Bend Nest February 2016

2 | SPRING 2016 | BENDNEST.COM

Publisher Aaron Switzer Editor Angela Switzer Associate Editor Amanda Klingman Contributing Writers Sherron Lumley Annette Benedetti Kirsteen Wolf Brian Jennings Calendar Editor Hayley Jo Murphy Layout & Design Jennifer Hornstein Cover & Staycation Design Euijian Gray Photography Casa Bay Photography Bend Endurance Academy Leland Pershall Advertising Executives Amanda Klingman Kimberly Morse Ban Tat Chris Larro

cover design Euijian Gray

For advertising, contact advertise@bendnest.com

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BENDNEST.COM | SPRING 2016 | 3

CONTENTS

34 Outside

learn parenting skills and have fun with your children, too!

n parenting skills WEEKLY 2-HOUR GROUPS ave fun with in Bend, Redmond and Sisters your children, too!

Groups are on-going. come join us!

Photo Courtesy of Bend Endurance Academy

UPFRONT

COLUMNS

7 Expert Q&A

30 Adult Time

9 By the Numbers

37 Leaving the Nest

10 Trending

39 Things I’ve Learned

22 Calendar

SECTIONS 12 EDUCATION

Confused by the new Common Core Standards being implemented in your child’s school? Kirsteen Wolf interviews administrators and deciphers the code.

14 FEATURE

Enter the realm of pet therapy with Brian Jennings’ article on the magical benefit of animals.

A place where parents of young children learn ways to make the challenges of parenting easier and where the fun of singing, playing and exploring together is seriously fun.

Weekly 2-hour groups

in Bend, Redmond and Sisters

starting the week of Oct. 19 through Dec. 16 (8-weeks) Linda@together-for-children.org

18 SPECIAL SECTION

No airport required - explore the endless possibilities of a Central Oregon Staycation!

33 HEALTH

When kids are worried about the tragic events they see on the news, parents may seek out tools for how to discuss real-world issues. Annette Benedetti offers useful tips.

www.together-for-chidren.org

ther-for-chidren.org | 541.420.8110 541.420.8110 4 | SPRING 2016 | BENDNEST.COM

bendnest.com

Spring

Editor’s Note

is a Time for Transition

Parents see numerous transitions in the span of the child-rearing years. Seasons come and go, families grow in number and the children take on more responsibility. What may not be as evident is the importance of parents being there through these transitions, showing up when needed and just being available, when not.

Kids all over Central Oregon are lucky to be supported in the classroom with parents playing a bigger role in their child’s education.

Studies show that parent engagement is paramount to success.

(See Trending by Sherron Lumley, page 10). Referring again to the classroom, school-age children in Oregon are being held to more stringent standards. You may have heard of the Common Core State Standards, but may be in the dark when it comes to the details. Kirsteen Wolf uncovers valuable information about what to expect (See Education, page 12). On the sticky subject of talking with kids about tragedy, Annette Benedetti, helps us navigate the way with compassionate tools for helping your child cope (see Health, page 33).

Transitioning your relationship with your older child can be one of the most emotional phases of parenting. Learn how to let go and parent from afar in Leaving the Nest (page 37).

With all this serious stuff, we can’t forget to take time for some good old-fashioned fun.

Try eliminating family stress during Spring Break and check out our Central Oregon Staycation guide. We do live in a world class vacation spot after all!

More on fun…kids get their ya-ya’s out with Bend Endurance Academy’s mountain bike program (see Outdoors, page 34 ).

On another note, with Bend’s moniker of Dogtown, USA, it’s no wonder families in this area are frequently seen accompanied by at least one furry friend. But what about pets caring for children? Find out how therapeutic animals are being seen in clinical settings, where their role as healer is a marvelous phenomena (See Feature, page 14).

No matter your phase of transition, we think you’ll delight in the many articles we have to offer.

Enjoy!

BENDNEST.COM | SPRING 2016 | 5

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Enrich.

Explore.

Expand. Sean

Jennifer B. (JB) Warton, DO

Q

BMC Pediatrician I am trying to wean my 15-month old daughter, since I will be returning to work fulltime soon. We are doing just fine during the day, but at night she demands to be breastfed, cries and will not take any substitute. How will I ever make the transition, so we can all get some rest?

A

: Breastfeeding is a special bonding time for mother and baby and it is easy to see why babies may not want to stop. Going back to work full-time is a common reason to wean a baby, though many mothers choose to keep that last feed of the day, as it usually doesn’t require pumping at work. You going back to work will be a big transition for her and it may be easier to keep it for now. If it is not feasible, I typically recommend cuddle time with Mommy and replacing the breastfeeding time with a comforting item. A good book may also help. You could try having your partner put her to sleep for a few nights to see if she does better. I don’t advise replacing with a bottle, as I recommend weaning from the bottle at 12 months. A sippy cup with milk or a milk alternative could work, though make sure you brush her teeth afterwards. It may take a few weeks to get her used to this routine and there may be some tears, but hopefully, she will learn to bond with you in a different way.

Q

: My 11-year old son seems tired all the time. He comes home from school cranky, and many days, takes a nap before dinner. Even though he does not seem sick, he goes to bed early and many times doesn’t finish his homework.

A

: Fatigue is a common complaint in pediatrics and I see it in kids of all ages. It is a little unusual for an 11-yearold kiddo to come home from school and need a nap; I agree that he sounds excessively tired. When I see kids this way, the first thing I do is a sleep history which includes school, activities, home life, and other sleep hygiene issues such as screen time, caffeine, and bed times. I make sure there isn’t a television in the bedroom, which can interfere with sleep. I also screen for insomnia and then usually check labs to make sure they aren’t anemic, don’t have a thyroid problem, etc. I also

Q & A

recommend parents watch for signs of obstructive sleep apnea like snoring or pauses in breathing. If everything is negative, sometimes I find that kids just have a rough year where they are growing a ton and need a lot of extra sleep. In your case, I would recommend a visit with the pediatrician.

Q

: When is it time to schedule an appointment with a mental health counselor? I am worried that my 7-yearold son may have anxiety. Some days he wants to go to his Tae Kwon Do class, but sometimes he refuses to get out of the car, saying he doesn’t want to go anymore. The same goes for skiing on the weekends. Could therapy help the situation or will that just stress him out?

A

: Being a kid these days can be quite stressful. With all of the demands of school and the extracurricular activities we have them do, I have noticed that I am seeing much more anxiety these days. It can definitely be a balance to figure out how to expose your kids to different activities without stressing them out. We are going through this right now with my oldest son, who was taking mountain bike lessons last fall. I felt like the worst mom in the world when he came home from the first lesson and had cried the entire time. After that, he became very anxious whenever we mentioned mountain biking. At first, we held firm because we didn’t want him to think that quitting is okay. However, over time we realized how much anxiety he was having and let him stop. After asking him to pick a different extracurricular activity, he found something he liked. Through this experience, we also realized he is an introvert and that he recharges at home. With your little guy, it may be worthwhile to take a break for a season, let him recharge at home and then try again next season. Sometimes kids just need time with the family to get reoriented. If you are noticing, however, that the problem doesn’t pertain to just one activity, and seems more pervasive, I agree, it could be more generalized anxiety. We have wonderful counselors in Bend who are experts at working with young kids and usually help the situation without adding stress. You can talk to your pediatrician about recommendations for counselors who work with young kids. n Send us your questions. | angela@bendnest.com

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By the

SPRING TRAINING

Numbers

Youth sports is a $7 billion per year industry, and growing.

Source: 2014 report, CNBC: “Spending Big on Kids’ Sports? You’re not alone,”

•

3 Million kids age 4 – 18 play Little League Baseball or Softball, worldwide

•

5 to 10% of all youth athletes will suffer a concussion during any given season

•

Girls were banned until 1974, when Little League Softball began – in Oregon!

•

62% percent of organized sports injuries occur during practice

•

$935M – cost of sports-related ER diagnoses for kids 6 to 19, annually

LITTLE LEAGUE

Source: Littleleague.org

•

•

Source: CDC.gov/headsup.

40,000 trees are needed to make ONE season of Louisville Slugger bats 1.6 million Louisville bats are made annually Source: Louisville Slugger

•

SAFETY

52% made from Maple, 48% made from Ash

LOUISVILLE SLUGGER BATS

ENGAGE

•

60 % of kids ages 5 – 18 play sports outside of school

•

90% of kids will play an organized sport at some time in childhood or adolescence Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

•

Parents spend $671 on average per child each year on youth sports, and at least 1 in 5 spends over $1,000 per child, every year.

Travel team parents spend $2266 per child annually Source: Huffington Post/Turbo Tax, 2013.

• •

$ ANNUAL COST OF YOUTH SPORTS TO PARENTS

HEAD COACHES: LITTLE LEAGUE: 5.9% FEMALE | 94.1% MALE YOUTH SOCCER: 13.4% FEMALE |86.6% MALE Source: University of Southern California

DECLINE IN PARTICIPATION AMONG 6-12 YEAR OLDS, 2008 TO 2013:

WHO COACHES, MOM OR DAD?

DECLINE

FUN IS THE #1 REASON KIDS PLAY SPORTS

SOCCER: 2008: 5.6M 2013: 5.0M Decline of

SOFTBALL: 2008: 1.3M 2013: 862,000 Decline of

FOOTBALL: 2008: 1.8 M 2013: 1.3M Decline of

Source: ESPN and the Aspen Institute, 2013, DATA IS FOR 6 TO 12 YEAR OLDS

10.7%

31.3%

18.4%

Source: Institute for the Study of Youth Sports, Michigan State

BENDNEST.COM | SPRING 2016 | 9

Trending

It’s a Family Affair Parent engagement is vital for school success

By Sherron Lumley

I

n August before the school year begins, Jessica Born meets with the families of her students at Bend Montessori School.

Getting families involved in the education process is part of a new trend to establish effective school-to-home and hometo-school communication. It’s based on the Plan for Early Education for All Americans, recommended by the White House. “One of the new things we do is home visits with the families before the school year begins,” says Born, director of the Bend Montessori School. “That’s the main way for us to build the home to school connection. It’s relatively new, but there’s a lot of research around it, and it helps so the kids aren’t scared on the first day,” she says.The evidence is clear, according to the Harvard Family Research Project, that family involvement promotes school success for every child of every age. In concurrence with the Harvard research, the National Education Association (NEA) spotlights parental involvement in education and finds it so important that the organization urges schools to welcome parents as volunteer partners. On a recent public holiday, the Bend Montessori School hosted a volunteer day at the school. “All 16 of our families showed up,” says Bor n, w ho adds, “I have a huge dad-contingency.

They’re very involved.”According to the NEA, the effect of parent involvement in school is substantial because students with involved parents:

3

Attend school regularly, earn higher grades and test scores

3 Have better social skills, U.S. ENGAGED PARENTS

20% SOURCE: GALLUP PANEL 10 | SPRING 2016 | BENDNEST.COM

classroom behavior, and adapt well to school

3 Graduate and go on to

postsecondary education

In October 2015, Gallup researchers highlighted parental engagement in the annual report on the U.S. public’s attitudes

Doing Our Part To Make Bend Great, One Pie At A Time. toward schools, finding a direct relationship between parent involvement and student achievement.Parents have different opportunities to get involved in their child’s education both at home and at school, but the Gallup study went beyond involvement and participation to dig into what researchers call parent engagement. Engagement includes emotional and psychological elements as well as a proactive and interactive relationship with the child’s school. Looking at engagement from this more complex definition, according to the 2015 Gallup panel, only 20 percent of parents in the U.S. are engaged.

The science of parent engagement is relatively new, but Gallup’s history with behavioral economics is extensive.

People’s decisions are more influenced by emotion than logic, Gallup research shows, meaning most people make decisions from the heart rather than the head. The Harvard Family Research Project (HFRP) found parental expectations of the student are the single most important factor determining success. Dr. William Jeynes, now Professor of Education at California State University, found in his research for HFRP that parents’ expectations have even more effect on education results than parental style. When parents make an investment of a large amount of time in reading and communicating with the child, this makes a greater impact than parent attendance at school functions or setting rules at home.

Engaged parents go far beyond attending the annual parents’ night at school. They have what the Gallup researchers describe as a positive emotional relationship with their child’s school, including pride in the school and a willingness to advocate for the school among friends and neighbors. At the heart of a parent’s emotional connection are three key elements. These are described by Gallup as confidence the school delivers on what it promises, pride in being a parent at the child’s school and belief that the school is perfect for the child.

“I like being involved with my son’s school because it strengthens his sense of community in his life when he sees his mom and dad being involved,” says Garrett Berdan, whose son Louis attends the Bend Montessori School. Parents who are fully engaged are the ambassadors of the school to the public and are willing to go the extra mile to support and promote the school to others. In contrast, indifferent or actively disengaged parents lack positive energy and may even wish to send their child to another school. In Gallup’s study, 80 percent of parents were indifferent or actively disengaged with the school.“Given the substantial influence of parental involvement, educators should consistently encourage parents to become more involved in their children’s schooling,” writes Dr. Jeynes, author of Parental Involvement and Academic Success. Schools can increase parent engagement as a strategy to achieve excellence by offering opportunities for parents to get involved and contribute to the school’s success. Key drivers of parent engagement include strong school leadership, high academic standards, a positive culture, and education that suits the specific needs of the child. n

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Education

Raising the Bar Bend-LaPine Schools adopt Common Core State Standards

By Kirsteen Wolf

I

n regard to college and career readiness, what benchmarks should K-12 students meet in math and language arts?

Before participating in Common Core State Standards (CCSS) or Common Core, each state had a different answer to that question.

For example, according to the CCSS for math, our eighth graders should be able to analyze and solve linear equations, tackle statistics and probability and solve real-world problems involving volume of cylinders, cones and spheres and, of course, much more. That standard now applies to eighth graders across the country in the 43 states where the Common Core was adopted. In Oregon, that was in 2010.

Lora Nordquist, Assistant Superintendent for the Bend LaPine School District, says that the rollout was really the 2013-2014 school year, with last year marking the first round of tests under the new standards. She says the change has been well received.

“There has not been much pushback from the students themselves, but some teachers worry that these are pretty high benchmarks and that the testing takes too long.” But, she adds that the district’s teachers find that the students rise to the occasion. Right now testing takes several days away from instruction.

The goal in the creation of CCSS was to align expectations for college and career readiness across the country by considering the current strengths of state curriculums and the standards of top performing nations. The Common Core focuses on research-based education. According to the Oregon Department of Education, the Common Core was developed by “parents, teachers, school administrators, and experts from across the country, together with state leaders through their membership in the Council of Chief State School Officers (CCSSO) and the National Governors Association Center for Best Practices.”

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64 X 12

Why a national standard?

In the absence of national standards, what ranks as “proficient” in one state may be considered below the “basic” rating in another. Well-meaning local and state groups may define “proficient” for a state, but that does not mean that the definition is research-based. There was a push for a national standard, so that the country could start speaking the same language and assessing grade levels in the same way. Thus, children who move between states will have an easier time transitioning. Common Core assures a shared measurement of what to expect from a high school graduate, as well. Adoption is voluntary and no state was asked to lower their educational standards. The standards are often referred to as a “floor not a

ceiling.” A handful of states had assessment measures that were close to or exceeded the Common Core already, but for the rest, the CCSS is more rigorous.

To be clear, national standards are not the same thing as a national curriculum.

While the CCSS outlines mathematical practices— attend to precision, reason abstractly and quantitatively— they do not dictate how a school district meets those benchmarks or how teachers plan their classes.

Suggestions, support and resources are offered, but not mandated.

Testing With national standards, comes a recognized method of assessment. In Oregon, that assessment is called Smarter Balanced. The testing is a service provided by the University of California, Los Angeles in the form of a Smarter Balanced Assessment Consortium. Smarter Balanced was funded initially by Race for the Top grants, but “ongoing development and continuous improvement will be funded and governed by the member states and territories and charitable organizations, not with U.S. Department of Education dollars,” according to their website. Testing is administered to benefit teachers and districts, so they can adjust their strategies to meet the standards. Many criticized the former No Child Left Behind Act’s approach to compliance as too punitive.

(The NCLB Act was replaced by the Every Student Succeeds Act).

“That is not how we make schools and districts better, by hitting them with a bigger hammer,” Nordquist says.

“The Every Student Succeeds

Act allows more flexibility in letting districts address issues discovered in testing. There is trust in local wisdom.”

While there were some students that opted out of the Smarter Balanced testing, the Oregon Department of Education reported a very high participation rate for the Bend LaPine School District.

Some of the changes parents may notice is a focus on a limited number of topics that are researched in depth.

Also, students will need to understand a topic before moving forward. Curriculum will be more rigorous, with test scores potentially dropping, while adjustments are made both in the school districts and in the student’s understanding of CCSS’s higher expectations.

Common Core asks teachers to make “12 shifts” in their classrooms. One example of a “shift” is for students to read as much non-fiction as fiction. As a way to support your child with this shift, parents can talk about nonfiction works, read one aloud and explore its merits. This will help children understand where non-fiction fits in the world and how it is researched and written.

Being aware of your child’s strengths and challenges, while maintaining advocacy for your child in school, remains the best way to provide support for your K-12 student.

Supporting your child in a school district that recognizes the Common Core begins with acknowledgeing that “success in school is important, that it is good to be challenged and to develop a growth mindset,” says Nordquist. “A higher standard is not a bad thing.

We should welcome it.” n

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A KIDíS

BEST FRIEND

PET THERAPY FOR CHILDREN

By Brian Jennings Leland Pershall 14 | SPRING 2016 | BENDNEST.COM

“Dogs don’t care what color you are or in what shape you are.

They don’t care how your hair looks or how you appear. They don’t see your scars and blemishes. They go right through appearances and see your mind and your heart.”

- Jack Barron

I

t was about five years ago when Jack Barron, now a resident of Bend, was Director of the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) Therapy Dog program, a position he held for more than a decade.

His colleagues called him “the dog guy.” He was responsible for the training, evaluating, placement, and oversight of 68 active therapy animal teams serving locations such as the Mattel Children’s Hospital. The Saturday Evening Post highlighted his work, as did PBS. Today, Barron teaches classes at Central Oregon Community College, and his pet therapy teams visit area locations like the Ronald McDonald House of Central Oregon, a home away from home for families who must travel long distances to Bend for medical care for their children.

Today, Barron continues his pet therapy work in the Bend area and was recently named to the National Board of Directors for Pet Partners, a non-profit organization that trains and supervises therapy teams used throughout Central Oregon.

Turning the clock back about five years, Barron recounts a life-changing experience that happened while he was still in Los Angeles at UCLA. A 10-year old girl was suffering from bacterial meningitis and the outlook was not good. The girl had been in a coma for seven days. Enter a dog named Apollo who was part of a therapy team managed by Barron, brought in to sit next to the girl. Apollo sat with the girl for about twenty minutes, staring into the girl’s wide-open eyes before moving on to other patients. Much to everyone’s surprise and relief, the young girl came out of the coma shortly after Apollo’s visit.

“Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.” ~ Roger Caras This quote by Roger Caras -- former TV personality and wildlife photographer, writer, and conservationist, has special meaning for those who dedicate themselves to pet therapy as a means of improving mental and physical health.

Some may say that pet therapy isn’t anything new; after all, man and dog have been

companions for thousands of years. Now, however, there is a greater awareness and understanding of how this special bond can be used to improve the lives of children.

Pet therapy trainer Donna Jarboe says Central Oregon’s Therapy Dog community includes dogs registered by Pet Partners, the Alliance of Therapy Dogs, and Therapy Dogs International. Jarboe volunteers much of her time to help train therapy teams and makes many visits to children needing pet therapy. She estimates there are between 75 and 100 teams regularly visiting clients throughout the area.

These teams include 20 at St. Charles Medical Center, 15 teams at elementary and high schools, teams doing stress relief during finals week at COCC, and many others. Her days are filled with visits to such facilities as the Ronald McDonald House, Lunch & Learn school programs, and speaking engagements to groups such as Brownies and Girl Scouts. She and her black Labrador Jackson moved to Bend from Phoenix in 2013. While visiting Central Oregon before her move, she volunteered at St. Charles, and she now volunteers there on a regular basis.

In academic settings, Jarboe sees successes working with children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Recently, her dog Jackson was assigned to help an elementary school student with ADHD having trouble with reading. According to Jarboe, the boy’s home environment was not good; he hated reading and he didn’t want to be at school.

Jarboe and Jackson came to the school every week for 30 minutes of reading time with the second-grader. For the first month of the therapy, she describes the boy’s reaction as “hostile compliance.” His body posture and actions during the sessions told the story: “Am I done yet? Can I leave?” He was not at all happy.

The tide turned after one session Continues BENDNEST.COM | SPRING 2016 | 15

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Feature Continued when she jokingly mentioned that ‘Jackson doesn’t like cats.’ The next week the boy arrived with a book about cats, and began reading aloud. What the boy didn’t know was that Jackson was specifically trained to pretend-whimper every time she said the words “cry baby.”

As the boy read from the book, Donna would say “cry baby” at key points referencing cats, upon which Jackson would utter a whimpering sound, continuing throughout the book until everyone was laughing hysterically, including the second-grader.

She then turned that into a conversation about how fun reading can be. The next week the boy was there with a book, ready to go. Jarboe says that from that point on he was a changed person. The boy’s teacher said that “a light came on” for the boy.

With Jackson’s aid, an important connection with the boy broke down a major barrier.

had been told she would never move her arms or legs or speak again. But according to Barron, “you could see her begin to try to utter some words and moving her fingers.” He says it was a very moving moment that he will never forget. The hospital staff later told Barron that the girl started making progress at that moment giving them hope she would recover some movement in her limbs.

How can one adequately explain a dog’s ability to break through these barriers to help children? According to Jarboe it’s due to a dog’s 100 percent unconditional acceptance of people. Barron agrees, adding that, although it’s been said many times and in many ways, it boils down to the simple love and acceptance that dogs inherently have for people.

“It doesn’t matter how you look at them or what you look like. Dogs don’t care what color you are or in what shape you are. They don’t care how your hair looks or how you appear. They don’t see your scars and blemishes. They go right through appearances and see your mind and your heart,” says Barron. He says there also seems to be a special bond with kids, especially pediatric patients.

“Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.”

Barron also works with very young stroke patients, including one teenage girl he says he will never forget. The patient’s mother asked Barron and his dog Joey to visit and gave them permission to put Joey up on the girl’s bed. Barron looked into the eyes of the young girl and noticed “no reaction to anything at all.” She had no use of her arms and legs, no ability to speak, and just stared blankly at all things around her. Then, somehow she began tracking Joey on her bed and following some of his movements. Barron and Joey spent about half an hour with the girl, not knowing if there would be any progress from the session. At the end of the session, when Barron told Joey to say goodbye to the girl, Joey poked his nose on the girl’s hand to let her know he was saying goodbye.

Just as they pulled away from the patient, the mother held up the girl’s arm to say goodbye to them. That was the breakthrough moment. The girl began moving her fingers. The mother broke into tears telling Jack she hadn’t “moved anything for weeks.”

The mother

~ Roger Caras

Jarboe offers counseling and advice for pet owners who may want to become therapists. She says it’s important to understand that it requires a time commitment and training, but can be very rewarding. It begins with the relationship between the owner and the dog. There are many evaluations that score both the canine and the owner. Barron says if a dog has some obedience training, and there is a strong connection between the dog and the owner, and the owner has time, there can be no better form of volunteer work. Both he and Donna are willing to consult with interested parties. For parents seeking pet therapy for their children, they encourage them to discuss individual needs through the child’s schools or one of the many organizations that host pet therapists. n

Check these sites for further information on Central Oregon’s pet therapy programs: petpartners.org therapydogs.com tdi-dog.org

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LOWRES DRAFT BENDNEST.COM | SPRING 2016 | 19

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Calendar Oregon Winterfest February 12-14 February 11

February 12 - May 12

February 13 -

Virginia Riggs Children’s Concert

Snowblast Tubing

Sled Dog Rides

MUSIC - This concert is fun, informal, and open to all.

Come early for the instrument petting zoo, where children can enjoy an up-close experience with the instruments, as symphony musicians play them. Then join us for an interactive concert with audience participation.

6:30pm petting zoo, 7:00pm concert.

Bend High School | Free

February 12

SNOW - Located between the Mountain Gateway building and the bottom of Red Chair, the Snowblast Tubing Park is where the rubber meets the snow.

Experience the 800-foot ride full of rollers.

Mt Bachelor | Youth $20 Adult $25 mtbachelor.com

February 12 - 14 Oregon Winterfest

MOTORS - Trucks, motorcycles, and more petrol-fueled fun!

Deschutes County Fair & Expo Center | 5 & Under Free, 6 to 12 $10, Adults $15 expo.deschutes.org

FESTIVAL – Join in the massive celebration of all things winter, featuring national music acts, snow sports, a fire pit competition, ice sculptures, the OMSI Kids Area, fine art, delicious food, beer, wine, and so much more!

Old Mill District oregonwinterfest.com

February 12 - May 12

February 12 – 21

WHR Motorsports NW Arena

Open Recreation Swim

SWIM - Swimming fun for everyone! Features include low and high diving boards, rope swing, water basketball, inner tubes, mats and more! Recreation swims are open to all ages, however, children 6 years and under must be supervised by a responsible person 14 years or older.

Juniper Swim & Fitness bendparksandrec.org

February 12 - May 12 Parent Child Swim

The Music Man

THEATER - Professor Harold Hill and his “Seventy-six Trombones” head to River City, Iowa in hopes of conning the town’s people with a marching band scheme and then skipping town. Tony award-winning musical featuring such songs as “Ya Got Trouble”, “Shipoopi”, and “Till There Was You.” Summit High School beatonline.org

February 13

SWIM - Special time for children 6 years & younger and their parents in the indoor children’s pool. Adult supervision is required in the water with all children. Swim diapers are required for all children who are not toilet trained.

Juniper Swim & Fitness bendparksandrec.org

Parents Night Out

February 12 - May 12

February 13

The Big Play Thing

Hot Cocoa Run

PLAY - Cascade Indoor Sports is thrilled to have Central Oregon’s newest and largest indoor play structure, with more than 3,000 square feet of climbing adventure! Kids love our “Macaroni” and “Chili Pepper” slides, as well as the foam forest, Tarzan bridge and more!

Cascade Indoor Sports | $5 cascadeindoorsports.com

22 | SPRING 2016 | BENDNEST.COM

PLAY - Kids will be excited to join us in Fort Funnigan, while parents take the night off. We will create custom hot chocolate mix, chocolate play dough and have some Willy Wonka movie fun.

Sunriver Resort | Resort Guests $35, General Public $40 | sunriver-resort.com

FITNESS - For aspiring princes and princesses, join in the Kid’s Hot Cocoa Run on Saturday, February 13th.

Costumes are encouraged! The race is a mad dash to make the best cup of hot cocoa imaginable! Kids will run from station to station collecting the ingredients, and racing to the finish line.

Old Mill District | $11 layitoutevents.com/hot-cocoa-run

the end of the season

SNOW - Add a wild, magical experience to your Mt. Bachelor get-away with a ride behind a real dog sled team! Stay snug and warm in the sled while the team, along with a professional musher, takes you on an exciting adventure.

Mt Bachelor | Youth $49 Adult $90 mtbachelor.com

February 16

Brian Becker

The Unsweet Side of Soda

LEARN - Sugar consumption in the US has reached unreal levels and its rise is mirrored by the rise in many of the chronic health problems that plague Americans.

Learn how to break the sugar addiction and improve your family’s health. naturalgrocers.org

February 17 - May 25 (Every Wednesday) Fit Kids Dance and Play

FITNESS - Kids will be introduced to different dance styles and rhythms, along with fun music and games.

Ages 5 -11.

Juniper Swim & Fitness | bendparksandrec.org

February 17-18 Backpack Explorers

LEARN - Parents and children ages 3-5 investigate science, art, music, stories, and culture in a fun, hands-on manner. New themes weekly!

High Desert Museum | Members $10 Non Members $15 highdesertmuseum.org

February 18 Harry Potter Story Hour

READ - Drop in for Bonta Gelato’s weekly story hour, featuring Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. This is a free event with Harry Potter themed treats and gelato for purchase. Ages: Tiny through Dumbledore, all welcome!

Thursdays 4-5pm Bonta Natural Artisan Gelato | Free.

Calendar February 18

Razzle Jazz Dance Class

DANCE - Enjoy jazz technique using ballet as the foundation, to stretch, strengthen, and inspire you. Floor, center work, and dance exercises with a variety of music each week. Choreography will be taught each week as well. Opportunity to perform in Mary Poppins, June 2016.

Thursdays 1:30pm Academie de Ballet Classique| $56/month abcbend.com

February 19

in the heat of high school and collegiate competition season, offers the opportunity for groups to gain more performance experience, learn and hone new skills, receive vital feedback from professionals in the music industry, and connect with fellow a cappella singers.

Tower Theater | $80 bendacappellafestival.com

February 22

(Second Monday of every month through May 9)

Decoding Dyslexia Monthly Meeting

MUSIC - 15 groups sing for the chance to open for The House Jacks on Saturday, February 20th, as well as win $1000! Members of The House Jacks will decide on the winning group.

Tower Theater | $18, $28 towertheatre.org

MEETING - A grassroots movement driven by Oregon families and educators. We strive to raise dyslexia awareness, empower families to support their children, and improve resources for students with dyslexia in Oregon public schools. Monthly support and education meetings.

Rosie Bareis Campus | Donation decodingdyslexiaor.org

February 19

Feb 24 and 25

Bend A Capella Festival

Moonlight & Starlight Snowshoe Tours

Learning from Storytelling

NATURE - Discover the Cascades under the bright moonlight reflecting off the white snow, and look for signs of animals in their nocturnal wonderland! Wanderlust Tours runs monthly moonlight snowshoe trips for the few nights surrounding each full moon from November to April.

Wanderlust Tours | $85 per person wanderlusttours.com

LEARN - Stories can transport us to other worlds. For generations, cultures have also used stories to pass on history. Gather round as we explore stories in Native American cultures and practice reciting our very own stories as well.

High Desert Museum | Members $10 Nonmembers $15 highdesertmuseum.org

February 19 - 21

February 24-25

A Cappella Festival

MUSIC - The Tower Theater is proud to host the Bend A Cappella Festival. The festival, perfectly situated

Backpack Explorers

LEARN - Parents and children ages 3-5 investigate science, art, music, stories, and culture in a fun, hands-on

manner. New themes weekly!

High Desert Museum | Members $10 Non Members $15 highdesertmuseum.org

February 27 Kid’s Open Studio

ART - Our first open studio for kids! Enjoy open-ended time in the Multi-Media Studio. Work on projects, explore materials, hone skills and share ideas with other young artists. Work independently to use various painting, drawing, mixed media and printmaking materials.

Art Station | $15 artscentraloregon.org/artstation

February 27 - May 15 (fourth Saturday of every month)

Kid’s Night Out

SWIM - Kids get JSFC to themselves as they swim, play games and have fun with their friends under the supervision of our staff. Drinks and snacks provided. Note: Ages 3 through 5 will enjoy crafts, games and story time.

Swimming is not included for this group. 5 and under must be potty trained.

Juniper Swim & Fitness Center | $10 adv, $13 door juniperswimandfitness.com

February 27 & 28 Eagle Watch

NATURE - Join us for a day of fun for the whole family... live birds of prey, wild eagle spotting, raptor education, kids activities, silent auction, and much more.

Round Butte Overlook Park | FREE oregonstateparks.org

Continues

SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE Where Wall Street Meets the Old Mill.

Just A Block Upriver from the Colorado Bridge.

803 SW Industrial Way Suite 202 www.craftkitchenandbrewery.com 541-647-2772

BENDNEST.COM | SPRING 2016 | 23

Cascades Academy 2015-2016 Education Series

Our Free Presentations Continue April 21 Beyond Tomboys, Sissies and ‘That’s So Gay’ - New Ways of Thinking About Gender and Sexuality in Our Changing World April 21, 6:30 p.m. at Cascades Academy

WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR CHILD TO LEARN FOCUS, DISCIPLINE, RESPECT, AND CONFIDENCE ALL WHILE BEING ACTIVE AND HAVING FUN?

Jennifer Bryan, Ph.D. Please email or call Cascades Academy to reserve your seats and sign up for RESERVE YOUR SEATS TODAY reminders: edseries@cascadesacademy.org or 541.382.0699.

Visit cascadesacademy.org/edseries for more information on our Education Series.

Accepting applications for 2016-17

Call for our monthly new student specials or drop in for a free trial class. Classes start at age three and we offer something for everyone in the family.

LOOKING FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR A BIRTHDAY PARTY? We offer party packages starting at $99.

19860 Tumalo Reservoir Road Bend, OR 97703

24 | SPRING 2016 | BENDNEST.COM

(541) 390-5822

|

924 B SE Wilson Ave. Bend

Calendar March 1

Design Plates

CREATE - In this 3 hour class, each student will make two 6”x 6” plates with glass artist, Teri Shamlian.

DIY Cave | $95 diycave.com

March 3 Powerful Pollinators

LEARN - Give bees a chance! (And hummingbirds and butterflies, too). This camp will teach about the lives of insects and hummingbirds in terms of pollinating flowers.

Through crafts, games, flower dissection and hands-on activities, K-5th grade campers will get to explore the world of pollinators.

High Desert Museum | Members $40 Non-Members $45 highdesertmuseum.org

March 4

(First Friday of every month)

Splash & Fun

SWIM - In the care of fun-loving staff, children can participate in a variety of exciting activities such as experiments, dancing, and playing games and of course swimming!

Juniper Swim & Fitness Center | $10 juniperswimandfitness.com

March 5 Is Acting For You?

ACTING - Have you or your child wondered if the stage is right for them? This class will introduce simple acting techniques, and character development using costumes/ props to see if acting is for you! Short Performance on

Sunday. Taught by Mary Kilpatrick BEAT Studio | $65 beatonline.org

March 5

local birds geared towards grades K-5 (though all ages are welcome). 3:45-5:15 PM, doors open at 3:15pm.

This session focuses on cranes.

The Environmental Center envirocenter.org

Middle School Night

March 11

(First Saturday of Every Month Through May 8)

SWIM – Drop in with your friends and take over JSFC with fun activities in the entire facility, including dance, fitness, and an awesome place to hang out with your friends.

Juniper Swim & Fitness Center | $5 juniperswimandfitness.com

March 7 Table Tennis

SPORTS - Open play Monday nights; play is informal and open to everyone Boys & Girls Club | 18 and under $2, Adult $3 www.bgcbend.org

March 8 Benefit for Boys and Girls Club Family Night

GIVE - Mark your calendar for a night out at McMenamins! By ordering up burgers, salads, drinks, desserts and more, you’ll be helpin out– in fact, half of the night’s funds go to the Boys and Girls Club!

McMenamins | Prices Vary mcmenamins.com

March 9 Fledgling Fun: The Life Cycle of Birds

12-Point Kid Inspection

HEALTH – Healthy Beginnings will bring its 12-Point Kid Inspection to Bend. Healthy Beginnings screens young children in hearing, speech and language, motor skills, cognitive development, vision, dental, nutrition and more.

All children in Central Oregon between the ages of 0-5 and who have not entered kindergarten are eligible for this free screening myhb.org

March 12 STEAM Team Tech Creations

Dismantle old tech and create something new with the pieces.

Redmond Public Library | Free deschuteslibrary.org/redmond

March 12 Performance In A Weekend

THEATER - Come be a star! Class members will audition, rehearse, work on simple sets and costumes ending in a performance for family and friends Sunday at 11:30. Taught by Mary Kilpatrick BEAT Studio | $65 beatonline.org

LEARN - Join Mary Yanalcanlin for an exploration of our

Continues

Great location in Bend's Northwest Crossing Neighborhood!

Dana's Discovery Kids Preschool is dedicated to providing a high-quality preschool program for children ages 3-5 in a safe, clean and caring environment.

30 YEAR ANNIVERSARY! $30 registration fee special. Morning program 8am-11:55am, Afternoon program 12:30-3:30pm. Choose your schedule. Prepay incentives.

Join us for our Open House Saturday March 12th 10am-12pm.

Dress up as your favorite character! Crafts, door prizes, balloons, cupcakes to go. www.discoverykidspreschool.com | 541-306-6490 | 745 Mt. Washington Drive Suite 100, Bend

BENDNEST.COM | SPRING 2016 | 25

WINE SPECIALS EVERY DAY! LADIES NIGHT EVERY WEDNESDAY!

Brighter Smiles Campaign Plan ahead for the Brighter Smiles Campaign

30 Wines By The Glass, Sake, Craft Beer, Small Plates, Salads, and Sandwiches.

Located on the corner of Galveston and 14th Open Tuesday through Sunday @ 4pm www.sipwinebend.com | check us out on Facebook

541-323-VINO

From May 1 - June 30, pay just $200 for whitening (that’s 50% off!) at your dentist’s office!

All proceeds support Kemple Clinic, a local nonprofit dedicated to providing care for kids whose oral health is at risk. With Sisters, CONTACT YOUR DENTAL PROVIDER to see if their office is participating, or visit

kempleclinic.org

Redmond, Bend, LaPine and Madras schools participating, our Screen & Seal Program reaches over 5,000 students each year with your support.

Now that’s something to smile about!

Rosie Bareis Community Campus 1029 NW 14th St. -- Suite 101 Bend, Oregon 97701 (541) 617-1653

26 | SPRING 2016 | BENDNEST.COM

Calendar March 18

Teen Writing Group

WRITING - Creative writing exercises and more.

Bend Public Library | Free deschuteslibrary.org

March 18 Monster X Tour

MOTORS - Monster Trucks! Fun for all ages.

Deschutes County Fair & Expo Center expo.deschutes.org

Mar 18-Apr 29 Book SmART

ART - Art and literacy – a winning combination! Books will be read aloud and linked to each art project for skill development in both visual and literary arts. Explore painting, drawing and mixed media through play-based activities. Projects vary each session.

The Art Station | $100 artcentral.com/artstation

March 19-27 Waterslides in Sunriver

SWIM - Outdoor waterslides and lazy river open daily from 12-4pm (weather permitting). $15/per person ages 4 and over. Central Oregon Sundays offers residents of Deschutes, Crook and Jefferson County a $9 rate every Sunday through May 22.

SHARC sunriversharc.com

March 20 March Mudness

LEARN - Meet a new animal every month, hear their wild tales, and join in on a fun craft.

For ages 3 and up. Limited to 30 children and their caregivers.

East Bend Public Library | Free deschuteslibrary.org/eastbend

April 5 – May 24 Bountiful Botany

LEARN - In this class, students will develop a better understanding of plant biology by conducting germination experiments, flower dissections, building chloroplast models and extracting chlorophyll. Students will also perform photosynthetic experiments in addition to investigating carnivorous and sensitive plants. 6th grade and above. Tuesdays 3:30 – 5:00pm. Registration opens March 16.

Bend Science Station bendsciencestation.com

LEARN - In this class, students will investigate the kingdoms of life while growing bacteria colonies, feeding yeast, experimenting with seeds, and dissecting squid.

The course wraps up studying the biology of vertebrate animals. Wednesdays, 12:30-2:00pm or 2:30-4:00pm.

3rd – 5th grade. Registration opens March 16.

Bend Science Station bendsciencestation.com

April 7 – May 19 Comic Arts

Paper Mache Critters

April 8 Preschool Parade

LEARN - Stories, songs and crafts that develop early literacy skills.

Bend Public Library | Free deschuteslibrary.org

March 26

April 10

Egg Hunt in Sunriver

Little Fry Run, Salmon Run

PLAY - Two kid-centric Easter weekend events backto-back at SHARC! Don’t miss the underwater egg hunt for ages 18 mo-12yrs. and the Rubber Duck Race in the outdoor lazy river. Prizes awarded for top finishers in each wave. $10/per child per event. Participate in both events for $15/per child. Advanced reservations required.

SHARC sunriversharc.com

April 1 (Every First Friday) First Friday Splash n Swim

PLAY - Drop the kids off at JSFC and head to First Friday in downtown Bend! Children can participate in games, dance and of course swimming! Snacks and drinks provided. Save money and register early! Note: kids 10 and older welcome at open recreation swim during the same time.

Juniper Swim & Fitness | $10 - $16 bendparksandrec.org

April 5 East Bend Animal Adventures with the High Desert Museum

ART - Fused Glass: Whimsical Settings in Glass Make a whimsical landscape in fused glass. Create a long, rectangular scene like a town, forest or garden.

Artworks will be fired to a tack fuse creating relief and dimension within your landscape. Then, artworks will be slumped into an S-curve to create a dynamic display.

The Art Station | $45 + $55 material fee due to instructor. artcentral.com/artstation

Little Fry Run Salmon Run

Life on Earth

Mar 21-24 ART - Creeping, crawling critters are springing up outside! Make a bug, caterpillar or flying insect out of paper mache. Design your critters with paint, found objects and embellishments.

The Art Station | $115 artcentral.com/artstation

Fused Glass Workshop

April 6 – May 25

ART - Calling young ‘toonists: let’s get funny, silly or scary as you get serious about learning to create cartoon characters. Using basic pencil and pen-and-ink drawing techniques, students play with line and learn to experiment with personality on paper.

The Art Station | $65 artcentral.com/artstation

FITNESS – Play dirty with the family! Come down to Sunriver for the fourth annual, family-friendly obstacle course filled with ooey gooey mud and dirt for those who love to frolic in filth. sunrivermarchmudness.com

April 19

FITNESS – Is your Little Fry hatching into a runner?

Kids will love being part of the 28th annual Salmon Run race, The Little Fry race is non-competitive, and everyone receives a finisher’s ribbon for participating.

Riverbend Park | $5 runsalmonrun.com

April 13 Fledgling Fun: The Life Cycle of Birds

LEARN - Join Mary Yanalcanlin for an exploration of our local birds geared towards grades K-5 (though all ages are welcome). 3:45-5:15 PM, doors open at 3:15pm. This session focuses on bird mirgration.

The Environmental Center envirocenter.org

April 15 Fizz! Boom! Read! Storytime

READ - 3+ years. Stories and science with hands-on experiments.

Redmond Public Library | Free deschuteslibrary.org/redmond

April 10 Brian Becker

April 26 Collage Art

ART - Primary Colors & Mondrian Assemble a colorful collage of paper and paint inspired by Piet Mondrian’s famous geometric paintings while learning about the elements of space, shape and primary colors.

The Art Station | $18 artcentral.com/artstation

May 3 Toddlin’ Tales

LEARN - For children 18-36 months. Participation stories and movement rhymes to enhance social and language development Bend Public Library| Free deschuteslibrary.org

May 7 Family Lego Block Party

PLAY - All ages welcome. Read! Build! Play! The sky is the limit!

Bend Public Library | Free deschuteslibrary.org

May 11 Fledgling Fun: The Life Cycle of Birds

LEARN - Join Mary Yanalcanlin for an exploration of our local birds geared towards grades K-5 (though all ages are welcome). 3:45-5:15 PM, doors open at 3:15pm. A Bird-Day Celebration!

The Environmental Center envirocenter.org

For the most up-to-date calendar, Bend Nest recommends checking out the Kids Stuff section of the Source Weekly in print or online, bendsource.com. Have fun!

BENDNEST.COM | SPRING 2016 | 27

at H S A L P S a e Mak

SHARC Sunriver Homeowners

Aquatic & Recreation Center

central oregon sundays

the pavilion

let’s skate Ice skating and sports return to the heart of Bend!

Show proof of residency in Deschutes, Jefferson or Crook County for $9 Sunday admission through May 22.

spring break

Outdoor water slides & lazy river open 12-4pm daily for spring break March 19-27.* March 26 Easter festivities includes egg dives & duck races. Indoor aquatics open at 10am daily

sunriversharc.com

don’t forge t your towel!

541-585-5000

*weather permitting

Check online schedules for:

OPEN & FlEx SkatE Available daily

Spring has Sprung at Stone Soup.

SPRING BREak OPEN SkatE FaMIly SkatE

Only $6/person including skate rental

PaRENt-tOt SkatE

Only $6/person including skate rental p. (541) 389-7588 • 1001 SW Bradbury Way For schedules, fees and more,

visit thepavilioninbend.com

kids’ clothing up to size 16 We pay cash or store credit for your gently used kids’ items.

Visit our website for details.

www.stonesoupkids.com 541.323.7117 1740 NW Pence Lane #4

(off Newport Avenue and College Way)

stonesoupkids@gmail.com

28 | SPRING 2016 | BENDNEST.COM

The Book Shelf

Culture

A

lthough arguably, there is real wisdom to be found in the Parenting section of any bookstore, The Science of Mom: A ResearchBased Guide to Your Baby’s First Year, is unique in that all advice given within the pages is based on, well, science.

Eugene-based writer, Alice Callahan, PhD, has all the credentials for breaking down the details and providing evidence-based answers for the most daunting of parenting dilemmas. Callahan holds a doctorate in nutrition, as well as having performed postdoctoral research in the field. Readers will find topics such as breastfeeding vs. formula, baby’s first foods, sleep issues, vaccines, as well as Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).

What makes this book so enjoyable and a go-to guide for every new parent is that Callahan herself is a new mom who has spent significant time in her own home lab. This book is informative, well written, easy to understand, and most importantly, doesn’t rely on old wives’ tales for answers. n

Check out Alice Callahan’s blog at: scienceofmom.com

Welcome to the Mill Point Family Baby Ryan!

From Dr. Marika Stone and Mill Point Dental

Dentistry with a Gentle Touch

......................................................

FREE Consultations for Implants, Wisdom Teeth Extractions, Sedation, and Clear Braces.

755 SW BonnettWay, BLDG 4000 Suite 100, Bend

Free Kid’s

Sonicare with New

Patient Exam

Scheduled for Mom or Dad! Accepting Most Insurances Multiple Financing Options

The coupon will expire 11/30/2016 and will be for new patients only.

www.millpointdentalcenter.com

541.388.0078 BENDNEST.COM | SPRING 2016 | 29

Adult Time

Fall In Love Again Why you should love yourself as much as you love them

By Annette Benedetti

A

s a parent, making sure every member of your family has everything they need to stay healthy while feeling unconditionally loved and nurtured is your primary focus and the driving force behind everything you do. Loving and caring for your children and partner comes naturally, but between knocking out the daily tasks and taking care of everyone else, considering your own health and wellbeing is often forgotten.

There is no doubt that parenting requires a certain amount of physical, mental, and emotional sacrifice. The underlying stress, lack of sleep, and physical toll that comes with caring for a family can catch up with you. It should be no surprise when you find an unfamiliar, rundown version of your former self staring back at you in the mirror.

Now is the perfect time to consider giving some extra love to a key member of your family: yourself. While putting yourself and your needs last seems like the right thing to do, it is actually more harmful than good for your whole family. You are your children’s mentor, the person they emulate and want to be when they grow up. They will fashion the way they view and treat themselves around how they believe you view and treat yourself. Take a moment to get honest with yourself and reflect: is that what you really want?

This month, make falling in love with yourself again (or for the first time) a goal. The following are five ways you can start fostering a sense of self-love. Pick a couple to commit to and make loving you a priority.

Stop comparing yourself to others, especially other parents. You are bombarded with online articles, news stories, 30 | SPRING 2016 | BENDNEST.COM

and books on parenting every day. It’s nearly impossible to hang out with other parents without getting caught up in a discussion (Read: debate) about how you should deal with TV time or potty and sleep training. From free-range parenting to helicopter parenting, each family finds the approach that works for them and you should feel confident in what works best for you. Stop beating yourself up for choosing not to enroll your children in extracurricular activities every night of the week. A big part of loving yourself is trusting that you know what works for your family.

Treat yourself to something you want. Wants and needs are two very different things. Parents are notorious for neglecting their basic needs. Their wants are rarely even on the table as something to consider. It’s time to change that. Do you dismiss your child’s wants? How much joy does it give both you and your children, when you treat them to that toy they’ve been dying to have or that piece of clothing that they are just sure will change their social status while walking down the middle school hallway?

How often do you pick them up a special treat just to make their day a little brighter, to remind them that they are loved, or to reward them for working hard or behaving well? Well don’t you deserve the same?

Meet your own physical needs. You wouldn’t let your child go without the proper nutrition, amount of sleep, adequate clothing, or physical hygiene. So why has it been six months since your last trip to the salon and why are you eating that microwaved burrito while your child enjoys locally grown vegetables and freerange chicken expertly spiced and grilled to perfection? The way you care for your children’s physical needs is a big part of how you show them you love them and attending to your own needs

SUMMER CLASSES

& KINDERMUSIK

Summer Classes Begin

JUNE 8

541-382-6866

cascadeschoolofmusic.org

at that same level is an important expression of self-love. You deserve to be well groomed and fashionably dressed. Take one afternoon a month to treat yourself to a hair cut, manicure and pedicure, and a good thorough waxing! You will love yourself more for it (and so will your partner.)

Adjust your concept of perfection. As parents we often hold ourselves to unrealistic expectations and then beat ourselves up when we don’t meet them. Juggling the children’s schedules, work, house chores, and a relationship requires keeping a lot of balls in the air. Dropping one now and then is inevitable. Maybe it’s time to reconsider what parenting perfection means to you. Are your children happy and healthy? Do they feel loved and protected? If you answered yes to both of these questions then you are doing a great job as a parent, and it’s safe to bet that you look perfect in their small eyes.

Practice compassion. When a family member feels sad or is experiencing stress in their lives, showing them compassion and support comes easy. So why is it so hard to do the same for yourself? Next time you feel down or are experiencing anxiety, take a moment to check in with yourself. What is that small voice in your head saying? What would you say to your child or your partner if they were feeling the same way you are? If the language you are using with yourself isn’t the same as the language you would use with those who you love most, it needs to change.

Take time each day to stop and send yourself the same compassionate messages you give the ones you love. Eventually this kind of self-talk will become habit and you will catch yourself doing it without having to think. n

Furniture Locally Made and VIntage Upcycled, Home Decor Unique Gifts, Paints and Supplies, DIY Classes

We Support local & made in the USA! 541-728-3036 BENDNEST.COM | SPRING 2016 | 31

GET CONNECTED

because kids don’t come with instructions

VOLUNTEERING IDEAS FOR FAMILIES AND TEENS Call the Family Resource Center of Central Oregon 541-389-5468 or visit www.frconline.org

www.volunteerconnectnow.org

MOSAIC MEDICAL PEDIATRICS Now Accepting New Patients We grow with your child.

From birth through teen years, our pediatric team provides expert care to support your child’s physical, emotional and social wellness.

CONVENIENTLY LOCATED WITH 3 PEDIATRIC CLINICS IN BEND East Bend Clinic 541-383-3005

2084 NE Professional Ct., Bend, OR 97701

Bend High School-Based Health Center 541-408-9534 230 NE 6th Street, Bend, OR 97701

Ensworth Community School-Based Health Center 541-323-3850 2150 NE Daggett Ln., Bend, OR 97701

Quality Care For All

32 | SPRING 2016 | BENDNEST.COM

We accept most private or commercial insurance, all local OHP (Medicaid) and most Medicare.

Tragic Events

Talking to your kids about the news

By Annette Benedetti

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’” - Fred Rogers

T

he attacks on Paris, Isis, and school shootings are subjects that fill the news feeds and reach the public online, through the radio, and on TV. They are terrifying to adults and fill us with fear even though we, for the most part, have healthy coping mechanisms in place to help us process the information and carry on with our lives. But what happens when these stories reach young ears? What do we do and say when our children come to us with questions about what they mean and how these events affect them?

Regardless of how hard you try to monitor what your children watch, listen to, and read in an effort to filter out content that is too intense for them, it is impossible to protect them from all of the big, frightening, and often tragic events that take place in our local and global communities. The best way to help them understand and cope with tragic news is by being prepared ahead of time and having a plan in place.

In her article, If the Kids Ask About Paris, Jill Kaufmann LMFT, counselor at Deschutes County Behavioral Health, says, “…don’t worry about having all of the answers. Most kids aren’t looking for long explanations.” She suggests asking them open-ended questions that encourage the conversation and allow you to find out what they have heard, what they are thinking, and how they are feeling. Some examples she gives of these types of questions are, “What do you think about the terror attacks in France?” and “What are kids at school saying about all this?”

Once you have a good understanding of what your child has

Health

heard and what they know, give them the facts in an abbreviated, easy to digest manner. Give them context by letting them know that while these events are upsetting, similar events have taken place in the past and that there are “helpers” trained to deal with them while keeping people safe and solutions available that can be reached. Keep these explanations simple so that your child can understand them on their level, which will help ease their anxiety.

Acknowledging your child’s feelings and reassuring them is important. Tell them that you can see that they are worried, sad, or confused. Legitimize their feelings and let them know that they have every reason to feel the way they do, and then reassure them by letting them know that they are safe. If possible, point out the safety measures that have been taken and all of the things that are in place that ensure their wellbeing and protection, but do not lie.

Kaufmann points out the importance of making sure that you are calm before you talk to your child. She suggests waiting until you feel composed if you have been emotionally impacted by the event and says, “Children often watch a parent’s reaction to get insight on just how concerned they should be. If they see a traumatized parent, then they are going to be much more worried and scared.” So take some deep breaths and try to project a sense of calm and confidence.

Finally, give your kids a sense of control by opening a discussion about what they can do to help or make a difference. Let them come up with things they can do to feel safer, or ways they can help people affected directly or indirectly by the events in the news. Often times there are opportunities to donate, volunteer, or pay tribute. Helping your child participate in these activities can help them feel less vulnerable and afraid. n

BENDNEST.COM | SPRING 2016 | 33

Outdoors

Cog-Happy

Kids

Bend Endurance Academy Gears Up for Mountain Biking Fun

By Brian Jennings

T

he opportunities for young people to participate in outdoor activities in Central Oregon are seemingly endless. The Bend Endurance Academy (BEA) excels in offering development programs for kids and juniors, including rock climbing, Nordic sports, cycling and mountain biking. BEA believes that sports should be accessible and affordable for all kids, and the non-profit academy’s goal is to teach kids the joy of outdoor endurance sports year-round. Last year alone the academy served over 600 kids through its many activities, including after-school programs. Under the direction of Bill Warburton, cycling has become one of its most popular programs, helping kids progress from beginning stages of mountain biking to the highest levels of national competition.

Warburton found his way to Bend from upstate New York 34 | SPRING 2016 | BENDNEST.COM

where he was a competitive alpine and Nordic skier, but biking and working with kids are his passions. He feels that Bend has a special, family-oriented cycling culture found in few other places. Mountain biking is growing rapidly in popularity, in part because of the cycling culture found here, he says. Bend has more than 300 miles of trails in its main mountain biking network which are easy to access, and because of this, more and more people of all ages are participating. Warburton advises parents that the sport doesn’t have to be expensive – that it’s easy to find top-quality used bikes in Bend because of the popularity of biking in general. He says that as kids outgrow one bike, there is a market to swap out for a larger one so that the cost of entry is fairly low.

Warburton says that the key to getting kids into the cycling and mountain biking culture is to get them on bikes as toddlers.

Soon it becomes fun for them, especially when parents get their kids together. “Along the way,” he says, “kids begin to learn a sense of independence. That’s when they take off and want to learn to become better riders.” And that’s where the Bend Endurance Academy can help.

The academy offers multiple levels of mountain bike training. Kids can typically start mountain biking between the ages of 5 and 7, focusing on dirt biking with safety awareness in mind. “We want a safe environment where we can take kids out in the woods where they can explore riding for a few miles at the beginning,” he says. Warburton says BEA’s goal is to develop young people at the beginning level and to make it as much fun for them as possible.

For those who want to continue their development, there is a mid-range program for kids who ride three days a week. At that level BEA coaches help them develop their skills on more challenging trails. The next step is the training and competition level where fewer will participate seriously. At that point, Warburton says kids have the opportunity to compete at national levels. He and a group of BEA’s five top mountain bike athletes recently returned from national competition in Asheville, North Carolina, where two won honors.

Warburton says that kids don’t have to exclude other sports if they participate in the academy’s mountain bike programs, either. “Most of our riders play soccer, basketball, or other sports, and plug in where they want in our programs.” He adds that, “there’s a lot of draw for kids to participate in mountain biking, especially in the after-school programs where the sport provides ‘a good release from the day.” He says it’s also a great socialization time for kids to be with their friends, which helps them stay motivated in the sport.

The academy charges tuition, but there is financial assistance available. Warburton says the after school programs are very affordable. “We pick up at the schools with our vans and buses, and parents can conveniently pick them up after work.” He feels that’s the easiest way for kids to get started with the academy. He also says the summer program is an excellent option to engage kids and get them outdoors.

Warburton beams when talking about how the academy’s programs have helped kids since its founding in 2009. Each year, he sees kids develop and become more confident and outgoing. Some young adults who have graduated from academy programs even come back to help coach younger kids during the summer months. “We often get to know what’s going on in the lives of the kids we coach, and many times we can help mentor them,” he says. “Those are the kinds of coaches we look for in our program. Our goal is to build relationships with the riders and their families.

That’s what the cycling community is all about, and we take that seriously.” n

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Teens Trying Their Wings Making the transition through detachment

By Angela Switzer

D

Leaving

the Nest

o you find yourself enmeshed in your teenager’s life?

Are you worrying constantly about her relationships and her Facebook page? Not surprisingly, some parents may not realize the extent of their emotional attachment to their teen’s world.

Your self-image need not be joined to your teen’s decisions. Knowing that your teen is travelling her own path now, helps parents with their own sense of self, apart from their child.

During your child’s early years, you were probably exposed to the philosophy of Attachment Parenting, the importance of being available for your child, so she felt loved and was able to develop healthy trusting relationships. Having grown up now, your teen still needs you and the relationship you’ve fostered, but what does it mean to detach, and why is this a healthy stage of development for both you and your teen?

Are your emotional needs being met outside of the relationship with your teen? Sometimes parents have a hard time letting go because their own emotions are entangled in their child’s world.

Detachment, or “letting go” is a gradual process and one that requires effort and intention by the parent in a variety of ways.

Your teen is becoming independent. Hopefully, she has her own opinions, which may not match your own. She is no longer an extension of you and your family, but a unique human, with different priorities and goals. Some parents have a hard time understanding their teen, if her ideas do not align with their own. Rather than try to change your teen, try acceptance and detachment.

Trust plays a big role on the road to detachment. Think of detachment as a way to relax and trust that your child has “got this”. Do not be afraid of failure on the part of your child. It is better for your teen to make mistakes and realize consequences while she is still living at home, rather than face them for the first time later on her own.

In reality, parents who worry constantly about their teen children are doing everyone a disservice. They are often not sleeping, feeling ashamed of the choices their child is making, and showing that they do not respect their teen’s growing independence. This worry and nagging adds to the stress level in the home and does not bolster a sense of confidence in the teen.

Detachment does not mean ceasing to engage with your teen.

You are there should she need your help, but you are not there when she can handle things. Giving your teen the opportunity to make difficult decisions is a gift. Stepping back and watching from afar may be outside your comfort zone, but you will get used to your new role.

Intervention may be necessary if your teen is engaging in risky or destructive behavior, including drugs and alcohol. Even so, in a situation where your teen is clearly making mistakes, detaching from the shame of her choices is important for both of you. Remember, you are not responsible for the choices your teen makes.

Are you in the role of doing too much for your teen or fixing everything? Many parents are. It may not be that your child can’t do something for herself, it may be that you actually enjoy doing it because your sense of self-worth is attached to being needed.

Now is the time for reacquainting with yourself and figuring out your role as an individual, not just as someone’s parent.

Listening to your teen and respecting her as an adult can have lasting benefits to your relationship. Young adults want to be heard and treated as equals. When you respect her intellect, you give her a boost of self-confidence. Alternately, when you constantly correct her, or give her advice, you are giving her a vote of no confidence and showing her you think her ideas are juvenile. Having a strong sense of self goes a long way in your teen’s attitude and positive outlook.

Respecting your teen’s right to privacy is a sign that you are detaching. While many parents actually thrive on knowing the ins and outs of their child’s social life, this is not necessarily a healthy pattern. Let your child have her own relationships. You can provide empathy when your teen has been let down by a relationship, but her feelings of sadness should not translate to your own.

Share your own interests with your teen. You are moving into a more adult relationship, where it is no longer a one-way street.

You may be surprised to find that the more you detach, the more your teen seeks you out. She will take the lead in letting you know how much she wants to involve you in her life. By giving her the freedom to make that decision, you are giving her space to breathe.

Remarkably, this process of detachment is very satisfying. You are able to trust your child to follow her own path and to make her own decisions. That frees up a significant amount of mental energy for other more worthwhile endeavors besides useless worrying. Detachment is a process, not one that can happen overnight, but it is the best way for both parent and child to move forward, fostering a healthy new relationship, while honoring everyone in the process. n

BENDNEST.COM | SPRING 2016 | 37

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The Bend Tour Company

B

orn and reared in a galaxy far, far away called New Jersey, John Flannery heard the old “Go West young man..” saying and took it quite literally. He launched Bend’s first pedicab service in 2001.

After 15 years of cruising in circles around Central Oregon, he recently became a partner in The Bend Tour Company to focus more on scenic/historic/cultural tours of Bend via Segways, Electric Cruiser Cars, E-bikes and Cycle Pubs. Flannery is married to Paige Bentley-Flannery, local rockstar librarian and is the father of Pierson Flannery, official Bend Art Safari tour-guide understudy.

What will your child bring up in therapy years from now?

He will most likely mention the seemingly endless supply of “Dad jokes” I share with him and my love of doing “character voices” when reading stories and playing.

When describing my work to my kid I say . . .

I cruise in circles around Bend all day on various wacky contrapa-mobiles pointing out cool points of interests to people touring around town -like the Flaming Phoenix and hidden “Murals of Mystery”.

The golden rule in business and parenting is . . .

“It is better to ask forgiveness than permission”...oh wait that is not it...I think the two things have a lot in common but the goals in the end are pretty darn different since a parent will never worry about ROI like a business owner, which is a good thing if you look up what it takes to raise a child these days!

Things I’v’e Learned

A general rule for both is “Commit your body, mind and soul to do your best at tackling with a sense of humor even the most mundane tasks but never try to fool yourself into thinking that you will be in control of every little detail along the way.”

Casa Bay Photography

John F lannery

What did you learn from your Dad about being a Dad? Besides lifting a majority of my “Dad jokes” right out of my Dad’s playbook, my Dad also taught me that being a Dad means my “job description” in life will never stop morphing. One moment it is lunch maker, the next it is model rocket engineer...the next it is super-secret confidante, the next is being a walking thesaurus, and on and on and on. These days, it is those endless possibilities of my next “Dad duty” that keep me smiling the most. I mean who knew I could build and launch a rocket twice without it blowing up.

What is the best advice your parents gave you?

One of the best bits of advice my parents gave me growing up was “Sometimes the best plan is an exit plan.” In other words, “Never fear taking control of your own moments. If you are not happy with where you are at a given moment in time, always remember that you have the power to make change happen in your life.”

Do you have a role model?

My role model recipe is a generous portion of George Bailey from “It’s a Wonderful Life” mixed with a dash of Chris Hadfield (the singing astronaut) and of course a huge pinch of my parents. Honorable mention would be Rube Goldberg.

What do you think the next generation has in store for us?

I think this generation will build quite a resume for themselves featuring amazing scientific discoveries and creations of until now unheard of and unimagined doodads and gizmos. I envision contributions beyond yet another smartphone app that lets you order a ride around town or lets friends rate a pic of your latest meal. n BENDNEST.COM | SPRING 2016 | 39

adolescence is challenging.

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Puberty is a time of great change for young girls.

At St. Charles Center for Women’s Health, we encourage our young patients to take charge of their health from the very start. We help educate parents and daughters in the areas of body image, self esteem, anatomy, pregnancy and relationships.

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