Transformingbodyimagein recoverybyLucyBloomfield

Did I get sober and automatically get comfortable in my own skin? Hell no!

I was riddled with all the insecurities, self-doubt, disgust, and shame that were previously masked with alcohol and drugs, without anything to blur the edges. It's been an ongoing journey of deepening and softening into my sense of self.

Our bodies fluctuate throughout our lifetimes, so this isn't a once done process. But I'm committed for the long haul.

My past was full of addiction in all its forms Eating disorders, self-harm, sex, drugs, and alcohol I hated every aspect of myself, including my body Social conditioning tells us that if we are thin, we need curves If we are voluptuous, we need to lose weight We are bombarded with images and messages constantly that feed into our conscious and subconscious that we are 'not good enough' Is it any wonder we often strive for something externally to 'fix' us? Unrealistic expectations of perfection lead us to feeling less than Less than what? Someone's made up standard? Who decided what beauty is and why do we feel driven to pursue that which isn't our core values?

Throughout my adult life, I have been many shapes and sizes, from barely 6 stone to around 14 stone What I learnt through all of these weights was that a number never made me happy Believing once I achieved a size 8 or 10, I'd finally have an influx of self-love towards myself; I was sadly delusional Self-acceptance was always out of reach, but I'd grasp it, if only I lost a few pounds, got a thigh gap, lost the cellulite, got bigger boobs (insert your own brand of- what you need to be acceptable- here)

I began exercising for my mental health This shifted my perspective of a workout changing my body to alleviating my mind I become less obsessed about calories burned and more focused on endorphins released

I found activities that connected me to my body and took me out of my head I do pole fitness It's fun, and you can't be worrying about tomorrow if you're hanging upside down my one knee! It helped me celebrate what my body can do rather than what it looks like I learnt to be present in my body, something I'd been escaping for many years Cold water immersion also helped, kind of an enforced meditation - which, for this busy head, is sometimes needed! When was the last time you were truly 'in' your body? Our body holds so much wisdom, yet we often only tune in to our minds' messages What is your body trying to tell you?

I thought I could hate and punish myself into a better body Now I see the only way to start loving my body is to start loving my body I have caused my body to endure so much destruction, yet without any effort on my part, quietly functions and gradually heals itself It only asks me to offer it some gentle compassion

It's difficult to go from hatred to love, so begin with neutrality What parts of your body do you feel neutral about?

How many times have you looked back at photos from 5 years ago and thought you looked great, but now your X,Y,Z I've decided not to wait 5 years to realise I look good!

Once I began working on my spiritual condition, my body became of less importance

I don't love my body so much, it's all I think of I love it enough for it not to consume me anymore

Follow Lucy's journey here