2017|The Times
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Table of contents 4 | on trend Stay on top of the latest fads to hit the wedding scene 8 | Making history Weddings have come a long way since the days of dowries. 10 | a bright wedding Follow these tips for a whiter smile on your special day. 12 | pin it! Finding do-it-yourself ideas has never been easier. 16 | TOP TEN TIPS A professional photographer offers advice on keeping down wedding day chaos.
24 | honeymoon haven Keeping close to home can be just as romantic. 26 | before ‘I do’ Counseling prior to the big day may be wise. 28 | 60 years strong A lasting marriage has as much to do with laughter as love. 30 | venues A list of North Georgia wedding venues.
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BRIDES Staff
General manager Norman Baggs
Editor
Keith Albertson
Creative Director Michelle Jameson
Advertising director Leah Nelson
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Want to place your engagement and wedding announcement in The Times newspaper? It’s easy. All you have to do is going www.gainesvilletimes.com and download the announcement forms from our website. Scroll to the bottom of the home page and click on “Anniversaries PDF” “Engagement PDF” or “Wedding PDF.” Fill out the form and email it to us at couples@ gainesvilletimes.com.
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One of the big wedding trends for 2017 is keeping it casual with backyard ceremonies, non-religious venues and comfort foods.
On trend 2017 is filled with new wedding ideas and continues with some of last year’s best movements
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By Bekah Porter
bride needs nothing more than a smile and true love to be beautiful. Unfortunately, we can’t help you find your one-and-only (at least that we know of), but we can make sure that the beam on your face as you walk down that aisle is blindingly bright.
agents to determine this year’s biggest trends. Here’s what they had to say: Pink. Everything pink. Specifically a pale blush pink with gold accents. “That’s definitely very popular,” said Jordan Flowers, bridal consultant and owner of Wedding Belles in Atlanta. “You’ll definitely be seeing a lot of blush and golds as color choices. It’s easily the most popular color combination.” Other colors that are topping bride’s wish lists are pale blues and vivid lilacs.
One of the best ways to ensure a dazzling smile is to make sure everything you see as you make your way to the altar is lovely and on trend. Well, that, of course, and making sure the one waiting at the altar is your destiny. To know what brides across the region are planning for 2017, we’ve talked to wedding planners and florists and travel
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Mismatched bridesmaid dresses. Bridesmaids can relax with the knowledge that the wedding industry has finally reached the conclusion that one
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dress does not fit all. Pale blush pink and gold accents At least, not all in the are gaining in popularity along with lilac and pale blues. same way. Bridal party members can eagerly anticipate being able to pick out their own dresses in their own styles, with the only stipulation being that they should purchase their gown in a shade of a certain color. Groomsmen can also plan to be part of this trend, with many grooms choosing to let their attendants wear whichever suit suits them best, as long as it stays in a shade of color. Picture a group of men in varying shades of brown, with one groomsman wearing tan, another wearing chocolate, another wearing amber.
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Fall weddings. While the season most associated with weddings might be spring, expect that to change. Planners and venues said that more and more Georgia residents are choosing fall to host their wedding, as it guarantees cooler temperatures and more colorful outdoor venue options. “It’s easily the heaviest wedding season,” Flowers said. Posies. While bouquets and corsages haven’t yet gone extinct, more and more wedding parties are skipping the more traditional look to instead carry three or four flowers vined
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together in a small bouquet known as a posy. “Mothers of the bride and groom are especially taking part in this trend,” said Dee Rising, wedding consultant at Occasions Florist in Gainesville. “The mothers and bridesmaids are carrying these posies and then repurposing them at the reception as decoration by setting them on the edge of the bar or on the gift table.” And odds are that these posies, as well as the larger bouquets, will have an English garden feel to them. “Hydrangeas, garden roses, peonies — these are still huge,” Reising said. “And lots and lots and lots of greenery. It gives the whole thing a wild feeling.” Non-religious venues. Backyard weddings are becoming more popular, local consultants say, as are unique settings that don’t involve a steeple. Becky Smith, owner of Becky’s Travel Biz, Inc., in Gainesville, says she routinely books cruises for couples looking to say “I do.” Hydrangeas are a carry over from 2016 that will remain a popular choice for both centerpieces and bouquets. Letting bridesmaids pick dresses that don’t necessarily match will be a trend for 2017.
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“I have clients who do the whole wedding on the cruise, where they get married on an island in the Caribbean and then have the reception on the ship,” she said. As Georgia’s brewing industry grows, planners are also seeing more couples choosing to host their ceremony or reception in those facilities. Flowers said that Sweetwater Brewing Company in Atlanta has become an immensely popular venue for those seeking a ceremony in an unconventional venue.
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Distraction-free zones. The rise of cell phones has proved problematic for weddings. Every planner has heard stories of picture-perfect moments for the professionals being ruined by a well-intentioned guest shooting images with their phone rather than paying attention to the moment. An increasing number of ceremonies and receptions are asking guests to disconnect and stay off their phones. On the other hand, many couples have chosen the “if you can’t beat them, join them” approach, choosing their own hashtags for friends and family to use if they post photos on social media. Comfort food. Flowers said that more and more couples are choosing food they enjoy eating rather than selecting fancier fare. “I’m seeing a lot of brides doing barbecue,” she said. “They want to keep it simple.” Other comfort foods of choice include pizza and fried chicken. Keeping the guests happy. This can be everything from a photo booth to keep attendees entertained during the event to late night snacks served in the middle of the dancing. “People want to make sure their guests are happy,” Flowers said. The most memorable case of that recently, she said, is one couple who booked The Waffle House food truck to come serve late-night comfort snack food. “Now that was different,” she said. Early drinks. What’s food without a drink ... or two? Flowers said that she’s seeing more and more couples start serving cocktails at the ceremony. “As you walk into the ceremony, someone hands you a drink and says, ‘Here’s a cocktail. Enjoy,’” she said. “I think it’s pretty fantastic.” To find more ideas, vendors, photographers and to see the latest in bridal fashion, head to the 25th annual Bridal Expo at the Gainesville Civic Center from 12:30 to 4:30 p.m. on Jan. 15. Sponsored by Oakwood Occasions, The Times and Carrie Jean Photography.
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2017
Not your mama's wedding A look at marriage throughout the years By Emily Williams Throughout 40 years of officiating weddings, the Rev. Dr. Bill Coates has seen just about everything. From Garth Brooks songs during the ceremony to Thursday night nuptials, the senior pastor at First Baptist Church in Gainesville has witnessed plenty of changes to what he calls one of the most sacred days in a couple’s life. But the history of these changes goes back far beyond Coates’ time as an officiant, the pastor said. “It’s only been about 200 years that people married for love,” Coates said. “Back in the fifth century, the idea of love in a marriage was actually frowned upon and considered harmful to spirituality, because it would turn the mind toward more sexual desires.” For centuries, marriage was about connecting wealthy or powerful families, said Dr. Johanna Luthman, an associate professor of history at the University of North Georgia. Often money was exchanged as part of the transaction. “Marriages, up until the Victorian
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period, were family agreements,” she said. “It was very much a business negotiation. They didn’t have to love each other when they got married. That was something that would develop overtime.” Luthman studies the history of sex, love and marriage, focusing on Tudor and Stuart-era England. This spring, she is publishing a nonfiction book called “Love, Madness, and Scandal: The Life of Frances Coke Villiers, Viscountess Purbeck,” which tells the true story of an English woman whose parents kidnapped and whipped her in an attempt to force her to marry at age 15. Although the idea of arranged marriages did not carry over into the American wedding tradition, Luthman said the history of weddings in America
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is linked closely to the Anglican church of England’s religious traditions. For years, weddings were specifically a religious ceremony. Luthman said many elements considered wedding essentials are relatively recent. Arguably the most iconic wedding symbol, the white dress, didn’t come into prominence until 200 years ago. Luthman said the white dress was a luxury for the wealthy, while lower classes just wore their fanciest dress. It wasn’t until the 20th century that white dresses became common for workingclass women. “One of the things that we tend to think is essential in the U.S. is the white dress for the bride,” Luthman said. “That is a relatively recent invention,
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mostly developed in the 19th century. When Queen Victoria got married, she wore a white dress and started that trend, as royals tend to do.” The oldest and most prevalent wedding practice, Luthman said, is a father giving away the bride. The father was seen as head of the household and negotiator of the marriage agreement. “In both Tudor and Stuart England, the father would usually give the bride away,” Luthman said. “There are also instances with court weddings where the father of the bride would give the bride to the king to give to the groom, emphasizing the king’s role as the father of the land.” But this practice does not happen in all countries. In Luthman’s home country of Sweden, however, wedding ceremonies are different. Rather than a father walking his daughter down the aisle, couples walk down the aisle together to meet the priest at the altar, she said. One portion of the modern wedding evolved from a necessary historic practice, Luthman said. When a couple in Tudor England intended to marry, they announced the engagement at three church services. It is a practice known as “the calling of the banns.” This served as an opportunity for anyone who knew a reason the two should not marry — for example, if the bride or groom was already engaged to someone else — to “speak now or forever hold their piece.” Although this tradition is mostly ceremonial today, it was important in the early days of marriage because bigamy was punishable by death in 17th century England. As far as modern ceremonies go, Coates said one of the major the changes involves the role couples play in organizing the ceremony. When he first began officiating weddings in the 1970s, Coates said couples wanted the church to organize the details. Now, he said, the brides and grooms are taking control to customize the service. For example, Coates said it has become more common for couples to write their own vows. In addition to personalizing the wedding promise, he said this reflects changing attitudes toward sentiments in traditional vows. “There was a time when the vows always said for the woman to ‘respect, love and obey,’” he said. “Nobody uses that anymore. It’s just ‘to love and honor,’ out of respect and recognition for the role of women, thankfully.” Coates added many new wedding practices reflect changing social values. Until 2003, couples had to take a blood test to screen for genetic diseases before receiving a marriage
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license. This practice, Coates said, was more common in times when interracial marriage was illegal in the South. Another social norm that has dissipated over the years is the practice of couples waiting until after the wedding to move in together. “Now, a very high percentage of people who get married have been living together,” he said. “I would say it’s around 70 percent. When I started doing this, it was very rare for a couple to come to me and want to get married if they had been living together.” Despite these shifts, Coates said the changes in wedding culture were most prominent in the late ’80s and early ’90s. In fact, he said, today he is witnessing a shift back toward a more orthodox ceremony. “The world has changed so fast and everything is in warp speed and the idea of something ancient being spoken as it has been for centuries is rather appealing to people now,” he said. “There’s a sameness and a stability about it.” Despite the differences between matrimony of yesterday and today, Coates said one thing remains true at weddings. “The one thing that has not changed, even down through the centuries, is that when two people get married, two families get connected,” Coates said. “That is still as underscored as it ever has been. I think people like celebrating that because it adds another layer of stability.”
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Wear white on your wedding day Make your smile sparkle with teeth whiteners By Pamela A. Keene It’s the most special day of your life and you want everything to be perfect, including your photos. You’ve been planning for months, making appointments for hair stylists, makeup and manicures. But have you thought about your smile? With today’s variety of teeth-whitening options, ranging from in-office dental treatments to over-the-counter kits, what’s the best and safest method to fine-tune your pearly whites for your wedding? “People need to plan ahead if they’re considering toothwhitening,” said Ben Hawkins, DMD, with Hawkins Family Dentistry on Green Street in Gainesville. “Depending on the cause of the discoloration, the treatment process will vary. It’s important to start with a cosmetic consultation with your dentist.” Very few people are born with really white teeth, and during their lifetimes, several factors can cause teeth to yellow or darken. “Discoloration can be caused by trauma, certain medications like tetracycline, or even staining from foods and beverages,” Hawkins said. “The best approach is to identify the cause of the discoloration and address it first.” The reason for the discoloration may involve dental treatments for injury or disease. “We need to confirm that the teeth are healthy with no disease, cracks or cavities,” he said. “Get a dental exam if you’re considering whitening. Then you’ll have a better idea of your options.” For instance, if someone has experienced trauma to one or more teeth and they’ve been restored or bonded, it may take six to 12 months to lighten them. “Bonded teeth cannot be bleached and teeth that have darkened from tetracycline may not ever reach the stage of whiteness that a patient desires,” Hawkins said. “Sit down with your dentist and set realistic goals and expectations.” Using dental models and photography, Hawkins works with patients to create previews of possible outcomes.
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“In addition to whitening, we talk with our patients about what they don’t like about their smile,” he said. “It could be the shape or length of their teeth or teeth spacing. We create diagnostic models and use before and after photographs to help visualize changes.” Dental whitening has advance quickly over the past 15 or so years. Consumers now have myriad choices from whitening kits sold at retail or online to having a dentist make custom whitening trays that can be worn for anywhere from 30 minutes to a day to using them overnight. “If someone has mild staining, it’s possible to achieve several shades of lightening by using an over-the-counter product, following the label instructions,” Hawkins said. “It does require a commitment and consistent use. Many of the
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products out there today can be very effective.” Many patients choose custom-made trays and whitening products purchased from the dentist to whiten their teeth at home. The dentist takes impressions of the upper teeth and lower teeth using dental molding materials. From the impressions, the resulting lightweight trays follow the contour of the tooth surfaces. The bleaching products are available in varying strengths and patients put the liquid into the trays and wear them either
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for a set amount of time or overnight, following the dentist’s instructions. “We found that one of the most reliable ways to whiten teeth is to use night guards on both the top and bottom teeth at the same time,” he says. “And the outcomes are fairly predictable. Plus, once you’ve had the trays or night guards made, the cost of the bleaching product is about the same or lower than the over-thecounter ones.” Hawkins steers his patients away from in-office whitening. “For one, the products are stronger than those you can use over time, and this can create more sensitivity,” he said. “Research shows that combining in-office bleaching with lasers has no real effect on whitening. Plus, the effects of in-office bleaching are not as long-lasting and may not get teeth as white.” Just like with all the other details of your wedding, tooth whitening requires planning. “Don’t think you can walk into a dentist’s office two weeks before your wedding and walk out with the results you want,” Hawkins said. “Know your goal, understand the cause and give yourself ample time to get a good outcome.”
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Want to DIY? Turn to Pinterest for ideas By Jennifer Linn When it comes to Pinterest and weddings, the two go together like a bride and groom on their wedding day. A content-sharing website, Pinterest allows users to “pin” pictures to their boards, similar to an online cork board, and assemble as well as organize ideas in one digital location. “It’s a very efficient form to really try to figure out what the style is of the bride,” said Sherri Christensen, who owns Soirees Southern Events and manages Walters Barn in Lula. Soirees Southern Events is a wedding planning and floral design service, serving clients throughout the North Georgia area. Walters Barn is the business’ popular wedding and event venue. Through her company, Christensen helps brides plan their weddings and sees firsthand how the trends evolve through Pinterest. The use of the website is a growing trend since it was founded by Ben Silbermann, Evan Sharp and Paul Sciarra in March 2010. Pinterest allows brides to share ideas on everything from wedding colors and cake ideas to venues and party favors. Brides can create a Pinterest account and show wedding planners or vendors their ideas, rather than carry around a scrapbook with pictures physically cut out and glued on pages. “We’re used to people with tear-out pages from magazines,” Christensen said. “Now it’s just click and save. It makes it go so much faster to be able to open a Pinterest page and see what they like as far as colors, flowers and decor.” Pinterest is also a source of do-it-yourself ideas.
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Christensen said two of the hottest wedding DIY trends right now are chalkboards and photo booths for the wedding ceremony to the reception. And there’s plenty of pictures on Pinterest of them. “Everyone is using chalkboards,” she said. “Some are very elaborate. They are using these for everything from a program to bar menus.” For the photo booths, DIY brides craft backdrops out of fabric and make props for guests to use. Another popular DIY wedding project is backdrops for ceremonies. For outdoor weddings, some brides are designing backdrops using antique doors or window panes to set the stage for their nuptials. Pinterest also has changed the wedding favor game. Instead of beer coozies or mints, coffee bars as well as popcorn and candy stations are on the rise. Images of them are frequently shared on the website. Christensen, who is a wedding planner but designs flowers and decor, uses Pinterest herself to keep up with the trends of color combinations and flowers.
Wedding favor ideas are abundant on Pinterest and many brides use them to add a personal touch to or save money.
“It’s very helpful to be able to look at what the big trends are as well as being able to look at what my client is liking as well,” she said. Metallics are popular now and brides are leaning toward a more traditional look. “We’ve had a lot of silver, but now it’s going into a lot of golds and bronze,” she said. “A lot of people are using color
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along with metallics and not just for the holidays, year-round.” Burlap and lace mason jars were popular a few years ago but now have fallen out of style. Christensen said she sees brides trying a shabby-chic look instead of burlap. Brittney Grant, a cake maker at
Quillian’s Grill in Gainesville, also works with brides to create their cakes. And Pinterest comes in handy. “When I set up cake tastings with the bride, they bring in inspiration when they come in,” she said. Many times that means pulling up Pinterest on their smartphones to show their colors and themes. “It is a wonderful way to pull colors, so that you can really get a true idea of what the bride is going for,” Grant said of Pinterest. “With a board that’s pinned, you don’t have just one or two pictures to
choose from, you have several and it gives you a really good idea.” From there, Grant can ask the couple what they love about a particular cake or design. “Then we sketch something up that’s unique to the couple,” she said. Grant uses Pinterest and social media to share her work. She made a cake resembling a geode, with sugar crystals coming from the inside of the cake. With more than 1,000 pins, the cake got Grant a lot of leads from potential clients. Christensen said the content-sharing site can be a double-edged sword, though. Brides can get frustrated when they see ideas they like but don’t fit their budgets. Another drawback: brides see an idea from Pinterest and want to stick to it. For example, Grant doesn’t like replicating another baker’s work without permission.
Brittney Grant, cake designer at Quillians Grill, puts the finishing touch on one of her wedding cakes that was crafted from inspiration a bride found on Pinterest. Grant says about nine out of 10 brides came to her with an idea that came from Pinterest.
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tips from a photographer’s point of view Don’t let the hectic pace of the wedding get in the way of enjoying the moment Story and photos by Carrie Jean Photography
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The 2017 Bridal Expo fashion show at the Gainesville Civic Center features two custom wedding dress designers and showcases some of the hottest trends in wedding fashion.This year’s show is produced by Oakwood Occasions Events and Coordination and in partnership with Greg Hall & Company, Special Events Rental and Décor; Carrie Jean Photography; American Spa & Salon.
1. Decide what is truly important There are such a variety of traditions, timelines and “faux
pas” that at some point, the wedding industry decided that accommodation is one of the keys to planning a wedding. From first dances to cake cutting and bouquets to party favors, at the end of the day what’s really going to matter? The REAL purpose of this day is for you and your love to be married! Everything else just adds to the wonder and excitement that is
edding planning can be an exciting, wondrous, and often stressful experience for a bride. Trying to combine the variety of traditions passed down and suggested from family and friends, with her own dreams of the perfect wedding day can be overwhelming. Hearing from the perspective of an expert who has had the privilege of being a part of dozens of wedding days can often provide brides with insight in a way they might never have thought. A photographer’s perspective is one of which you can assure they’ve seen a variety of traditions, décor, cakes, wedding songs and dances, attire and favors, hors d’oeuvres, gowns and almost any other thing you can imagine. And you can almost guarantee in all of the years of experiences, a photographer has photographed potentially any and all types of wedding situations. It is with that in mind that these tips are generated in order to help brides gain the perspective from someone who’s likely to have seen it all, and photographed it all.
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the celebration of your love and your commitment to one another. These things must mean something to you, though. Decide what are the top three to five things that are most important to you on your wedding day. Don’t feel bad if it’s not what someone else feels is more important. This is your and your fiancé’s day, and you get to decide what is the priority. These are the things that should get the majority of the wedding budget, time and effort, and if there’s room for the other stuff, great! But focus on the stuff you’re excited about first, and then see what else you feel like fitting in. 2. Hire vendors YOU like If you’ve ever been a part of any wedding, you know that the bride and groom spend the majority of their wedding with their vendors. You want to choose the companies that you most enjoy, trust, and who will help you make you day more fun and less stressful. This decision is as important as is choosing the friends and family who you want standing beside you on your wedding day.
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3. Personalize your wedding Weddings these days are becoming so unique that couples really are able to express their personal style. So in the planning process, really think about what is special and meaningful to you and your fiancé as a couple. 4. Pick a coordinator A lot of venues have coordinators on-site. Make sure you
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know their role and what they are doing day of. Ensure that the coordinator has met your photographer, videographer, deejay and caterer on the day of so the wedding that everyone is on the same page regarding the timeline and who is responsible for what. Assuring that everyone is aware of what everyone else is doing will really help your special day flow more easily and will help prevent them from coming up to you to ask questions on the wedding day. If you don’t have an on-site coordinator, consider hiring a day-of coordinator to take care of all the details and to help things go smoothly. The last thing you want to be doing on your wedding day is working. 5. Delegate One thing many brides fail to do is to make things easier on themselves. They want to make everyone else happy, and they end up doing everything themselves instead of asking for help when they should. They don’t want to trouble their friends and family by asking for help. When more than likely, these loved ones will be more
Choosing the right vendors and asking for help can keep you from missing those special moments.
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than willing to help if asked. They want to help! So let them! Embrace the strengths of those closest to you and let them help you.
get things done a little at a time, and things the day of the wedding are guaranteed to go more smoothly than waiting until the last minute.
6. Don’t forget to eat and drink Stress causes people to forget to take care of themselves. Make sure your bridesmaids are bringing you water and checking in on you to make sure you are at least snacking throughout the day. The last thing that you want is for you to feel faint when the time comes for your nuptials. Don’t stress over missing something or someone. This event revolves around you, and your fiancé of course. They can’t start without you and people are there to see YOU!
8. Emergency kit Making sure that you maid of honor or planner/ coordinator has a safety kit in the event that you need something. Some key items this should contain are a minisewing kit, hair spray, safety pins, bobby pins, energy bars, stain remover (Tide-to-go pens are awesome), band-aids, deodorant, Advil and makeup remover are just a few.
7. Preplan The most stressful thing that can affect most brides is procrastination. Booking the bigger items right away, such as the photographer and the coordinator/venue, will help you feel more productive and will secure some major items for your day. The details are what can be stressful. But work with your team — yes, you and your fiancé are a team — to
9. Share the timeline Once you have a draft of your day of timeline – share it with your photographer, videographer, coordinator (if not already involved), bridal party and immediate family. Make sure everyone knows where they are supposed to be and when so that no one is out looking for your brother-in-law when bridal party photos are needing to be taken. Communication is key!
The Northeast Georgia History Center provides an elegant backdrop for weddings, receptions, and rehearsal dinners. One of our most popular venues for ceremonies is the front porch of the White Path Cabin. For booking information, call us or visit our website. www.negahc.org • 770-297-5900
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Metallics are trendy for 2017 both in wedding decor and bridal fashion.
10. It’s the marriage, not the wedding What brides seem to forget when they are planning their dream wedding is that: This is just one day. The marriage that you are committing yourself to is forever. It’s not about the process of “getting married,” but more so the fact that at the end of the day, you will “be married.” That’s what is so beautifully simplistic about the entire process. The wedding should be a reflection of individual style and
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an expression of how we feel about our partner, family and friends. It’s so important to remember to enjoy the day. Soak in the little moments, commit them to memory as much as possible because this day will go by very quickly. If you put in the time and proactively work to make the day truly “you,” then come the day of, the details will take care of themselves. Then it will be the most special and magical day of your life!
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“The last thing you want to be doing on your wedding day is working.” BRIDES
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Hello, honeymoon!
More couples keep it close after the nuptials By Bekah Porter Godfrey Barnsley arrived in Savannah in 1824 with nothing but dreams and ambition. Less than 20 years later, he had a cotton and shipping empire, a loving wife from a high society family, eight children, a sprawling acreage in North Georgia and blueprints for an ornate mansion. And while this story does have a happy ending, it’s not the one Barnsley envisioned. Before workers could complete construction, Barnsley’s wife died. While Barnsley finished the estate as a tribute to the love he shared with his Julia, they never strolled the magnificent gardens together. They never shared a romantic meal. They never rode horseback through the woods, and they never watched the sun set over the mountains. But now others can, as the property that once housed Barnsley’s hopes serves as a resort where newlyweds can
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celebrate their own love on their honeymoon. “It’s a magical, romantic place,” said Shelby Kolb, marketing director for Barnsley Resort in Adairsville. The property, snuggled in the Blue Ridge Mountains, has just about everything a couple seeking solace could desire: fine dining, lush landscaping, historic ruins, stunning views, a full-service spa and privacy. Yet it’s just one of the numerous honeymoon spots available to North Georgia residents wanting to stay close after their wedding. Such is the trend, said Jordan Flowers, bridal consultant and owner of Wedding Belles in Atlanta. While many couples still take the traditional tropical vacations to locations like Costa Rica and Hawaii, she says that she is seeing more people foregoing long trips in favor of choosing a luxurious place only
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a few hours away. “Many couples go to the Biltmore in Asheville, and others choose to go to the North Georgia mountains and get a cabin or find a resort,” she said. “They want someplace that’s not a long drive.” She said that another popular honeymoon trend is to incorporate more adventure into the days following the wedding. “Couples are wanting to do more activities and less sitting on a beach,” she said. “So, they’re going backpacking and hiking and biking and just getting out and doing.” Kolb said she sees these trends at the Barnsley Resort, where couples are able to combine that sense of doing — whether it be trekking across their golf course, riding horseback on trails, hiking the mountains or shooting at the hunting lodge — while being able to come back to the luxury typically associated with a resort. “Weddings can be a wonderful but busy time and to be able to drive just a short distance and find this very tranquil, very private retreat without having to worry about the hassle of rushing off to the flight the next day is great,” she said. “We’re ideally suited for that.” Find your honeymoon haven Other nearby popular honeymoon locations include: Amicalola Falls State Park and Lodge. This property is unique in that the park hosts the beginning leg of the famed Appalachian Trail. The high end lodge allows couples to relax in comfort when they desire while also allowing them to enjoy such outdoor activities as trout fishing, ziplining, wall-climbing, archery, hiking, and bird watching. Chateau Elan Winery and Resort. Not only is this venue the most awarded winery on the East Coast, but it also happens to have fine dining, decadent spas, outdoor fire pits, golf, hot tubs and access to the mountains. “We like to say that it’s where European luxury meets Southern hospitality,” said marketing manager Emily Traux. “You feel like you’re a world away. You’d never know you were anywhere near Atlanta.” Athens. This college town has a little bit of everything for couples looking for a low-key romantic getaway. Couples can stay in the highly rated Hotel Indigo and experience everything from the city’s 16 historic districts to Civil War attractions to night clubs to concert venues to hang gliding to sky diving to fine dining.
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Premarital counseling: Is it right for you? By Jennifer Linn Before couples walk down the aisle to unite as one, some are walking into a minister’s or therapist’s office for counseling. And the Rev. Neal Kuhlhorst, a licensed marriage and family therapist and ordained minister at John’s Creek Presbyterian Church, agrees with the proactive practice of premarital counseling. “It’s always helpful to have discussions about your relationship,” he said. “Many times people who are moving toward marriage are in infatuation, which is a wonderful, wonderful thing. But they oftentimes just take things for granted, like it’s always going to be this way.” That statement appears to be true based on the divorce rate in the United States. According to the American Psychological Association website (www.apa.org), about 40 to 50 percent of married couples divorce. Kuhlhorst said he’s read studies stating if a couple completes a specific number of hours of premarital counseling, it will decrease the likelihood of divorce by 30 percent. “That’s a plus,” he said. “I think
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another benefit is the stigma of counseling and premarital counseling has lessened in the last 10 years for couples.” Therefore, before couples tie the knot, Kuhlhorst advises his clients to identify their best practices in the relationship. “Look at what you’re doing well,” he said. “These are the things you’ll need to continue to nurture throughout the relationship. When you don’t nurture them, you’ll start having difficulties.” To help couples with the process, Kuhlhorst questions them understand the relationship. He asks them how they make the relationship a priority, meet their partner’s needs, give their partners time and attention, touch their partners affectionately and show appreciation regularly. When a couple decides to do premarital counseling, the reason varies. A majority arrive after becoming engaged. Others look at counseling as the next step before deciding on engagement. Premarital counseling can help couples achieve a deeper understanding of each other and iron out differences
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before marriage, according to The Mayo Clinic. Building a relationship with a counselor or minister for counseling can help in the future. Couples check in with their counselor throughout the marriage or when issues arise in the future. But counseling is not just for engaged couples. According to the Mayo Clinic, some couples seek counseling to strengthen their marriage bond and gain a better understanding of each other. In other cases, couples seek marriage counseling to improve a troubled relationship. The process can help couples address specific issues, such as communication problems, conflicts about child rearing, sexual difficulties, substance abuse, financial problems, anger or infidelity. Finally, some couples trying to blend their family with children from previous relationships seek counseling. “Part of (the counseling process) is
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to develop a road map,” Kuhlhorst said. “A realistic road map of what family life is going to entail. Most of the time people have good intentions but misguided myths about becoming a stepfamily.” Kuhlhorst said one of those beliefs is if the entire family does things together, they’ll be happier. Research suggests otherwise, he said. So couples need to pay attention to insider-outsider dynamics, he said. Often the “insider” or parent of the child feels caught in-between their new spouse and child. When couples come in, they typically meet for two sessions, unless they’re in the stepfamily process and looking for the next step. That process can take more sessions depending on the needs. Kulhorst said couples that do marriage counseling earlier when they start to have difficulties do better. “A lot of time couples wait about five years longer than they should,” he said. “That time adds up, there’s a lot more hurt, which means there needs to be more healing”
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Happily married for 60 years Zett and Malee Hearin recall their earliest days together when Zett was in the military. Photos by Scott Rogers
60 years strong A long marriage requires a sense of humor By Nick Watson World War II had ended, and Zett Hearin found himself in New Orleans on leave and without a best girl.. “All the girls that he’d gone out with got married,” said Malee Hearin, who was the younger sister of Zett’s friend, before he attended West Point. But that’s when Zett’s sister stepped in to help. She asked if he had “looked at Malee lately.” The she advised Zett to invite her over for shrimp the next night. “And that’s how we got together,” Malee Hearin said of her husband of 61 years. But their courtship wasn’t always smooth sailing. Malee said the two were almost “unfriended,” when one of Zett’s best
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friend took her out to dinner early in their relationship. “(Zett) flew in from the base and called at the restaurant and wanted to come and get me,” she said. “and the best friend very nicely said yes.” Being at an Italian restaurant, Malee said she was “loaded with garlic.” That gave Zett pause. The Air Force veteran said he thought, “Oh God, did I fly 800 miles for this?” Malee had a quick retort. “But it was his fault, because he didn’t call,” she said. However, their relationship withstood that,as well as being apart. Zett flew to see Malee on weekends whenever he could catch a plane. Finally, the two tied the knot in 1955 in a hot, non-air-
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conditioned church in mid-July. Traveling soon became their passion. The Hearins have been around the globe, visiting Canada and Alaska numerous times. In fact, the last paragraph of Zett’s final rights (last will and testament), says to “discontinue the service after 20 minutes, or Malee will miss her flight.” “I think the bulk of our good times were in Cincinnati,” Zett said, who worked for General Electric and had a career mostly in jet engines. “That’s where we raised our children.” When asked about the secrets of a long marriage, Malee said you can’t hold grudges. The cliche of never going to bed angry is true, too, she said. Although the couple admitted to breaking that rule over the years. “Fighting is fine, if you’re going to make up,” she said.
The Hearins moved around the Midwest before returning to the Mississippi Gulf Coast, where the two stayed until Hurricane Katrina in 2005. “It was a nervous time, but we had each other,” Malee said. The Hearins have been in Gainesville since the storm, nestling into the community at Lanier Village Estates. Malee works in the glass fusing shop making jewelry and other items, while Zett manages stocks and bonds.
Where to PLAY EAT STAY & ENJOY Atlanta’s Hamptons
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The couple plays pickleball, a sport similar to table tennis on a small tennis court, three times a week before a competitive daily lunch trivia. Zett answers the questions on the U.S. Constitution and sports, while Malee’s forte lies in literature. Staying together for 60 years requires one thing in particular said the couple: a sense of humor. “You can’t fight when someone fights with a sense of humor,” Malee said. “He’ll say, ‘I’m just a little boy’ or something silly and you’ve got to laugh and that defuses things.” Hiding his words with his left hand, Zett said the real secret was to “let her win.” Knowing exactly what Zett just did, Malee quickly replied, “Let her think she won.”
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North Georgia Wedding Venues Directory Elachee Nature Science Center 2125 Elachee Drive Gainesville, Ga 770-535-1976 www.elachee.org Northeast Georgia History Center 322 Academy St. Gainesville, GA 770-297-5900 www.negahc.org Riverside Military Academy 2001 Riverside Drive Gainesville, GA 800-462-2338 www.riversidemilitary.com Smithgall Arts Center 331 Spring St. SE Gainesville, GA 770-534-2787 www.theartscouncil.net Royal Lakes Country Club 4700 Royal Lakes Drive Flowery Branch, GA 770-535-8800 royallakesgolf.com Robson Event Center 431 Green St. NW Gainesville, GA 770-654-9789 www.robsoneventcenter.net The Walters Barn 7743 Persimmon Tree Road Lula, GA 770-654-9789 www.soirees-southernevents. com/ Chattahoochee Country Club 3000 Club Drive Gainesville, GA 770-536-4461 www. chattahoocheecountryclub. com Gainesville Civic Center 830 Green St. Gainesville, GA 770-531-2680 www.gainesville.org
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Martha Hope Cabin 528 Prios St. NE Gainesville, GA 770-531-2680 www.gainesville.org
Four Oaks Manor 3198 Hamilton Mill Road Buford, GA 770-614-7328 www.fouroaksmanor.com/
Brenau University 301 Main St. SW Gainesville, GA 770-534-8420 www.brenau.edu
Carl House 1176 Atlanta Highway Auburn, GA 770-586-0095 www.carlhouse.com/
Buford Community Center 2200 Buford Highway Buford, GA 678-889-4627 www.bufordcommunitycenter. com
Chateau Elan 100 Rue Charlemagne Drive Braselton, GA 678-425-0900 www.chateauelan.com
Bradford House & Gardens 6648 McEver Road Flowery Branch, GA 770-967-7821 thebradfordhouse.com The Ark @ Lake Lanier 6250 Old Dawsonville Road Gainesville, GA 404-285-3266 https://www.facebook.com/ thearkatlakelanier/ Lake Lanier Olympic Park 3105 Clarks Bridge Road Gainesville, GA 770-535-0397 www.lakelanierolympicvenue. org Atlanta Botanical Gardens, Gainesville 1911 Sweetbay Drive Gainesville, GA 404-888-4760 atlantabg.org/visit/gainesville Lanier Islands 7000 Lanier Islands Pkwy Buford, GA 770-945-8787 www.lanierislands.com Jaemor Farms 5340 Cornelia Highway Alto, GA 770-869-3999 www.jaemorfarms.com
Juliette Chapel 497 GA-52 Dahlonega, Ga 678-978-8490 www.juliettechapel.com/ White Oaks Manor 211 Burgundy Way Dahlonega, Ga 706-867-6697 www.whiteoaksbarn.com/ Cavender Castle 121 Cavender Castle Drive Dahlonega, Ga 706-864-8594 www.cavendercastle.com Frog Town Winery 700 Ridge Point Drive Dahlonega, Ga 706-865-0687 www.frogtown.us Three Sisters Winery 439 Vineyard Way Dahlonega, Ga 706-865-9463 www.threesistersvineyards. com Densmore Farm 852 New Bridge Road Cleveland, GA 706-969-2200 www.thedensmorefarm.com/ Reunion Country Club 5609 Grand Reunion Drive Hoschton, GA 770-967-8300 www.reuniongolfclub.com
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Waters Mill 751 Wesley Chapel Road Dahlonega, Ga 678-725-9245 www.watersmill.com/ Cold Creek Farms 491 Shoal Creek Road Dawsonville, GA 404-580-3484 www.coldcreekfarm.com The Barn at Price Mountain 604 Price Mountain Road Pendergrass, GA 706-870-5421 pricemountainfarm.com Glen-Ella Springs 1789 Bear Gap Road Clarkesville, GA 706-754-7295 glenella.com Sautee Mountain Retreat 595 GA-255 Clarkesville, GA 404-985-7859 www.sauteemountainretreat. com Brasstown Valley Resort 6321 U.S. 76 Young Harris, GA 706-379-9900 www.brasstownvalley.com/ Braselton-Stover House 5257 GA-53 Braselton, GA 706-654-5405 www.braseltonstoverhouse. com/ Alpine Wedding Chapel Munich Strasse Helen, GA 706-878-5683 www.alpineweddingchapel. com/ Cornelia Community House 601 Wyly St., Cornelia, GA 706-778-8585 www.corneliageorgia.org
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A handsome stone & log structure built by the CCC in 1936 listed on the National Register The Community House, with 2,500 sq. ft. of space, is reasonably priced, and a local favorite for large events. The grounds are nicely landscaped and a large rock fountain graces the front lawn, making it a popular place for outdoor weddings. The newly renovated building features a commercial kitchen and an elevator. The entry hall greets guests with a stone stacked fireplace.
Contact Debbie Turner at or go to
601 Wyly Street | Cornelia, Ga. 30531 BRIDES
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Make it a wedding weekend getaway: Learn more about our exclusive spa packages, world-class Legacy Golf Course, renowned lakeside restaurants... and so much more!
Set upon the shores of stunning Lake Sidney Lanier, nestled in the foothills of North Georgia’s Blue Ridge Mountains, Lanier Islands is the epitome of romance. With the magnificent lake views and luxurious accommodations, you will feel worlds away, while staying conveniently close to home. Lanier Islands Weddings provides a breathtaking backdrop for memories that will last a lifetime.
7000 Lanier Islands Parkway, Buford, GA 30518 770.945.8787 • www.LanierIslands.com
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