Issuu

1 TUVMAG.COM July+August 2016

AIDS/ HIV NEWS

“I’ m here. I’ m living. I’ m happy. So take that, HIV.” Cedric

Living with HIV since 2012.

HIV

TREATMENT

WORKS

After my diagnosis, it took me a while to accept the fact that being HIV-positive is not the end of the world: It’s just the beginning of a whole new way of life. The first meds I was prescribed gave me some bad side effects.

Get in care. Stay in care. Live well.

But I worked with my doctors to find a new one that was better for me. Now I feel great and my viral count is undetectable. That list of things you wanted to accomplish before you were diagnosed? It’s still possible if you stay in care and work with your doctor to find the treatment that’s best for you. 2 TUVMAG.COM July+August 2016

cdc.gov/HIVTreatmentWorks 3 TUVMAG.COM July+August 2016

Be part of TUV Magazine’s Next Issue

September + October 2016 Send all stories and articles to: info@tuvmag.com Advertising inquiries: ads@tuvmag.com Deadline for ALL inquiries: August 15, 2016

14 BEING A GOOD ALLY By Renea Taylor

THE

15 UNWARRANTED CONTROVERSY By Senator Lee Harris

26 ”SOMETHING PRIDE & SEXUALITY YOU CAN’T PRAY AWAY” By Dr. Darnell Gooch, MDiv

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PRIDE 08 WE ARE ORLANDO

By Gwendolyn D. Clemons, Editor-in-Chief

09 LOVING YOU UNCONDITIONALLY By Davin D. Clemons, MDiv

10 NO MORE SHEETS By De’Mario Q. Jives

12 NO MORE CAPTIVES

By Pastor A. Marquis Hairston, Sr.

13 MEET THE MORRISONS By Pastor Alex Morrison

16 QUEER BLACK PRIDE By Ami Dudley

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ISSUE

18 THROUGH FAITH, RESILIENCE & 27 IT GOES DOWN IN THE DM RESISTANCE By Lawayne Childrey

22 SAVING THE BROZ By Judah Lion James

23 LIFE OUTSIDE THE MARGINS By Beth Trouy

By Eddie Wiley

30 FEATURED ARTIST R&B Artist “PSYCHO”

31 HEALTH & FITNESS

Model: Donnie DraydynetraKardea McLaurin Photographer: Angie+Ike Photography

On the Cover: Rainbow Flag in Memory of the 49 Orlando Victims

By Justin Brown

24 NOT FATS, NO FEMS, NO OLD HEADS By Martavius Hampton

25 BECOMING AMERICA’S YOUNGEST GAY MARRIED COUPLE By David Harris & Tredarrius Anderson

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EDITOR’S LETTER

s I sit here pondering about the Orlando, FL terror attack and the victims of this heinous crime, it troubles me to hear many people diminish the blame as merely the fault of gun laws in the United States. When Christian extremist terrorists right here in the United States are claiming this attack was the wrath of God, there has got to be more to it than faulty gun laws. I blame the lawmakers of the United States of America who vote to pass antigay laws which only seem to validate hateful perspectives. How can we expect anyone from any other country to respect our LGBTQ community when the legislation right here in the very country we live and pay taxes in does not fully support, represent or respect LGBTQ individuals? Right here in the United States of America, we have lawmakers who watched thousands of gay men die from HIV/AIDS in the 1980’s and remained silent about this deadly disease. Right here in the United States of America, we have lawmakers who refer to our transgender sisters and brothers as sexual predators, and then endorse bathroom bills discriminating against transgender individuals. Right here in the United States of America, we have lawmakers voting to allow counselors the right to turn gay clients away for psychological services simply because of their sexuality. Right here in the United States of America, we have states that do not protect our LGBTQ sisters and brothers from losing their jobs based on discrimination. These offer just a glimpse at the legislated hatred that the United States of

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Used By Permission of Carlos Latuff @LatuffCartoons

We Are Orlando

s I reflect on this PRIDE edition of The Unleashed Voice, I must also reflect on the definition of Gay Pride, which is the positive stance against discrimination and violence toward lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people to promote their self-affirmation, dignity, and equal rights; increase their visibility as a social group; build a sense of community; and celebrate sexual diversity and gender variance. The term self-affirmation is particularly conspicuous to me, as selfaffirmation is something I personally believe that many individuals within the LGBTQ community are lacking for various reasons including society, family, friends, legislation, and the list goes on. Self-affirmation refers to the beliefs that individuals speak unto themselves about their own worth and value, and contributes to the feelings people experience as a result of that perceived worthiness or unworthiness. Because it so heavily influences people’s choices and decisions, the importance of selfaffirmation is indisputable. Many of us within the LGBTQ community and abroad have made misguided decisions in our lives based on emotions that have resulted from a difficulty with loving ourselves fully, as a byproduct of believing the hype that others have embedded in our spirit.

America has bred. And you wonder why in the HELL this terrorist might dare go inside of a gay night club and kill 49 innocent people — including a mother who took bullets to protect her gay son — and injure over 50 more? The ironic thing about this is that some parents found themselves notified about their child’s death and their child’s sexual orientation all at the same time — and once again, I blame the lawmakers behind these anti-gay bills for keeping them in the closet. The Unleashed Voice Magazine sends its condolences to the families and its full support to the victims of the deadliest mass shooting in United States History. We will support our LGBTQ sis-ters and brothers 100% and continue to fight for equality in the country that we live in, and be-yond. As Muhammad Ail said, “Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.” The shooting at the Pulse Club in Orlando, FL could have happened to any of us and for that we simply say “WE ARE ORLANDO!”

Gwendolyn D. Clemons Editor-in-Chief

As members of the LGBTQ community, we must become socially aware of life’s obstacles, in addition to becoming 100% confident in who we are and WHOSE we are. Once we step out the closet and become PROUD of who we are, then a multitude of barriers we face can be challenged, knocked down, and defeated. In order for this to happen, unconditional love for oneself is not only a must but is also a reflection of the agape love of God. God made one “you” — and if you pretend to be someone else, then who is left to be you in all the glory of your singularity?

We must stop pretending to be anyone other than our most authentic selves, which I had trouble acknowledging for many years. But once I decided to be the individual God had created me to be, I developed a deep connection with the universe and a deep appreciation for my OTHERNESS. Unbeknownst to me, the very people I had been pretending for began developing a deeper RESPECT for me for being authentically ME. So, as we submit ourselves to turning up for LGBTQ PRIDE months in cities across the nation and abroad, remember that loving yourself and who you are creates an unparalleled feeling of contentment. Instead of fighting with yourself, beating yourself up or being hard on yourself, accept yourself in your own imperfect skin. Love yourself because wishing to be someone else is a sentence of misery and exhaustion. Love yourself because, as Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “Hate is too great of a burden to bear.” Love yourself because, regardless of where you may go or what you may do, you will be who you are for the rest of your life. Love yourself because once you accept who you are, you can focus your energy on your life’s other pressing matters, and on the people in your life who love you back. #IAMUNLEASHED #LOVEMATTERS #LGBTQPRIDEMATTERS

Davin D. Clemons,

Executive Publisher

MDiv.

Loving You

UNCONDITIONALLY 9 TUVMAG.COM July+August 2016

LGBTQ/ LOVE PRIDE

was a little boy with a secret that wasn’t much of a secret to any of the amazing women who helped to raise me. I played house with girls, and I played house with boys — until they taught me with a loving fierceness that boys don’t play house with other boys. I quickly learned to cloak the feelings I couldn’t explain and the thoughts I couldn’t understand.

your nose clean so that nothing can discredit your walk or your deeds.”So when he pressed further, “Do you have something you need to tell us?” all I could do was hang my head.

One thing I knew I never had to hide was how immensely I loved God with all my heart, all my being, and all my understanding. But then I learned God supposedly hated people like me. Yearning to become someone God could love back, my church became my universe.

“No,” I said. “There is nothing that I need to tell you.”

As I grew older, I always made sure I had a girlfriend, and I tried to imagine myself with a wife and two kids someday. I did everything I could to continue concealing the truth inside of me, keeping that truth wrapped tightly, desperately within my sheets. Throughout all this time, I expressed my devotion to God a preacher, youth pastor, service coor-dinator, event planner, media director, pastor’s assistant, and armor bearer for my church. And then came one of my life’s proudest moments: the day my church leaders saw in the virtue of my character to bestow the honor of making me an elder. Then one Sunday, I was summoned to my pastor’s office, where I was also met with his wife, more elders, and other members of our church staff. “Do you know why you’re in here?” my pas-tor asked. When I told him no, he showed me a printout from my Facebook page. Days earlier, I’d posted about the Vision Church of Atlanta, known for its LGBTQ-embracive congregation. I’d expressed how much I appreciated their inclusivity, along with my wish that other churches would follow suit. For all that I had kept so carefully wrapped within my sheets all those years, I didn’t see what could be so disgraceful about such a mere statement. And yet apparently, my commendation of inclusion had received attention throughout our na-tional church, from pastor to pastor and congregation to congregation, the sum of whom, across the board, had virtually declared that I was “no longer saved.” “Why would you do this?” my pastor demanded. “You know this is wrong. Is this what you be-lieve?” My pastor had been like a father to me. I had always been open and honest with him. He’d known for years that I was a gay man, advising me early on, “Son, you always have to make sure you keep your name clear and

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I’d been layering myself in sheets for so long, what was one more layer?

I solemnly agreed to read an approved statement aloud to our congregation, apologizing for my words and retracting my stance… in other words, lying. He’d told me, “We can’t have all these people thinking this is what you believe. You’re going to have to fix this, or we’ll be forced to remove you from your positions.” So what was one more layer?

His image, as if I am ashamed of Him? And being created in His image, how could I possibly be damned? As long as my relationship with God was alright, then I was alright. I made up my mind, finally, no more sheets. No more covering up. And it was not until I could revel freely in my own liberation that I could glorify the true magnitude and power of God’s love. Today, it is important that I retract my former retraction. The church had shown me love, taught me values, and given me light. For that, I will always cherish it. But what the church must now charge itself with, what others must charge the church with, and what I now shamelessly charge the church with, is being indiscriminate about bestowing the grace, love, and teachings of the God we all share — a God we are unable to love, truly, as long as we are taught to hate ourselves and deny ourselves.

After I made the statement, my pastor stood and humiliated me further, badgering me in front of our congregation, continuing to challenge my position. Afterward, he still called me, “Son,” but behaved as though I’d better not come too close. Others became distant, stripping me of my title with less and less and less subtlety, calling me “brother” rather than “elder.” Finding no resolve, I soon left the church — a decision which left a profound void within me. After a while, things started looking up. My career was advancing, and I met a gentleman I start-ed dating. Still, there was a void. Praying intensely, I finally decided to return to the church. But I had to make something very clear to my boyfriend: “Now that I’m back at the church, I need you to be my secret.” What was one more layer… right? But this time it wasn’t only myself that I was cloaking. Now I was pleading for someone else to conceal himself in the same sheets I loathed, the same sheets that had long weighed me down. What kind of thing was that to ask of someone I loved? The rift between us became inevitable. The end of us became imminent. After losing him, I remained at the church, struggling to find acceptance again. But I couldn’t. I could no longer even accept myself. How could I even find myself, so inundated underneath all those sheets? It was impossible not to become tired of living a lie. There is a verse in the scripture that says, “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well” (Psalms 139:14). How could I be ashamed of what He created in

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FL-PRIDE POWERFUL VOICES

SPIRITUALLY NC- PRIDE

he City Church of Greensboro, North Carolina began as the Beautiful City of Zion Evangelistic Ministries of Charlotte, North Carolina in April of 2012. The City Church, as the ministry is affectionately branded, was birthed out of a process of self-awareness in my life. My “coming out” process had been more of a “coming in” process. After my marriage failed, I came to a place of deep inner contemplation. I asked God to show me myself, and the more I prayed that prayer, the more God began to reveal Himself to me. He showed me that I had failed to get to know Him for myself. The nature that God revealed to me was unlike anything I had been taught or even experienced before. God affirmed me. His affirmation was made manifest in the fact that even when I felt that my entire existence was meaningless and that my affinities were sinful, He never took His hand off of me. He didn’t retract His anointing from me. God spoke to me one day, saying, “Reconcile your whole self to me! I want all of you!” And after hearing that, I was faced with a theological dilemma when comparing what God had said to what I had been taught. “Could God really mean for me to bring my whole self to Him? Even my sexual self?” I inquired within. The response was, “You will remain bound to the very thing you refuse to confront.” I brought my sexuality to God, and said, “Lord, this is me. Here I am.” And not only did the chains of sexual bondage fall off of my life, but the love of God filled my heart to the point that I no longer needed to find validation and love from sexual exploits. I did need deliverance, but not from homosexuality. I needed God to deliver me from sexual promiscuity brought on by the unquenchable desire to be affirmed and validated by anyone by any means necessary. I learned that it is not your affinities or attractions that get you into trouble, but the lack of discipline as it pertains to those affinities and attractions. On the night he was betrayed, Jesus said to Peter, “Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: but I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.” Jesus, in this statement, introduced a very important concept: once we come into a place of freedom, we have a responsibility to strengthen our brothers. Those who are still held captive by the situations from which we were delivered need our influence; they need our testimony; they need our story. If we keep silent, then there is virtually no hope for them. As a Pastor, activist, and most importantly, a man of

faith, I have decided to not sit in silent submission to watching others succumb to an escapable situation. I have dedicated the remainder of my life to being a “Harriet Tubman” who will return into the land of bondage, and escort those with a desire to be free, to a place where societal chains can no longer hold them captive. The City Church of Greensboro thus seeks to find unconventional ways to “be the church,” as opposed to the traditional experience that goes no further than Sunday mornings. To this end, the City Church strives to be an active presence in the lives of its followers and parishioners, and a relevant voice in the community, advocating for the rights of all persons, especially those who are marginalized and/ or oppressed. To put this vision into action, I also founded a community-based organization called the PLUS+ Project, to educate and empower MSMs (men who have sex with men) who are living with HIV/AIDS, as well as to eradicate stigma associated with HIV/AIDS in the faith community. With the understanding that the lives of same-gender-loving and queer persons have for too long been regarded as abnormal, abominable, unnatural, and/or sinful, the PLUS+ Project will also launch an initiative that will support the rights and freedoms of transgender persons.. When it comes to the oppressive laws sweeping the South, North Carolina has been made the stage on which the drama of this legislative battle must be fought out; consequently, a responsibility has been placed on the clergy in my state to provide a theological response to what our legislative body has done and is doing. My response is simple: Jesus, according to his own quoting of the Prophet Isaiah was purposed to “preach the gospel to the poor, heal the brokenhearted, preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised and to preach the acceptable year of the Lord” (Luke 4:18-19, Isaiah 61:1-2). According to the aforementioned text, any marginalized or oppressed person is the very person that Jesus came to save. In the context of the laws of the land, the poor, brokenhearted captives have most commonly been our very own brothers and sisters of color, and most definitely our LGBTQ persons. So, black and black LGBTQ lives really do matter to Jesus,

and as a Pastor, I stand in defiant opposition to any law of the land that discriminates against any of God’s Creation.

e started in a rooming house with little in our pockets and little to eat. In this rooming house, we took baths with socks on and tolerated the company of maggots on our kitchen floor. It was the lowest place and the most destitute situation that we have ever endured in our lives. All we had was each other, and most of all, our FAITH.

I personally find it hard to fathom that a convicted pedophile or rapist has the right to use the same restroom as my four-year-old son, just because of his biological sex; but a transgendered person must be subjected to ridicule and even retaliation once they walk into a bathroom that does not identify with the way in which they live their life. It’s sad that a transgendered person, in the eyes of the law, is more of a threat to women and children than a convicted pedophile or rapist.

Since then, we have been through so much together. We have been up, and we have been down. But knowing that God joined us together has meant that nothing and no one can put us under, not even ourselves. Now, as a pastor, I have the greatest honor of being married to my spouse Savannah Morrison, The First Lady of Judah Nation Ministries of Fort Myers, Florida — and the only Lady, to me.

Lastly, America is a relatively young nation, so I believe that a lot of this legal struggle is tied up in the plight of having to figure out how to create a land where everyone is able to possess the freedom of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. We have the destination in mind, but no one really has the turn-by-turn directions to get there. In times like those, the only One able to guide us is God. Perhaps North Carolina is the example that God will use in this country to not only bring equality and justice to reality for all people, but also to model for the rest of the country what it means to fight against oppressive and traditional theology with a more relevant Christianity, wherein Christ really is for everyone.

The hardest part about being a Leader in the church is withstanding the world’s discrimination against my spouse. What makes it one of my toughest battles is that I understand that it hurts, but I can’t understand how it feels. You see, my wife is a Transgender woman, and I love her just as she is. Yet many people wonder how a gay man can love a person who lives their life as the opposite sex. “What’s the point?” is a question I hear so often. My response is one simple word: Love. When I married her, I vowed that no matter what we’d ever go through, I would always remain her husband. The thing about love is that it has no gender or agenda. My love is not conditional. Whether my wife wears six inch heels or gym shorts, she will always be uniquely designed just for me. I don’t expect everyone to understand, and they really don’t have to; but I know that without her, there is no me. Ours is more than just a physical union; it is a spiritual connection. What we enjoy most about each other spiritually is the balance; whatever area Lady Savannah falls weak in, I hold her up, and vise versa. As I minister to the people, she ministers to me. When you walk through the doors of our church, there is an anointing that answers all of your questions and soothes all doubts, illuminating irrefutably why my Lady and I are one in ministry.

Meet The

Morrisons of Judah Nation Tabernacle of Deliverance

No More Captives

It has been said in the LGBTQ community that our relationships won’t last and that we are set up for destruction. So we have come to be a light and an example that if you keep God first and maintain a healthy prayer life with your spouse, there is nothing you can’t achieve. One scripture that we stand by is John 3:16, “For God so Loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that WHOSEVER believeth in him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” Yes, this goes even for the Pastor with the transgendered wife. You see, we often forget that Jesus came back with only one commandment, and that commandment was to Love. Our main mission in ministry is to let the world know that no matter who you are, or what you are, or where you’ve been, God Loves you just as you are — and nothing can, shall, or will separate you from the Love of Jesus, not even your sexual orientation or preference.

- Pastor Alex Morrison

Strengthen Thy Brethren By Pastor A. Marquis Hairston, Sr.

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|POLITICS

TRANS-PRIDE questions about private parts they don’t deem quite so “private” for trans people… and that’s only the beginning. Recognizing and acknowledging your privilege is only the beginning of fostering a more genuine understanding of everyday challenges faced by members of the transgender community you are advocating and helps prevent you from many unwitting missteps that can inadvertently contribute to the perpetuation of gender oppression. 2. Ask yourself how you can use your privilege for the betterment of someone else. Advocates are often confronted by everyday choices between speaking out and standing by in silence when facing controversial discussions, offensive statements, or derogatory actions against trans people outside the friendly confines of the community itself. Do not hide behind your privilege just because you can. As an ally, you must not remain silent. Silence equals compliance. Speak out against injustice when it really counts — not merely when you’re among us whom you know are bound to agree. At the same time…

Being A Good Ally By Renae Taylor

Dear Allies: I am so thankful to all of you in our corner who speak up for trans rights as human rights. With your help, we have been able to raise awareness and garner support among many who may have proven much more difficult to reach on our own. Still, there are times when I realize that even our allies, without meaning to, threaten to become part of the very problem we are working together to resolve. So I would like to take a moment to address that concern by sharing a few important reminders and tidbits about what it means to be a good ally: 1. Acknowledge your privilege. People tend to instinctively deny the existence of privilege, sometimes because their privilege is so ingrained that they don’t even realize it’s present. But just as there is white privilege, there is hetero privilege and cisgender privilege. For instance, cisgender people — who identify with the gender they were assigned at birth — don’t have to give a second thought about their access to public restrooms, whether a glance at their identification will warrant humiliation by someone who deems its marker inconsistent with their appearance, or about strangers feeling obliged to ask 14 TUVMAG.COM July+August 2016

3. Ask yourself if you’re occupying a space more appropriate for someone else. Too many workshops I attend are primarily delivered by cisgender males speaking about the transgender female experience, despite lacking any intimate perspective on what it means to be trans at all. Be mindful that working in collaboration with trans or LGBT people does not mean you must take the lead, but simply that you should contribute your skills and abilities to further our mutual goals. As a good ally, I ask that you protect the narratives of people who are not like you — however, that does not mean that I need you to speak for me. More than anything, I just need you to help create a space for me to speak for myself. 4. Don’t tokenize us. I have witnessed a number of non-profit organizations utilizing the faces, insights, stories, and ideas of transgender persons as contributors or as title holders for the sake of obtaining grant money and securing other means of funding that sustains salaries or stipends that do not include our own. However — especially when transgender people face so much hardship due to discrimination in the workplace as it is — it is especially important that these arenas which claim to serve us, protect our interests, spread our message, and fight for our equality make sure that we are properly compensated for our contributions. 5. Don’t invalidate us. Sometimes allies unintentionally ask questions or make statements that have the impact of invalidating trans people. Saying, for instance, something as simple and well-meaning as, “I accept you as you are,” can actually add to the dysphoria that many trans people are dealing with on a daily basis. We understand that being an ally doesn’t mean you know everything there is to know about trans people. We know and appreciate that you are learning more about us every day. The depth of your empathy and the scope of your support means so much to us all. Again, we thank you so much for all of your continued support. All we ask is that you know when to stay in your lane — we got this!!

Members of the LGBTQ community were not the only targets this legislative session. There were several other attempts to undermine efforts at diversity and inclusion. For instance, a bill to discontinue some funding from the University of Tennessee’s Office of Diversity and Inclusion passed by wide margins. The Governor still has time to veto this bill. In addition, the Tennessee Economic Council on Women, one of the major state organizations devoted to making sure talent, from both genders, is recognized in the workplace lost its funding. The organization had been helping Tennessee women in the workplace since 1998.

his legislative session, some on the other side of the aisle seemed committed to spending a significant amount of our time on issues that end up dividing more than uniting us. Unfortunately, very few opportunities were missed to launch a cultural war against inclusion, diversity and equality. For instance, the legislature approved SB 1556, which attempts to deny counseling services to members of the LGBTQ community. Those on the other side of the aisle argued that the bill was necessary to protect the religious freedom of counselors. The right to deny services, they insisted, was permitted under the exercise of religion clause of the First Amendment. David Fowler, a lobbyist and one of the leading proponents of the bill said: “The bill respects religious liberty and prevents the American Counseling Association from using Tennessee’s laws to promote governmentcompelled speech, contrary to the First Amendment.” Yet under the language of the new law, counselors may turn away patients based on the counselors’ “sincerely held principles.” Since “principle” means, more or less, “one’s truth,” in actuality the new law seems to give counselors the chance to deny service for any reason. This, ladies and gentlemen, potentially puts Tennessee on a very dangerous and slippery slope. What’s worse is that we saw similar legislation in Mississippi this year. Another important bill concerning the LGBTQ community was SB 2387, which was ultimately not approved. This bill would have barred transgender students in public elementary and secondary schools, colleges, and universities from using the restrooms, locker rooms, and other sex-segregated facilities that correspond with their gender identity. Fortunately, the Republican bill sponsor withdrew the bill, thanks to pressure from Democrats, concerns of business groups, and the intervention of many progressive stakeholders. It is important

The legislature could have tackled issues like expanding healthcare coverage, or infrastructure reform, or criminal justice reform — all issues that would have broadly been beneficial to Tennesseans. But it didn’t. Instead, too much time was spent this legislative session debating issues that generate unwarranted controversy, create unnecessary division, or, at best, appeal to only a very tiny minority of Tennesseans. That’s why, in 2016, we have to be laser-focused on unleashing our voices. to note that a legal opinion from the Attorney General, which was requested by Democrats, declared that hundreds of millions would be lost in federal funding if the so-called “bathroom bill” passed. Nashville Mayor Megan Barry said that the bathroom bill could cost Nashville at least $58 million. Finally, lawmakers on the other side of the aisle also submitted a bill to eliminate marriage equality in Tennessee. The bill was HB 1412 and was called by its sponsor the “Tennessee Natural Marriage Defense Act.” This bill would have directed Tennessee courts to recognize only marriages defined between one man and one woman. The bill also directed Tennessee courts to ignore the United States Supreme Court Obergefell v. Hodges ruling. The bill failed.

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FEATURED ARTICLE | BLACK GAY PRIDE

ith inclusion being the paramount destination of the queer’s journey today, many queers find the existence of a queer persons of color event, like Atlanta Black Pride, to be counteractive, citing what they perceive as voluntary exclusion. This is largely false.

Excluding those queers who are anti-assimilationists, the queer community has been knocking on the door of the dominant hetero-culture for decades, trying to get into the party. However, there is a thick lather of hypocrisy smeared on the queer community’s demand for solidarity when our own community is divided. In this context, such black gay pride events are seemingly counteractive. What is disregarded or unnoticed, however, is why these events came to exist. In this origin lies a buried truth that, when unearthed, makes evident that this isolation of queer persons of color was actually forcible, not voluntary.

Queer Are They Necessary? By Ami Dudley

PRIDE from crying out to covered ears. We now look into a mirror instead of the window of the dominant white queer culture. To find fault in us for creating a mirror so that we can finally be able to see ourselves is simply selfish. The question now is: “Is it necessary to maintain these queer persons of color events?” Because these establishments were birthed from exclusion, the answer to this question depends on the expiration of exclusion. These establishments are nourishing to queer people of color. So, if you are going to remove them, then you must replace this source of nourishment with another that is just as nourishing, if not more. The only source that qualifies for this is the absolute understanding of the queer person of color’s experience as different and therefore warranting of both recognition and advocacy.

The seemingly great stride our society made in race-relations and the presence of a president of color often cloaks the fact that, just over 50 years ago, segregation was the law of the land. Until The Civil Rights Act of 1964, blacks and whites were much like oil and vinegar, coexisting but never actually mixing. It is comforting for many to advertise, in conversation, the great leap that we have taken in such a short period of time. While this leap should be celebrated, it should not dilute the still permeable prejudices that exist today. These prejudices are a continuation of an unyielding temperament. This is a temperament of “other” where the dominant culture views differing cultures as a lesser “other.” While many may see this assessment as a sentimental one, the presence of segregation both in law and in practice was and still is fact. Today, separate establishments based on race exist for the governing reason of a lack of diversity in the dominant [white] establishments. The most exemplary of establishments birthed from exclusion are in the entertainment industry, like the BET Awards which, when created, provided a stage for black artists who felt they would never see the curtain open on the white stages of other music award ceremonies. The hashtag #OscarsSoWhite flooded our social media timelines this year because of the lack of persons of color represented in the Oscar nominations. Basically, any industry, including politics and corporate America, that has a hand in architecting our societal landscape is largely white. As a result, the “colored voices” go unheard. Likewise, queer media largely lacks diversity. Queer film, T.V., music, and press consist of predominately white faces and voices. So, the majority of experiences shared and portrayed are white queer experiences. This blueprint is the archetype for queer prides as well. Parallel to the plight of the Black American’s struggle for recognition and inclusion into society is that of the queer Black American. Queer persons of color pride events are essentially the Negro Leagues of queer pride events. Pride should not only be a time to celebrate our queerness but to also discuss and find solutions to the problems that result because of it. The intersection of race and queerness breeds numerous problems and should therefore be discussed, but it is largely overlooked. As a queer person of color, I walk a different path in society, so the map you use may not be helpful to me.

Ami Dudley

The queer Black American or any queer person of color has had to work doubly hard for inclusion because they are seeking solidarity with both the dominant white hetero-culture and the dominant white queer culture. They are knocking on the door of society, only to enter the home and find that the door to queer society’s room is locked. This struggle has inevitably led to the creation of black queer pride events. Following in the footsteps of our ancestors, we stopped knocking on the doors, our knuckles raw, and began to build our own homes. These “homes” welcome familiar faces and shared experiences. These “homes” provide long-awaited platforms for voices that grew hoarse

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17 TUVMAG.COM July+August 2016

UNLEASHED IN DC | PRIDE

eing lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer is no longer unheard of. While it is certainly more difficult to be LGBTQ in some communities and societies than in others, thanks to the media and especially the internet, few people with access to technology can claim to have never heard of or seen people of differing sexual orientations and gender expressions. Yet LGBTQ Pride is still important. Legislation recently passed in southern U.S. states proves that ignorance, hatred, and fear remain. Bigotry masquerades as “religious freedom” bills and public restroom policy. These should give all of us more of a reason to let our freak flags fly – especially the rainbow variety. My maturity allows me to remember when things were different; there was no parade because there was no pride, certainly not publicly. I was part of the inaugural DC Black Pride in 1990. LGBTQ pride events, including various Black LGBTQ celebrations around the country,

have changed since then. There are now corporate sponsorships and government proclamations. What hasn’t changed is that the work has to be done 365 days a year. Part of my work is “The Ask Rayceen Show.” This is a live event I host in DC on first Wednesdays of the month, March through November. All are welcome, but we have an audience that is primarily QPOC (Queer People of Color). The show is as unapologetically Black and Queer as I am. “The Ask Rayceen Show” functions as a safe space for people to socialize, network, exhibit talents, promote businesses, and publicize organizations. I am not only known as “The Queen of the Shameless Plug” because I don’t pass up opportunities to promote the show and other Team Rayceen events, but also because I make a point to promote the work other people are doing and give them recognition. Disseminating information is important; one never knows what might improve another person’s life. I’ve been an activist my entire life because I have always been active in my community. As a child, this meant my neighborhood in Washington, DC. As an adult, this meant the LGBTQ community as well. I may not have attended every march and rally, but I did what I could and seized what opportunities arose. Sometimes this meant hosting fundraisers; sometimes it meant counseling people in crisis or offering encouraging words. I may not be able to fix every person’s problems, but I can at least help them feel that they are not alone and that someone cares. Perhaps it is this position and not merely my flowing muumuus to which the moniker “Goddess of DC” can be attributed.

PRIDE DOING THE WORK OF

RAYCEEN PENDARVIS, HRH

Please follow Rayceen Pendarvis, Team Rayceen, and “The Ask Rayceen Show” on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

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Doing the work 365 days a year is exhausting and often thankless. When our venue of the past two years closed unexpectedly and “The Ask Rayceen Show” was essentially homeless, I was devastated. I hit the streets to find a new venue while Zar, the show’s production director, sent numerous emails and inquiries via social media. Asking for nothing more than a space to have our show a few hours each month, offering venues a crowd of potentially 100 people monthly, we were truly disappointed by the indifference with which our community responded. Our show is a free community event and an alternative to the often unfriendly atmosphere of many LGBTQ establishments. We display art, showcase performers, have panel discussions, chat with politicians, and so much more. But without a venue, none of that can happen. Doing the work is hard. You have to work with what your community has to offer. The people in charge are the people in charge. You frequently have to work with people who are scatterbrained, incompetent, shady, rude, inconsiderate, and/or unkind. People forget, become confused, lose track, change their minds, and sometimes lie. This is why it’s important to cultivate good partnerships and alliances with those who share your vision. Team Rayceen collaborates with Reel Affirmations, DC’s LGBT Film Festival, and OutWrite, DC’s LGBT Book Festival. There are local businesses which contribute to our gift bags and raffles. Spunk Lube sponsors our printed show fliers. I make promotional appearances at various events and do what I can to support worthy causes. Being told “No” has not stopped me; I know there is a “Yes” to be found elsewhere. For most people who identify as LGBTQ, being told “No” is a regular occurrence. Pride celebrations remind us that we are not alone in this. We are more than what the media portrays. We are not what the bigots accuse us of being. We are a beautiful rainbow of people from various backgrounds who face similar obstacles. Pride celebrations are about reclaiming that which others have used to condemn and vilify us, and being proud of who we are. We must do the work 365 days a year, but during pride season, we get to celebrate. Rayceen Pendarvis is an activist, emcee, entertainer, and lifelong Washingtonian. Rayceen can be heard as a monthly guest on NYPS Network’s “Morning Tea.” In 2016, “The Ask Rayceen Show” moved to DC’s Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial Library, which is slated to close for extensive renovations. Rayceen is currently seeking a permanent home for the show – and some new muumuus.

uring the height of the civil rights era, battles were being fought and won to bring freedom and justice to blacks throughout the southern United States. The walls of prejudice and discrimination were being torn down by brave young freedom riders, lunch counter demonstrators, and others from across the country that were willing to take a stand against social injustice. My aunts along with other young people throughout my hometown of Birmingham, Alabama, were being arrested for marching through the city’s downtown streets, waving protest signs and singing songs proclaiming their freedom. All were willing to risk being beaten with bully clubs, attacked by police dogs, sprayed with fire hoses or even shot and killed by those who opposed desegregation. Their brave efforts were to ensure that all people, regardless of skin color, have the same indelible rights in the workplace, in the voting booth, in the classroom and other public facilities like bathrooms and movie theaters. While victories against discrimination of Blacks were being won in the south, the fight to end discrimination against people in the LGBT+ community was just heating up in the northern part of the country. In the early morning hours of June 28, 1969, police raided the Stonewall Inn, a popular gay bar in the Greenwich Village section of New York City. Such raids were common in the late 1960s, an era when gay sex was illegal in every state but Illinois. That night, however, the street erupted into six days of violent protests and demonstrations. The Stonewall riots, as they came to be known, marked a major turning point in the modern gay civil rights movement. The two people most credited with paving the way for modern LGBT+ rights were Marsha P. Johnson, a black transgender woman who performed as a drag queen, and Silvia Rivera, a Puerto Rican transgender woman. During the riots, Marsha reportedly dropped a heavy weight onto a police car – a powerful moment in the initial resistance. According to one biography, Sylvia yelled: ‘It’s the revolution!’ She is also cited with being one of the first bystanders to throw a bottle. Hearing stories of such resilience and resistance, along with my faith in God, has gotten me through some of my most trying times in life. While I’m now known as a successful author, journalist, motivational speaker and HIV advocate, the strength of those before me gave me the courage to fight through a deep sea of adversity to become the man I am today. When I was 4 years old, I survived a deadly house fire that I witnessed claim the life of my 2-year-old cousin. Between kindergarten and second grade, I was repeatedly sexually abused by my stepfather and forced to watch my mother being beaten by the same man. I’d grow up to eventually endure a series of abusive relationships and receive an HIV diagnosis in 1991. At 30, I found myself taking care of my ailing mother, whom I loved dearly. But my concerns over her health as well as

PRIDE my own left me in a deep depression. To cope, I turned to crack cocaine, spawning a deep addiction I secretly hoped would kill me. I found my redemption through study, work, and faith in God. At the age of 40, I began studying radio and television broadcasting and graduated with honors from Jefferson State Community College in Birmingham. Then I became a senior news reporter, producer, and anchor for Mississippi Public Broadcasting, a statewide affiliate of National Public Radio. “Lawayne, people really need to know your story,” urged my college adviser, Janice Ralya, convincing me to enter an essay contest and peel back the layers of my life to show what it’s really like to toil through mounting struggles. I entered the contest, and the essay I submitted received overwhelming support on social media. “How does a troubled black gay youth from the Deep South grow up to become one of the most respected news journalists in the country?” I asked in my essay, speaking openly about my history of childhood sexual abuse, my crack cocaine addiction, and my HIV diagnosis. But then, during my college’s honors convocation, one of the presenters read my essay aloud. It was my first time hearing my most private words read aloud to an audience. Anxiety kicked in. I was truly going public and there was no turning back. However, my dread quickly dissipated when I was called to the stage and the audience rose to its feet with thunderous applause. Then it hit me: In my essay I revealed struggles shared by so many that transcend race, gender and sexuality. That’s how my memoir, Peeling Back the Layers, began. I was deeply grateful and moved when my work for Mississippi Public Broadcasting later earned me dozens of Associated Press Broadcasters Awards as well as the Edward R. Murrow Award for Journalistic Excellence. In 2014, the Alabama Community College System named me as its most outstanding alumni in the institution’s 50-year history and created a $5,000 scholarship in my name that is bestowed on a deserving Alabama high school senior. In the Deep South, it is a sign of incredible progress for such an honor to be named after an out gay HIV-positive black man. As we celebrate this PRIDE season and reflect on the many victories we’ve won, let’s not become complacent by resting on our laurels. Keep being that loud voice on social justice issues ranging from stigma to discrimination of all kinds. Everyday we’ve got to fight for the little things, so they won’t take the big things away from us.

For more information about Lawayne Childrey and his mission visit www.lawaynechildrey.com

THROUGH FAITH, RESILIENCE & RESISTANCE BY LAWAYNE CHILDREY

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HIV / AIDS

COMMUNITY NEWS

PRIDE LGBTQ YOUTH

Reclaiming PRIDE After Experiencing Domestic Violence

Jordan Moore - Family Safety Center

he Memphis Ryan White Program Part A received over $7 million dollars this year to provide services to people living with HIV. We serve clients living in Tennessee (Shelby, Fayette, and Tipton Counties); Mississippi (Desoto, Marshall, Tate, and Tunica Counties); and Arkansas (Crittenden County). The program tries to meet people where they are in their lives because, many times, people with an HIV infection need additional support to help them address the challenges that they face. We connect all our clients to services through a medical case manager (MCM) who offers referrals and works to develop an individualized plan of care focused on helping clients meet their primary needs first, including food, transportation, and housing. This foundational approach helps to set the stage for clients’ readiness to get their HIV under control. To this end, we fund many programs to address clients’ primary needs, such as a food bank, housing assistance, emergency financial aid, and substance use treatment. Since many people in our area lack vehicles to travel to appointments, we also offer bus vouchers and other means of transportation to help clients access our services. Often with an HIV diagnosis, people face extreme stress in their personal lives and with their families. For this reason, we also have several programs that offer support for mental health, both in individual and group settings. In addition, we support medical nutrition programs for those who have problems maintaining weight due to HIV, along with medical care at several locations throughout Memphis and one in Arkansas. As the Affordable Care Act (ACA) has allowed many people to have health insurance for the first time, we have been working with clients to help them pay premiums, deductibles, and co-pays as the need arises. Recently, we were also able to allot each eligible client with up to $5,000 yearly for dental care. Meanwhile, we are still branching out in new ways to assist the HIV-positive population and prevent new HIV infections, including helping to educate providers about HIV prevention with Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP,) a daily pill that makes it almost impossible for HIV to “latch on” in a person’s body and cause an HIV infection. Finally, we are reaching out to educate communities, convincing high-risk individuals to get tested, and getting HIVpositive individuals into care as quickly as possible. The Memphis Ryan White Part A program is excited for the work ahead in helping people with HIV in this area. If you need us, we’re here. http:// hivmemphis.org/

RIDE. This simple word can mean such a variety of things, but each and every one of us deserves to be unapologetically proud of ourselves. Society tries to marginalize the LGBTQ community the same way abusers target victims. They chip away at that sense of self and individualism that makes each of us special.

At the Family Safety Center, we work with each victim one-on-one because there is no one-size-fits-all approach. LGBTQ victims have unique needs and are vulnerable to additional types of barriers in seeking help, such as fearing interactions with law enforcement or being “outted” when seeking help. This realization inspired Phillis Lewis, Victim Witness Coordinator for the District Attorney’s Office in the Domestic Violence Prosecution Unit, to establish the “Love Doesn’t Hurt” fund four years ago.

CMY

According to Lewis: “I came in contact with a victim who was in a same-sex relationship and wanted help seeking counseling. I referred her to an agency that I felt would cater to her needs but later found out from her that, instead of helping her through her traumatic experience, they focused on her sexuality. This was very upsetting to me, because domestic violence is already under-reported in the LGBT Community. When someone does come for help, it is our duty to help them without judgment. I then began a partnership with the MGLCC [Memphis Gay & Lesbian Community Center] and the Family Safety Center to bring awareness to the LGBT Community about Domestic Violence and conducted ‘Lunch & Learns’ to educate about the differences between heterosexual relationships versus homosexual ones when it came to domestic violence.”

Lewis, also known by her stage name of Freak Nasty, established an annual Love Doesn’t Hurt variety show fundraiser in March of 2012. Funds raised are housed at the Family Safety Center and used for victims of domestic violence from the Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Community to provide emergency shelter, transportation, food, clothing, and relocation for those in the Shelby County area. “I’m proud to say that since the fund was started 4 years ago, awareness has increased tremendously: last year alone, by 55%,” she says. “I feel the more that people know, it helps them to help others who are in need.” Lewis was recently honored as one of FSC’s top ten Community Advocates at our 5-Year Anniversary Gala, and her work has helped LGBTQ victims to reclaim their PRIDE and rebuild their lives. In addition to the annual fundraiser, donations designated to the Love Doesn’t Hurt Fund can also be given at any time to the Family Safety Center.

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“...It’s more than a magazine-It’s a Synergized Movement.”

TUV Mission

The Unleashed Voice Magazine will cultivate the stories of LGBTQ people with engaging and empowering conversation to people of the world about the multicultural LGBTQ Community.

TUV Vision

The Unleashed Voice Magazine (TUV Magazine) will aid the LGBTQ Community and its allies in redefining how the diverse LGBTQ person wishes to be viewed or spoken about. TUV Magazine will be the optimal print and media hub for the affluent LGBTQ consumer and those who want to be included in the “Unleashing” movement.

Eric Clemons Jamarco Lang

Lane College Bachelor’s of Arts in Interdisciplinary Studies

LeMoyne-Owen College Bachelor’s of Science in Social Work

By Steve Overman

20 TUVMAG.COM July+August 2016

(L) Jordan Moore Howard & Phillis Lewis (R)

21 TUVMAG.COM July+August 2016

CATHOLIC PRIDE

Saving theBroz

ecently, the CDC (Center for Disease Control) released information stating that Gay and Bisexual Men continue to be the most affected by the HIV epidemic in the U.S. At current rates, 1 in 6 MSM (men who have sex with men) will be diagnosed with HIV in their lifetime, including 1 in 2 Black MSM; 1 in 4 Latino MSM; and 1 in 6 White MSM. As a young Black gay male, these rates don’t surprise me. In my 26 years of living on this earth, I have had my share of friends’ lives taken by this disease. In fact, the plight has been normalized to the point where I began playing a numbers game with my sex partners. Until we reshape how we see ourselves and how others see us, we will only have touched the surface of the HIV issue. We as individuals have to get past the fear of HIV and understand that HIV Lives Matter. It seems a bit misguided to believe that Black and Brown Lives Matter and yet NOT believe that HIV Lives Matter, when the aforementioned stats make it rather clear that two walk the same path. And yet HIV lives are not typically valued in the African American Community because HIV is mistakenly regarded as “the curse of the fags.” In reality, HIV is the curse of all people. Everywhere we go, everyone is screaming, “Get tested!” and “Get into care!” We can get everyone tested and linked, sure, but if we are ever going to achieve an AIDS/ HIV-free generation, testing and PrEP cannot be our only methods. For instance, over the last few years, providers, community leaders, and advocates have all done a great job of educating, testing, and getting people linked. However, we are having a hard time getting people to remain in care long enough to achieve viral suppression (when the HIV virus is so low that it is unlikely to be spread). Testing and PrEP need interventions to go along with them — and not just any interventions, but ones that are created for and by Black and Brown Gay males. When we create these interventions, we must allow them to be delivered to those for whom they were intended. When it comes to Black and Brown gay males, we need to address the whole man. To be perfectly honest, HIV is not even the greatest problem facing Black and Brown same gender loving men — homelessness, drug abuse, acceptance and affirmation, lack of education on all health disparities physical and mental alike are instead at the top of the list. The value of our brothers is far greater than grant dollars, training, and speeches of hope. Even the mindsets of Brown and Black boys must change; we have to see ourselves as much more than sexual gods and/ or goddesses. Taking pride in ourselves enough to love ourselves and take care of ourselves is how we will Save Our Brothers. I want to take a moment to thank all the women and advocates from among other races for the work they have done in the Black and Brown Gay Community; in the same breath, I must challenge my fellow Black and Brown brothers to pick up the torch. If we are to counteract the rates that the CDC reported, we need all hands on deck. So as we celebrate our Black Gay Pride, let us not only get tested — let us get involved.

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By Judah Lion James

grew up in North Memphis, in a poor area known as Frayser. I’m proud to claim it as my home. This may come as a surprise to locals because if you are from here, it’s not a section one would want to be associated with, much less brag about, but I do claim it with pride as my roots. Most people from Frayser will tell you they avoid admitting it because of how people will perceive them. In fact, growing up, Frayser was often the punch line of jokes that dealt with cars on cement blocks, everyone being related, couches on front porches, and missing teeth. You get it. But it’s my birthplace, and I’m not ashamed to say so. Society tries to teach us to be proud of what’s popular, cool, and “mainstream,” and to disparage everything else. Unfortunately, society does not always like “different.” The world prefers we all fit somewhere in the middle of the bell-shaped curve, and it frowns upon those in the margins. This lens gives us a view of the majority as the normal and therefore the minority as the abnormal. Social norms are exactly what they infer – average, common, normal. We learn at a young age to fit in or else be picked on by others, so we are careful not to claim certain things about ourselves. Anything different, well, it gets picked on by the in-crowd. Admitting you come from Frayser is asking to be teased. Growing up in a conservative church and coming out is bordering on insanity. I was talking with a family member about the Gay and Lesbian Persons Ministry that I help coordinate within the Catholic Ministry, and they commented that they just didn’t understand why we had to

have our own ministry. “Why do you have a make a big deal out of being different and make yourselves stand out from the rest of the church? Why does anyone have to know what you are? Why can’t you just be happy joining existing church groups and fit in with everyone else if you want to belong?” (In other words, why can’t you just act normal and not stick out?) People who are

already accepted for who they are just don’t understand what it’s like to grow up in the margins, the punch line of others’ jokes. Until you live in the minority, you have no perception of life outside the margins.

and help them see through our eyes. You see, as we mature, we begin to see life through a new lens that we created, not the one we were taught to look through to view the world. Whether our birthplace, our religion, our political views, our skin color, or our sexual orientation, we begin to see and embrace ourselves for who we are and not who others think we should be. We choose not to hide the parts of us that are outside societal ‘norms,’ and in fact, we openly declare them. We accept, embrace, and yes, celebrate, that which makes us, us. And we are not ashamed. We join together as communities to support and lift each other up to free ourselves from the chains of prejudice and inequality. We free ourselves of the clouded lenses the world told us to look through, and we see how God made each of us uniquely beautiful in our own way. This is truly something to celebrate, to be proud of and to share. I salute The Unleashed Voice Magazine for encouraging all of us in the LGBTQ community to find our voice, claim who we are, own it, unleash it… Yes, I’m a gay, Catholic woman, and yes, I’m from Frayser and proud of it.

Why does our Catholic Ministry with Gay and Lesbian Persons ministry exist? We exist for the same reason as any other support group: to listen, to heal, to welcome those who have been hurt or made to feel unwelcome. We exist for those who struggle to belong. We exist to provide the love, acceptance, and mercy missing in their lives — to remind them to be proud and embrace who they are. And yes, we also exist to educate the majority

Life Outside By Beth Truoy

The Margins

MSM PRIDE

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MSM PRIDE

hat is up with this whole, “no fats, no fems, no old heads” phenomenon?! Is this something new? And what’s the big deal?

The “no fats, no fems, no old heads” ordeal has more than likely been a staple in the same-gender loving (SGL) community for years; however, with the current popularity of online dating and hook-up apps, people can choose romantic and sexual partners with the click of a mouse or swipe of a phone. So what’s the problem with being choosy when selecting a mate, especially for hook-up or sexual purposes? On one hand, of course there’s nothing wrong with having a vibrant sexual life with no strings attached. On the other hand, when it comes to online rejection because of weight, femininity, or older age, what differentiates preference from prejudice? Since society today is more accepting of the LGBTQ community, online sites and hook-up apps have become the ultimate catalysts for SGL men of color seeking sex in a convenient and formulaic way. On many of the popular hook-up apps and sites that SGL men use, particularly men of color, the “no fats, no fems, no old heads” rhetoric is a very prominent declaration of how specific and intentional SGL men of color have openly become as it pertains to their sexual appetite. So why exactly is it that SGL men of color have become so frank and unapologetic with the “no fats, no fems, no old heads” clause? Is it not enough to simply respond to a message with, “I’m not interested, but thanks?” whenever a profile picture happens to reveal an inconsistency with personal preference? I get it; some people want to be clear and direct. But I fear this is a slippery slope that can easily manifest unintended consequences on our community’s already delicate well-being.

NO OLD HEADS Preference or Prejudice? By Martavius Hampton

Take the “no fats” component. SGL culture is obsessed with body image, a reality that is apparent everywhere from mainstream magazines to pornography. One must be toned, have some muscle definition, and must definitely not possess a prominent belly. Thus, it is common to find many SGL men paying “too much” attention to their diet and gym routine, which concerns me with respect to the eating and body image issues that plague so many SGL men as it is. In fact, SGL men suffer from higher rates of eating disorders and body dissatisfaction than their straight counterparts. Fortunately, there are subcultures among SGL men, especially among white men, who avidly accept and embrace larger body types.

LGBTQ YOUTH PRIDE Accompanying this “no fats” specification is an immense dislike and off-putting attitude against effeminate SGL men, particularly among SGL men of color. As an SGL man of color, one is often confronted by a demanding sense of having to prove one’s masculinity. If one cannot adhere to such standards, negative consequences frequently culminate in low self-esteem and internalized homophobia. This anti-femininity rhetoric stems from a society that is still engulfed in sexism. To be a man who takes on so-called womanly traits is to be regarded as unattractive and unbefitting of value outside of the bedroom. Then there is the “no old heads” segment, which is merely a product of our society’s fear of aging. But for SGL men especially, getting old means becoming undesirable. For instance, the horrifying event of turning 30 in the SGL community is one event that many SGL men particularly dread. Even Queer as Folk once had an episode depicting a funeral-styled birthday party for one of the characters turning 30. I’ve even heard that men in the SGL community are supposed to add five to seven years to their age to determine their maximum dating range; this manifests in how SGL men use online sites and hookup apps to select younger sexual partners and reject older sexual partners.

Becoming America’s Youngest Gay Married Couple

So, is there a problem? Maybe. SGL men should be able to make their own sexual decisions without being ashamed or condemned — so yes, I think it’s great that SGL men have more options and opportunities to experience the social and sexual realms of other SGL men. However, it does become troubling when a preference turns into a statement that blatantly disqualifies a group of people from dateability before any aspect of their actual character has ever been brought into consideration. Thank goodness that some of the app companies and advocates are slowly trying to address this phenomenon.

I guess only time will tell…

By David Harris & TreDarrius Anderson

oth born and raised in Memphis, Tennessee — a state where there is no support and no progress for young black gay men like us — we met as teenagers in July of 2010 via direct message on Twitter. People would say that we found love in an “abnormal” way since so many relationships end because of social media, and yet social media was only the beginning for us. Initially, our relationship was very low-key, or as the community would call it, down-low. After making our relationship official on October 17, 2011, we began to express our love for one another more publicly. One day after taking some photos, we decided to come out on Instagram, feeling as though we’d receive much more support by coming out over social media than by just coming out to our family and friends. Minutes after our reveal, friends congratulated us for being so brave and birthed #DavidAndTreDarrius as our followers began sharing our photo using the hashtag. Since then, as years passed, the love between us only became stronger, and TreDarrius decided to take it to the next level, proposing at a local restaurant. Of course, we took our engagement public, announcing the milestone

24 TUVMAG.COM July+August 2016

to our Instagram followers. Months later, we were contacted by a television production company, Cineflix Productions, inviting us to have our nuptials featured as part of a new reality television series, “My Teenage Wedding,” for which our episode debuted March 8, 2013 on Slice TV in Canada. On December 7, 2012, we took a bus to Washington, D.C. and applied for our marriage license at the District of Columbia Marriage Bureau. On January 17, 2013, we flew back to Washington, D.C. to obtain our marriage licenses. On January 18, 2013, in front of the Lincoln Memorial, we were legally married by Rev. James H. Burch. Our wedding ceremony took place on January 19, 2013 at Memphis, TN’s Chimes and Occasions. With both of us being 19 years of age, we were described as possibly being “America’s youngest gay couple to marry in the country.” We never imagined that marrying each other would make headlines. We didn’t think the world would take our wedding video as seriously as it did, but the response from the public was truly amazing. We went from having no family want to support us, to having thousands of strangers send us love from all over the world. At the same time that the world was praising us, we had people

telling us that we’d never make it a month, or even a week. Every day, we’re inundated with news stories of challenges facing the LGBTQ community. It seems that our stories of success and love get lost among the debates. Yet here we are today, standing stronger than ever, with a prosperous future ahead of us. On December 7, 2014, we were proud to receive the “Gentlemen of Promise” award at the 3rd Annual Gentlemen’s Ball presented by the Gentlemen’s Foundation. On a mission to promote self-affirmation, dignity and equal rights, we hope to continue inspiring the community for years to come, through our non-profit organization Guys With Pride (GWP) which takes a positive stance against discrimination, violence and bullying toward lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender persons. We also work to increase awareness and celebrate diversity, as opposed to shame and social stigma. Facebook: www.facebook.com/DavidAndTreDarrius

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SPIRITUALITY

n the 21st Century, one would believe that as time progresses then so do the people. However, at times, that just is not so. It’s sad that we are still living in the Civil Rights era of Dr. Martin L. King, Jr., Rosa Parks, Thurgood Marshall and the Little Rock Nine, who challenged racism in the 1950s and 1960s. Their fight was to make America just and good for all of humanity. Yet we find ourselves in 2016 still fighting the same fight, a reality which illustrates that history does repeat itself, especially when there is no correction to the behavior. In the face of such a reality, we have been challenged, “To leave the world better than we found it,” which is one of the mottos of Relationships Unleashed that I’ve come to adore. So the question becomes how do we do that as gay people living in a heteronormative world?

pray away. I don’t care how much hocuspocus, voodoo or witchcraft you try to do. It is embedded in your DNA. It’s easy for others to “Monday morning quarterback” and say it’s a “choice” or “lifestyle.” However, to be your authentic self is no choice or lifestyle. You are a creation; there are times when you have to remind yourself that. Upon creating you, God mused in approval, “…it was very good” (Gen. 1:26-28, 31). So for me to know that God loves me, affirms me, embraces me, and accepts me is all the validity I need to keep living. Far too often I’d found myself bothered by rejection — in the church, on the job, in the community, by family, and beyond. But what I later realized was that if I had never experienced rejection, then I would never have known what true love and acceptance really look like.

Tradition, self-hatred, fear and even trying to “just fit in” have at some point or another taught us not to take pride in our sexuality. I, too, remember hiding behind a mask and declining to fully embrace my God-given sexuality. I wasn’t as vocal about it then as I am now; my mom had instilled in me not to let my left hand know what my right hand was doing. Such old traditional clichés stuck with me because there seemed to be some validity to the theories they expressed. But I quickly realized that what’s in you will eventually come out, and in essence this has helped me to take ownership over my sexuality — no more hiding, and no more creeping. After a fifteen year samesex relationship, my fiancé and I owed it to ourselves to be open and honest enough to take pride in who God had created us to be. To have pride conveys that you respect who God created you to be — and that you deserve to be respected for who God created you to be.

As the pastor of the Cathedral of Praise Church of Memphis, Inc., I am here to reach the masses. I can say that I am proud to know that my congregation is charged with building a better community for all. The LGBT community has been a sector that has been largely forgotten about and rejected, and for as ingrained a facet as its sexuality. My challenge to all congregations is for more individuals to be intentional in ministering through the same love and acceptance of our LGBT community as we extend to others. This is the post Civil Rights fight: break cultural barriers, address LGBT issues, become loving and supportive. #LGBTlivesMatterToo! #GayPrideMemphis2016 #iAmCathedral

One thing I have learned is that one’s sexuality isn’t something a person can just

PRIDE and Sexuality Something You Can’t Pray Away

MSM owadays it seems like 2nd nature to hop in your Man Crush Monday (MCM) or your Woman Crush Wednesday’s (WCW) DMs like a kid on a playground.

With sites like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat, it comes so easy. And everybody who’s anybody will more than likely have an account on one of those sites. They’re fun, free and most important of all… instantaneous! You can give the world a glimpse of you, one selfie at a time (or with an annoying video of you licking your tongue out like a dog, if you prefer). So what really happens when you sliiiiiiiiiide in those DMs??? Things can go really good… or things could go bad real quick. It’s up to you whether to take those chances. You sliding in the DM can look real cute, and that MCM or WCW can become your future bae. Or it can turn sour, and you could become the next meme blasted on social media for “thirst.” I would hate for you to become that person, so be careful.

3. Keep it real. You’ve got to be yourself. Don’t go around fronting on social media. The truth always comes to the light. If you’re snapping pics in your friend’s new True Religion Jeans and don’t even own a pair, then we shall judge you. What happens if that was bae’s favorite pic of you, and bae asks you to wear them? What you gon’ say then??? Think of something quick! Nothing is worse than going on a date with someone you think is the life of the party but turns out to be a wallflower with a bad attitude and a fake Michael Kors purse/wallet. #YouDisqualified

5. NO screenshots. This is a major violation! SOUND THE ALARMS! Screenshotting is all fun and games until it happens to you. We all do it, but try to stay away from screenshotting the DM. It’s kind of like a private conversation behind closed doors.

4. Do some investigating. Something you don’t want to do is break up a happy home, apartment, trailer, condo or even hotel room. Now that’s just tacky. I know some people are very private in their relationship, but do a little research before you slide in the DM. Neglecting this step is one sure way to get caught up — because if your bae has a bae, then you could be in for some big trouble. If they get caught, then you better believe that homeboy or homegirl will turn on you and make you seem thirsty, and/or their bf/gf will come aiming for your head. So do yourself a favor and avoid all of that with a little due diligence.

We’ve all seen the greatness of DM hopping. We’ve seen cute relationships come from that one brave soul daring to slide through first. But then we’ve also seen the sad and unfortunate soul that got rejected and became the next online sensation. Nobody wants to be that sad soul on Facebook.

Unfortunately, anything in black and white is fair game, and it lasts forever. If you put it out there, then just know that it can come back to haunt you. Not only will the meme police be on alert, but employers and other people look at things like your social media.

But if you follow these simple rules, I think you’ll be just fine — as long as you remember… enter at your own risk!

We all wish there was a science to sliding in the DMs, or at least a manual that we could go by. But there isn’t. So I asked around and my trusted panel of DM experts came up with a few rules you should abide by: 1. Pay attention! You’ve got to pay attention when that guy or girl is flirting with you through social media. Do they like ALL your pictures? Have they gone on a liking spree? Did they go back 5,482 weeks to like a picture of your Sunday dinner? My experts all agree that this might be a sign that you could become their MCM or WCW. You just have to take the chance on sliding in the DMs to see what’s “popping.” 2. Stay on top of your game. My DM experts came to the conclusion that you have to be A1 for a good outcome of sliding in somebody’s DM. If you get wishy-washy, then that person might not take the “bait” and you get that friend zone message real quick. Be consistent! Don’t wait three days to reply. But at the same time, don’t sit and wait by the phone. Again, nobody wants to be at the butt of a “thirst” meme.

DM It goes down in the

or “Enter At Your Own Risk” By Eddie Wiley

By Dr. Darnell Gooch, Jr. | Cathedral of Praise Church of Memphis, Inc. | Pastor/Founder

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POLITICS |

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COMMUNITY NEWS

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FEATURED ARTIST JACKSON MS-PRIDE

PRIDE HEALTH & FITNESS

BLACK PRIDE

PSYCHO

elika Jett was born in Memphis, TN. Her stage name PSYCHO came from her little brother, whose nickname was Lunitic. He encouraged her to start rapping and always told Melika that her swag was crazy and her lyrics were psycho. The siblings formed a rap group and began creating music together.

but she is also an awesome athlete. At Memphis Central High School, she played basketball, softball, and volleyball. She also ran track. Her athleticism landed her a basketball scholarship to Jackson State University where she won awards, including Freshman of the Year and SWAC All-Star Team. Melika becomes the MVP for everything she pursues.

In 2000, Psycho met Goldfingas in New Orleans. At the time, Goldfingas was with a record label in Tampa, FL called Ridin Dirty. Two years later, they had all left Ridin Dirty to start their own record label. Goldfingas, Psycho, and Lunitic founded GUMBO in 2002. Melika is not only a phenomenal lyricist

She has recorded and written hundreds of songs with street edge, a raspy sound, real stories and a unique style. Goldfingas production is proud to launch this bright artist into the limelight. Melika has arrived on the scene and the world is ready to receive her.

hat is “perfect”? Who came up with the idea that we all have to fit into one box, one category, in order to be considered beautiful or feel accepted? One person’s idea of ugly may be another person’s idea of art — or like my grandfather used to say, “One man’s trash is another man’s gold.” I’ve had the great fortune of working with people from all walks of life, and I am here to announce that we are all a little self-conscious about something. Whether it be sagging knees, a slur in your speech, or one eye that doesn’t open quite as wide as the other, we all have something that we don’t like about ourselves. It’s easy to feel inadequate when every magazine and commercial you see is wrought with figures that have been digitally enhanced and altered. In your mind, you know it’s photo-shopped… but you can’t think past that perfection in presentation. All you find yourself thinking is, “Damn, I wish I had that body.” If that sounds like you, then keep reading because I have a few tips I want to share for viewing your body differently and feeling proud to be in the skin you’re in! #1. Stop the comparison game! You’re hurting yourself when you compare yourself to anyone else. Everything that glitters isn’t gold. For instance, just because someone looks slim doesn’t mean they’re healthy. In fact, the term “skinny fat” refers to an individual who is visibly skinny yet consumes large quantities of unhealthy foods that would generally make most people fat. So the problem with this comparison game is that you have no idea what any apparently slim person truly has going on in their metabolism and genetics. So if you try to eat like them, you may have adverse effects. In reality, skinny fat people suffer the same nutritional deficits and health detriments as those who visibly exhibit excessive weight. Even if the negative effects are not apparent on the outside, skinny fat people usually have large amounts of internal fat which coats their organs and can cause a litany of health issues in the future. Needless to say, this is nothing you should want to aspire to! #2. Accept the things that you cannot change! I used to feel bad about having big lips, but I have since changed the way I view them. When people try to make fun of my big lips now, I clap back with something like, “The Kardashians are spending millions to look like me.” When one of my friends jokingly told me that my skin was too dark, I immediately corrected him by replying, “White people are out here catching skin cancer by baking in the sun for hours on end, so I’ll enjoy my extra melanin, my extra skin protectant.” Learning to embrace myself took years, and I don’t claim to have perfected the craft — but I refuse to allow society to make me feel bad about a single one of my God-given features! #3. Be realistic! You were only given one body, and your genetics will only take you so far. Considering that most of what you see in the media is photoshopped, you should start to mentally break down the illusions. Every time I look at anything online, my mental checklist kicks in with instant reminders of what’s really going on behind the scenes: lighting, makeup, angles, expensive cameras, and professional digital enhancement. I remember my first time meeting Toni Braxton. I was expecting to meet a 5’9 runway model but was instead met by a barefaced 5’2 black queen. And I dare not suggest that I was let down in the slightest because I wasn’t! This is just one of countless examples of photoshopped celebrities who simply do not look the same in person!

You are only granted a certain number of days on earth, and none of them are supposed to be spent hating your body. So please take as much pride in your body and your health as you do in staying abreast of the latest celebrity trends and gossip. You are bound to find that you really do like yourself after all! 30 TUVMAG.COM July+August 2016

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TRANS-MOVEMENT Our time is NOW! Model: Reginae “Honey“ Buchanan Photographer: Angie+Ike Photography

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