The Strand | Volume 61, Issue 9

the

STRAND the love and sex issue VICTORIA UNIVERSITY’S STUDENT NEWSPAPER VOLUME 61, ISSUE 9 | 12 FEBRUARY 2019

Beyond romance editorial | page 4

Date The Strand features | page 8

Feminine singular arts | page 12

02 NEWS

EDITOR | NICHOLAS FREER NEWS@THESTRAND.CA

Vic administration “keeping cards close to chest” in Ryerson renaming effort VUSAC Vice President-External speaks on reconciliation effort NICHOLAS FREER NEWS EDITOR

On February 4, Jayde Jones and Devon Wilton, the President and Vice-President External of the Victoria University Students’ Administrative Council (VUSAC), submitted a proposal to rename the Ryerson residence building at Lower Burwash Hall and the Ryerson Vic One stream.

In 1847, Egerton Ryerson, previously a principal at Vic, wrote, “it is a fact established… that the North American Indian cannot be civilized or preserved in a state of civilization… except in connection with… not only religious instruction and sentiment but of religious feelings.” The instruction to which Ryerson referred was the establishment of what he called “industrial schools” but which would eventually evolve into residential schools. Ryerson’s advocation was instrumental in convincing Sir John A. Macdonald to establish the residential school system, which separated Indigenous children from their families and subjected them to what the UN has called a “cultural genocide.”

Wilton, who spearheaded the proposal, campaigned on the issue and feels the renaming of the Ryerson building and Ryerson stream to be within his mandate: “The goals of the

project are to take a look at what Vic is doing in terms of their part in that whole landscape and hopefully to take a step back and make some tangible changes as to how it is interacting with that.”

However, Vic’s administration has largely been ambivalent toward the proposal. So far, Liz Taylor, the Communications Officer of Victoria University’s Office of Alumni Affairs & Advancement, has stated that Victoria University “welcomes the report” and that “academic and administrative leaders look forward to working together to examine the important questions raised in the report.” Victoria University administrative leaders have not yet committed to the September 1 deadline put forward in the proposal. Wilton said that “the interaction with the governance has been a learning experience. It’s not something that’s ever been done before.” The proposal will need to be voted on by the Senate of Victoria University before any confirmation can be made. Nevertheless, Wilton told The Strand, “I think it can happen; I think it should happen.”

The Renaming Ryerson proposal was put together throughout the fall 2018 semester and was informed by consultations via email with the Indigenous Studies Students’ Union (ISSU), the Indigenous Education Network (IEN),

the Centre for Indigenous Studies, and First Nations House.

Joshua Bowman, ISSU president, is noted as having significant input. Bowman had not replied to The Strand’s request for comment in time for publication.

When asked what else VUSAC had planned in terms of furthering Indigenous reconciliation efforts on campus, Wilton said, “for VUSAC [this year] this [proposal] has been the centre of the work,” and “these are some of the most concrete changes that VUSAC can make and take as a focus.” The purpose of the change is to increase access to the campus and post-secondary education for Indigenous students and other minority groups. Wilton hoped the change, along with the proposed consultation on what the name would be changed to, will provoke further initiatives and efforts in the future.

There are currently no Indigenous members of VUSAC. Renaming Ryerson was supported unanimously when voted on by VUSAC. The proposal notes that VUSAC is “Victoria College’s elected student government representing its more than 3,300 students.” A petition has been launched in support of the proposal. As of February 9, it has gained 129 signatures. Nevertheless, it is now left to the administrative staff and the Senate of Victoria University to decide what will happen to the remnants of Ryerson’s legacy at Vic.

The rise of superbug gonorrhea

Gonorrhea is becoming resistant to last known effective treatments JIAWEN CHEN STAFF WRITER

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| MIA CARNEVALE

Gonorrhea is currently easily treatable with antibiotics. Emerging antibiotic resistance may soon change that.

Gonorrhea is a common sexually transmitted infection (STI) caused by the bacterium Neisseria gonorrhoeae that infects the throat, genitals, and rectum. Many cases are asymptomatic, but symptoms can include burning or discomfort when urinating, abnormal bleeding between periods, and swollen testicles.

If left untreated, it can cause infertility. Gonorrhea can also be passed to newborns during vaginal birth and cause blindness in the baby.

Breaking the last line of defence Dr. Vanessa Allen, the chief of medical microbiology at Public Health Ontario, told The Strand, “[W]e have currently exhausted all but one of the widely available antimicrobials … to reliably treat gonorrhea. Pills alone are no longer reliable.” An injection called ceftriaxone is the remaining option.

Unfortunately, recent reports from the World Health Organization (WHO), the European Centre for Disease Prevention and Control, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), and the British Association for Sexual Health and HIV (BASHH) show developing resistance to the last WHO-recommended treatment for gonorrhea: a dual antibiotic therapy of azithromycin and ceftriaxone.

The first North American case of ceftriaxone-resistant gonorrhea was reported in Quebec in 2017. Fully resistant strains have already been reported in Europe in 2019.

“There have been a few case reports of ceftriaxone-resistant gonorrhea in Canada in 2018; all of these to the best of our knowledge were directly imported from Asia,” said Allen.

Without effective antimicrobial remedies, the treatment for gonorrhea would return to what it was in the 1930s, when patients were hospitalized and “given mechanical and heat treatments to try to get rid of the infection,” which were not always effective.

“It is important to note that we are seeing a surge of disseminated infections with gonorrhea in Ontario and elsewhere in Canada, where the bacteria is causing infections of the blood and joints,” added Allen. “It is causing more severe complications and is more difficult to treat.”

Changing treatments With azithromycin resistance increasing in Europe, the UK has changed its recommended treatment for gonorrhea. The newlyreleased 2019 BASHH guideline for gonorrhea no longer recommends azithromycin and instead recommends an increased dose of ceftriaxone.

The latest Canadian guideline (from 2013) recommends treatments including both azithromycin and ceftriaxone.

Fast development of resistance Neisseria gonorrhoeae develops resistance faster than other STIs because of its biology, which allows the bacteria to pick up genes that resist antibiotics more easily and retain these genes between generations. Unfortunately, the global treatment strategy of using a single, near-universally effective drug to prevent the spread of potential infection has also contributed to the speed of sequentially developed resistance to previously effective drugs, says Allen.

Prevention Researchers and health organizations worldwide continue to search for new drugs and treatments, and strive to better understand the development of antimicrobial resistance.

Allen added that proposed strategies for the future include more specific diagnoses that allow for different drugs to be used when possible. That way, there is less selective pressure put on

the bacteria by one drug.

Using protection during intercourse is the best way to prevent the spread of gonorrhea, including antibiotic-resistant strains.

It is also important to be tested for gonorrhea and abstain from sex during treatment. Infection of the throat is particularly difficult to treat because it usually presents no symptoms and is not always cured by ceftriaxone, according to Allen.

Free condoms can be found at many locations on campus, such the Arts and Science Student Union (ASSU), outside the VUSAC office at Victoria College, and the Sexual Education Centre (SEC). They can also be found at sexual health clinics around Toronto, including Planned Parenthood Toronto on 36 Prince Arthur Avenue. These clinics, along with the UofT Health and Wellness Centre, also provide STI testing and other sexual health services.

NEWS 03

@STRANDPAPER THE STRAND | 12 FEBRUARY 2019

OSAP cuts and student activism at Queen’s Park An in-depth look at opposition politicians on PC changes to post-secondary funding ALEX BYRNE-KRZYCKI CONTRIBUTOR

Since the Government of Ontario announced its cut to tuition and student fees on January 17, a series of protests have taken place at Queen’s Park and around the province, organized by students and aligned organizations. However, the story of rising tuition fees and of how secondary education has become so expensive is a longer narrative, one which answers a question that many students have been asking: what can be done about it?

The Progressive Conservative-led government’s reasoning for January’s changes to grants, loans, and the mandated tenpercent tuition cut is clear. The previous Liberal government’s action to cap tuition increases, consolidating previous OSAP grants into a new OSAP program, was on track to cost upwards of two billion dollars per year according to Ontario’s Auditor General. The Ford government came to power on a promise of reduced spending and finding efficiencies to fight the deficit, so when the Auditor General reported last fall that the program had gone wildly over budget, the government justified reforming OSAP to cut costs, while claiming to recognize that there exist long-term issues related to the drastically increasing cost of post-secondary education. In its news release announcing the changes, the government stated that institutions were being subsidized in part by OSAP and claimed that there was no appreciable improvement to post-secondary accessibility over the same time frame. The solution was a simple ten-percent acrossthe-board cut to tuition fees in all programs. This contrasts with the Liberal government’s previous strategy, which capped tuition fee increases on a year-over-year basis. The original 30 percent tuition cut that was rolled out in 2012 was expanded to cover more students in 2014, including students in their final year of a five-year co-op program and students attending private career colleges and other private post-secondary institutions that were eligible for OSAP. Eventually, this led to the introduction of the new OSAP program as part of the 2015 Ontario Budget, which was designed to provide more money to low-income students while being revenue-neutral.

At a town hall held last week at Innis College, MPP Chris Glover, NDP Critic for Training and Universities, explained the situation and why the program’s increase in cost was likely a good thing: “It was supposed to be revenue neutral, so they didn’t expect to pay any more money out of the government revenue, but the Auditor General’s report showed that it was actually about a billion dollars more than the government had to put into OSAP.” “What this meant to me was actually a good thing because this meant that more low and middle income students were getting the financial support that they need, so if this had continued, they would probably graduate with lower debt. The debt is an incredible burden for students, so I think that the program was working better than anticipated, but that’s now going to be taken away.”

Glover has found an ally in former Premier Kathleen Wynne, who has cited OSAP’s expansion, over 13,000 single mothers were able to receive free tuition. In a scrum held the day of the announcement, Wynne said, “I know that the government is trying to reframe the tuition cuts as good news.

That’s what will help the wealthiest students because it’s an across-the-board cut for all the other things that they are doing because there isn’t an equal offset, so that tuition cut isn’t going to make up for losing the grants that lower income students get.”

The current provincial government, however, has gone on to find an alternative to make up for the shortfall in grants and loans to students: cutting student fees.

The Ford government has had an easier time justifying the cut with the recent story broken by Ryerson’s The Eyeopener, which alleges its university’s student union has misspent over 250,000 dollars. This is not the first story about the misappropriation of student funds in the past several years. Notably, there was a lawsuit filed by the University of Toronto Students’ Union against its former Executive Director Sandra Hudson for approximately 277,000 dollars of overtime, which was settled out of court in 2017. Examples like these have made it easy for the premier to attack student fees and the groups that collect them. In response to a CBC story reporting on The Eyeopener’s findings, Ford tweeted: “I’ve heard from so many students who are tired of paying excessive fees, only to see them wasted and abused. That’s why we’re giving students the power to choose to pay for the campus services they actually use.”

The irony of this idea is that student papers like The Eyeopener, which break the kinds of stories Ford has used as

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justification, are funded by the student fees which will become optional.

In response to the changes, NDP Education Critic Marit Stiles said that while the party is doing what they can, students need to mobilize and to call and write to their MPPs. “They need to feel the pressure; this isn’t just about current voters but future voters and they [the Ford Government] need to hear that loud and clear.”

To that end, external groups like March For Our Education and Students for Ontario have sprung up in recent weeks.

These groups have organized student rallies at Queen’s Park and Toronto City Hall to put pressure on the Ontario PCs. One organizer, Aiman Akmal, has been concerned about changes coming to OSAP since the provincial campaign. She reached out to Progressive Conservative candidate, now MPP, Effie J. Triantafilopoulos, during the election period, asking if a Progressive Conservative government would make cuts to OSAP. In response, the campaign issued the statement: “Our plan is to keep the current program, no decreases. Our plan for savings is to find inefficiencies in government, we are committed to maintaining the programs that Ontario students rely on.”

Triantafilopoulos’ comments rang a little hollow for Aiman, who, at a student protest on February 4, said, “We are not inefficiencies. Providing higher education access to low income students with financial barriers is not an inefficiency.”

Akmal has been working with her friends to organize some of

| HANA NIKCEVIC

the protests and to energize students. As well, Akmal has been working to deliver her message to her MPP, despite her MPP not having a constituency office until late last year.

It remains to be seen if these student groups will be able to keep their organizational momentum as midterm exams creep closer and the Legislature returns after Family Day weekend.

All political parties are looking to reach young voters and engage them in the 2022 election. While higher turnout numbers tend to favour more progressive parties, Ontario’s decidedly Conservative election last June defied the trend by having the highest turnout in two decades.

The lack of voter turnout among young people hurt the NDP in the lead-up to the campaign, according to NDP campaign chief Michael Balagus. At a forum held by Ryerson University last year, he stated: “The NDP is not going to win an election until young people vote in this province.” Liberal strategist David Herle has also expressed difficulty with engaging young voters. Herle came under fire last year with Young Liberal campaign organizers and staffers for comments he made on youth disengagement in politics, claiming that youth are not involved in politics because they are busy “living young people lives.” With three and a half years until the next provincial election, it remains to be seen if opposition to the OSAP cuts will hurt Doug Ford at the ballot box, or if the changes will be accepted by parents and students as the new norm for post-secondary education in Ontario.

04 EDITORIAL

EDITORS-IN-CHIEF | AINSLEY DOELL AND SABRINA PAPAS EDITOR@THESTRAND.CA

Beyond romance

the

Our editors discuss non-romantic loves in their lives

strand V O L U M E

EDITORS-IN-CHIEF

editor@thestrand.ca

6 1

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AINSLEY DOELL SABRINA PAPAS

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NEWS

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OPINIONS

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FEATURES

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REBECCA GAO

SCIENCE

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ARTS AND CULTURE

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HANA NIKCEVIC

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SOCIAL MEDIA

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SUMEETA FARRUKH, MENA FOUDA, ACTON KERREC, RACHEL LEGGETT, MICHAL LECKIE, WILFRED MOESCHTER,

MAX NISBETH, ANNA SOKOLOVA COPY EDITORS

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TANUJ ASH KUMAR, YILIN ZHU PHOTOS HANA NIKCEVIC COVER ILLUSTRATION MIA CARNEVALE

The Strand has been the newspaper of record for Victoria University since 1953. It is published 12 times a year with a circulation of 1200 and is distributed in Victoria University buildings and across the University of Toronto’s St. George campus.

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My best friend and I have been in a long-distance relationship since first year. Our friendship has had to adjust to the distance, whether she’s in Waterloo, Barrie, Calgary, or Haida Gwaii. In the past three and a half years, we’ve spent more time apart than together. When we do see each other, there is no pressure to exhaustively discuss every minute detail of what we’ve been up to. All that matters is that we’re together. Whether it’s through walking together to dates we’re nervous about, or just FaceTiming to watch our favourite movies, we will always be there for each other.

—Sabrina Papas, Editor-in-Chief I define family as anyone who feels permanent, whether they are chosen family, biological family, adoptive family, social family, or any other family. People feel permanent to me if they are there when I picture my future—some part of us is always already sharing a meal together in the golden candlelight of memories not yet materialized. What matters is not whether they actually end up at the table in 20 years, because in many ways they are already seated, passing steaming serving bowls that radiate warmth across the distance, the ring of a destined toast that echoes back to resonate in the present. It sounds like hope, and I recognize love in the reverberation.

—Tamara Frooman, Senior Copyeditor Baking a Dutch Baby (a large, fluffy pancake) in a castiron pan has been my treat of choice for years. I’ve become more liberal with my dusting of confectioners’ sugar and less high-strung about what 3/4 cups of butter actually looks like when melted—this is because baking is now a solace of mine. An activity with easily accessible resources, it both fulfills my perfectionist needs in sifting the accurate amount of sugar and forces my neurotic tendencies to calm down when recipes say to add a “pinch” of spice.

My chronic anxiety and clinical depression are often uncontrollable entities, and turning to baking at odd hours of the evening has allowed me to gain some stability. I can watch a project start and finish through an oven timer, and my mania is channeled into an apple galette without panic.

My disabilities can dissipate into a batch of lemon cookies.

—Georgia Lin, Opinions Editor Elizabeth Freeman theorizes that identity performance is similar to “an embodied temporal map.” Selfhood, she suggests, radically depends on citation. There is a photograph of me at three years old that I made my nana take. Stuffed animals, Barbie dolls, Disney VHS tapes, a soother—these objects form a circle on the ground. In the centre, I am lying down, in an Arthur t-shirt, staring affectionately at my nana behind the camera. I wanted to be seen with these

things—through them. The walls of my room today are covered with pictures: Dickinson, Manet’s Olympia, Beyoncé, Lebovitz’s Rolling Stone photos of Taylor Swift. I type this wearing a t-shirt with “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me” written on it. I see myself through citations.

I think of myself as a map of references to artifacts that I love. This particular non-romantic love is not only meaningful, but it is also the affect through which I imagine myself coming into being.

—Nate Crocker, Social Media Manager Anyone who knows me knows that I’ve had a rough few weeks. Along with the usual hectic rush of school and mental health dips that I experience this time of year, I’ve lost my job, I’ve had a slight family crisis, and I’m currently uncomfortably growing apart from my best friends. At the risk of sounding overly dramatic, everything really sucks right now. It’s so easy, especially when unexpected and crummy things happen, to neglect yourself. So of course I feel like I don’t deserve my own kindness right now: I lost my job, my friend group is breaking up, the world is a dumpster fire. I’m lucky to have a partner and friends and a family who love and support me, but taking the time to take stock of my feelings, learning how to sit with uncertainty, and understanding that it’s okay to feel bad when bad things happen has been crucial to my ability to stay afloat. I’m the only person that I have to live with for the rest of my life. It’s important that I love myself as much as I love others.

—Rebecca Gao, Features Editor During my first year, I developed an intense love for pop music and pop music culture. More specifically, I became a devoted fan of one Taylor Swift. This side of me felt like it came out of nowhere; fan culture had always utterly mystified me. So what happened? Looking back, I think it was a way of creating an artificial identity for myself. Not to say that my love for Taylor is artificial, but the intensity of my fandom certainly is. I’ve always been insecure about being interesting. I tend to see myself as lacking individuality and personality, and I constantly worry that I’m boring. Loving Taylor Swift and other pop culture figures became something I could lean back on when I didn’t know what else to say. Take my answers in “Date The Strand.” I was worried that I wasn’t interesting enough to answer the questions, so I answered them all with Taylor Swift references. Since I started listening to Taylor Swift, I’ve grown to feel more confident in myself and more secure about my identity. So thanks, Taylor, and happy Valentine’s Day! —Leo Morgenstern, Stranded Editor

OPINIONS 05

EDITOR | GEORGIA LIN OPINIONS@THESTRAND.CA

An ode to the love letter How do we articulate love?

CARLEIGH CAMPBELL CONTRIBUTOR

When I was younger, I was, of course, obsessed with Taylor Swift. I would listen to her music for hours at every sleepover with my friends, watch her music videos on loop, edit photos on Picnik with her lyrics written across my face. When I had MSN, my little description read: “It’s just wrong enough to make it feel right” with a heart emoji, as if those lyrics could ever pertain to the life of an 11-yearold. I would find a way to apply every song she sang to all of my crushes, like my swim instructor Michael, to whom the song “Back to December” was definitely never applicable. It’s not that I believe Taylor Swift writes revolutionary, emotional song lyrics; rather, it’s that I have always, always, always relied on words to carry me through.

Of course, we all rely on words in readings and writings, and in our everyday communications. But I have written before about how I fall in love with at least six people a day, and that is a hefty weight to carry around. Where I find solace, especially these days, is in my words and the words of others, as a means of guiding me through love and heartbreak. It is the most crucial, if not the only, way I cope with crowding emotions, as I am heavy with feelings most of the time.

Romance isn’t for everyone, but I have found that it is for me. I seem to find romance in every-

thing: it forms in my thoughts and imaginations. It is in my body and its movements, and it is in the things external to me. My favourite place to find it is in others, because it exists in them as it exists in me but yet also remains individual. Which is maybe why I fall in love so easily: each person brings to every relationship an individualism and a humanity that I am continually in awe of. Thoughts and feelings like these are hard to interpret and process within ourselves, which is where words come into play.

You know when you’re listening to a song or reading a poem or book or some string of words and it’s just so good? It’s exactly what you needed to hear in that moment, and you’re hit right in the chest, struck by one perfect articulation. Someone has created that—they have put together their words to share with you and you have felt them.

You have ingested and digested the thoughts and feelings of another and made them your own by applying your own histories to them. Words are relatable. To listen and feed off the words of another is sensuous—it’s erotic. Not necessarily in the sexual sense, but in the human connection breeding in the spaces where we come together to share words.

So when I say I have always relied on words, I certainly don’t mean the words themselves. It seems to be the ability to form a connection with someone through our articulations. To feel the same and form a relationship based on shared experiences and empathy. Even the words that we can’t apply

to our own stories carry with them the feelings that inspired them. The lost loves, the ones that stuck around, the ones that come and go, the crushes, the phases, the ones that are still there filling your beating heart.

Words are the vehicles through which we communicate about all types of love, but there’s something about that classic love poem or song. Maybe it’s because when you’re in love, it feels fiery and passionate first, perhaps comfortable later. Maybe it’s that all-encompassing, body-heavy, indescribable something-or-other. I feel like speaking those words into existence releases what you’ve internalized about those feelings. What makes romantic love painful, the parts of it that cause suffering— the unreciprocated feelings, the long distance, the communication issues, sometimes even being so in love it just hurts. Writing through them is what can alleviate some of that pain. It can be so healing to articulate it and to share it for others who might feel the same.

I guess all of this has been an ode to the love letter, in any form. An ode to the ability we have as humans to feel and feel hard, then share and connect and communicate through our feelings. Read and listen to the words about others that took minutes to write because it was easy, and the ones that took days because it was difficult. Read and listen, feel and write.

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| HANA NIKCEVIC

06 OPINIONS

EDITOR | GEORGIA LIN OPINIONS@THESTRAND.CA

Virginity is a social construct and “losing” it shouldn’t hurt When sexual pain becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy TAMARA FROOMAN SENIOR COPYEDITOR

ILLUSTRATION

| MIA CARNEVALE

Content Warning: sex, penetration, physical/psychological pain We need to challenge the rhetoric of pain surrounding first-time penetrative sex. Not because it’s incorrect, but because treating pain like an inevitable fact turns it into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I think we need to be careful about our assumptions relative to sex and how we transfer these assumptions onto younger generations.

Virginity is fundamentally a problematic concept, but when we anticipate pain during the process of “losing” it, we normalize pain for those on the receiving end of penetrative sex. In doing so, we accept the sacrifice of these bodies for the greater good of others. We tell these bodies they matter less. By characterizing pain as an expectation, we relegate specific bodies to paying a price for pleasure.

When we indoctrinate discourse with imagery of sex as rupture, as breakage, as popping, and when we tell young people your first time will hurt, we characterize pain as a promise and justify this pain as the price that must be paid. Articulating such pain as the norm is a dominant discourse that saturates our media culture. The stereotypical formula for virginity loss involves vaginal penetra-

tion by a penis and emphasizes a brief moment of agonizing, sharp, and searing pain, followed by a blissful and utopian pleasure undeniably worth the preceding physical suffering—and this is a pleasure extending for the rest of the sexual encounter and throughout all subsequent sexual encounters.

This oversimplification is so pervasive that it has altered the framework through which we understand sex. It is common to interrogate the happily-ever-after ushered in by a sexual encoun-

ter, but less common to interrogate the idea that painful sex once guarantees painless sex ever after.

This notion is problematic because it promotes the perception that a brief agonizing moment buys a lifetime of blissful sex, but also because it presumes that sex is necessarily painful in the first place.

The human body is composed of muscles, and muscles can expand—when they are properly stretched, relaxed, and, when sex is involved, lubricated. Whenever the body is involved, the physical is interconnected with the psychological, sometimes in unexpected ways. Psychological anxiety surrounding the expectation of pain can manifest physically, in tensed muscles. When this happens, it causes pain—a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Anxiety about the promise of pain is only one of many potential reasons sex might feel painful, and multiple reasons can occur simultaneously.

But when we normalize sexual pain, we teach people not to question its presence for any reason. In doing so, we then reduce the potential for objection or resistance because many people do not realize that things could be any different. By normalizing pain, we create a discursive trap that prevents change before it is given the chance to manifest, and this is how the myth of “normal pain” during penetrative sex continues to be perpetuated in society. We need to change how we think about sex and how we talk about sex—we shouldn’t just assume it will hurt, we should work to make sure it doesn’t.

How far we’ve come

Claiming your pleasure in a patriarchal society

RACHEL LEGGETT ASSOCIATE OPINIONS EDITOR

My first sexual experience was with a long-term partner who believed our orgasms were equally important. I naively believed my experience was common for heterosexual sex. When I was no longer in that relationship, I was left to navigate the world of casual sex on my own and discovered that not all men cared as much about my pleasure. It’s no secret that our patriarchal society values the pleasures of different genders with unfortunate disparity, but I still believed my pleasure would be treated equally.

Despite being warned about men refusing to go down on their partners, making the excuse that it was “too gross” or “unmanly” to do so, I couldn’t understand how anyone would care so little about their partner’s satisfaction.

The first time I had a partner like this, I didn’t realize it right away. Even after sleeping with him a few times and never coming anywhere near to an orgasm, I believed it was my own fault. Repeatedly feeling unfulfilled after sex left me frustrated, believing that my own body was just being temperamental. Finally, I decided to ask him to make me come. I was already embarrassed to ask this, feeling like a nuisance, and his confused response only validated these fears. He didn’t understand what I wanted from him. I asked what he did with his past girlfriends and he responded, “I don’t know, no one’s ever asked before.” In that moment, I realized the fault was not mine, but his. He was one of those people I’d only ever heard about, the kind I

hoped I would never run into. I realized then that he didn’t care about whether I came or not, much less about whether I left sex with a nagging feeling of inadequacy.

In a casual hookup, this feeling was irritating, but when I thought about the girlfriend he had for almost two years, I was filled with sadness. After having a partner who cared about my experience, I’m thankful that I was able to recognize that something was wrong and that I deserved better. I understand why many people are too uncomfortable or ashamed to point out that lack of caring in bed amounts to mistreatment, especially when they are not used to having their pleasure considered equally important by their partners.

The emphasis on heteronormative gender roles in our society turns these discussions of sexuality into highly gendered issues. Growing up, boys are encouraged to approach sexuality with an eagerness and openness not reflected in messaging targeted at young girls. Attitudes like “boys will be boys” perpetuate toxic masculinity rhetoric and give boys uninhibited permission to embrace their burgeoning sexuality while the opposite ideal is imposed on girls. Girls are encouraged to develop specific crushes by innocently doodling in notebooks rather than having a general interest in sex, which is instead considered a taboo that dons an automatic label of promiscuity. Such heteronormative roles force many women to experience their sexuality only in private, compared with the freedom enjoyed by men.

So, in our heteronormative culture, women’s

sexuality is forced to survive in secrecy. The way it sneaks under the radar makes it easier to ignore during the actual practice of sex. In heterosexual relationships, men are expected to be the one to ask women out, to initiate sex, to have their desire be the driving force in relationships. This focus on male sexuality marginalizes non-male desire and relegates it to a status of little importance. In the vulnerable and intimate act of sex, being thought of as secondary can deeply damage one’s confidence, especially considering the shame surrounding nonmale sexual pleasure that pervades our society.

Imagine sex as a duet: it is a performance that should involve give and take between performers, but in many cases, it instead features one person focusing only on their solo. Their partner is left vulnerable, overshadowed, and forgotten in the performance they should be enjoying. This is something no one deserves to feel. It can seem like a small thing, but these sexual inequalities have the potential to be more harmful when they happen so repeatedly. Rather than seeing situations like these as unconnected instances, it is important to understand the underlying patriarchal framework they stem from and perpetuate. To those who have been responsible for this imbalance, remember that complacency can be just as damaging as toxic masculinity in disregarding a partner’s pleasure.

It shouldn’t be our responsibility to change their behaviour, but when faced with people who simply don’t care, remember that your current partner is not your only option. You are worthy of someone who will give you the orgasm you deserve.

OPINIONS 07

@STRANDPAPER THE STRAND | 12 FEBRUARY 2019

Do you like love?

An interview with two fourth-year Vic students GEORGIA LIN OPINIONS EDITOR

What’s your current relationship status, and do you enjoy it?

A: I am in a long-term committed relationship, and I thoroughly enjoy it. I’m very happy.

N: I’m single, and I enjoy it because of the freedom. I’m also afraid of commitment.

How has dating, casual or long-term, as a student impacted your overall experience in university? Has it impacted your academics?

A: If you look at my transcript, you can see the exact peaks and valleys of my relationships from my first two years at university because they were flaming disasters. In my current relationship, I feel like it’s been on such an even keel for so long that I feel very stable, so it’s allowed me to spend less energy focusing on the area of my life that took up so much of my time in first year. So because I’ve just been very happy and content in that area, I’ve been able to spend that energy on other things, which has been very nice.

N: Stepping into a new environment [in university] and learning how to date has helped me grow as a person and realize who I am, my likes and dislikes. However, because I’m more into casual dating, I don’t think it has really affected my grades or extracurricular activities and how involved I am with them. I schedule dates around any assignments I have due and my extracurriculars commitments, that’s just kind of how I go about it.

A: It’s easy when you’re never emotionally invested. [Laughs] What are you most afraid of in relationships during your early 20s?

A: I think my biggest fear has changed a lot since my very first relationship, which was in first year. I didn’t really know what I was doing. I think my biggest fear was losing that relationship, and I did everything I could to keep it going, but it wasn’t a healthy situation. I think that was my biggest fear back then and in relationships I had after that, but in my current relationship I think my biggest fear

is the future. Being in fourth year is a very uncertain time, not knowing if you’re going to grad school, where you’ll be or where you’re going to be living after graduation. It’s difficult to be in a stable relationship because you don’t know if you might have to separate for a while or be living in different places, and that can be scary when you think you know you’re with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. It can be a scary thought knowing that you might have to make a decision between furthering your relationship or furthering your education.

N: I think it’s a bit of a mix of everything. I’m really in this kind of a pivotal moment in my life, I’m just about to finish fourth year, and I don’t know what I’m doing after graduation. I don’t know if I’m even going to stay in the city. I’m afraid to commit to somebody and then become too attached to the point where I want to stay, even if it’s not what’s best for me, or if it’s going to be something that is preventing me from pursuing what I want to do.

A: I think it’s interesting how we both have a similar fear of not wanting to feel like you’re ever making a decision that’s not the best thing for yourself, even though I am in a really committed relationship and that’s a main reason why you don’t want to have a committed relationship. It’s a tough spot to be in.

G: It’s a very similar fear, but in two very different situations.

How open are you about sharing your relationship, whether in person or online? Are you conscious of privacy or of people knowing the details of your relationship?

A: I’ve only ever dated people in the Vic bubble, which is an unfortunate thing, but it’s just the reality of my life. I feel like every single time I’ve gotten together with someone or gone through a breakup, it has been very public.

That kind of makes me sound like a public figure, but I’m not! [Laughs] In the Vic bubble, everyone talks about each other, so any time two people in the bubble get into a relationship or break up, everybody knows about it. Due to the nature of the people that I’ve been with in the past, people would know instantaneously and ask me about it. Honestly, it never really bothered me. I would say that I’m really glad that [my partner and I] have a similar group of friends, and I think people are very supportive of our relationship, so that makes me happy.

N: I, for one, have never dated anyone in the Vic bubble, or dated anyone seriously, but obviously I’ve casually dated and some people have stuck around more than others. At points, depending on who it is and how long we’ve been seeing each other, I’ve been comfortable bringing them around and talking about them to other people, and even bringing them to a party if I want to. It hasn’t bothered me too much. I’ve become very comfortable with letting people know who I’m seeing, even if it’s casual. Obviously, people will then know and find out, and they will offer me hot tips as to how to not be estranged or be too distant or too afraid to commit with this person, but that’s just always been my choice. Although it’s probably a fear, it’s kind of what I’m comfortable doing right now. I only post about my casual relationships on my finsta; I’ve never done it on my “real” Instagram or Facebook accounts.

Do you like love?

N: Despite me being a sleaze ball, I do believe in love. I think I will be in love one day, but that day is not now. I think more so after my undergrad experience I’ll be more comfortable pursuing actual relationships, and hopefully that will lead, someday, to love, because I think it is real.

It’s existent, at least.

A: I’ve been in love a few times. I would say there are different types of being in love: there are very unhealthy types and then there are healthy types. I would say that the relationship I’m in now is the first healthy type of love I have been in, and it feels very different.

N: Are you in love?

A: Yeah!

N: Just making sure for the audience. For discourse.

A: You definitely learn a lot about it the first time you’re in love, and it can be very consuming the first time it happens, especially when you’re really young and you give it a lot of energy and power over you that it shouldn’t necessarily have. But that’s life, and figuring out relationships is hard.

Once you get a good handle on it and when you’re in a relationship that you realize is actually good and healthy for you, you realize that the things that came before were not the best, and then that’s how you grow.

PHOTO

| HANA NIKCEVIC

08 FEATURES

EDITOR | REBECCA GAO FEATURES@THESTRAND.CA

Illustrations by Misbah Ahmed

Date

The Strand Don't leave us stranded on Valentine's Day Every February 14, people all over the world pretend that they super-duper believe in romantic love. They pay an inordinate amount of money for flowers and chocolate and other stereotypical gestures of affection. Sometimes, if you’re really lucky, you even get a special someone to call your Valentine! If you don’t have a date yet, check out our sexy, sexy masthead below.

We are now accepting applications at our office. Seriously. Call us.

Sabrina Papas

Position: HBIC What is your type?: Student journalists.

What is a bizarre talent of yours?: Running a newspaper with a budget of zero dollars.

What is your motto in life?: Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets.

What is your deepest fear?: Lola not getting what Lola wants.

Ainsley Doell

Rebecca Gao

Position: Editor-in-Chief What is your type?: All my TAs. Biggest turn-on?: Academic validation.

Biggest turn-off?: Emotional availability.

What is your worst dating story?: My ex-boyfriend fed me a peanut.

Position: Sex Columnist What is your idea of a perfect date?: You take me out and pay for my ramen. I'm asleep by 10 pm.

What is your worst dating story?: I went out with someone who wouldn’t stop calling me by my sister’s name.

What would you do for love?: I would do anything for love.

What wouldn’t you do for love?: But I won’t do that.

FEATURES 09

@STRANDPAPER THE STRAND | 12 FEBRUARY 2019

Tamara Frooman

Position: Senior Copyeditor What is your relationship status?: Only willing to date people who are down to impregnate me in roughly 5 to 7 years and then leave me alone forever to raise the child.

What is your motto in life?: “I’m tweeting about this.”

Biggest Turn-Off?: Testosterone What wouldn’t you do for love?: Leave my apartment

Hana Nikčević

Position: Left Field What is your relationship status?: Not dating my professors.

Biggest turn-on?: Gluten.

What is a deal-breaker for you?: Telling me I have Celiac disease when I don't.

What would you do for love?: The Jackman Humanities Scholars-in-Residence program.

Max Nisbeth

Position: Associate Stranded Editor What is your worst dating story: She left the date saying “thanks friend.”

What is your deepest fear?: Dying before The Bachelor finale.

What is your motto in life?: Spicy on the way in, spicy on the way out.

Two truths and a lie?: I like the colour pink, I like the colour purple, I like the colour orange.

Leo Morgenstern

Position: Stranded Editor What is your type?: Long hair, slicked back, white tshirt / Good girl faith and a tight little skirt.

What is your relationship status?: “Wildest Dreams”

by Taylor Swift.

What is your idea of the perfect date?: “Begin Again”

by Taylor Swift.

How do you usually end a relationship?: NOT with a 27-second phone call, I’ll tell you that much!

Jasmine Ng

Position: Podcast Editor What is your type?: Lightly tanned, makes me smile, surprises me at parties, a little crunchy, filled with vegetables... A spring roll. A spring roll is my type.

Biggest turn off?: “Well, actually…”

What is your deepest fear?: Bugs Bunny…with a knife.

What would you do for love?: Pretend their homemade memes are funny. Because they're trying their best.

Miranda Carroll

Position: Editorial Assistant What is your relationship status?: Dating my boyfriend.

What is your bizarre talent?: I can make a sound like a train.

How do you usually end a relationship?: Facetime.

Biggest turn on?: Reading Anne of Green Gables.

Jay Bawar

Position: Design Editor What is your idea of a perfect date?: Just guys being dudes.

Biggest turn-on?: InDesign proficiency.

What is your deepest fear?: Losing my AirPods.

What is your favourite book (that is not Infinite Jest)?: Infinite Jest II: Electric Boogaloo

Nate Crocker

Position: Social Media Manager What is your type?: …oh, you know.

What is your deepest fear?: Not finding a partner through this Strand feature.

Two truths and a lie?: I used to work for Lucy Liu, I cried on my birthday singing “This Love” by Taylor Swift AS Jane Eyre, I saw the bad musical If/Then, starring Idina Menzel, 15 times on Broadway.

What would you do for love?: Stay up until 3 am filling out this questionnaire.

Arin Klein

Position: Copyeditor What is your sign?: Virgo Biggest turn-on?: Having an office in the Jackman Humanities building.

What is a deal-breaker for you?: Not believing in the Oxford Comma.

What is your deepest fear?: That John Mulaney wouldn’t like me.

10 SCIENCE

EDITOR | TANUJ ASH KUMAR SCIENCE@THESTRAND.CA

Your one-stop shop for STI knowledge MICHAEL LECKIE, JASMINE NG, & TANUJ ASH KUMAR ASSOCIATE SCIENCE EDITOR, PODCAST EDITOR, & SCIENCE EDITOR

Looking for some brief information on STIs? Look no further—in the Love and Sex issue of The Strand, the Science section brings you blurbs on five common sexually transmitted conditions, so that you can stay informed and stay safe in your sexual escapades!

Chlamydia Chlamydia is one of the most common sexually transmitted infections, most likely due to the mildness or absence of its symptoms. This infection is bacterial, caused by Chlamydia trachomatis. These bacteria are passed through semen and vaginal fluids and can infect the penis, vagina, cervix, anus, urethra, eyes, and throat. How does it get to your eyes? you might ask. If you have any semen or vaginal fluid on your hand and touch your eye, the bacteria will transfer there.

As for the throat, oral sex is an easy means for the bacteria to enter. You won’t, however, get chlamydia from kissing or sharing food or drinks—only oral, anal, and vaginal sex can allow the bacteria to transfer. The few symptoms that might arise include pain during urination and sex, lower abdominal pain, swollen testicles, and bleeding from the anus. It is important to do regular screenings for chlamydia mostly because it can lead to more severe problems, such as sterility. It can also transfer from birthing parent to baby through childbirth. Since treatment simply includes antibiotics, stay proactive about testing and treat the infection earlier rather than later.

Gonorrhea This infection, like chlamydia, is common and difficult to spell. It is a bacterial infection caused by Neisseria gonorrhoeae, which is passed through semen and vaginal fluid. Like chlamydia, it affects the reproductive organs, anus, eyes, and throat, though not many symptoms show. The most notable symptoms include white or green penile discharge, pain during urination, and itching or bleeding from the anus. This infection can also be treated with antibiotics, but new cases of gonorrhea are appearing with bacteria that are rapidly adapting to our existing azithromycin and ceftriaxone treatments. The bacteria’s ability to mutate its genes between generations to survive antibiotics has been noted since

the 1940s, and we are running out of treatments.

The new strain of antibiotic-resistant bacteria is now called “super-gonorrhea” and is notoriously difficult to treat. Therefore, gonorrhea is a dangerous public health concern, especially since it is correlated with increased HIV risk and can pass from birthing parents to babies in childbirth. Use of condoms and dental dams, regular testing, and frank conversations about sexual health with partners can help prevent the spread of super-gonorrhea.

Pubic lice Many of us are likely familiar with the itchy head and with someone spraying on a strange-smelling substance and covering it with a plastic hair net.

Head lice was a mark of childhood; it was so fiercely avoided that it became a kind of game. Sometimes it was unclear what winning was—after all, head lice meant TV and no school. Hopefully not reminiscent of childhood is a variant of this itchy parasite: pubic lice, often called crab louse, an infestation of which is called Pediculosis pubis. The thicker quality of pubic hair attracts a crab-like insect that is specially designed to grip pubic hair. Readily sexually transmitted, the little bugs—living three to four weeks—can also hang onto clothing and be transmitted personto-person that way. P. pubis can be treated with insecticides permethrin and pyrethrins, though some may opt to shave to avoid it altogether.

Yeast infection A yeast infection, also called vaginal candidiasis, presents with sticky white vaginal discharge and irritation of the vagina. Commonly caused by the fungus Candida albicans, yeast infections are not, strictly speaking, STIs. People with vaginas, however, are more likely to contract a yeast infection at the beginning of regular sexual activity, and there might also be a relationship between oral sex and yeast infections. A healthy vagina has a balance of yeast and bacteria; some bacteria are used to keep the yeast population at bay. The balance, however, may be thrown off, when yeast (such as candida) overwhelms the yeast-controlling bacteria or grows in parts of the vagina that are difficult for bacteria to reach. This overgrowth of yeast leads to infection.

Antibiotics, pregnancy, and oral contraceptives can make vaginas more vulnerable to yeast infections.

Antifungal medications are often used for treatment or, under more serious conditions, boric acid is applied directly into the vagina. If you happen to find yourself with a yeast infection as well as warts, C. albicans has been shown to have positive effects when applied to warts.

Genital herpes Have you ever had cold sores or fever blisters? You’ll find that these were caused by a type of virus called herpes simplex type 1 (HSV-1). That’s right: they’re related to the herpes you might know as an STI. Genital herpes is a virus-based sexually transmitted infection that is caused by two strains of herpes simplex: HSV-2 or HSV-1. You’ll notice the latter of the two is the same strain of herpes that causes those cold sores, and so unprotected oral sex can be a causative factor of genital herpes. A lack of cold sores and fever blisters doesn’t guarantee that a person doesn’t carry HSV-1, though; in the majority of cases, a carrier of the (otherwise harmless) oral herpes doesn’t actually present any outwardly visible symptoms, which is why protection and testing are important.

HSV-2 is most commonly acquired through genitalto-genital contact, and either form of herpes simplex can be transferred through genital or oral secretions: vaginal, anal, or oral sex. There are few outwardly visible symptoms of genital herpes, but the virus stays in your body for life, and there are occasional “outbreaks” of small sores or blisters that can leave painful ulcers. Transmission of herpes from birthing parent to child is also possible during delivery, leading to a particularly dangerous form of herpes called neonatal herpes. While herpes simplex in any of its forms or locations is lifelong, it’s usually a manageable condition. Outbreak situations can typically be shortened or prevented using specific anti-herpes antivirals, and vaccines are currently in trial.

This was just a brief overview of a several existing STIs. Thankfully, today we have a wealth of information at our disposal regarding tips for prevention of contraction, safe practice, and treatment methods.

On top of this, improvements in sexual education will continue to lead us to more frank and open conversations about STIs, while simultaneously reducing the social stigmas associated with them.

ILLUSTRATION

| TANUJ ASH KUMAR

ARTS AND CULTURE 11

@STRANDPAPER THE STRAND | 12 FEBRUARY 2019

Kurt Marshall and the ethics of masturbating to the pre-tragic ACTON KERREC CONTRIBUTOR

ILLUSTRATION

| MIA CARNEVALE

Content warning: HIV/AIDS, pornography, sex, unprotected sex James Allen Rideout Jr. died on October 10, 1988 from kidney failure due to substance abuse and AIDS. He was 22. Before he died, he starred in four very successful gay porn films under the name Kurt Marshall.

My relationship with Marshall’s filmography begins down a Wikipedia hole. I am scrolling through the “Pornographic Acting” subcategory on Wikipedia’s “List of HIV Positive People” page. I click every name, read their page, and return to the main list. Kurt Marshall is the twelfth name under the “Pornographic Acting” subcategory. Even before I read his page, the list informs me that he was born in November 1965 and died in October 1988. So he was 22 when he died. This makes his death the youngest in this subcategory by a considerable margin. I click his name with that a priori sense of the tragic. His picture appears on the right side of my screen. He’s hot. Like, classic twink hot.

Tadzio from Death in Venice hot.

I normally don’t care about this kind of hot, but the presumed tragedy surrounding his death pulls me in. 22 is so young.

What did he feel in those months leading up to his death? How did he feel about the industry that he’d dedicated his adult life to? How did he even begin doing porn? Was he aware of the risks? These questions arise all at once from that spring of intrigue surrounding tragedy—tragedy I can imagine as my own, had I been born 30 years earlier. He was a big star: in only four movies, a diva on set, a coke problem. But I need more context. I need to see him— what he did that made him famous. I have to watch a video.

I open a new tab in my browser and search “Kurt Marshall gay porn video.” Always reliable, PornHub is first on the scene, offering its page of search results. I oblige and select the longest video because I am a sucker for plot and I want to see him speak.

It’s a scene from what I later learn is Marshall’s second film, Splash Shots, which allegedly originated the trope of gay sex around swimming pools. I skip ahead 30 seconds, past a man who isn’t Marshall basking in the splendor of a Jacuzzi. Then Marshall and a third man enter the scene. I stop and let the video play. They enter wearing speedos, emerging from some forest just beyond this suburban aquatic utopia. Why they are wearing speedos in the woods is never addressed. The man in the Jacuzzi welcomes them and they all quickly get down to business. In what shouldhave-been-expected Tadzio fashion, he doesn’t speak.

With the sex beginning sooner than I had anticipated, I am not prepared to pause the video and return to research. Now, I am just watching porn and getting aroused. I jump ahead because I don’t really care about blowjobs. I press play when I get to a close-up of Marshall craning his neck back in ecstasy. “This should be as good a place as any,” I think. He is angelic. He is the original holy twink. In this shot, I know all at once why he was so famous.

Then the video cuts to a shot of him from behind, riding one of the other men’s condomless penises.

Of course—it’s 1984; they wouldn’t be wearing condoms.

I close my eyes. I cut to August 8, 2018. I am having unprotected sex with my ex.

up.

Cut to October 21 and he calls two months after our break-

Hey, I just tested positive for HIV so I am calling to tell you that you should get tested.

Cut to me weeping in UC, the walk through rush-hour traffic to Hassle Free Clinic, the texts to friends from hands that won’t stop shaking, the rapid-test results that come back negative, and the collapse into the arms of a nurse.

It all comes back in this shot of Kurt Marshall getting penetrated without a condom. It seems pretty obvious that they wouldn’t have used condoms. Still, I pause the video. I am not uncomfortable with the memory it summons—I replay it all the time. I am uncomfortable with how I got here. Is it okay to watch this? Is it disrespectful? Kurt Marshall died tragically in arguably the most painful period of queer history, and I am about to masturbate to him performing the culturally persistent, albeit problematic, symbol for HIV transmission. Is this okay? I decide to stop, which I also have reservations about. I call my ex (who I have since gotten back together with, sort of) and we have phone sex.

So, how do I proceed?

Regretfully, or not, I do more research. It turns out Marshall loved doing gay porn, at least when he was doing it. In a 1986 interview with Stallion Magazine, regarding his career choice, Marshall said that “one can only judge something with one’s own eyes—something’s only bad when it has a bad influence on you. If something turns out good, you can’t look back and think that it was wrong...”

This fills me with a sense of hope, but I am skeptical about

jumping right into masturbating to his videos. I know that tragedy is a stigma, which is why I didn’t want to hold back in the first place. But we have no records of the last years of Marshall’s life. There is no way to know if his filmography was how he wanted to be memorialized.

Beyond Marshall, I am grappling with negotiating a cultural tragedy that isn’t necessarily my own. I wasn’t alive to remember the AIDS crisis. I talk to those who were, who felt its immense cultural pain, and through them I can partially understand its gravity. Someday these people will be gone, and the tragic history of AIDS will be representable only in cultural artifacts—artifacts and paratexts, like Marshall’s filmography. So amidst the ethical uncertainty of masturbating to Marshall’s movies, I am wondering how a generation is supposed to negotiate the tragic histories of a past it was not there to experience.

In the end, I did it. I filled an epistemological gap with pleasure.

I figured after thinking about this for a month I would come to some kind of conclusion. Instead, I have just as many concerns as I started with, if not more. Thankfully, HIV is not the tragedy it once was. My sort-of-partner is undetectable and we have had unprotected sex. Nevertheless, our sex obviously isn’t the sex of 1980s L.A.—I can’t read modern science and sex onto the past.

I have dates and artifacts. From these disparate strands I pull together a narrative of Marshall’s life—part tragic, part reparative. As a representation of his life, it might make as much sense as wearing a speedo in the woods. But it’s how I’m holding on to the past, at least for now.

Review: Sharon Van Etten's Remind Me Tomorrow MENA FOUDA ASSOCIATE ARTS AND CULTURE EDITOR

Sharon Van Etten’s latest album begins with the retelling of a story. Accompanied by a simple keyboard, the first track sets up the theme for the rest of the tracks on the album, with Van Etten emotionally opening up to the audience. The result is a compilation of ten tracks of various sonic sounds, from dreamy synths to fuzzy guitars, all bound by the thread of Van Etten’s evocative lyricism. This is an album you listen to in the dark, lying on your bed, eyes closed, mind far away.

Infused with anecdotes and personal reflections, Sharon Van Etten’s songs are not rooted in poetic fonder. She speaks plainly. She recalls stories as they are, without any addition of pretentious glamour. Her lyrics are quiet revelations, dripping

with maturity and honesty.

A lot of the songs revolve around heartbreak and new loves. But Van Etten is not a passive subject. She questions her companions, prompting her audience to participate in some healthy introspection: “There was a question you asked, ‘Is your father a man?’ / No, but I think you should do ask of yourself the same.” She is didactic, perhaps almost wishful, giving relationship recommendations: “Listen until you know what to say / Use loving words and be gentle and kind / Open your mind and it’s easy to find where I am.” She sings to different generations: to her new child in “Stay” and to a stubborn teenager in “Seventeen.”

At the end of the day, whether she has fulfilled her wish of wanting to “make sense of it all,” is not for us to decide.

Instead, as an audience, we can sway in the dark and open our minds to embracing our stories and our emotions. Much of

Van Etten’s previous four albums revolved around the theme of abusive relationships, and there are decided benefits to using art as a strategy for healing traumas. What distinguishes Remind Me Tomorrow from her other work is embracing the mess that comes with being human.

In comparison to her previous work, Remind Me Tomorrow exists in a new realm of maturity. No longer do romantic experiences fully shape the songs, and, accordingly, Van Etten herself. Rather, it is Van Etten who is in control of her narrative, becoming more than the sum of her relationships. She is no longer a vulnerable, heart-broken girl singing about clichéd breakups and toxic relationships. She is a person, taking a long, deep breath and freely divulging the thoughts swirling around her brain. Her songwriting, layered over an 80s-inspired backdrop, makes for a deeply reflective and highly authentic work of art.

12 ARTS AND CULTURE

EDITOR | HARRISON WADE ARTSANDCULTURE@THESTRAND.CA

Feminine singular

On the women in Frances Ha, Girlfriends, and Broadcast News ILLUSTRATION

SABRINA PAPAS EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Greta Gerwig and Noah Baumbach’s Frances Ha (2012) begins with two breakups. The first is between Frances (played by Gerwig) and her boyfriend, Dan (Michael Esper). He suggests that they move in together, but Frances, assuming that she and her roommate Sophie (Mickey Sumner) will be renewing their lease, turns down his offer. Sophie, however, has found a new apartment without Frances. She moves out of their apartment, marking the second breakup of the film. Frances is left to navigate the world alone.

Although Frances struggles to move on from the hurt of Sophie leaving, her ex-boyfriend Dan becomes inconsequential in relation to her day-today life. I’ve seen the film countless times, and each time I forget that Frances begins the movie with a boyfriend. The day after their breakup, we see Frances at work and hanging out with friends. Her life continues without tireless dwelling on what went wrong or how she can get him back. Just because her relationship is over doesn’t mean her life is, too.

Following their falling out, Sophie visits Frances at her new apartment where she lives with Lev (Adam Driver) and Benji (Michael Zegen). Sophie asks her if she’s been dating anyone. She tells her no, and Sophie responds with a condescending “Oh, Frances.” After Frances tell her honestly that she’s fine, Sophie asks about Benji as a potential love interest. From the perspective of her friend who is in a relationship, Frances’ status as a single woman is seen as a problem that should be solved. Why must being single imply a lack? Frances, a dancer, is barely making enough money to cover rent. She moves from apartment to apartment, trying to find her footing. She’s “not a real person yet.” Meeting a man is not crucial, especially at this moment in her life, when she is just discovering what it means to be alone without Sophie.

When writing Frances Ha, Gerwig was influenced by Claudia Weill’s Girlfriends (1978), which presents a similar plot line. The film follows photographer Susan Weinblatt (Melanie Mayron) after her roommate Anne (Anita Skinner) moves out to marry her boyfriend. Like Frances, Susan must learn to adjust to life as a single woman. Both films are about being single, without actually being about the need to find a partner. Men come into their lives, and they either stay or leave. There is no big moment in which either woman meets someone and falls deeply in love.

By the end of the film, Susan has a boyfriend, but their relationship is not the focus. She meets Eric (Christopher Guest) at a party and they sleep together. Weeks later, he calls her to suggest they go on a date. When he calls, Susan has nearly forgotten who he is. By this point, she’s been offered her own show at a local gallery, had an affair with a rabbi, and found a new roommate. The whole film is structured by small incidents in Susan’s life, but in the day-to-day, her one-night stand with Eric is seemingly insignificant until he calls her. She has not been waiting by her phone for him to ask her out. Coping with Anne leaving her and focusing on her career has been enough for her.

In comparison, James L. Brooks’ Broadcast News (1987) explicitly revolves around a love story.

Holly Hunter plays Jane Craig, a television news producer in Washington, D.C. When anchorman Tom Grunick (William Hurt) begins working at the network, Jane is faced with a dilemma. Tom essentially represents everything that she believes to be wrong with the broadcast journalism industry.

Formerly a sports anchorman, he has no experience with news but was hired based on his looks. Tom wants to learn from her, and Jane finds herself falling for him. Her best friend and a reporter at the same network, Aaron (Albert Brooks), is also in love with her, placing Jane within a love triangle.

When Tom asks Jane to produce a story he’s

| MAIA GRECCO

writing about sexual assault, she agrees. In his interview with a rape victim, Tom is shown crying on camera, apparently out of sympathy—but these tears turn out to be staged. Jane finds out before the two are supposed to meet at the airport for a vacation together, and she confronts him for going against journalistic ethics in order to enhance a story. She leaves him at the airport and they part ways; journalistic integrity matters more to her than being in a relationship.

Jane does not end up with Aaron, either, despite their close bond. When I first saw Broadcast News, I was disappointed. I wanted the happy ending I thought the film was leading toward. There is an alternate ending in which she does end up with Tom, but I realize now that this would have been wrong.

Why would a woman who is so passionate about her career sacrifice her beliefs for a man? Broadcast News is not about whether Jane will choose Tom or Aaron; it is about a woman realizing that she does not need to choose a man in order to have a happy ending.

I see myself in Frances, Susan, and Jane. A friend of mine recently commented on my confidence in being single. I was surprised; I had never thought of it as being any other way. There is so much more to focus on than finding a partner. But it can be difficult not to think about it when people are constantly asking about your love life and providing patronizing responses when a potential relationship doesn’t work out. This often happens when, like Frances, the majority of your close friends are in relationships. Or when, like me, you divulge details about your love life to everyone you know. But having a big mouth about my personal life tends to lead to people making assumptions about my feelings or about the situation. The problem with not having a partner is not actually being single: it is how being single is perceived. I’m single, but that doesn’t mean that I’m lacking in any way—I have never needed the validation of another person to feel complete.

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@STRANDPAPER THE STRAND | 12 FEBRUARY 2019

Donkey Kong says trans rights!

What a Twitch stream can teach us about activism ANNA SOKOLOVA CONTRIBUTOR

I had the evening of Friday, January 18 planned out weeks in advance. I was going to get myself some tea, open my laptop, and watch hbomberguy—a favourite YouTuber of mine—Twitch stream Donkey Kong 64 nonstop until he had combed every level with every character and collected every single item in the game. Hbomb, whose real name is Harry Brewis, had announced the torturous upcoming feat seemingly on a whim in an earlier video. As a tribute to the speedrunning community, he, too, would do a nonstop run of a game—a game that is notoriously frustrating to complete and that he’s hated since childhood.

Needless to say, I was sold. I was ready to spend the night watching him struggle.

For the next 58 hours, he did struggle. He also raised over 340,000 dollars for the trans youth charity Mermaids UK, was recognized by global news and the Scottish parliament, and hosted dozens of guests ranging from TV personality Adam Conover to activist Chelsea Manning to US congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. A Donkey Kong 64 stream skyrocketed into one of the most spontaneous and momentous events of transgender activism in internet history. How? And what does its success mean for gaming, for the internet, and for LGBTQ+ activism?

At the time, Mermaids, whose counselling and educational services have been essential for transgender youth and their families around the UK, was being attacked by transphobic rhetoric. The Lottery Fund, which was to donate 500,000 pounds to Mermaids, had recently pulled its donation for review after writer Graham Linehan urged his audience to contact the Fund en masse to drop the charity. Out of anger at Linehan and compassion for trans youth, Brewis announced that all of his stream’s proceeds would go to Mermaids. He did not expect, as he told Mermaids CEO Susie Green on the stream, to raise much more than 5,000 dollars.

Instead, the stream blew up. People kept dropping in, tweeting, writing articles, and sending donations so quickly that Twitch couldn’t keep up with them. At one point, a guest remarked to Brewis, who is cis, that a trans

woman doing the stream would not have gotten as much traction. That discussion underlined the real power of allyship: the ability to use privilege to create platforms for those who need to be heard. For this reason, the stream’s behind-the-scenes team, which hurriedly assembled as the stream grew, frontlined the recruitment of trans guests onto the stream. Viewers might have dropped in to experience the humorous situation of a guy playing nonstop Donkey Kong for charity or out of spite for Linehan’s angry tweeting, but once in, they were met with a thoughtful collection of trans voices. People like up-and-coming video essayist Sarah Zedig and TransgenderNI executive director Ellen Murray were able to speak to tens of thousands of people in real time. Issues at the forefront of the discussion included the need to support the work of trans artists, the safety of trans people of colour, and the visibility of disabled trans people. While Brewis drew an audience to the stream, it was trans people who used the platform to carve out a space to be heard.

On top of charity money, the stream used the #TransCrowdFund, which allowed trans people to reach a willing audience and seek funding for wheelchairs, surgeries, and other life-altering but expensive causes. Emotionally, the stream seemed to do even more. After threats to trans civil rights, like the surge in anti-trans bathroom bills and the US military ban, listening to video game creators, activists, and even a congresswoman shout “TRANS RIGHTS!” was a much-needed boost. As Natalie (@ Transsomething on Twitter) put it, “It feels like this is a game changer. Not just the money, though that’s wonderful. It’s the display of support which means so much to so many trans people & their families. It’s the way it shows the world we’re relevant.”

And all this happened while Brewis spent hours struggling to hoard blue beavers into a hole. When asked about his stream’s success in a panel at Imperial College, he answered: “I happened to be the first person who said, ‘Hey, this is bad and we should do something about it’ … I didn’t do anything. I just played Donkey Kong.” Though Brewis used his gaming to downplay his contribution, we can’t ignore the fact that the stream’s gaming aspect was the catalyst for drawing an audience into a hilarious

and lighthearted atmosphere. It was entertaining, to say the least, to watch an exhausted, heavily caffeinated man with SOBEK scrawled on his forehead swear at a slide minigame while the chat spammed at him to save. And it was exactly that entertainment that attracted and maintained the audience for the outpouring of donations and support.

With GamerGate fresh in the online consciousness, it might seem that online gaming and trans activism are unlikely bedfellows, but the stream was stronger from the amalgamation. While this wasn’t the first time a gaming channel has streamed for charity, it was the first time LGBTQ+ rights, and especially trans rights, so prominently took centre stage. The mainstream gaming community, as well as the internet at large, often hasn’t been the kindest to trans people, but that doesn’t have to be the case.

As Sarah Zedig (@hmsnofun) tweeted, “what this taught me is that trans people are everywhere, but so many of us believe we are alone. all it takes is something truly meant to give them the hope they need to take control of their lives.” Marginalization is terrifyingly isolating. No wonder it was so rewarding for so many to instead be heard, seen, and supported.

In this case, it took allyship; it took gaming; it took internet culture. All these elements have potential for, and often a history of, transphobia, but Harry’s stream served to prove that when handled with love, compassion, and a look toward foregrounding rather than eclipsing marginalized voices, something as ridiculous as 58 hours of Donkey Kong can drive cultural change.

The funny, the unexpected, the nerdy, and the marginal all hold potential to funnel people toward what matters. People care about those things, and through them, about other people. Especially with the recent moves made against them, trans people deserve vocal and material support. If there’s anything we can take away from this stream, it’s that activism in the Internet era can take ridiculous but powerful forms. It doesn’t need to be broadcast by national television or expressed from a podium to be important—who knows, maybe soon those journalists and politicians will be asking for admission into your stream, yelling “TRANS RIGHTS!”

Valentine’s Day (2010): finding beauty and brilliance in a so-called “bad” movie It’s my favourite movie and I’m not ashamed

LEO MORGENSTERN STRANDED EDITOR

If you surveyed 100 people and asked them what their favourite movie was, none of them would say Garry Marshall’s 2010 film Valentine’s Day, unless one of the people you surveyed happened to be me. Valentine’s Day is not a favourably-reviewed film. One reviewer even went so far as to call it “the worst film ever made.” The consensus seems to be that the film has too many storylines for any of them to be told effectively. I wholeheartedly agree that none of the relationships in the film are fleshed out, but I take umbrage at the suggestion that this is a failing. In fact, the shallow nature of the film is exactly what makes it so compelling.

The overarching sentiment of Valentine’s Day is captured by the lyrics of the song that Taylor Swift penned for the film: “Today Was a Fairytale.” She sings, “Today was a fairytale / I wore a dress / You wore a dark grey t-shirt.”

The incongruity is clear. Fairytales tend to be about things

like glass slippers, not grey t-shirts. But that’s exactly what makes this line so profoundly touching. It takes a really special person and a really special relationship to give a t-shirt so much meaning. But as listeners, we don’t know anything about that person or that relationship. We don’t really get it, because it’s just for the two of them to know.

And that’s why I believe it would be detrimental to Valentine’s Day if the film devoted more time to fleshing out any of its storylines. There’s something undeniably beautiful about watching other people be happy, without truly understanding why.

Harrison (the Arts and Culture Editor) only gave me 600 words for this piece, so, unfortunately, I can’t go into detail about every character—and believe me, I would if I could. But I’ll start with the central couple of the film, played by Ashton Kutcher and Jennifer Garner (let’s be honest, there’s no point in using the characters’ names).

Marshall wants us to believe that these two long-time friends have incredible chemistry. However, as many critics have rightly pointed out, the film only tells us this, rather than actually showing that chemistry on screen. They’re

best friends, but we’re just going to have to take their word for it. This isn’t Kutcher and Garner’s fault, but it’s simply a result of not sharing enough screen time. However, I don’t see this as a flaw. It’s a narrative technique. Kutcher and Garner’s love story is untainted by any opinions the viewer might form about their chemistry, because there’s no room for interpretation. Just like Swift’s grey-shirted beau, all we know is that they love each other. It’s not our place to know why.

When Bradley Cooper kisses Eric Dane, Jessica Biel kisses Jamie Foxx, Héctor Elizondo kisses Shirley MacLaine, and so on, perhaps those kisses don’t feel earned.

Perhaps the audience feels it didn’t get enough time with each couple to understand the big kiss. But that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. The world is filled with love stories that we’ll never understand. The beauty of Valentine’s Day doesn’t come from understanding why the couples are happy, but just from knowing that they are. Valentine’s Day relies on our ability to feel pure, unadulterated happiness for one another. Valentine’s Day is a celebration of the human heart.

14 STRANDED

EDITOR | LEO MORGENSTERN STRANDED@THESTRAND.CA

Let’s talk about sex, baby Intercourse, love-making, carnal relations. You probably know nothing about it.

But do not fret, our experts don’t either.

REBECCA “JUST DATE WOMEN” GAO AND MOLLY “DUMP HIM” KAY SEXPERTS

I accidentally accepted my ex’s proposal! How do I navigate the dating world with my new fiancé?

Molly: Dump him, move to a different city, and pawn off the engagement ring for cash?

Rebecca: If you try to get a woman into a relationship before you’ve even made her feel sufficient sexual attraction for you, she might also say that you’re “coming on too strong.” It will feel strange to her that you’re wanting her to commit to being your girlfriend, even though you haven’t kissed her or had sex with her yet.

—themodernman dot com —Rebecca Gao How many local Toronto meme group admins can I have sex with before it gets weird?

attached?

Molly: In times of darkness, I always turn to the words of American pop sension Britney Spears: “Let’s not and say we didn’t.”

Rebecca: Not to brag, but I have an uncanny ability to know every detail down to a guy’s favorite football team, his weird obsession with Aerosmith, and his awful choice in beer. I’m not saying it’s a gift, but like, I kinda am. Just because I know what he likes doesn’t mean I’m going to waste my time memorizing the starting lineup of his precious Raiders. Girls who take up the same interests as a guy are “nice” and nobody wants to be the nice girl who’s walked all over.

If you find yourself trying to change something about you so that he may like you more, pop a Xanny and think about this: What will happen when you eventually call it quits? You’re stuck with overpriced sports memorabilia you’ll end up lighting on fire, and you spent what could’ve been drinking money on concert tickets to see some fossil named Bob Seger.

—betches dot com —Rebecca Gao

Molly: Weird flex but okay (this message is not brought to you by @UofT Memes) Rebecca: Three. One is an accident, two is a coincidence, three is a pattern.

Molly: If you have any further questions, check out “Three” by Britney Spears.

My roommate never brings his girlfriend to our house. Is he embarrassed of her or of us?

Molly: To quote Britney Spears, “I got 99 problems and a roommate ain’t 1.”

Rebecca: Sometimes, a discussion about your roommate’s significant other can turn into something more than you bargained for. When Brooke broached the boyfriend issue with her roommate, she got something of a wake-up call herself. “I finally got the courage to tell my roommate that her new boyfriend was hanging around too much and eating all my food. She apologized but then told me that she suspected the guy I’d been dating had been using her bath products.” And not just any bath products. “It turns out that he had been using her extremely expensive face cream as body lotion. It was so awkward to tell her that her suspicions had been correct.”

—ohmyapartment dot com —Rebecca Gao How do you manage casually hooking up with a fuckboy without getting

Dear Sarah, I’m sorry I lied to you about where I was on Wednesday, and I’m sorry about what I said to your mother last Thanksgiving, and I’m sorry about the time I cancelled our trip to Boca Raton because a last-minute bowling tournament came up, and about how I spent the two thousand dollars I won as runner-up in the bowling tournament to buy a Ms. Pac-Man machine without asking you, and that I broke the Ms. Pac-Man machine two weeks later when I came home drunk and thought it was the refrigerator and poured milk all over it, and I’m sorry for laughing at your grandfather’s funeral because I remembered a funny line from Billy Madison, and for calling your grandmother a joyless prune after she told me to stop laughing during your grandfather’s funeral, and for laughing during your grandmother’s funeral because I remembered the time that I called her a joyless prune and I’m sorry about what I said to your mother two Thanksgivings ago.

And now that all that’s out of the way, what do you say we go one step further. Sarah, will you marry me?

Let me know by Thursday thanks cause I’ve got a bowling tournament in Whitby this weekend so I’ll be out of town.

Love, Dan P.S. sorry I spent $200 on this ad in The Strand without asking you

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@STRANDPAPER THE STRAND | 12 REBRUARY 2019

Why don’t women have orgasms?

It just doesn’t seem fair!

LEO MORGENSTERN MALE FEMINIST

I have had sex. For the most part, I really enjoy it. It makes my body feel great. There’s one thing though that really just seems plain unfair. Why don’t women have orgasms? For those of you that haven’t had sex (unlike me; I have had sex), an orgasm is the climax of the sexual experience. It’s the pinnacle of pleasure. If sex was Academy Award–winning film The King’s Speech, the orgasm would be the part when the King makes a speech. If I didn’t make it clear enough: orgasm feel good. So, it really sucks that women don’t have them.

Let’s look at the facts. Women have sexual body parts, such as the vagina, the clitoris, and the urethra. I know this because I have had sex. In my experience (I have experience because I have had sex), women are an integral part of the sexual experience. If I am doing the math correctly, sexual body parts plus sexual experience should equal orgasms. Unfortunately for women, it does not. If you’re wondering about my opinion on this, here it is: this sucks. It’s really bad. I wish women could have orgasms because they feel really nice in my experience (I have had sex). Perhaps also more women would want to have sex with me more times if they could have an orgasm too.

My review of women not having orgasms? 1 star.

Colin Firth in The King’s Speech, seen here presumably giving a speech

Petition to move Valentine’s Day to the summer MAX NISBETH ASSOCIATE STRANDED EDITOR

We get it! Valentine’s Day sucks! Mostly because it’s essentially a calendar alert for your loneliness and a holiday for the soul purpose of exploiting your wallet (a lot to unpack there). Often enough, because of all of these poopsicles, we raise expectations to have an amazing day—but if any of us learned anything from the Taylor2 film about Valentine’s Day, we would all remember that the best version of the day is one that happens on our own terms. And my terms are simple… MOVE IT TO THE FUCKING SUMMER! For the love of the love gods why would you pick the absolute worst date of the year to have a day to be romantic, chivalrous, and demonstrative. I can’t be sexy or appealing when I’m going through Aveeno tubes like they’re breath mints (which are a crucial element to any Valentine’s Day plans). My body is itchy all over, my knuckles feel like sandpaper, and my lips have more cracks than the African plains in The Lion King, or maybe even the real African plains.

This is not the time for me to be my best self. It’s like the chance of Brendan Fraser making a comeback: the odds are against us. February 14, in Canada at least, is the midway point of winter. You’re deep in

it. So you’ve accomplished getting through half of hell—and you’ve barely survived! You don’t even get the luxury of having actual days off from work or school! You have to schedule this shit around your busy, cold, chaotic life and still have the time and patience to wait 40 minutes for a table at a nice restaurant. THIS MAKES NO SENSE! Even the bathroom no longer gives you comfort as your bare ass becomes cryogenically frozen to your ice cold toilet seat. Good luck trying to consensually grab some ass when the mitten of snow that is your hand becomes a black hole for any resemblance of libido. Everything in the winter is difficult. We all know the ice level of any video game is always the hardest! And love, like I’ve said many times, is exactly like Crash Bandicoot. So if you would like to join me in this fight for warmth in a tundra that has no foreseeable end, visit thestrand.ca/category/stranded to join my petition for moving Valentine’s Day to the summer.

Not yet on my side? Well here are a few reasons to take your chocolate-filled hearts and put on your flip-flops: 1. You can actually sit outside 2. Patios can be used for people instead of chairless tables 3. You are no longer cold

4. You can literally do all of the romantic things, which all brilliantly require going outside!!!!

5. Lower chance of getting sick, higher chance of getting laid 6. You remember that sunsets exist 7. The beach rises up from the Earth like a biblical phenomenon 8. Toilet seats are warm 9. Butts can be consensually grabbed and it is still sexy 10. People are wearing less clothing 11. Patios 12. Pools 13. Sun 14. Warmth 15. Did I mention patios?

Please!!!!!! Please, for the love of loving love! Let’s not have a holiday where we’re more likely to be sad during an already sad time, let’s have a holiday where we’re more likely to be sad during a time where there’s sunlight and margaritas by the poolside.

Some of you may be like, “Well, what do we add in as a holiday during February?” New holiday called Stay Inside With People You Love Day, also known as Holiday. Let’s stop this cold Valentine’s Day and make cuffing season year-fucking-round!!!!

Love poetry S. FARRUKH AND W. MOESCHTER STAFF WRITERS AND STAFF LOVERS

shall i compare thee to a summer’s day warm and full of flies

ten word story she loved him b;jt ah shit backspace no wait stop

you say you are in love but you say you are in Burlington

he was a boy

which is it

she was a cat behavioural specialist

how can you be both

can i make it any more obvious

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@STRANDPAPER THE STRAND | 12 REBRUARY 2019

Finding love at The Maddy

Stranded Valentines Cut them out and give them to your Valentine!

STRANDED EDITORS HOPELESS ROMANTICS