Student Pocket Guide - North East - Freshers 2018

FRESHERS 2018 NORTH EAST #40

GORILLAZ THE KOOKS JOE WICKS CHRIS RAMSEY EMMA BLACKERY STUDENT DISCOUNTS :: FRESHER TIPS :: FUNNY CHAT UP LINES HANGOVER FOOD :: RECIPES :: STUDENT JOBS AND MORE...

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E D I T O R ’ S

L E T T E R

Writing this Editor's Letter gives me great satisfaction, because for the past six months here at SPG, we've been working at out to bring you the most jam-packed magazine of the academic year. When I say jam-packed, I mean it's full, rammed, loaded, bursting, stuffed and crammed with content to make your student life easier this term.

From beginning to end, this Freshers issue is overrowing with student discounts to help save you money, and thrown into the mix are tips, advice, advi recipes, drinking games, reviews and exclusive interviews with globally recognised acts...

Cover feature Lily Allen talks about her new book, album, and gives advice for people wanting to crack the music industry. Comedian Chris Ramsey rants about taxi drivers and Donald Trump. The Kooks tell us their most rock 'n' roll story. Joe Wicks reveals his best tips for eating healthier and working out. We get up close and personal with Emma Blackery, and ctional character Noodle tells us about the crazy adventures of Gorillaz, which have spanned across 20 years!

Read on for study, meditation and mindfulness tips. We talk about mental health, sex, cheesy chat-up lines, and offer valuable advice on how to boss your CV for the ultimate job!

We've had fun putting together this issue of SPG, and hope you enjoy it. If there's a speciic topic you'd like us to cover in the next edition, why not send us a message on socials? Perhaps you'd like to join the team as a contributor? Not only will you see your work published, you'll also be in with a chance to feature as contributor of the month on the homepage of our website. We're only one message away.

Ben Farrin Founder and Group MD

GORILLAZ

THE KOOKS

JOE WICKS

CHRIS RAMSEY

EMMA BLACKERY

HOW TO BOSS YOUR CV

HANGOVER FOODS

JOURNALISM OPPORTUNITIES

MENTAL HEALTH

All Rights Reserved © Pocket Media Group Ltd 2018. The entire contents of this publication are protected by copyright. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form. The publishers do not accept responsibility for any of the views or opinions expressed in this guide, errors or omissions which may have occurred, or accept liability for any services or facilities featured. Whilst every effort is made to ensure that all information is correct, changes may and can occur.

Human interaction isn’t my strongest skill.

If you want someone to crochet a slightly weird hat or maybe look after your dog, I’m your woman!

But I can’t be the only one who’s slightly shaky when it comes to talking to people who don’t have tails.

So, I put together this handy guide.

Follow it, and you’ll be socialising with other real life human beings in no time!

It sounds stupid, but the trick to building healthy relationships is understanding what a proper friendship is.

A friend is someone who you enjoy spending time with, who enjoys spending time with you.

Only speaks to you when they want something, but never has the time to help you out.

Constantly puts you down. Banter is fine, but avoid people who make you feel like crap. You don’t need them in your life.

Only wants to spend time with you in the hope of a shag.

Sorry lads, but women don’t owe you sexy-time in exchange for being nice to them. Live with it.

Remember, you are worthwhile. Never ever feel like you should put up with any kind of toxic relationship just because you’re ‘lucky they want to spend time with you at all’. You’re better off with no friends than with rubbish ones.

Well, the bad news is that you’re all alone at uni. You’re miles away from all of the mates you made in college, who you used to sit on a bench drinking supermarket own brand value lager with until 3am, before watching Family Guy episodes all night until class the next day. (Just me? No? Ok…) The good news, however, is that everyone else is in the same boat.

Ok, the boat might be sinking and there are pirates everywhere, but at least you’re in the same boat.

So how does that help exactly? Well, it means that you know there are other people who want to make friends as well.

Joining a student society is the best way of meeting other people who are into the same stuff that you are. I’ve met some of my very best friends through Anime. You instantly have something to talk about and straight away there are things going on you can join in with and be sociable. I know it can be exhausting being around people a lot, but really make the effort. Go to the parties and the pub crawls and before you know it, you’ll be one of the regulars. Keep your door open. Not when you’re out, obviously.

If you’re sitting around in halls, doing nothing, an open door is 100% friendlier than a closed one. You don’t know who else lives there.

Your new ‘BFF’ could be just around the corner.

Don’t be afraid to have it closed if you need some space, but there is something to be said about having the doors open, smiling at passers-by and striking up a conversation.

Learn from me: “Hi, how’s it going?” is a good way to start.

“Do you think you could eat your own foot if you really tried?” is not.

The other potential pool of friends is people on your course.

After a lecture or seminar, see who wants to go to the pub.

You’ll have something to talk about, and it’s a great way of building a support network for revision and studies.

Oh, and friends. You could also be friends.

Here’s the craic: you can’t expect anyone to love you if you don’t love yourself. Before you can be the type of person who has loads of friends and is super popular and all that jazz, you need to be the type of person who likes them self.

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not.

I once faked an interest in Laurel and Hardy for a year to try and impress a fit bloke who ran the Black and White Film society. (Graham, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry.)

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In France, you can legally marry someone who is dead.

Anatidaephobia is the fear that somewhere, a duck or goose is watching you.

A chicken named Mike lived for 18 months after being beheaded.

Blowing air up an armadillo’s butt will cause it to leap three feet into the air!

The hardest object to flush down a toilet is a ping-pong ball.

An apple in the morning is more effective at waking you up than a cup of coffee.

In Samoa, it is illegal to forget your wife’s birthday (yikes)!

Since the early 90s, more people have been killed by sandcastles than shark attacks.

Custard powder is highly explosive, causing massive risks in factories.

Pigeons remember the faces of people who abused them for the rest of their life.

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A Fresh Day

10...ish

Woke up to the sound of birdsong. And by “birdsong” I mean Keith-with-the-piercings heavy metal from next door. Went for a shower. Weird green thing was in the shower along with a note: PLS DON’T TOUCH WEIRD GREEN THING, KEITH. Decided against a shower and went back to room. Kind of annoyed about the pile of clothes on floor. At home, when I leave clothes on the floor they come back washed and smelling of lavender. Prodded laundry basket. Must be something wrong with it. Memo: Amazon Prime myself a new one later.

Breakfast: Cornflakes. Went to fridge for milk. Bottle was empty.

Note attached: NEEDED MILK TO FEED WEIRD GREEN THING IN SHOWER, SOZ, KEITH. Memo: Have a word with Keith.

11.30

First lecture: Introduction to Symbolic Logic.

It’s that professor with the moustache again.

Drew a great picture of a doggo.

Really proud of it.

120 minutes well spent.

13.30

Lunch at the pub.

Met up with Claire and Richard.

You remember Richard? The one whose parents own the alpaca farm. Anyway, £2.50 a pint, so not too bad!

14.30

Second lecture: Themes in Enlightenment Thought. Doggo looked lonely so I drew him a friend. Thinking of all the adventures they will get up to. Bark! Bark!

15.30

Soc meet on campus. Couldn’t remember if today was Italian Cookery or Interpretive Dance, so I dressed for both.

16.30

Turned out it was neither, and the room was double booked. Still, I had a great time learning to crochet a pair of gloves in Mandarin.

17.30

Got back to halls with a couple of hours to kill before going out later. Naturally, wanted a cup of tea. Keith still hadn’t replaced the milk. Looked at Sarah’s milk the posh, vegan organic almond stuff. Took a tiny bit of it. We’d only been here for a few weeks, but it was already getting a little bit Lord Of The Flies for my liking.

17.45

Did a bit of reading. Instagrammed a picture of the book so that everyone could see how hard I was working. #learning #uni #coursereading #themoreyouknow #metapyshics #dynamo (Nothing to do with Dynamo, I’m just a really big fan.)

18.30

Tea (or dinner, or supper; depends on who I ask). Anyway, I was hungry.

Wasn’t much food in, just some dregs from a couple of pasta bags. Claire had a jar of sauce in the cupboard and Keith had a block of cheese. Then we had a brainwave! We ordered in a Pizza.

19.30

Pizza arrived. Over dinner, brought up the weird green thing with Keith. He broke down in tears; apparently the cleaner “killed” it earlier. Patted him on the back and said “there, there,” a bit. Awkward.

20.00

Going out time! Theme for the club night was “Superheroes”. Left it too late to get a new costume, so I went in my nurse outfit. If anyone asked, I was the brave men and women of the NHS. Hoped to win points for originality in the costume contest.

02.00

Got back home, knackered. Needed a shower before bed.

New note attached to the shower read: GROWING NEW GREEN THING. PLZ PROTECT FROM CLEANER, KEITH.

02.05

Went to bed.

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Comedian, actor and all-round TV regular Chris Ramsey has embarked on another great year filled with success, such as his show broadcast on Comedy Central ‘The Chris Ramsey Show’ and latest tour ‘The Just Happy To Get Out Of The House Tour’. We found out his most embarrassing moment, why Chris dropped out of uni, and what’s in store for his future…

For those who don’t know Chris Ramsey yet, how would you describe yourself?

Stand-up comedian. Storyteller.

Father to a toddler. Husband to a wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.

If you hadn’t have found your place in the comedy world, what would you be doing now?

If I’d settled I’d probably be working

in a call centre. If I’d followed another dream I’d probably be a vet. If I’d failed at that, I’d probably be a zoo keeper.

If you had to rant about anything right now what would it be?

Taxi drivers who SLAM the break on every single time for no reason at all.

Do they want me to be sick all over their car? Because that’s how you make me sick all over your car mate.

Who makes you laugh the most?

My son at the moment. He’s two and a half... it’s like having a little drunk mate with you all the time. But he never gets tired and rarely wants to fight you.

What’s been your favourite gig?

Newcastle Arena last year. It was unreal.

Opinions on Donald Trump?

Possibly the worst human being to ever walk the face of the earth... if not the worst, easily in the top five.

Who inspires you?

Life, really. My family, my wife, my mates... and now and then I remember someone who was a pr*ck at school and try harder, because I know it’s probably p*ssing them off seeing me on TV. How was your experience at uni?

Short. And a bit cr*p really. I didn’t move away, which I always regretted. And then I packed in half way through my final year to do stand-up, so it was largely pointless! But I wouldn’t change any of it. If I’d have gone away to uni, I might have never started comedy...

Could have done without that nine grand debt though, to be fair.

What’s been your most embarrassing moment?

Take your pick. I have a new one every day. I’m constantly giving myself new material based around how much of a bell end I can be in real life. I’m still banned from Soccer AM... that was pretty horrifying.

(YouTube it.)

If you could choose to collaborate with anyone, who would it be?

JJ Abrams. And I don’t even want to really work with him... I mean, he’s amazing, but I just want to be a stormtrooper in the next Star Wars!

I’d do unspeakable, depraved things to make that happen.

How was the feedback from ‘The Chris Ramsey show’?

It was overwhelmingly positive; I’m actually shocked by it. I have not received a single negative tweet about it, which - trust me, when you have half a million followers - is so rare!

People loved it, the team I worked with are amazing and the guests all left saying how much fun they had.

It’s been a dream.

Any advice for aspiring comedians?

Go for it. Don’t be surprised when you have to travel and make f*ck all money at first. But if you want it, you’ve got to put in the work. There are no shortcuts.

Where do you plan on being in 5 years time?

Still touring. Still working hard.

Hopefully still doing my show... or other shows. Or more shows.

Who knows. But I’ll still be doing stand-up, this is it now; I’ve got no transferable job skills mate!

Ultimate life goal?

Meet Billy Connolly.

What are your plans for the rest of 2018?

Since The Chris Ramsey Show has finished I’ve just been touring. That’s basically it for the rest of 2018!

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Listening to music whilst studying is an incredibly common habit.

For many it can be soothing or motivating, putting you in the right frame of mind to work, whilst also helping to distract from the fact that studying is often a boring and tedious affair.

With that being said, there are many ways listening to music can also act as a hinderance. Here are a few suggestions for music which can prevent distractions, while expanding your musical horizons in the process.

One of the main issues with listening to music whilst studying is vocals.

Whether consciously or not, one of the senses (your hearing) is focused on processing the song lyrics, while another sense (your sight) is trying to read. This is where it’s easy to get wires crossed and lose focus.

All of the music included in this list combats this problem, starting with a relatively new genre: Lofi. Standing for “Low Fidelity�, it basically consists of slow, chill hip-hop instrumentals. Apart from the occasional quote from a film or TV show, these songs are mostly lyricless, and on YouTube there are a number of live streaming channels that play lofi music 24/7 and are dedicated to helping people study.

This is clearly a very broad term, but it opens up a number of avenues for variety and experimentation in your studying. There are of course lyrics and vocals in music from other countries, but as the language is foreign your ears aren’t struggling to process it, and so it doesn’t have the same distracting effect. This means that there are a plethora of options to choose from, a multitude of genres and styles, tempos and tones from around the world. Japanese funk, Brazilian soul, Swedish folk, Armenian hip-hop. Whatever floats your boat. This is a great way to discover music you would otherwise never stumble across.

The Mozart Effect – the idea that, basically, listening to Mozart makes you smarter – isn’t the most concrete of studies.

But it’s definitely worth a shot for studying, right? Another lyricless type of music, classical can be many things – soothing, inspiring, haunting, and moving. It’s music which taps into the deepest and most personal aspects of the human psyche.

For some, this is a bit much for a spot of light revision on a Sunday afternoon. But for others, it can help them to create their best work.

You’re not tied down to just Wolfgang, though. Handel, Beethoven, Bach – any of the classical boys will get your brain ticking.

For some people it can help to listen to fast-paced, up-tempo tracks, giving you that momentum to work speedily. Many genres of electronic music – drum and bass, garage, jungle, techno – operate in higher bpms than other forms of music.

Whilst it may not be the most relaxing atmosphere to work in, it can help get your brain in gear when dealing with numbers and maths-based studies.

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Hugh Harris, lead guitarist of British national treasure The Kooks, on their comeback and new music...

Hi Hugh; thanks so much for taking the time to speak to us!

What did you all get up to on your hiatus after the tour and release of your albums ‘Listen’ and ‘Hello, what’s your name’?

I went to Lakshman Jhula at the foothills of the Himalayas to live in an ashram. It’s important to keep the inside healthy as well as the outside, especially in this job.

What’s life been like in the public eye for the last 14+ years?

It has been very interesting. We had a grass roots climb from hard work and touring, which then became an explosion. Our boat was rocked a few times from this explosion and nearly sank, but right now is steady. I wouldn’t say the public eye has ever been something we have chased, luckily – we prefer the public ear. >>

How would you say The Kooks’ sound and band dynamics have changed during this time?

We are always improving our sound and method of delivery. Although after going off-piste with ‘Listen’, I feel we are now able to define and stick to our strengths. This is what we’ve done with ‘Let’s Go Sunshine’.

It’s a little less experimental, but much more ‘Kooksey’.

Have you ever had difficulty finding your own sound whilst under pressure from labels and fans?

We’ve always found it difficult to find our own sound under pressure from ourselves! We don’t exclude genres or styles, so our umbrella is vast – and that can be hard sometimes for people to understand. Kooks fans are subjected to a ridiculously broad collage of sketches, but that’s what makes it fun.

Can you tell us a bit about the meaning and inspiration behind your latest album ‘Let’s Go Sunshine’?

It’s a return to form so to speak (or format, at least). We are honed in on our strengths and the one thing we love doing.

There was no room for flab. It’s all concentrated, structured motifs which deliver and echo what we set out to do in the beginnings of the band.

What would you say are the best bits from ‘Let’s Go Sunshine’?

For me it’s the freedom of woven guitar melodies which I really enjoyed making.

What would you say has been your biggest achievement to date? Do you have any ultimate life goals you are yet to achieve?

Biggest achievement to date is having a daughter and being a good parent. I don’t have any ultimate life goals, but I want to one day learn another skill with my hands like kilim rug weaving or sculpting; something artistic which involves a skilled process. >>

What is your most rock ‘n’ roll story from your time as a band?

Aside from all the clichés (of which no stone was left unturned), the most rock and roll moment has been supporting the Rolling Stones.

We passed Ronnie Wood’s dressing room where ‘Street Fighting Man’ was blasting out and said, “Listening to the stones, are we?” He replied, “I’m still tryin’a learn dis shit maaan!”

Legend.

What has been your most embarrassing moment?

I’d like to think I don’t easily embarrass, but I once jumped head first into a bush on a stag do. The bush was made of prickly brambles and for the rest of the trip I had to remain static, which provided the suited appellation ‘robo-lad’.

When you start the writing process for an album like ‘Let’s Go Sunshine’, do you have an agenda on the music you want to produce, or just go with the flow?

With LGS there was a conscious movement between the band and our team to aim for something more

direct, which speaks strongly to our fan base and the intrinsic traits of the band. It was about drilling to the core of our band and harvesting its essence, and not getting sidetracked too much by our natural tendencies to experiment.

What are the band’s plans for the rest of this year?

We want to start putting music out more regularly, as a 60s pop band would. Discard the album format altogether, it’s dead.

Do you have any plans for other projects in the near future?

Oh, lots and lots. There are four incredibly creative souls in the band who all need their air time! I’ve just finished a solo album which’s taken me from Havana to Melbourne and back to London again recording horns and strings and choirs.

Coming soon

Classic and contemporary all under one roof

Today’s Grainger Market is light, bright and has 110 quality traders. Alongside craft stalls, mini bazaars, jewellers and plant stalls, you can find high quality butchers, artisan bakers, greengrocers, and award winning street food traders, coffee shops and cafes.

On Saturdays there are monthly art and craft, vintage and specialist art markets held inside the event space. So whether you’re foodie or fashion conscious, a browser or a buyer the Grainger Market offers fresh and local, eats and seats, history and culture Monday to Saturday.

Phone: 0191 211 5542 Email: markets@newcastle.gov.uk www.newcastle.gov.uk/graingermarket @Nclmarkets @GraingerMarketNewcastle

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A CV is basically a chat up line; it’s what gets your foot in the door and gets you into the interview chair.

Here’s how to boss your CV.

It may sound old fashioned, but please, please, please check your CV for spelling mistakes and grammatical errors. Make sure it’s also properly formatted and laid out to look professional. If you can’t be bothered to read through your own CV properly, then why should anyone else?

It’s harsh, but true. If you’re rubbish at this sort of thing, find a nerdy friend to do it for you. Having trouble with the formatting? There are templates online, so there is no excuse for a sloppy looking CV.

If you’ve got a degree, that’s fantastic, but you need to let employers know what you got out of it. What relevant knowledge did you pick up?

What skills did you learn? Quick quiz: which Bachelor’s degree teaches research, extended writing, analytical and comprehension skills, along with verbal reasoning and persuasion? All of them. BA skills are transferable.

Stress what you learnt on each of your modules, and how it’s relevant to the business you’re applying to.

At the top of your CV should be a very short professional profile.

For example: Sean Oakly, an articulate and ambitious History graduate looking to gain experience in the world of Media Sales.

Having a short, snappy introduction says who you are and what you want.

It grabs attention and focuses the reader. If you can specify the type of career you’re after, then you will start to look like the ideal fit for the role, right from the get-go.

You’re at the start of your career; you don’t need to waffle on and fill two whole pages. A single page is perfectly adequate for a graduate CV. In order to avoid being hypocritical, I’m going to end this paragraph here.

Employers are looking for well-rounded people, they’re not looking for degree classifications with a human attached. Don’t bang on about your hobbies too much, but if you’ve achieved something spectacular in your spare time, or if you can speak another language, for example, then let them know! It makes you stand out, making you more memorable.

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University is a time of studying, drinking, and paying bills.

This can sometimes force students into looking for work to pay off those extra costs. We want you to be happy whilst you are working a part-time job.

Therefore, below is a list of five jobs which are great for fresh-faced or (in my case) veteran students.

There are so many benefits to becoming a Student Ambassador: the work is flexible, the pay averages at ÂŁ7.50 per hour, and you get to work with your uni buddies!

Roles include working on Open Days; advising potential students on courses, the city, and - of course - the cheapest place to get a pint.

Excessive pasta consumption means one thing: tremendous weight gain - which is totally fine for the cold winter months.

Or, if you have access to a bicycle or motorbike, you can apply in five minutes and become a rider for Deliveroo; waving goodbye to those evil pasta calories.

The newly added perks such as cool discounts and receiving high-quality gear make it that much more appealing.

It is no secret that university students are notorious for missing out on lectures.

However, if you are one of the fortunate few to easily absorb module mumbo jumbo, then you should consider tutoring jobs. Not only is it super flexible, with opportunities to work in the evenings, but you can even earn up to ÂŁ50 per hour!

Think of all the booze and food you could get with that.

Since we’re on the topic of booze, let’s discuss it a little further.

Bar work is highly popular with students; you can immerse yourself in the party culture, which will make work go by so much quicker.

You will never have to worry about studies clashing with lectures, and they are always in demand during term time.

One tip: try to avoid working weekdays; otherwise, you will see your 9am lecture dissipate in the 3am pint you’re pouring for a rowdy fellow student.

Let’s digress. If working in a bar environment is not your thing, then fear not.

Working in retail has a lot of stigmas attached, with many ‘horror’ stories of colleagues dealing with rude customers and whatnot.

In essence, retail is great for managing studies, work discounts, and meeting fantastic people along the way.

One tip: check out the Independent article on the best retailers to work for in 2018.

Lush in particular is hugely popular with students due to its vibrant work culture.

Oh, and you receive a free bath bomb at Easter, so you can smell fabulous while you work.

There you have it; a snapshot of great jobs for students.

Nonetheless, whatever you choose, make sure your studies remain a number one priority.

Choose work which allows you to be flexible.

Nobody wants to miss an exam because they were working a shift (unless they didn’t revise, maybe).

By balancing your time evenly with work and studying, you will find the perfect formula to remain financially stable; a phrase rarely used by students.

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Are you an aspiring journalist? Do you want your work seen potentially by millions of people and multinational companies? Then why not contribute with us?

By becoming an SPG contributor you will gain access to an online login area, which will enable you to send articles directly to our site, for us to check. Once approved, your work will be published for the world to see. You can also include links to your socials and write a bio on your personal author page, which will link to all of your SPG articles. Many of our contributors have gone on to land amazing media jobs with the likes of BBC, Channel 4, Sky and The Guardian newspaper!

We’re expanding and looking for specific writers on the following subjects: TRENDING TOPICS GAMING/TECHNOLOGY MOVIES/MUSIC/ENTERTAINMENT SPORT/TRAVEL/EVENTS If you’re interested in getting your work out there and wish to become an SPG contributor, please follow the simple steps below: Submit an article – this will automatically create a contributor account.

You’ll then be sent a connrmation email containing your password.

Log in and update your proole, including social links, a proole picture and bio.

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We will receive a notiication that you’ve sent us an article, check your feature, add the category, SEO keywords and approve it.

You’ll also be automatically rewarded with points each time one of your articles is approved. The contributor with the most points at the end of each month will be featured on our website home page.

We’ve also launched two brand new websites/digital publications, the Travel Pocket Guide and Food Pocket Guide, which both have contribution opportunities.

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Hello Charlotte, maybe you can begin by telling us what you studied in Amsterdam, and when?

From August 2017, I was a student of Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam where I was studying a wide range of topics. Whilst my major is Literature, there was an opportunity to engage with several history classes which really brought a fresh perspective to my work. I studied there for the first semester of my second year as an undergrad student.

Why did you decide to take this course in Amsterdam?

I decided to head to Amsterdam for this course because my university here in England has a fantastic Erasmus programme in place, and studying abroad had a lot of appeal for me as I love to travel. There were a lot of options across Europe and the rest of the globe, but Amsterdam was my first choice because I didn’t really know anything about the Netherlands and its history.

After visiting in 2016, this was knowledge I wanted to expand as much as possible. In addition to this, I also speak English and German, so learning Dutch in a Dutch speaking country seemed a fun challenge, as this language is somewhere between the two.

What was the process like for applying to study abroad?

Applying to study abroad was quite a long process which required a lot of organisation to prevent stress. Relatively similar to UCAS in ways, it required a series of deadlines and paperwork to ensure everything necessary was in place for me to have a safe time away when living in a new country different to my own. Whilst this did take up a lot of time and concentration, it did reassure me that even in the midst of completing paperwork on health and finances, I remained completely certain of my initial decision. Having that clarity throughout the procedure was extremely important.

How did you fund your studies?

I funded my studies through savings, Student Finance England and the Erasmus grant offered as part of the programme I was accepted on to.

In terms of SFE, the application process was exactly the same as applying for my usual full time study fee. The only difference was that, due to being in a different part of Europe, the tuition fees were actually much lower than they usually are in the UK. Budgeting was crucial when I was away as food and transport can be quite pricey - researching this in advance was a big help in planning ahead.

What was the accommodation like over there?

Accommodation in the Netherlands is relatively limited so it’s really important to apply early. I was able to get an en suite room/bathroom on the university campus, and I shared my kitchen and living space with 7 other international students. There were the blocks of rooms, a theatre where I could practice piano, a gym, and lots of green space. (Amsterdam culture is very protective of the environment.) It was great to have so much space as well as a small place of my own, the balance of which made it much easier to settle in and feel at home whilst studying and making friends.

How did it differ to your experiences of studying here in the UK? There were several initial differences which I have mentioned, such as the financing. The biggest difference which I had to adjust to was definitely the work pace. Where in the UK, three modules a semester is the average, in Amsterdam the norm is five to six, with much larger amounts of reading and vaguer assignment briefs. But it was actually really great to have a new timetable and work plan because it pushed me to achieve another level of my potential.

This was especially the case as I was studying a combination of classes including history, linguistics and economics, as well as literature.

Getting back to my studies in Britain, it is so much easier now to plan and get tasks done as there is much less than I was accustomed to for the past six months.

What did you most enjoy about your time in the Netherlands?

It is hard to choose what I most enjoyed from my time living in the Netherlands, as there is just so much! In terms of art and music, there is quite simply no equal.

I loved being just around the corner from the Rijk and the Van Gogh museums; the gardens around there are beautiful spaces and free to the public.

Often you would catch me there with a good book when it was sunny.

Also, I enjoyed how everything is so close knit because of the canal set-up, with lots of twisty, cobbled streets I enjoyed cycling and exploring when looking for new book shops.

What is the nightlife like for students?

Amsterdam has a big reputation for being popular amongst students, with lots of pubs and clubs available. Most of these are found in the central city but are pretty accessible, especially by the metro which runs all throughout the Netherlands. I particularly enjoyed the jazz clubs near Spuistraat, as the live music there was always exciting and fun.

There were also a few festivals on when I first arrived in the city, and I would head with friends pretty much every evening for my first week to the film fest that was on.

Do you often return to visit friends?

I’m planning to return in 2019 for Queens Day, which is the annual celebration of the monarchy and the country where everyone wears orange (the national colour) and attends parades. The friends I made in the Netherlands are always in regular touch, and we are hoping to meet then to explore the infamous tulip fields. To be honest, I sometimes get really homesick for Amsterdam and it’s hard to stay away too long now! On top of this, I’ve actually kept in touch with a few of my lecturers as I am helping with the publication of some poetry which my class produced around Christmas time which I’m sure will leave plenty of opportunity to visit.

For people who have never been before, what are your top three tips when visiting the city?

I would highly recommend those visiting the Netherlands for the first time to explore Amsterdam by bicycle. Practically everyone travels by bike, and the city is designed to make this one of the most efficient modes of transport. In addition to this, for bigger tourist spots such as the Anne Frank Huis and museums, I would highly advise booking in advance online as queues can get very big and this saves any potential disappointment! Lastly, be sure to try some of the famous cuisine, whether this be stroopwafel or some of the freshly squeezed orange juice from the supermarkets (if you buy the bottle, you can pay just for refills at any store). Above all else? Wander and soak in everything around you at your own pace, it’s the best way to enjoy everything to the fullest.

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References: 1. Imported malaria cases and deaths in the UK: 2017. https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/imported-malaria-in-the-uk-statistics [Last accessed August 2018]. 2. Public Health England. Malaria imported into the United Kingdom: 2017. Implications for those advising travellers. https://assets.publishing.service.gov. uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/722591/Malaria_imported_into_the_United_Kingdom_2017.pdf [Last accessed August 2018]. 3. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Human Factors and Malaria. https://www.cdc.gov/malaria/about/biology/human_factors.html [Last accessed July 2018].

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Interview by Lucy Rix

Noodle; fictional, Japanese musician and lead guitarist of the world’s most successful virtual band, Gorillaz, talks about their new album, global tour, and recent crazy adventures...

Hey Noodle! I’m really loving your latest and sixth studio album, THE NOW NOW. What’s the reaction been like since its release and how’s everything with you and the band currently?

We are touring the THE NOW NOW right now; it has been quite crazy. In Moscow, a torrential storm came down, so we had to stop the show for fear of being struck by lightening. But I don’t think I should read too much into that. It was fun and exciting. Of course, everyone was ok, if a little wet… We recently played a show in my hometown in Japan of the whole record. It was special, and people have liked the album very much. It’s very real and an honest collection of songs.

What did you guys get up to between the release of ‘Humanz’ and this new album?

We have been on the road quite consistently and constantly this year. We have toured the world, everywhere from Sao Paolo to Moscow, from Tokyo to Los Angeles, which is what we love to do. We are explorers at heart. We love to go to different places and talk to different people. Then the songs flow out. We are all different, but we say what we want and with Murdoc not around, it was easier… Also, of course meditation helps too.

Can you tell us a bit about the concept for the latest album and what inspired the tracks?

The new album is about being present in the moment. In the now. NOW. Or at least, that’s what 2D thinks. Reset yourself and get back on track.

It’s a very emotional record.

How would you say the Gorillaz sound and band dynamics have changed over the past 20 years? Would you attribute your surroundings to these changes?

20 years don’t pass for us. We are now. Everyone grows and changes, whether that be in size, or in knowledge and of course without Murdoc around, things have been very different. The world around us is changing and strange things have been happening. There are many bad things which happen, but humans can overcome all. Our music is always a direct reaction to the way the world is influencing us and making us feel, and right now we need to stick together and have faith. Don’t give up. Fight on!

Do you think working with Murdoc has made the band’s journey more appealing to the worldwide audience, or has it just been a danger to your health? Have any of you heard from him since his imprisonment?

Murdoc is there for your interpretation. He’s like green marmite: some people love him, some people hate him. As for me, I miss the energy he brings to the table. He has very high expectations, and always puts energy on the table which often punishes 2D, particularly when the expectations aren’t met by the world. However, I do not miss his smell and the things he would leave all over the tour bus.

Having been with the band for around 20 years now, I imagine you’ve seen some pretty bad habits, but who has the worst?

Keeping up with Murdoc’s lies over the years has been exhausting. Whether he’s lying about what he did last night, or just exaggerating the truth. He’s always up to no good with that mouth of his.

We’re living in a time where lies are believed, and nobody benefits from that!

What are your favourite memories with each of the band members?

I have a memory involving all four of us. It was when we performed with Madonna at the Grammy Awards. Seeing all their faces as Madonna sashayed past, wiggling around the stage like a beautiful eel!

That is a memory. I very much enjoyed playing my guitar too. We toasted the future that night. And now we are in that future. Weird, huh.

Your time with the band has fostered many interesting adventures so far, such as the incident with the demon from hell, Mazuu. Other than that, what has been your craziest adventure?

The craziest adventure is that we are still here.

We have been subjected to hell, fire and plague and we still exist.

Photo credit: Jake Stark

I’d go to the chef James Martin’s house, because it’s like a fortress and he’s got more food and wine than I have ever seen in my life... and a hot tub.

I’d run to my parents’ place, they wouldn’t find me there.

I’d have to become Professor Wretch.

I would grab food, water, gas masks, my boyfriend and get out! I don’t know what I would use for a weapon though.

I’d get out of the city and go up to the highland, where zombies wouldn’t be able to walk. I’d be self sufficient, stay away from cities and towns, get some guns and just become a great farmer.

I think a tree house would be the way forward, with loads of supplies... and I’d cover myself in Zombie blood, obviously!

Today’s students grew up gaming in the early 2000s, and for many of them, mere mention of The Simpsons: Hit & Run is enough to provide a gut punch of nostalgia.

For those not in the know, this 2003 title was an attempt at mimicking the Grand Theft Auto formula in the setting of Evergreen Terrace and as you’d come to expect from The Simpsons, it served as an exceptionally satirical take on said formula.

While the character animations can look a little stunted compared to more recent releases - especially during in-game dialogue scenes - they were at least passable for the time.

On the plus side, the game’s cell shaded look gives it a charmingly cartoony feeling, and from that perspective, the graphics hold up brilliantly. To put things simply, it looks like The Simpsons, but in 3D.

The Simpsons: Hit & Run utilises the classic TV theme tune perfectly within the score, often adding comedy to the situations you’re in. It’s a welcome touch which demonstrates the fine attention to detail paid when making this game.

For example, when exiting your vehicle and continuing on foot, Homer will complain directly at the player, and the fast-paced music which plays while driving will slow down to a crawl, with a comical, low pitch “plodding along” style.

That may not seem like much, but it’s a culmination of the little things which give this game so much character.

The voice acting is also definitely worth a mention.

During gameplay, your character will constantly comment on what you’re doing in hilarious Simpsons style one liners some of which have been directly lifted from the show.

All of the original voice actors were used, further adding to The Simpsons: Hit & Run’s authenticity the game’s strongest overall asset.

Driving feels intuitive enough, and the variety of unlockable vehicles (all of which are referential to the show) act appropriately depending on their weight. For many of the unlockable vehicles, you actually take control of their owners while your character sits in the passenger seat. Their added dialogue makes for some great replay value once you get bored of hearing your own character’s lines.

The occasional on-foot sections play out pretty much like your standard 3D platformer, and the characters control well enough in these scenarios to not frustrate you.

Unfortunately, the main thing lacking in The Simpsons: Hit & Run is gameplay variety. You will be spending the vast majority of your time repeating the same exact few mission structures: get from point A to B in a set time, destroy X number of cars in a set time, collect X number of items in a set time, or a mixture of all three.

While this is extremely repetitive, the saving grace here is that the stories to these missions are consistently amusing, playing out like episodes of the show would. Moments from past episodes are often referenced, too, adding some value for the hardcore fans of the show. The explanations behind what you’re doing add a greater feeling of variety to what could have very easily gotten stale, given the basic foundation of the gameplay.

If you’re looking for a great GTA style game, then play the latest GTA. It has greater gameplay variety, and clearly puts The Simpsons: Hit & Run to shame on a technical level. However, if you’re an avid fan of The Simpsons and are simply looking for a way to immerse yourself in the setting, then I can’t recommend this game enough. It’s a great homage to the show with an amusing story. GTA may be a fantastic urban simulator, but The Simpsons: Hit & Run is a fantastic Simpsons simulator.

James Gunn.

The name alone should show you why you should take what you post on social media seriously. Your past can and will come back to bite you on the bum. Gunn lost out on one of the juiciest gigs in Hollywood because of a few bad jokes he made years ago.

Every day there’s a new story about someone doing something which blows up in their face. People get filmed being rude to waiters which then goes viral, and from then on are known as “Angry Spaghetti woman”, or whatever.

One of the tricky things is that social media is both established and very new. Facebook has been around for about 14 years, and Twitter is around 12 years old! The first adopters of these mediums who were young and cool when it launched are officially old people now. That’s a scary thought.

You’d think after more than a decade that all the kinks would be worked out by now. But in the long term, we are only just beginning to see the serious implications of social media on people’s careers.

You may think that LinkedIn is like Facebook’s boring older brother - this being said, using it to showcase your professional skills could help land you your dream job.

Don’t be fooled into thinking that someone you want a job from is just going to look at your smart picture and your polished CV on LinkedIn. If they find you on Twitter with hundreds of pictures of you getting wasted and bragging about missing lectures because you were hungover - that won’t make a great impression.

Pretty much everyone can see your tweets. Unless you’re a Tango-Skinned lunatic running the most powerful country on earth (not naming anyone), what you say has consequences.

Tweeting something snarky to a celebrity or making an edgy joke can and has blown up beyond any reasonable response.

When a Twitter mob smells blood, you better believe they will come after you. Don’t be naïve and think it could never happen to you.

Sometimes it can be done with the best of intentions - who hasn’t joined a hashtag trying to get justice for something or other. But sometimes it can just be hounding someone and ruining their life. The really scary thing is, you don’t know if something is going to go viral until it does. And you better pray that if something you say goes viral it’s a witty comment you made, not an inappropriate joke.

Read every post you make to yourself before you publish it. How does it sound in your head? If you sound like a bigot or a jerk, don’t post it.

I’m friends with my mum on Facebook (don’t laugh…) for this exact reason.

I don’t post anything that I think would upset her to read. It’s a good way of self-censoring what you post to keep it from getting nasty.

Only for boring stuff you want an employer to see.

No memes, no matter how wholesome.

Don’t post anything you wouldn’t be ok with your mum seeing.

If you’re using your real name or posting pictures of yourself, use common sense.

If you’re going to start a weird kink page, maybe use a nom de plume?

This one is tricky. If you post on groups and public pages, anyone can see it. However, for posting on your own wall, you can change privacy settings and make sure that ‘randomers’ can’t comment on your posts or see them. But remember: there is nothing stopping people from taking a screenshot of what you write and sharing it.

Be very careful making and sharing videos. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great platform. But in ten years time, do you really want people in the office gathered around a screen laughing at you drunkenly singing The Circle of Life from the Lion King?

I didn’t think so. If someone has a camera out at a party, it’s always worth asking them not to film you if you’re not comfortable with it.

Rising popstar Emma Blackery is a woman of many talents. The singer-songwriter, author, and YouTube vlogger has grown a mammoth online presence including an impressive 1.4 million subscribers.

Emma opens up about her struggles with mental health, her debut album release, and the events which have catapulted her into fame.

Interview by Lucy Rix

Photos by Fraser Taylor

Hi Emma, thanks so much for taking the time to speak to us! Firstly, congratulations on your album release.

How does it feel to finally have your music out there?

It is such a relief! I’d been working non-stop on the writing, recording, mixing and promotion of this album since August 2017, so to have my fans finally be able to hear the album from start to finish feels absolutely amazing. I’ve been keeping so much of my personal journey to myself, and now my story is out there in the world for everyone to hear. It’s liberating.

You’ve previously stated that you were in a very negative headspace when you wrote the album ‘Villains’.

Did you find that writing music helped you deal with your emotions?

Music is always going to be a coping mechanism, and has been a source of catharsis for most of my life. I know that I’ll be documenting my headspace - positive or negative - in that form for many years to come.

How would you say this album differs to your previous work?

That question is far too huge to answer in such a short space of time. It’s just completely different: the genre, the overall sound, the topics I’ve written about, the recording process - all of it. It’s been more personal, and far more emotional to create.

Talk us through your thoughts and inspiration behind the song ‘Icarus’.

Throughout my time writing this album, I was going through a lot of personal relationship problems; falling out with friends, public spats, etc. I felt as though everyone was turning on me, as though it were all planned out behind my back. Icarus is the moment in the album where instead of shifting the blame onto everyone else around me, I look inwards, and ask myself: “Is it possible that this is at least partly my own doing? If everyone is turning on me, is it possible that I am to blame?”

>>>

The answer is: yes, absolutely, but at the time I was just coming to terms with the fact that I wasn’t some perfect, innocent victim. I was short-tempered, insecure, and not always nice to be around.

You’ve opened up for acts like Busted and Pixie Lott. What was this time in your life like?

Both opportunities were incredible, and I’m very grateful for them. Being on tour with Busted back in 2016 was a huge learning curve for me. Before that arena tour, I’d played to around 800 people at the

Photos by Fraser Taylor

very most. Now, I was playing to 10,000 people a night, who didn’t all know who I was, were not in the arenas for my music, and were eager to hear Busted.

There were some challenges, such as technical issues on the opening night, and some tough crowds, but I learned very quickly how to cope with those things. Also - not to jinx anything - but I’m pretty sure my sound cutting out at the O2 arena in front of 20,000 people is probably the worst experience I’m ever going to have on stage. It can only be better than that!

Speaking of which, you’re touring a lot in October throughout Europe and the UK. What aspects of touring there are you most looking forward to?

There are so many countries on the tour which I’ve never been to before, and there are fans who have been waiting for me to perform in their country for four or five years. It’s going to be so great experiencing

the different cultures, seeing the sights, and being able to reach out to those fans. For the UK leg, I’m excited to play some venues I’ve never played before, with an entirely new setlist taken from the album.

There are many fans attending who have never seen me perform before, and also many who have seen me many times over the years; I’m going to do my best to make sure both sets of fans have the night of their lives.

You’ve spoken recently about finding it difficult over the last couple of years being genuine in videos and your own life. What advice would you give to others who feel like this?

After putting your life online for so many years, it can be difficult to separate your online persona (with edited Instagram posts and well-crafted captions, edited videos, etc.) from the person who you truly have been all of your life.

Working with social media can make you feel as though there is never any down time, and many creators I know are experiencing a sense of creative burnout. My advice would be to put your fears aside and take time out for yourself - ask yourself who

>>>

you are, what you truly love, what your core beliefs are, and what you’re committed to in terms of making a difference to the world.

Talk us through an average week in the life of Emma Blackery…

Sleep, first and foremost. It’s my first love. Spending time with family is a huge priority of mine, and I do my best to visit them at least once a week.

A lot of my week is spent in meetings, travelling to and from those meetings, having songwriting sessions with other artists, coming up with ideas for new video content, and unwinding by playing video games like Fallout 4. And then I go back to sleep!

You speak in your book and on your YouTube channel about your mental health struggles. How important do you find it to share your issues with your followers, and why?

I think it is important for two reasons: to spread awareness - letting others know that struggling with mental health shouldn’t be taboo, and that

Photos by Fraser Taylor

they are never alone - but also, because that honesty with followers helps them get to know you as a person, and allows them to feel as though you are not hiding your true self from them. I have always found that being honest is easy. Some other creators prefer to play their cards close to their chest, and I respect that also. Everyone has the right to share or not share anything they choose. I just believe that being open and letting others know that they are not alone outweighs the cost of oversharing.

You’ve already achieved so much in your life so far by the age of 26. Do you have any big plans in place for what’s next?

Shortly after my upcoming tour is over, I’ll be turning 27. I want 27 to be the year where I am the truest to myself which I have ever been. I’m planning on taking some time out to get reacquainted with myself, focusing on my mental health, and coming back recharged in 2019 with more video content, more music, and hopefully a lot more shows.

Apps have become an integral part of life nowadays. Their variety and complexity allows immediate, simple access to things which would otherwise be expensive or inconvenient. Recently, many apps have emerged focusing on meditation and self-help, attempting to spread and promote mindfulness.

Mindfulness: ‘a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations’.

While the idea of using an app on a device to achieve a sense of mindfulness may at first seem counterintuitive, the sophistication of the apps in this list show how the medium is perfectly suited for spreading such teachings.

Relaxing sounds and scenes; a progression system from beginner to intermediate and advanced sessions; unique mediation practises added on a daily basis; bedtime stories to help you drift off.

These are just some of the features which come with Calm. Voted the App Store’s App of the Year for 2017, the mission at Calm is ‘to make the world healthier and happier’.

The fact that this ethos has garnered such success bodes well for the future.

On a recent episode of Russell Brand’s ‘Under the Skin’ podcast, Headspace creator Andy Puddicombe explained how his app aims to introduce mindfulness to the public – to integrate it into society and make it a part of ‘normal life’.

As well as bitesize practises, Headspace includes SOS Sessions for much-needed stress and anxiety releases. Many high-profile figures, including Brand himself, have vouched for the app – Emma Watson described it as ‘kind of genius’.

This app is slightly different to others in this list. While they are mostly geared towards beginners, Insight Timer has no set regime or progression, instead offering sessions and practises from a wide variety of teachers and courses. There is a great sense of community about the app, with hundreds of forums and groups with people from across the globe.

While mindfulness is often something achieved alone, it can be helpful to share the experience with others.

Smiling Mind has a strong emphasis on helping children as well as adults.

The Mindfulness in the Classroom programme offers sessions focussed specifically on maintaining healthy young minds, from ages 7 to 18.

The app has been so popular and successful amongst the youth of the world that tens of thousands of educators have integrated this programme into schools, while the Workplace programme has been taken on by over 200 organisations.

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As you mature, visiting the doctor without a parent by your side can be daunting. Especially when it involves mental health; here are some reassuring words to make the process less intimidating.

Always remember that the GP is there to help. You can guarantee that your doctor has dealt with mental health issues before and it’s nothing they haven’t seen. They are a health professional whose only goal is to help you and make you feel comfortable. They are not there to judge.

Try writing down exactly how you feel and what you want to try to tell them. You can simply pass the notes to the doctor who will read it and then go from there. When it comes to mental health, it can be difficult to voice your emotions, especially when you don’t really understand them yourself.

Try making an appointment for something less sensitive to talk about - i.e. maybe you’ve had earache for a while and want to get it checked! It will get you used to communicating with your doctor and allow you to build a relationship with them, making sensitive subjects easier to discuss.

Definitely don’t start avoiding visits. The longer you leave it for, the worse it will make you feel! It can then make visiting the doctor become increasingly difficult if your symptoms worsen. Facing your fears head on is always the best approach to take – as difficult as it may be.

I don’t mean your mum, but a friend who can wait for you in the waiting room. Knowing you have support waiting for you outside of that enclosed room will help you to relax. Your friend doesn’t have to know specifically why you’re going to the doctors, but simply that you would like some support.

Being in close proximity of flat mates might make it seem difficult to just pick and choose your friends. But if you’re affected by peer pressure then it’s important to choose to have the right people in your life who wouldn’t force you into doing anything you’re uncomfortable with. The right friends accept you for who you are, and wouldn’t want to change you. So remember, pick the friends who you like, not just the ones who are ‘popular’.

Another way you can prevent peer pressure is by keeping yourself busy with healthy habits and hobbies. Take time for yourself and enjoy the things that make you happy and relaxed i.e. art or going to the gym. It’s also a great way to meet new people with similar interests.

And say it like you mean it. Tell the person pressuring you that you are not comfortable, or even make up an excuse and say you have an appointment somewhere. Although simply saying no doesn’t always work, remaining firm and making it clear what you want will prevent them from peer pressuring you in the future.

You should always aim to make decisions with the most important person in mind; you! Make sure your decisions benefit you and don’t make you uncomfortable unless it really calls for it. Don’t make decisions based on what other people want you to do or think will be good for you.

Couples nowadays want to know what’s “healthy” within their sex lives.

Usually they’re afraid of having too much sex or not enough…

This can lead to stress, anxiety, depression and especially low self esteem.

It can even lead to the end of a successful relationship. Having sex once or twice a week, every day of the week, or even more than once in a day can be beneficial for all couples.

Life is stressful, and anxiety creeps its way into our lives, which can be harmful to our physical health. However, research has shown that having sex on a regular basis leads to cell growth in the hippocampus - the part of the brain which keeps stress levels under control. So if you’re feeling a little stress, just jump into the bed sheets with your partner! Research has also shown that people who only had penetrative sex had the smallest rise in blood pressure – this shows that they coped better with stress.

However, many people find that intimacy without penetration helps them feel more relaxed.

Having frequent sex can actually improve the quality of your sleep. Both men and women find they sleep a hell of a lot better after having sex with their partner. Sex boosts the production of Oxycontin and decreases the production of Cortisol (which decreases stress). These hormonal changes leave your body in a relaxed state, making it easier for you to fall asleep after having intercourse with your partner. However, highly active sex can make you feel more energised than sleepy. So if you plan on rolling over to sleep afterwards, try to keep things calm...

Having sex with your partner can be very awkward and uncoordinated, but as you get further into the relationship, you both become more confident around each other - especially in the bedroom! It’s been proven that many women get their sexual self-assurance from their partners, who are therefore the main sources of their confidence. It feels amazing when your partner gives you that confidence boost. You’ll both feel better about yourselves.

Discussing sexually transmitted diseases and infections is a topic many of us try to avoid, but it’s vital that we break the stigma surrounding them and learn to talk openly and freely so that we can recognise symptoms and seek the right kind of medical attention.

Like they say, avoid STDs - don’t avoid the conversation.

Chlamydia is a bacterial infection which affects both men and women and is common in young adults and teenagers. It’s passed from person to person through unprotected sex (vaginal, anal, and oral). In 2013, 200,000 people were diagnosed with the infection with 7 in 10 of them being under 25.

Most people with the infection don’t display any symptoms and don’t even know they have Chlamydia. However, some symptoms may include: Unusual discharge from the penis, vagina, or rectum.

Pain and discomfort when urinating.

Women may experience tummy pain, spotting between periods, and bleeding during or after sex.

Men may experience swelling and pain in the testicles.

If left untreated, the infection can spread and lead to infertility and pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). Because there are often no symptoms, it’s important that young sexually active adults get checked for the infection every year. Luckily, Chlamydia can be treated with a short course of antibiotics.

Gonorrhea is a sexually transmitted infection (STI) which mostly affects young people and is commonly known as ‘the clap’. It’s passed through genital fluid including discharge from both the vangina and penis. The bacteria infects the cervix, urethra, rectum, and even eyes and throat. Pregnant women can pass Gonorrhea to their baby.

Again, many people don’t experience any symptoms when they have Gonorrhea, so it’s important you are checked yearly for the infection. Possible symptoms include: Thick yellow or green discharge from the genital areas in both men and women.

Pain and discomfort when urinating.

Women may experience bleeding between periods.

Gonorrhea is easily treated with a single antibiotic tablet and injection - symptoms should then clear up within a few days. You may need to attend a follow up appointment to make sure the infection is gone.

You should avoid having sex until you receive the all clear.

This is another sexually transmitted infection which affects both men and women and is caused by a parasite called Trichomonas Vaginalis.

It is spread through unprotected sex and mostly affects the urethra, vagina, penis head, and prostate gland. It isn’t passed through anal or oral sex.

Symptoms might not develop for up to a month after being infected, and many people don’t experience any symptoms at all. Make sure you are checked regularly for sexually transmitted infections if you are sexually active. Symptoms may include:

Abnormal discharge from the vagina which is green/yellow and foul smelling.

Inflammation, itching, and soreness in and around the vagina.

Pain and discomfort when having sex or urinating.

Pain when urinating or even ejaculating.

More frequent urination.

White discharge from the penis.

Soreness and possible swelling around the head of the penis.

Trichomoniasis is effectively treated with antibiotics and you will be asked to avoid having sex until the infection clears up.

Any recent or current sexual partners should also seek treatment.

Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) is a sexually transmitted virus which attacks and damages the cells in the immune system, weakening the ability to fight against everyday diseases and infections. When your immune system is severely damaged by the HIV virus, you may develop a number of potentially life-threatening illnesses and infections, also known as AIDS (acquired immune deficiency syndrome).

AIDS cannot be transmitted, but the HIV virus can.

The virus is found and passed in bodily fluids including vaginal and anal fluids, semen, blood, and even breast milk.

It is not found in sweat, urine, or saliva.

People who are at risk and should have regular checks are: Black African heterosexuals.

Men who have sex with men.

People who share injecting equipment such as needles.

Many people will go years without experiencing any kind of symptoms, but it still attacks the immune system.

Some people experience a flu-like illness shortly after infection.

There is no cure for HIV, but with early diagnosis and treatment, most people will live normal and healthy lives without developing any AIDS related illnesses.

Herpes is an STI passed through unprotected vaginal, anal, or oral sex.

It’s an uncomfortable and lifelong infection where symptoms often flare up during times of stress. It’s the same infection which causes cold sores.

Blisters and open sores around the genital area.

Pain when urinating.

Burning, itching, and tingling around the genital area.

Unusual vaginal discharge.

There is no cure or proper treatment for Genital Herpes.

A healthcare professional can prescribe you with antiviral medication to stop the infection getting worse, and there are multiple creams you can use to soothe the pain.

Human Papillomavirus (HPV) is the name given to a group of viruses which are highly contagious and passed on through unprotected sex and genital contact. The viruses affect your skin and the membranes lining your body.

HPV infections are quite common and there are around 30 types of the virus which can affect the genitals.

The HPV virus often results in a range of warts on the skin, including Genital Warts. Some cases lead to cervical cancer but most young girls between 12 - 13 are vaccinated against it. Many people won’t display symptoms for months or even years, so it’s important that you get yourself checked out.

Whilst there is no cure for HPV, you can make a few changes in your lifestyle to prevent flare ups including quitting smoking, avoiding oral contraceptives, and having a healthy and balanced diet while getting regular exercise. Warts will come and go with the virus and can be treated as and when they appear.

This is a bacterial infection spread through sex with an infected person and close contact with open sores.

You might not display any symptoms or symptoms may disappear, but you will still be infected unless treated. Symptoms include: Painless sores around the genital areas and possibly mouth.

A rash on your hands and feet which looks red and blotchy.

Fatigue, a high temperature, headaches, and swollen glands.

Little skin growths around the genital and anal areas.

Syphilis is unlikely to go away without treatment, and being left untreated can lead to serious, long term problems which result in it spreading to the brain. You will need to be tested for the infection and then treated with a simple course of antibiotic tablets or injections.

If you think you have a sexually transmitted disease or infection, visit your GP or a Sexual Health or GUM clinic as soon as possible to get early diagnosis and treatment.

Most sexual health clinics have walk-in appointments available, so you can just turn up.

Your visit will be straightforward and confidential; there is no need to feel embarrassed as the staff are professionals who are used to testing and treating all kinds of infections in all types of different people. Be safe, not sorry use condoms!

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TIPS TO HELP YOU SURVIVE FRESHERS’ University can be the changing point in many young people’s lives: they grow in confidence, soar intellectually and spend more money on alcohol than ever before. As my final year of university begins, I have come across some tips which will ensure any student’s survival, especially at freshers’ . f

TEA & BISCUITS It’s inevitable that someone, somewhere will be feeling homesick, and a cup of tea is a great way to restore good humour and break the ice. So if you haven’t already got haven some, pop to the shops and get some tea bags and biscuits, whilst familiarising yourself with the new area.

STAY SAFE Go out in a group, only use licensed taxis, and don’t walk home by yourself. On the subject of getting home, it’s worthwhile taking a picture of the front of your new residence and making a note of the address. It’ll help you get home after one too many.

BUDGET Leave your cards at home; cash is king.

That way, there’s no chance you’ll get carried away with your spending and have to economise for the rest of the year.

Own-brand baked beans can get tiresome.

EA T HE AL TH Y It’s obvious, but so many of us don’t do it. And, according to The Guardian, 46% of freshers miss their mum’s cooking more than anything else at home. So accept the facts, stock up on healthy food, and of course, drink lots of water.

TALK

There’s someone waiting at home to hear from you. Give them a call, let them know you’re OK, and maybe order some more teabags.

After a decade of popstar status, Lily Allen is back with a bang with her latest album ‘No Shame’. Considering today’s fleeting amount of candid speaking celebrities, there’s no one else quite like Lily out there; using social media and musical platforms, she speaks her mind with fearless honesty.

Lily discusses re-discovering why she’s in the music industry, her mishaps, and what she’s hoping to get across with this most recent album...

Hi Lily, thanks so much for speaking to us!

What are you up to at the minute?

I just had a big interview for my book with The Guardian and now I’m going to watch ‘Power’ on Netflix, that’s my plan for the immediate future.

Your new tour is currently underway and ongoing until the end of the year. What’s the most enjoyable thing about touring?

The gig! I’m not a massive fan of being on the road, but I do love the actual gig itself.

What’s your rider?

It’s not very extensive actually, it’s just Wotsits, Monster Munch, honey, ginger and mineral water.

Until June this year you hadn’t released any music or been in the public eye so much. What did you get up to in this time, and did you benefit from taking a big step back before you started on your latest album?

Mentally, yes. Commercially, probably not.

I had lots of stuff going on; I was going through a divorce, and writing an album I wanted to get right, which is all very time consuming. I wasn’t really welcoming the distractions of the showbiz lifestyle while I was going through all of that.

We think everyone can really tell you’ve put your heart and soul into your latest album ‘No Shame’.

Did putting such brutally honest confessions out into the world for everyone to see come easily to you?

I think I’ve always been honest in all my music really, maybe album three upwards was slightly contrived, but albums one and two were definitely honest, just in a slightly different way. I was looking outwardly at that time, enjoying being relatively young, having no responsibilities, no kids and stuff like that.

Whereas on this record, I wasn’t in such a care-free place, and as I said before: going through a divorce, having a situation with a stalker and feeling very isolated, I think that it wasn’t hard being honest at all; it was just a different kind of honesty.

How do you feel about tabloids being so personal about your life?

I think tabloids are pretty redundant nowadays, aren’t they? You know, I’ve got more followers on Twitter than they’ve got circulation daily. They don’t really have as much pull and relevance anymore.

Do you think the album’s title ‘No Shame’ explains the open and honest story throughout the album and gives an insight to the listener of what they should be expecting from it?

It depends really, I think that if you’re like a Daily Mail reader then yeah, the title works for you because it’s like “yeah, she’s got no shame”. Whereas, my meaning of it would be more like I’m talking about things which I think people wouldn’t normally talk about in such a personal way, and I guess I’m absolving myself of shame by doing so. So I think it’s got two meanings.

So you’ve previously admitted you don’t really like your last album ‘Sheezus’. What was it you disliked so much about it? And what did you do to make sure this album was different?

Before I’d released ‘Sheezus’ I’d also taken a three year hiatus as well to have children. I think I was struggling with postnatal depression. Having been out of the game for a while when I came to write the last album and then promote it, I think I was just making something which I thought other people would want.

I wasn’t really considering myself in it at all, and any of my brand so to speak - not like I actually have a brand [laughs] - but, it is about honesty and truth.

I don’t think it felt real or truthful and I found it really hard to sell that. I think that fans saw that, because if you’ve made a thing out of being an honest and truthful person and then you come along as something that isn’t that, then it sticks out a mile off.

In a previous interview you said that this latest album ‘No Shame’ reflects a sadder and more difficult time in your life. Do you find you use music as an outlet for your struggles? And do you find it important to be so honest about these times with your audience?

I think it’s more to do with myself and trying to figure out what I do this job for. It’s not really about money and it’s not really about fame, so I guess it’s about the product and the music; it just seems like the right thing to do.

You’re releasing a biography later this year called ‘My Thoughts Exactly’. How was it writing this book alongside your latest album, and what should fans be expecting from it?

It’s a collection of essays about different subject matters.

It’s not a straight memoir, and I guess it possibly covers my career more than what came before. Although it does cover my relationship with my mum a little bit as well.

It’s sort of different subject matters like sex, money, music; lots of different things.

People love you for your fearless honesty and outspoken take on social media. Do you think these are important traits for anyone in your position?

It depends what they want. If they want to make lots of money and get lots of brand endorsements, then no.

If they feel like they want to be part of a conversation about where the world is at and what they can do to help, then yes; it depends what your agenda is.

How would you say your view on fame has changed over the last 10 years?

I think it’s different now; 10 years ago when I first started in this world, tabloids had all of the power, they set the tone and the narrative, which is not the case anymore.

Now you can do that on your own through your own social media channels. I think fame in itself is different to what it was then, and probably different to what it was 10 years previous to that - it evolves and becomes less or more meaningful.

What advice would you give young people wanting to get into the world of music?

Get a degree in Law or Economics first [laughs], because both of those things will come in handy when it comes to trying to get paid.

You’re a superstar (that’s what you are).

Adored by millions, with an entourage who will do anything you want, and fall over each other to do it first, you’re able to set the terms for any appearance you make.

We’ve reviewed some of the strangest tour rider requests celebrities have made, and added in a few bizarre entourage duties too.

Down-to-earth or Diva? You decide.

British singing sensation Adele wants Marlboro Lights, a disposable lighter and six metal teaspoons when she’s backstage.

And Hello, absolutely no organic honey, citrus fruit, nor tomatoes in her sandwiches please.

Beyonce wants rose-scented candles and has banned Coca-Cola products from her presence, to fulfil her contractual obligations to Pepsi. Oh, and her dressing room should be 78 degrees at all times.

Do You Believe that Cher’s 1999 tour demands included a wig room?

Grace Jones claims she’s Not Perfect, but her tour rider does not come cheap.

This Party Girl demands Cristal Champagne, vintage red and white wines, oysters (unopened please, Grace will shuck them herself ), shashimi and sushi for eight.

Jay-Z and his ego, sorry entourage, require no fewer than seven dressing rooms, a love seat and some premium peanut butter.

He may have 99 problems, but his back stage arrangements ain’t one.

Justin Bieber had a food and drink holder to mind his pizza while on Saturday Night Live.

That makes No Sense - why not just use a table?

Kanye West ain’t no Gold Digger (allegedly), but he digs shower shoes. And lots of alcohol.

And a barber’s chair, but no barber.

loves her brands.

Katy Perry hates carnations, butgarita, Mar Huggies baby wipes, Santa Tips.

Pinot Grigio, Twinnings and PG

Lady Gaga has a smoothie station and three fans.

We’re Speechless - how could she possibly choose just three from her 75 million followers?

Don’t forget her army of costumers, all at home in the Haus of Gaga.

Queen of pop Madonna doesn’t ask for much, honestly. Just 20 international phone lines, a dressing room which is an exact replica of her living room and sufficient space for her 200-strong entourage. She sure is a Material Girl.

Rumoured to be the queen of divas, Mariah Carey’s demands include Jo Malone vanilla candles, white roses and drapes everywhere. Water, wine and gum also feature, but that’s pretty much all she Wants For Christmas, and every other appearance she makes.

Allegedly, Mariah employs a catcher among her entourage whose job it is to walk backwards in front of her.

She’s clearly Obsessed that she’ll stumble and fall, and needs a Hero to catch her.

Still, rather catcher than being the one to carry around her favourite toilet paper: that’s Dedicated.

P!nk has a particularly intimate relationship with one of her entourage. Jackie psyches this singer-songwriter up for performances by, erm, pinching her nipples. Not sure what sort of career path Jackie has when P!nk decides to retire: Who Knew nipple pincher was an actual job?

Liverpudlian Sir Paul McCartney is a renowned animal-rights supporter, and his rider demands reflect this - despite hit Ebony and Ivory featuring valuable and protected resources. Nothing that is or looks to be derived from animals is permitted, even if it’s artificial, and he wants halogen floor lamps with a dimmer switch, presumably so his carbon Footprints are smaller.

Rhianna doesn’t want a California King Bed, but does insist on a white, blue and black colour scheme, muted lighting and a clean animal print throw rug for barefoot walking. We think she must like the way it lies on the floor.

(See what we did there?)

Taylor Swift will expect her Starbucks order to be ready and waiting if arriving before 11am.

Californian rock band Van Halen famously demanded a bowl of M&Ms, with all the brown candies removed. Bet the venue Jumped to it!

Not so sure about the request for KY Jelly however.

But perhaps the best tour rider in superstar history comes from Iggy Pop. A full 18-page list of demands from 2006 included:

Biscuits are a staple of British culture, due undoubtedly to the undying love for tea which burns in the heart of most Brits. Everybody has their preference, one they hold dear above all the rest.

While it is near enough impossible to come to a unanimous decision, this writer has endeavoured to put his personal favourites to the test – to uncover which one ultimately reigns supreme, based on various aspects which make a truly good biscuit.

(Now, I know what you’re thinking – where’s the rich tea?

The custard cream? The goddamn Jaffa Cake? Well, controversially, this writer isn’t a fan of any of these household names.

So if you have any gripes, apologies. Feel free to write in and complain.)

Chocolate between chocolate.

Simple, but effective.

Quite thick, but on the slender side.

Sure they’ll be many readers squirming over the naming of this category. The middle layer of chocolate prevents a dry mouth.

Creates a temporary hot chocolate, and holds up well against the heat.

Once you realise they have to be eaten with the chocolate side facing down, you can’t go wrong.

They don’t come much bigger.

A wide circular shape, with respectable thickness.

A regular Digestive is a dry mess, but the added chocolate saves it.

The Digestive’s size works against it here, leading to the dreaded “bite a bit off so it can fit in the mug” malarkey.

The jam is bold, and not for everyone.

But I respect that boldness, and salute it for being different in a biscuit world dominated by mundanity (that’s right, I’m looking at you Malted Milk).

Pretty standard size.

The jam filling quells any possibility of dryness.

Contentious. But jam mixing with tea or hot chocolate just isn’t on.

Many a pack has been torn through in one sitting, normally in record time.

Like the Dodger, this biscuit is smaller in size but makes up for it with a more populous pack.

The chips offer islands of hope, but the base offers no relief for dry mouth sufferers.

Soft, but still sturdy.

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Joe Wicks, aka The Body Coach, is a British fitness coach who has turned his personal training business into a bestselling book and a social media craze in the space of just four years. With his latest book ‘30 Minute Meals’ out in September, Joe reveals to us his tips for cheap and quick fitness, as well as his must-try meals...

could you tell us a little bit about your story and how you’ve achieved such success?

I just started posting short ‘Lean in 15’ videos online, and it took off from there. We’re all busy people, so I wanted to post videos which were honest and realistic to get people eating lean foods and exercising more. I could never have imaged that one day I would be talking about my sixth book. I started off with Lean in 15 recipes, but sometimes 15 minutes isn’t enough; that’s why I’ve come up with the 30 Minute Meals.

What are your best eating healthier and working out tips?

Prep like a Boss! Sometimes when you get home from a long day, you just want to be able to have food quickly.

If you take some time to prepare some healthy meals, and pop them in the fridge or freezer, you’ll have no excuse to eat unhealthily. That’s one of the perks of 30 Minute Meals: the recipes all taste incredible, but don’t take long to make. For working out, all it takes is 20-30 minutes a couple of times a week. Even if you’re tired, some quick HIIT (high-intensity interval training) will give you lots more energy.

Do you have strict rules when it comes to your diet, or is it important to not be so hard on yourself?

You should never be hard on yourself.

I always try to make my meals lean, but I treat myself from time to time.

Diets don’t work. You need to eat food which isn’t boring but also tastes great and is good for you.

That’s why I’ve packed 30 Minute Meals with loads of tasty recipes – Bangin’ Chicken Balti, Kofta-stuffed Romano peppers – those will make you want to change how you eat!

What would be your advice to students who are struggling with having enough time and money to eat healthily and exercise?

I wanted to create recipes which you can make quickly and don’t cost too much. I always feel much better after having a home cooked meal, so I wanted to make it easy for other people to be able to do it. Eating a good meal gives you new energy. If you’re short on time, even if you get a 20 minute HIIT workout in at the start of the morning, it will set you up for the rest of the day. You’ll find you’re more likely to eat healthier food for the rest of the day, too.

What is your favourite recipe from your latest book ‘30 Minute Meals’ and why?

The Masala Eggy Bread from the All-Day Breakfast section of the book tastes amazing; you’ve got all your spices in there.

Serve it up with a quick tomato relish. It doesn’t cost a lot to make either, which is a bonus. That’ll set you right for the morning.

Melt half of the coconut oil in a large frying pan over a medium to high heat, then add the chopped garlic and cook for 30 seconds. Add the kale, courgette 1 tbsp coconut oil and midget trees and fry, stirring 2 cloves garlic, finely chopped regularly, for three minutes. Pour the hot 200g kale, thick stalks removed stock into the pan with the greens.

1â „2 courgette, trimmed and cut Reduce the heat to medium and cook into half-moons for five minutes, stirring every now and 125g midget trees (tenderstem again. In the meantime, heat the broccoli), thick stalks remaining oil in a frying pan over a high cut in half lengthways heat, and gently lay in the steaks.

150ml hot chicken stock Cook the steaks for four minutes on each 2 sirloin steaks side, turning them regularly as they cook. salt Move the steaks to a plate to rest 30g tahini and season them with salt. Check the 3 tsp sesame oil vegetables are just tender, then take the 2 red chillies, de-seeded and pan off the heat. Mix the tahini with the finely chopped sesame seeds, to sesame oil in a small bowl. Serve up the serve greens topped with the sliced steak, red chilli, sesame seeds and a drizzle of the sesame and tahini dressing.

2 large sweet potatoes (600g), scrubbed clean 2 tsp olive oil Salt and black pepper 40ml rice vinegar 2g caster sugar 1 red chilli, de-seeded and finely sliced 1⁄4 red onion, finely sliced 1⁄4 cucumber (80g), de-seeded and cut into thin half-moons 2 x 200g skinless and boneless cod fillets. Or try any white fish / chicken 30g tikka masala curry paste 2 burger buns To serve 1 tbsp fat-free Greek yoghurt 1 tomato, thinly sliced 1 tbsp coriander, chopped Preheat the oven to 200°C (fan 180°C/gas mark 6). Cut each sweet potato in half lengthways, then cut into eight long, thin wedges and scatter over one layer on a baking tray. Drizzle over the olive oil along with a good pinch of salt, toss to mix then roast in the oven for 25 minutes.

Mix together the rice vinegar, sugar, red chilli, onion and cucumber in a small bowl and leave to steep, giving it a mix every now and then.

Coat the cod fillets in the curry paste then place onto a baking tray lined with parchment and roast in the oven for 15 minutes, by which time they should be just cooked through. When the fish has only five minutes to go, cut the buns in half and place in the oven to toast. To build the burger, spread a little yoghurt onto two bun halves, load up with sliced tomato, lay the fish on top, then scatter the cucumber mix over (drain off the excess vinegar). Finish with the coriander and squash the remaining bun halves on top. Serve with the sweet potato fries.

Possibly the most photogenic way of enjoying potatoes whilst putting little effort into the preparation.

Hasselback potatoes are just baking potatoes which have been sliced thinly but not straight through. This way, they stay intact and resemble a crispy flip book. They’re great drizzled with oozy cheese or a simple sprinkle of salt.

Either way, they taste fantastic.

I’m sorry, isn’t the skin normally the part we avoid? Not when they’re cooked like this! After baking your large potato, you essentially scoop out the fluffy innards and mash with parsley, grated cheese, some chopped bacon and some seasoning to create a new and improved potato filling which you will refill the skins with. Placing them back in the oven again until crispy is the perfect way to avoid a soggy potato skin!

The grater wasn’t created just for your excessive use of cheese! Many find the texture a little unusual on the tongue at first, but once you’ve discovered the crispiness and the options to add your own seasoning and spices to your grated potato balls before frying, you’ll never look back again.

It’s surprising how many people opt for buying frozen chips or wedges at the supermarket instead of making their own. Pick your potato, cut your shape (we recommend chunky), and choose your own seasoning.

Keeping the skins on makes them taste even better, so there’s no need to waste time peeling.

Have you ever wondered what to do with those leftover new potatoes?

Whatever you do, don’t let them go in the bin. Heat up and fry some garlic and butter in a frying pan, and fry your sliced new potatoes to create a whole new meal with leftovers. No potato should ever be wasted.

Dessert is pretty fantastic as it is – but so is alcohol. So it only makes sense to combine the two and create perhaps a dessert made in heaven.

Here are a few ways you can add that little something extra to your desserts...

Brownies are pretty irresistible as they are, but why not spice up the standard brownie recipe by adding a little dash of rum. Or maybe get inventive and create a sticky caramel rum sauce to drizzle over them?

Corrupt a childhood classic by infusing it with cake flavoured vodka!

The best part about this one is you can do it with any flavour of milkshake you like! Vodka comes in plenty of flavours if you shop around but birthday cake flavoured in an Oreo milkshake has to be our favourite.

I class my hot chocolates as a desert if I can’t find anything else to satisfy my sweet tooth. With a little orange liquor and a dash of brandy you can create a deliciously warming cup of zesty hot chocolate which might just go straight to your head.

Remember those plastic ice lolly moulds you bought and never used?

Now is the time. Blend your red wine with some cherries and pour it into the moulds and freeze to create some boozy ice lollies which are bound to give you that red wine hangover.

Take that standard glass of cola (or beer) and add a shot of bourbon, a dash of Irish cream, and a large dollop of whisky ice cream in the top to create a frothy desert drink. Why not go all out and drizzle over some of that sticky caramel rum sauce you made?

For those who aren’t too big on sugar, don’t worry – we haven’t forgotten you! This couldn’t really be any simpler. Instead of boring old fruit juice, why not spike it with some fruit liquor? Plus whatever you have leftover you can use for a sangria!

What student doesn’t enjoy mixing together a deadly concoction of alcoholic drinks and watching their mate down it? Here are some awesome drinking games which involve a classic dirty pint...

This classic dirty pint game is played like so: A glass is placed in the middle of all the players, who take turns pouring a certain amount of their drink into the glass. (Everyone should have a different drink of different strengths.) The person who pours must then flip a coin and call whether it will be heads or tails. If they guess correctly, the game moves on to the next person who then repeats the process. If a person calls incorrectly, they must down the contents of the glass and then the game will start again. The longer the game goes on without incorrectly calling heads or tails, the crazier the drink will become.

A classic drinking game which you can incorporate the dirty pint into!

Have your mates all sit close together and create a dirty pint using a little of everyone’s drink (they should all be different). Now someone must ask a ‘Who’s most likely’ question - e.g. “Who’s most likely to lose their phone?”, or whatever comes to mind. On the count of three, everyone will point at the person in the circle who they think is most likely. They are the one who must down the dirty pint.

This game is for those with a simple sense of humour! Sit in a circle and create a dirty pint to place in the middle. Everyone in the circle must now write a sentence on a piece of paper. What kind of sentence? A ridiculously inappropriate sentence, which anyone would struggle to hear without laughing. Each player takes it in turns to take a piece of paper and read the sentence out loud without laughing or smiling. If they fail, they down the dirty pint!

We all know this game! But for the ones who don’t... players stand either end of a large table with multiple drinks set out in front of them in a triangle shape. Using ping pong balls, players take turns to bounce the ball into one of the other player’s cups. If they succeed, that player must down the contents! A real classic, which can be made a lot more interesting if you replace regular beer with a classic dirty pint...

Food for when you feel as rough as a badger’s bum hole.

Everyone needs at least one go-to dish when they’re hungover and need to start functioning like a human being again.

Fried food helps with this, and it’s all thanks to science. Here’s how...

These things will help when you just want to put a dimmer switch on the world and go back to bed. They’re also quick, delicious and easy; exactly what you need.

It’s warm. It’s got carbs. It’s what you need in your life right now.

Cook the macaroni, drain, and set aside.

Melt the butter on a gentle heat and stir in the flour until you get a sort of paste. Whisk in the milk a little bit at a time until you have a smooth sauce called a “roux”. Stir in a handful of cheese, and then you’ll have a cheese sauce. Mix with the macaroni, and put in an oven dish. Add the rest of the cheese on top, and bake in the oven until melty and a bit brown on the top.

Add a bit of mustard to the sauce to bring the flavour out!

Fried matzo is probably the best thing in the world, apart from David Attenborough’s voice and soft-scoop ice cream.

Break the matzo into pieces and stick it in a sieve. Run under the tap for a bit, but not so much that they get soggy just a bit wet. Beat the eggs in a bowl and then mix it all together. Season well.

Fry in a big pan with butter. The matzo will try to become an omelette, but break it up with a spoon so that it doesn’t. It’s cooked when the pieces of egg are a bit brown and there is no raw egg visible.

Serve with lots of butter.

Add more butter. Everyone loves butter.

Everyone loves pancakes. If your friends don’t like pancakes, stop being friends with them. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.

3 Ingredients; 1 delicious recipe.

Mix everything together until it’s smooth.

Fry them.

Serve with lemon and sugar.

Don’t serve these with Nutella, jam, or any other nonsense.

If you’re thinking, even thinking, about having a savoury pancake, then please go and take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror.

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Charlie is juggling uni with at least one small child, which is admirable.

She’ll normally be rushing into lectures five minutes after they have started, mumbling some excuse about little Jimmy’s recorder lessons.

The lecturer will nod understandably, in stark contrast to the frosty glare you’ll get for turning up halfway through the seminar in your pyjamas.

Charlie is great fun in the pub, but remember: she needs to pick the kids up at five so she can get their spaghetti hoops on the go.

Someone’s mum, making her instantly good at mum stuff – like knowing how to fill in forms, or generally looking after herself and not falling apart.

If you can manage to look a bit neglected, she may take pity on you and bring you a shepherd’s pie.

Depending on how good your actual mum is, you may find yourself preferring Charlie.

Peering through reading glasses, Retired Richard looks over the course material with a discerning eye.

He used to work in the city as a financial-something-or-other, but that was years ago. Now he’s retired, and he’s back at university to do something he’s always wanted to do; probably English Literature, or Medieval History.

Richard will spend a lot of the time in the library trying to figure out how the computers work. Be kind and give him a hand, because he also takes proper, serious notes in lectures and seminars – most likely with a fountain pen. So if you doze off, smile nicely and ask to borrow his.

After years in business, Richard has great contacts. Ask him for help when planning your first “proper” job.

You never know, he might pull some strings for you...

Will begin every email with “I hope this correspondence finds you well.”

With enough wodges of cash to pay his fees up front, Lional has decided to take a career sabbatical from his grown-up job and get an MA, or something.

Wearing clothes which cost more than your net worth, Lional is self-assured and confident. And by self-assured and confident, I mean insufferably smug.

Always gets his round in.

And indeed, several other people’s rounds.

Trying to keep up with his drinking will turn your liver into foie gras, which coincidentally is Lional’s favourite ‘snackeroo’.

Poor Hattie; for whatever reason, she didn’t get a chance to go to uni at 18.

There will be a story behind this.

She will tell you. Don’t try to fight it.

The result of this is that she is as keen as a doggo in a sausage factory, shooting her hand up to ask as many questions as possible during every seminar. Depending on your lecturer, they will either take this as a compliment to their wisdom, or grind their teeth in frustration.

Asks lots of questions, helping everyone learn.

Asks lots of questions, annoying everyone.

Ok, he might be ten years older than you, but that doesn’t mean he’s no fun. Dan is clinging on to the last possible sheds of his golden youth. All of his friends have moved on and got jobs, married and had kids.

But there he is, in a faded Iron Maiden T-shirt, downing a bite of snakebite in the union pub at 11am. He’s come back to finish his PHD. That’s the official reason, but it’s more like he’s going back to the one place where life used to make sense.

And he’s got his eye on you for a new drinking buddy.

After years of experience, Dan knows where all the best pubs are, and which local bands are actually any good. He’s also bizarrely free literally any night of the week.

If you’re not careful, Dan will be your future. Beware.

In small amounts, jealousy is healthy between you and your partner.

However, high levels of jealousy can drag you down and tear your relationship apart. Curbing feelings of jealously aren’t always easy, but it’s essential if you want your relationship to move forward.

Jealousy in relationships stems from your own insecurities and low selfworth. You may have fears of being abandoned or rejected. What can you do? Fake it until you make it! Act confidently and make decisions as a confident person – you’ll start to notice that your confidence really is improving! Be confident in your partner and understand that they love and respect you, and if they don’t, then you should consider moving on to someone who does.

Paranoia can play a massive part in jealousy as it has the ability to make you assume the worst. You end up reacting to a completely made up scenario in your head which may never happen at all. This paranoia is what triggers jealousy; if you can overcome paranoia, you can prevent jealousy.

Perhaps your partner has a close friend of the opposite sex, or an ex-partner they still speak to. It’s important to identify exactly what it is that makes you jealous so that you can then work out why it makes you jealous. If you understand your feelings, it makes them easier to deal with.

It’s your trust being broken in the past which has affected your ability to trust now. Leaving the past and focusing on the present is what it’s really all about! If your partner has never given you a reason to not trust them – then you shouldn’t have anything to worry about. Assume the best of your partner, not the worst.

Don’t react negatively towards feelings of jealousy. Making accusations and being bitter towards your partner isn’t going to get either of you anywhere. Instead, react positively and do the complete opposite; if you see your partner talking with someone of the opposite sex, join in the conversation and be upbeat! You’ll feel much better for it and people will know you’re in a happy relationship.

We’re all guilty of putting off important tasks and chores occasionally. It’s not always serious, but when it interferes with work or education, it can be a pain. SPG have come up with the best ways to help you defeat procrastination once and for all.

MOVE AROUND. Staying in the same spot all day results in your brain wandering far away. Getting up and moving around keeps you focused on the task at hand. Get off your butt, do some exercise and give your brain time to return from whatever crazy places it’s been.

SET REMINDERS. Set alarms on your phone which regularly remind you that you should be working. The trick is to make your phone your worst enemy, as it makes you feel guilty for not doing the work you should be. Eventually it will come to the point where you’re tired of being reminded!

WAKE UP EARLY. As a student, waking up early isn’t the easiest thing to do. But being wide awake at 9am instead of rolling out of bed at 2:30pm means you’ll have more hours in your day to get stuff done, while still doing the things you enjoy!

STUDY BUDDY. Do your work with someone else in the same boat as you. You’re less likely to let yourself down if it means letting down your friend too. You’ll motivate each other, and you can make it somewhat a ‘study date’, where you bring snacks to keep your energy levels up.

TURN OFF SOCIAL MEDIA. Switch your phone off and leave it at home. Study somewhere far away from it where you won’t be tempted to pick it up and distract yourself!

Social media is tempting at times of boredom, but it only makes completing work more difficult and time consuming!

TIME YOURSELF. Tell yourself that in 30 minutes, X amount of paragraphs should have been completed. Challenging yourself will keep you motivated and focused.

GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK. We’re only human, after all. A short break every 30 minutes will help you refocus, and have you feeling fresh and motivated when you return to your work.

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