Forgotten Facts

Courtship in South Andros in the 1950s

Keith Otterbein’s 1966 book, The Andros Islanders, is a study of family organisation in the Bahamas, specifically in South Andros, in 1959. The author explains the close ties between mothers and their children, domestic units dominated by females, and high frequencies of female-headed households around Long Bay Cays.

A man who grows up in Long Bay Cays is taught that he must build a house for his wife-to-be and this is a primary value to every adult male in the community.

When he is about 18 years, a young man starts saving to pay for building materials, even before he finds a girl to court. Often, he leaves Andros temporarily to earn the needed money and goes to the United States “on the contract”, an arrangement made by the Bahamas government for men to work as agricultural labourers. He will be paid only a portion of what he earns, another portion going into the Post Office Savings Bank, to the worker’ account.

When he returns to Andros, he starts building his house, while he looks for a girl to court. Most such workers go “on the contract” more than once. In a few more seasons, he earns enough for that house. While he is in US, construction will continue, paid for by the government-held funds. He must also pay for furniture, the one expensive item being the bed. The girl is expected, but not compelled, to provide a dowry – bedspreads, blankets, linens, towels, maybe a sewing machine.

A man is not permitted to court, or mate with, any female member of his kindred, which extends as far back as genealogical connections can be remembered by his oldest relatives. If he selects a girl distantly related to him, his mother will inform him of the relationship and, since he has not yet begun courting her, it is unlikely that there has been time for an attachment to have formed, so the man will not attempt to disregard his parents’ wishes.

Being related to many of his fellow villagers often forces a man to seek a wife in another village. When he decides whom to court, he consults his parents, to discover their views of her family. Certain families are considered not respectable, because of the behaviour of their women.

When a young man has decided who he would like to court, he can send a letter to her parents, asking permission to visit their home as a suitor. If the letter is not returned, he knows his request has been granted and he begins visiting, after accompanying the girl home from school or church.

Several months into the courtship, the man gives an ‘engagement letter’ to the girl and her mother. The mother insists on such a letter, drawn up by a lawyer, a minister, a teacher, a justice of the peace or the Commissioner. When the letter, together with the engagement ring, arrive, the girl usually grabs the ring and the mother the letter. The ring, which is bought in Nassau, is a gold band with a heart on it; engagement rings are all alike. If the mother decides against the marriage, she returns the suitor’s letter.

PAUL C ARANHA

FORGOTTEN FACTS