VOLUME 39 • NUMBER 19 •
APRIL 1, 2021
Since 1982
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BY LOOF LIRPA
The astonishing announcement of a new 13-acre amusement park coming to the vacant land adjacent to the Landmark towers is now revealed to the public. The public notices were posted in the Greenwood Village city hall, but the facility has been closed for the past several months for a renovation so has escaped public scrutiny until April 1, 2021. Governmental reporter Fredo McLin discovered the stunning documents last week when the city office reopened for business. The posting shows that the 13 acres will accommodate the largest roller coaster in the United States starting with a 1000-foot launch tower near the Landmark towers with vertical drop of 900 ft. and then loop out over the open air space of I-25, circle over the open air space of the Triad buildings and do an S-shape route covering over 3 miles in total distance. The design shows the largest merrygo-round in America in the center of the complex with a live entertainment stage and 100 real silver metallic elephants and donkeys to ride. Prominent rock and roll
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stars will perform live as the stage turns featuring evening performances until 11 p.m. with daytime taped music. This project has been kept under wraps because it is being developed by a Chinese firm that is investing $5 billion into this park. The underground parking will accommodate over 1000 cars and the park is expected to produce $10 million a year in income to Greenwood Village and Arapahoe County. Because of the recent Asian alleged hate crimes, the planning commission and council have moved quietly through confidential Zoom meetings with Chinese officials to complete the contract. Several city planners traveled to Wuhan, China to work out the details that include bringing over 1000 Chinese workers and their families to the area for the two-year construction period. Unfortunately, the GV planners were quarantined in Wuhan for two weeks slowing the development reports back to council for review and public hearings. New Cherry Creek school superintendent Chris Smyth and the local school board were advised of the boon for school enrollments and are expecting over 1000
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new Chinese students in the school district and are quietly soliciting Chinese linguists to teach Mandarin that is spoken in that province. Doug Tisdilly, RTD leader, is already moving to have a spur line leaving the Orchard Station with an overhead tramline running up Quebec into the rear of the amusement park alleviating some of the traffic entering off Quebec and Orchard Roads. The amusement park is anticipated to bring over 1 million visitors to the GV park annually. Live animal shows may be added to the park facilities, but the manure smell may be too much for neighboring residents. Other plans show that council has approved the sale of marijuana candy and laced popcorn along with the multiple food booths surrounding the park. Council member Lubbock objected strenuously but was overruled by council members over the billion-dollar revenue stream expected from the MJ sales. Gun lovers will relish in the unique firing range concession. The earth removed from the underground parking lot will be stacked at the back of the lot facing Quebec and will partially prevent
bullets from flying over adjacent Greenwood Village homes. The live range facility will be the first in the nation featuring military AK-47 rifles instructing homeowners how to protect themselves against intruders. The rifles will be sold to shooters after the training sessions are completed. Area hotels are being contracted for lower rates for the Chinese families and adding more rice, vegetables, and chopsticks to their morning breakfasts. In order to placate nearby Landmark residents, they will be given free passes to the rides and a wall will be constructed blocking the view of the park and dimming the anticipated screams from roller coaster patrons. Mayor George Lancet is pleased to announce that because of the huge amount of funding from the project all home residential taxes will be paid by the city for the entire community when the project opens in 2024. He asks for patience while the construction ensues over the next two years. He plans on seeking re-election in 2022. If you made it this far, examine who wrote this article.
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