DOG OR SIGNIFICANT OTHER

Who DO you love more?

By Cherese Cobb

Want to know who loves you more? Put your dog and your significant other (SO) in the trunk of your car and drive around for an hour. When you let them both out, who’s happier to see you? (Hint: Your best friend, has four legs, and a tail.)

It’s a corny cliché, but for too many couples it has a grain of truth. Once the pitter-patter of tiny paws comes along, there are three in the relationship. And as everyone knows, three is a crowd.

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According to a 2018 Freshpet® poll, 30 percent of adults prefer their pups to their SOs, and 47 percent say it’s harder to leave them for a week. Three in 10 believe their pooches are better listeners, while nearly 50 percent like the fact they’re never judged or questioned by their dogs.

Unlike husbands, pups never track their wins or compromises. While most dogs get excited at the mere mention of the word “ball,” they won’t turn you into a sports widow. They also believe if they beg long enough, you’ll really give them a big ol’ piece of your steak.

Unlike wives, dogs think you’re amazing just the way you are. They don’t want to upgrade your wardrobe or drag you to parties with dreary people you barely know. They also won’t give you a honey-do list that scrolls an entire city block.

According to Canine Cottages, when you say, “I love you” to dogs, their heartbeat skyrockets 46 percent. Dogs are also better sleeping partners than your cat or SO. According to Anthrozoös (a quarterly, peer-reviewed journal), dogs are less likely to move on and off the bed during the night and are associated with stronger feelings of comfort and security.

HOW DEEP IS YOUR LOVE?

Per a Wag! poll of 3,500 dog owners, 86 percent would break up with their other half if they didn’t get along with their pup.

Sixteen percent also say they would rather celebrate their dog’s birthday than their SO’s.

Four out of 10 dog parents would cozy up with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, crank up “Unbreak My Heart” and refuse to take off their paw print PJs if their doggo ran away. On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being deep, deep doo-doo), a lost dog averages a 9.1 while a breakup is an 8.8.

Singles looking for love say that “a dog is the ultimate wingman.” That’s because 70 percent of dog owners swipe right on dating apps if a profile pic has a pooch. Twenty percent will also stay in a rocky relationship because of their SO’s dog. You might remember Will & Grace’s “Mad Dogs and Average Men,” where Will Truman doesn’t want to split with his needy boyfriend, Paul Budnik, because of his St. Bernard, Pepper.

IT’S ME OR THE DOG

When Liz Haslam’s husband gave her an ultimatum—him or her 30 rescue dogs—the Bull Terriers won. She fell in love with Mike when she was 16. After their wedding in January 1991, they bought a two-bedroom farmhouse in Barnham, Suffolk. They had a son, Ollie, and were married for over 25 years. “My passion for dogs was far too great for Mike,” Haslam tells Express U.K., “I haven’t seen or heard from him since. He told me he was going and had sorted out some other accommodation, so he packed his bags and went.”

A 2019 survey by The Kennel Club in London, England, found that 20 percent of people would rather have a dog than be with an SO. That’s because “good boys” bring out the best in us. Call it puppy love, but as long as it’s returned unconditionally and ‘til death do you part—who cares?