The Strand | Vol. 62, Issue 7

the

STRAND VICTORIA UNIVERSITY’S STUDENT NEWSPAPER VOLUME 62, ISSUE 7 | 14 JANUARY 2020

New year, same me

Top ten of the 2010s in science

The Strand’s best of the decade

editorial | page 4

science | page 10

arts | page 12

02 NEWS

EDITOR | ANN MARIE ELPA NEWS@THESTRAND.CA

Provincial government to appeal court ruling against Student Choice Initiative Appeal comes after SCI struck down in Divisional Court ann marie elpa news editor

On December 9, the provincial government announced that it will be filing an appeal against the court ruling that struck down the controversial Student Choice Initiative (SCI). “I can confirm that we are appealing the decision,” Colleges and Universities Minister Ross Romano says in a press conference. “As we’ve indicated before, we wanted to ensure that as a government that we do everything in our power to promote affordability for students.”

The Student Choice Initiative, introduced in January 2019, aimed to provide students with the opportunity of opting out of ancillary fees and services deemed “unnecessary”. Among the “unnecessary” fees included money spent towards the operation of student unions, legal clinics, student newspapers and radio stations.

The appeal comes after the Canadian Federation of Students (CFS), a student union representing 350,000 students in Ontario, took the province to court last fall, arguing that the provincial government had no authority over how student union fees were budgeted and spent. The divisional court ruled in favour of

the York Federation of Students (YFS), the Canadian Federation of Students-Ontario (CFS-O), and the University of Toronto Graduate Students’ Union (UTGSU), deeming the SCI unlawful and stating it was beyond the scope of the provincial government’s authority.

Student unions are considered private entities, operating their finances and proceedings independently. Therefore, the court cannot exercise its spending powers as universities are outside its boundaries.

What’s next?

Following the province’s decision to appeal the ruling, by law, a leave will need to be obtained by the Court of Appeal before any action can be made.

“We are currently working with our legal team to ensure we are prepared for all possible next steps regarding this legal challenge and we will continue to keep our members updated on the progress of the appeal,” reads a statement from the CFS-O website “Despite this government’s decision to seek leave to appeal the ruling of the Divisional Court, it is important to note that the ruling remains in place and under the Divisional Court’s order, the Student Choice Initiative is unlawful.” photo

| hana nikcevic

Traffic-related incidents up in Toronto, despite new city mandates City policies criticized for inability to affect change rebecca gao editor-in-chief

In June of 2019, Mayor John Tory announced Vision Zero 2.0, an updated version of the city’s three-year-old plan that has, so far, failed to reduce the rate of traffic-related incidents in Toronto.

Despite Vision Zero 2.0, traffic-related incidents have not gone down. In 2019, 42 pedestrians died on Toronto’s streets, according to a report from the Toronto Star. The deadly year has left advocates, citizens, and politicians furious at the city’s inaction, with many advocates calling the new initiative too timid.

Vision Zero

Vision Zero is a concept that did not originate in Toronto—it is a set of programs and policies that aim to reduce a municipality’s pedestrian deaths to zero. Cities around the world, such as New York and Edmonton, have had success implementing Vision Zero policies.

The idea is to transform the perception of pedestrian deaths; they should be seen as preventable incidents, not accidents.

Toronto and pedestrian deaths

Policies such as enforcing lower speed limits are sure to reduce pedestrian deaths, but many advocates are arguing that a culture shift must occur in the city. They point to the disproportionate amount of TTC fare evasion tickets that have been issued in 2019, compared to the amount of speeding tickets issued. The city seems to care more about criminalizing fare evasion than punishing those who speed.

Critics of Toronto’s approach to Vision Zero have argued that there have not been enough resources dedicated to reducing pedestrian deaths. On January 10, the city announced that they would be spending 3 percent of the total $5 billion on transportation over the next decade on Vision Zero initiatives.

NEWS 03

@STRANDPAPER THE STRAND | 14 JANUARY 2020

Ontario government bans advertising on vaping products Ban comes after extensive research shows health effects of vaping products

What’s going on in and around UofT this month?

Kick off 2020 by checking out these fun events around campus After a long visit back home consisting of family gatherings, catching up with old friends and getting that much-needed eight-hour nap (finally!), heading back to campus and checking ACORN may seem like a rude awakening.

Whether you’re one of the few people who legitimately misses going to class every day or you simply want to bounce back after the Fall Semester, the new semester and the new year (or pretty much, the new decade) provide many opportunities to reinvent yourself and refresh after a hectic year.

photo

ann marie elpa news editor

A provincial ban on the promotion of vaping products in convenience stores came into effect on January 1 in an attempt to reduce their usage amongst young people. Under the Smoke-Free Ontario Act 2017, advertisements for popular vaping products such as JUULs and ecigarettes will no longer be placed in commonly accessed areas such as convenience stores and gas stations.

The ban, however, does not apply to specialty stores which are only available to those aged 19 or older.

"Restricting the promotion of vapour products in retail stores will help prevent youth from being exposed and influenced by promotion in retail settings," Health Minister Christine Elliott said in a news release. "This is just one way our government is taking action to protect young people in Ontario."

The move comes after the Pro-

| VAPING360.com

gressive Conservatives announced plans in mid-2019 to reduce and regulate vaping among Ontario youth.

Research shows long-term damage to respiratory system

Recent studies on the effects of long term vape usage show major damage to the respiratory system, putting users at risk for severe lung disease.

The toll for vaping-related deaths in the US has risen to 57 as of January 7. 2,602 cases of vaping-related hospitalizations have also been reported.

Health Canada issued a warning about the usage of vaping products, citing dangerous ingredients such as nicotine and vitamin E acetate.

While there have been no reports of vaping-related deaths in Canada, there have been early reports of hospitalization. Ontario is the seventh province to place such restrictions on vaping advertisements.

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Editor emails are on the next page and online at thestrand.ca/masthead

Whether your New Year’s resolution is to be more involved, meet more new people, or integrate more self-care into your routine, checking out a fun event on campus is a great way to power up for 2020.

UTSU Frost Week January 13 to 17 Around St. George Campus The annual UTSU Frost Week kicks off on the 13 and ends on the 17. Stick around for fun events like creating a human snow globe, swapping clothing, and enjoying tons of free food.

Fridays for Future Every Friday in January Various locations Fridays for Future weekly protests return. March alongside communities in across Canada in to show your support for climate justice.

Gardiner Gala January 23 Gardiner Museum, 7:00-10:00 pm Observe some art, have a drink, and enjoy some live music. The Gardiner Gala, in a collaboration between VUSAC, VicXposure and the Office of the Dean of Students, returns on the 23.

Legally Blonde January 17 to February 1, 8:00-10:30 pm Hart House Theatre Your favourite guilty pleasure movie is now a musical production at Hart House. From January 17 to February 1, see the hit musical Legally Blonde and channel your inner sorority girl. Student tickets are priced at $15 each, Wednesday evenings are discounted at $12.

Night of Ideas: Being Alive January 25, 5:00 pm - 2:00am Art Museum at the University of Toronto Part of a global initative across 50 cities, this event will bring together a mix of artists, writers, thinkers, and activists for a night of free lectures, performances, and screenings. Philosopher, writer, curator, and trans activist Paul B. Preciado will deliver a keynote lecture on the work of Lorenza Bottner. This event is free and all ages!

04 EDITORIAL

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF | REBECCA GAO EDITOR@THESTRAND.CA

New year, same me

the

strand V O L U M E

The Strand’s staff on New Year’s resolutions and personal growth

6 2

editor-in-chief

editor@thestrand.ca

rebecca gao

photo

| ilya sarossy

managing editor

managing@thestrand.ca

leo morgenstern

business manager

business@thestrand.ca

mishail adeel

news

news@thestrand.ca

ann marie elpa

opinions

opinions@thestrand.ca

meg jianing zhang

features

features@thestrand.ca

hadiyyah kuma

science

science@thestrand.ca

michal leckie

arts and culture

artsandculture@thestrand.ca

abbie moser

stranded

stranded@thestrand.ca

max nisbeth

copyediting

copy@thestrand.ca

sandy forsyth

design

design@thestrand.ca

keith cheng

photo

photo@thestrand.ca

ilya sarossy

art

art@thestrand.ca

amy jiao

web

web@thestrand.ca

eric mcgarry

podcast

strandcast@thestrand.ca

noah kelly jasmine ng

editorial assistants

khadija alam gillian chapman jess nash emma paidra eden prosser faith wershba

contributors dorota borovsky , skylar cheung , tamara

frooman , ellen grace , james hannay , haleema khan veronika zabelle nayir , beck siegal , t williams copy editors julianna he , stuart jones design team keith cheng, rebecca gao illustrations mia carnevale, amy jiao, fiona tung photos bentley, phillip gunz, hbo, hana nikcevic, oouinouin, pixabay, pexels, ilya sarossy, shutterstock, spacex, technology networks, the rake, vape360.com,

faith wershba, jana zills cover art mia carnevale

The Strand has been the newspaper of record for Victoria University since 1953. It is published 12 times a year with a circulation of 1200 and is distributed in Victoria University buildings and across the University of Toronto’s St. George campus.

The Strand flagrantly enjoys its editorial autonomy and is committed to acting as an agent of constructive social change. As such, we will not publish material deemed to exhibit racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, or other oppressive language.

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"Recently, I’ve picked up journaling as a way to sort through my thoughts, process my experiences and feelings, and vent without forcing my friends to do emotional labour for me. Honestly, I’m bad at it. I forget for weeks on end, only picking up my too-expensive journal when something dramatic has happened and I absolutely need to get it out.

Despite my bad journaling habits, I have found that I genuinely enjoy it—when it’s unplanned.

Journaling and I never worked out in the past because I always felt pressured to write in my journal every day, to have something smart and incisive to say in every entry, and to come to epiphanies constantly. Now, I write in my journal when I feel like it, when I actually have something to unload, when I want to spend an hour and a half writing five pages about why something someone said to me made me feel “icky.” I’ve found this mode of journaling to be so much more productive, not just because I’m not wasting my time agonizing over writing something “good,” but because I do feel as if I’m sorting through my thoughts and processing my emotions.

Like journaling, New Year’s resolutions never worked for me. I can’t force myself to change, just like I can’t force myself to reflect every day. Despite the new year, and the new decade, I know I’m the same me. A simple calendar change is not going to undo 22 years of bad habits. This year, I’ve decided to take my “when it works for me” approach to journaling to my New Year’s resolutions. I know the things in my life that I want to change, but I don’t feel a need to put myself on a timeline. Taking my time to make gradual steps towards self-growth, rather than cramming a year’s worth of personal development into January, will ultimately serve me better than a set of hard resolutions ever can."

—Rebecca Gao, Editor-in-Chief "Up until a few years ago, I would write up an extensive list of New Year’s resolutions every December.

I remember feeling so optimistic about introducing habits in my life to become a better person, but I was never able to make lasting changes. Eventually, I gave up on New Year’s resolutions and I figured that I could set goals at any point during the year.

I think, in the back of my mind, a new year still represented a fresh start, but I was deterred from making resolutions because I had never been able to keep them in the past. That changed in 2019.

Everyone I knew, in person and online, was so enchanted by the prospect of getting to really begin anew in 2020. It wasn’t just going to be a new year; it was going to be a new decade. I couldn’t help but also get a little excited about what this new chapter in my life could hold.

However, now that it’s 2020, I’m not going to make the same mistakes as before and try to work

on a multitude of life-changing resolutions at once.

Instead, I’m planning on introducing small goals at various points throughout the year. Though, to begin the year, I’ve decided on a word that captures the essence of all my resolutions: balance."

—Khadija Alam, Editorial Assistant "When I was in high school, I used to scribble down a list of New Year’s resolutions in a notebook I kept in the bottom drawer of my desk. I don’t think I ever referred to that list after I wrote it, not until another New Year’s Eve came around and I was faced with writing in That Notebook again. In most recent years, I haven’t bothered to write a new list, because the items I can think of are activities I am simply going to do anyway: going to ballet, practicing guitar, learning German, etc. However, thinking about what I liked from the past year and what I’d like to continue can be productive. In some ways, imagining what I see myself enjoying is a form of intention-setting. Intention-setting is a practice which emphasizes a principle or vision by which you align your actions. It seems healthier than having distinct goals, because I don’t want to be disappointed by goals that are too lofty or feel guilty if I don’t enjoy the new activities I’ve chosen.

I don’t think the new year or new decade alone have inspired me to do anything particularly different. I think the impetus for change comes in unexpected moments—when we have a near-death experience, when we fall in love, or when we see people acting selflessly. I’ve had some such experiences throughout the past year, and I’m keeping my eyes out for the moments that encourage me to act more generously and thoughtfully."

—Jasmine Ng, Podcast Editor "Making New Year’s resolutions is something I no longer participate in. I used to believe in the symbolism of a new start, but over the past few New Years, I’ve come to realize that this symbolism means nothing—for me anyway. Perhaps it is my own cynical view because of previous failed resolutions, but I think New Year’s resolutions place an undue pressure to succeed, and when I don’t follow through on them, I feel like failure in my own life and that I’ve ruined my whole year. But the thing is, there is nothing special about the new year; time is a societal construct. The universe isn’t keeping track of time, it just exists. So why do I need to change myself and my life at the start of a new year when I could do that at any time in the year or throughout my life? Instead, I believe in reflecting on my year, myself, and my life, so that I can move forward; that is something I try to practice throughout the year instead of at the beginning of each year."

—Julianna He, Copyeditor

OPINIONS 05

EDITOR | MEG JIANING ZHANG OPINIONS@THESTRAND.CA

Netflix, sleeping in… and contemplation?

The importance of reflection during winter break emma paidra editorial assistant

My chest heaves up and down, and with each deep inhalation, I slowly manage to catch my breath. I can feel my shirt sticking to me with sweat, and though my body aches, I can’t help but feel something stirring—pride. Oh boy, I’m starting to get emotional, and the gym is certainly not the best place to shed a tear. Every time I come home to Calgary and head to Repsol Sport Centre, I find myself thinking about the many ways in which I have grown stronger, both physically and mentally, since my last visit. As a brief pause from a heavy workload, winter break is a time that allows for exactly these sorts of reflections.

While reflecting is one possible outcome of winter break, it can really be whatever you make of it. If you’ve been craving two weeks of uninterrupted Netflix binging and hanging out with friends, then binge away! Yet, if you want it to be, this pause between semesters is also a perfect time for contemplation. With the school year’s first four months of academic intensity in the rearview mirror, it can be worthwhile to ask ourselves what accomplishments we can be proud of. In what ways did you challenge yourself? If you feel like you didn’t challenge yourself, how come? These questions can lead us to some uncomfortable places, and I can’t blame anyone who would rather just enjoy the relaxation that the break has to offer. That being said, in asking these questions, I managed to reorient myself for the coming semester, as well as realize something that should be obvious but isn’t always: the success of a semester never comes down to just grades.

If you earned straight As, then congrats! But this scenario won’t stop me from suggesting that any brainiacs out there should not jump to label their entire semester a grand success after checking ACORN (if grades ever actually get uploaded, that is). Without diminishing the well-earned pride of anyone whose grades reflect their hard work, I challenge those of this category to think about their semester through the lens of personal accomplishment, and not solely academics. For better

or for worse, this may readjust the satisfaction a person feels towards their semester, but it is guaranteed to enable legitimate reflection and growth. I don’t know about you, but I can’t think of anything bad coming from that.

On the flip side, it is all too easy to look at a low mark on ACORN and think, “Gee, this semester really didn’t go that well.” To anyone who despairs, I urge you to dig deeper! The “success” of a semester also includes the ways in which you grew as an individual. While personal development cannot be quantified onto a transcript, it arguably will carry a person just as far as grades can, if not further. On top of that, individual growth feels pretty darn good too. While lower-than-expected grades are understandably upsetting, it’s just not worth it to give into the ease with which defeat can be donned, like a big, ugly sweater. Instead, think a little harder about the other parts of your semester you feel good about. I would bet anyone that

if they think long enough about it, there were good bits mixed in with the rest of the fall semester, even if they aren’t so obvious at first.

This is a lot to think about over our short winter break, but such clear midway points conducive to reflection don’t come around all too often. To all those who profited from their academic hiatus by considering first semester, I hope you got something useful out of your thoughts. And to those who focused on simply enjoying the break (which was certainly welldeserved), I encourage you to begin considering the struggles and triumphs of the last four months. Because if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that it is never too late for some good ol’ meditation and personal growth. In fact, I am confident that if we learn to exercise self-trust just a little bit more, we can pleasantly surprise ourselves with the amount of growing we are actually capable of. illustration

| fiona tung

Nowhere to go As temperatures drop, people affected by homelessness face increasing challenges jess nash editorial assistant

Toronto has a problem.

If you’ve ever walked down Dundas, maybe you’ve noticed people with nowhere to go sitting against buildings or in stations. If you’ve lived in Toronto for a while, maybe you’ve noticed that there are more people affected by homelessness all around the city.

There are over 9,200 homeless people in Toronto, and that number is only going up. Abusive relationships, loss of employment, substance addiction, mental or physical health issues, discrimination, displacement, and so on—homelessness has a range of causes, but its consequences are often the same. Lack of access to proper hygiene and healthcare, hunger, and mental illness are some of the most common factors that endanger homeless people. One of the greatest threats to people experiencing homelessness in Toronto, though, is the winter weather.

We all know that Toronto winters are harsh, with slippery and snowy sidewalks, frigid winds, and air temperatures well below freezing. And for those affected by homelessness without access to shelter, tents and blankets might be all that stand between oneself and these conditions. It should go without saying that winter poses a massive risk of injury, illness, or death to those with nowhere to go when it’s below zero outside. From November 2018 to February 2019, there were 30 recorded deaths on the street, and even more are in danger now if nothing changes.

Refugees and asylum seekers from Syria and Mexico, who have come to represent a disproportionate 36 percent of those affected by homelessness in Toronto, face a particular challenge in winter. Not acclimatised to the North’s bitter cold and snow, they are more vulnerable than any to harm and death when temperatures drop.

With all this in mind, the City of Toronto released a new winter plan for people affected by homelessness in No-

vember. The plan included a new shelter with space for 200 people that opened at Yonge and Finch on November 12, as well as additional spaces for 285 people across the city. For the last six winters, Toronto has allocated increasing resources to homeless shelters and services—but some say that it’s not enough.

There are currently around 7,000 beds spread across 63 shelters set up in Toronto, but they’re almost all taken up. Shelter space for men is at 98 percent capacity, women’s spaces are 99 percent full, and there isn’t any room left at all in family shelters. People affected by homelessness in desperate need of safety, respite, or warmth may be turned away and denied necessities for a healthy or comfortable life. No matter how many new shelters open, occupancy rates never seem to go down, as noted by Toronto’s director of homeless initiatives, Gord Tanner.

And to make matters worse, what shelter space that is available is often dismally inadequate. Last October, Toronto’s shelter system was cuttingly described as “second-tier” by street nurse Cathy Crowe, who released footage of the bare and tightly-packed state of multiple centres across the city.

The situation seems dire. Shelters are inadequate, services and donations aren’t enough, and people are in danger. So, here’s the question: what should Toronto do? A winter plan and respite spaces are a good start, but they’re surface solutions. The shelters, while helpful, are a short-term bandaid slapped over a much deeper problem. Mayor John Tory’s lip service and shortsighted measures look good on paper, but the reality of the situation is that preventable deaths are happening in this city—and all the city can do is set up a few hundred extra cots every winter.

Developing strategies to mitigate the economic and social factors behind homelessness is the only way our government can start to work on a real solution. New shelters and new resources are not a bad thing, but they cost money and time that wouldn’t be spent if more officials publicly recognized and addressed the root problems.

Economically speaking, that means a huge waiting list for housing and a low rental vacancy rate. Over three-quarters of those affected by homelessness in Toronto point to high rent and long wait times for apartments as their major obstacles to shelter and safety, with 94 percent seeking a permanent home without avail. Social issues like addiction, poverty, and racism also lie at the heart of the homelessness emergency. The stigma that people face add to the struggle of being affected by homelessness.

Not to mention the hypocritical hostile architecture in Toronto: while politicians wax distress and dispirit about the homeless crisis, we see more and more armrests on benches, planters on sidewalks, even spikes in front of stores to prevent anyone trying to lie down. The city has also threatened to vacate encampments that provide people with the only shelter they can get. It should be our city’s responsibility to spread awareness, to put more money and more time into long-term solutions, not to act like human beings are mundane municipal inconveniences.

Our city needs to do better, to stop treating people experiencing homelessness like criminals and second-class citizens, to stop ignoring the suffering that happens in this city every day, especially as winter inflicts its toll on the most vulnerable people in the city. Some advocates, including Toronto city councillor Kristyn Wong-Tam, have even called for the declaration of a state of emergency in response to the housing crisis.

And as for your part, reconsider how you view Toronto’s homeless. Drug addiction, mental illness, and poverty are circumstances no one wants to find themselves in, and further stigmatizing and alienating those who experience homelessness will only worsen the problem. Give what money you can to people in need, and constantly hold politicians accountable for their responses to Toronto’s emergency. Homelessness is systemic, and the only way we as a city can tackle this problem is without stigma, without indifference, and most of all, without inaction.

06 OPINIONS

EDITOR | MEG JIANING ZHANG OPINIONS@THESTRAND.CA

Queer for the holidays Fending off isolation over the winter break

illustration

t williams contributor

The more I live, the surer I am that my queerness is not an essence or a set of properties but a way of relating to others. I have been able to become myself because I share relationships, on every level of emotional and physical intimacy, with other queer people. My journey has been about finding recognition, support, and friendship— and offering the same in return. The mere presence of my friends living and growing their own queer existences around me has given me the confidence I need to exist. In short, I can’t do this alone. I can’t be me alone. I know my experience is not universal, but it is mine and I intend to live it fully.

Winter break can be an isolating time for anyone. The structure provided by school or work or both falls away, the pressure of familial obligation mounts, and the cold weather doesn’t necessarily help. I don’t need to explain to you how being queer, in any sense of the word, complicates the situation further. Last year, I returned from the break feeling like a piece of me had been ripped out. I spent the break in restless languish, separated from all the people who form my community. I did not feel like myself until the next semester began.

I know all my friends, all the people I care for, are potentially facing the same dilemma and a host of other dilemmas of which I don’t have experience. Thankfully, some have it better than me and unfortunately, some have it worse.

Either way, I wanted this year to be different for all of us.

I tried my best to make a difference. I took

the time during my holidays to check in, keep in touch, ask after everyone who’d gone home for the break. I did this for my benefit too, because I hate to miss my friends. I’m not a therapist, that’s not what I aim to be, but I’ve figured out my own way of giving support to people after practicing the skill for years. My tools are listening, recognizing, and offering what guidance or comfort I can. Listening is an incredibly difficult skill to master. It requires being able to decenter yourself, show attention, and then ask useful questions. I am not always a good listener, but I know how important it is to be listened to because others listen to me. To recognize someone is to acknowledge their being; that they are truly who they are, despite everything. Being recognized makes you sure that you deserve the best, that your problems are real, and that you are valued. This is also a difficult thing to do because different people have varied needs of recognition. I find that students, myself included, often don’t realize how hard they work to stay afloat in this institution and need that effort recognized more than they know.

The next step is to offer comfort and guidance. I think feeling recognized is a comfort in itself, but it is often insufficient to fully console someone. To comfort a person, I assure them that they are capable of handling the challenges they face and that I am confident in them, or I offer condolences if it seems appropriate. Guidance is always a tricky thing to offer. I have given some people the same advice for years, and it is difficult to know which part of the equation has failed to produce results. Ultimately, it is up to the

| amy jiao

person you are guiding to take your advice or not. Sometimes the best choice is not to guide at all and to trust your friend to make the right decisions on their own.

You can support yourself if you know how, but I feel like the need for another person can never be removed. My friends have empathized with my own experiences while offering perspectives which remind me of my own limitations. Sometimes I simply cannot console myself alone, and I need another presence to support me. Finally, I feel most loved when I am criticized and shown how to be better in a way which affirms my own ability to change.

Though digital technology made my efforts to reach out possible, through texting and social media, I have always felt like there was a distance I couldn’t collapse. The acts of listening, recognizing, and comforting are valuable but only go so far. I could offer my friends my voice and my ear but not my presence. As the break wore on, I felt the distance from my friends get to me more and more. I tried to keep myself from feeling isolated by reading and writing more, but that is no replacement from seeing the people who are important to me regularly.

This year was better. I coped better and I helped more, but there are some things which just have to be endured. This season always reminds me of the relational nature of my queerness.

If it were always winter, I could have never become myself. That I am healthy and whole is further testament to the strength of my queer relationships. So, when I reach out—when I try my best to help—I am making my being actual again, if only in a small way.

OPINIONS 07

@STRANDPAPER THE STRAND | 14 JANUARY 2020

A tale of two cities And neither one is "mine" faith wershba editorial assistant

I’m pressed against the doors of the 6 Train, rumbling past 33 Street and trying not to breathe. The subway isn’t crowded—it’s 11 am on a Sunday during winter break, and the car is close to empty—it’s just that a man has decided to stand uncomfortably close to me, his back inches from my face. It’s as if he somehow sensed that there was an obstacle between him and the door, preventing him from standing flat against it, yet failed to recognize that this obstacle was, in fact, another human being. My eyes flit around. Do I tap his shoulder? Do I clear my throat and ask him to move? Does he really not see me?

As I shift uncomfortably and try to make up my mind, the passenger next to me saves me the trouble. “Hey man, take a step forward for her,” he says. The man in front of me, turning and finally acknowledging my presence, mumbles a hasty “sorry” and moves to an empty seat. A breath of relief escapes my lungs and I quietly thank the man next to me, though I feel vaguely confused and disappointed with myself. Why couldn’t I have done that for myself?

It was a minor inconvenience with an easy fix; why didn’t I ask him to move?

As I exit the train at 28 Street, I feel displaced; hollow; vacant. It’s not that my experience on the subway was abnormal—in New York, you get used to being overlooked and smushed. It was my response to the situation that unsettled me, my feeling unjustified in taking up space in a city that used to be “mine.” My old self would’ve said something, uttered a clear “excuse me” and secured for myself enough space to breathe, yet this new me felt like an imposter, a fake New Yorker who didn’t deserve to be riding the subway in the first place.

What do you do when you’ve lost your sense of “groundedness”, your rooted place in the world? I no longer feel like a New Yorker, yet after three months in Toronto, I don’t feel like a Torontonian, either. Am I destined to be a drifter, floating from place to place without ever touching down?

As I wander the city, I become more aware of just how much I’ve forgotten. The winding routes that used to be patterned in my veins feel foreign and unfamiliar: I walk east when I’m certain that I’m heading west, stopping in my tracks when I hit 3 Avenue instead of Park. When I pull a Metrocard from my wallet and swipe at the 42 Street station, the screen flashes “INSUFFICIENT FARE”, a hollowing reminder of my own insufficiency in a city that hasn't waited for me while I was gone.

Yet some things remain constant, comforts which haven’t changed for as long as I can remember. The ceiling of Grand Central sparkles as it always did, its constellations captivating tourists who stare upwards, their gazes transfixed as I dart between them impatiently. My aunt greets me by the clock that’s been our meeting place since I was eight years old, and she shares stories of my childhood as we sit in a small Greek coffee shop. As I trundle back to the suburbs on the train that evening, the stations pass by in the same order they always have, from Grand Central to Harlem 125 to Yankee E 153…

Maybe I don’t have to settle in a single home.

There are pieces of myself that will always be tied to New York, but there are also new seeds that I’ve sown in Toronto, seeds which will take root and deepen their connection to the earth as time goes on. I can be moved without being shaken, finding the comfort and familiarity that I attribute to New York in new places, and within myself. I am learning to adapt in the face of uncertainty and respond to unfamiliar

situations; I am becoming a fuller person than I’ve ever been before, growing to embrace new places and faces.

Change isn’t a loss; when I leave New York for Toronto, I’m not giving up one home and replacing it with another. Transitions provide opportunities for transformation, evolution, and expansion. Maybe I’m not a New Yorker or a Torontonian—maybe I am both and more. I’m a blend of all the places and sights I’ve known and loved, a kaleidoscope of experiences that grows more complex as my life unfolds.

It’s a long and confusing process to find your “place in the world,” and I often place emphasis on the where rather than the who, the what, and the why. I wonder: Where will I work? Where will I go to graduate school? Where will I choose to call home? Where will I end up in life? I’m beginning to think that home isn’t a physical place at all: rather, it’s a collection of feelings, memories, and people. I’ve tied my sense of home to New York not because it’s where I’m destined to live—it may or may not

MAYBE I DON'T HAVE TO SETTLE IN A SINGLE HOME. THERE ARE PIECES OF MYSELF THAT WILL ALWAYS BE TIED TO NEW YORK, BUT THERE ARE ALSO NEW SEED THAT I'VE SOWN IN TORONTO. be—but because of the childhood memories it contains, the friends and family it holds, and the strong, deep roots of my family tree that have grown in New York soil. The more time I spend in Toronto—making new friends, settling into new spaces, and forming new roles and routines for myself—the more it’s beginning to feel like home.

photos

| faith wershba

08 FEATURES

EDITOR | HADIYYAH KUMA FEATURES@THESTRAND.CA

The Polo effect Ralph Lauren and dream-making VERONIKA ZABELLE NAYIR STAFF WRITER

W

hen watching HBO’s recently released Very Ralph, a documentary which chronicles the genesis and triumph of the Ralph Lauren brand, one is bombarded with image after image of fields and farms. In these landscapes are beautiful people, rural and homely, and they are adorned in denim and flannel. In one photograph children are chasing one another; in the next, they are laying serenely in the grass. It is these things and these landscapes—Colorado, Montauk, cabins, and mountains—that Lauren himself is most inspired by, and they signify, as noted in the film, a kind of anti-fashion.

The sight of a Ralph Lauren advertisement brings to mind the work of the great American photographer Ansel Adams, famed for his images of the American West. There is a quality to Adams’ photographs, where for a split second they look like paintings, glorious and pristine. But I know that they are photographs and that their surreal quality is in part due to the fact that I have never seen his subjects— Yosemite, High Sierra, New Mexico—in person.

Ralph Lauren advertisements have this same majestic quality, but less for reasons of naturalism or grandeur than for the potency of the Ralph Lauren image.

In a Ralph Lauren Country ad, there is a photograph of a white barn. It is a still photograph, and the landscape is empty—no models, no clothing. As this image is displayed on the screen, a voice declares that so strong is this photo that it makes one “want to live in that barn,” and thus, a customer is never “just buying an article of clothing but joining a narrative.”

One of the first things I bought with my own money was a pair of beautiful, oxblood Ralph Lauren gloves as a gift for my mother. I do think that they’re beautiful, just as I think that the white barn is beautiful, but I’m wary about the sort of narrative that the Ralph Lauren brand embraces.

Lauren admits that his brand is centered around great American stories. In the film, memories of his childhood are detailed with anecdotes on cinema, and he cites

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leading man Cary Grant as his hero. Clips from My Darling Clementine and other Western films are included in the reel, and the very origin of Ralph Lauren’s brand owes to the influence of film on his life. His ties, the very first garment sold under his name, stood out due to their wideness, and Lauren adds that they were made wide in the first place because that was the style that he had seen on screen.

Much of the film perpetuates the idea that Lauren’s true love is film.

Interviewees comment on his “cinematic mind”, and it is noted that if Lauren hadn’t gone into fashion, he surely would have become a film producer. His skills

| the rake

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| courtesy of hbo

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@STRANDPAPER THE STRAND | 14 JANUARY 2020

are most evident when regarding the lifestyle image he has created. His brand is not about revealing a beautiful landscape but is more about creating a character to live within it.

Lauren describes his early obsession with a white dinner jacket, one that he says he “saw in the movies but didn’t see in the stores.” His daughter notes that once he puts on this dinner jacket, he becomes Frank Sinatra and when they dance, they are Fred and Ginger.

The Ralph Lauren brand is about playing a part and dressing for it, and whether that be a cowboy or film star, the brand’s ethos is concerned with projection. The critic Judith Thurman notes that the brand is “performance art in which you can participate,” but the Ralph Lauren image falls short when one realizes that it is not about a simple life—it is about an easy one.

On Polo, the best-known Ralph Lauren product line, Thurman notes that its namesake, the sport, is “the most exclusive, kingly sport there is”; it “requires you to own horses and to know how to ride them.” Despite all of the Spaghetti Westerns and cowboy paraphernalia the film has referenced, Ralph Lauren isn’t about cowboys at all, but about equestrianism, and those are two very different things.

Polo is about hobbies and holidays, two things I can’t imagine cowboys do.

I had wondered in my viewing of the film whether Lauren could see the contradiction at hand. When it is noted, in the film, that Ralph “has always loved contradiction,” I held my breath. “…Putting Naomi Campbell in a slinky gold dress and throwing a safari jacket over her shoulders.” I remember that I am watching a fashion documentary.

The fashion designer Jason Wu notes that the Polo shirt is what Americana was to him as an immigrant. The allure of the Ralph Lauren brand is that it represents what one would

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| courtesy of hbo

like to be, a caricature of a very particular kind of American life. The truth is that the Polo will always be sold for the simple fact that it is easier to buy a shirt than a lifestyle.

So even Lauren’s clothes are costumes of a sort. His photographs, unlike the photographs of Ansel Adams, are advertisements and sets, and the people in them are models.

And those are certainly not their clothes.

Richard Cohen’s “POLO-rizing America” considers Lauren’s WASP-y American dream. Cohen writes that the movies opened a window to a world that Ralph did not grow up with, and that his clothes do the same for others.

The problem here is regarding the aspirational. The Ralph Lauren advertisements, the beautiful, white barn for

instance, is not someone’s home, it is someone’s vacation home. It is noted in the film that Lauren dresses according to which one of his many cars he will be driving on a given day. He is also the owner of a ranch where there may just be a white barn like the one in his famed ad, but what is important is that this ranch is only one of his many properties. What we don’t see in a Ralph Lauren advertisement is the fact that these simple pleasures are afforded by success. These simple pleasures are actually things of financial luxury.

The mythology of the Ralph Lauren image is that anyone can enter this life of holiday, but the truth is that these understated things are really things of luxury, that the timeless is only timeless because it is preserved by money.

His natural landscapes are in reality carefully curated, and his lifestyle is a lifestyle fantasy. These simple (marketable) pleasures are only afforded by the kind of success that Lauren himself has had. What is aspiration without attainability?

Naomi Fry notes, quite perfectly, in The New Yorker: “This is a world of ease and abundance, which never reveals the pains taken in its creation.” There is no doubt that people want for the world to be comfortable, but there is something unsettling about a brand that plays a balancing act between wealth on the one hand and leisure on the other. As far as marketing goes, Ralph Lauren has always been a brand of nonchalance, of shrugging at one’s wealth, of displaying those things that are elusive.

This sentiment is touched on towards the end of the film, but only briefly. New York Times fashion critic Vanessa Friedman notes that Ralph Lauren “is not a brand that rewrites.” Lauren has offered, from the very beginning, a reliably traditional, Ivy League-inspired aesthetic, and the brand’s identity has never strayed.

Ralph Lauren is in the business of imagining a beautiful life. I don’t know that there is anything wrong with this.

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| courtesy of bentley

His images are rather easy to love. I’ve spent years loving these things: tennis and clothes, gardens and big dogs, all desirable. And my favourite photograph happens to be an advertisement with Joan Didion in large sunglasses for Céline. I have also loved, equally, the work of fashion writers such as Robin Givhan, Vanessa Friedman, and Judith Thurman (all of whom, to my delight, are featured in the documentary). They’re critics, but I know somehow that they are a part of this Ralph Lauren world.

What I am most unsure about is whether America remains, or ever was, what Lauren presents it to be. Ralph Lauren—the man, the brand—may also believe in this dream, and its simplicity, more than I do.

10 SCIENCE

EDITOR | MICHAL LECKIE SCIENCE@THESTRAND.CA

Climate count-up #3: Food waste Taking a look at Project Drawdown’s solutions to climate change haleema khan contributor

From a young age, my parents trained me to clean my plate after every meal. The large amount of food waste I would see on the conveyor belt in Burwash dining hall in my first year shocked me. Food waste is a big problem globally, responsible for about eight percent of greenhouse gas emissions. Food production consumes a large amount of water, energy, land, and fertilizer, and so reducing food waste is ranked third in Project Drawdown’s solutions for mitigating climate change. In low income regions, food waste generally occurs earlier in the supply chain;

food often spoils in storage or distribution. Food waste in higher income areas mostly occurs later in the process as both consumers and retailers may decline food due to its less-than-perfect appearance. There are posters hung up in Burwash about the impact of food waste, right by the conveyor belt, which is definitely a reasonable effort, but more systematic changes need to be made. Project Drawdown suggests that lower income regions ought to focus their efforts on improving facilities for storage, production, and distribution. In higher income areas, like Toronto, we can make use of food destined for landfills through organizations such as Flashfood, which allows

consumers to purchase food with bruises, discolouration, or approaching expiry dates, at a reduced cost. In making small changes to our consumer behaviour, by limiting food taken from buffets or purchasing food headed to landfills, we can participate in the efforts to reduce the impact of food waste on climate change.

Selected climate change solutions compiled and ranked by Project Drawdown (for the comprehensive list, go to https:// www.drawdown.org/). See the following issue for the next proposed solution.

Top ten of the 2010s in science The most significant scientific discoveries of the past decade dorota borovsky contributor

As another decade comes to a close, we look toward the 20s for more remarkable achievements in science and technology. However, in the spirit of looking to the future, here is a list of ten of the most important discoveries in science and technology from the past decade. These discoveries will surely influence our society in the coming years.

tive therapy for Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV).

This drug is an antiretroviral therapy that combines two drugs (tenofovir and emtricitabine) into one pill, which is taken orally every day. Randomized clinical trials showed that this drug has powerful preventative effects when taken by uninfected, at-risk individuals, but it must be combined with other anti-HIV drugs when taken by HIV-positive individuals. While there is still no cure for HIV, this drug is lowering the risk of HIV transmission in our community.

1. CAR T cells drive forward future of cancer 4. Regenerating space exploration: In an attempt therapy: The FDA and Health Canada approved the first to make space exploration more economical and feasible,

successful CAR T cell therapy, KYMRIAH®, in 2017 for the treatment of acute lymphoblastic leukemia in children and young adults. CAR T cell therapy is a novel immunotherapy which takes the patient’s T cells (a type of immune cell) and modifies the cells’ receptors so they can directly recognize and kill tumour cells, without killing healthy cells. Due to the success of this novel immunotherapy, more CAR T cell therapies are expected to pass clinical trials in the coming decade.

the private company SpaceX, founded by Elon Musk, successfully launched and returned the first reusable rockets and boosters in 2015. The Falcon 9 was the first rocket to return to Earth, and since then, SpaceX has improved its technology and now routinely sends out and brings home its spacecrafts and boosters. The fact that these expensive rockets and boosters can now be reused makes space travel far more economical and may mean that one day, we’ll be hopping onto spacecrafts as easily as we travel by plane.

7. Cutting into DNA: The CRISPR-Cas9 DNA ed-

iting mechanism was first suggested in 2012 to be adopted as a gene editing tool in humans. It cuts DNA at precise locations—“fixing”, in effect, the genome—and therefore can be used in medicine to treat diseases caused by genetic mutations. In 2015, a group in China announced they had successfully used CRISPR-Cas9 to edit the genome of a human embryo. While this is fascinating, it has now sparked the debate about the ethics of modifying the DNA of embryos, which will surely grow as we come to understand more about CRISPR and its applications.

8, The final piece of the puzzle: In 2012, teams at

CERN’s Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland announced that they had finally detected the Higgs boson particle. This fundamental particle is associated with the Higgs field, a ubiquitous quantum field which gives all particles their mass. The discovery of this particle has filled in the final piece of the Standard Model theory, which describes three of the four fundamental forces of physics and all known elementary particles.

2. Of human origins: In 2017, an archaeological 5. Changing your fate: Early in 2017, an interesting 9. Our future home?: Given our current environmenteam discovered a cave in Morocco which contained Homo sapiens remains dating back 300,000 years. This fascinating discovery contradicts earlier research which suggested our species arose approximately 200,000 years ago, and the location of the discovery suggests humans did not only come from East Africa, as was previously suggested, but our earliest ancestors likely evolved across all of Africa.

2. Shedding light on black holes: Much excitement surrounded the announcement from Harvard University just this past year, which revealed, for the first time, what a black hole actually looks like. This incredible image is the first direct proof and confirmation that black holes are real; beforehand, they were only theorized by general relativity. This work will inform future studies of the physical origins of black hole flares and help us understand the characteristics of black holes.

3. HIV preventative treatment: In 2012, the medication Truvada was approved by the FDA as a preventa-

medical discovery came from the University of Pennsylvania that might revolutionize healing and regenerative medicine. Researchers were able to change myofibroblasts (cells which result in scarring) into fat cells. This resulted in less scarring and more skin regeneration. This may be revolutionary for healing of tissue after heart attacks (which result in lots of damaging scars) and in skincare to slow down the aging process.

6. Brain-y computers: In 2014, a group of researchers from IBM released SyNAPSE—a computer chip that works similarly to the human brain. The chip contains 4096 neurosynaptic cores, 1 million neurons, 256 million synapses, and runs only on 70mW of power—the equivalent of a small battery. When 16 of these chips were combined onto a circuit board, 16 million programmable neurons and 4 billion programmable synapses simulated the connections made in our own brains. This is an enormous step forward for computing, programming, and creating a computer which will work like our brains.

tal status and growing population, this final discovery may prove the most important of this decade. In 2016, the first planets in the TRAPPIST-1 star system were identified.

There are seven planets which surround a cool dwarf star that is twelve times smaller than our own star—the Sun. Of these planets, three are Earth-sized and are found in the habitable zone, meaning they have the necessary characteristics to support liquid water, the key to life. And the best part? The star system is only a meager 39 light years away from us! But, of course, refer to the Climate Count-Up for ways to save our current home!

In conclusion, the future is looking bright. In the past ten years, we have made remarkable advancements in medicine, computing technology, physics, and space exploration. We are only limited by our imaginations in terms of what we can achieve: no particle is too small and no planet is too distant for us to discover.

PHOTO | SPACEX, PHILLIP GUNZ, / MAX PLANCK INSTITUTE FOR EVOLUTIONARY ANTHROPOLOGY, TECHNOLOGY NETWORKS, SHUTTERSTOCK

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@STRANDPAPER THE STRAND | 14 JANUARY 2020

In defense of Twilight It’s not that bad, you’re just misogynistic ABBIE MOSER ARTS AND CULTURE EDITOR

Some movies, books, and songs are just easy targets to poke fun at. As pop culture cycles through content, we see an endless stream of hype, arguments, backlash, controversies, and classic trolling of new media. Films such as the up and coming Sonic the Hedgehog and the newly released Cats know this cycle all too well as mass public mockery has forced them to revise their work.

However, no piece of pop culture has been crafted into a punching bag by the public as much as The Twilight Saga has.

While Twilight is no beautiful tome of language, the criticism and outright hatred it received was amplified simply because teenage girls really enjoyed it. As Twilight’s popularity grew, think-piece upon think-piece began to dominate the online field as grown men gave their strong opinions held with loose logic and validity as to why a franchise for young women is the absolute worst thing to exist. Yes, Stephenie Meyer altered and appropriated the history of the Quileute people to further the series and the CGI baby in Breaking Dawn Part Two is incredibly terrifying; however, the former is often not mentioned when discussing reasons to detest this piece of work.

Our infamous protagonist Bella Swan is often the centre of attack in anti-Twilight discourse for being a dull character. This is not only false, but it’s slander at its finest. Bella is a great character, she just isn’t a Manic Pixie Dream Girl and doesn’t cater to all the men in her life. This made her less desirable to the male audience and more desirable to the female audience because women could relate to her. Newsflash, men: not constantly smiling and having complex emotions that aren’t always centered on ensuring eccentric entertainment doesn’t make you a dull person— it’s just an aspect of basic human existence. Bella is an incredibly well-rounded teenage girl: she’s sure of herself, empathetic, stubborn in the best possible ways, brave, and is willing to sacrifice her life for the well-being of her friends, family, and the love of her life. Acting as the main source of drama throughout the first two novels, Edward Cullen truly did put her through hell as he both emotionally and geographically tried to distance himself from her in what he believed was an act to ensure her safety. Bella was able to forgive him for this and look past it, not because he manipulated her into doing so, but because she understands that he is capable of change, which we see as his character grows and develops throughout the series. Bella is an incredibly interesting character; she lacks self-esteem as she doesn’t feel worthy of Edward’s love but is filled with confidence as she endlessly stands up for herself throughout the series. Bella continually stands up to, defends herself against, and sasses ancient vampires who could kill her—a seventeen-year-old—with a swift flick of their wrist. She even punched a werewolf in the face.

Arguably, she did make a few questionable choices throughout the series. Most notably, in New Moon we see her recklessly ride motorcycles which leads to a few crashes, and she jumps off a cliff (depending on who you ask, that last one may or may not be a suicide attempt). Given that this all occurs not too long after Edward and the rest of the Cullens move away, this is typically used as ammo as to why Bella is such a terrible role model for young girls. First of all, there is no universal consensus as to what a good role model, especially a good teen role model, is. Different virtues, characteristics, actions, behaviour, and aspects of success that are deemed to be essential qualities of a good role model vary from person to person. While fictional characters can be role models, that doesn’t necessitate that they should be. They are ultimately just existing for your own entertainment, they aren’t real people, so the characters will do things that are questionable if the author believes that unsettling actions will captivate their readers and allow them

to sell more books. I’m not suggesting that the behaviour or actions of fictional literary characters should be dismissed and accepted blindly, or that readers shouldn’t be critical of a character’s traits, or that we shouldn’t call out abusive and harmful behaviours in a novel. For Twilight, the entire series was dismissed simply because the leading female character failed to model what adults, who weren’t reading the series, considered to be good and proper behaviour for teenage girls.

Yes, some of Bella’s actions are not the most remarkable, but she’s a teenage girl, and we all do stupid things as teenagers. Part of why the series is so important is because Meyer is able to capture adolescents in such an authentic manner.

With an Italian vampire mafia and vampirehuman hybrid babies, Twilight looks nothing like a typical adolescent experience, but Meyer is able to illustrate exactly what a run-of-the mill teenage life is like. Every problem was life or death, each emotion was felt to dramatic extremes. Yes, the series is melodramatic and cheesy, but so are literally all teenagers. Meyer captures the lack of autonomy that teens are given as Bella is essentially forced to live with her father because her mother chose to hit the road and travel with her minor league baseball-playing boyfriend. Like most teenagers, Bella feels trapped in her life, presented with promises of love, happiness, and a future, but is stuck in a place where she doesn’t get to decide how to attain these aspects of life. Bella is able to achieve ultimate agency as she decides to become a vampire. Early on, this desire and choice is presented to Bella, and she makes her choice, gets what she wants, and enjoys it. The choice to be vampire becomes so provocative in the series, as it is something that none of the vampires we see got to choose, it was simply something that was done to them without consent. Bella’s ability to make the sound decision on this life-changing moment disrupts the narrative of many vampire books and movies. She always knows what she wants, does everything she can to get it, and never regrets her decisions.

Yes, it’s really weird that Edward watches her as she sleeps, but he never watches her undress or looks at her naked. Once Bella knows that this is happening, she gives him full permission to continue watching her because she’s just freaky. In Midnight Sun, which is the first novel of the series but in Edward’s perspective, Edward reconciles that what he’s doing is wrong. He hates himself for it and has a huge internal struggle on interacting with her; he views himself as a monster and ultimately wants her to do better. The criticism on this specific behaviour is justified, but if you’re going to slander Edward then you better do the same to Scott Pilgrim of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World as he stalks Ramona Flowers at a party they both attended until she leaves, and to Angel of Buff the Vampire Slayer, an adult vampire who watches teenage Buffy as she sleeps and inevitably has a romantic relationship with her. The former and latter didn’t receive the moral outrage that Twilight did, and it’s not because they weren’t popular, it’s because they were created by men and not a working mother.

The Twilight Saga has its faults and problems, and I’m not necessarily saying it’s a literary masterpiece—all I’m saying is that it’s really not that bad.

Twilight wasn’t hated because it was popular or because of its flaws, but because of who it was popular with. The degrading backlash to Twilight was mostly informed by the fact that in order to experience the novel or film, you had to engage with a feminine space, with a piece of work that was created for the sole purpose of indulging in the fantasies of teenage girls and making them happy.

At its core, the series is about characters who don’t gain power over one another, but instead learn to live with who they are, and what they want. As the series ends with all of the characters ultimately being happy, whether they like it or not, this is something that people can and aspire to relate to.

This Film Should Be Played Loud: Mountaintop: Neil Young with Crazy Horse Saturday, January 18 Doors open: 8:15 pm, Screening: 9:15 pm Hot Docs Ted Rogers Cinema Be a fly on the wall at the ultimate recording session as folk-rock icon Neil Young and his band Crazy Horse cut their first album in seven years. Weaving together footage picked up by cameras in the studio, this raw and unfiltered look at the process of making a record allows us to bear witness to the laughter, passion, tensions, and love between a rock-and-roll band that’s been together for 50 years. A must-see for any Young fan.

Tickets are required.

Come Up To My Room January 16-19 The Gladstone Hotel The historic spaces of the Gladstone Hotel come alive with 24 site-specific art and design installations created by over 47 artists!

Walk into a universe of art and design at C ​ ome Up To My Room (CUTMR) 2020, the Gladstone Hotel’s annual fourday alternative design exhibition running from J​anuary 16-19. ​Find out what happens when art and design intersect through site-specific installations within the walls of a historic hotel​. Visitors can explore, discover, and engage in conversations with the artists on site​throughout the festival. Different from the hotel’s 37 permanent artist-designed hotel rooms (some of which will also be on display!), CUTMR presents temporary projects that occupy and alter spaces in dramatic, conceptual, and experimental ways.

IDER Saturday, January 18, 7:30 pm The Drake Underground To understand the symbiosis that exists between IDER, you need only learn how the London electro-pop duo’s debut album, Emotional Education, got its name. “It came from a song that I had written,” says Megan Markwick, referring to the raw electro-pop anthem ‘Saddest Generation’, a beautiful examination of millennial malaise. “But then Lily had put in that lyric—‘Where’s the emotional education we’re all looking for?’—and it was a penny drop moment. It’s such a perfect example of the way we work, this partnership that is all entangled.”

“Emotional Education is what we give each other,” adds Lily Somerville, “and what we’re going to give you with this album.”

Tickets are required in advance.

Our Beautiful City: Tackling Toronto's Homelessness Crisis: Lowdown Tracks Screening and Panel Monday, January 27, 6:30 pm Hot Docs Ted Rogers Cinema Part of the ticket proceeds for this event will be donated to Sistering, a multi-service agency for at-risk, socially isolated women in Toronto who are homeless or precariously housed.

With temperatures plummeting, and the city's homeless population reaching record levels, join Toronto Life magazine, city councillor Kristyn Wong-Tam, and former Toronto Mayor Barbara Hall for this special screening-and-discussion of Shelley Saywell's acclaimed documentary on Toronto's homeless street musicians. A hit at Hot Docs 2015, Lowdown Tracks shines a light on the struggles our city's homeless face—be it in shelters, with social programs, or with addictions and abuse— while celebrating the stirring soundtrack that is composed every day at our city's ferry docks and freeway underpasses, and rooming houses and rooftops.

Stick around as award-winning Toronto Life contributor Nicholas Hune-Brown sits down with Wong-Tam and Hall, two of Toronto's leading experts on the public policy and humanitarian dimensions of homelessness, to discuss what it will take to for a city obsessed with growth and prosperity to finally start supporting its most vulnerable residents.

12 ARTS AND CULTURE

EDITOR | ABBIE MOSER ARTSANDCULTURE@THESTRAND.CA

The Strand’s best of the decade SOURCE IMAGES COURTESY OF RESPECTIVE RIGHTS HOLDERS HADIYYAH KUMA FEATURES EDITOR

ELLEN GRACE ASSOCIATE STRANDED EDITOR

Best song of the decade? “i” by Kendrick Lamar (2014)

Best song of the decade?

“Walk Like Thunder” by Kimya Dawson (2011)

So torn because there were six other Kendrick songs I could've chosen (Alright, How Much A Dollar Cost, HUMBLE, and Bitch Don't Kill My Vibe were close), but “i” is truly a victory. Besides being a jam, it's an exclamation of power, reclamation, and resistance.

Best album of the decade?

DAMN. by Kendrick Lamar (2017) Not only the work of a lyrical GENIUS, DAMN. is a critical celebration of self and community. By 2017, we've got very little hope left for humanity and everyone knows it. Kendrick is aware of it, and every song is touched by the concept of fallen heroes and false gods.

Best album of the decade?

The Idler Wheel Is Wiser Than the Driver of the Screw and Whipping Cords Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do by Fiona Apple (2012) The only album I thought was cool in ninth grade that I still think is cool now.

TIAN REN CHU ASSOCIATE SCIENCE EDITOR

Best book of the decade?

A Visit from the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan (2010) I was assigned this book in an English course last semester, and it definitely qualifies as my favourite of my mandatory readings! The novel has a witty humour and does a great job of exposing human nature in a deeply honest way. The language is also very emotionally powerful. Aside from that, I think this novel stands as an icon of the 2010s because it deals with the topics of social media and digitalization in a brilliant and innovative manner.

Best movie of the decade?

God Help the Girl (2014) It's the perfect way to make your friends watch a musical without them thinking they're watching a musical.

Best TV show of the decade?

Nathan For You

The best blend of essay, photography, and poetics that I have ever read. Citizen is a meditation on Black identity in America, told from honest, immersive first-person POV writing. Rankine is a treasure, and you should read her work at least once in your life.

The only TV show starring someone who graduated from Canada's top business school with really good grades.

REBECCA GAO EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Best other (meme, tabloid, pop culture moment, etc.) of the decade?

When Solange punched Jay-Z in the elevator at the Met Gala 2014.

Much like the “Kanye interrupting Taylor Swift” incident in 2009, Solange punching Jay-Z in that elevator spawned years of gossip, feuds, and so much good music. The reason for the punch (unknown at the time)—Jay-Z’s infidelity—inspired Beyoncé’s Lemonade, Solange’s Seat At The Table, and (a lot less iconic) Jay Z’s 4:44. Though the drama surrounding that night didn’t last all decade, the art that came out of that one moment shaped the music of the late 2010s.

Best trend of the decade?

Oat milk.

They go with everything. They're cute AND comfy. Hello??

Best other (meme, tabloid, pop culture moment, etc.) of the decade?

The “this is fine” meme.

Because it is not fine.

Editors Note: Yeah, we know this movie didn’t come out in the 2010s, but it did come out on DVD in 2010, so I bet plenty of you watched New Moon in 2010 on a DVD that your Dad rented you from Blockbuster, so it counts as part of this decade, okay?

Best book of the decade?

The First Bad Man by Miranda July (2015)

Best book of the decade?

Citizen by Claudia Rankine (2014)

Best trend of the decade?

Mom jeans’ comeback. Don’t @ me.

accurate, articulate, and amazing depiction of depression in a film. As the camera pans, we see the season changing despite her inactivity as we hear the lyrics,“So tell me when my sorrows over / You’re the reason why I’m closed / Tell me when you hear me falling / There’s a possibility it wouldn’t show,” which hits hard. Thank you to this scene specifically for allowing eleven-year-old me to realize I was depressed and going through it.

Best song of the decade?

“Nobody” by Mitski (2018) Mitski made loneliness—whether it’s self-inflicted or not is up to you— into a straight up bop.

She! Did! That!

Best other (meme, tabloid, pop culture moment, etc.) of the decade?

The re-emergence of Dolly Parton through Dumplin’ and Dolly Parton’s Heartrings.

Best other (meme, tabloid, pop culture moment, etc.) of the decade?

Cake Boss getting arrested and saying, "You can't arrest me I'm the Cake Boss."

I will stand by Dolly until the day I die, and even then, I’ll still be rooting for her when I’m a ghost. Her ability to tell stories in and out of songs is both beautiful and iconic.

Epic.

ABBIE MOSER ARTS AND CULTURE EDITOR

Best movie of the decade?

The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009) For a more in-depth, but still too short because I’ve got a lot more to say, defense of Twilight see my article in this issue. The scene where Bella is sitting beside her window as time passes but she remains still after Edward leaves her is the most

ARTS AND CULTURE 13

@STRANDPAPER THE STRAND | 14 JANUARY 2020

The Strand’s best of 2019 HADIYYAH KUMA FEATURES EDITOR

ELLEN GRACE ASSOCIATE STRANDED EDITOR

Best movie of the year?

Parasite

Best movie of the year?

Cats (2019)

Relevant take on capitalism and how much it screws over EVERYONE. Incredible directing, acting, everything.

Original and full of nuance. Time for a revolution, amirite? (I'm right)

Digital fur technology!

Best album of the year?

Magdalene by FKA Twigs Magdalene is a tender, dream-like, holy take on heartbreak and self-love. 'cellophane' and 'sad day' are my favourites.

Best other (trend, pop culture moment, meme, etc.) of the year?

I realized that cleaning your room is actually a cool and fun thing to do.

It's nice, you feel calm. It took me a while to come to this realization, but having a clean room actually slaps.

Best album of the year?

Crush on Me by Sir Babygirl Sir Babygirl is the bisexual king we all needed. Someday I hope to have a crush on myself like she does.

Best TV show of the year?

The L Word: Generation Q The L word will always be a special kind of trash, but seeing so many people post about how when the original show aired they had to watch it in secret or while in the closet but now get to watch the reboot in a world where they feel like they can be themselves makes me very happy. Also, Bette Porter is my true love, and I personally cannot wait for her to be mayor of Los Angeles.

Best other (trend, pop culture moment, meme, etc.) of the year?

I realized that cleaning your room is actually a cool and fun thing to do.

Best album of the year?

Atlanta Millionaires Club by Faye Webster

ABBIE MOSER ARTS AND CULTURE EDITOR

The 21-year-old singer mixes pedal steel and rap in her third album filled with a serene twinge. Alongside mellow electric pianos, silky horns, and drowsy guitars, Webster tells her tales of heartache and desperation in the southern United States.

Best movie of the year?

Greener Grass

Best TV show of the year?

On Becoming a God in Central Florida

It’s unlike any film I’ve ever seen while tackling ideas of class, identity, and suburbia that still makes the film seem familiar. It’s funny, absurd, unpredictable, and incredibly whack.

The social commentary is so well done.

It’s a bit of a dense film but it can still be enjoyed regardless of how you look at it or the degree of one’s social and political education. I want so badly to live in a world where kids can turn into dogs.

Mixing humor, tragedy, anxiety, and desperation Kristen Dunst emerges as a symbol of strength when she’s forced to find her power after capitalist scumbags push her back against a wall.

Considering how whack the story is, and how dark it is while being so consistently funny speaks volumes to the excellence of the writing.

It's nice, you feel calm. It took me a while to come to this realization, but having a clean room actually slaps.

A review of Cats MEOW MEOW MEOW (3/3 meows, a rejoiceful scarf flick, a puff of smoke) TAMARA FROOMAN CONTRIBTOR

CGI from Scorpion King. I don’t know if I’m five minutes in or There are many questions I could five hours. Nothing matters ask about Cats (2019): How did they anymore. This is the death of all manage to make Taylor Swift the least things. Fuck it.” sexy cast member when she should —David Farrier, Twitter have automatically been the sexiest?

How did all four hired accent coaches fail so spectacularly that all the nonBritish cast members sounded like seven-year-old Americans who have just seen ’Arry Pawhtah for the first time? Why is there a human-sized bar that only serves milk on tap?

Who decided how many times Rebel Wilson can unzip her catsuit to reveal another catsuit? Who was responsible for the army of tiny CGI-humanbeetles?

But when it comes down to it, my main question is: what is left to say about Cats (2019)? The discourse has been raging since the trailer was released last November, setting the stage for increasingly over-the-top reactions, escalating in theatrical absurdity as each new review attempted to one-up the last.

The result is a caricatured spectacle of performative reactions, and it’s exactly what I am absolutely fucking HERE for.

“I Have Seen Sights No Human the space-time continuum. Linear Should See.” time and normative geographies are —Alex Crans, io9 discarded from the outset, alongside “Cats is a nightmare that won't end.”

—Jill Gutowitz, ELLE.com

“For the most part, “Cats” is both a horror and an endurance test, a dispatch from some neon- “Watching Cats is like a descent drenched netherworld where the into madness.” ghastly is inextricable from the —Matt Goldberg, Collider tedious.”

—Justin Chang, The Los Angeles Times “Cats will haunt viewers for generations: This is middlebrow film-making at its most hubristic; “Instead of taking Sonic the too inelegant to coast on spectacle Hedgehog’s route away from alone, it’s not subversive enough the uncanny valley, Cats buries to be considered truly camp its head deep in its human-cat either.” hybrid world.”

—Simran Hans, The Guardian — Jennifer Bisset, C/Net

“A sinister, all-time disaster “Forget worst movie of the year: from which no one emerges “Cats” is the biggest disaster unscathed.” of the decade, and possibly —Tim Robey, The Telegraph thus far in the millennium.

It's “Battlefield Earth” with whiskers.”

“It is tough to pinpoint when —Adam Graham, Detroit News “Cats is impossible to review.” the kitschapalooza called “Cats” —Adam Nayman, The Ringer reaches its zenith or its nadir, which are one and the same. The There is simply no way any movie choices are legion.”

“Cats is the worst thing to could be as catastrophically atrocious, —Manohla Dargis, The New happen to cats since dogs.” as world-endingly cataclysmic as York Times —Edward Douglas, The Beat online meme culture predicted Cats

“This is the worst thing I’ve ever seen. This is what death feels like. This is the worst ketamine trip. This is awful. This is not a film, this is chaos. This is the

“Every time these horny fur demons tongue a milk bowl and start moaning I was certain the FBI would raid the theater” —Kyle Buchanan, Twitter

(2019) would be. But that’s the beauty of this story. Is Cats (2019) camp? Ultimately not, but the discourse surrounding it certainly is.

The movie itself is merely unsettling and unmemorably mediocre, useful primarily as an illustrative example of the postmodern distortion of

the cat-in-a-bag abandoned in an alleyway during the exposition.

The bag, initially cat-sized, expands arithmetically into a human-sized bag while the set expands simultaneously, but at a different, exponential ratio. Physical and psychological perspective, it appears, will be malleable, unreliable, and constantly in flux for the remainder of the film.

Set in a time period that swings wildly between the 1970s, the 1890s, and 1795, the cats will sometimes be human-sized, sometimes be cat-sized, and sometimes they will resemble a one-foot tall marching band parading along in a room that suddenly and inexplicably transforms into a train bridge over a river. No matter where they are, they will manage to exude an atmosphere sinister in the way that only a vertical creature depicting a horizontal creature can be. The inability of human joints and proportions to ever successfully approximate the movements of a quadruped animal is representative of the film as a whole: doomed to fail—an inevitability stemming from the snowball effect of early online discourse, a self-fulfilling prophecy of epic proportion. In a world without meme culture, would Cats (2019) have been more successful? Probably not. Perhaps it would have faded into obscurity under the radar. Instead, it was fated to crash and burn; the scapegoat of the month for millennial angst, universally sacrificed as an outlet for our pent-up rage, something we can demolish without remorse, without guilt, without ethical consideration. Cats (2019) united us for one glorious moment in time, and though it may fade into memory, we are not alone in the moonlight.

14 STRANDED

EDITOR | MAX NISBETH STRANDED@THESTRAND.CA

Stranded archive: Rotman finance bro claims “climate change good for Canadian economy” in recent case competition increased temperatures. “I planned on presenting an iceberg that I brought back from my trip to Newfoundland, but when I opened my briefcase at While hunting through the Strand Office, a room the presentation, the ice had melted and a cod was in the Goldring Student Centre that I have DEFI- splashing around in it.”* Flinshaw claimed that he NITELY been to before, I came across the follow- was able to quickly turn this situation around by expounding that iceberg water was very good for ing article, dated back to 1976: the skin and could be sold as a natural remedy for Jake Flinshaw returned from this weekend’s a number of things. The judges applauded, apparcase competition at the TD Center for Finance ently.

Stuff, sporting a shiny 8th place ranking after preWhen Stranded inquired about the potential senting a case that would baffle many. Flinshaw dangers of climate change, Flinshaw quickly disreached out to Stranded in an attempt to boost the reach of his achievement and network more pro- missed the issue: “None of these claims have been actively: “My case argued that climate change will proven yet, it’s just crack science… besides, I’m actually stimulate growth in the Canadian econ- not going to be affected by it, Canada will just be omy.” Flinshaw did not seem to understand that warmer, I can go on Spring break without leaving Stranded published satire, and when informed, the country and it’ll be awesome!” james hannay staff writer

said that he was aware but that we were the only Flinshaw was confident that he could secure “news” outlet that hadn’t published a similar article his first round of investors, claiming that he had in support of climate change at this point. made some great connections at the case competiFlinshaw’s case revolved around increased tour- tion and could see himself being considered for the ism due to rising temperatures. “People have this 30 under 30, or at least the 20 under 20. “I think perception in their mind that Canada is cold, and I will be the next big Canadian entrepreneur once climate change really reverses that as the tempera- the weather warms 1-2 degrees.” ture gets warmer.” Flinshaw pitched the building Stranded decided to check in on Flinshaw in of hundreds of new hotels and resorts in locations all around the country that would “benefit” from 2020, and he has posted a Kickstarter to gain in-

illustration

| mia carnavale

vestors for his business to send people equipped with flame-proof suits on “eco-tours” of the wildfires in Alberta and British Columbia. So far, the campaign has raised $5, all of which were donated

by Flinshaw himself. *Writer’s note: for those not born before this period, a cod is a fish that was heavily overfished and was a direct effect of the assembly of the Anthropocene.

The man who took Toronto by (shit)storm Where did you come from, where did you go, where did you come from Peepeepoopoo Man? anonymous artist name, like Poopsy, fell through after a lack of traction on Kickstarter. In sum, Peepeepoopoo Man just wanted to be a modern art The case of Peepeepoopoo Man is as gross as it icon through an offensive, unconventional means. is unprecedented. Though humorous, the fear it Unfortunately, the means was too disgusting and evoked permits this strange series of events to be fear-provoking to earn him any resume-worthy remembered as a case of low-impact (yet wides- claim to fame. cale) terrorism. This article in no way condones Brain in a vat simulation: This is a rising philthe act of dumping feces on others and should be of no liability when a new TikTok trend of dump- osophical idea, according to my TA. The concept is as follows: you are nothing but a brain hooked ing poo on strangers begins. up to a computer that simulates the experiences Most dinners at home are animated with my of “reality”. So, no one got poop dumped over mother’s comments on the colourful conspiracy their heads. The computer-operators out there just theories found on the internet. Though the Hong wanted to see whether you’d be the sort to pack an Kong protests are her favorite topic, the case of extra set of clothing to school, or whether you’re Peepeepoopoo Man inspired her to come up with one of those kids who takes advantage of an empty some theories of her own. The list below consists Robarts. The computer lords need to have some of her greatest (but by no means most plausible) fun, too. hits.

A big Hollywood PR stunt: There was no real Art show gone awry: Some guy was trying poo, and all the parties involved (victims, cops, to become a modern art icon—the sort that in- yellow-hat-donning perpetrator) were paid actors. cludes minimal effort but maximal virality. The Remember how twerking girl with yoga pants on construction hat and blue bucket were both slated fire was a viral stunt staged by Jimmy Kimmel? to be part of the artist’s “signature look”. Plans to How about Perez Hilton’s photo of Justin Bieber’s launch a fashion brand selling both items under an doppelganger eating a burrito sideways? Only one skyler cheung conspiracy theorist

Hollywood film franchise (aside from Fast and Furious) can afford to dump this much money on a stunt so controversial and low-brow. My bet is that the folks behind Paul Blart: Mall Cop are to blame.

Despite its five percent approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes, Paul Blart: Mall Cop still made $108 million worldwide at the box office. Who says Paul Blart: Mall Cop 3 wasn’t on its way?

The confusing case of Peepeepoopoo Man has united Torontonians by the tangled threads of fear and amusement. Instead of discussing the very overused topic of course grades, the mutual fascination of Peepeepoopoo Man gave friends, families, and even strangers a new topic to build resounding connections. This case did what every NBA team hires consultants to try to do: it united people and kept them engaged. Luckily, this saga will not persist as American sports teams have. It is true, we can have good conversations without living in fear of getting dredged in poo. Yes, you can come up to me any time and talk about anything you want (including any sports team or academic topic that I don’t yet follow). I’ll try my best to make our peepeepoopoo-less conversation meaningful.

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@STRANDPAPER THE STRAND | 14 JANUARY 2020

The things that Twitter thinks that I am interested in and what that says about Twitter and what that says about me beck siegal staff writer

ANTI-FA This stands for anti-fascist and it means Twitter thinks I don’t like fascists and my self-analysis here is that Twitter is correct and I don’t like fascists.

Federal Bureau of Investigation I don’t like this.

Aaron Donald I had to Google who this person is. He’s a football player. Twitter thinks I am interested in him. Selfanalysis: maybe I’m insecure about my masculinity and read sports stuff I’m not actually interested in.

Jane Austen True.

Adult Education I’m an adult getting an education right now, I guess, Animation Animation Animation Does this mean I like animation three times more than Aaron Donald? That’s probably true. I don’t like animation that much.

Bolivia’s Government Issue Did the CIA write this one? My new title idea is: “The things that Twitter thinks that I am interested in and what that says about the CIA and what THAT says about ME (working title)” This means that I don’t like the CIA.

I didn’t like it that much. I also saw Ocean’s 11 at that festival which I also didn’t like that much. But Christie Pits is nice. Mostly because it has such a funny name. I also bought a copy of the book The Elegance of the Hedgehog which is also set in France, for 75 cents at a Robarts book sale, but I haven’t read it yet. BTW that book was originally written in French. Freaky. This is probably why Twitter thinks I’m interested in Travel To: France

Egg I don’t like this.

Hello Hi.

Political Body Political Corruption Worldwide Political Figures Political Issues I spend a lot of time thinking about Political Corruption Worldwide because of Political Figures in the Political Body with regard to Political Issues.

Do you think Twitter can read my mind? That’s pretty scary to me if it’s true. Otherwise it is ok.

Trading Card Games Twitter probably knows this is an interest of mine because once backstage during my high school production of Hairspray, my technical theater director tried to teach me Magic: the Gathering but I got bored and started reading House of Leaves (OK book) instead. It is so nice of Twitter to remember this for me. photo

| pixabay

Books Books Books and literature Books news and general info books. Books. Books. BOOKSBOOKS. Dalai Lama I kind of feel like it is offensive to be interested in the Dalai Lama on Twitter.

Video Games I’m interested in Video Games. For example: I recently made a Sim of Gertrude Stein in the Sims 4. I bought the Sims 4 when I had a dream that I bought the Sims 4 and woke up and saw that it was on sale for 80 percent off. Gertrude Stein was a fascist sympathizer. Here, recall ANTI-FA. This list is curated for me. For this moment. For this analysis. One wonders how much Twitter knows.

How different my thought is from its. Does it even need to read my mind? Or is the structure of its thoughts already so adapted, so identical to myself that my self is but a redundancy.

WEST Towards the setting sun. This is sad and it reminds me of the way in which Twitter has surpassed me.

It reminds me of colonialism, of course, but it also reminds me that the day of my life, the day of human usefulness, draws to a close. Still, despite this, it is comforting to know that even when the day is drawing to an end, a new day begins. This is the hope Twitter creates for us. Even when the sunset feels like an end, it is also a beginning. Maybe not a beginning for me, for you, or for us, but a beginning for the thing that knows me in this way, in a way I never could have anticipated. How would I remember to be hopeful without Twitter there for me, hoping for me? Maybe I do like Egg, maybe I do like Federal Bureau of Investigation. Who am I to say? Somewhere, a sun is rising. If you go far enough West, it is just East.

Water Yummmm. photo

Travel To: France I’ve never been to France, but this interest is probably because I once saw the movie Amelie which is set in France, at the Christie Pits Film Festival.

| pexels

16 STRANDED

@STRANDPAPER THE STRAND | 14 JANUARY 2020

New Decade’s resolutions max nisbeth stranded editor

Wow. Time flies, doesn’t it? That’s a rhetorical question. Time can’t fly. It’s not a physical object. Well, at least not in our dimension. Hi, I’m Angela Merkel—just kidding—I’m Max Nisbeth, the Stranded Editor. Every year I make a New Year’s resolution because, like you, I’m susceptible to social conformity and the desire to fail at personal objectives. My resolution last year was to “stop using public toilets.”

Weird, right? I was at this party where everyone wrote a resolution and put it into a big bowl whose purpose, I assume, was for table-side salads or collecting socks on laundry day. The point is, before midnight we all picked a random resolution from the bowl and I got “stop using public toilets,” which is ironic because I wrote that one. All the more unfortunate it was when I had to, as they say, drop the kids off at the pool during the St. Patrick’s Day parade. Whether you consider the McDonald’s at Yonge and Charles a public toilet, I’ll let you decide, but my God did it hurt… to realize I had let myself down. Why I’m telling you this is because New Year’s resolutions should be thought out and not written down last minute and thrown into a Friendsgiving Potluck-type bowl.

Now I’m thinking grand scale! Thinking big! No, not thinking about my favourite shape-shifting movie starring Thomas Hanks, I’m talking about looking at decadelong goals instead of just annual ones! In shifting to this mindset I have laid out for you my New Decade’s resolutions with absolutely no context. Hopefully this inspires you to make your own. Enjoy.

1. Be more self-care oriented.

2. Drop out of my current degree.

3. Prioritize my mental health alongside my physical health.

4. Find a figure like Edward Norton’s character from Rounders and tour through the underground gambling scene in New York to become independently wealthy.

5.Travel.

6. Use the poker money to fund a degree in physical engineering, metaphysics, and anything to do with time travel. Become a master in this field.

7. Eat healthier.

8. Develop a time machine using my esteemed knowledge in physics which conveniently only has enough time juice to go back to one specific moment in time and then bring me back to the present so as to not create further time-rifts or the possibility for alternative time travel opportunities.

9. Finally watch Crazy Rich Asians.

10. Go back in time to December 31, 2018, the party with the punch bowl of resolutions, and burn the house to the ground, saving everyone there.

11. Learn how to speak Portuguese.

12. Travel back to the present to only find out that everyone has been turned into a guinea pig. But we all still wear clothes and do our normal activities. We are just guinea pigs now. And that’s okay.

13. Go to the gym.

Pick a Taylor Swift song to cry to and we’ll tell you which bubble tea you should drink while you cry ellen grace drinking bubble tea while crying to taylor swift enthusiast

“Today Was a Fairytale”: Coffee milk tea, no tapioca, no ice. You need the caffeine to wake up from this dream you’re living in. Life isn’t that magical, which anyone who has tried coffee milk tea would agree. That shit is nasty. photo

| jana zills, edit by ellen grace

freaky and I like it. Sorry that you’re crying about it though. Here’s a comparatively freaky drink.

“Mesén Around”: Listen to “Mesén Around” on Spotify :)))) tag mee in a new post and I’ll repost it <3 Oh god, oh wait this wasn’t supposed to be in there. I crowdsourced this article through the Instagram story question tool and this was an answer I got. Not sure how this guy found my Instagram, or if he likes bubble tea. I’ll keep you updated.

“The Archer”: All the tapioca that’s left over at closing and you have to eat all of them one at a time and think about the choices you’ve made.

“Begin Again”: Mango green tea. Oof, I’ve been there.

I’m sorry. Let’s start with the basics. We’ll build you back up again, I promise.

“Beautiful Ghosts”: Just a cup of grass jelly. Pretend it’s cat grass.

“New Year’s Day”: Brown sugar milk tea, tapioca, half sugar, less ice. This drink is a glistening morning after: it looks pretty and has a sweet warmth to it. If you’re crying to “New Year’s Day”, you’ll need all the warmth you can get.

“False God”: Taro slush, mango popping bubbles. You

“If This Was a Movie”: Wrapped up in your arms and our friends are laughing ....... ‘cause nothing like this ever happened to them ...... oh wait, sorry, I got distracted and forgot to pick a drink. Whatever. If you’re crying to this, you probably don’t even want bubble tea.

I thought you’d be here by now....

“It’s Nice to Have a Friend”: Oreo milk tea. Just like this song, this drink unfortunately exists and attempts (and fails) to make juvenile nostalgia sexy.

“You Are in Love”: Rose milk tea, full sweet, no ice. I firmly believe that anything rose-flavoured tastes like what love would if you could eat it. You can slurp it in the silence and cronch it on the way home. photo

| oouinouin on flickr, edit by ellen grace