The Student Pocket Guide Scotland Edition Freshers 2017

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FRESHERS 2017

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SCOTLAND #37

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US PL WORST PICK UP LINES BEST COSTUDENT -OP GAMES ART SHAVING TIPS TRANSPORT HACKS UPCOMING MOVIES SOCIAL+ANXIETY MORE

MICHELLE KEEGAN KRAFTY KUTS

FERRY CORSTEN

WOLF ALICE

JERMAINE JENAS

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Whether you've own the nest for the rst time, or you’re embarking on a second, third or even fourth year, welcome to the Freshers’ term!

The time when university (and college) is lled with young innocent faces... Give it a few weeks :) Don't worry if you've forgotten anything. All you really need is your social-self and to be ready to settle in and make some new friends. If like me, you didn't remember to buy a fridge (and don't have access to one), what better excuse to knock on your neighbours door and see if they can help you out for a few days? Be nice and welcoming to other newbies because even if you're not nervous, others might be.

Some say that the best mates you will ever meet are at university - this statement is very true, so why not get out there and have the time of your life - maybe arrange to go to the pub so you can break the ice and take advantage of the cheap drinks deals.

This might sound ridiculous, but I started The Student Pocket Guide after moving from my home town in Hertfordshire to study in Norwich. I knew nothing about the area I had moved to, nor did I even know what Freshers’ week was! I missed out that year (I made up for it), and wanted to start a magazine to provide you with useful tips on where to go, what to do, and what the local businesses have to offer so you can make the most of your money and have the best possible time whilst studying.

Before you embark on the madness which is about to begin, take a ick through this issue of SPG. There are loads of student discounts, deals and tips, as well as exclusive interviews with Dynamo, Michelle Keegan, Ferry Corsten, Wolf Alice, Jermaine Jenas and Krafty Kuts.

Don't forget to nd and follow ‘The Student Pocket Guide’ on socials for more exclusive deals and offers throughout the term. STAY SAFE.

Ben Farrin Founder and Group MD

Follow me on

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MICHELLE KEEGAN

MICROWAVE PUDDINGS

FERRY CORSTEN

HANGOVER SUPERFOODS

WOLF ALICE HELP WITH SOCIAL ANXIETY

JERMAINE JENAS

EARN POINTS, WIN PRIZES

All Rights Reserved © The Student Pocket Guide Ltd 2017. The entire contents of this publication are protected by copyright. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form. The publishers do not accept responsibility for any of the views or opinions expressed in this guide, errors or omissions which may have occurred, or accept liability for any services or facilities featured. Whilst every effort is made to ensure that all information is correct, changes may and can occur.

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“I ripped my pants open during a show once. I kept going though; I had to!”

ALEX,

ALL TIME LOW

“A few years ago at a college show, I don’t know how but I slipped on stage and I fell flat on my back with the instrument still on. No one else in the band even stopped, but I just remember that moment of all of a sudden I’m having a great time and then I’m staring up at the ceiling thinking, oh my God...”

DANIEL,

BOYCE AVENUE

“I nearly fell off the stage playing live at Glastonbury - on the main stage as well, in front of nearly 100,000 people.

I didn’t actually fall, but I nearly did, so that’s one. I can’t think of any others!”

JOE,

SIGMA

“There are so many! My show is just talking about embarrassing moments. Someone once complained about me on a plane because I sleep with my eyes open. Not the whole way, but enough for it to be weird.

And if he hadn’t have realised I sleep with my eyes open, he would have just thought I was staring at him for 2 hours on a plane, drooling with a semi. It wasn’t great.”

JACK WHITEHALL

“I was working with a guy in a studio in LA and he was giving me some chords he thought were cool, but I wasn’t too sure about them, so I just did my normal thing and made sure the song sounded right to me. And then all of a sudden a voice shouts into the room, “Hey Babyface, you need anything?” And there was only me and this other guy in the room!

I was under the impression I was just working with an acoustic guitar player! I was thinking, “Bro, the amount of hits you’ve had as Babyface and I’m telling you your chords aren’t right...” So that was slightly embarrassing, but it broke the ice!”

CRAIG DAVID

“Pressing stop by accident when you’re at a festival in front of thousands of people.”

WILKINSON

The Freshers’ Fair; great fun, but worth a think so you don’t run afoul of a few rookie mistakes.

So listen up, because the SPG has been to a few of these rodeos before!

DON’T SIGN UP FOR EVERYTHING

It can be really tempting to stick your name down on every single society under the sun. But as well as the membership fees, where are you going to find the time to do all these things?

I’m not saying don’t give the Windsurfing Soc a go, I’m just saying you might not have time alongside your volleyball, ultimate frisbee and interpretive dance commitments.

FREE STUFF! IT’S NOT A CHALLENGE Most stalls will give you something for free, but don’t take the mick. There is nothing more depressing than seeing a fresher pretending to be incredibly interested in television licencing so they can get a free bag of Haribo Starmix. Or dragging away five carrier bags of free pens…

GIMMICK SOCS ARE POINTLESS You only have so much time at uni. These 3 or so years are a time for you to really enjoy yourself. Don’t waste it on a soc called “Harambe Was An Inside Job Soc”. Okay, it’s funny for about 5 minutes. But (without sounding boring), think about if you’re going to get anything out of this soc, like keeping fit or learning a new skill.

POSTERS: CHE GUEVARA IS SO 1985 Seriously, posters are cool, but don’t be a cliché. You don’t like Scarface. Che was a mass murdering Stalinist bureaucrat. Get a poster, sure! But come on; don’t get some lame predictable tat.

Try local junk shops for something cool to put on the walls.

Don’t just settle for Family Guy mass produced rubbish.

DON’T SIGN UP JUST BECAUSE THE SOC REP IS FIT They won’t be at any of the meetings. They will already have a partner. You have no interest in Bollywood cinema. Just spare yourself the heartache and save yourself a few quid in membership subs. Still though, have a good time.

Get in touch...

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A stranger is a friend you haven’t met yet! Or they are a weirdo who you have to live with in halls for the next academic year.

Either way, here’s a rundown.

The Closed DOOR

The Closed Door is seldom seen, but never in. You’re pretty sure you saw someone move in there on the first day, said hello. But for the life of you, you can’t remember what they actually look like. Kind of tall in a shortish way with blonde-brown-gingery hair? Kind of missing the point in communal living, but at least they won’t be any trouble.

THE MUM AND DAD

You might not like this person, but you will like their mum and dad.

Specifically, you will like that they were sent to university with half the contents of John Lewis for kitchen gadgets and most of a decent sized M&S for food. He will bring home cakes after going home for the weekend.

He will always have money to get around with because his parents are loaded. I’m not saying pretend to be his friend so you can mooch off him, but… wait, that’s exactly what I’m saying.

THE DRAMA LLAMA

Often mistaken for the Party Animal (see below) The Drama Llama is anything but. There is always something wrong. Split up with the boyfriend on the day they are kicked off their course because their pet rabbit ate something dodgy. They will fall out with other people in the halls quicker than Donald Trump would buy hand expansion surgery. They will demand you take their side like a Game of Thrones style power play only to move on to the next bit of drama when they get bored. Avoid.

THE FOOD THIEF

There is someone in your halls; someone who steals food. Maybe they are a politics student who took “all property is theft” a little too close to heart. Either way they are an evil that must be purged from the earth with fire and steel. Okay, a little milk for a cup of tea every now and again isn’t going to be the end of the world, but a full multipack of Monster Munch (yes, I am bitter, thank you for noticing) is just too far, dammit.

THE PARTY ANIMAL

“WOOOO! Last night was amazeballs! We’re going out tonight again right? Yeah, I KNOW we have a 9am seminar tomorrow and we haven’t done any work! So? SCREW YOU! YOU’RE SO BORING!”

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A mobile is called a “Handy� in Germany, and for good reason.

The thought of going anywhere without one can induce fear in some, so why not make the most out of our addiction with these handy tips?

By Elliot Norman

Identify Songs Falling in love with a random song on the radio isn’t a common occurrence for me, making the event of missing the title when it does happen extremely frustrating. You could try googling some of the lyrics, but without a perfect memory you’re not going to have much success. That’s why the Shazam app is a total lifesaver. Since most of us have our phones at the ready at any given moment, opening the app and holding it up to your radio speakers will take mere seconds. Shazam will then proceed to accurately identify the song, just like magic! It’s available on Apple, Windows and Android devices. For those who don’t see the benefit, don’t write Shazam off just yet: seeing whether it can guess the song from your own voice makes a fun drinking game.

Block Numbers

Block annoying numbers completely by doing the following: On iPhone: Go to your missed call log and hit the “i” button next to the dodgy number, and then hit “block”. That’s it!

On Windows Phone: On your missed call log, hold your finger over the number and the “block” option will appear.

On Android: Open the phone app, then open the menu in the top right of the screen and select Call Settings > Call reject > Reject calls from.

Now tap the plus icon, and add that pesky number from either your contacts or you missed call log. That last one was a mouthful; minus one point for UI, Android...

Use your Phone as a Level

At the slight risk of sounding like grandpa, think about how many devices you would have to carry around for all your daily tasks: a calculator? No thanks. A compass?

I’m not Bear Grylls. You’d even need a book about 0.04 light years thick just to account for the internet. And yes, your phone actually can be used as a level. Here’s how: On iPhone: launch the compass app, and then swipe to the left to access the level. You will need to turn your phone to the side and may need to calibrate your compass first. As for Windows and Android devices, you’re going to have to download an app.

Save time with ‘‘IF’’

“IF” functions carry out tasks on your phone based on certain occurrences. For example, IF functions can be used to switch off your mobile data when you’re in range of your home Wifi. Say good bye to those whopping phone bills that come through when you accidentally spend 3 hours on YouTube. The IF app is currently only available on Apple and Android.

STUDENT TICKETS AVAILABLE FOR MANY OF OUR SHOWS

Visit ATGTICKETS.COM/Edinburgh for further details or visit our venue box office between 12pm - 6pm Mon - Sat (8pm show nights).

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK

This Netflix-original series is based on the book of the same name, and follows the story of Piper Chapman. A 30-something year old public relations executive with a fiancé, who is sentenced to serve time in a women’s minimum security prison for association with a drug runner from ten years earlier.

The drug runner? She just happens to be her ex-girlfriend whom she is reunited with in prison. Piper’s sentence suddenly disrupts her upper middle class lifestyle and her relationship, as she is thrown into the world of prison where she meets some interesting characters... Having received various awards, Orange Is The New Black is the most watched Netflix-original series.

13 REASONS WHY

Hannah, a young woman who takes her own life, leaves mysterious tapes which reveal 13 reasons why she decided to commit suicide. This heart wrenching drama is told through Clay, her best friend, who finds the tapes in a box in his porch.

Clay must listen to the tapes to find out whether he is one of the reasons why poor Hannah chose to end her life. It’s a hard hitting show, not meant for the emotionally weak. The show has become incredibly popular this year, though has had criticism for the way it portrays mental health issues...

STRANGER THINGS

Another thrilling Netflix-original science-fiction drama which concerns Joyce Byers; a woman who lives in a small Indiana town during the 1980s, and launches an intense investigation into the disappearance of her 12 year-old son, Will.

As they search for answers, they discover a series of terrifying and extraordinary mysteries, including secret government experiments and the world of the paranormal...

Packed with fear, thrills, and horror – this isn’t for the weak hearted.

BOJACK HORSEMAN

A warped animated comedy starring humanoid animals, which follows the story of BoJack Horseman – a humanoid horse who is a washed up celebrity famous for a sitcom he starred in during the 90s.

After wallowing in his self-loathing and booze, he decides it’s finally time for a comeback. With the help of Todd (a failed member of society who lives on BoJack’s couch) and his feline ex-girlfriend who also happens to be BoJack’s agent – they work together to bring BoJack back into the spotlight. With plenty of references to sex, drugs, and booze, it’s definitely not one for the kids.

BETTER CALL SAUL

If you’re a fan of the highly successful show, Breaking Bad, then you’ll know all about Saul Goodman.

But six years before Goodman’s association with meth-chemist, Walter White, Goodman was Jimmy McGill – an underdog attorney looking to make something of himself. He’s known for his low-income clients, and works with an ex-cop from Philadelphia, Mike Ehrmantraut, who is a master of resolving some pretty tricky situations... If you’ve watched Breaking Bad, you’ll love this.

RICK & MORTY

This obscenely whacky animation follows alcoholic, sociopathic scientist, Rick Sanchez who appears on daughter Beth’s door step after going missing for twenty years. Although he is welcomed by Beth and moves into the family’s garage to use as his personal laboratory - Beth’s husband, Jerry, isn’t happy about the reunion. The part that bothers Jerry most? Rick spends his time creating deadly and beyond unusual sci-fi gadgets and taking his grandchildren, Morty and Summer, on dangerous trips across the universe. Although the show looks colourful and imaginative – it’s filled with foul language, sexual references, and a very twisted sense of humour...

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Leader of her sorority and controlling of those around her, Theresa had her life exactly how she wanted - until one night, when she is unexpectedly murdered. However, Theresa wakes up the next morning, and is forced to relive the day of her murder over and over again, until she discovers the killer and their motives... Will she find out before she runs out of lives?

Get ready for a creepy release.

After a series of natural disasters which had devastating effects on the planet, the government creates an intricate network of satellites which can literally control the global climate and the weather to keep everyone safe. But a malfunction means that the satellites which were once protecting Earth are now attacking it. Jake, (Gerard Butler) must head into space and race against the clock if he is to save the human race.

The eighth instalment of the ‘Saw’ franchise sees ‘Jigsaw’, which picks up ten years after the death of the renowned Jigsaw killer. Bodies begin showing up all over the town, each with their own uniquely gruesome injuries and causes of death. As the investigation gets increasingly disturbing, the evidence points to only one man: John Kramer aka Jigsaw – the man who has supposedly been dead for over a decade...

A sequel to the 2015 film, Dusty (Mark Wahlberg) and Brad (Will Ferrell) have made amends and joined forces to give their kids and step-kids the ultimate Christmas.

But just when it seemed things had worked out for the best, Dusty’s tough-guy dad, (Mel Gibson) and Brad’s overly emotional father, (John Lithgow) join them for Christmas and the family is yet again thrown into chaos.

Coming to a cinema near you, the highly anticipated ‘Goodbye Christopher Robin’ gives us a glimpse into the life of beloved Winnie the Pooh author, A.A. Milne, and his son Christopher Robin who inspired the magical children’s books with his toys.

Watch and see for yourself how the family, including wife Daphne (Margot Robbie), are caught up in international success when the books provide solace and comfort to England after WW1. But what will become of Christopher Robin with the world’s eyes on him?

The next chapter in the ongoing Star Wars saga is coming. ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ is a follow up from 2015’s ‘The Force Awakens’, and will follow Rey as she continues her journey with Poe, Finn, and Luke Skywalker.

A reboot of the 1995 film, four teenagers are sucked into a game console (as opposed to a board game in the original) and thrown straight into jungle life, forced to play as their avatars. Dwayne Johnson, Jack Black, Kevin Hart, and Karen Gillan endure a game of survival, and if they fail, they’ll be trapped in the game forever.

The Bellas are back to sing their hearts out for a third time! After winning the acapella world championships, the girls find themselves split apart from one another, attempting to pursue their own separate careers. However, after struggling to find the right job prospects, they decide to reunite for an overseas tour where they can make some music and have fun one last time.

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Michelle Keegan is an English actress, well known for portraying Tina McIntyre in the popular ITV soap, Coronation Street. After being obsessed with the first series of Our Girl, in 2016 Michelle was given the opportunity to play Corporal Georgie Lane - taking over the lead role from Eastenders actress Lacey Turner. Not only do we discuss the show, but also being a beauty ambassador for Revlon. Michelle shares her top beauty tips and her Revlon makeup must-haves! Oh and how us girls need to stop faffing when we’re getting ready for a night out!

Photo Credit: BBC

Hi Michelle! We appreciate you speaking with us today as I bet you’ve been unbelievably busy lately! What exactly have you been up to?

I’m filming Our Girl at the minute and I’m filming for 7 and a half months. I’ve been to Nepal and South Africa. I came home for 2 weeks and now I’m back out again in Malaysia until the beginning of December. I’ve never been to this part of the world before so it’s really exciting.

You were a massive fan of the first series of Our Girl which starred Lacey Turner.

How did it feel when you were given the chance to be a part of it all?

When I first started, it was really daunting because it’s a well established show and I didn’t know how the audience would react to a new lead character. Obviously when I read the script it was amazing, and I thought it could go down really well. Just not knowing how people were going to take to it was nerve-racking but exciting at the same time.

I bet going through the script made it seem so much more real! What’s been the highlight for you so far throughout the whole filming experience this year?

I’d have to say the Nepal segment just because again, I’ve never been anywhere like that. I was filming in a village in Kathmandu called Dolaka and it was just a massive eye opener for me.

The people who lived in the village had never really left before. The whole village shares a toilet which is like a hole in the floor. But for me, it was the people – it was how humble they were, how welcoming they were and how happy they were. They were just so friendly and happy and it made me realise how lucky I am and how you have to appreciate every little thing in life. I came away with a whole new outlook on life after being there, which was really nice!

That sounds like an amazing experience. I’d love to go somewhere like Nepal!

It was amazing. On the last day, we walked around and went to see all of the temples which I’ve always wanted to do – it was unbelievable. We were in Nepal for about 2 and a half weeks.

Then we flew straight from Nepal to South Africa and stayed there for 3 months.

What was it like being in South Africa for 3 months?

I’ve been to South Africa a few times now so I feel really comfortable there. I do really love that country and it was nice to go back. You need to go – it’s one of the best places I’ve ever been. I love everything about it; the culture, the people, the food – oh it’s just so good!

the guns look really “light on TV, but I’m telling you now, they’re ridiculously heavy! ”

You had 2 weeks’ worth of army boot camp, right?

Yes! We had boot camp before we went out and we did it last year as well. This year we did a week of boot camp in Sandhurst, which was like a little refresher to remind ourselves how to put the kit on, how to hold a gun and how to extract the patients.

Especially for me as well because I’m playing a medic, I needed to refresh my medical skills. It’s quite vital really because we’re always doing so much; we haven’t got time to go through everything again and again and again. It does help a lot!

The captains obviously have to be strict and have to push you through it; were there any times where you felt like giving up when you first experienced boot camp?

Not this year because I knew what I was getting into. Probably the first year I did it, it was quite hard, especially when I went to South Africa. We did a boot camp in South Africa and that was

Photo Credit: BBC

really hard because we were wearing like 3 layers and the bag that I wore on my back, which is called a Bergen, it had 50 kilograms worth of weight in it, which is basically me on my back. They don’t take any of the weight out because they say you move differently with a heavy bag on your back. So if I had a light bag, I’d be walking normal. They have to make you walk like a proper soldier. The thing is as well, the guns look really light on TV, but I’m telling you now, they’re ridiculously heavy!

You must have so many positive memories from going to boot camp?

Oh God yeah! You know when you look back and just go “oh that was so good; I just want to do it all over again”.

Can you tell us about the character you play - who is Georgie?

Going onto a different subject now - what are your top 5 beauty tips at the moment?

It’s all about skin care for me. I love looking after my skin. I never go to bed wearing any makeup, even if I go on a night out, I’ll always find time to take my makeup off, whether it’s just with a wipe or whatever, the makeup always has to come off before bed. Cleansing and moisturising is a very

Photo Credit: BBC

This season Georgie has been promoted to Corporal, last year she played Lance Corporal. She is the female medic and this year she’s playing the mother hen. She has to mentor a new Private who’s coming, who’s a bit wayward and looks a bit on edge - she’s called Maisie Richards. The relationship between them two is really interesting. Georgie has never been in charge of someone before so this time she is.

important one too. Makeup wise, I hate the feeling of being caked, so I use a tinted moisturiser and then cover with concealer. I always try to keep it quite minimal during the day by sticking to the basics, and then at night I can look different and experiment a bit more.

How long does it take for you to get ready for a night out?

Well, it depends on whether my hair is already washed or not. If my hair was already washed, it would take me about 40 minutes to do everything. With me, I’ll stop and start. I’ll have a shower, then I’ll sit on my bed afterwards, then I’ll do my make up, then faff around, I’ll try and do my hair then go make a cup of tea. Just things like that! If I didn’t faff it would take about 40 minutes.

It probably takes me 2 hours to get ready if I’m faffing!

Yes! That’s how long it takes me if I’m faffing. Sometimes you want to get ready slowly don’t you, I hate that rushed feeling.

Boyfriends are the worst for making you rush...

How annoying is it when they shout upstairs “are you nearly ready?”... I’m just thinking ‘shut up’!

As a Revlon ambassador, you must be obsessed with makeup – what are your Revlon makeup must haves and why?

There’s so many that I love! I’d have to say the ‘Ultimate All-In-One Mascara’ because with that one, you can layer it. So during the day, I’ll wear one layer and then at night, I’ll keep on topping it up – it gives you the fake eyelash look. My favourite product is the ‘Ultra HD Matte Lipcolor’ and my favourite colour in that is ‘Seduction’, which is like a nude pink. I love it because it stays on all day and it doesn’t dry your lips out either! It’s one of my favourite products.

What are your plans for the rest of this year?

Well I’m in Malaysia now and I’m filming until the beginning of December. So that’s going to be for another 3 months. At the end of the year, I will probably take some time off for the Christmas period and get ready for that.

Thanks so much for your time Michelle, it’s been a pleasure to speak to you!

Thanks darling, have a good day!

Our Girl, BBC One, October

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Ladies can be busy creatures. For some reason, they don’t even have time to stop and eat, hence the half eaten Mars bar squashed at the bottom of the bag.

Will she continue eating it later? Probably.

No girl can have just one pair of sunglasses.

You need round ones, oval ones, square ones, retro ones, aviators, and many others. Unlike men, one pair of sunglasses doesn’t go with any and every outfit. Women like to have a substantial amount of choices when it comes to eyewear.

Every woman carries powder foundation with them.

Unfortunately, it usually breaks inside the bag and crumbles everywhere. Thanks to this, everything else will be covered in the stuff! It’s just an absolute mess in there...

Why? Because women don’t empty their handbags.

They’re full of rubbish and sweets which are probably at least two years out of date. She’ll catch a glimpse of the gum rolling around at the bottom of her Mary Poppins bag, and get excited thinking it’s the gum she bought last week - until she puts it in her mouth... Gross.

It’s been rattling around in there since that festival she went to four years ago. She still uses it and it works just fine. However, the consistency is now rather gloopy, and there’s unexplainable grit in it which feels horrible when rubbed between your hands.

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EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW B Y

C H R I S

R E E V E

Jermaine Jenas is a retired English professional footballer and current TV pundit for the BBC’s Match of The Day. Over the course of his career, Jenas has made over 340 league appearances for 5 dierent clubs in the UK, U including Nottingham Forest, Newcastle United, Tottenham Hotspur, Aston Villa and Queens Park Rangers. Not only has he made hundreds of appearances for these top ight clubs but he also scored for his country!

First of all, thanks for chatting to us, what are you up to right now?

I’ve just got back from the gym and I’m sat in my living room on the floor, just talking to you (laughs).

SPG’s HQ is actually in Norwich. So technically, our loyalties lie with the green and yellow army! What do you think Norwich City’s chances are of reaching the Premier League at the end of the season? Be nice!

The Championship is a weird thing. You’re a Norwich City fan and I’m not going to disrespect you. You go there every single week; I don’t watch Norwich City every week, but I know the Championship very well. It’s a league full of surprises. You lot have actually got a good squad of players and are one of the teams I would expect to be in and around the Playoff positions. The Championship is a league where anything can happen. I did the first game of the season in the Championship last year when Fulham played Newcastle, and I was asked something similar.

I was speaking to a lot of Fulham fans; a lot of them were very nervous and worried about the season ahead. I was asked what my thoughts were on Fulham and at the start of the season; I thought they were going to struggle. They didn’t have enough strength within their squad and everything pointed to danger. But they had an unbelievable season and were unfortunate not to be promoted. The Championship is what it is.

Good man, thank you very much. What is your proudest moment both during your football career and after you hung up your boots? I got the Young Player of the Year award in my first or second season which was a big one. I think anything that’s noticed by your fellow professionals is pretty special. Journalists can have their own opinion and they can write their scores in the papers on a Sunday morning - giving people six, seven, eight or whatever it is - but when your fellow players actually stand up and decide to vote that you’re the best young player in the country and the Premier League, it’s a very special moment. I’m not sure it gets much bigger than playing for your country, as well.

So they’re probably top of my list.

Since hanging up my boots, that’s a weird one (laughs). When you stop playing, the heights are very different, I suppose. The sense of walking out to 90,000 or 100,000 people goes away so it’s just the little things in life I suppose, like looking after my kids. It’s great to actually be able to spend some quality time with them instead of constantly having to worry about the next game coming up that weekend and looking after yourself. It’s been nice to just enjoy life as a dad for once.

I’m sure you know that football punditry creates a lot of opinions, and even some rather nasty tweets sometimes. How do you deal with online trolls? I don’t care. I’ve always been quite level headed when it comes down to anything really. Regardless of whether it’s a reporter writing a bad piece on my performance or behaviour during my playing career, or whether it’s

I’m shocked at the amount of people who don’t know Match of the Day is live. a troll on Twitter, I literally don’t care because I know myself. The people who I value the most are my friends and family, and if any of those turned around and said something bad to me, I would worry. There are trolls on Twitter who only use it just to be disruptive. When people start giving racist or sexist abuse, you’ve got to cross a different line where you do have to get the police involved, because that person needs to be stopped. In terms of just having a go at a bit of punditry, I’m not going to lose sleep over that if I’m honest with you.

Good answer! So give us the inside scoop on Match of the Day – whilst it’s broadcast to the nation, is there anything the viewer wouldn’t know goes on behind the scenes? I’m shocked at the amount of people who don’t know Match of the Day is live. I can’t believe that so many people think it’s pre-recorded, it baffles me. There have been times where we’ve been in the middle of a show and Gary has got a piece of information from his ear

piece saying that someone has just been sacked. So we have to bring that into our show and if we pre-recorded a show, that can’t happen. You’ve got to be so on the ball and that’s why the show is live all of the time now. You can’t miss any little bit of information from anyone; you’ve got to be current and the first person to deliver it. That’s why Match of the Day is one of the best shows people seem to go to.

In terms of the inside scoop, the level of work that goes into putting a show forward is far beyond what people think. We all post videos of us having a laugh in the green room, but in reality, I’m watching 2 games, Gary’s watching a couple of games, Alan or whoever’s with myself will be watching a couple of games. It’s intense and we’re constantly taking notes of the things going on. We’re not arguing but we’re debating about the games going on.

Someone will have an opinion on how the game’s going, and someone will fight back and say “I don’t see that”. We don’t always get on, which is great for the show and we will obviously see the game differently at times.

What was it like being in the same team as all time Premier League top goal scorer Alan Shearer, and what’s it like to now be sharing the same Match of the Day couch with him on a Saturday night?

It was a brilliant experience. I have to say, I caught Alan at the back end of his career. In the 4 years I played for Newcastle, 2 of them were brilliant. You’re talking some special moments – playing in the Champions League, I was just 19 years old, walking out into the San Siro against Inter Milan for Newcastle. When you’ve got Alan Shearer by your side it gives you that bit of comfort. I suppose from a midfielder’s perspective, it’s always great knowing that any kind of supply I would give him I’d get an assist because he’d put the ball in the back of the net guaranteed. From a team perspective he was the last of a dying breed, in terms of the centre forward that is bullish.

I remember being at home as a kid watching Euro 96 and Alan Shearer score a load of goal goals. All of a sudden I’m sat next to him in the changing room and he’s my team mate.

If there was just one thing you could change about football, what would it be and why? The game is changing, to the point where players are earning a huge amount of money. Players used to retire, maybe used to start up a pub but the majority went into managing and coaching – they were kind of forced down that road due to financial reasons. So you’ve now got players who are essentially like businesses. The amount of money they are bringing in on a yearly basis is phenomenal; they’re never going to work again. To be forced down the road of management isn’t going to happen.

Some will obviously go into punditry and some will retire with all of their money. There’s a market out there which will improve the game, which will be for League 1, League 2 and the Conference type players. For when they retire, to go down the refereeing road is a little bit too by the book sometimes, and I think that’s why you see a lot of arguments. There’s not really enough inside knowledge on what it’s like to play the game. Don’t get me wrong, there are referees who do understand it, but there’s too many who don’t actually get it. Some don’t even understand the little things which as a player, I can see straight away. The referee has the hardest job in the game by a mile. I think one thing which would make a big change is the minute we have some very professional footballers referee for 5 years. The fact that they’ve actually played the game will instantly put referees in a better light.

I agree – I think that would be a very good initiative. So you’ve already mentioned there that the huge transfer fees in football now are on another planet. What do you think you’d be worth in the current market?

Probably about £50 mil, something like that. When I left Nottingham Forest as an 18 year old to play for Newcastle, I think I was the third most expensive teenager in the world. It was crazy at the time; I can remember going up to Newcastle, and you couldn’t watch any channel without my face being on it – it was mental. I can remember the press conference and I had never seen so many cameras in my life. But I didn’t put the fee on my own head, everyone else decided that.

What’s happening in football nowadays is that there is just so much money involved. So when people scream and shout “What, Kyle Walker for 48 million pounds, are you crazy?” they need to remember that there is so much money within the sport, so players are going to get paid well!

Okay cool. Who do you think is going to win the Premier League this season and why? I think Manchester City will win. I’ve thought that from the start of the season. They’ve got the strongest squad.

>>>

Can you give some advice to students looking to get into journalism like yourself, punditry or even pursuing a football career?

The journalism one is an interesting one and I actually get asked that quite a lot. I suppose it’s a weird one for me as I haven’t gone down that journalistic route. I can give something to the people who talk about football to me as I’ve lived it for 20 odd years. I look at some of the best in the business I suppose, and I speak of those a lot like Mark Chapman who works for the BBC. I speak to him a lot about his development of where he went. I’ve always been interested in how he got to where he is, and he basically did everything that he could possibly do. I try and put myself in a comfortable position to learn. If it goes well, stick at it and if not, it will eventually turn around.

So have an understanding, learn as much as possible and get to know people? Yes definitely, do as much as you can and be open to anything.

Take advice from anyone, even though it might not be what you want to do, it could get you where you want to be.

Awesome Jermaine, Thank you for your time! Brilliant - thank you.

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You’re broke and need money for booze.

The SPG doesn’t judge. And we are here to help…

Selling stuff on eBay isn’t exactly rocket science. And for those studying rocket science (good for you!), you have no excuse. Remember, your old tat is someone else’s lazy fancy dress costume.

One of the best ways to learn is by teaching someone else. If you’re fairly smart, you can offer tuition to students in the year below you. And even if you’re a bit thick, you can offer English Language lessons to gullible exchange students.

Has something interesting happened to you? Get some easy money by selling your story to a middle man who will approach magazines and newspapers, which will pay good money for an exclusive about the time you fell asleep on a bus and got married to a duck.

Visit www.sellmystory.co.uk

Offer to dog walk, wash cars or babysit – the classics. But they’re classics for a reason. Cash in hand, easy money. Just don’t lose the dog/car/ baby…

Working in campus shops, restaurants and bars is normally fairly low pay, but you can get free drinks for your mates (don’t tell them I said that!) and it fits around your studies.

For open days, there is a demand for students to show prospective students and their parents around campus. The pay is decent. Have fun with this and don’t be afraid to tell massive lies if you think they are funny. “Ah yes, this is the Justin Bieber Chemistry Facility. Opened by Justin last year as part of his UK tour…”

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INTERVIEW

BY

A LY S H A

ALLEN

Coming from North London, Wolf Alice are a four-piece alternative rock band. Their 2015 gold-certified debut album ‘My Love Is Cool’ hit #2 in the UK Charts in June of that year, and #12 on the Billboard Alternative Albums Chart in the USA; this is the kind of success story most fledgling guitar bands wait years to achieve. Ever since their first album, it has been incredible for them: winning a Brit, a Grammy and taking home the NME Award for Best Live Band.

Hiya Ellie, thank you for wanting to chat with us! How’ve things been in the world of Wolf Alice lately?

It’s been so good. We’re really excited to go on tour to play some new tunes. We can’t wait for people to hear the album when it comes out – such an exciting time!

It sounds very exciting. The music video for ‘Yuk Foo’ is great, I love it! What was the filming experience like?

We didn’t actually have very long to do it – we had a day – but it was good. We did the video with Adam Powell who’s a friend of ours, so it was nice to work with him. It was quite laid back and we were going on tour not long after the video was created.

So you guys were on your way back from Glastonbury, and Hayley from Paramore tweeted you - how did that make you feel?

It was a really fun time and everyone was so excited around that point - we were about to release our first album and we had just left Glastonbury. It was a really nice moment. It was actually strange to think she just listened to our tune.

>>

Is Hayley someone you admire?

Yeah, I think she’s really cool. I like some of her music and she’s definitely an important figure. So yeah, I guess so.

The past 2 years has been incredible for you! Winning a Brit, a Grammy and taking home the NME Award for Best Live Band must have felt amazing! What’s been the biggest highlight so far throughout your journey?

Going to new places like America, Australia and Japan; it was an amazing time for us. Obviously releasing the album was great and recording a new one was too!

We’ve had so many good mo-

ments throughout our journey so far, it’s quite hard to pick.

I would love to go to Australia; it’s on my bucket list. What do you love best about touring around the world? I’ll definitely have to come and see you guys when you’re on your UK tour!

It’s lovely to know that people appreciate what you’re doing all across the world. Seeing new places, meeting new people and having new experiences is just really great.

What can we expect from your live shows? Alexandra Palace is going to be a huge one!

We will be bringing our small shows to a bigger venue. We will have production, lights and all of that shebang! I can’t wait to play some of our new tunes as well as our old ones. We’ve got some great support bands lined up – it’s going to be good!

In your early days, Wolf Alice consisted of yourself and Joff Oddie. What’s the story behind Wolf Alice?

We all just wanted to start a band, but at the time, we were doing our own thing. We got brought together by a mutual friend and that’s it really. We haven’t really got an interesting story (laughs).

So how did the name ‘Wolf Alice’ come about?

It’s from a short story by Angela Carter.

What’s been your most embarrassing moment?

Maybe just the usual thing when you’re standing on stage looking like a lemon when none of your stuff works.

You’ve still got so much going on this year – what are you looking forward to the most?

I’m actually really looking forward to playing festivals next year. I also can’t wait for the release of our new album ‘Visions of a Life’.

VISIONS OF A LIFE O U T N OW W W W. WO L FA L I C E . CO. U K

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You wanna be a rock star? Don’t worry – SPG have you covered with this totally legitimate and sensible guide that is in no way a joke and should be taken completely seriously... Honestly.

We’re not joking. Some of the craziest, most famous rock stars out there are suffering with mild brain damage due to the amount of Carlsberg cans they’ve crushed against their forehead. Don’t even worry about being on stage in front of a crowd when you do it; smashing cans against your head in front of your bedroom mirror will still make you feel badass.

Again, we’re totally serious. Wear as much distressed denim and tight leather as you can. Go completely overboard! You can get gimp suits pretty cheap nowadays and nothing says rock star like a distressed denim jacket that’s literally been set on fire while you’re wearing it.

You should own every single Metallica, Black Sabbath, and Iron Maiden CD and Vinyl that has ever existed as well as download all of their albums on Spotify and iTunes, including all studio albums and live performances.

You should proceed then to smashing them all individually against your forehead. You should also have a whole room for merchandise and a shrine dedicated to Steven Tyler. Nickelback doesn’t count.

Rock stars are empty vessels fuelled by substance abuse and guitar solos.

Drink your body weight in Jack Daniels and smoke cigars like a train.

Never exercise and only eat steak whilst remaining emotionally detached from everything and everyone who doesn’t relate to your rock star lifestyle.

If it isn’t yours or isn’t valuable to you; smash it. Throw chairs, throw punches, and smash your guitar on the stage like a badass because you just know you’ll get another one for free. Go nuts and just obliterate everything in your path with your whisky fuelled rage, and don’t let no manager tell you you’re being ridiculous or out of control...

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It’s not uncommon for students to blow a huge amount of cash on going out. That’s what students do, and drinks aren’t getting any cheaper. SPG are here with savvy ways to keep you from drinking your money away...

PRE-DRINKS

Basically, we’re suggesting you drink before you go out drinking. Start your crazy night at home and you won’t spend so much money on drinks while you’re out. People who go out without pre-drinks spend on average six times more than those who start the party at home.

DON’t BE A BOOZE SNOB

Everything you drink doesn’t have to be the best of the best.

Supermarket own brand spirits are just as strong, and aren’t noticeably different in taste once mixed. You’ll be saving some serious cash if you switch to brands just a little cheaper.

CARBICIDE

Stock up on carbs before heading out so you won’t be tempted by that greasy midnight kebab on your way home. Takeaway food is expensive and your bank account won’t appreciate it, especially after the pounding it received at the club...

AVOID ROUNDS

You might want to be Mr. Nice Guy, but buying rounds will obviously cost you a bomb in any nightclub. However, don’t say no to a round if someone else is willing to pay for it... Take but never give, basically.

DITCH THE DEBIT CARD

Get some cash out and leave your card at home. Whatever cash you’ve got out is your spending limit for the night. It will help you drink and spend less! When you’ve run out of dough, you know it’s time to go.

OFF-PEAK PARTYING

The best things about being a student are the student nights and midweek parties. Friday and Saturday aren’t the only nights you can go out on and get wasted – the cheapest drinks and events are happening throughout the week. Why would you wait until the weekend, anyway?

ALTERNATE YOUR DRINKS

For every alcoholic drink, have a glass of tap water. Your liver will thank you and you won’t be waking up with a splitting headache and dry mouth. And the best part: tap water is free! So you can have fun, spend less, and wake up feeling fresh!

HOUSE PARTY

Some of the best drunken memories are created in the comfort of your own room. Invite your mates and ask them to bring their own drinks.

You’ll save a fortune and still have a damn good time.

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Regardless of how smooth you think you are, you’ll never be able to pull these off...

‘‘’’Is your mother a beaver? ‘Cos damn!‘‘ ‘‘It’‘s handy that I have my library card, because I’m totally checking you out...‘‘ ‘‘Did you just fart?

Because you blew me away!‘‘ ‘‘Are those space pants?

Because your ass is out of this world!‘‘ ‘‘Are you my appendix? Because I have a weird feeling in my stomach telling me to take you out.‘‘ ‘‘Damn I lost my teddy bear; can I sleep with you instead?‘‘ ‘‘Nice legs. What time do they open?‘‘ ‘‘Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?‘‘ ‘‘Do you have a map?

Because I’m getting lost in your eyes.‘‘ ‘‘Did you sit in sugar?

Because you’ve got a sweet ass!‘‘

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You’re a motivated student, eager to learn and become a high achiever!

A new academic year, a new place, new people, a new you...

It’s the second week and you’ve already skipped seven lectures and lost all your stationary, including the substantial amount of free pens you were given when you arrived.

You also have no idea what day it is and have lost all concept of time.

You can’t wait to cook for yourself!

You can eat what you want when you want. Finally, a chance to have a healthy well balanced diet...

You can’t remember the last time you ate a piece of fruit. What does an apple even taste like? You can’t remember. You tried to cook once, but managed to set fire to spaghetti.

How does that even happen?

Dollar dollar dollar! That student loan is going to be so sweet – so much cash you don’t know what to do with it all. So many designer clothes and access to the hottest clubs in town...

You’ve been eating nothing but ramen noodles for three weeks because you spent every penny to your name on vodka and other ridiculous shots. It wouldn’t be so bad if you could at least remember the night.

Party all night and all day!

University days and nights are going to be the best of your life. So much booze, good times, and lots of laughs! Bring it on.

Chaos and despair have taken over your life. Who knew being this hungover would hurt so much? You got drunk last night with the intention of having a good time, but spent most the night crying about how much work you keep putting off.

Free gym pass! It’s time to get your health in order by hitting the gym hard every morning and night. The future holds plentiful protein shakes and time spent flexing in front of the mirror...

You went to the gym once. It hurt so much that you have vivid nightmares about treadmills and weight lifting. You’ve never stepped foot in a gym since. You’re also on your fourth pot noodle of the day.

So many new people from all over the country! I can’t wait to find the love of my life and make loads of BFFs for life...

You haven’t left your room in four days and have binge watched three TV series. You don’t even know the name of the girl living next to you.

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IT’S THE START OF THE ACADEMIC YEAR, AND EVERYONE HAS A SEVERE CASE OF THE LURGY! TO KEEP YOU IN TIP-TOP HEALTH FOR THOSE LECTURES HERE ARE A FEW TIPS ON FIGHTING OFF FRESHERS’ FLU...

Slap it on your hands, clean every door knob you see, and even bathe in the stuff if you need to. The lovely new friends you’re making this Freshers’ week don’t just look dirty, they’re carrying every germ known to man, spreading them around the SU bar at a rate of knots. Killing 99% of all known germs, anti bac should be the one friend you make at Freshers’ - the best friend.

It might seem like harmless fun, but in your drunken stupor are you really going to take notice of whether that fit lad from two floors down has a runny nose or chesty cough? Probably not. So be safe and don’t get KO’d early by catching the lurgy.

There will always be next week and the rest of your uni years.

You probably thought your old dear was being over protective when she packed that huge bottle of multivitamins...

Nope! Take them, I promise you will thank her. (Personally, I recommend getting some Echinacea.)

Even if you’re sticking a few of them frozen veg packs in the microwave, make sure you get your full 5 a day. They’re packed with all the good stuff your body needs to keep your immune system’s defences up. I know they taste crap, but it’s better than missing out on the best week of university!

Telling you to leave the party early would probably fall on deaf ears, so at the very least, have some power naps throughout the day. If you don’t, then you’re going to peak far too early and miss out on all the fun, and it’s only going to weaken your immune system.

With a million things to do this week, Make sure one of them is registering with your local GP. If all of the above fails and you get struck down with the dreaded freshers’ flu, you aren’t going to want to fill out loads of forms with a banging headache, are you? Do it early and save yourself the hassle.

A lot of people need us at night................. ...................... .......................... .......................... ......................

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If the population of China walked past you in a single file line, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks, otherwise it will digest itself.

THE average American will spend 6 months of Thier life waiting at red lights.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

Elephants actually don’t have long term memories; they can only remember the past four days.

Any month which begins on a Sunday will have a Friday the 13th.

The platypus is the only mammal which lays eggs instead of giving birth to live young.

If you dug a hole through to the other side of the Earth, it would only take 42 minutes for you to fall through it.

Lady birds shoot acid from their knees.

The first couple to ever be shown in bed together on prime TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

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sides and desserts also available

Tomato sugo with garlic, oregano and evoo

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Tomato sugo with mozzarella, fresh basil and evoo

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Tomato sugo with capers, olives, anchovies, mozzarella, garlic and evoo

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Spianata spicy salami from Calabria with tomato sugo, mozzarella and evoo

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Prosciutto cotto (Italian cooked ham) with portobello mushrooms, tomato sugo, mozzarella and evoo

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Roasted red peppers with spinach, tomato sugo, mozzarella, ricotta and evoo

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Fresh Tuscan fennel sausage with friarielli (Neapolitan wild broccoli), mozzarella and evoo (no tomato)

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Mushroom, spinach, mozzarella, ricotta, oregano, garlic and evoo (no tomato)

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Grilled aubergine with tomato sugo, garlic and fresh Parmesan

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Why does caffeine have a bad reputation?

Everything in moderation, but there’s actually loads of useful benefits.

Hold that coffee up with pride - it’s your not so secret weapon for success!

Recently, Japanese researchers proved that a 200mg caffeine pill helped to boost memory performance. Get yourselves down to Holland and Barrett! It lasts up to 24 hours in your bloodstream; that’s why people recommend that you shouldn’t drink coffee in the evening.

Now, before you down loads of coffee, don’t. This will stop your own heart before it helps your hair grow! Try a caffeine based solution to rub into your scalp in the shower each morning.

Ever looked at someone and all of a sudden their eye lid starts to twitch? Yep, it’s awkward. Make sure this doesn’t happen to you by sipping your latte.

We’ve looked into the studies; we won’t bore you with the numbers, x, y and zs, but the conclusion is caffeine definitely boosts your reaction time.

Perfect to prepare for the Monday morning team meeting!

German experts conducted research which showed people who drank 3-4 cups of coffee per day gained less weight than those who didn’t drink any at all.

I’ll have a double espresso please!

Once you’re home it takes some strong willpower to get off the sofa and into the gym. However, adding caffeine to the situation will mean you’ll get there, get through it, burn more calories and feel muscle soreness less often. All it took was a cup of coffee.

Caffeine may reduce your risk of getting type two diabetes, Alzheimer’s, and dementia. That means happy days for later on in your life.

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You’ve had a late night watching your favourite box-set. You knew tomorrow would be a big day, but you did it anyway. Now you’ve got no choice but to get up painfully early and present yourself to the world. Unfortunately, sticking cocktail sticks in-between your eyelids just isn’t practical...

An all time classic for hiding tiredness, the bigger the better (although you will have to blow your cover indoors). This is often the look rocked by celebrities as they hop off their private jets after a long flight. It’s true, once you whack on a pair of sunglasses the world automatically becomes a brighter, happier place. Well, a darker, happier place at least. Give it a try, but be prepared for some strange looks on a rainy day.

Sorry guys, the girls have an advantage here I’m afraid.

Beauty products like shiny pink lip gloss take someone’s eyes away from yours and on to your lips. I guess if you get the colour right, foundation could work a treat to disguise baggy eyes. If you dare...

Once you’ve downed a couple of pints of water, unleash your secret weapon. Think of caffeine as your super boost to get you going, not keep you going. You don’t necessarily need lots either, just opt for the beverage with the highest proportion of coffee - this is an espresso or flat white.

Think about wearing bright and bold colours such as yellow or orange, and be sure to spend more time on your hair. If you’re a girl, go for a quick ponytail and straighten. This will give you an immediate face lift! For guys, blow dry, apply some product and comb. How do you think James Bond does it?

Change the way you’re thinking about your late night.

Don’t regret it, embrace it. First, a smile - then completely lie to yourself. You actually had plenty of sleep last night; it’s time to make the most of the day ahead of you.

After all, time is your most precious resource!

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ARIES

Typically the class clown, but loveable. Doesn’t take much seriously and acts like they haven’t a care in the world. But once they’re alone, they are quite dedicated and concerned for their work.

TAURUS

The student who is usually thinking about food and trying to sneak some during classes and lectures. They’re pretty stubborn, and don’t like to abide by the rules.

GEMINI

Usually turns up to lectures and classes in sweatpants looking like they just rolled out of bed, but somehow always pulls it off.

CANCER

The student who is great at multitasking; they look like they’re listening, when in reality are texting their significant other under their desk. They never even get caught.

LEO

Usually sat at the back of the class talking absolute rubbish with their best mates. They scrape their way through the term and then somehow get great grades at the end of the year.

VIRGO

The typical teacher’s pet, who has all of their notes colour coordinated and is probably way ahead on their work. They don’t like to rub it in though... They’re quietly confident.

LIBRA

Usually the socially awkward student who hated being picked on by the teacher or speaking in front of the class, but is the total opposite outside the classroom.

SCORPIO

Probably having banter with the teacher or flirting with the person they are sat with, but are actually motivated to get their work done.

SAGITTARIUS

The day dreamer who spends the entire lesson/lecture staring at the clock. They hate education with a passion and are only there because it’s the law.

CAPRICORN

The highly motivated worker who strives for greatness and success. Anyone who gets in the way of that will also know how much attitude a Capricorn has.

AQUARIUS

The student who pretends they are too cool to give a crap about their career path or education, but will have a private mental breakdown when they get one bad grade.

PISCES

The student who would share their answers with you because they were too nice to say no. They are sensitive and hate anyone who criticises their work.

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START

Welcome back to START, where we showcase a range of student art, from across the UK.

Martina Rocca - MA Material Futures Central Saint Martins UAL

Jessica Strawford - Fashion Manchester School of Art MMU

Holly Gooders - Textiles Bath Spa University

Pollyanna Shaw - Textiles Arts University Bournemouth

Zuzanna Andrysewicz - Textile Design - Fine Art Central Saint Martins UAL

START

in associatio n with:

If you would like to have your work showcased in the next edition, send your submission, along with your full name and place of study to: info@thestudentpocketguide.com. If the le size is larger than 1MB please use a third party le transfer service. Otherwise your email might not reach us!

Alan has been teaching this course for the last 20 years.

He wrote most of the course material and he’ll be damned if some young whippersnapper undergraduate is going to tell him something he doesn’t already know.

Often found teaching history – probably because he remembers most of it.

Reading his very, very boring book which was written in the 80s.

Reference something from the Internet.

It will scare and confuse him.

The polar opposite of Ancient Alan, Gina is at the cutting edge of academia. You won’t find her in the staff offices, but she will be tweeting her latest ideas, and WhatsApp is the weapon of choice for her seminar group.

Drama, film studies, media. Basically anything where you can pop on a DVD and call it a lecture.

Starting a blog about your academic experience.

Reference anything written before 2014.

A card carrying member of the Green Party, Laura knits her own organic yoghurt and rides a vintage bicycle.

Politics, gender studies, art history; anything where the essay title “Is quinoa an agent of the patriarchy?” would be an acceptable topic.

When asked a question, look her dead in the eye and say “I think people with my voice have been speaking for quite long enough.” Receive firsts for the whole term.

Say anything bad about Hugo Chavez.

The typical absent minded professor, brilliant and an expert in his field, but sadly can’t organise a piss-up in a brewery.

Sporting a jumper with holes in, this species is fairly common across both science and the humanities.

Wandering the corridor, desperately looking for the right room.

Gently reminding him what you were discussing last time/what your name is.

Ask him to turn up on time.

Pete is not technically a lecturer; he is actually a PHD student taking your seminar group. He will swing wildly between outrageous displays of power crazed lunacy and gibbering fear at actually speaking to people. Read the small print.

Nowhere in the prospectus did it say you were actually going to be taught by the world leading researchers.

They’ve got important stuff to do.

Could be anywhere, scarily.

Being impressed when he name drops his thesis topic.

Ask to transfer to a “proper” lecturer’s group.

2 November 2017 Telford International Centre

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Kieran Westlake AKA Westy started producing grime music in 2015 and has since launched Everyday Grime, a free platform for upcoming producers and artists.

Tr Tracks from the channel have been played on the likes of BBC Radio 1Xtra, Kiss FM and Rinse FM. We caught up with Kieran to talk about his journey so far, working with Jamal Edwards MBE and his future plans...

As well as founding Everyday Grime you also make your own beats. How often are you in the studio? Every single day! There really is no time for breaks but if I do, I make sure things are in order before doing so.

What inspires your music? There’s many different inspirations for me personally. I’m not just influenced by music artists but certain people and their characters. So, for example Jamal Edwards (the owner of SBTV) carries himself as a person very well.

I admire the way he pushes for his goals and gives other people the chance to succeed in theirs. People like this are a big inspiration to me in LIFE not just music.

Your music is getting played by some big names. What’s the most impressive thing you’ve achieved so far with Everyday Grime? Through the platform we’ve had music on our channel played by all types of artists

such as Eyez, Brotherhood, P Money and more! We’ve also had DJs from all over spinning tracks from the channel on stations including BBC 1Xtra, Rinse FM, Kiss FM, as well as being used on some of the biggest YouTube platforms about such as SBTV and P110.

Top 3 grime tracks right now?

Juxta - Paralell Dimension Alive - Broke Roads Mal - Gotta Get Thru

Has it been easy or not setting up your business? No, it hasn’t been easy but it’s definitely a whole lot easier now I’ve laid down the original foundations for the channel, such as the music contacts, and outlets. My productions career really helped me kick-start Everyday Grime and opened up options that would have been a lot harder if I didn’t create music myself or be involved with it.

Clearly this venture has started from a deep routed passion of yours. Where would you like to see yourself in a few years from now?

I would like to progress more in the music scene in terms of gaining new supporters, working with new artists as well as self improvement in my production skills. I also want to make Everyday Grime an even more solid platform based on producers, start a new series and expand the content focusing on clothing, and developing an app. We’ve recently had our website republished which you can check here: www.EverydayGrimeUK.com Can you tell us how you worked with Jamal Edwards? Sure, I worked with Jamal on an SBTV project involving myself and other artists where we made a tune and Cypher for the channel. We are also potentially collaborating on an SBTV project which involves Everyday Grime producers, but that’s currently on hold due to both of us being so busy, but hopefully when the time is right it will happen.

Grime music is dominating the world right now. Why in your opinion is that? I think it’s because it’s just a solid UK type of music that we can call our own. More and more people are starting to like it and hear it because certain artists are managing to push it out to new audiences. It’s definitely good to see, and it gives so many more people the opportunity to make something of themselves with their talent and vision.

I understand you got kicked out of college. If you could send a message to students finding it difficult at college/uni, for whatever reason, what would it be? I would just say keep working hard and don’t ever think you can’t make something of yourself without it! I’m saying you

DON’T need college, but everyone has their own paths and sometimes things may not go the way you wish. But if you’re fully focused and work hard on what you want to do there will always be a route. If you’re studying music of any kind, take advantage of being in a 24/7 music based environment because that’s definitely something that helped me whilst I was there.

Thanks for your time Westy! Thanks to SPG! Check out myself or Everyday Grime on Twitter: @IsDatYouYeah @EverydayGrimeUK and Youtube: Kieran Westlake, and EverydayGrimeUK.

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THE FLIRT

They’ll do anything (yes, anything) for a strawberry woowoo cocktail, courtesy of your bank account. Often these predators hunt in packs, sniffing out their nearest prey. They will ‘accidently bump into you’ then they’ll ask about what you do for a living and pretend to be interested. Before you know it *BAM* you’ve bought them a drink. It finishes brutally – they sneak off without even saying goodbye.

LADS! LADS! LADS!

These lads are always looking for a fight, buying in rounds of Stella and chanting football songs. Watch out for the ring leader doing most of the attention seeking - He’ll have spiky hair, be slightly on the larger side, and sporting a fake Ralph Lauren polo (in pink) he brought back from his holiday in Turkey.

THE SCAR

This lion king lookalike has probably been on five nights out in a row. One arm rested on the bar running their finger around the edge of their pint glass, giving an evil glare to anyone who looks like they’re having a good night.

MR HAPPY

They’re just off the dance floor trying to make friends with everyone they can possibly speak to. They place their arm over your shoulders, pretending they’re your BFF, five minutes into talking to them for the first time. Spatial awareness levels are at zero all night long.

BREAKDOWN

They’ve just split up with their partner and everything is the end of the world. Or they’re in floods of tears because they’ve lost their mate who has literally just popped to the loo for three minutes. *Avoid this person at all costs* make sure you’re the opposite side of the bar, because they tend to throw up a lot.

We know how you get over a hangover. Your hand reaches for anything greasy! Listen up though – there are some seriously good reasons why you should change from grease to green after one too many shots...

Churning stomach? The king of all antioxidants, ginger calms down the digestive system, blocking serotonin receptors in the stomach. Grab a large can of ginger ale, chop a good chunk into a stir fry and feel yourself again!

Too much beer leaves the body running far too low on vitamins and salt. Gherkins are rich in Vitamin A, iron and potassium. So, if you have to go to Mc-you-know-what, order extra gherkins!

Brave enough to take on the greenest leaf of them all?

Give your liver a helping hand and eat lots of spinach.

Each leaf is filled to the brim with Vitamin C and folic acid – these nutrients are very well known for telling your hangover to go away and come back another day!

Everyone should know that green tea is healthy by now.

This works a treat, especially if you just remembered something you regret from the night before – green tea will almost instantly calm you down. Slurping on this will mean a healthier liver, which will help you recover faster!

An electrolyte-boosting option, free of nasty ingredients that are found in fizzy drinks! In fact, a recent study confirmed that coconut water is just as good as a fizzy drink on a hangover. Enjoying this means you won’t get the taste of the vodka lemonade and lime from the night before either.

Eggs have a decent portion of protein; this helps to stabilize your wobbly blood sugar. Do your good deed for the day by purchasing organic pastured eggs – this means they come from hens raised on grass, rather than being unfairly rammed in a cage. This type of egg will certainly help boost your body with lots of B vitamins, drained from drinking alcohol.

We all understand that a student diet can be a scary thing, but that doesn’t excuse the use of these kitchen ‘must haves’.

The creators of these should be ashamed of themselves.

By Elliot Norman

EGG COOKER

Because someone thought that boiling an egg was too difficult. Students are infamous for simplifying meal time, but this is just ridiculous.

ELECTRIC CHEESE GRATER

Like many of the items on this list, the electric cheese grater aims to take laziness to the extreme. It seems a bit counter intuitive though, as the fact that it requires power and must be awkward to clean makes this more of a pain than a regular cheese grater.

BANANA SLICER

Not knowing how to use a knife seems to be a common theme among pointless kitchen appliances. Anyway, who the hell slices their bananas?

ROTISSERIE GRILL

At first, this may not seem completely stupid.

Think about it though: when would you use this?

An oven and a microwave are enough to get the job done, and even splashing out on a nice BBQ is fair play. A good quality rotisserie grill, though, is really going to cost you.

Unless of course you don’t mind the end result being worse than if you just stuck to using the oven.

PEPPER PREPPER Not only is this oddly specific, but it’s also totally pointless.

Do you really need a gadget for scooping out a pepper?

Again, so many of these products can be easily replaced by a knife. One word sums this all up perfectly: clutter.

QUESADILLA MAKER

This is so beautifully specific. Ever fancied whipping up a quick quesadilla? Now that you mention it... No.

DISCLAIMER: The SPG and Jack Shannon take absolutely no moral or legal responsibility for you blowing up your kitchen or travelling through time with the power of microwave radiation.

MAKE A PUDDING, JUST LIKE MUM’S! You can be a domestic goddess in the microwave.

Seriously, just imagine this. After tea, you nip into the kitchen. A bit or stirring, a ‘ping’ later. BAM! Amazing pudding!

Stick 4 oz marg/butter, 4oz of sugar, 4oz self-raising flour and two eggs in a bowl. If you have some baking powder, pop in a pinch - but no worries if not. It just makes it a little fluffier.

Mix it all up and then pop into a microwavable thingy.

Stick it on high for two minutes. Poke that bad-boy with a fork in the middle; if it comes out clean, it’s done. If not, stick it on for another 30 seconds and check again.

SPOTTED DICK

Add in a handful of sultanas/raisins.

CHOCOLATE PUDDING

Mix in some coco powder or hot chocolate.

JAM PUDDING

Pop a few spoons of strawberry jam in the bottom of the dish.

SYRUP PUDDING

Pop in a few spoons of golden syrup/honey.

CUSTARD PUDDING

Don’t cook it on the hob - that will just burn.

Get instant custard or get it from a tin.

HOW TO CLEAN YOUR MICROWAVE AFTER YOU’VE RUINED IT WITH TOO MANY PUDDINGS Okay, this is easy. Get a bowl with boiling water and the juice of a lemon. Microwave on high for a few mins ‘till the window is steamy. Then, wipe it down with a sponge.

Sorted! Even works with weird, burnt-on orange stuff!

Everyone has at least one weird little thing they do for no reason whatsoever. We’ve listed some of the classics. How many do you do?

Toilet roll has to go on the holder rolling from infront of you, top to bottom. The *right* way. Just to clarify, if you roll your toilet roll out from underneath the holder, you’re at risk of... well, nothing!

Making sure the volume is on an even number. Just to clarify, this is a life or death situation - no matter what you’re doing or where you are, the volume *must* be on an even number. Note: people who think like this do not appreciate being in the back of the car when the volume is on 7.

Anyone who actually touches the shiny underside of a DVD is Satan’s cousin. You’ll scratch it, you will! You probably won’t, but it gives you the shivers knowing that your favourite box-set could be ruined in a flash...

Shirts and clothes are always colour coordinated in the wardrobe because... it’s easy to put them on? Regardless, it looks pretty. Don’t fall into the trap of trying it, you’ll be stuck doing it for the rest of your life!

You hoard strange, pointless, almost valueless items such as train and cinema tickets, plastic bags and branded boxes. These items typically go in your ‘they’ll be useful one day’ draw, which is the spare draw you have no other use for.

Fridge layout and structure has to be precise and in order at all times.

Cans of drink top right, vegetables in the bottom and milk in the door.

You purchase a precise number of goods and no more, even though you have guests coming over.

Keeping broken things such as headphones that you’ll ‘get round to fixing soon’, socks that have holes in and coats with broken zips.

You could just purchase a new one, but that would be far too easy...

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HEY DYNAMO, THANKS FOR YOUR TIME TODAY, WHAT ARE YOU UP TO? Right now I’m working on a top secret project, which I can’t say too much about. I’ve got something I’m working on that’s coming out around Christmas time so keep your eyes peeled for that.

ARE YOU ABLE TO ELABORATE? A magician never reveals his secrets.

FROM STREET MAGIC IN BRADFORD TO HUGE ARENA TOURS! HOW HAVE YOUR CONTENT IDEAS CHANGED/ DEVELOPED OVER THE YEARS? I never imagined back then when I first started doing street magic in the school playground that I would ever go on stage. The last couple of years I’ve spent touring in Australia and obviously the UK and did so many shows often walking out in front of 10,000 people. For me, I never imagined I’d ever go on stage because I guess I had a little bit of stage fright. I realised after doing so many shows, that I wasn’t walking up there on my own in front of all these people, I was actually walking out there with them and sharing the experience together. For me, that’s what magic is all about. Connecting people in ways that they thought was impossible. I always say the magic only ever exists when the spectators are there in presence. So without you guys being involved and watching it then there is no magic.

AMAZING. I PRESUME THAT A LOT OF YOUR TRICKS ARE PARTIALLY IMPROVISED BECAUSE YOU CANNOT GUARANTEE HOW THE PUBLIC WILL RESPOND? Yeah, I think that’s what I love most about it. The unpredictability. No matter where I go or where I perform, no 2 people ever react exactly the same. You get some people running away screaming. Some people fainting. And that’s not just because of my good looks. You get all sorts of crazy reactions. That’s why I never tire of it and I just love performing.

DOES IT EVER MAKE YOU NERVOUS AS YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THE PUBLIC? OR DO YOU, BECAUSE OF YOUR SKILLS AND YOUR TALENT? I would say nerves, but I guess there’s a slight bit of anticipation.

Obviously, being a magician, I try and predict what’s going to happen next, but when I’m performing it’s those surprise reactions that really take me by surprise - you know, I like to be amazed as well. Because I’m performing the magic I kind of know the secrets. So I think there’s a little bit of nervousness, but it’s more excitement. Every time I go and perform, if it’s something new, it’s just a buzz for me to do it.

YOU’RE OFFICIALLY THE WORLD’S MOST FOLLOWED MAGICIAN, WITH OVER 8 MILLION FANS ACROSS SOCIAL MEDIA. THAT’S AN AMAZING ACHIEVEMENT! LOOKING BACK AT YOUR CAREER, WHAT HAS BEEN THE ONE MOST STAND OUT ACHIEVEMENT FOR YOU? I think actually doing the Seeing Is Believing tour, bringing what I used to do on a street to the stage. I got to a point in my career where I felt really bad for my audience and people watching the shows because although they will be able to watch me on TV, they didn’t really have the opportunity to see me on the streets performing corporate magic, which is what I love to do. Now when I walk the streets because of the success of the show it becomes a bit of a health issue. Too many people stop and it becomes like a big stage performance in the middle of Oxford Street, or whatever street I’m walking down. So I wanted to find a new way that I could share the magic with the audience that would allow everyone to come and watch it, and share it together without it being an issue. Finding a way to transition to the stage was probably one of my biggest achievements to date because, as I said earlier, I never really imagined I would have the courage to walk out in front of 10,000 people and perform. For me, that’s my biggest personal achievement and I think it’s good for magic in general. To be able to put magic, which a lot of people over the years have seen as a novelty act, in the same venue where the likes of Kanye West, Drake and P!nk and all these big superstars have performed. For me, as a magic lover, to go out there and represent magic is a massive achievement and hopefully it will keep magic in the back of people’s minds.

THAT’S AMAZING AND INSPIRATIONAL. OBVIOUSLY YOU’VE GOT A VERY POSITIVE OUTLOOK ON LIFE. WHO INSPIRES YOU PERSONALLY? My Nana. She always said to me “Steven, you’ve got a funny disposition you have”. I do always try to see the positives out of every situation.

That came from my Nana and Grandpa because they were the ones that raised me whilst my mum was at university and stuff like that when I was growing up. I think also the people I keep around me like some of my friends still from Bradford and London where I’ve lived for the last 15 years. Keeping good people around you means you’re always inspired and fortunately I’ve got some great friends.

YOU’VE PERFORMED MAGIC TRICKS TO A-LIST SUPER STARS INCLUDING WILL SMITH AND JAY Z. IS THERE ANYONE YOU’D LOVE TO PERFORM TO THAT YOU HAVEN’T YET? Eminem. He’s performing this weekend in London so hopefully I can work my magic!

BECAUSE OF WHO YOU ARE, ARE YOU LITERALLY ABLE TO GET IN TOUCH WITH THESE HUGE CELEBS AND ARRANGE MEETINGS? I do sometimes get a lot of acts from America and around the world that reach out to me to come and perform for them. Depending upon the certain level of an artist, you can put a message out to them but you’re not necessarily gonna get a response. I’ve got friends who are celebrities that I can speak to on a daily basis, and others that I’ve met at an event but I feel a bit strange giving them a call out of the blue, “So, how you doing Marshall”, do you know what I mean?

YEAH I UNDERSTAND. WHO’S THE MOST FAMOUS FRIEND OF YOURS? I guess I’d have to say Prince Charles. My business wouldn’t be where it is today without the help from the Prince’s Trust. It was Prince Charles that gave me a start up loan all them years ago which allowed me to buy a camcorder and a laptop and start adding content to YouTube. So yeah, Prince Charles really looked after me and was an inspiration as well.

WHAT’S THE BEST AND WORST THING ABOUT BEING FAMOUS? I guess that I get to do what I love and that’s how I make my living.

Because of the fame it means that people want to see what I do. As a magician that’s the ultimate dream. I remember when I first started I’d have to walk up to people and try to introduce myself and break the ice like “hey I’m Steven/Dynamo from Bradford, can I show you some magic?” And now, because of the success people come up to me and ask to see my magic so I guess that’s my favourite thing about being famous.

I wouldn’t say there is anything negative about being famous. I’ve spent 20 years of my life trying to get to this level of success so I don’t think it’s right to find fault in any of it now. I love what I do. I get to do amazing things. I get to travel the world performing magic and I get to meet so many amazing people.

BRILLIANT ANSWER! YOUR MAGIC TALENT HAS TAKEN YOU ALL OVER THE WORLD. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHERE WOULD YOU GO AND WHY? I would take the DeLorean from Back to the Future, I’d hit 88mph and I’d end up in the audience watching Houdini perform some of his chain escapes. He’s got stories that are legendry and it would be amazing to be there in the audience to see it for myself.

AMAZING! IF YOU HAD TO TRADE YOUR MAGIC TALENT FOR ANY SUPERHERO POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE AND WHY? Does it have to be a power? Can it be like a costume? Because I really like Iron Man. You know, the actual suit. I wanna make sure it’s got all the bells and whistles on it so I can shoot those beams from my arm like Tony Stark.

CAN YOU TELL US A FUNNY STORY ABOUT YOURSELF? When I was on the tour, we were going to all these big arenas. I’d get to the venue and I’d be there an hour or so before the show starts and we decided to put on costumes so I could go out and walk amongst the people queuing up to come and see the show. I’d go up and chat to them and try and film it, you know hidden camera style to get some funny content for Instagram. One time I went out and had this massive moustache - I looked proper cool. I’m actually thinking of growing a moustache in real life because I think it’s definitely a good look. But with the costume I was wearing, people would just see my eyes and somehow know that it’s me. These costumes did not work whatsoever. People were following me around like I was the Pied Piper. Me and costumes don’t work that well. I think next time I’ll wear contact lenses and do a full prosthetic for 3 hours before the show and give myself enough time to get changed out if it to do the show, that way they’ll never recognise me.

PERFECT PLAN! THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME. No - thank you!

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Super Mario World; the main menu theme alone is enough to deliver gamers growing up in the early 90s with an instant hit of nostalgia. Released on November 21st 1990 for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System, this was the instalment in the series which many fans believe to have nailed the 2D Mario formula. But almost 30 years later, can modern gamers jump in and have a good time?

Super Mario World fits right in with newer 2D platformers and that’s partially due to its visual design. It’s simply fantastic. There’s a really cartoonish feeling to everything - with bold, vibrant colours dominating the scenery. Mario and the enemies really pop against the backgrounds and the solid frame rate adds to the visual flow, helping you pull off some precisely timed moves. This game is bursting with character: from the cute sprites, to the humorous way enemies flatten when you stomp on their head.

Topping it all off is the superb sound design. There’s something so pleasing about jumping on enemies in this game and that’s thanks to the ‘bop’ sound effect accompanying your jumps. Each stage in Super Mario World does not get its own unique musical track; the game instead features one track for each type of stage. This does a good job of letting a player know what to expect in terms of level design, and the repetition somehow doesn’t get annoying. That’s down to how well crafted the tracks are; they create a nice sense of atmosphere and really sell the themes of the areas you’re exploring. A great example of this (as well as being a charming little touch), is the comically slow and muffled version of the intro theme which plays when you enter an underwater stage.

Control is one of the most important aspects of any game, and luckily for Mario, it’s smooth and precise. His speed and agility are balanced perfectly resulting in a feeling of total control while navigating the various enemies and obstacles. Players can quickly change direction with the D-pad, and get some air with the jump button. These base controls are the core of Mario gameplay, but some nifty little touches are sprinkled in too - like being able throw Koopa shells to knock out rows of enemies at a time. Pulling off a big combo just makes you feel cool.

Power-ups serve as a way to add to Mario’s skill set as well as allowing him to take an extra hit from enemies before dying. These elements, along with Yoshi – who provides Mario with a fast means of travel – add heaps of variety, keeping the gameplay from ever getting stale.

It’s definitely an easy game to get into so if you’re one of the three people who aren’t familiar with the Italian plumber, this would be a great place to get your feet wet. In fact, you won’t likely be tearing your hair out after playing this one. While some platformers provide entertainment in the form of the sheer euphoria you experience at the moment you manage to clear that near impossible stage, Super Mario World’s enjoyment comes in the form of blazing through stages without a great degree of difficulty. It’s refreshing to see, and a relaxing way to kill time. While new players will be satisfied with progressing through the main stages, completionists will enjoy hunting down the many alternate stage endings which take you to secret new areas to explore. This is often followed by the reward of some helpful goodies such as power-ups and extra lives. There are a total of 96 stage exits to be found, and doing so grants you a special reward (as well as extra nerd-cred), so dig in.

Before you go ahead and buy the next annual Fifa or Call of Duty release - give this classic a chance! Super Mario World has aged beautifully since its release almost 30 years ago; you’ll have a hard time finding a better platformer.

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Call 020 3869 4252 or visit directmobiles.co.uk/student 24 month minimum term. Subject to credit check. Monthly charges assume online billing & Direct Debit payment. Use your allowance to call/text UK mobiles and landlines starting 01, 02 and 03 when in UK or EU/EEA; to call/text mobiles and landlines when roaming in EU/EAA (outside UK); Jersey, Guernsey & Isle of Man treated as EU/EEA. Out of allowance calls to these numbers cost 50p/min. Data allowance can be used in UK & EU/EEA. Data fair use policy may apply in EU/EEA. See www.ee.co.uk/terms for countries and details. Deposits needed for roaming in limited circumstances. General: Calls to 084, 087, 09 & 118 numbers are not included; you’ll be charged EE’s Access Charge of 50p/min plus the applicable service charge. See EE Price Guide for a detailed list of service charges. If you call a 070 you’ll be charged up to 75p/min. See ee.co.uk for our Price Guide& more info on charges outside of your allowance. Personal use only. Upfront costs may apply. Products shown for illustration purpose only and may differ in make/model and or colour.

Online gaming is awesome, but sometimes that magic touch is just lost over the Internet. This is especially relevant to the co-op genre. Why not treat your flatmates to the SPG’s favourite couch co-op games?

By Elliot Norman

Arguably the best co-op game of all time (not to mention the best zombie game), Left 4 Dead is a shining example of how that genuine, ‘in person experience’ can trump online gaming. Your aim as a survivor is really quite simple: Get from point A to point B, and don’t get killed by zombies. You’ll find plenty of helpful weapons and supplies along your way, like machine guns, first aid kits, and pipe bombs, which attract every zombie in the area before exploding in a glorious red mist. You and your allies will have to work well as a team if you want any chance of survival. Stick together, keep your wits about you, and watch out for the special infected. Your ability to do this will determine your fate. Grab a friend, and be prepared to go half deaf from all of the shouting this game will inevitably cause – in a good way!

Looking for a two player experience where communication is key? This is the game to check out.

The bulk of Conviction’s co-op mode revolves around another simple concept: Eliminate every enemy in the environment without being detected. The stealth based gameplay is what keeps this challenge interesting. Upon detecting you, enemies will alert their allies of your presence, will likely call for backup, and will certainly open fire. This is pretty much a death sentence on the hardest difficulty, making coordination even more vital here. Typical gameplay involves you and your partner manoeuvring around, taking out enemies simultaneously.

This bonkers 2D platformer supports up to 4 players locally and guarantees a great time. It utilises a touchstone gaming formula: run through stages, jump on enemies, and collect hidden goodies.

Think New Super Mario Bros, but more chaotic.

The stages are delightfully vibrant, and the music excellently conveys the game’s mad tone. You’ll be faced with a mix of high paced platforming challenges and ridiculous boss battles. It also treats you to plenty of refreshing gameplay varieties. They even throw in some rhythm based platforming stages, which you can’t help but smile at while playing. Crushing enemies to the beat of Eye of the Tiger tends to have that effect on people. It’s available on PC, Xbox 360 and One, PS3, 4 and Vita, Wii U, and is coming soon on the Nintendo Switch.

We are living in a new age of boardgames.

Forget Cluedo, Monopoly and all that boring stuff your parents made you play. These games don’t suck, and they’re here to stay.

Fluxx.

You draw a card, you play a card. Those are the rules.

Wait, what? That’s not a game… except it is, and it’s great.

Each new card you draw adds in a brand new rule, so what starts out as quite easy will become massively tricky.

Extra flavours include Monty Python, Pirate and Zombie style FLuxx. It’s easy to play, and a massive laugh. looneylabs.com/games/fluxx

Cards Against Humanity.

The tagline “A party game for horrible people” is a nice summary. This game will ask one very deep question: how dark are you prepared for your humour to become to win a board game? Each round, one of you (The Card Tzar) will ask a question written on a black card. You each answer anonymously with a statement on a white card, and the funniest answer earns a point. The first player to ten points wins. There’s even blank cards for you to write your own in-jokes on, along with expansion decks which keep the game fresh! cardsagainsthumanity.com

Cash N’ Guns.

You are criminals after a bank job, splitting up the loot.

The only snag is, you’re all quite keen on getting as much money as possible, and you have a foam gun and some bullets to back it up! Mexican stand-offs, bluffing and diving for cover are the order of the day. Imagine poker, but with easier rules, and foam guns. Don’t forget the foam guns. asmodee.us/en/games/cash-n-guns

Lucha Dice.

Described by the manufacturer as “The Fast-Rolling, HardHitting, Body-Slamming, Neck-Crunching, Chair-Smashing, Table-Slapping dice game for 2 or 4 players”, Lucha dice is a great laugh. The best thing is the little cardboard ring which you get with it. I challenge any human being not to love this.

You won’t be able to help but trash talk your opponents while kissing your biceps. backspindlegames.com/luchador-mexican-wrestling-dice

presents

What is TRIBE all about?

TRIBE is a new feature on the SPG website where you can register for free and complete simple tasks to earn points and win prizes. Select which category/prize you’d like to play for and watch your points rack up as you complete tasks (unlocking achievements along the way to play for higher value prizes)! Keep an eye on the leaderboard for your position in the league leade and keep unlocking those achievements until you reach TRIBE Chief, allowing you to play for the highest value competitions.

Earning Points

On you’ve selected the prize you’d like to Once win, be sure to check out the ‘Earn Points’ tab.

The number of points you can earn depends speciically on the task you complete. TRIBE also rewards additional points to its more active users, further increasing their chances of winning, so don’t forget to come back daily to earn ea the daily bonus points!

Play for high value prizes now!

For a limited time only, all TRIBE members can compete for the highest value prizes! Usually, the highest value competitions are reserved for members who have unlocked the relevant achievements.

We’ve already given away £300 worth of travel money, headphones worth £150 signed by world famous DJ YvesV, festival tickets and more!

So what are you waiting for, head on over to our website, register to TRIBE for free and start earning points to win some amazing prizes!

@TribeComps

TribeComps.co.uk

Remember when you were little and your mum would drag you to one of her friend’s houses with the overly optimistic promise that there would be another little boy/girl your own age to play with?

Student housing officials take a similar view, pairing you up with a complete stranger in the vague hope you’ll get along.

But don’t worry, the SPG is here.

1. GO TO THE STUPID FRESHERS’ THINGS.

Yeah, okay, the Cowboy night looks naff. You probably won’t cherish the memory of the on campus night club covered in cardboard cacti and a hastily scrawled “SALOON” sign above the bar for years to come. Or the £15 you spent on a plastic gun and cowboy hat. But shared experiences are a laugh, even if you just get a fun story about how naff it was!

2. SO A MAN WALKS INTO A BAR...

What’s a ten ton polar bear? I don’t know, but it breaks the ice! Get everyone to tell their best joke. Don’t know any? Steal mine (which to be fair, I stole too). Two elephants and a snake fall off a cliff!

BA-DUM-DUM-TISS...

3. EAT TOGETHER

Sharing a meal is a great way to get the conversation going and get to know each other. Have everyone cook dinner one night. You can get to know each other, try something new and hey, it means you only have to cook once this week! Just make sure you agree on who does the washing up...

4. KEEP YOUR DOOR OPEN

An open door is nine hundred billion percent more welcoming than a closed one. Unless you just really love faux pine. If so, good for you.

Obviously, keep it closed if you’re in the buff. But if you’re just hanging around, have the door open! People might want to come in for a chat, watch some rubbish on YouTube together, or if you’re lucky, share a beer...

5. GO OUT FOR A FEW

The old time classic. Go to the pub! There are very few situations which can’t be improved with a couple of bevvies. You’ve got a subsidised bar on campus. You’re young, free and full of student loan. Naturally the SPG can’t endorse excessive drinking. And we absolutely can’t tell you that you’ll probably like your housemates a lot more after a few pints.

Remember all that tat which you should have remembered to bring to university but forgot to? Don’t worry, SPG has your back.

Laptop, phone charger, iPhone Dock, reading light they all need to be plugged in.

You can never have enough of them.

Corkscrew, bottle opener, tweezers; this baby has it all.

It’s hard to have beans on toast without one!

See above!

Great little gadget for the kitchen. A lean mean fat reducing grilling machine!

The doctor you were registered with before uni, your national insurance number, online banking stuff - all of those really important numbers that you never use until you actually really need them.

You’ll thank me in the morning after a big night out.

Strip lighting in halls are horrible. Get a reading light.

Or just do your business in the Student Union.

Both are good options.

T: 0131 228 2442 E: info@cityhealthclinic.com

www.cityhealthclinic.com

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University is the best place in the world... except when it’s not.

It’s the best time of your life... except when it isn’t.

You will have friends and you will never be lonely... except when you are.

The SPG is a fun online magazine.

We are not experts in listening and helping people.

But these guys are.

By Jack Shannon

THE CALM ZONE

www.thecalmzone.net The CALM Zone is The Campaign against Living Miserably, which focuses specifically on mental health and depression amongst young men across the UK. CALM challenges a lot of the stigma surrounding mental health, and is one of the organisations who really “get” the problems young people are having.

TURN 2 ME

www.turn2me.org Turn 2 Me is a site where you can get online help and support with mental health issues from other people going through the same things.

It’s online, so it’s nice and convenient, with a lot of useful resources.

SAMARITANS

www.samaritans.org The top dog of all help lines. Samaritans is a confidential listening service, which means anything you say is strictly between you and them. You can email, call, or even if you are suddenly allergic to technology like that guy from Better Call Saul, write to them. Remember, it’s not just for people feeling suicidal. It’s a great listening service for anyone, at any time.

MIND

www.mind.org.uk Mind is one of the very best resources for mental health in the UK. If you don’t want to talk to someone, and you just need some more info, Mind is a great place to start.

CAMPUS RESOURCES

ACADEMIC - If you’re having problems with your course, your first port of call should be your academic advisor. They have heard whatever problem you are having at least a few times before.

HALLS - You might have to push to get things done, but remember they are paid to do this!

MISC - Your campus GP or your student advice service (probably somewhere in the union building in an old store cupboard) are basically your go-to for anything you need help wise. They do this for a living.

They will not judge you, no matter how wrecked you seem.

Tackling social anxiety can feel like an uphill battle that slopes ever downwards, but it doesn’t have to be! SPG have come up with simple yet effective ways to help put your anxious thoughts to bed.

PRACTISE DEEP BREATHING

Practising deep breathing exercises before an anxiety inducing event can slow your heart rate and keep your brain from over thinking. Try taking a long slow breath through your nose and filling your lungs, holding it for three seconds, and then slowly letting it out through your mouth. Make sure you relax all your muscles as you do so.

SEEK OUT SOCIAL SITUATIONS

The longer we avoid something, the harder it becomes to face it. It is easier said than done, but encouraging yourself to face it gradually makes it easier over time. We avoid what scares us and end up being scared of what we avoid. It’s a vicious cycle which needs to be broken!

TAKE IN YOUR SURROUNDINGS If you’re anxious, you’ll want to focus on your feelings instead of the situation which is actually giving you anxiety. Look at what is around you; focus on colours, decor, and anything else which distracts you from how you’re feeling. If you’re not thinking about being anxious, you can’t be anxious!

GET TALKING

Instead of worrying about the worst case scenario, make an effort to ask questions and show an interest in the people around you. It’s another great way to distract yourself from your thoughts and focus on the situation at hand. You might find you’re a lot better at socialising than you initially thought!

BE RATIONAL

Know that even the worst case scenario isn’t really going to cause you any harm. Know that keeping calm is key and that panic attacks or anything like that can’t really hurt you. And most of all, remember that there is always someone who feels exactly the same as you do.

By Jack Shannon

Nothing is more important than a good night’s sleep.

At the risk of sounding like your mum, sleep is very important at your age!

You need enough energy to be able to learn and understand new concepts in lectures and seminars. That can only come from sleep.

Nothing will make getting to sleep harder than an old and lumpy mattress.

If you’re in halls or rented accommodation, don’t be afraid to kick off to the accommodation manager or your landlord if your mattress isn’t up to scratch. Flip and rotate your mattress every few months to stop it from getting too lumpy on either side.

The light emitted by your mobile, TV or tablet is playing havoc with your brain. “Oh gee, light. Guess it’s time to wake up now!” Playing on your phone might seem like a nice way to relax, but it will stop you from properly resting your eyes by keeping your mind overly active.

Gentle exercise such as yoga or a light walk will help to ease you into a good night’s sleep. Don’t go for a full on Rocky training montage as you’ll be too pumped to sleep.

Rosemary and lavender can help you to relax. Essential oils such as Ylang Ylang or Sandalwood can actually aid your body into sleep.

Anxiety or stress can stop you from getting the sleep you need. Write a to-do list before your head hits the pillow and rest easy!

If you have any serious worries - use the NHS website or see your GP. www.nhs.uk/LiveWell/sleep/Pages/sleep-home.aspx

Hailing from Rotterdam, the Netherlands, Ferry Corsten is known to be one of the greatest legends of trance. His illustrious career started with his passion for music which began as a hobby. Now it’s spiralled into a full-blown profession, creating electronic dance music of all genres - not just trance - but electro and progressivehouse. We caught up with Corsten and spoke about his latest sci-fi themed album ‘Blueprint’ and his fascination with space, which has been a driving factor in his career since 1999.

HI FERRY! HOW’S 2017 BEEN TREATING YOU SO FAR?

It’s been really good! The first few months of the year were really busy with finishing up my album ‘Blueprint’ which is out now. I felt like I was in my own little bubble for 24 hours a day. In the mean time, I have been doing shows around the world. We’ve also reached 500 episodes of Corsten’s Countdown, it’s just been great.

YOU’VE RECENTLY RELEASED YOUR LATEST ALBUM, BLUEPRINT! WHY DID YOU DECIDE TO RELEASE AN ALBUM WITH A SCI-FI CONCEPT BEHIND IT?

It’s been something that I’ve wanted to do for a long time, at least something that was just more than a collection of tracks on an album.

I’ve spent a long time dreaming, in a way. Today’s way of listening for most people is through Spotify and other music streaming services.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Spotify, but the attitude that comes with it is like ‘okay, I don’t like this song so skip’. I feel like so much has been lost. There are so many great artists and musicians out there who are focussing on stuff which they feel the people just want to hear. They’re so talented that all of their talent has just been put to the side and wasted.

For me, I tried to do something completely different, instead of bringing out an album which people don’t have any patience for listening to. So instead of music only, they follow the story, so it kind of grabs them in to listening the whole way through. I wanted to do this as it’s a bit more memorable for most people later on.

COMBINING YOUR LOVE OF STORYTELLING, YOUR PASSION FOR SCIENCE FICTION AND YOUR LIFELONG BOND WITH MUSIC – ARE YOU HAPPY TO HAVE AN ALBUM THAT REPRESENTS ALL OF THEM?

I’m really happy with the way it’s come about. I went through moments where I thought ‘am I doing the right thing or am I wasting my time here?’ – it’s really like a constant battle with yourself. When I met David Miller, the story writer, I knew when he came up with the first draft that I had something really cool. For me to go and sit down with song writers, lyric writers and for myself in the studio and with the instrumental tracks as well, it gave me good direction in a way of where this album was heading. It came out with narrations and everything. I’m really happy.

Photo Credit: Dorota Mi

WHEN DID YOUR FASCINATION WITH ALIENS BEGIN?

It’s not just aliens; it’s everything to do with space like space travel, what else is out there, are we alone - and I’ve had it ever since I was little. I’ve just always wondered what else is out there. I look up and I think to myself ‘this can’t be it’. It goes very deep and it’s actually quite creepy to think about. My fascination has been like a driving factor in me making music ever since late 1999 and the early 2000s. When I was making music back then, it was always based on the moon or space, or just anything outside normal life.

DID THIS FASCINATION INSPIRE YOU WITH YOUR BLUEPRINT ALBUM?

It wasn’t necessarily space which was the main thing. Like I say, I wanted to do this story and when I met up with David Miller, we decided to give the album a sci-fi twist. With this idea, it just all of a sudden gave it that unknown factor and made it a bit more interesting. Some deeper thoughts are in there, like the explanation of what else is there beyond what we know. That was basically how the whole idea came about; it just happened the way it did.

THERE’S BEEN TALK OF PEOPLE COLONISING MARS AND SENDING UP TEST GROUPS TO SEE IF THIS WOULD WORK, WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO SPACE AND WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN BEING INVOLVED IN SUCH A PROJECT? Would I want to go to space? For sure. Would I want to go to the moon?

For sure. Would I like to go to Mars? Yeah, but they can’t really guarantee you’re coming back. I have a lot going on here like my family, kids and everything. I wouldn’t want to risk it (laughs). I wouldn’t mind a trip to outside of the atmosphere to see what happens there.

YOU WORKED WITH SCREENWRITER DAVID MILLER AND ACTOR CAMPBELL SCOTT FOR THE NARRATION. WHAT WAS IT LIKE WORKING WITH SUCH BIG PLAYERS IN THEIR INDUSTRY? WERE THEY THE ULTIMATE PROFESSIONALS FOR YOUR PROJECT? Everything went really smooth and that’s definitely one sign of being professional. On the other hand, I can only imagine that a bigger level of professionalism comes out when things don’t run smoothly. David Miller happened to be a friend of my manager in the US. When I told my manager about my plans about the story, he called me back a couple of days after that and said ‘I met an old friend of mine, my old school buddy’, and it happened to be David. So one day we met each other in a restaurant and my manager threw my idea at him. He was very interested and gave a very positive response. I was actually in LA for a studio session. David and I met up and there was just an instant click, because we shared the same interests in so many things.

So yeah, from there it went really smoothly!

I’m really open to criticism, it’s very often meant as a thing to make stuff better, and I think that really defines the level of professionalism in a way when you can tell someone ‘that’s not really what I was looking for, but here’s my idea’. When you can have that sort of conversation, I think it’s great and that was really easy with David. I was going through a lot of voices for the narration. I ran in to Campbell’s voice and thought it was the one straight away; it was deep, calm and it just worked perfectly.

HOW DID WORKING WITH A STORYBOARD DIFFER TO WRITING AN ALBUM WITH A BLANK CANVAS? There’s two ways of looking at it. At first I thought ‘is this going to limit me’, as you don’t have anything; you just start writing with people or you’re in the studio. It’s almost like you try a million ideas and see what sticks. The thing with this is that there’s an instant guideline straight away when you have a story. The story sort of directs you through the whole flow of the tracks. The tracks convey the emotion that’s in the story at that moment. When the story stops, a lyric will take over and the lyrics should be about what the story is about, but not too direct.

You don’t want to sing about the story, that’s really silly (laughs). When you have a vocal track, you want to be able to strip away the story and still have the track stand on its own. Personally, I really liked having the direction of the story as all those little things made it more interesting.

YOU’RE CURRENTLY TOURING THE ALBUM – WHAT ELEMENTS OF THE ALBUM AND CONCEPT HAVE YOU BROUGHT TO THE LIVE SHOW?

Some stuff, yeah! Every track actually has its own artwork. We teamed up with this artist from the States called Oskar; his work is amazing. He started working on the artwork specifically for the album, based on the songs and the storyboard. It came together really nicely in terms of the visual side of it. We have been able to use those visuals for the live show.

The whole theme of the album is what you’ll see in the live show. There’s a little bit of narration there but it’s just at the beginning. I thought it may be cool to carry on with the story throughout the live show, but at the same time I’m still a DJ wanting to have a good night of music. I didn’t really want to hear that voice all of the time, so I decided to have it just at the beginning. Definitely most of the tracks are in the show.

YOU’RE KNOWN AS ONE OF THE GREATEST LEGENDS OF TRANCE! HOW DID YOUR MUSIC CAREER FIRST PROPERLY KICK OFF?

I’ve been doing this for a really long time. My real breakthrough in terms of having very successful records was actually in 1999. I released a track called ‘Out Of The Blue’ which did so well throughout the world, especially in the UK and Japan. Within no time after that release, I was all over the UK, and since the UK was such a big market which the world was looking at around that time, I was just constantly touring. I’m so glad I changed from being a studio boy to all over the world. The scene in the UK is honest and so real.

WHAT SHALL WE EXPECT FROM YOU IN THE NEXT YEAR?

I’m going to be focussing on the roll out for Blueprint with all the singles, remixes and edits. I’m going to take a breather for a little while (laughs).

I can’t wait for the next journey.

Vodka shots; they burn like hell but provide a damn good time!

Plain old vodka can get pretty boring and start to taste like crap...

Don’t worry, SPG have found some ways to spice up your vodka shots.

(In some cases, literally...)

3/4 Cup of Nutella | 1/2 Cup of Sugar | 1 1/4 Cup of Whipped Cream | 2 Cups of Vodka | Strawberries Add the Nutella, sugar and vodka into a shaker, and shake!

Pour into shot glasses, put a squirt of whipped cream on the top, and garnish with the strawberries! Sounds like a mini milkshake.

2/3 Part Sambuca | 1 Splash of Hot Sauce | 2/3 Part Tequila Add sambuca into a chilled shot glass. Float hot sauce and tequila. There’s a reason this is called a flatliner; better have an ambulance on speed-dial!

2 cups of Flaming Hot Cheetos | 1 cup of Silver Tequila | 1 lime Fill a container with Flaming Hot Cheetos, pour in tequila, and fill to the top. Refrigerate for at least 3 hours, strain out Cheetos, and serve with a lime wedge. (Tiny oil bits may remain in the tequila after infusion. You can keep as-is, or store the tequila in the freezer - the bits will solidify and you can easily strain them!)

1 ounce of Jagermeister | 1/2 ounce of Peppermint Schnapps 1/2 ounce of Goldschlager | 1/2 ounce of Malibu Pour jagermeister into a triple shot glass. Add peppermint schnapps, goldshlager, and malibu rum respectively. Not really sure why this is called Motor Oil though... Can you work it out?

1 1/2 ounce of vodka | 1 1/2 ounce of Triple Sec 1 1/2 ounce of Blue Curacao Lime juice Mix them all together and serve as a shot! Seems easy, and it looks really cool at a house party.

K N O W

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J e r e m y

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S y l v e s t e r

Genres: Deep House, Garage, 90s Retro and Bassline Grooves DJ/Producer.

Background: Jeremy broke into the music industry through his father who had been on the music scene for years. In the early 90s, his dad owned a studio and at every opportunity Jeremy would use it. With the help of the producers, Jeremy learned by constantly watching their every move.

Inspiration: He was inspired by anything and everything – especially 90s electronic music which had a massive innuence on his sound. ele Plans for this year: Recapturing the early 2 step sound, Jeremy has teamed up with garage/bass producer Rude Jude. Together they produced some brand new top quality tracks set to be released this year! As a duo they called themselves SWERVE; Jeremy is also collaborating with legendary Timmy Vegas, carving the best deep house/garage tracks geared towards mainstream with an underground appeal. Keep your eyes open for his new album release!

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S e c o n d c i t y

Genres: House and Techno Background: Rowan moved to Chicago at the age of 1 and once he returned back to the UK, house music became his obsession. At 13, he got his rst pair of turntables using his mum’s CD collection and whatever she had from her days of doing aerobics. By the age of 22, Rowan started making his own tracks which have made the top of the charts.

Inspiration: Many people inspired Rowan including Livin’ Joy, Phil Humphreys and Masters at Work, who Rowan dreams of making a groovy track with.

Plans for this year: Over this last year, it’s been all out about releasing new material. He teamed up with Makree to release a disco house track called ‘Never Been In Love’. But it doesn’t end there; keep your eyes peeled for Secondcity’s EP with Max Chapman!

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M o l l i e

C o l l i n s

Genres: Drum & Bass DJ and Producer.

Background: It all started when she used to work in a nightclub, doing promotions and lighting for the DJs every weekend! Mollie then realised instead of assisting DJs, she wanted to be in their position after watching them play for hours on end! Drum and bass has always been her number 1 genre, and deenitely always will be.

Inspiration: Not just drum and bass, but DJs from different genres inspired Mollie to do what she loves now! Big guys like Andy C, Mampi Swift and Jaguar Skills are some of her all time favourite artists. Going out hearing them play urged her to get on the decks!

Plans for this year: 2017 has been mad for Molly already! As far as festivals it doesn’t really stop; NassFestival, Electron Festival, CT Festival, Mutiny Festival, Innovation In The Sun, Dreambeach, Kendal Calling, Summer Gathering, Hospitality Hospitali In The Park as well as shows all over the UK and Europe. Don’t miss her tracks coming out on Charge Recordings!

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P r e d i t a h

Genres: Garage, Grime and Dance DJ/Producer.

Background: Ever since the age of 14, Preditah was producing and making beats. But back in 2005 where it pretty much began, he started DJing in local clubs around Birmingham when the sound of bassline was quite big. However, Preditah’s proper breakthrough was in 2011 when JME started vocalising his beats and working with him.

Inspiration: Growing up on RnB and reggae were Preditah’s biggest innuences before he began producing. But the sound of garage and 2-step music really got him into making beats.

Plans for this year: Over the past 2 or 3 years, DJing around the world has taken over his life. He hopes to release at least 3 Blank Canvas EPs, pushing the grime and garage sound even further. Keep an eye out for new music.

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Krafty Kuts, also known as Martin Reeves, is renowned for being the King of Breaks and is a multi-award winning DJ/Producer. His multi-genre sets and his skills on the decks have earned him hierarchy status in every genre of electronic music from breakbeat, and drum and bass, to hiphop, and electro. Now taking a step back down the hip-hop route, we caught up with the King talking all things Krafty.

HI MARTIN! WHAT’S HAPPENING IN THE WORLD OF KRAFTY KUTS AT THE MOMENT?

Hello! At the moment I’m focussing on making really good DJ sets to work with because often enough I’m playing different sets around the globe. Sometimes I’m with Dynamite, so I have to play a set accordingly meaning there are no vocals in my tracks. He can then sing and rap over them and do his thing to hype the crowd. Also, I’m doing some shows with Chali 2na from Jurassic 5, so I’ve got to change completely and put together a hip-hop set. Krafty Kuts is kind of dabbling with all flavours, genres and styles from hip-hop to breaks and all in-between. It’s making it more interesting and my music is just becoming more broadened all the time. It makes it exciting as there are never any dull moments; I’m always in the studio. I’ve just moved house, so I’m in-between being in the studio and touring. I’ve got to maintain a healthy balance at home.

It’s very difficult but it’s so rewarding. It’s good to sometimes take a moment out of my job, so when I go back into my job, I really appreciate it. I’m quite lucky really.

YOU’RE KNOWN FOR BEING THE KING OF BREAKS AND THE LIVING LEGEND OF ELECTRONIC MUSIC... WOW! WHEN DID YOUR CAREER AS KRAFTY KUTS BEGIN? TELL US ABOUT YOUR JOURNEY FROM THE BEGINNING.

It’s been very interesting. I basically bought a load of records from a car boot sale about 20 years ago. I had thousands, I filled up a whole room in a flat that we had. I then set up a record shop with these records as I had to get rid of them. I was using them to trade to get the records I wanted and I was just stuck with all of them at home. I found an old record shop and the owner was moving to Brighton, so I bought it off him and filled it up with my records. I really got into buying and selling records. I then bought another record shop in Brighton and that was where everything happened; I met Fatboy Slim, I started writing music and all of these people who came into my shop heard my music. I gave a track to Fatboy Slim and he put it out. Ministry of Sound got hold of it and asked if I had any more music. I then put tracks out on their label and started writing compilation albums like ‘Back to Mine’ with DMC, and then Krafty Kuts was born. I travelled all four corners of the world and I think that helped build the platform for Krafty Kuts. I did all the building naturally from just travelling around the globe to places like Indonesia, New Zealand and Canada. I’ve done about 50 countries. That kind of built my reputation up as a DJ.

I set my own nights up in the late 90s when I had my record shop in Brighton. I set a night up called ‘Supercharged’ with my business partner Skool of Thought. We used to do it every week for like 12 years. We also set a record label up called ‘Against The Grain’ and we put out a lot of breakbeat music on it. It did really well actually, we put records out from Noisia, Pendulum and just loads of artists. That was a really good time and really helped build Krafty Kuts as an artist. It really gave me an insight of what it’s like to be DJ, a promoter and to run a record label.

Those were the humble beginnings of Krafty Kuts.

IS IT TRUE YOU ACCIDENTALLY SAWED YOUR FINGERS OFF ON A NIGHT SHIFT ONCE?

I did! You’re actually the first person to ever ask that in an interview.

That’s where I got the money from to buy all of those records. I got compensation and I bought all of those records with it, thousands and thousands. I turned a negative into a positive. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to DJ again with the tops of my fingers missing on my left hand, but in the end I got used to it. I used to be into DMC so I entered all of the competitions, but it was difficult for me to do it as I couldn’t be ambidextrous – a lot of the DJs were ambidextrous. I taught myself again with lots more practice and learnt how to DJ a different way. When everything was eventually healed, I carried on as normal really.

AFTER YOUR ACCIDENT, IT BECAME INSTANT VIBES AND HAPPY VIBES! CAN YOU TELL US THE STORY BEHIND EACH LABEL? WHY TWO LABELS?

Happy Vibes Records was the record shop and Instant Vibes is my record label which I run with Finger Lickin’ Management, Abel. I got to a period where we shut Against The Grain down and I was releasing records and remixes on all different types of labels and I thought, ‘You know what, I need to go back to basics again and start a record label up so I can release my own music’. I just thought to myself, ‘What could I call it?’ and it was the name of my first record shop, Instant Vibes. I thought Instant Vibes was a really cool name anyway because when you hear a record and you like it, it’s instant and the vibes are there. That’s what I’m all about and Instant Vibes just worked. We’ve released some really cool tunes from Dirtyphonics, The Freestylers, Skope and so many more cool artists. The label has done really well but it’s still got a long way to go.

It’s been challenging because of my travels, moving house and starting a family etc. It’s just hard running a label, making it profitable and to put time, effort and money in when I’m doing all of these other things. So Instant Vibes is still building and we’re nowhere near where we want it to be.

YOU MUST BE VERY BUSY WITH EVERYTHING GOING ON. HOW DO YOU MANAGE IT ALL?

I actually thought about that this morning when I was leaving the house.

To be honest, I don’t really know how I juggle. I’m getting better at juggling things but it’s all to do with time management. If you can manage your time efficiently, and you do all the things you say you’re going to do, you can be really successful. I’m not the best at that unfortunately and I always tell myself ‘I’m going to do this, I’m going to do that’, but I never achieve most of the things I want to do in a day. If you look at the most successful people in the world like Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise, people like that look amazing for their age, and they never slip up; you never see them looking bad. They do their job to the best ability and they promote themselves really well. People who make an effort, who are strong minded and really positive, they seem to be the really successful ones. I think it’s all about dedication and mind over matter; if you think you can do something, you’ll be able to do it. You need to have a real strong positive outlook on life, so the things you do can be carried through. It’s really important you stay focussed, doing the things you want to do, because if you do it that way, eventually you will be successful.

YOU’VE RECENTLY BROUGHT OUT A NEW ALBUM WITH DYNAMITE MC WHICH IS CALLED ‘ALL 4 CORNERS’. WICKED ALBUM! HOW LONG DID THAT TAKE TO PUT TOGETHER SEEING AS THERE’S LOADS OF COLLABORATIONS ON THERE?

This album took about a year. I have been working with Dynamite for a long time now – we just sat there talking and we just thought ‘let’s just write an album together’. At that time, we were in the studio and were really vibing on what we were doing. There were some really good moments and magic happening. We started collaborating with Chali 2na and Foreign Beggars; it was just great. We knew we were going to take this somewhere. Then we thought about a name for the album. I suggested ‘All 4 Corners’ because we’re always travelling the globe, and Dynamite loved it. The album artwork is great and it’s so cool how both of us have been blended together. He’s a different skin colour to me but it just looks great. He and I have such a good friendship; we’ve travelled the world together and we’ve had some of the most incredible shows which you just wouldn’t believe. We’ve met some of the biggest artists in the world, and played in-front of 40,000 people on numerous occasions.

We’ve performed alongside the Rolling Stones, Fatboy Slim and Carl Cox. We were just doing everything which we never believed we could actually do. I had so much respect for Dynamite when I used to watch him MC. When we’re together we create a different vibe – something unique, something which only Krafty Kuts and Dynamite can do. I think people really enjoy that. The album encompasses everything which is all about our vibe from hip-hop, to reggae, to ska and to a really nice collection of styles of music.

HOW MUCH INVOLVEMENT DO YOU HAVE WITH SUPERCHARGED EVENTS?

We sold it off as a business a while ago to a girl called Sarah Cole who went to work for Ram Records, Hospital Records and UKF. She’s a very successful business woman with a very creative mind! She was the right person to run it. There’s still an involvement in the fact that I DJ at Supercharged events sometimes, but I haven’t got any working involvement. She’s really great at what she does and we’re really happy she’s taken the mantle on and taken it further, because we didn’t have the time and resources for it. Obviously my business partner moved to Australia, and we’re happy Supercharged has been taken on by someone YOU RECENTLY SAID THAT YOU THINK YOU’VE FINALLY COME UP WITH YOUR BEST WORK YET! WHY’S THAT?

With practice and understanding of what it is you’re doing as you go along your journey, you take information from each moment you’ve had.

I’ve always been a person who feels they can do better. I feel like my next job is always going to be even better. Whatever it is, it’s my mission to make it better. I’ve produced some really good music; my first album ever was ‘Tricka Technology’ with A.Skillz, which was a really cool album and was more of a hip-hop kind of funky vibe. Then I did ‘Freakshow’ which was my first album on Against The Grain. I was really proud of that. This ‘All 4 Corners’ is like my grown up album, as I didn’t need to be influenced by the forms of music at a time when they were happening. The music happened naturally without being forced into making a particular sound.

This is Krafty Kuts music; its real music, from my heart and soul. The music is really organic and has catchy rhythms, good hooks and vocals, and songs which you can sing along to in the car on the way to work. It can be listened to at any time of the day – now that’s a real album. There’s 1 or 2 records on there which you feel really connect with you when you get up in the morning.

YOU PRODUCE BASS, BREAKBEAT, FUNK, HIP-HOP, DRUM AND BASS AND ELECTRO. MULTI-GENRE

That’s a really difficult question because each genre has different meanings and different emotions to them. Hip-Hop is kind of like my first love, and ‘Ain’t My Fault’ is such a great record for me. I love that. It’s really hard for me to put a finger on what actually is my favourite style of Krafty Kuts. I think to be honest; it’s got to be all of them. They all work together to make one.

WHO WERE YOUR MAIN INSPIRATIONS?

There’s quite a few. Obviously from a soul and funk background, people like James Brown and the early works of Kool & The Gang. Their early 70s stuff was definitely an influence on me. Then when we got into the early rounds of hip-hop; people like Egyptian Lover, Gang Starr, Main Source and Pete Rock. Probably my biggest influence as a performing artist has got to be Fatboy Slim. In his early days he was brilliant; he reacted with the crowd and has played to some of the biggest audiences any DJ has ever done – like 200,000 people on the beach, he’s just insane! He’s written some brilliant music, he’s a fantastic guy and just an inspiration to everyone. He played all sorts of styles as well, and inspired me to play all those forms of music. I’ve kept it going whereas he’s moved into more of the house scene. He’s definitely a big inspiration to me and someone who I look up to. He’s done some amazing things which I can only dream of, to be honest.

WHAT’S NEXT FOR KRAFTY KUTS? YOU’VE JUST RELEASED YOUR ALBUM – IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU’RE LOOKING FORWARD TO?

I’ve got loads of other music I’m going to release and some other projects I’m working on. I’ve got a series of podcasts which have done really well with millions of plays on ITunes and other formats. I’ve done these Golden Era podcasts where I talk about the Golden Era of a specific genre of music.

The 2 hip-hop ones I’ve done have had 2.5 million plays on ITunes which were both number 1 on the ITunes chart. From an artist like myself, I’ve never really had any major top 40 success, so my podcasts being number 1 was a big surprise for me. I’m working on a project with Chali 2na at the moment and we’re writing some really good music together. There are some brilliant collaborations too – I’m kind of going back to my roots of hip-hop and just basically getting stuck into touring and doing lots of big shows that are coming up this summer. I’m also doing shows with Pretty Lights in America and a show for Elon Musk. So yeah, lots of interesting things ahead for Krafty Kuts. There’s never a dull moment in my life.

Shaving; certainly not our favourite chore when it comes to looking after our bodies. But don’t worry, we’ve got a few tips to make shaving more bearable...

shave during or after a shower

Hot water and steam will open up your pores and make your skin baby soft, ready for shaving! Dry skin while shaving puts you at risk of nicks, cuts, and a rash. Plus it’s also a great timesaver.

exfoliate

Exfoliating your skin before shaving allows a closer shave, further preventing nicks and cuts! It also removes all of that dead skin...

replace your razor

Replacing your razor every ten shaves means you won’t be using a rusty old blade against your skin! A rusty, over-used razor will harbour all kinds of bacteria, and can increase your risk of infection should you end up accidentally cutting yourself with it.

swipe and rinse

It’s probably a lot of effort, but rinsing your blade after each glide across the skin will wash away dead skin, hair, and other debris before applying it back on the skin. It means a closer, cleaner shave!

dont use soaps

Using soap or fragrances as a substitute for shaving cream will only dry out and irritate your skin, potentially causing ingrown hairs.

dont shave too often

It can be especially tempting if you have dark hair, but shaving as soon as it becomes stubbly will severely irritate your skin and cause ingrown hairs. So let it grow as long as you can bear it.

shave in the right direction

You need to know whether you should be going against or with the grain. If you’re shaving your face – go with the grain.

Anywhere else? It’s usually against!

Transportation as a student doesn’t come easy or cheap. Learning to drive, running a car, bus and taxi fares are just a few reasons students’ pockets have holes burned through them. Don’t worry, SPG have got some savvy ways to make getting about more affordable!

GET THE BIKE OUT Remember that strange two-wheeled contraption in the shed? That’s your bicycle. If you live in a large town or city, but not everything is quite within walking distance, then a bike is a cheap and quick alternative to splashing out for a taxi which will only get stuck in traffic. Plus a bike ride has never been bad for anyone!

CAR SHARE Any student knows full well how expensive running even a small car can be. Get close with your room/flat mate and work out a way you can share a car! Insurance can be cheaper between you and the price of fuel will be halved, especially if you go everywhere with each other anyway...

TAKE CARE OF YOUR CAR Checking up on your car and getting anything odd looking/sounding checked out is the key to spending less on maintenance. It’s cheaper to get something fixed when it’s still just a small issue, rather than having to replace the whole car just because you didn’t get something checked beforehand.

BUY IN ADVANCE Any train or bus tickets should be bought way in advance, online, where you can take advantage of all the discounts and sweet deals. Plus there are loads of student deals online on transportation!

PUBLIC TRANSPORT Depending on your destination, public transport can save you money.

If you’re heading on a long cross country journey you may be tempted to take the train, but a bus will save you a lot of cash. It might take a little longer and isn’t quite as exciting as a train, but if you want to save your money, this is the way to go!

GET A DECENT JOB BEFORE THEY ALL GO It can be really tempting to leave the job hunt until you get yourself settled at university, but by then all the decent, well paid jobs have gone to the 2nd years and you’re stuck chiselling chewing gum off of cinema seats on a Saturday night for minimum wage. Get yourself in there before it’s too late!

SORT YOUR BUDGET OUT ASAP

When your student loan comes in, it’ll probably be the most money you’ve ever had in your account at once. But you’re about to learn a tough lesson on being an adult when it disappears quicker than candy floss in a puddle. You need to set yourself a budget as soon as you know what money you have going in and going out, and stick to it. Make sure all your important payments are paid off first and then you’ll know exactly how much cash you have left to play with.

BECOME A MYSTERY SHOPPER

There are people out there who will actually pay you to go shopping...

I know, crazy - isn’t it? Some will even pay for your meals out at restaurants just for feedback on your experience. Some may ask you to cause a small scene in a popular clothing store to see how staff react, so if you’re a good actor then it’s probably the job for you!

START CHRISTMAS SHOPPING EARLY

I know it sounds extreme to start your Christmas shopping as soon as Freshers’ week is over, but believe me, it will be so much less stressful.

You could probably have done with starting it in February, but October will do. Future you will thank the present you very much!

WALK - SKIP THAT SLEIGH RIDE

Transport in any form is expensive on a student budget, so use what your mother gave you and walk everywhere! Walk to lectures, walk to the shops, walk to your mates, and walk home after nights out... just not on your own, because that would be silly.

VOUCHER CODES & STUDENT DEALS

Before you buy or do anything, make sure to check if there is a discount you can use. The best part about being a student is cheaper everything!

Check out our Deals page at: www.thestudentpocketguide.com/deals

Founder and Editor in Chief: Ben Farrin Content Manager: Chris Reeve Feature Editors: Chloe Gascoigne, Alysha Allen Digital Marketing & Subscriptions: Elliot Norman Graphic Design: Make North Contributors: Heather Drinkwater, Jack Viant, Jack Shannon, Kieran Westlake, Lucy Drinkwater Sales Director: Brendan McVeigh

Advertising Enquiries: 01603 727768 Email: info@thestudentpocketguide.com

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