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Lifestyle Bring back the passion and fire between the sheets!

Feature Helping fatherless boys reach their full potential

A father is an anchor designed by nature

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CONTENTS 3 A FATHER IS AN ANCHOR DESIGNED BY NATURE 4 REV CHIKANE: “SOUTH AFRICA IS ROTTEN TO THE CORE” 5 BRING BACK THE PASSION AND FIRE BETWEEN THE SHEETS! 7 HELPING FATHERLESS BOYS REACH THEIR FULL POTENTIAL 8-9 FIERY ATCHAR MAKER SHARES HIS SECRETS 10 HOW TO HAVE A HAPPY MARRIAGE 11 MNTUNGWA IS DISTRAUGHT AFTER BUTHELEZI’S DEATH

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REAL MEN DON’T BOTTLE UP THEIR FEELINGS! By Themba Khumalo

ommencing from an early age, children are steered towards conducting themselves in exacting customs. Their elders who have travelled the same journey, now totally rooted in society, have all kinds of opinions of what makes a picture-perfect child, or what necessitates children to become refined grown-ups. More often than not, the boy child is moulded to measure up to a masculine model of being resilient, strong and above all else, never to cry. From here on, as they become adult men, they embark on a journey that persuades them to be unresponsive to anything that might ordinarily expose emotions. Boys are sculpted to be tough and even thick-skinned, based on this preposterous manly model, rather than submitting to the loving and gentle state human beings are naturally born with. Little wonder then that a lot of men have been conditioned to bottle up their feelings. You are only a man when you conceal your problems and show no emotions, as per the prehistoric conditioning. A man who reveals his vulnerability, fears and other masculine flaws is seen as a wimp, someone who is unworthy, never to be taken seriously, a weakling, so says society. Men who have deficiencies in matters of virility find it difficult to talk openly because they fear the risk of damaging the archetype persona of what they have been given a grounding in for ages - to shut up, toughen up and be a man. Through societal engineered nature, being a male of the human species has always meant that you have to grin and bear it no matter how hard. You are expected to demonstrate influential attributes even if the odds are heavily stacked against you. A man, no matter how broken or bruised, is expected to be emotionally disengaged and lead the household with proficiency. After many generations of wearing a mask of invincibility, let society remember that men are also human. Much as today’s life may appear somewhat becoming equal at a cursory glance, the question still remains: why is it that men continue to allow themselves to be treated so inhospitably just to hide their true emotions and delicate propensities at a time of cultural revolution? South Africa is in the throes of an evergrowing pandemic of gender-based violence. The cases keep increasing. Many people in our society are tormented by the beastly form of violence born out of the pressure placed upon men. The sick and misguided idea of shaping men to be stoic has a direct bearing on the reprehensible acts of violence they carry out

on their loved ones. The internal conflict in the minds and hearts of men has been the cause of hundreds of deaths of women at the hands of their male partners. This honestly gets to illustrate that we all still fail to come close to our inner emotions and the subsequent aftermaths are all too chillingly palpable. Crime statistics for the period October to December 2021 paint a bloodcurdling picture - 902 women were murdered. Of these murders, 232 were as a direct result of domestic violence. In the course of the same period, there were 11,315 rape cases reported. If you break this number down, it comes to an average of 123 rape cases per day. With such numbers, as a people we are yet to honestly confront this unquestionably catastrophic problem laying siege to the way men handle themselves and deal with their emotional relationships. This issue is clearly an offshoot of the load placed on men to act and behave in a particular manner. As men, it is high time we learnt to love and nurture the emotional side of ourselves so that we are able to become skilled at dealing with the behaviour that has made us murderous demons. Instead of bottling up our feelings until our hellish emotions and dearth of affection negatively impacts the ones we actually care about, we need to adopt, to a greater extent, having or displaying a delicate appreciation of our feelings. We must embrace ourselves and our regularly suppressed sentimental instincts. For the love of humankind, let us treat ourselves and our emotions better and develop a stronger sense of self-worth, in order to make our homes and neighbourhoods safer. It behoves everybody to provide support for men and boys in order to stop them from closing off emotionally. Let everyone lend a helping hand and make males appreciate the benefits of expressing what others tend to consider feminine conduct. Society has a critical role in assisting men to position themselves in a way that will encourage self-acceptance and also treat each other with respect. This can go a long way in enabling men to extend proper love and care to the women and children around them. In this psychological war of outdated customs, pre-historical expectations, poisonous stereotypes, we need all hands on the deck. More than anything, it start with the person you are looking at in the mirror. Have an honest conversation with yourself so that you can help other men to overcome this dated stereotype and create a new path to a world of inclusion, peace and prosperity.

Hotstix says fatherhood is the greatest of his all his accomplishments. Photo by Triplementertainment

A FATHER IS AN ANCHOR DESIGNED BY NATURE

hen a man becomes a father, his world changes more than some people can really appreciate. Fatherhood, much as it is not for the faint at heart, influences every aspect of a man’s life. It is one of nature’s beautifully daunting missions. It is a mission that enriches life here, complicates it there – it brings joy and frustration, pride and fatigue and, at times, a lot of utter confusion One must give direction to differently talented children, each with their unique demands. The joy fatherhood brings is worth every struggle. This joy is treasured by the legendary multi-award-winning music maestro Sipho ‘Hotstix’ Mabuse. With a career spanning over five decades, he says fatherhood is his most cherished accomplishment. If you were inquisitive about the nickname, Hotstix; wonder no more. During a gig many years ago, the lights at the hall where they were performing went out, but Mabuse, who was playing drums, was the only one who continued playing for 20 minutes. A fellow band member approached him afterwards and said: “Hey, hot sticks”, and it stuck. A father of 12 and doting grandfather of 15, he says the fatherhood was not without its hurdles, what with a career

By Staff Reporter

that kept him away from home. Today he says he is happy to have triumphed over every challenge as he is also enjoying being a great-grandfather to a bouncy toddler. He asserts that fatherhood can never be bought: “it is a unique journey that each man must traverse. “I think we must just take the responsibility. We may not be good partners to our spouses, but for God’s sake, let us be good fathers to our children because that will determine the kind of children, we will give to the world to represent our families,” the muso counsels. Born and bred in Soweto and started his musical journey with The Beaters in the 1970s. They later changed their name to Harari and began to draw almost exclusively on American-style funk, soul and pop. Hotstix released his solo album in 1984 chart toppings hits, Burn Out and Jive Soweto. Parenting Hotstix is critical of parents who try to “impress” their children with material things. He says “fatherhood comes from the heart”. “My parents instilled humanity in me and I hope I have done the same with my children. My father knew how we loved his fish and chips treat on Fridays. So, he instilled those kinds of values

in me. My mother, on the other hand, woke up around 4am each day to sell vetkoeks so as I could go to school. You know what I’m saying?” he says. He believes parents must infuse a good life balance in taking care of children instead of ‘buying’ their happiness. He says children must learn restraint early in life so they can be at peace even when there is lack. “It is also important how we relate to our boys. We must educate them how to relate to females, their sisters and all other females in general. This is where domestic violence comes from. “If I were to speak about myself, as you know, I was not married for a long time. I married late. But none of my past partners could say ‘o kile a nshapa’ (he once hit me). When you see me with them, you’d think I’m still with them as my partners. “And what that instils in my children is, ‘we are all our father’s children. Even though we have different mothers. Our father still loves and cares even though he parted with our mothers.’ There is no pointing of fingers. No!” He says there are the things that make a relationship between parents and children special. The kind where a son wakes up in the morning to make his father coffee to say “thanks dad”.

4 Reverend Frank Chikane said South Africa lacked leadership because today’s leaders serve themselves instead of serving the people. Photo Supplied

REV CHIKANE: “SOUTH AFRICA IS ROTTEN TO THE CORE” By Staff Reporter

outh Africa’s plague of corruption and moral decay can only be dealt with by organised communities, men in particular, the Reverend Frank Chikane told a men’s seminar in June. Delivering a keynote address at the Men in Prayer (MIP) seminar at the Ipelegeng Community Centre in White City, Soweto, the struggle veteran clergy and former Director General in the Presidency told over 200 men to organise themselves to make a difference in society. The MIP is a Christian organisation of men from all walks of life, Christians and non-Christian, seeking God’s guidance in becoming responsible men. It is led by Pastor George Ngwenya of the George Ngwenya Ministries. Chikane decried the country’s level of corruption and said South Africa was “rotten to the core”. “All of us must take the responsibility for allowing our glorious country to become what it is today. The world used respect us and we let the society to be so rotten that it is rotten to the core. We used to be the best example in Africa, many of our brothers asked that we shouldn’t disappoint the continent,” said Chikane. Chikane said South Africa lacked leadership because today’s leaders have gone into leadership to serve themselves not the people. He said the time has now come for the young men to stand up to secure the country’s future. “People will never make a different

Pastor George Ngwenya said the MIP will facilitate effective structures in response to men’s challenges and community building initiatives. Photo Supplied if they work in silos. For young people to have influence, they need to be organised. Collaborations are important, your power is in influence, the ability to move with more people. If you don’t have influence, or the ability to mobilise society you have no ability to make any difference,” he said. He likened South Africa’s society’s fragmented responses to challenges of corruption to the apartheid experienced by the people of Israel. “The people of Israel for example, are saying the state of Israel is not sustainable with this occupation (of the Palestinian terri-

tory), but they cannot do anything because they are not organised. The same is happening with those in Palestine, they are not collaborating with those people in Israel. “When we conducted the struggle, we mobilised the communities to deal with the apartheid government. We organised from national right to the communities with blocks to street committees. We organised across society, from sport to church and across the colour bar,” said the church leader. Pastor Ngwenya said Chikane’s message was well-received by the MIP. He said Chikane was spot-on because men are major players in many of the things that have gone wrong, pointing out that “if we are to solve these problems, we must attend to men’s mindset.” Ngwenya said as part of the resolutions from the seminar, the MIP will be mobilising men’s forums across Gauteng into an organised provincial structure. “We will be doing so in order to collectively and systematically respond to matters affecting men and the building of our communities and the province at large. We will also be looking at the MIP to facilitate effective structures in response to men’s challenges and community building initiatives,” he said. The organisation has begun setting up a preliminary working committee to develop action plans in dealing with boychild mobilisation. Sports, arts and culture, issues of absent fathers, family and marriage as well as livelihood as part of ensuring men’s participation in political and economic streams of the society.

BRING BACK THE PASSION AND FIRE BETWEEN THE SHEETS!

By Amanda Ngudle

e’ve all heard the lies that sex is not everything. That’s because it’s the only thing. Sort of. Most of the time. So, while you can get by on pants that have seen better days, sex cannot wait. If there’s a problem in the bedroom or you want to heat things up, you have come to the right place. First, let’s get the drivel out of the way. Sex is complex. You may have experienced a moment of excitement so high your member snoozed on you. How do you explain that to the other gender? Other times, we are aroused by the most inappropriate sightings. While we may not claim to be experts, we have done the research for you - because unlike a soccer game analysis, you are either on tip-top sex shape or we can help point you in the right direction. Most experts agree that a healthy body and mind pack a punch for bedroom performance. Diet also plays a significant role. Also, your relationship with your guy down there is important, so you are well within your right to have a nickname for it. Just don’t make it so ridiculous it inspires mirth from your significant other. Experts agree Viagra should be your very last option where our friend doesn’t rise to the occasion. Organic herbs and some food items should be tried out before going the full V. There are other ways around each problem. “Most sexual flops are caused by anxi-

ety, stress and diabetes. So, before you go chasing after your own tail, make sure you have ruled out these factors,” says Dr Steve Spelling, a doctor and sexologist. “Other factors include weight, a big belly will not do you any favours sexually, lack of sleep and a decline of interest in your other half should also be visited.” In the meantime, to elevate your sex, consider the following items we have chosen for you: Moringa: Oupa Segale, who sells the stuff, says he has seen a growing number of clientele since he started selling Moringa since the 2020 Level Four lockdown. “What I like about Moringa is that you are not made a slave for it. Once you get the help you need from it, your problems are basically taken care of on a once off exchange,” he says. Bananas and Figs: Nature has never been more literal when it created bananas and figs. Yes, bananas are good for the member, and figs are good for your balls. They are packed with potassium, which is great for your heart and blood circulation. Figs help regulate the temperature of the balls and both fruit regulate sodium levels, stopping your blood pressure from hitting the roof and reducing your risk of heart problems. Pork: It might be known as meat non-grata in most religions. According to doctors, pork is better than red meat, hands down. In fact, pork is categorised as poultry by most but we recommend it because it packs more nutrients than chicken and fish. A penis does not have a mind of its own. To make it a fine and upstanding specimen, your neurons must be co-ordinated

with military precision. You need thiamine, aka vitamin B1, for a healthy nervous system. Get your B from beans and wholemeal bread. Horny Goat Weed: Like the name suggests, it is said to raise the dead. We are not saying something has died dude, but give it a try! Gingko Biloba (GB): Not only will this sharpen your memory, but GB sharpens your nerve endings too, making it easy to get an erection and sustain it. Again, no side-effects here. Mpesu: Probably one of South Africa’s most popular aphrodisiac herbs. The tree originates from Venda and it is said to not only harden the penis, but it also enlarges its girth and intensifies the game as it heightens pleasure and allows the other gender to enjoy to full capacity before you can call it a day. Users claim there are zero side-effects. Chocolate: Think Valentine’s Day. This sweet treat is linked with the release of serotonin, a hormone that encourages feelings of happiness and well-being. The mood boosts that chocolate can bring may raise your sex drive, too. This indulgence also has lots of phenylethylamine, a brain chemical associated with lust and love. Mustard Oil: It’s known for various health remedies, but men who take vitamins with mustard powder, oil or seeds, have reported an unexpected surprise with its usage. “A teaspoon at dinner, before or with your dinner, does the trick,” says herbalist, Sylvia Njiyela. Avoid: cakes, sweets, flour and too much salt. Copious consumption of fizzy drinks and alcohol, ice cream and saturated fats.

MEN ARE ALSO VICTIMS OF ABUSE It’s time to talk

Just because I am a man, it does not mean she cannot hurt me. I am human too…but nobody believes me.

www.mensvoice.co.za

HELPING FATHERLESS BOYS REACH THEIR FULL POTENTIAL By Staff Reporter

hile some families were busy planning the most memorable ways to celebrate Father’s Day on 19 June as a unit, many children, who have been raised without the presence of their fathers, wanted to forget that this day even exists. The day was made possible by the generosity of uShaka Marine World, Transnet Durban Transport and Vodacom. According to (Freeks 2013:3; Freeks 2016), absent fathers and fatherlessness is a worldwide phenomenon and a worldwide tendency in communities. South Africa has the lowest marriage rate on the continent (Richter & Panday, 2006), the second highest rate of father absence in Africa after Namibia (Posel & Devey, 2006), low rates of paternal maintenance for children (Khunou, 2006) and shockingly high rates of abuse and neglect of children by men (Richter & Dawes, 2008). A Stats SA’s a study conducted in 2018 on “Children’s education and well-being in SA” established that black children were least likely to stay with their biological fa-

thers, only 31,7% of black children aged 0-17 years stayed with their biological fathers, compared to 51,3% of coloured children, 86,1% of Indian/Asian children and 80,2% of white children.” While there are numerous challenges faced by fatherless children, fatherless boys, in particular, are likely to face an identity crisis as they try to determine who they are, where they come from, what their lineage/clan is so as to get a sense of belonging. Some also deal with a range of social, psychological and emotional traumas. A newly established NPO, Sivusisizwe Africa Initiative, in partnership with Inkonjane Youth Development, took a group of young boys to uShaka Marine World in Durban, to ensure this group of fatherless boys doesn’t feel left out on the day. They enjoyed the day watching a dolphins show, an educational penguins show, but the biggest hit was a walk through the massive aquarium which had them so animated and excited they did not want to leave. A discussion over lunch made us realise just how much guidance boys need from their fathers.

Despite the fact that they have many unanswered questions about their fathers’ disappearance from their lives, almost all of them stated that they loved their missing fathers. Mental health for boys and young men is recognised as increasingly important. There’s a need to create safe spaces for boys to air their feelings and know that it is acceptable for men to talk about their emotions. Sivusisizwe and Inkonjane have lined up a number of activities aimed at helping fatherless boys to reach their full potential as productive, caring and responsible citizens. “We are interested in working with men who are willing to mentor boys in their communities,” said Vuma Mfeka, whose motto is: Leave no one behind. “We challenge you to join us in creating a country-wide community network to confront the most consequential social trend of our time: widespread fatherlessness in our nation and to assist single moms to raise healthy sons,” said Dudu Thabede. ● You can connect with Sivusisizwe Africa Initiative on Twitter @sivusisizwe or on Facebook: Sivusisizwe B2M Africa Initiative.

FIERY ATCHAR MAKER SHARES HIS SECRETS

Modikwe Musi established Musi Foods in response to a social media challenge during lockdown. Photo by foodformzansi.co.za

By Nicole Ludolph

t only 22 years old, Modikwe Musi started his atchar business to inspire hope. He runs Musi Foods with his mother and ships his products to nearly every corner of the country. Musi started his atchar business in 2020 in Pretoria during the Covid-19 pandemic lockdowns. While the idea for the product came from his mother, starting the business was actually inspired by a challenge he received on Instagram. “As lockdown hit us hard and we went into level five, I used to do a few (Instagram) live sessions with an entrepreneur that I also met on Instagram. We tried to spread business advice across South Africa to just encourage and motivate people [and let them] know that things will get better, and even though we’re in a chaotic situation, there is opportunity.” The live sessions coalesced into #TheLiveFoundation, a social media movement where people donated money for various good causes during the live streams. Fruitful sessions “From our live sessions, we ended up

raising R1 million within a month. From there, we started giving back to the community, from food parcels to building houses, etc.” Musi explains that it was during one of these sessions when he was challenged to start Musi Foods from scratch, without any resources or support, to show people that it is actually possible. “I went into the house and I saw my mom making atchar, just as something to pass time with. It hit me that with my ecommerce knowledge, and everything I’ve learned with building online businesses, this is a product that I can actually make and sell to the public. I don’t need a shop or an office. I can make the product at home and then I can get courier vehicles to pick it up and deliver it. So, we started the business.” Musi Foods Musi, with his mother Sibeka as head of operations, manages the social media and online part of the business. “Using various social media platforms, we managed to scale and grow [Musi Foods] into a six-figure business within the first few months of running.” To Musi, the quality of their product is of prime importance. He explains that generic

For Musi, the quality of their product is of prime importance. Photo by foodformzansi.co.za

atchar does not always have the best quality mangos, and often has overpowering flavours. This is what makes their product different. “In our manufacturing process, we partnered with local farmers and we established a relationship whereby they will give us the mangoes just as the season hits. And from there, we’ve got our own seasoning and our own manufacturing processes that give us the product that we sell. Everything was done from our household, all of the packaging, the product creation, the recipes, it was all done in my mom’s kitchen.” Some challenges Growing a small business into a sixfigure operation within a few months is not an easy feat, and of course, comes with challenges. “It is fun and great doing six figures and seeing how well we can reach the whole country with our atchar, but we honestly do need a bigger team as it stands, and better manufacturing facilities and production facilities. Right now, it’s just my mother and her small team cutting the mangoes themselves, spicing them and packaging them themselves, and making sure everyone gets their order within three working days.” He explains that they try and deliver as

quickly as possible, but they simply need more resources. MUSI TIPS FOR ASPIRING ENTREPRENEURS: Start small but never think small The first tip I have, I got from Vusi Thembekwayo and it says, “don’t be scared to start small but never think small”. I think a lot of the time we see what we have, and we think to ourselves ‘this won’t be enough”, or “I need funding” or “I need this and that”. We create so many mental barriers to starting whereas if we just started with what we have, we could still expand at a later stage. I think the biggest roadblock for many entrepreneurs who want to get into business is just getting over that starting block. But always, when you start, you must always think big and never limit yourself. You will fail You will reach points where you don’t reach your targets, or your customers are unhappy. The business will have problems, but if you carry on pushing through and if you carry on motivating yourself, it will all be worth it in the end. So don’t give up in the beginning because of the challenges you face.

Your product is not as good as you think it is There will always be someone better than you, but if you have a consistent desire to improve and better yourself, you will also make it. You must always remember that your customer doesn’t know your best product. You know your best product. So, give a product that is good enough while always investing your time and energy in improving that product and you’ll blow your customer’s expectations away. Believe in yourself more than anything A lot of people will not believe in you. Some, because they purely don’t like your ideas, but others, usually family and friends, because they are fearful of the journey you are about to pursue. However, when you are faced with negativity and rejection, you should always remember that if you believe in yourself and you believe you can do it then that belief will be more than enough to carry you through the journey. People first, profits second One of the best things I’ve learned is if you put your customers first and always give, give, give, they will want to support you no matter what. – foodformzansi.co.za

HOW TO HAVE A HAPPY MARRIAGE By Eric Ballard

hile all relationships can be complicated at times, no one wants to have an unhappy marriage. Because of that, we’ll dive into some tips so you can discover how to have a happy marriage. Because all of us are broken, all relationships will have ups and downs. A pastor friend of mine once told me, “In most cases, when I have a problem with someone, I’ve noticed the problem is with me, not them.” In my experience, he was right. LISTEN I said to listen. I just wanted to repeat that because I know there’s a good chance you weren’t paying full attention. We men tend to have difficulty paying attention and listening to our wives when they start talking about things that don’t interest us. But here’s the truth, if our wives are talking about something, it’s because it’s important to them. And if it’s important to them, and we want a happy marriage, it should be even more important to us. Make sure you listen- really listen - to her needs, fears, desires, hesitations, and worries. The next time you ask, “How was your day? What’s happening at work? What’s going on with your friend?” Try to stick around mentally for her response. It will pay off big time in the long run. HONEST COMMUNICATION Here is another skill we aren’t naturally great at. Maybe your wife is better at it than mine, but my poor wife can’t read my mind at all. It’s like she doesn’t understand anything

I’m thinking unless I tell her. Talk to your wife. Tell her what’s going on with you–good and bad–and be honest. Vulnerability goes a long way in forming strength and intimacy in a relationship. Remember that she loves you. She chose to spend her life with you. She will love you even if you share the truths about successes and failures. PRAY FOR HER If you want a happy marriage, prayer must be a vital part of that relationship. Pray for her. Pray for your marriage. Tell her how she can pray for you. Pray together. Ask God to bless your relationship and give you both wisdom, patience, mercy, compassion, kindness, and a whole host of godly traits. LOOK TO JESUS INSTEAD OF YOUR WIFE FOR COMPLETION I’m sure your wife is awesome. Mine is. Quite a bit out of my league. But as great as my wife is, she can never complete all the damaged areas in my life. She can’t fill me with unending joy. She can’t save me from myself. Only Jesus can do any of these things. Only my Creator can transform me into the creation I am meant to be. Don’t try to make your wife be Jesus in your life. She can’t do it. It’s an impossible expectation, and it is setting her up for failure. Only Jesus brings true fulfilment. CONSIDER HER A PARTNER Yes, you are called by God to be the leader of your family. Don’t mistake that calling to read God wants you to be the dictator of your family. Seeing your wife as the equal partner she is will make your marriage so much more enjoyable than if you see her as a

grownup version of your kids– someone that is dependent on your guidance and instruction to make sense of this world. BE FORGIVING AND UNDERSTANDING Don’t hold a grudge. Definitely don’t use the silent treatment. And never “punish” your wife for mistakes she makes. I’m going to let you in on a little secret, so come close, so no one else hears…a little closer…you make mistakes every day. I know. It surprised me too. Because we need understanding and forgiveness almost daily, we better be quick to give it back in return. Of course, your wife will make mistakes but always assume she has good intentions. I can almost promise you your wife doesn’t want to hurt you intentionally. So, if your goal is a happy marriage, offer forgiveness rather than a fight when she messes up. SAY, “I’M SORRY” These truly are magic words. They can bring healing quicker than almost anything out there. If you and your wife are at a standoff, be the first one to say I’m sorry. It has an amazing way of breaking down walls and restoring relationships. Remember that last point; you are called to lead your family. Lead the way on this point as well, be the first to say these magical words. MARRIAGE ISN’T PERFECT Every day won’t be a happy day in your marriage. But if you put in the effort and give these above suggestions a try, you will have a happier marriage overall. It makes for a more enjoyable life as well. – manhoodjourney.org

MNTUNGWA IS DISTRAUGHT AFTER BUTHELEZI’S DEATH

oxer Simiso Buthelezi lost his life at the age of 24 following a WBF African lightweight title fight against Siphesihle Mntungwa two days earlier. In a video clip, Buthelezi can be seen throwing punches into empty space during the fight, looking disoriented after having moved his focus away from Mntungwa. In an interview with Sowetan Live, Mntungwa revealed that he has received insults on social media. The boxer stressed that he was not at fault for his opponent’s death and spoke about having suicidal thoughts. “I came into heavy criticism and received insults on social media platforms when Simiso was hospitalised,” Mntungwa said. “It has taken another level now that he has passed away. “I just can’t take it anymore. One thing is left for me. I am going to kill myself. “Even my neighbours have posted very ugly messages about me on social media. I am no longer safe. “I did not kill Simiso. We may have been involved in a boxing fight but it was not a matter of life and death. “All I wanted was to win the title, which maybe was going to help change my life and that of my family. “I am the only one working at home, where I stay with my young brother, my aunt and her children. My mother died when I was four; my father is still alive but we don’t stay with him. “So, winning that title was going to help me financially. But people have branded me a killer. It could have been me.”

By Enrique Corbella COACH SEEKS PROFESSIONAL HELP Following these statements by Mntungwa, his coach, Mmeli Mkhize, is already seeking professional assistance to help him overcome the pressure he is under and shake away his suicidal thoughts. Mkhize revealed that the pressure put on his boxer is so huge that he was unable to attend Buthelezi’s funeral or offer condolences to his family. – marca.com

BOXING’S INVISIBLE OPPONENT: THE STORY OF SIMISO BUTHELEZI By Craig Scott Renowned South African boxing figure, Colin Nathan, was working as a commentator, calling the action from just a couple of feet away. “It was probably the most bizarre thing I’ve ever seen in my life. I never saw him taking any major head trauma. He got caught here and there, but there were never signs of being buzzed, legs buckling, him not having his faculties or anything like that. Major fatigue had set in – that’s only normal when you’re setting a hard pace in a fight. In terms of physical issues and co-ordination, shape of his punches, then no. The only thing I could see was fatigue setting in, but it was for Mntungwa, as well. “We could all have our theories; did he cut weight badly? Did he get concussed in sparring? Was he knocked out in sparring? Now, we’re never gonna know the true situation because I don’t think anyone in that po-

sition – given the vulnerability of what’s just happened – is gonna be forthcoming and honest. What we do know, for 100 percent, is that the motive is boxing. Irrespective, the motive remains the same: it’s boxing.” “Early on Buthelezi was leading and then Mntungwa came back nicely, and in the last two, three rounds, Buthelezi steamed ahead. He was winning the fight; there was no sign of any neurological issues, physiological issues, as well. He was looking good, coming on strong, and winning the fight. He was winning the last round, there were no signs up until the last 40 seconds of the fight. He inexplicably started chasing the referee thinking he was the opponent. The referee pointed to Mntungwa, kind of skipped out of the way, and Buthelezi carried on walking towards the corner, throwing punches [at nobody in thin air.] “That’s the hardest part to swallow of this whole event. “We have seen fighters take a tremendous hiding and we question the referee, we question the corner, we question the medical doctor at ringside. If he’d taken a sustained beating throughout the fight, you’re thinking, ‘Okay, he’s gonna collapse, Jesus.’ It just happened so sudden. There I am, doing commentary, and I’m trying to think of what to say because I’m stunned. Scared when he started collapsing, to the point of teary where I’m thinking, ‘Wow – what do I say here? How do I remain calm, collected, but sensitive to the situation?’ It was one of the most bizarre and most tragic things I’ve ever seen in my career and life.” – boxing-social.com

It’s time to talk

WHEN YOU SAVE A BOY CHILD, YOU SAVE A GENERATION Strength, courage, mastery, empathy and honour are the alpha virtues of a gentleman. Boys become men of integrity through the influence of people who care about the boy child… and intentionally creating a positive and nurturing environment!