[The Stute] April 1, 1978 (Issue 21, Volume LXXVI)

Problems? .The PtesidentJs For 'Em

The major toplo, at this past summer employment. Wednesday'. presldent'a After a lengthy, dlscuulon Forum Wllll the two Ilxtra days of with the fellow 'conehl!'e'ds, clasaes which we all must en- president Rogers guarallleed • dura due tothe heavy snow. Joe that the decision would he Mykilltus '82 polnteCi out the reversed. He also ,noted that absurdity of the decision to add eVeryone would' have !.exon two extra days at,the end of ,pense of two (,lay's' wifllh of the term.' He elso pointed out' classes credited' to Ah.,lr aclhat altar tha:, strlka no' days count. were made (ip and thatslncewe would he gelling out of sehO,ol Another topic raised w,as the' later this would hinder our J'llcent announcement,tlillt the chances for getting meaningful tuition would be IncrMsed

Bookstore Changes Hoping to. Reverse Saleg"'Slump

" again next year, President Rogers said he understood that extreme econOmic pressure Wall' being put on tl'le students with '\hls move, but stated that the tuition I ncraase was necessary to the fulfillment of the Plan,

At the the also anrlounced was purchasing a new million dollar computer. since ihe administration felt that the com(Cant, on pg. 1;'00/. 1)

Head of the bookstore, Mr. sales. In the future, telltHard Sell, announced today ,books will ,n,ot be sold, but Intliat tha store will radically! stead a complete, line 01 Oliff change Its approach and trUly Notes, Monarch Notes, and Hot begin clIterlng to the stucKlnt Formula Books covering ell body. .' courses at Stephens will hI!,

In the past. mllny stJdents offered. In addition, pre-written: knowing very well that they lab reports Where only the data, 'wouldn't be opening any tellt. needs to be filled In will be books anyway. h\lye saved hun- available, " dreds of dollars' each year by For those who get tha late not buying jl\elr books, This night munchies, a dell counter naturelly hljd a drastic effect on will be added which Is /

.. iliil Admlnltlrllion and TNItee. announced today thallhey h.d 'fln.ilzld Ihelr ileClelon 011 llill ye."1 'CI11t1ngullhed commene.mellt k.r;

Page 2

OBITUARY Mystery Spirit Found Dead; Bequests Manuscripts to Institute

. Cashmere, well-hidden archivist known for his eloqUent style of many words conveying little meanings, suddenly choked to death while enjoying a peppermint schnapps.

Litters to ·the Idiot-

Dear Editor,

clutching a tattered copy of Readers Digest "Quotable Quotes." His analyst reported that Mr. Cashmere had been steadily withdrawing from reality into a fantasy world of misplaced metaphors.

"Rest in Peace"

My beef Is about people who ramble on and on about how really boring Tech Is, so you do a little school work while all your friends at other .schools party around and have fun, too bad that Isn't true, I mean people here at Good Time College don't always party. True ·We seem to always be partying and out having a good time either In the nearest city or next door In your neighbors personal belongings, w'hlch could lead to little problems mOnt!1s from now If your not careful (thank

CASH#&RE.:... ftOURNS THE. ..PASSING OF"

Tht STUPE mourns the puslng of Oeshmere

THE STUPE

The Raving Strawberry, Idlot-ln-chargil

Busch Lady

Mismanaging Idiot

Caron Copllatlng

Mo Burkey

Flashing Idiots

. Mary Palaialalonus

Nude Idiot

l)Aajor Tom Mercenary Tool

Toy Smell In' Laldback Idiot

Flat Crappaplenty Head Jock

I3lg Jo Beasly Slrlpplng Idiot

Cheesy Kraftwerk

Jiffy Goldenturd

Crappy Idlol

Snot Busl,baby

Perversion Manager

Willie Schlitz

Pornography Idlols

Cheek Licker

Circumcision

Also Masturballng

Harry Gazorzenplatzen

Moe SCabby

Tan Shaft

The Raving Borgy

Rockford J. Flies

Dud Bummln', 4.0 Paialaialnous Spam'Squaklns

God, I've no little problems), physics the next.,., occurrences like this happen I,M. every. now and then like maybe three or four. times a week or maybe a little more, yeah it's got Dear Editor, to be more probably every other This Is In response to the:artlnight, so·,I'm.lylng a bit. '. cle last week In' which our. I m!lan. l"llght for the fallhful'presld,ent I,ve been, wasted or' Iy" Rodgewstated· that; thre.e fpqllng' around,.wher,Il ·. I. men will. 'share two "rooms hi shollldn.'t (",ouldn't YOu)' rhe problem'ls I'm slCk'end Ahat 'two',men Ivlil··share one !.f you did everynlghl .woU!dn t. you, 'stiff competition, I hope,I'lIve in bored,. , thafswhy .,your p,al.roer, nexl' yeer, dil'1't Yc!u?; yougO,t Cl : \. .' variety, theFil's onen.'ght, I. .-

·Students:' Spea·k· OLJt ./, -

",,:.' •

First of all: I would like ·to with me, but don't worrY, ihe confess four shocking fscts: ' your feelings allout girls· will sUPerior minds you sometimes

1, I like Tech. There was a time, change when you get a ,little just don't know what to talk when I wasn't enjoying my stay older. about. .If .you don't like our here veiy much, but I found out 3. I like Tech nerds. Mind you, I lifestyle, honey, then off. that the 'problem was not With don't think ·the'ne.rd reaIlY,ex- Who Invited you anyway? theschoolbut'wlthme.Vousee,· ists, The Idea of the' guy who I'll tell'you Why I went' to If you want something of value, •. sPl1nds five hours a night on. his defend my right .to be a social you have to work forit.Vou may homework, has no outside In- flop: I'm/enjoying my lifestyle' not like II,butthat'stheway Itls, terests, and sneaks Into the and. I'm happy, That's no lie.

- (Cant. from pg. 1; col. 2) APATHY••• ,

2. I think some of the girls bathrooril to devour.the And It'sa man In a thousand·that around here are pretty nice, I Popular Electrc:,"lcs, Is. an abo'. can truly· make that statement. know some of you wouldn't. su,rd myth: But !' you would like I'm gonna tell you wjly I'm, hapto believe In one, I'll take the pYand why you're not: I 'had 'posltlon of "Tech Nerd". 'and dealings with the liVing God, bear the terrible burden of you'r and I found out I have sinned scorn.,(¥ou may think' you're a against him and wasonmy way mock' out artist but you're to Hell. But I obtained probably not.) , , forglvenessandanewheartand

'COLtOQUIUM

Dr. Charles c:ii Speziale will speak at Stevehillnsiitute of Technology on ·the Application of Non-Local Elastic Theory of Griffith Cracks on Weljne§day, April 5, 1978 at 3:00 P.M. in Ih'e Burchard Buildl'1g, 'Room B-124, ,

STUPERl;

Photo Contest

Catch a B&G man working on the Job, record this onceIn-a-lifetime event on film, and you too can be a STUPE winnerl Conlact box 911909 for delalls.

•

AlienI/on aliluniors In Ohem. Eng.: ChE 38 homework (35 points) assignment due Ihls 'Friday will be passedoul during Dr. Sircut's "special" review ies.lon at 1:30 a.m, Wednesday. He will discuss In detalilhe deviance In pipe flow problems due 10 form drag versus flow skin frlGllon wllh specIal attentIon 10 the Fanning Friction Factor

-: ,. , April 1, 1978

.,'

Dear [ My r, along easy roomn utter s machl offers machi clpthe doesn all :he, :walk c '1 car lie pa TRAN do? :' 'oea(i • Fro.n say:·yc fOllOW REA 1,0.'Fl IF\ ,GO.l 'aUF

P,P.S, I have just been absolved by Todd Westorhoff. I amno longer considered a Tech Nerd. '

Mark Chambers '79 141

4. There Is talk these days of a new life. It's. as If I wasn't even one's "lifestyle," After' much living before. Corny, eh? Sorry, consideration I am to If I embarrass you admlt,something: l-don't have a P,S, If you'd like meto set you lifestyle, I'm just living. I would up with one. Of the girls, let me like to· defend the right of all know and I'll see What I clin do neras' to be social deViants. I for you, But seriously, If you'd remember a frlend'of mine tell- like to talk to'me'about God, I'm Ing 'me how her friend had been more than willing. 'I'm no to a Frstsmoker and salol II was theolggian. but I know that the most boring party she had. some of you are looking for ever been at. I've never been to a something. smoker so I' don't know, maybe It really was boring, but I never the less .(never-the-Iess?)' felt a ,surge of. indignation, like someone had Insulted my little poodle. (Ma Chlenne, that Is, I.e.). But I know how It 1'S: when i

You Know' losing Your Class. When

....

Teachers: Old you ever gel the feeling that some things you were teaching In class just went beyond the stUdents? Well now the administration has published a set of guidelines to warn You ,.

Wheh they ask for the name of the Instructor on the final exam and everybody pUls'down "textbook"

After lecturing for an hour you ask "Are there any questions" and the only one you galls "Who cut your hair?"

You ask' a student "How come you haven't been to class In two weeks?" and all he says Is that he's been watching old reruns of "I Love Lucy" ( .' StUdents start bringing pil!ows and alarm clocks to your lectures.

Even the nerds silin the last row, Attendance Is taken by ·asklng "Alright, Who's hear?,' and nobody answers,

The most popUlar 100d In class Is n'O-doze.

You have to open the window just to keep yourself from failing asleep,

The teacher next door even complains that your putting his students to sleep. ,. ,

The students requestlhat you Withdraw from the course,

'. 'r. .'

,artl· our. 'dolhree sin ni Is one IgtO, 'e In ' ..:: own . , 1978 -

oney ,uch mes talk our off. to cial lyle' lie. Ihat 9nl. apod, 1ed vay led lnd len 'ry,

'ou me do u'd I'm no 1at for

lb.I ch 79 41

,Dear \O'ucky

Dear Ducky, 'HELL

My roommate and I don't get 100 WRITE (6,30) along. I'm a neat person and 30 FORMAT (1X, 'I WILL: KILL easy to get along, with. My YOU', 3A5) roommate Is a complete and. uller slo". He Works down Inthe machina shop bacause his hair offers 'the best' source of Pear Ducky, machine" oil, "and grease, 'His I' am •a ,20 year old male clothes are ,'so dirty that he sOJlHomore, and my problem Is doesn'I'have to hang them up;' that" amextreme,ly horney.1 am all :he does"ls,whistle and they, not ,bad ,looking at 5'10", 165 ' iwaik OV!lr.. " 'Ibs:, and"an athletic build, bul 'I can't;,taIK to him because 'all none' ,of the' glrls I m,eet on he' can' 'understand are' FOR- campus at"the mixers want to go TR, AN, ,commands. What can, I to bed with nl8.1am rU,nnlng out do?' of IIn,lIs and to try to get these girls tbmake love with me. What should:l:do?, This Is sup- , poseCl to Jhe revolution. ' , , , SI ncerely, , !"lard Up

Mr. Clean t' Dea(Mr. Clean, Fro,m the ameli of your lelter I'd say:yotmeect help.-TIji using the

READ (5,10) TAKE A BATH

,1p'FORMAT (5X,',3A5)0 '

IF"(yOU. Do Not Take 'ONE)

CLOTHES

, Dear Hard UP.

As In all revolutions there are some loyalists. Keep trying. Have you considered cosmetic surgery'for your hands.?

H'O:BOKEN : Weekend of Your Wet ,Dreams ii,

HOBOKEN: Is'

Stephens- to Improve Conditions In TheS,urrounding Community

Six Tech students have developed a device Which they believe will change the face of cities, and the .entire process of urban renewal.

The device, the students claim, will completely level and clear an area of, apprQxlmately one square mile In about one-tenth of one se'cond, over 'a million fold Increase In efficiency over conventional methods.

through a variety of strong arm, techniques.

The lack of a delivery vehlcie became a problem when the operator of the original machine obtained for the pl!rpose (a Super Beetle) made a wrong turn while on a test drive in New York Gily and fell off the end of the West Side Highway. The driver, Oren Snevets was unhurt.

tion. In return for her services she'ls allowed to bench press the 600 lb. device five times daily,

The head of the project, Roger Kazatnlk, Is very proud of the group. Says he, "The world will remember us for a very long time."

We were unable to contact the designer. Quack Warped, because he was undergoing his This problem. and many weekly electroshock treatments Contained In a box 5 feet by 2 others were solved by the addl- ,at the health center, but, we were feet by 2 feet, this device tlon of Carol Nirvana a student told he IS very enthusiastic and represents the culmination of of Chaucerlan literature thinks hls,ldea will proliferate. over a year's w'ork and currently enralilla;/at, The ffrst' test of the device, thousands of Tech-nerd hours. Miss Nirvana glyes a somewhat after many delays, will take Many setbacks were ovemome unusual fJpvo.( tii the group.,Her ' place on April 1,and will be held in the construction and develo- car - the "Black Widow" is a In a soon to'be vacant lofon the pment of this, tool. Money, 1967 Dodge Polara controllable grounds of the Cambridge High although originally a problem, only by her muscle bound 210 School of Science, Cambridge. was' eventually gathered pound body, which 'she has Mass. A hot-dog and 'through anonymous donors, In- , finely hOned by'frequentwelght marshmallow roast will be held terested nationalist groups and lifting and roller derby competl- Immediately afterward.

Death-Skate 1000

On April 12, Stephens will hold its first annual' Skateboard Competillon. The contest will be comprised of three main events. The first event will be the slalom, The free style competlltlon will be held second, and tnlrd but most Important will be the MOTS (Mowing Down Tech StUdents) competition.

Qualifications for entry are:

(1) Must be Hoboken urchin.

(2) Juvenile delinquent.

(3) Must be able to stripcar within 45 seconds,

The starling point will be Stephens Center and the courSE! will run down the Wlttpen Walk, through the gates and end In the parking lot behind the Chemistry BUilaing. First prize will be a gold-plated switch blade.

Entries must be submitted no later than mIdnight of March 32.

pirty "Ring" Exposed

"And for my next number" I

On Wedn,llsday morning; the Jesldents of South Dorm awoke .to discover that their trash cans were missing. After the Initial shock of not finding their cans, dlfferenl hypothesis as to the whereabouts of the froshs' lost possessions were advanced. A very unreliable source claimed that the, containers were abducted by members of the syndicate who planned to strip down the cans, refinish lind repaint them, and sell them on the Hoboken trash black market.

A select committee of detectives from Sydney, Australia was br04ght to the scene with a battery 'of sophisticated alec-

tronlc gear. bloodhounds, and:' tennis raquets. After a full day of, searching, ,the cans were finally located without the help of B & G. A major clue came from the fact that the residents of the first floor, while being awakened by the usual cold water of the' South Dorm showerS, found themselves standing knee-high In garbage. As you may have guessed by now, the contraband cans were stashed in the first floor shOwers disguised as large soap dishes. Somehow. the cans were mixed up lin the process of being redistributed. with such cries as, "Where's my can, man?" being heard. It was the end of another typical day In South Oorm,

w.

"All those In favor of Ihoo'IIn9 Dean Tomato. ral •• h.nd"

STUPO's chief money counter funds In their vault rooms. The somebody doesn'tstart taking announced today that the vaults Administration's insistence that this money away •. and loon, Iare overflowing with accrued the STUPO funds be placed In think I'll burn II and solve the wealth and pleaded with the 'Interest-bearing with energy crisis slngle-torchedl" Stephens community to come the Interest thus accrul,ng, gelng the rest of the Allotment Comto the 'Allotment Chamber and added to the STUP9 funds has mission was adamant that in the take some 'of this money away served to aggravate the sltua- future all with them. Owing to the ilon. The present situation Is would be required to,agree to a diminishing number of clubs Indeed grave as the trend shows starling $10.000 arid actlvilles over the past no sign of reversing Itself, but per semester with an Increment years the STUPO Allotment rather. seems to be accelerating of 15 - 30% recommended every Committee has consistently year by year. The chief money semester and required 'every been saddled with a surplus of lender commented that. "If three semestersl

BOOKWORMS & MAD SCIENTISTS

Don't I even get I bllndlold?

Paraphernal icr_

_. t ,'

Paraphernalia ,soundS like, pear a lern all ya. Paraphernalia.

"Here's your pherne," the Roman father might have said, handing a medium sized bag of gold to his daughter on her wedding day. Pherne means "dowry' In latin.

"Here's my pherne," the young Roman girl would In turn say to her husband, "and I have some, parapherne to go along with It," Para Is a prellx meaning 'beyond: ! I

The young Roman girl Is saying, "I have soroething more than my dowry to bring to our married Iile. It's my parapher- ' nalia." She'd have bath salts and silken linen and combs al1d pins. and brooches, other personal items. Para (beyond) Phernalla (dowry). "I need a big house for all my paraphernalia:'

A welder who Is wed to his job enjoys not only his welding skill but also his welding paraphernalia: his welder's mask snd gloves and IItlle, blue hat.

"On iecond Just relunifour

t)Copyrjght 1977 j

the paraphernalia we've brought to our marriage with life To the aun, this earth, water, a" and lire are parapherMila

"Old you bring your parapher· MI,a?" asl<s Uncle Walter.

"Yep." shouts Cousin Fred. holdIng up hiS I,shlng pole and tacl<le The sun strikes dl3rnOnd1- (Jff the river In the baCkground.

goes to visit him In the slammer. The guards went through the paraphernalia in her purse before they'd lei her in. They found lipstick, kleenex. billfold, keys, other odds and ends: a woman's daily paraphernalia. We are wed to the light, so the earth is our dowry, our pherne. The missiles, hairpins and skyerapers and lipsticks and supersonic planes are among

Or In the circus ring the seal tralMr arranges his seal trainIng paraphernalia: rings, hoops, horns and balls. "What's all that stull?" some kid wlJl ask. "That's seal training paraphernalia," the trapeze artist will explain.

"That looks like burglar's paraphernalia," seys Ihe cop, .looking in the back of Franky's eer, seeing Franky's Lone Ranger mask, gloves and flashlight. "Paraphernalia like that is enough evidence lor a search,"

"Don'l leave your paraphernalia around next time," Franky's Wife tells him when she

"I hope Ihls reducing machine work'"

OK, who cuI the cheete?

Hey SlIllorl

".': d.,/ '. '.'."

Donald' Bledsoe - No wayl Anything' ,tlieyserve there will !'le9ll u'p your head.

Henry - '110, I only work here," he said. In. a shrill voice

Joe Skag - You must be kidding.

Rock Glunk - Only If Its pH balanced.

Make Breakthrough

Involved an'''intergrated'' flush In an' exclusive Stute Inter· mented on the breakthrough, would help to diminish are,: aware".of "tlie' that mechanism'· constructed by view, Or. Steln-Ioli. spokesman "We should purchase several of Stephen's reputation as the dog!

-..: Engineering students e pl)otograph 01 a lor lIle Stephens 'Chemical these new toilets and locete crap capital 01 the world."

: soma ways·(or. lull sized human.tollet,· Engineering' Oepartment: com,- them around the campus:Thls,

,even. In all ways)'

"Thu'dpecker'

.:..a't .,Ste:p he'ns.-.

'

narder:, than'. 'Live, in Hoboken,. It.1i Satur- (note to trlvlalists: she's the one liveryone It Is, actulllly: day Nigh!!' .'!'onlght,; your that Nell Young didn't write a :more a!l expre,sslon of their. listening· pleasure, ihe stupefied song about. but Jimmy's gonna :stupldlty; It takes stupes. Irom the SrUPO CON- sing it anyway). Whatever else: effort for half·bralns to grasp CERT COMMITTEE' are not you may be, don't be an April 'even the slm.p,lest of ideasl allowed to prevent the one and' 'Fool and go home (or elseWhere -

However this week Chem. only,JimmyT"udpucl!.!lrl" Yes, to enioythe,heat)thlsweekend.

Eng, stuaents look wlth'prlde ',(and other, aSsorted Come out on the .In'stitute·'

'a major breakthrough dementos, whackos and gon- Brown and listen to the music of.:,,;; - In their field which sUbstsn- zos) you need only attend th!). Jimmy Thudpuckerl Seriously, tlates. to some degree' their scene which hath. by·'demon1a' after last year's attendance of, claim of greatness I am relllrr-. In,spi.ratlon, been foreordained 800,000 at the WCPR Music \ng to the Invention ofthe par- _to develop space. this Saturday Festival the forces of evil (I.e table, chemlclIl ,outdoor flush night behind the Moat Field the Administration and Securi'toilet for dogs.' Horse upon the open Drown 01 'ty) have forbidden any agitation'

Some yellrs" ago chemical the Athletic Field, and verily 01 outsiders for upcoming Sexportable' toilets humans' shall your very ears be thrilled. ual, OOOOPSI that's SOClsl, were introdUCed, revolutionlng to the sound olthesesingularly Events on So. ya see, sanitation atconatrucllon sites, un-memorable words, prior to its really klnda,mportanlthatall

·falrgrounds/etc., The develop- being accosted by the of you folks there be there '; ment 01 the'dog toilet however, .pucker throng rhe e,moee Will ' Saturday night. was 'muoh slower ,because It be the Starwberry Girl hersell ,-

The people who brought Ben Bunny Dontsing was picked to Hur. Jesus Christ Superstar and play. Roxane, the fair-haired War and Pesce to the' "A" heroine. 01 somewhat limited Building Auditorium stage are mental stature. Members prOUd to present to the Snevets agreed that It was a role that community a classlclln Cyrena Bunny would feel comfortable deBergerac. Briefly, the plot In. details the efforts of a, Susie "Tank" Sherman will put swashbuckling, musketeer her towering talents to work as (Cyrano) to help his friend the left spire olthe Cathedral de Christian win the of the fair Notre Dame. Playgoers will Roxane. Complicating things recall her Inspiring perforare Ihe faot that aj Cyrano Is Mance as a church steeple in hlmselnn love with Roxane and War lind Peace.

b) qhrisllan is a congenital Those who saw Ben Hur no klutz. A source 01 comic relief double remember ihe throughout the show Is a rsth?r breathtakingly staged charlot oversized portion of Oyrano s races; a choreographic coup anatomy. Perennial ham and despite the slight mishap during cutup Dinky HaWkeye was oast the third performan h In the lead role. When asked to ce w en one comment he wes quick to reply; "I think I'm big enough to handle It." '

"Normie Baby" Hertz will portray Christian, and admitted that the role was a diffiCUlt one. Members 01 the OverlyDramatic Society however were unanimous In declaring that with his aptitude and talent Hertz would have no trOUble oonvlncing the audience that he was a stumblebum.

of the charioteers misjudged a turn and caused the untimely demise of one third 01 an SRO audience. In War and Peace the audience was treated to the sight of 5000 extras performing the battle scenes on the 29'x23' stage. Some orltlcs contend that the action on stage was a bit oluttered.

In the true Stephens tradition the Erratic Society will present a complete recreation of the Spanish assault on the French lines in Cyrano; starring Annealed Botchedswanl as the ,entire Spanish army. Those who come are In for a rare treat. Those looking for medium and' well done are simply oul of luok,

Come To The MOVIES

Sunday, April :2 7:00 & 9:30 p.m.

Monday, April 3 9:00 p.m.

Admission $1.00 I per body (an hour and a half of "entertainment")

the hsrdwo';klng

for

New Computer Explained

On Thursday, April 6th at 2 P.M., Mr. John R. Mager will present a lecture entitled 'The New Stevens Computer System - User Expectations." Mr. Mager a Senior Software SReclalist with Digital Equipment Corporation In Fairfield, New Jersey and formerly was Programming Manager at the Stevens Computer Center, He will discuss usage of the new system for the. user point of view. Specificl\lIy, he will describe the new configuration, software, system features

INTERNATIONAL STUOENTS DAY

IDC Sports Near Conclusion

and concepts that will users to take best advantage of the _DECsystem-10. All members of the Stevens community are Invited to attend. We particularly recommend attendance by all current users of the system. Tips will be given on running existing programs on the new system, as well as Information on the use of the new system software. Users will, have an opportunity to ask questions at the conclusion of the presentation.

Fencers Make 'Team

William and Mary, Middle Atlantic Collegiate Fencing Association Champions placed two men on the 1978 AllAssociation team. Johns Hopkins, co-runner up with Stevens Tech, won three positions as Stevens gained one slot. Temple earned the remainIng three berths on the annual all-star team selected on the basis of M.A.C.F.A.tournament results. The balance of the ten members failed to place a man on the first team. '

The 1978 AII·Assoclatlon Team

Foil: Eric Newm-an, Somerville, N.J., Hopkins; Ivan Roberts, Elizabeth. N.J., Temple; Kerry .101aletsky, Pompton Lakes, N,J., Stevens, Sabre: Greg Hasyn, N. Wales, Pal" Temple; Paul Cordts, "rostburg, Md" Hopkins; Streamson, Chua, 'Kingston,"" N.Y., Hopkins.

Colloquim Planned

The "Surface Physics Seminar" will continue meeting thru April and May on Wednesdays at 6 p.m.-7p.m. as usual (until the end of term).

Physics Dept, Colloquia are scheduled thru April and Mayas usual on Wednesdays at 11 a.m. in 8-124. with refreshments at 10:30 a.m. in 8-714 as follows:

Wed., April 5, 1978

"Cohesion of Metallic Systems", Professor C. Daniel Gelatt, Department of Physics, Harvard University. Cambridge, Mass,

Wed" April 12, 1978:

"Negative Hydrogen Ion Sources for Injection of Fast Atoms Into Fusion Plasmoo", Dr, Th. Sluyters, Accelerator Department. Brookhaven National Laboratory, Upton, I,ong Island, New York.

Wed., April 19, 1978:

"Two DimensionalScreening in a Magnetic Field and the Wlgner Lattice", Prof. Eric Canel, Department of Mathematical Physics, The UnIversity of Birmingham, Birmingham, England.

Wed., April 26, 1978:

"Classical Electron Theory with Classical Zero Point Radiation", Prof. Timothy H. Boyer, Department of Physics, City COllege, CUNY. New York, N.Y.

Wed., May 3, 1978:

"I nteraction of Swlfllons with Magn'etlzed Matter", Prof, Noemle Koller, Department of Physics, Rutgers University, Piscataway, New Jersey.

Wednesday, April 5 2:30 - 6:30 p,m. Stevens Center Music, food, dances, crafts eKhlblts - from the Middle East, Asia, Latin America,Europe and the Caribbean Admlsslon Free

SlIiu TENNIS

There will bE! an Important meeting of all gjrls In playing tennis as a club. Meet-In the Gym

The regUlar season of I.O.C. spring sporls is coming to an' end. Championship time Is here once again. The Thursday before vacation, March 16, 1.0.C. Bowling was cancelled because of ,equipment problems. The Bowling season will continue in the order scheduled which 'will 1j10ve' the championships to A'prIl13.

Tuesday, March liS, ended th9 regular voileyball season with a forfelt,by_South giving Hayden 2 more victories, Marine View with_another strongteam which defeateq Northwast'15-6.-15-,2, The final' games played by Palmer and Northeast 835 C.P.T. Palmer was vlctoriou's over the girls-15-1, ·15-5. '

the final standings q,fthe are: • '- -,

1st place Palmer (16-0) '1 000 plaoe (7-141: :636 '

3rd,place,Northwest (606),.5(10:

4th place MN.P. (4-1) :363 -'

5th place Sout/1 (4-8) .333

EPEE: John Snyder, Mary: AI Brown-, Somerville, Shepherdstown, West. Ve., N,J., Drew. '

,6th place Northeast 835. C.P.T. (28) .200 -

The playoffs will be .held April_4th in the field house. 4/4/78 1st- PlaCE! / 6:30 6th Place

WIlliam & Mary; John Reilly, Sabre: Lou Esposito, Staten New Canaan, Conn., William & Island. N.Y., Stevens; Richard Mary; Bob Hendry, Haledon, Ferree. Fredrlcksburg, Va .• N.J,., Temple. William & Mary: Jay Showalter Dick Oles, Baltimore, Newtown, Pa., Drew.', 4/4/78 2nd plage Md" Hopkins. I ii:.;.te: Dean, Holmdel, 6:30 5th place THE SECOND TEAM N.J., Drew; Dave Findlay; Foil: Bruce Loyar, Tempe, Guilford. Conn., Stevens; Dave 3rd place Arizona, Stevens; Dave Murray, 'Steinberg, Upper, Montclair,

Murrysville, Pa., William & N.J MUhlenberg.

OVER_AMOtmi .. RIGHI" THROUGH lOUR ... SENIOR' YEA- ·;.

If you're a junior or a seniof::lmajoting or engineering, the Navy has a program y6u should .. i:;:.'::::.

It's called the Nuclear Propulsion Officer CandIdate-, I Collegiate Program (NUPOC-C for short) and if you qualify, you can earn as much as $650 a month right through yoursenior year. Then after 16 weeks of Officer Candidate, School, you'll receive an additional year gf. advanced technical education. This would cost you thousands in a civilian school, but in the Navy, we pay you; And at the end of the year of , training, you'll receive a $3,000 cash bonus. . '

It isn't easy. There are fewer than 400 openings and only one of every six applicants will be selected. But if you make it, you'll have qualified for an elite engineering training program. With unequaled hands-on responsibility, a $24,000 salary in four years, and gilt-edged qualifications for jobs ', in private industry should you decide to leave the Navy . later. (But we dOJl't think you'll want to.)

Ask your placement officer to set up an interview with a Navy representative when he visits the campus ,... -', or contact your Navy representative at 201-645-2109 (collect). If you prefer, send your resume to the Navy Nuclear Officer . ( Program, Code 312-B468, 4015 Wilson Blvd., Arlington, Va. 22203, and a Navy representative will contact you directly. 'The NUPOC-Collegiate Program. It can do more than help you finish college: it can lead to an exciting career opportunity.

STUCOMIXER

March 31

Friday' $175

Band: ROAD

BEER·25C:

\' landmarks. ,: So take a travel tip !rom k&lld's favorite bird. Learn to fty Icelandic. See your travel IIgOIlt. Or write QeIlL #C352, • eo !l,

<, ':' N.Y. 11552. Call '1."', ", ,,\1' 800-555-1212f ,.' '" '" toll·""" nuntber

,l in your area.

Roundtrip 14·45 day APEX 1m from N.\:'

Italian News

J. 0 Italian mobsters threatened yesterday to assassinate jailed members of the Red Brigades gang unless former Prime Minister Aida -Mora is freed before' 4 a.m. tomorrow by his kidnappers. The deadline was set In a communique sent to a Rome newspaper which said underworld "businesses" were suHerlng from the eitects of the dragnet thrown over Italy by 10,000 pollee and army Iroops since Mora was abducted March 16. It said the acllon was decided Saturday When crime bosses from 11 Italian cities met In a plenary session to discuss the situation. The message assured that the executions would take place in the prisons despite any preoaut'ions taken " to the contrary.

CASINO SOCIAL

Stevens Dramatic Society , ""1/ presents el1l."

"The Tam"ing o·f the Shrew"

'lIlle 8

Nicholas 1 Takes Over, Tennis

won convincingly, 6-3, 6-0. J. T. mistaking the security guard for Curly had e hard fought match a large.flre hY!lrant. Two lIew at number 4 but finallY lost in a 'procedures were introduced fOr' tlebreeker. Fnlshman Empty Wednesday's nlatch•. "

Veg-o-matlc

,Baseball Strikes Out

Coach Whltless, when reached for comment concerning his ,clUb's first spring training In Florida, had this to say, "Well, we certainly gota lot out of the week we spent In Fort Lauderdale, what with dally practices, and the doubleheader against the Yanks, There's no doubt abOut it. they deflnltlily are the World Champs, but I think we could have taken- that second game as well ,if our defense was a Iitlle tighter and we had a few more timely hits."

What Coach Is nlferrlng to Is the Ducks split with the World Cht!mpion N.Y. Yankees In their meeting In Fort Lauderdale's stadium before 20,000 fans. I,.. the first game, a 3-0 shutout tossed by senior Bob "Tipsy", Stephens collected nine hits off starter Jim "fCa'tflsh" Hunter before chasing him In the -seventh Inning - the big blow being a two-run blast, by Don Hammerdick behind a double by John Jawblow. Tipsy posted 14 strikeouts in his first outing of the season Including striking out the final three baitersThurman Munson, Reggie Jaokson, and Chris Chambllsswith the bases loaded, However, in the nightcap, the Ducks lost 5-4 In 13 Innings.

Stephens starter Glenn Restroom allowed 4 Yankee runs on just 6 hits and struck out 10 before being lifted for a pinch hiller in the 11th Inning. However, following a four-run 6th Inning for Steph'ens, highlighted by a three-run homer by third sacker Man McDan oil N,Y. starter Don Gullett, Yankee manager Billy Martin called on ace reliever Sparkey Lyle to hold the Ducks In check for the remainder of the game. Despite a stellar performance by Lyle, the Ducks had several opportunities to score In the extra Innings but failed to come up wifh the needed hll. The deciding play came In the bottom of the 13th Inning When, with Buoky Dent on second via a walk and sacrifice, pinchhitter Cliff Hohnson drove deep to center sending Greg Kotex sprlnllng back to the wall. After a brilliant over-the-shoulder grab, G reg smashed into the wall and dropped the ball, whereupon Dent scored and geve freshman Nick Bonehead the loss In relief of Restroom:;..

Pepperman lost In a close 3 sil', error stetlstlos sheets 'and wln- ' match, In doubles, dela Rosa nlng, Unfortunately, bOth were again "splltllp'towiri at number In vain: The error sheets wireall 2, but oould only manage split used up, after match sets at number 3. FIlling out the which put' singles Iineupwes Mark "What's coach' Billy" Tendoos' into, a the Score" Tellier at number 6. spasm. The winning part' was He 'also teamed up with one of close but no orgasm. The wllllie : the dela Rosa personalities at- match was anti-climactic but' number 3. At number 1 daubles Coach Mlcheloll Vilis ,stili happy: was Vegomatlc and Pepper-' with the turnout. Nanuk said ' man. They Jumped to a ,; devaStating 1-0 leed w!len one buying the kielbasa. The"nexl ' of the Pace player's seeing-eye match is on Saturdsy against ,dogs jumped the fence after Prall in Brooklyn' at 11 a:rri.

That's right, the Ducks have kept ,on scoring. Chuck "Killer" been ranked first In the neWly Slashcovitch,' Joe "4.0"" formed NCAA Division 1100. Booklnlltll, and Jim "IP" Daily of such Lacrosse kept the ,girls. I,n line with their. ltbwerhouses as Vassar, 'aggressive midfield play and, Radcliffe,' Willowbrook, Merty "Dunk" 'wea moor, and CCNY. This high ranking is. due to Tech's big Loose Balls - senior Mike "the upset win o"er former 111 Nose Knows'" 'Anteater 'was Vassar, at Vassar, 9-8. benched for skipping. '

The Vassar game was Frankie- In favor of his wedding. frankleBaby's crowning aChievement .Baby got suspicious when he to his coaching career. With the found out the servlcewesset for. score tied at 8, and less than a -June. Also benched wes "I minute to play Frankie called wei'll to sewanhaka, but I still time-out. Here he celled a play can't play lacr.os,u" for AI "MVP" Terp, to take the Crankymante, for wrillng this ball behind the net, and corne shltlorthesecondyearlnarow. around the netforthefinel shot. '

,baU from the ref ,. howeVer. hit"triPPed, and/tb., '" ',,,",, ball was kicked over to Billy" Stillstoned who beat' the dazed Vassar goalie with a len foot rockelthatjuilt,'\ickledover the goal line. '

The game had been tight all the way, as Vassar 'had been going goal for goal with' ·the Ducks. The Tech' defenSe tightened up iii the end, and goalie Mike "Sieve" Murrrrrr even made a save late In the game to keep the score tied at 8. The offense led by AI, Clilp & Dale Lango, and Rockford Ab-' bratl consistently took advantage of the Vassar Defense, and

There will be e' newspaper drive at Stavens for the benefit of the American Heart Association, Please brIng as many, old newspapers as possible.'

Location: 4 marked trucks on campus

Oalel: April 3- 7

Questions: Pel8 Weir Box 1149 or 7989799

April

- -'. - ',.

Clubhouse Confidential· CdachWally Whitalllng.-In-amove_ to stre,ngthen his ·depleted m,aund in the trade market: Aumors halle it that he's ofterlng·the two T.P'S, Tom PlifUalUaillonus; "Gimpy" Pierced, for a lightly used Mchlng:m!!llhl!'!!' two

,An point is that t",e'staff g6fthln loVN!!I,;l',iJrch

"Slum A,at". Dymus' ,cartie:: up with, II

," Gonorrhea:andmononucleosls, Woat a •. Year "I 'want a woman;:'. " and now that he finds one heen.!:ls up with more-tllan he bargained 'for. BOI'1Il",ead .!Jot down-, in Florldil:that he's been Greek". Ti'Ouble[i.,the ' games" IIpt Coa9h Witalljl1g's ,a;b,lg,'b,o.C?st down 1':1 " Flc,rida whell'team sfar ;'," "Cap" :::',.Notto, be outdone, by. Whlta111iig's.tradii::,inaneuvel'$, , "'Frank'ie , to,Rutgers fofJhr/!8doz8/'l

'Finals. In' defensemen ,.'and, 'IFgoalie t,o' ',Bpb: ;,Ihe •:bad,: ,that" admlillstratl,on: Immealatlily:!!put, him' pn 'probation' GodfatherAay ,forr(! for all theolll/eo!lh'(,Slci,ly: ,: / ,"; ,7"),, :;,:,;' - Due to at ' " Buzzed Sayniorehai decliled Jt! 'Insure'tl:l" '1981rig tradition at Tech never changes; Next 'schedules lricludii,home'base'ball game's against ArlzeiQi state: U'.,d' Miami; USC, and Cornell, Johns .HopkihS', ,NavY/and Rutgers. ' For the s8110nd consecutive year; Pat 'SO haS been selected:Sponsman of the, Year- by 'the SlUPE 'Sports Editorial 'Staff •. Pat. , .'

: "

In an excluslvelnterviewln'the' :"key" Player;", Coach liar Chatter Box last' "19'1:I1 "replied" "Who?" , Stephens' Basketball' C,Ollch< assistant coach' John Liar predlcted:'that next Welly',Flt.takerbOth are confi" ' year the team would "gO to the 'de:nt triat next year's team will NIT" as part of a greatly upon ,the 8-12 record proved season, 'Coach, LI!ir, 'posted fof-illis season;' '" , stated. "I feel that thi.s goal is', '_ !'The ,spirit and' Intensity of entirely wtthln rea9 h After_ all playal' the end of the season , we will have, all our key. w,as the' key '1,0 us winning live players back, ,! the boys oOt 'our"last,elght games. Next really do a good Job, Im year In, order to make'sure we Institute will bUy us so. get that Intenslty"we're going to we go to the N,I.T. s next .glve uppers to the players!' yeer. Coach Liar denied the rumor When asked Why this year's' that he was leaving Stephens to captain, Snotty Salivan'et, work for the u.s, State Departwasn't mentioned' as being a m.ent a, diplo'mat.

Liar Makes Predlction-'

WARNINGI

ATTENTION FROSHI

Dean Tomato and the IDC will conduct a surprise dorm check todayl

Stash your no-no's q (A pUblic service message from the STUPE)

RCA Splice Center Is ceilibreling itl 20th Anniversity

Anyone Interested In visiting the Space Center for a tour of the Space. Craft and CommunlcUon Satellites and a discussion of the engineerIng processes involved.

.

By order of the President of the United States, PEANUrS CARTER, the Slephens Tech Athlellc Field has been declared 8 DISASTER AREA

Deep ThrOllI - This person has successfully swallowlld I 31 inch baseball bat;

..,.

TECH

Contlcl BOX 380

\ , , 1, 19r8

",

N'f At Mal sen Fin (M wa -