Ask The Villanovan: Valentines and Downtime

My significant other didn’t post for me on Valentine’s Day and he knows I wanted him to. My friends were asking me if we broke up... What do I do?

If he knows you like this and he didn’t do it, you need to address it directly. Honesty and openness are key, especially when bringing up points of contention.

Little acts of kindness are what make relationships strong. If they’re not willing to take little opportunity’s to brigthen your day — especially on Valentine’s Day — maybe they’re not the one. Your partner should validate and honor the things they know make you happy, and they should be excited to show you off, particilarly when they know it’s important to you.

Be candid with them, and if things don’t change, then maybe it’s time to reevaluate, but you won’t know until you get the conversation going.

Also, take into account the other acts of love they did on Valentine’s Day –– maybe they’re just not a PDA person. Communication is key.

My significant other and I have been dating for about a month but I haven’t told my parents yet. What should I do?

There are two routes to take: the hard launch and the traditional launch.

The hard launch would be simply sending a picture to your family group chat of your SO and stating that you two are together. This would cut out any doubt about the situation, though it might give your mother a heart attack.

The traditional launch would be to mention this person every now and then over the course of a few weeks and see if they pick up on it. Eventually, they’ll ask and you can hit them with a, “Funny you should ask...” There’s really no wrong way to go about this – just wait until you have to tell your grandparents.

Another year, another Valentine’s Day spent single. I seriously don’t think I can take another Instagram story post saying, “love doing life with you.” Am I a loser for being single this late in college?

First of all, no. Second of all, NO. If anything, college is the best time in your life to be single. Third, social media is a façade. Valentine’s Day is just another excuse for people to portray only the best parts of their lives. Remember those couples fight, too. Our personal evaluation is the sappier the post, the worse the state of the relationship. But that’s neither here nor there.

That all said, no, you are not a loser. Embrace your independence. This is the time in your life where you have the least amount of responsibility, so lean into it. It’s so important to be happy in your independence before getting into a relationship, anyway.

I have a crush on this girl in my friend group, but my buddy asked her to his club sport formal. He said they’re just going as friends, but I feel like something’s gonna go down if the vibe is right. Should I tell him I’m into her or let it play out?

Honestly, with guys it’s hard. Girl-code wouldn’t permit your friend getting with her if he had knowledge of your feelings, for example. But things have to be a little more delicate here. If it were me, I’d give him a hint that you were maybe thinking of asking her out sometime soon, so he knows there’s something there. Hopefully, he will take this information into account and minimize the ~vibes~ at formal. Although, we hear those club sports kids get pretty rowdy…

I’m hitting that point in the semester where I want to skip classes…regularly. What can I do to stay motivated and remain the academic weapon that I am?

Maintaining motivation during the day starts with your habits at night. Try to get to bed a little earlier day by day. I know it’s easy to fall into the late-nightmunchy habit, but the earlier you eat dinner, the less sluggish you’ll feel the next day. Digestion and all that.

Take time each day to do something little that makes you happy. Have something to look forward to after your classes, whether it’s a meal, studying with your favorite person, or a Netflix break. Creating intentional time to decompress might help you feel less inclined to do so during class time. Healthy habits, my friend.