy gets annoyed and stops cooking and serving it. Since the child is never exposed to salmon again, three years later, when they’re at a bar mitzvah, they will refuse to have salmon on their plate.

Thus, even if a kid turns their nose up a certain food, continue to have the food around. Put it on their plates if they tolerate it. Every level of tolerance is something I count as a win—whether the child licks the food, smells the food, tastes the food, or even holds the food.

Most important is to have a calm, happy mother raising calm, happy children. Thus, if a mother finds the feeding dynamic too stressful, this alone is worse for the child than any actual food. I recommend starting with small goals and building from there until a sense of calm is achieved around mealtimes.

Have questions about the Intuitive Eating approach? Send them to info@wellspringmagazine.com and Gila will be glad to answer them in this space.

Gila Glassberg is a Master's level registered dietitian and a certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. As a teenager, she was faced with constant diet talk, body shaming, and obsessive guilt around food, but now that she has found food freedom through the process of Intuitive Eating, she's eager to share its wisdom with others. Gila works privately with clients and she also presents workshops. The name of her podcast is Get INTUIT with Gila, and she writes blog entries on her website, www.gilaglassberg.com. She can be reached at 570-878-3642.

WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

67

INNER PARENTING

68

WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

by Shiffy Friedman

Sweeter Than

Honey

4 ways to cultivate a connection to Torah in our children through conversation

The gift, the sweet gift we’ve been cherishing for centuries— we’re experiencing its acceptance again come Shavuos.

Every year, on the sixth (and seventh) of Sivan, our neshamah once again experiences the incredible height of joy we felt at Har Sinai, standing at mountain, taking it all in. Besides for nurturing a vibrant inner landscape within, to work on cherishing Torah ourselves, how else can we help transmit a connection to Torah in our children? Moshe kibeil Torah miSinai, starts the Mishnah in Avos (1:1), “And he gave it over to Yehoshua, and Yehoshua gave it over to the Zekeinim…”

And since then, this legacy has been passed down, generation to generation.

First and foremost, the most powerful form of transmission is to live the message. The more joy and connection we feel when performing a mitzvah, in our lives as frum Yidden, the more of a positive approach toward a frum life our children will be’ezras Hashem have. How our preparation for Shabbos looks, the meaning we find in our our birkas hamazon, Modeh Ani, Krias Shema, and everything in between—that’s what they pick up on most of all. Then there’s the action-oriented angle. What doable steps can we take to make this connection to Hashem and His Torah come alive for our children, as well? More specifically, how can we bring the themes of Yiddishkeit into our conversations with our young children so we can fill their hearts with an appreciation for this exalted place in this world?

WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

69

INNER PARENTING

1. An Analogy Right There

2. See How He Loves Us!

At school, the teachers are well aware that kids learn best when we activate their vibrant imagination. With vivid meshalim, they bring profound concepts to life for even the littlest ones. At home, we’re surrounded by such reminders all the time. If we open our eyes to notice the analogies in life, we’ll find them all over in the messages Hashem keeps sending our way. Pointing them out to the kids goes a long way in crystalizing profound concepts for them.

Any time we feel a rush of gratitude toward any positive aspect of our life, from the very trivial like a good-tasting food to the weather to the joy of Shabbos and Yom Tov and everything in between, we can make a point of sharing our observation with the kids. “Wow, look how Hashem takes care of us—He made the line move so fast.” “See how Hashem loves us? He gave us such gorgeous weather today.”

“Thank You, Hashem, that the doctor said it’s only a small infection.” “Wow, what a delicious apple. He created this especially for you!” It’s through statements like these that we turn the home into more of a mikdash me’at, ushering more of His spirit into our home and their hearts.

For example, when we tell the kids they can’t have a certain food right now because it’s not healthy for them, we can finish off with this, “And that’s a mashal for when Hashem doesn’t want to give us something that isn’t good for us.” Older kids connect really well to these examples, which, our sefarim explain, is actually the reason Hashem created the concept of parents in this world: so we can emulate His ways of parenting and help children understand the concept of a Father who loves them most of all. As my eightyear-old daughter told me one night when I was tucking her in, “When you hug me like this, I feel so connected. It makes me feel not scared, no matter what happens.” What a conversation starter that can be.

The other day, my kids and I were coming upstairs from the park, getting into the elevator with the stroller and play paraphernalia. As I was about to enter, the doors almost closed—with me still in the lobby, and two little kids inside.

It was the handle of a doll carriage that stood in the way, saving the little ones from the fear of riding the elevator alone.

For younger kids, when we pass a construction site, “Wow, that’s such a good mashal! This is what happens when we do mitzvos, we build our Olam Haba.”

“That’s such a mashal!” I said to my eight-year-old daughter standing right near me. And she said, “So true! So true!

We don’t even realize how Hashem watches over us. They don’t even know what could have happened to them now.”

In the same way, I explained, Hashem orchestrates ways to spare us pain and disappointment time and again. He sends this person just at the right time, that solution, this opportunity—just when we need them.

Depending on the child’s age, finding analogies in this physical world and connecting them to the Real World helps cultivate a deeper ruchniyus foundation in our children.

This seemingly trivial incident served as a reminder of Hashem’s supervision in our lives, and because it happened before their eyes, it was one the kids were able to grasp and internalize.

3. Channel It Upward With their hopeful spirit and untainted purity, tefillah is another concept children can relate to quite easily. Every time an opportunity arises where Divine intervention is needed (which is always!) we can utilize the moment as a chance to channel our hopes and wishes Upward. First, there are the prayers for His help. “Let’s daven that this cake should come out nice and fluffy.” “Let’s ask Hashem to help us find your shoe/ that this kid should know his test/ that her headache should heal…” Then, there are the opportunities to daven for others. When a child sees someone who’s handicapped or appears to be in a tzarah, that’s a chance to channel it Upward. “Oy, we can daven to Hashem to help Him—and thank Him that all of us are healthy.”

Often, when a child turns to us with an issue that we have no control over (which is all issues!) we have an incredible opportunity right there to acknowledge our own powerlessness and teach the child how much more helpful and comforting it would be for him to channel his hopes and dreams Upward. “I’ll do my best to help you with this, but together we can daven to Hashem for His help. He’s the One who does everything anyway.” Even better is when we summon the rest of the family and ask them to join in with the tefillah as well. And then, there’s asking the kids to daven for us. That speaks volumes of our belief in them, in their purity, in the koach of their tefillos as tinokos shel beis raban.

The other day, my ten-year-old daughter said to me, “I need to chap arein this time to daven for [something she wants very much] because soon I won’t be under bas mitzvah anymore—I won’t be from the tinokos shel beis raban anymore…”

And that davening we speak of is all of one line—powerful in its own right. “Hashem, please send this person a refuah sheleimah.” “Hashem, please help Yossi do well on his bechinah today.” It’s these short, powerful moments of connection that facilitate so much bonding.

70

WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

4. People of the Books

We’re So Excited! For What?

Every child loves bonding with their parent, and most of them especially enjoy when the bonding happens over an engaging book. Nowadays, we’re blessed with a plethora of visually appealing, insightful books on a wide variety of Torah topics. Telling stories or learning halachos from such sources makes the learning come alive.

Every year before Shavuos, we hang a huge colored banner across our dinette wall. The lashon kodesh words, “Ki haTorah koleles kol hatovos sheba’olam,” (Ohr Hachaim, Devarim 26:13) are written in large, bold letters, with a drawing of a Torah scroll at the center. All around the Torah are flowers and on the top of the banner are the words “We Are So Excited!” Besides for the fun I had drawing this sign (the best part is my kids still think I’m an artist :)) we had such fun filling in the flowers with text of all the beautiful things in life we have because of Torah. Whenever the kids think of another positive way in which Torah impacts their life (each one according to their age and understanding) we add it to the sign.

In our home, we do a lot of learning at the Shabbos table with such books. My husband has taught even the really young kids hilchos Shabbos as well as hilchos berachos from a series of books that feature clear, engaging photos on every page.

Of course, contests and quizzes also go a long way in solidifying the information and putting them into practice, but books are a great first step. A visit to your local Judaica store will give you ample ideas for starting with your first learning project.

Inner Parenting Get to Work While this space usually takes a deeper dive into the parenting dynamic, focusing more specifically on the inner work we parents would benefit doing in a particular area of self development, this article takes a lighter approach and is more centered on practical, action-oriented suggestions. This change of style conveys a message about not only transmitting a connection to Torah to our children, but about cultivating that bond within, as well. Yiddishkeit, as we know, is a richly spiritual experience.

Our connection with Hashem is intended to fill us with so much fulfillment, joy, and pleasure. It’s about being mindful of His existence, nurturing our faith in His goodness, and so many other internal areas of development. But, and this is a big one, it is also a relationship that necessitates external action. To be a Yid at heart is simply not enough. We must do our part, as well—the practical, external facet of our service of Hashem, in order to be a true Torah Yid. True, it’s about forging a relationship, which is a deeply emotional, internal endeavor, but in Yiddishkeit, one important way to do so is through actually observing the mitzvos. Wisdom, the inner part of the connection, is exponentially important. But, as Rabi Chanina ben Dosa notes in Avos (3:10), “One whose deeds exceed his wisdom, his wisdom endures.”

Never Too Early While a child’s cognitive development only happens over time, and a young child obviously won’t grasp a deep concept the way an adult would, I learned from one of my foremost teachers in chinuch, Mrs. Tammy Karmel, that they understand a lot more than we’re accustomed to think, especially in the area of avodas Hashem. After all, when we speak to a child of ruchniyus matters, we’re speaking to their neshamah, an entity that surpasses the bounds of time and age. When I first attended Tammy’s inspirational classes (at that point, her illness of ALS had not yet progressed to ravage her faculty of speech), my oldest child was all but three years old. And with her encouragement, I started opening meaningful conversations with him—and my even younger daughter—on concepts like Hashem’s love for us, bashert, etc., bringing Him into our day-to-day discussions. It was an incredible experience to watch how much they actually absorbed. It’s never too early, I learned, to bring the knowledge and lingo into their consciousness. They grasp it in their own simplistic way, but they grasp it good and well.

Here’s a case in point. The other day, I brought home our first bag of nectarines for the season. The kids were excited to enjoy their first taste of this springtime treat, but the fruits weren’t yet ripe. “The produce seller told me this needs another two days or so,” I told the kids, “but we can always daven. Maybe Hashem will speed up the process!”

And so they did.

The next morning, it was the first thing they checked when they entered the kitchen. “It’s ripe!” the little ones exclaimed. “Hashem listened to our tefillos!” When my three-year-old daughter heard this, she came over to me and said, “Look how Hashem loves the Friedmans!

Now we can daven for other families that their nectarines should get ripe faster too.”

In addition to her work as a writer, teacher, and counselor, Mrs. Shiffy Friedman is the founding director of LAHAV, an initiative that spreads awareness about the pathways to connection, contentment, and inner peace through Torah. To receive her free thought-provoking messages on the topic or to learn more about LAHAV, please write to info@lahavinitiative.org.

For more information about her upcoming Zoom/telephone shiur on coming to Shavuos with more joy and appreciation for Torah, please write to the email address above or visit the LAHAV website at www.lahavinitiative.org

WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

71

WELLBEING FEATURE

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WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

283 ROCKHILL DRIVE, ROCKHILL NY 12775

845-409-2000#1

MAY 2023 / IYAR 5783 / ISSUE 88

Spring Vibes PLANT FOOD MY 3 TOP FRUITS AND VEGGIES

COFFEE, COFFEE EVERYWHERE MALKY REBRANDS THE HUMBLE BEAN

MAGNESIUM FOR BRAIN HEALTH

85 Rebranding: Coffee

By Malky Rosenberg

77 Spring Vibes

By Yossi & Malky Levine

74

90 6 Spring Foods

By Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD

82

94

SWAP

By Yossi & Malky Levine

Plant Food Wellspring Contributors

WELLSPRING / MAY 2023

EDITOR'S NOTE

Dear Cooks,

When winter is securely behind us and my eyes adjust to the sunlight outdoors, the first thing that hits my senses is the color—the explosion of blue sky, green grass, and even the colors of kids’ clothing and shoes. When I reviewed the Levines’ Spring Vibes, the first thing I thought was, Wow, just look at these colors!

Indeed, Hashem’s vibrant bounty, most noticeable at this time of year, is a great motivator for us to get into new habits that include lots of colorful and nutritious veggies.

On a different note, coffee is one of the rare things in the world that holds universal appeal all year round. However, it’s also something you shouldn’t try making for anyone else but yourself. It’s so personal; it’s almost like your own toothbrush. The precise amount of coffee granules, sugar, hot water, and milk—forget it, something will inevitably go wrong.

Personally, I like my coffee without any sugar and a couple of squares of dark chocolate. My toddler, who’s still home with me in the morning, has learned some really bad habits from my coffee drinking rituals, which includes the need to add chocolate to anything he’s drinking—or eating, for that matter. I literally keep a bag of chocolate chips handy to make him eat his oatmeal, farina, and even the occasional

scrambled eggs.

Whenever my older kids need coaxing to wake up and go to school, coffee’s the word. They genuinely believe—and by nurture it is—that coffee will give them energy to start their day. What they don’t know is that the coffee granules for their cuppas come from a jar with a green lid.

This month’s Rebranding speaks to that deep, cozy coffee love within. I tried the Coffee Turmeric Cauliflower Chicken for the seudah Friday night last week, and it was a hit. And while I haven’t tried the Coffee Protein Fudge just yet, it strikes me as concurrently quirky and appealing.

My personal coffee rebranding is in my cholent each week. I put a generous tablespoon or two over the cholent meat and it gives the entire cholent a smoky, deep flavor. My husband is known for hesitating before he eats the cholent: “Is the caffeine to ensure I’ll stay up to babysit the kids in the afternoon?” But of course, he ends up eating it anyway.

What are some other awesome things you can do with coffee? Please write to me with your inspo!

Happy spring,

Esther

WELLSPRING / IYAR 5783

75

ing c u d o r I n t e ry fi rst t i m e fo r t h e v EW N L L e L A h t A

WITH FILLED HEESE C CREAM

D LO A D E

WITH

J OY

Product of USA

Now available in the freezer section at your local supermarket

Spring Vibes Spring is the time of year when we get to enjoy the pleasant weather and the vibrant colors that surround us in nature. The scent of the fresh buds and greens awakens the senses and gives us that extra motivation to prepare something special for breakfast or lunch. We hope these ideas inspire you to create something special for yourself and your family.

Yossi and Malky

Recipes, Styling, and Photography

by Yossi & Malky Levine

SPRING VIBES

SunnySide-Up Hash Brown Waffles These sunny-side-up hash brown waffles are two of the best breakfast foods combined! They’re a healthy and nutritious way to start the day and can be enjoyed as lunch or dinner too.

Using the waffle iron to make hash browns means you use less oil, get a beautiful crunch on both sides, with a silky smooth potato interior. And you get all of this without having to flip the potatoes or fuss over them in the pan.

Oil spray

Accompaniments:

2 potatoes, grated

Egg, prepared sunny-side-up style

2 Tbsp vegetable oil

Sautéed spinach

1 clove garlic, minced

Cherry tomato salad

½ tsp salt

Raw tahini

¼ tsp ground black pepper

Fruit jam

¼ tsp smoked paprika

Feta cheese

2 eggs, lightly beaten

Preheat waffle iron and grease with cooking spray.

Place potatoes in a medium bowl. Pour in enough cold water to cover potatoes; soak for 2 to 3 minutes. Drain and rinse to remove starch. Squeeze water from potatoes by hand or roll in a clean kitchen towel to remove excess water.

Toss potatoes with oil, garlic, salt, pepper, and paprika in a large bowl until evenly coated. Stir eggs into potato mixture until well combined.

Spoon half of potato mixture into preheated waffle iron; close and cook until potatoes are tender and golden brown, 5 to 8 minutes. Repeat with remaining potato mixture.

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WELLSPRING / APRIL 2023

SPRING VIBES

Sweet Potato Gnocchi Ricotta Pillows This recipe was inspired by a dish I enjoyed a while ago in a restaurant in Yerushalayim. As soon as I tasted it, I knew I’d recreate it one day.

If you’ve never tried your hand at gnocchi before, don’t worry— the process isn’t hard. It can actually be a really fun project, especially together with family and friends. I used purple sweet potatoes because I was so excited to find them in my local supermarket.

After you’ve made the gnocchi, you can either freeze them to use for later, or boil and use right away.

Gnocchi 1 large sweet potato (1 ½ cups mashed) 1 ½ cups flour (plus more for dusting)

Mix sweet potatoes with flour, salt and one egg. Gently knead, dusting with more flour as needed, until smooth but not elastic.

1 egg

Divide the dough into two parts and roll out to ¼-inch thick rectangles (the width should be approximately 4-5 inches).

8 oz ricotta cheese

Place spoonsful of ricotta filling towards the right side of the dough, leaving a 1.5inch space between each spoonful.

1 tsp salt

¼ tsp salt Cream sauce 1 onion, sliced

Fold over left side of dough and press down around each mound of mixture to seal. Cut dough between each spoonful and tuck ends underneath to create individual pillows. Set aside.

½ tsp salt 1 tsp sugar 1 Tbsp olive oil 3 garlic cloves, minced 6 oz wild mushrooms, sliced 1 cup heavy cream 1 cup water ½ tsp salt Handful of fresh basil leaves

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To prepare the sauce, place onion slices, salt, sugar and olive oil in a skillet and sauté over medium heat for 10 minutes, until onions are golden. Add remaining ingredients and bring to a boil. Add gnocchi pillows and basil leaves to the sauce, cover the skillet, and cook for 5-7 minutes.

Serve immediately and garnish with pecans.

SWAP

SWA P

By Yossi & Malky Levine

A large, nutrient-dense salad is one of the smartest ways to go green.

But when it comes to choosing the healthiest salad base, which types of lettuce pack the biggest nutritional punch?

Not all leafy greens build a super-nutritious salad. America's favorite lettuce, iceberg, ranks the lowest in nutritional value across the board (96 percent water content does that!). Spinach leaves, on the other hand, boast nearly twice the recommended daily value of vitamin K, half the recommended value of vitamin A, and ample amounts of calcium and iron.

Prefer a crunchier base? A cup of romaine is a tasty alternative, with a huge dose of vitamin A and a variety of other nutrients. Or, for a mild but textured bed, red leaf lettuce is just 4 calories per cup, with nearly half of the daily recommended dose of vitamins A and K. As a general rule, darker loose lettuce and leaves contain more antioxidants and nutrients than the typically lighter-colored, more tightly-packed heads.

Baby Spinach Salad with Maple Balsamic Vinaigrette The beauty of this salad is its simplicity.

It takes just minutes to prepare and is a perfect healthy side with dinner on a busy night. Simply combine fresh spinach with a homemade balsamic vinaigrette and add some craisins and nuts for crunch.

Salad:

Dressing:

1 bag of fresh baby spinach

2 Tbsp olive oil

⅓ cup crushed walnuts, toasted

2 Tbsp balsamic vinegar

⅓ cup dried cranberries

2 Tbsp date syrup or maple syrup

Combine all dressing ingredients and shake until well mixed.

Sprinkle cranberries and walnuts over a bed of baby spinach, then drizzle with dressing.

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Rebranding With Malky Rosenberg

This Month: Coffee

We all know that one person who dare not be approached—or even mentioned— before they’ve had their cup o’ Joe. And then there are those who need three more coffees after that.

If you’re a coffee fan, like me, you’ve come to appreciate the boost of energy, rush of adrenaline, and warm pick-me-up that coffee brings to the table. But coffee can be so much more than just dissolved in a cup with a splash of milk. This humble bean can actually transform into a healthy alternative to your morning chocolate or cheesecake. And behold, coffee can even make chicken bottoms a whole lot more interesting.

I’d tell you more, but I haven’t had my coffee yet. Time to get the good stuff brewing…

Malky Styling and Photography: Pessy Piller

REBRANDING

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Coffee Protein Fudge Now you can start your morning with coffee and with protein! Don’t let the special secret first ingredient scare you, ’cuz nobody will ever be able to tell!

1 15-oz can black beans 1½ Tbsp instant coffee (about 2 packets) 1 Tbsp hot water 6 Tbsp oat flour (or rolled oats blended well) ¼ cup maple syrup 2 Tbsp cacao powder 1 tsp vanilla extract 2 Tbsp mini sugar-free chocolate chips

Drain and rinse the beans, and dissolve coffee in hot water. Place all ingredients except the chocolate chips in a food processor and process until completely blended. Fold in chocolate chips.

Store in the refrigerator and serve chilled.

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REBRANDING

Coffee Turmeric Cauliflower Chicken True, the weather’s warming up, but it’s always a good time for a delicious feel-good-warm-pick-me-up for dinner. The chicken and cauliflower soak up this magical flavor so perfectly.

6 chicken thighs 2 Tbsp instant coffee (decaf is fine too) 2 Tbsp honey 1¼ tsp turmeric ¾ tsp salt 1 cup hot water, plus more 24 oz frozen cauliflower florets 1½ cup spinach leaves Handful dried cranberries, for garnish and flavor

Preheat oven to 375°F. Sprinkle both sides of chicken with salt and place into a 9”x13” pan. Dissolve coffee, honey, turmeric, and salt in one cup of hot water. Pour over chicken. Add cauliflower, spinach, and more water to cover. Cover and bake for 1.5 to 2 hours.

Uncover and bake for an additional half hour on 400°F. Garnish with cranberries before serving.

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TIDBITS

The Vibes 6 SPRING SPECIALTIES

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Spring has arrived, and so has the delicious and fresh produce this season has to offer.

Let’s explore 6 spring specialties and some nutritional highlights of each.

ESTI ASHER, MS, RDN, LD

Apricots

Radishes

Small, yet packed with nutritional benefits, apricots have a high amount of vitamins (such as vitamins A, C, and E), potassium, and flavonoids—a compound produced by plants that has many health benefits, such as reducing inflammation and strengthening blood vessels. The potassium helps with muscle and nerve function, as well as heart health.

Did you know that there are several types of radishes? The most common is the red radish, which is small and round, but there is also the daikon radish, which is white and looks similar to a carrot, and the beautiful-looking watermelon radish, with its pale green skin and pink inner flesh. Radishes are a great source of antioxidants and have a good amount of vitamin C. They are also rich in minerals, such as calcium and potassium, which help support heart health.

Beets

Peas

The deep red/purple color of beets is a sign of their high nutritional content. Beets are particularly known for improving heart health and having high levels of antioxidants.

They’re also anti-inflammatory, which supports the notion that beets help prevent many medical conditions. Yellow beets are also very beneficial to the body; their yellow color indicates that they contain nutrients of a slightly different variety, although very healthy too.

Officially in the legume family, peas come in three different varieties—garden or green peas, snow peas, and snap peas.

While peas may seem humble and low key, they are actually very high in nutrition due to the high concentration of vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, and phytonutrients. The carotenoids contained in peas—lutein and zeaxanthin—are particularly helpful with protection against cataracts and age-related macular degeneration. There are also many other nutrients in peas that decrease inflammation and therefore lower the likelihood of medical conditions associated with inflammation, such as diabetes, arthritis, and heart disease.

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TIDBITS

Microbiome of Breastfed Infants May Be Affected

by Maternal Diet Mint While many plants are referred to as mint, the most common varieties are spearmint and peppermint. These herbs provide a cool sensation and can add much flavor to drinks, salads, and protein dishes.

Mint has many supposed health benefits; its use as a remedy for general digestive discomfort, specifically for individuals with irritable bowel syndrome, is the one most supported by evidence-based research.

A recent study published in Nutrients highlights the work of researchers from the University of Massachusetts who sought to study the impact of maternal diet on breastmilk and an infant’s microbiome. Previous studies show that breastfed infants receive nutrients, immune cells, antibodies, and other beneficial components via breastmilk, which impact the microbiome of an infant. This study set out to further understand the association between maternal diet and breastmilk, and even further, the microbiome of infants.

The team collected and assessed research papers to review within PubMed, Web of Science, and Scopus databases. After reviewing, sorting, and analyzing many research papers, the researchers concluded that maternal food consumption had an impact on the milk microbiome in addition to the infant microbiome, both in the positive and in the negative.

While further studies are needed to determine more concrete recommendations and the degree of impact on maternal diet on breastmilk (and then subsequently infant microbiome), this seems to further encourage and emphasize the additional benefits of healthy eating patterns among lactating women.

Leafy greens such as arugula, spinach, and lettuce It’s not called “spring mix” for no reason. Abundant in the spring, dark green leafy vegetables are generally rich in vitamins A, C, E, and K, and have high levels of fiber, iron, calcium, magnesium, and potassium.

They are also a great source of folate, which is a B vitamin needed for DNA duplication and repair, particularly important for women in child-bearing years. The versatility of leafy greens is also great—think beyond the typical salad and get creative by including leafy greens in wraps, stir-fry, and omelets as well.

Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD, is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and Self-Care Enthusiast on a mission to help women reach their ultimate health and wellbeing potential inside and out. She shares credible, clear, and inspiring nutrition information with women via her virtual private practice. To contact Esti with feedback or inquiries regarding her nutritional services, please email her at: esti@estiashernutrition.com or visit estiashernutrition.com.

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Magnesium May Maximize Brain Health The aging process often leads to brain shrinkage, which is associated with a decrease in cognitive function and a risk of dementia. Since there is currently no cure for dementia, and successful pharmacological treatments have not been found, recommending proactive diet-related strategies to help prevent or minimize risk of dementia is a great proactive strategy to implement. Scientists from the Neuroimaging and Brain Lab at the Australian National University (ANU) have found that increasing consumption of magnesium-rich foods, such as nuts, spinach, legumes, seeds, and leafy green vegetables, may also reduce the risk of dementia.

The study included over 6,000 cognitively healthy participants in the United Kingdom between the ages of 40 to 73. Participants filled out an online questionnaire multiple times over a 16-month period. Their responses were analyzed, and their daily magnesium intakes were calculated.

Ultimately, researchers found that people who consumed more than 550 milligrams of magnesium each day had a brain age that was approximately one year younger by the age of 55 in comparison to subjects with a more standard magnesium intake of about 350 milligrams per day.

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THIS MONTH

In the pages of Wellspring, we share expert advice from some of the community’s most popular and competent dietitians and nutritionists. In this column, you get to see how they practice what they preach in their own kitchens. Pull up a chair at “My Table” and join the chat.

PLANT FOOD During this season of vibrant colors outdoors that deepen our appreciation of the beauty and bounty of nature, let’s talk plants—the edible kind.

What are your three favorite fruits and vegetables that make the most frequent appearance in your diet?

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I

It’s hard to pick just three! We always have lettuce, cucumbers, red onions, and peppers available for a quick, great-tasting salad that goes with everything.

We’re also always stocked with apples and bananas for a quick snack. Mangos are a favorite too, and they complement any dish. It seems we love them all!

Tanya Rosen, MS, CPT

Gila Glassberg, RDN, CDN, Certified Intuitive Eating Coach

Compiled by Shiffy Friedman

B

Baby carrots, celery sticks, and apple slices are easy to prepare and go well with a serving of peanut butter. This combination offers a healthy fat and a perfect amount of protein, carbs, and natural sugars to keep you satisfied and energized until your next meal.

I place zucchini in a bowl, coat with olive oil, garlic powder, and pepper. I then layer on a tray with nutritional yeast and bake until crispy.

My kids have also been loving frozen artichoke bottoms.

I steam them in a pot until soft, with lemon juice, olive oil, salt, and a squirt of maple syrup, and then cook on high heat, uncovered until crispy We love all fruits.

This winter we couldn’t get enough of pomelo, which is like a sweet grapefruit. Now that it’s out of season, we’ve been eating our usual variety.

A

Apples are on the top of my list because they’re delicious and filling. The more we chew, the more the brain receives a message of satiety.

Grapefruit and pineapple are also staples for us. Besides for their nutrition profile, their acidity helps stave off the craving for sweets.

In regard to vegetables, we’re always stocked on lettuce, which is crunchy and low in calories; kabocha squash, which is high in fiber, low in calories and very filling; and cucumbers, which are low in calories, crunchy, and refreshing.

C

Cucumbers—I eat them on the go as is (love the new tiny ones) or sliced with dips and avocado with dinner. Sugar snap peas—we love them in the car or as a snack, plain and crunchy or steamed with cauliflower and baby zucchini for a dinner side dish. We always have berries as an after-dinner snack, and grapes are our Shabbos treat after dinner and lunch. We even freeze them in the summer for an especially refreshing treat.

Shaindy Oberlander, BS, INHC

We do tend to be obsessed with one or two every so often. Right now, we keep eating sliced zucchini.

Shani Taub, CDC

We love all vegetables and fruits in our house.

Dr. Rachael Teichberg

Laura Shammah, MS, RDN

W

I

I keep some basic staples handy all year round and I enjoy other fruits and vegetables when they’re in season. For starters, I always stock up on the basic salad greens, cucumbers, mushrooms, and beets. I love having different colors and textures in my salads.

The darker and deeper in color, the more polyphenols and health benefits.

Having just completed my own veggie patch in our backyard, I sure am looking forward to my expanded source of organic veggies, chock-full of herbs and nutrients, that we’ll be enjoying all summer long.

In the fruit department, I always keep frozen fruits handy for smoothies, in addition to melons, apples, and oranges.

I’m looking forward to the juicy summertime nectarines and peaches!

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3. Purple cabbage: One of my favorite vegetables because of its beautiful, vibrant color (and corresponding antioxidants), I appreciate that purple cabbage has a long life in the refrigerator (before it’s shredded). It’s also a very versatile vegetable that can be used in a variety of dishes.

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For veggies, I always keep a package or two of frozen broccoli in the freezer—ready to broil, bake, or roast for a quick, easy, and delicious side dish. Another staple is fresh lettuce of any kind, such as romaine, baby arugula (my fave!), or spring mix to base any salad. And, of course, cucumbers for snacking or to toss in a salad. Did I mention vitamins, minerals, and fiber? Those dark green ones are chock-full of vitamins C, K, B6, magnesium, iron, calcium, and more.

A

1. Apples: They’re sweet, crunchy, filling, and healthy. Apples are an excellent food for the digestive system, with their high concentration of pectin, a type of fiber that slows down digestion and thereby promotes satiety. It also acts as a prebiotic that nurtures the gut bacteria.

2. Mixed Salad Snacks (from Bodek): This is a fast and easy way to enjoy a healthy meal addition or snack. If I’m in a rush, I simply add a dressing, and if I have more time, I make the salad more elaborate.

3. Cucumbers: Delicious and refreshing, they’re an easy, quick, open-the-fridge-and-findsomething-good type of snack. I love the idea of opening the fridge to look for something to eat and finding something that takes a few seconds to wash, cut (or not even!), and enjoy.

Sheindy Ungar, CDC

I

In the fruit department, we’re always stocked with apples, bananas, and clementines. The first two are a good source of fiber, and they’re all excellent sources of essential vitamins and minerals, like vitamin C, B6, and potassium. Plus, they’re the easiest to take along when we’re on the go, and my kids love them. Win-win!

L 1. Lettuce

Lettuce adds bulk to a salad without necessitating too much work. I try to have a fresh salad every day.

2. Frozen Broccoli When the fridge is empty, there are frozen vegetables to fall back on… I have so many recipes that call for broccoli (find them in my new cookbook, “Nourished by Nature”).

The simplest one is Garlic Broccoli: 1 ½ lb. broccoli florets crushed garlic cubes Bake at 425° in a 9x13 pan, covered, approximately 30 minutes.

3. Zucchini What a versatile vegetable. From adding it to an omelet to roasting slices in the oven with oil and salt – the options are endless.

Bina Gottdiener, CN, CHC

2. (Persian) cucumbers: I love that they’re an easy, quick, and wholesome school lunch component, a grab-and-go snack straight from the refrigerator (washed in advance), and very versatile—whether eaten on their own with a dip, as the base of an Israelistyle chopped salad, or thrown into a leafy green salad.

Chaya Tziry Retter, RDN, CPT

B

1. Bananas: Enjoyed by everyone in our family, I love that bananas don’t require washing or preparing, and they’re often enjoyed as a frozen treat in our home as well. (Simply peel a ripe banana and put in a snack bag before placing in the freezer.)

Bashy Halberstam, INHC

Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD

MY TABLE

W

What a tough question—we love all veggies and have as much variety as we can get!

Do I have to choose three?

I’d say the top raw veggies we always have around are cucumbers, peppers, kohlrabi, and carrots— regular and baby versions. A few years ago, I invested in high-quality lucite sectionals with lids, and I always keep them full of these veggies in the fridge for easy munching.

My top three roasted veggies are honey sesame broccoli, crispy turmeric cauliflower, and pesto zucchini steaks.

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F I N D I T I N T H E F R E E Z E R AT YO U R LO CA L S U P E R M A R K E T

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HOLISTIC

C I T S I L O H

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Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE

Hormone Health

Thyroid at Work An underperforming thyroid is a significant factor in cases of recurrent miscarriage.

Even borderline thyroid impairment can have an impact on fertility. To optimize function, the thyroid gland needs good levels of specific nutrients, including iodine, zinc, selenium, and tyrosine. Supplementation with high levels of iodine is not recommended, but incorporating Brazil nuts and kelp flakes in the diet to provide natural iodine and selenium is often helpful.

In addition, oxidation of iodine in the thyroid gland has been implicated as a causes for the body deciding to attack the thyroid, as occurs in Hashimoto’s disease. A plant-based diet, antioxidants such as glutathione and vitamin C, and stress reduction are all helpful to fight against iodine oxidation. A gluten and dairy-free diet is also sometimes indicated in cases of Hashimoto’s.

Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE, is a dietitian whose mission is to improve lives by empowering individuals to use nutrition to improve their gut health and hormone balance. She is a recognized expert on IBS/SIBO and has developed the Gut Dietitian training protocols on IBS and IBD for Registered Dietitian education.

She writes, lectures, and counsels extensively on IBD, IBS, PCOS/fertility, and thyroid health, and is the founder of the gutdietitian.com virtual practice and co-founder of the Belly app.

Shaindy Oberlander, BS, INHC

Nutritional Health

Charting Collagen Changes When we reach our twenties, our natural production of collagen starts slowing down and keeps dramatically decreasing as we age. In fact, collagen production decreases by 23 percent each subsequent year. So, while the body continues using and needing collagen, we aren’t replenishing it at the same rate as when we were younger. This can become quite a problem considering collagen is what keeps teeth, hair, bones, eyelashes, skin, and joints young and at their optimum strength.

One way you can regain collagen is through supplementing. The word collagen is derived from the Greek word kolla, which means glue. By taking collagen supplements, you’re giving your body what it’s missing. Collagen specifically helps with the growth and quality of hair, skin, and nails. Personally, after taking the Absolute Collagen supplement for a month, I saw a dramatic difference.

Shaindy Oberlander, BS, INHC, a graduate from Mercy College and IIN, runs her functional medicine–based nutrition practice in Toms River, New Jersey, and virtually. Shaindy has tracks for teens, nursing and pregnant mothers, and women peri/post menopause, and tracks for women suffering from hormonal issues. She can be reached at 347.228.1198 or via her website at www.benefithealthprogram.com.

Shiffy Friedman

Toras Hashem temimah meshivas nafesh. Quite literally, it was through the Torah that the Yidden’s neshamah was restored to their body, after having left it at the exalted moments of Hashem’s revelation. On a deeper level, commentators explain that Torah has the potent power to facilitate true menuchas hanefesh. While there are myriad ways to understand how the Torah is such a gift for our nefesh, here’s one angle.

What is the feeling all of us wish to feel, always? Simcha wins, hands down. There is no greater simcha, Metzudas Dovid in Mishlei (15:30) famously tells us, than the fraying, the eradication, of a safeik, an uncertainty. If I can’t decide what to do this summer and then something comes up that makes my decision certain, I experience a profound level of joy. As Yidden, we are privileged to have a source of guidance, the Torah, that clears up all of our uncertainties in life. It is the healing, wise, comforting manual written by the Master of the Universe and upon which the world was created that offers us explicit instructions regarding all areas of our existence, enabling us to live a life of unparalleled simcha. Ashreinu mah tov chelkeinu!

In addition to her work as a writer, teacher, and counselor, Mrs. Shiffy Friedman is the founding director of LAHAV, an initiative that spreads awareness about the pathways to connection, contentment, and inner peace through Torah. To receive her free thought-provoking messages on the topic or to learn more about LAHAV, please write to info@lahavinitiative.org.

Introducing Allergens Perel Kahan, RD, CDN

Pediatric Health

Spiritual Health

All Dilemmas Solved

While previous guidelines recommended waiting to introduce common food allergens, current recommendations are to introduce them before age one, as delaying exposure can actually increase the likelihood of developing an allergy. Common food allergens include eggs, cow’s milk, fish, sesame, peanuts, tree nuts, soy, and wheat. Introduce one allergen at a time so if a reaction occurs, you’ll know which food caused it. Serve small sizes for several days to ensure it’s well tolerated. You can then move on to the next allergen. Consider serving it in the morning so you can monitor your baby throughout the day and easily reach your doctor should you observe an allergic reaction. Once a food allergen is safely introduced, aim to offer it two to three times a week, as consistent exposure is beneficial in allergy prevention. If your baby has existing food allergies or severe eczema, talk to your pediatrician before introducing food allergens.

Perel Kahan, RD, CDN, is a Brooklyn-based pediatric registered dietitian and certified dietitian-nutritionist who practices and lives with an intuitive eating mindset. That means broccoli, whole grain sourdough, and chocolate chip cookies are in regular rotation at her house! She can be reached at kahanperel@gmail.com.

If you’re a health practitioner and would like to contribute to this column, please write to info@wellspringmagazine.com.

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