The Skinny Student Handbook Scotland 2016

.CO.UK

THE SKINNY STUDENT HANDBOOK

INDEPENDENT

CULT U R A L

J O U R N A L I S M

www.theskinny.co.uk | @theskinnymag 2016–2017

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2016 – 2017

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Contents

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Your guide to the year’s top cultural events.

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How to get started in music, from forming a band to putting on gigs.

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Bluff your way through the literary canon with our cheat sheet.

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Uni + alcohol + Snapchat = nudes. If you’re gonna send ’em, send ’em right.

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Artists! Don’t put on a crap degree show.

We’ve got some tips.

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Cooking on a budget doesn’t have to be depressing. Our Food editor tells all.

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Get acquainted with some of Scotland’s best club nights.

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Dress to impress with our completely totally 100% infallible fashion hacks.

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It’s possible to be a cinephile without being a jerk. Just listen to our Film ed.

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Fancy getting into theatre? Auntie Trash will show you the way. Just don’t be a dick.

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Essential apps to help you be a functional human being.

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There’s no better time to travel than now.

Make the most of it.

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One-night stands: how to have them without losing your shit.

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From pubs and clubs to museums, galleries and bike cafes, let our city guides be your, ahem, guide to Edinburgh, Glasgow and Dundee.

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Some unorthodox money-saving tips from our in-house joker. You’re welcome.

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CREDITS Editors: Rosamund West & Lauren Strain Designer: Kyle McPartlin Production Manager: Sarah Donley Contributors: Felicity Benefutuis, Simon Jay Catling, Charlotte Davies, Jamie Dunn, Dan Fielding, Will Fitzpatrick, Claire Francis, Jess Hardiman, Edy Hurst, Laura Maclean, Kate Pasola, Will Reid, Peter Simpson, Amy Taylor, Megan Walsh Sales & Marketing: Caroline Harleaux, Mat Parry, Issy Patience, Grant Cunningham, Sandy Park, George Sully Illustrator: Veronica Grech Maps: © OpenStreetMap contributors, CC-BY-SA (openstreetmap.org) RADGE MEDIA Editor-in-Chief: Rosamund West General Manager: Kyla Hall Publisher: Sophie Kyle theskinny.co.uk @TheSkinnyMag @TheSkinnyMag @theskinnymag Get in touch: E: hello@theskinny.co.uk T: 0131 467 4630 P: The Skinny, 1.9 1st Floor Tower, Techcube, Summerhall, Edinburgh, EH9 1PL The Skinny is Scotland’s largest independent entertainment & listings magazine, and offers a wide range of advertising packages and affordable ways to promote your business. Get in touch to find out more.

E: sales@theskinny.co.uk All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part without the explicit permission of the publisher. The views and opinions expressed within this publication do not necessarily represent the views or opinions of the printer or the publisher.

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STUDENT HANDBOOK

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Heads Up September Now that the novelty of stealing traffic cones / engaging in pub golf / vomming in gutters has distinctly worn off, let’s get onto the good stuff, shall we? If you’re Edinburgh-based, take your new pals to an outdoor cinema at the Botanic Gardens to see the likes of Star Wars (2 Sep), Romeo and Juliet (3 Sep) and Jurassic Park (4 Sep).

Over on the west coast, check out SWG3’s food fest Let’s Eat Glasgow.

After that, head over to Take One Action Film Festival in Edinburgh & Glasgow from 14-25 Sep for a programme of feature films and shorts aiming to change the word. If you want to get really fancy, take advantage of Scottish Ballet’s Under 26 / student deal, which helps young people nab tickets to shows in Glasgow, Edinburgh, Aberdeen and Inverness for a tenner – less than the price of a Dominos.

Compiled by: Kate Pasola

Graphic Design Festival

Photo: Gordon Burniston

First year’s a slippery slope into a world of Super Noodles and #HouseLad club nights. Prepare adequately with our calendar of cultural offerings for the year ahead...

November Remember, remember, NEoN Digital Arts Festival, a programme of installations, exhibitions and performances across Dundee from 9-13 Nov. Oh, and the fifth of November! Head to Glasgow Green for a stellar eve of bucky and gunpowder; and Meadowbank Stadium or Calton Hill if you’re in the big ‘Burg. Also, leg it to Edinburgh Castle on 30 Nov – it’s St Andrew’s Day so you might be able to hustle your way in for free.

October Fine, look forward to Halloween if you must, but bear in mind how much brilliance Scotland’s proffering this October. There’s the Graphic Design Festival (17-23 Oct), Scotland Loves Animation Festival (14-23 Oct), a performance festival in celebration of Dario Fo’s 90th birthday and Africa in Motion, who will be bringing another programme of cliché-slaying films to Glasgow from 28 Oct-6 Nov. 8

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LISTINGS

Graphic Design Festival

Photo: Gordon Burniston

Let’s Eat Glasgow

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December Edinburgh goes berserk around this point of the year, which is handy because you’ve got revision to neglect. Mulled-wine and Belgian waffle-dine yourself at the crimbo markets throughout December, then stagger into 2017 (WTF) at Edinburgh’s gargantuan Hogmanay celebrations, complete with street parties, fireworks and ceilidhs galore (Dec 31).

Homanay

February Not gonna lie, February’s baltic climes are pretty minging up here, but hopefully by now you’ve locked down with some lovely person you met in your tutorials just in time for Valentine’s. But where to go? Catch some celluloid at Glasgow Film Festival (15-26 Feb), obviously. Or, if you’re riding more solo than Derulo, indulge your aching heart in something soulful at Edinburgh Student Arts Festival (9 Feb - 3 Mar).

March Just as you’re starting to shit bricks that you’re going to fail your first year, March explodes with all kinds of gallivanting and tomfoolery for your exploitation. There’s Glasgow Short Film Festival (15-19 Mar), RSA New Contemporaries – an exhibition of the sparkliest 2016 Scottish Fine Art graduates; Glasgow Comedy Festival (9-26 Mar); the impeccably named StAnza poetry festival in St Andrews (1-5 Mar); a silent cinema festival at Bo’ness Hippodrome Cinema (22-26 Mar), and Glasgow Restaurant Festival (dates TBC). Chill out, you can revise when you’re dead.

January Chances are your first year’s already given you a Hulk-esque metabolism for alcohol and freshers’ resilience, so Dry January can get tae fuck. You’re probably a bit poor though, so just look forward to the haggis-fiesta that is Burns Night for now.

Speaking of nosh, keep an eye out for the results of The Skinny’s Food and Drink Survey 2017 this month too. We’ll keep you right.

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LISTINGS

Glasgow Film Theatre

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ECA Degree Show 2016

Leith Late

Photo: Damien McGlynn

June YOU’RE FREE. TAPS AFF. Oh, it’s raining? Well, no, don’t celebrate with Netflix, you conglomerate of millennial loneliness and digital addiction. Go and interact with humans and the arts at Edinburgh International Film Festival. There’s also Leith Late, an annual arts festival of exhibitions, tours, marts and gigs (exact dates TBC), and top hats galore at Edinburgh Magic Festival (30 Jun-8 Jul).

If you want to properly acquaint yourself with this fine country, trek up to the Royal Highland Show (22-25 Jun).

May It’s degree show season! Go help those knackered art students get their long-awaited validation, starting out with DJCAD in Dundee, before continuing into June with the fruits of GSA and ECA’s labours. If checking out other people’s success is a bit close to the bone around exam-time (you’re probably knee-deep in textbooks, after all), flick on over to p22 and have a gander at our guide to degree show clichés – it’ll be almost like you’re actually there. Failing that, check out what Edinburgh Uni’s Improverts are up to; usually they chuck on a couple of Exam Shows, providing the student body with a little well-deserved comic relief.

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LISTINGS

Beltane

Photo: Neil Hodgins

April The massive geek-out that is Edinburgh International Science Festival kicks off your April (1-16 Apr). Go and hang with your fellow nerds, before heading to Glasgow’s book festival Aye Write! to pick out some decent springtime reading material. Alternatively, usher in the Summer Pagan-style at Beltane, a fire festival straddling Calton Hill on the last eve of April.

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Edinburgh Fringe

July If you’ve heeded the words of our in-house financier Edy Hurst (p82) and managed to save a bit of pocket money from your almost inexistent loan, now’s your chance to spend every last penny at one of Scotland’s music festivals. If you’re looking for a druggy oasis and have a high tolerance for white-man dreadlocks, give Kelburn Garden Party a go. If you’re a #lad with a penchant for mostly-male line-ups, try the perennial T in the Park; alty folk, head to Wickerman. After that, you can dash home, scrub up and head to Edinburgh International Fashion Festival and learn how to dress like an actual cool person in time for next semester.

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LISTINGS

T in the Park

Photo: Amy Muir

Photo: Zul Bhatia

Kelburn Garden Party

August Things were running a bit dry, culture-wise during August, so we thought we’d just point you towards the single largest arts festival in the human-inhabited universe. Edinburgh Festival Fringe takes place for three weeks this month, coinciding with the Edinburgh International Festival 4-28 Aug, another biggie. You’ve also got Edinburgh Art Festival, plus Edinburgh International Book Festival, usually cutting the ribbons at mid-August too, and thennnn – oh… would you look at that… it’s September again. You’ll be clutching a rolled-up degree and fake-smiling your way into the adult world in the blink of an eyelid, so just fucking enjoy yourself, will you?

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Book Yer Ane Fest

Doing Music Yourself Always fancied fronting a punk band? Accidentally bought a CDJ on eBay? You’ll be needing The Skinny’s guide to Scotland’s ever-fertile music scene Words: Katie Hawthorne

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ugging your vinyl collection into halls is one way to make sure your prospective new pals *know* you’re serious about rare reissues of Arthur Russell records. Alternatively, prove your alternative credentials by taking a big brave step right into the centre of your new local music scene. You’re in the best place for it: Edinburgh’s got tons of tiny clubs tucked in amongst those wynds, Dundee’s do-it-yerself attitude is second to none, and lucky new Glaswegians will be spoilt for musical choice every single damn night of the week. But if you fancy yourself as the next Honeyblood or Hudson Mohawke, you’ll need to get off your crappily assembled IKEA bed and put in some actual elbow grease. Ready to get started? Take advice from some of Scotland’s hardest working musical supremos – Martyn Flyn

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from electronic innovators LuckyMe – co-founded bu HudMo, the label is home to Rustie, TNGHT and Jacques Green; Emily MacLaren, founder and engineer at Glasgow’s The Green Door Studio, which has seen The Amazing Snakeheads, Palma Violets, Optimo and hundreds more through its doors; Dundee DIY chief Derrick Johnston of Make-That-A-Take records and the annual Book Yer Ane Fest; Michael Lambert, director of industry convention Wide Days; Joel White, head of bookings at the Art School; and Eilidh McMillan from grunge-pop Glasgow band Breakfast Muff as well as Rapid Tan, her solo project Jealous Girlfriend and “sometimes” Joanna Gruesome. Good luck! We’ll see you down the front for your first basement gig. ▶

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Martyn Flyn: Co-founder, LuckyMe What were the original intentions for LuckyMe? We formed the label – initially out of a club night in Glasgow – to release our friends’ music, inspired by the independent hip-hop scenes and the DIY attitude of a lot of electronic labels. We had a desire to keep a cohesive vision both musically and visually; this hasn’t really changed. We have always been ambitious and obviously things have grown considerably, but this really underpins how we have chosen the artists we work with – people we respect as musicians and can really connect with as friends.

How did LuckyMe grow into a fully international label?

It naturally occurred through connecting with other artists abroad and wanting to release their music... I’m fascinated with groups of people creating their own scene and culture around what they do wherever they are in the world – it feels relative to what we have been doing in Scotland – [and] this has definitely been why we have worked with so many artists from Montreal and NYC.

“ Put a value on your work, and don’t compromise decisions” Martyn Flyn

What advice would you give to someone for promoting their own music?

Make sure you are presenting your best work – every demo you make doesn’t need to be uploaded immediately. Consider your options and don’t just say yes immediately to every opportunity. Put a value on your work, and don’t compromise decisions because something in the short term seems like a good move.

Between Edinburgh and Glasgow, do you have a favourite music venue?

There’s plenty of excellent ones – The Art School, Sub Club, Broadcast etc, etc. I’d probably say my favourite is Sneaky Pete’s in Edinburgh; it feels like home and the crowd is always amazing.

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Martyn Flyn, LuckyMe

Michael Lambert: Director, Wide Days How did you first get involved in music in Scotland?

I started out playing in bands through school and university, before moving into artist management [Lambert co-owns A Modern Way, managing Fatherson and Idlewild]. During my time as a musician I attended a monthly music industry social night called Born To Be Wide, where I met a bunch of amazing people involved in the scene.

Over the years this has evolved into a company which I now co-run.

What exactly is Wide Days?

Wide Days is Scotland’s only music industry convention – a two-day event that’s designed to appeal to everyone from emerging musicians through to seasoned industry professionals. It’s really a meeting place for the music community, with a day of panels and talks, a programme of gigs showcasing the best new Scottish talent followed by a day of networking and socialising.

The event takes place in Edinburgh each April.

What’s your favourite thing about Edinburgh’s music scene?

The diversity of the scene in Edinburgh is really exciting. Once you scratch below the surface, you ▶

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realise there are tonnes of subcultures going on – Sneaky Pete’s hosts great club nights for fans of electronic music, Electric Circus put on hundreds of touring bands, Alive and Amplified run regular new band nights at the Leith Depot, Neu! Reekie! fuse poetry, music and spoken word in some of the city’s best venues, and there are numerous folk sessions going on in pubs like the Royal Oak, the Captains Bar and Sandy Bells.

There’s something for everyone. Don’t be shy, get stuck in!

Joel White: Bookings at the Art School How does the Art School impact Glasgow’s music scene?

Glasgow’s music scene is too sprawling for us to measure ‘impact’ in some easy way, and this is one of the best things about it. We support lots of new musicians and artists from the city, we think critically about the politics of club spaces and what role a venue plays in that; an overdue discussion that we’re still very much trying to work on. We’re lucky that we have a really malleable space; it can host the most huge immersive productions and live performances, but also do much smaller exhibitions, readings and discussion based events.

Do you have any advice to a band fancying a support slot?

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who would be up for helping you. I think it’s good to start by thinking about what kind of scene you’d want to be part of, and why. Get involved with all the amazing musical/artistic pivoting points in the city, which are more about trying stuff out, learning and experimenting together.

Emily MacLaren: Co-founder & engineer at The Green Door Why did you decide to open The Green Door?

Sam [Smith], Stuart [Evans] and I came together out of frustration with commercial recording studios and the idea of a commercial music industry. We all believe that music is made within communities; it’s about trying to foster a community of musicians who put on gigs together, put out records together and support each other.

That’s part of the ethos of the studio, and the workshops that we offer; it’s not really training people to be sound engineers, it’s encouraging musicians to take control over the sounds they’re recording, to be more self-reliant.

Why did you set up shop in Glasgow?

Glasgow is the best city in the world for making music! You’ve got good music in the clubs, good music on a live level, and people going to both – kind of cross-pollinating with each other. Golden Teacher are a really good example: people who were in a hardcore band and people who are DJs coming together to make something you can’t quite put your finger on. It’s emblematic of the Glasgow spirit. ▶

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What advice do you give to musicians recording for the first time?

It should be fun! You need an open minded approach. I think people can kill it for themselves by trying to be too professional – they get to a point when they’re working on their CV or their Twitter account, and they lose sight of why they wanted to make music in the first place. Don’t try and make something you think will sell, because most likely you’ll end up polishing something really uninteresting… that probably won’t sell anyway.

Follow the sound that’s in your head. Experiment.

Make sure that you’ve rehearsed the songs, and you’re confident you can play them! This is your shot. We often tell people to come in with the core song, and then let the recording process take over; you can compose as you record, let the song evolve.

How can students get involved with The Green Door?

Our projects are all free for people to participate it. Get in contact and we’ll put you on the list!

Sonic Youth is a ten week production course and people come in two days a week. They learn the basics, and get a free recording and mixing session. We’ve just been awarded funding from Creative Scotland’s Youth Music Initiative, so that will be running again in February. Our electronic music club is ongoing – every few months we do a six day course for people who want to learn how to use drum machines and synthesisers.

Super Groups works in partnership with the

African Arts Centre and the integration network to bring in young refugees and people who are new to Glasgow, for workshops and group demos.

Eilidh McMillan: Musician, Breakfast Muff When did you first get involved in music?

I’d never been in a band until about three years ago, when I took a free short course in recording and engineering at Green Door. That’s where I met Simone (Breakfast Muff) and we started a band together with some of my other pals, and we recorded an EP. I wasn’t knowledgeable about music at all before we started Breakfast Muff. I couldn’t play drums, guitar or bass and now I can.

You have to do things that scare you.

“ Don’t take shit from straight white cis males who play boring guitar music” Eilidh McMillan

How did you first start playing shows and sharing your music?

The first couple of gigs we played were through friends of friends, and James McKay (then

The Van T’s

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Do you have any tips for anyone new to a music scene?

Help other people carry their gear. Be friendly.

Don’t play gigs at venues that make you sell tickets. Take risks. Be hopeful. Play the music you want to, not what everyone else is doing. Don’t try to be cool. Go to lots of shows. Stay away from industry snakes. Play instruments you’ve never played before – mistakes are just happy accidents. Tour and tour and tour. Talk to your heroes if you get the chance. Put up bands from other towns. Arrange a fee prior to non-DIY gigs. Don’t be a diva but do be proud of your music. Get a job you don’t care about so you can quit to play a tour if you have to. Play music with your best friends and play music with people you don’t know. Stand up for you and your friends. And, most importantly, don’t take shit from straight white cis males who play boring guitar music.

Derrick Johnston: Founder of DIY punk label Make-That-A-Take What were your goals for MTAT? In the very beginning, there were no real goals beyond our little collective supporting each other to put out our own music, playing our own shows and putting on bands that we wanted to see.

Putting on the best possible shows in the most positive environment and being involved in releasing music that we’re emotionally invested in continues to be our motivation. It’s very exciting to see your friends develop their art and reach more people than we’d ever imagined possible.

What are the shared values behind the collective?

We’ve always had a “social conscience” of sorts; we were founded as an anti-racist, anti-fascist, antisexist collective and that’s something that we carry with us to this day. Since then, we’ve hosted hundreds of shows and put out almost 100 releases.

Things have evolved naturally over time but we still carry those same values of freedom from oppression in our hearts; that’s a battle that will never change!

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Breakfast Muff

Photo: Derek Robertson

booker at the 13th Note, now booker at Nice ‘N’ Sleazy) was very kind and gave us a chance... even though we were kind of weird and had no idea what we were doing. The best thing to do is play every gig you can and be nice to people – you have to work with other acts, the promoter, the sound engineer and the people working in the venue, so it’s important to be respectful and help people out.

We believe that music and punk can help foster a positive environment and fairer society for all. We’ve done loads of benefit shows over the years in support of the likes of Doctors Without Borders, Dundee Foodbank, Dundee Refugee Support, Oxfam, Skateistan, Mindscape Counselling, Maggie’s Centres and many more. Our moral and ethical values inform everything that we do and will always continue to do so. For me, personally, one does not exist without the other as they’re intrinsically linked. That’s always been the basis of punk rock for me, ever since the Dead Kennedys blew my mind as a teenager.

Do you have advice for anyone wanting to get involved?

The absolute best thing to do is to come down to a show and say hello. We are always super keen to hear from new people that have an interest and would like to get involved in our community; contact is key!

As far as putting on your own shows goes, just do it and go with your guts. The first show we ever put on, way before MTAT existed, was in a Girl Guide hut in Alyth in the mid 90s. While hardly Knebworth, it set us on a path that we’ve followed to this day with a spirit we still carry with us. If we can do this, anyone can!

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The Bookworm’s Guide to Bluffing Haven’t read the literary canon?

Don’t worry – you can cheat

The Actually Great American One The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath (1963).

Words: Will Reid

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s any English student who paid attention at ALevel knows, all written output of the last 200 years – when subjected to even the most sophisticated literary theory – basically comes down to sex and death. Death, and sex. Sometimes deathly sex. And occasionally sexy death. Some books are about a bit more than that though, so to help you through any lofty conversations you might find yourself in at society parties, here’s a quick briefing on some of those cornerstones of literature you’re supposed to have read.

The Contemporary One My Struggle by Karl Ove Knausgaard (2012-present).

Digested read: My name is A Thinly Veiled Version of the Author – sorry, Esther Greenwood – and in telling my story as a bright young student with a promising future who can nonetheless feel nothing (or sometimes too much), I offer an unmatched account of depression, the poison of the American Dream, the lie of female empowerment and the ultimate madness of the world. I, uh. I promise it’s worth it.

Do say: Tbh, just have a big cry.

D on’t say: “A film adaptation by Kirsten Dunst starring Dakota Fanning seems like a really good idea.”

Read also: Paulina & Fran by Rachel B. Glaser, for a contemporary update of liberal-arts ennui.

Digested read: I am a writer. I am a man. But first, I am useless. Here are all the times in my life when I’ve been useless. But also, you know, a wavering and delicate flame of complex humanity. Just like you. Just like all of us.

Why don’t you have a good think about that while I manage to state a deep and resonating existential truth simply by describing this chair.

Do say: “I think his power comes from his hair.”

Don’t say: “He’s like the Scandinavian Proust.”

Read also: Proust.

The ‘Great American’ One The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway (1926).

The Cult One Neuromancer by William Gibson (1984).

Digested read: Wooooowooooo I’m in The Matrix!!!!! o say: “Actually, the first recorded usage of D the term ‘cyberspace’ was in a short story Gibson wrote two years prior.”

Don’t say: “Where’s the weird orgy with the body sockets?”

Read also: Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel, for a vision of the future rapidly decelerating instead.

The Obvious One On the Road by Jack Kerouac (1957).

Digested read: Saxophones saxoDigested read: Everyone is in Spain phones saxophones sex saxophones being a dick. They’re all in love with the saxophones saxophones cars saxobiggest dick of the lot, who will drive you round the absolute bend yet somehow allow you to understand phones saxophones saxphones drugs saxophones more fully the essential sadness of being. (So infur- saxophones saxophones plaid.

Do say: “Personally I preferred Joyce’s execuiating.) There’s also a funny bit about taxidermied dogs. tion of the stream-of-consciousness mode.”

Do say: “Hemingway, pah! He’s no Fitzgerald.”

D on’t say: “I really admire his attitude to Don’t say: “I’m going to write my dissertawards women.” tion on this.”

Read also: F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Read also: Big Sur by Jack Kerouac. It’s loads better.

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The Art of Sending Nudes Uni + alcohol + Snapchat = nudes. Here’s Deviance’s guide to baring it all without accidentally ruining your life Words: Felicity Benefutuis

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aking the perfect nude is hard work, and an under-appreciated art form. The meteoric rise in popularity and spread of cyber-nudes is a credit to millennials – my own pictures have had a reach of three continents, which I attribute to both vanity and industriousness. I treat my nudes like the artwork that they are; I’ve even been known to give workshops in how to take the perfect birthday-suit selfie.

While sending naked portraits to romantic interests is by no means new, it’s easier than ever to do so thanks to the likes of Snapchat. Combine digital developments with the unlimited privacy, casual sex-positivity and alcohol to be found at uni and it’s no wonder we’re all photographing our arses for one another 24/7.

Though they are a wonderful tool in LDRs, for treating trustworthy sex-pals and generally for encouraging body positivity, our enthusiasm for taking nudes has, unfortunately eclipsed our wisdom. But fret no more, fresher. I’m here to demystify the world of nude-sending in the hope that I can change the lives of horny smartphone-owners around the globe.

Do I need consent?

Er, yes. No matter how lovely you think your genitals are, it is not fair and not legal to force someone else to look at them. Furthermore, never allow some prick to pressure you into taking a naked photo. because a) that’s bullshit behaviour and b) a nude is at its best when it is taken out of pure pride and vanity.

Will this come back to haunt me when I’m rich and famous?

While it’s abundantly clear that Snapchat’s primary function is to spread consequence-free snaps of your nips, the dreaded screenshot somewhat clips your wings.

A well-founded fear is of exposure; every time I’ve made the rookie error of firing off a picture which includes my face the question looms. Nude-leaking is very much a possibility, and a consequence to 2016 – 2017

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consider seriously. Hopefully legislation will change and these vengeful, pervy bastards will be brought to justice. In the meantime, remember this is you at your most confident, in your young and sexy prime.

But the point remains, guys and gals: NEVER. INCLUDE. YOUR. FACE. What if my nudes affect future relationships?

Good question. Should your new partners be aware that X number of picture recipients have seen your perfectly illuminated butt? Short answer: no, you don’t need to tell anyone about what you did with another consenting adult. Anyone who tries to shame you for past exploits is not worth your time.

“ NEVER. INCLUDE. YOUR. FACE.” Is it ever OK to recycle nudes?

Occasionally when you have unveiled yourself as a sexual being, recipients can become demanding as you are expected to be perpetually horny and willing to deliver explicit goods. It’s boring and difficult to bang out sexy pictures on command; feel free to archive and repurpose your best nudes. They are your intellectual property and you are not a machine.

Should I feel guilty about using a filter?

Often there’s an element of guilt in sending flatteringly orchestrated body pictures. I’ve occasionally wondered whether it counts as catfishing to send pictures of my bum living its best life (it only looks quite that perky if I lie on my side and practically fold in half, which is not a posture I’m prepared to maintain).

The best response to this is that that is your body and in that moment, at that angle, it really did look that good.

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How to do a Good Degree Show Hey art student! You want your degree show to be totally amazing right? We’ve got some tips and we’ve got some gripes and hopefully the combination of the two will create a useful guide you can use to make your degree show a wonderful place for all of us Words: Rosamund West Illustration: Veronica Grech Go to the degree shows This may seem obvious but evidence suggests it is not. More on that later. Go to all the degree shows. Go to as many as you can reach across the country. Gauge the level of work and the variety of techniques and the time you’re going to need to put in (hint: it’s all the time).

Don’t worry about the grade Take a risk. Focus on your practice and on creating something authentic. The most important thing is that you display your vision in its truest form, and that you use this opportunity to stretch yourself. Marking something as subjective as fine art is inherently flawed, and frankly no one will care about your grade by the time the degree show opens.

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Know your privilege This is a unique opportunity of access to equipment and training and space and time that you won’t have after graduation so make the most of it.

Departmental confusion We’ve all seen the degree show where someone has clearly wanted to do jewellery, ended up in painting, then continued to make jewellery but without the actual technical training in how to do it. They’ll quite often end up retraining after graduation, which just seems like a waste of a painting degree. If your heart lies in a different department, work out how to get into it. Unless literally everyone is telling you you’re terrible at it, in which case you might be best placed to listen to them. ▶

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Befriend your peers Get to know people in your year and the years above you, look at their work, understand what they are doing. The purpose of this is twofold – one, talking to people about art and establishing your creative network is one of the main points of art school. People will literally never ask you what you got in your degree in the real world, it’s the peer review and brain rewiring that happens in the process of your time at college that makes an art school education of incomparable value.

Two, it means you’ll be familiar with what’s been done before and that means you won’t make the same godforsaken show that’s been made every year for time immemorial and might actually create something of relative originality.

Don’t be a cliché As longstanding degree show attendees, the Art department of The Skinny have noticed a few repeated themes over the years and we would like them to stop, quite frankly. It’s got to the point where we’ve made bingo cards of degree show tropes, and we’re sharing them covertly with other art world familiars. Imagine you’d spent a year slaving over your show and then on opening night realised bastards like us were sniggering and Instagramming and ticking things off on a crudely made bingo card. You’d be devastated right? That’s why we’ve decided to share our sage advice with you now, before you’ve committed any of these terrible cliches. We’re nice like that.

THINGS TO AVOID MAKING Granny’s Living Room The classic has got to be Granny’s Living Room.

The scrupulous recreation of your granny’s living room in a degree show space, complete with gas fire and some sort of rocking chair, terrible red striped wallpaper and an oil painting of a Scottish landscape.

We get it – you’re young, you’ve been asked to make work about something that matters profoundly to you and not that much has happened to you at this point. You loved your granny – that is understood. But please, please don’t recreate her living room in intricate detail. It happens every single year, sometimes twice in one show. And we take photos of it and we laugh at you. Is that a fitting tribute to your granny? Is it? Also it’ll probably earn you a third.

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Shit latex “It’s so bodily.” No, it’s not. Stop pretending you’re setting the world alight by saying some latex is a vagina. We’re way beyond that, as you would know if you’d paid attention in your lectures.

Shed shed shed Shed that was previously outside, displayed inside with documentation of its previous position outside. This is an odd one because it can work in the right circumstances, but it happens a lot and it’s probably down to Simon Starling. Employ with care.

“ Stop pretending you’re setting the world alight by saying some latex is a vagina” Bad taxidermy It is not enough to just throw in a stuffed badger and hope that makes the viewer ponder deeply upon their own mortality. You have to do something really interesting with that badger to make the work worthwhile and ensure that your mockery of that poor creature’s corpse isn’t futile.

Also think long and hard before embarking on any amateur animal stuffing. We’ve all seen enough taxidermy gone wrong at this point and it ain’t pretty.

The Room of Rotting Meat Again, this is used as a shorthand for mortality and an attempt to shock the viewer. Not going to happen mate, this crowd has seen it all.

Plagiarism You might have just heard of Karla Black, but that doesn’t mean your viewers don’t know her. Let’s not waste everyone’s time yeah?

So there you have it. All the information you need to make a banging degree show. You’re welcome. theskinny.co.uk/art

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A Slice of Life

We offer up some foodie advice, but keep it simple by sticking to the dual student lifeforces: pizza, and beer Words: Peter Simpson

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or most students, their university lives will be the first time they have any real control over (or responsibility for) their diet. Oh sure, we’ve all thrown a strop and gone in a bit of a huff over what’s been served up for dinner, but that’s a hard trick to pull when you made the dinner yourself. Not impossible, but hard to do. This lack of experience, juggled alongside the fellow joys of budgeting and time management, leads to the understandable temptation to cut corners, and opt for easy solutions that seem like a good idea at the time but just end up as culinary disasters. Well, we won’t stand for it. You’re a smart bunch, and you can do better. No we are not taking this too seriously, thank you very much.

The fact of the matter is your new city is packed with great indie food and drink, and a lot of the time it isn’t that expensive, or even that pretentious, so you just should go and eat and drink it all. We don’t have space to talk about

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literally everything, and we’re sure you’ll get the point after we’ve given a couple of examples.

Allow us to go all ‘cooler older brother’ on you, and focus on two student staples: pizza, and beer.

PIZZA Really, you lot should be making your own pizza.

It doesn’t require a lot of ingredients, it’s quite cheap, and it’s one of those culinary skills that looks dead impressive once you get the hang of it.

Do look up some web tutorials on getting your dough right and for the best way to cook your pizza (here’s a hint: you’ll need a good frying pan). Don’t try to do that ‘spinning it above your head’ thing unless you want to spend the next few days picking chunks of damp flour from behind the sofa.

If you really can’t bring yourself to making the stuff, but still want to wolf down a slice or two, you’re probably thinking of hitting up one of those pizza ▶

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chains that spend loads of cash on marketing and getting a guy to bring you pizza. There are probably a few of their menus sitting on your table just now, tempting you with their bright colours and shit puns.

Well, don’t be suckered in. For one thing, look at the prices; you are supposed to be a student, not the scion of some cash-rich dynasty trying to burn the inheritance by overpaying for bad pizza.

Once you get out of the ‘buy one get one free’ and ‘£1 pizza with about a million asterisks’ deals, you’ll find that charging high double digits for what is basically flour, water, cheese and tomato is how they make up for all that advertising.

But there’s a better reason than our vague anti-The Man sentiment, and that’s that you’re in a big city, packed with great pizza. Go out and see that city, and grab pizza along the way; you’ll get out of the house, have a better slice, and you might even learn something. Probably not, but still, could happen.

If you’re in Edinburgh, Civerinos at Hunter Square just off the Royal Mile and Wildmanwood behind Bristo Square are good places to start.

Civerinos serves up enormous sourdough pies topped with exciting and well-planned toppings, in a cool space packed with little quirks to gawp at while you wait. They’re open late at weekends, and they’re planning a second by-the-slice spot if you’re in a rush. Wildmanwood take things the other way, with authentic Neapolitan flavour combinations on super-thin crusts; you’ll learn to love anchovies, and a pizza and a few beers still won’t cost as much as a hotdog-stuffed monstrosity from Chain Pizza Place du Jour.

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pizza. Their hybrid yeast and sourdough dough takes days to prepare, and their wood fired ovens were built by genuine Neapolitans, but they’ll still do you a pizza and a beer for a tenner. Ten pounds, people. Out in the West End, Little Italy has been dishing out pizza for as long as most of you freshers have been alive, so the least you could do is pay them a visit. You’ll find the kind of customisation you expect from your fancy ‘order via smartphone, deliver via drone strike’ pizza chain, but with lower prices, nicer ingredients, and the warm glow of knowing that the good people at The Skinny think you’re cool.

BEER There haven’t been many better times to enter the world of drinking than right now. The smoking ban allows you to nip to the pub without having to burn your wardrobe or honk on a can of oxygen afterwards, and the craft beer boom means you can get very nice beer basically everywhere for not all that much money. It’s almost certainly all downhill from here – best get to the bar before we move onto artisanal alcopops or redo that trend of all of our drink garnishes being on fire.

With that in mind, here are two very important words to remember when it comes to beer – false economy. Yes, you could go down to the shop and grab a four-pack of cheap, big-name lager, and it’ll cost you X. However, that beer may well look, smell and taste like piss, and no-one wants that. Spend a little bit more – and we’re talking tens of pence per drink here – and you can get yourself some local craft beers that don’t remind you of urine, but are instead packed with flavour

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and intrigue. If you think you don’t have the money, you do; you’re just being a cheap bastard. If 20p is going to be the difference between paying your rent or not, maybe don’t go to the pub in the first place. That’s a ‘life hack’ for you.

So don’t drink bad beer, and don’t go to crap pubs either. We know that we just said “oh you’ve never had it so good”, but the pub trade is having a bad time right now with premises shutting left and right. It turns out all those smoking old men from earlier were drinking the entire time. Without customers, pubs can’t stay open, so go to them.

And if those two nuggets of solid advice weren’t enough, here’s another: if you don’t know what you want, ask the bar staff for their suggestions. If they can’t provide any, you’re probably in one of those crap pubs from the previous paragraph. Good bars employ people who like and know about beer, and they’ll steer you right, especially once you have a couple of favourites you can use as reference points. That said, they aren’t bloody psychic, so talk to them.

But you’re students, and chances are you’ll spend a good amount of your drinking time in your kitchen as an accidental party rages around you.

Fair play to you, we’ve all done it. The good news is that recently-inked distro deals mean you can grab beers from a host of Scotland’s best craft breweries in supermarkets across the country – beers from Williams, Stewart, WEST and Jaw Brew are common sights, with hyper-local efforts like Barney’s and Alechemy also fairly widely available.

An even bigger selection can be found in speciality beer shops like Valhalla’s Goat or Hippo in Glasgow and Cornelius or Great Grog in Edinburgh; staffed by people who know what they’re talking about, they’re great places to track down more obscure or exciting beers.

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Making Beer at Stewart Brewing

Photos: Sarah Donley

“ If you think you don’t have the money for good beer, you do; you’re just being a cheap bastard”

And if you decide to quit on your chosen society within a few weeks but still want something to do, why not make your own beer? Shops like Brewstore in Edinburgh and Glenbrew in the West End of Glasgow sell everything you need to make your own beer from kit or scratch, while Stewart Brewing just outside Edinburgh will let you come in and make your own beer in the brewery. We made one, and it was bloody lovely, so who knows what you lovely clever-clogs can achieve?

Only one way to find out... theskinny.co.uk/food-and-drink

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Photo: Jassy Earl

Jackmaster

Find Your Sweatbox First time clubbing in Caledonia? Fair warning for everyone who’s just arrived to our shores – expect an altogether more intense clubbing experience here Words: Claire Francis

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t’s difficult to capture just what imbues Scotland’s scene with such a distinctive energy: the constant West Coast rain may have a lot to do with our fondness for congregating indoors. Countless DJs have suggested the 3am closing times prompt an urgency you don’t find elsewhere; others look further back, to the heady escapism of Scottish rave culture in a 1980s post-industrial landscape. In any case, if it’s a late one you’re after, don’t despair.

If you’re still standing when the clock strikes three, you’ll no doubt catch wind of the many after-parties we can’t mention here.

So let’s jump in – here, we present to you the venues, events and parties you absolutely need to know about. You’re welcome.

GLASGOW If ever there was a venue that epitomised Scotland’s passion for clubbing, it’s the Sub Club (or ‘Subbie’ to those in the know). Going strong since 1987, the venue continues to attract the greatest names in 2016 – 2017

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house, techno and beyond, and is a regular fixture in Top Ten lists of clubs both in Europe and around the world. Sub Club is also home to one of Europe’s finest sound systems, employing a bodysonic dancefloor that literally roots the building’s foundations in sound. The venue took a temporary hiatus earlier this year, closing for some weeks for an interior spruce-up. Many feared that their beloved, slightly grimy venue would be drastically altered, but the low-ceiling basement returned as dark and dance-ready as ever – just a little more clean and spacious.

Sub Club is also the spiritual home of Optimo.

Founded in 1997, DJs Twitch and Wilkes have since seen their club brand go global, with appearances on Boiler Room and RBMA, and shows in more countries than you’ll ever visit. The Jamaica Street club has also been home to residents Harri & Domenic’s Subculture party since 1994, and was also an early home to Glasgow techno favourites Slam. More recently, promoters such as Numbers and Sensu ▶

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have become staples at the venue. Sub Club’s guests are many and varied, but always top quality – acts this year have included The Black Madonna, Agoria, Bicep, and the inimitable Derrick Carter, as well as a Boiler Room set showcasing local talents Jackmaster and Denis Sulta.

“If you’re still standing when the clock strikes three, you’ll no doubt catch wind of the many after-parties we can’t mention here” Downstairs at Max’s Bar on Queen Street you’ll find La Cheetah Club, one of the city’s best small-room outfits. Boasting a powerful FunktionOne system, a striking, slightly raised square DJ box, and recently updated fit-out, the teeny-tiny space packs a mean punch when it comes to electronic music. It’s here that Code stage their dark, driving techno events, and the We Should Hang Out More crew bring 100% positive vibes 32

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Photo: Nick Bojdo

Bonobo

with their unhinged disco-funk selections.

Upstairs in Max’s Bar, you can always count on some excellent tunes from the venue’s resident DJs. La Cheetah guests this year have included Helena Hauff, Rebecca Vasmant and Joy Orbinson.

A devastating fire that destroyed part of the iconic Glasgow School of Art made headlines in 2014, but it’s The Art School, home to the Glasgow School of Art Students’ Association, that always features prominently in Glasgow’s clubbing highlights. The venue has always been a particular favourite for those in need of a midterm blowout and perhaps has a bolder approach to clubbing than the more commercial spots around town.

The venue’s appeal comes from its ability to attract a variety of local and international acts, while making sure it maintains a strong focus on new and experimental sounds too. The Art School reopened in fine style following a refurbishment process in 2014, and local outfits (and Art School regulars) Animal Farm, Dense & Pika and Huxley have featured this year.

The Berkeley Suite is Glasgow’s best venue for all things funk and disco (alongside some excellent house and techno acts, to boot). An intimate venue in a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it location at Charing Cross, it plays host to some of the finest DJs from around the globe as well as some cuttingedge club events. The cult disco night Supermax with DJ Billy Woods sees queues stretching around the block on a monthly basis, and the venue also hosts reggae heavyweights Mungo’s Hi-Fi with their ‘Walk N Skank’ Thursdays. Nightmares On Wax, ▶

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OOFT! and Ivan Smagghe have all drawn big crowds this year. Be warned – this downstairs venue gets crowded, sweaty and HOT. Venturing further into the West End, SWG3 (Studio Warehouse Glasgow) runs an annual programme of exhibitions, gigs, clubs and events as well as being home to a community of over 120 artists and designers. Located in an archway by the motorway in Glasgow’s West End, SWG3 hosts a programme of live music which straddles all manner of genres, from local musicians and touring artists alike. Pressure’s parties here are HUGE, and this year Guy Gerber, Len Faki, Bonobo, Adam Beyer and Nicole Moudaber have all spun up a storm across the multi-room space.

former church. A relatively recent arrival, the gig and club venue has already made an impact with the sheer diversity of its programming. Andy Weatherall’s A Love From Outer Space, Perc, and Prosumer have all played here in recent months.

DUNDEE (AND FURTHER AFIELD)

Those living in Dundee had best familiarise themselves with The Reading Rooms. Housed in a former public library, the club has been running since 2002, and consistently offers up some of the best club nights to be found north of Edinburgh.

Making sure it goes off on the regular is Headway, the city’s longest running house and techno night.

Previous guests have included Green Velvet, Daniel Avery and Dave Clarke.

EDINBURGH Meanwhile, if you ever find yourself in the tiny Over in the capital, the holy trinity of Cabaret town of Paisley, an education in clubbing history Voltaire, The Liquid Room, and La Belle Angéle can be found in the form of The Club. The Club, forare where you’ll find those who take their house merly known as Club 69 (and before that, Rocksy’s and techno seriously.

Basement), draws in top class talent – luminaries Cabaret Voltaire is a city centre nightclub sit- such as Ivan Kutz and Marc Houle have taken over uated in the heart of Edinburgh’s Old Town. The the decks this year – and the venue has been chamclub itself is part of the cavernous network of the pioning a raw, underground club aesthetic since Edinburgh Vaults built deep underneath the city the 90s, in spite of suffering its share of licensing in the 18th century. Club curators FLY CLUB host problems over the years. their weekly underground house & techno party Finally, we venture all the way north to here, with residents Denis Sulta and Theo Kottis. Aberdeen, where Tunnels has established itself Meanwhile, La Belle Angele and The Liquid Room as one of Scotland’s best out-of-the-way music have both risen from the flames, rather literally. venues. Refurbished in 2014 with new sound sysThe former made a triumphant return from the tems, Tunnels is now home for some of the UK’s ashes, after being destroyed by a fire in 2002, and best underground club nights, with events this reopened in 2014 with a slightly bigger venue year from John Talabot, Rødhåd and Alan Fitzpatrick. capacity of around 550; guests this year have But that’s enough erudition for now – get out included Jonas Kopp, Carl Craig and Hot Chip. there and live the music!

Meanwhile, Old Town club The Liquid Room retheskinny.co.uk/clubs opened in 2010 after a fire in 2008 prompted a major upgrade. They host roving Edinburgh party NIGHTVISION, and Tweak’s monthly parties – now fortnightly, due to their increasing popularity – have brought the likes of Tale Of Us and Hot Since 82 to the capital.

In Edinburgh, you can also throw down at Sneaky Pete’s. The Cowgate club is a very literal one-room affair – walk through the door and you’re right in the thick of things. The programming is geared towards students, with guest DJs playing on school nights as well as at the weekends. It may be small capacity, but the venue has already hosted the high calibre acts Jacques Greene, Gerd Janson and David Barbarossa.

Rounding out Edinburgh’s top club spots, the Sub Club Mash House is a multi-room venue built into a 2016 – 2017

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Fashion Hacks Make your own face masks out of porridge and PVA glue!

Turn those jeans into really unflattering hotpants! Fed up of getting rubbish advice when it comes to saving money?

Here at The Skinny we like to keep things a little more real Words: Jess Hardiman DON’T listen to the fashionistas They’re the ones who told you to run out and buy capes (!?), wear neon and scrape your hair into tiny little man-buns. They may seem srsly fash at the time, but these people are not your friends, and they really don’t have a freaking clue. Ab Fab’s a parody for a reason.

DO buy kids’ clothes Quick tip for you here: children’s clothing isn’t taxed. What a way to screw the system! Stick it to the man! You’ll be best off going for the plainer pieces (‘Cheeky Little Monkey’-type slogans are nauseating even on children), like stripy tees from the little boys’ section in Primark that cost £2, and will look exactly the same as ‘grown-up’ ones under a dungaree dress or over some jeans. Kinda.

DO buy kids’ shoes In the same vein, many children’s shoe retailers stock styles up to size 5 or 6 – handily, the size that many of us wear (mostly women’s footwear we’re talking about here, we’d imagine). And in a somewhat timely twist of fate, it also seems trainers with light-up soles are back in fashion!

If you’re a total tit, that is.

DON’T underestimate how lazy you are We don’t want to be the ones to kill your creative dreams, but let’s face it, not many of us are particularly adept with a sewing machine… and the rest of us can’t be arsed. Don’t buy pieces you have to re-work if you know it won’t happen, and if you do, keep it simple – new buttons on a cheap cardi can sometimes make all the difference, for example – and save the bigger ventures for Halloween.

DO use your student discount Boy, you’ll miss it when it’s gone. Use it at ASOS, 36

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Topshop, Topman, Urban Outfitters et al., though if you’re in a smaller, independent shop, don’t be afraid to ask if that’s the lowest price they can do.

If they look at you like the tight-fisted cheap bastard you truly are, you’ll lose only your pride – and frankly, you don’t need that for adult life anyway.

DO rely on classic staples Fast fashion straight-up sucks if you’re on a budget. Sometimes it’s not so bad to be basic – think like the French and stick to Breton tops and skinny jeans, which will work for decades to come. Standing out from the crowd is overrated and, er, bloody costly.

DO buy pre-loved Second-hand clothes that someone may or may not have died in? You’ll get waaay over that once you’re broke. IIf you’re going to go vintage, try Mr Ben’s in Glasgow or Armstrong’s in Edinburgh, or if you’re heading down the charity shop route, remember to be picky; charity shops in well-to-do areas will have the good shit you’re after. Just remember to wash it first, yeah?

DO repeat outfits You’ll soon realise everyone’s too busy looking at themselves to realise you wore the same thing yesterday. In short: play on people’s vanity. It’s one of the few things you can always rely on. Deep.

DON’T go to the sales Sounds counter-intuitive, no? But you’ll end up buying some really weird stuff that’s in the sale for a reason. Sometimes sale-shopping is better online, as you can leave bits in your virtual basket for long enough to realise how gross they are. And if they still make the cut after an hour or two? Go wild. theskinny.co.uk/fashion

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Sign up for the ZAP! Get a hand-picked selection of the top events for Edinburgh, Glasgow and Dundee delivered direct to your inbox, every Thursday morning.

PLUS exclusive access to special offers and competitions. And the best part? It’s FREE! Sign up today! theskinny.co.uk/ zap Illustration: Nick Booton

/theskinnymag @theskinnymag @theskinnymag

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A Guide to Student Cinephilia Don't fool yourself into thinking you'll have time to watch the whole 15 hours of Berlin Alexanderplatz after you graduate. Now is the time to get properly lost in movies before gainful employment gets in the way Words: Jamie Dunn Watch films: lots of them Step one is to expand your palate. You may have rocked up to halls with an Empire subscription and a Netflix account, but chances are you’re ignorant of vast swathes of film history. Don’t let this fact dishearten you: you’ll never see all the great films by the pantheon directors, and your ignorance will increase with each passing year as dozens of movies are added to the ‘canon’ (you’ll be lucky if you can see all of them). In fact, this is cause to rejoice: no matter how many movies you watch there will always be new ones to discover.

Work out what you don’t know Locate where the gaping holes in your film knowledge lie. Who are the major directors you’ve managed to avoid over the years? Which nations’ cinema are you patchy on? Don’t just assume 2016 – 2017

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that there are no great films from Senegal or New Zealand or the Philippines. Watch a few, and expand your horizons.

Join your university’s film society The film society isn’t the sexiest of organisations fighting for your patronage during freshers’ week.

The film society won’t be throwing the coolest parties or organising adventurous weekends in far flung locations. But for a movie lover, it’s paradise. You see, watching a film isn’t really complete unless you get to debate it with other movie-nuts on loop until you’re all thrown out of the venue or lose the will to live. One of the two.

Take over your university’s film society Of course, your film society may be run by idiots whose idea of inventive programming is a Quentin ▶

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Tarantino double bill or an Alejandro González Iñárritu retrospective. No need to sit idly by and be subjected to Reservoir Dogs for the 15th time – take a leaf out of the Parliamentary Labour Party’s playbook and form a coup. You’re sure to find support from fellow obnoxious cine-geeks with an aversion to the dude canon.

Start your own film club Of course, if your coup fails you can also set up your own film night, either on campus or at a local indie cinema, art space or bar sympathetic to your love of quality film. Not only do you instantly become head programmer, you also have the opportunity to learn innumerable skills, from marketing to social media to dealing with distributors to negotiating film rights to writing programme notes to hosting the event. In other words: all the know-how you might ever need to land a full-time gig as a film programmer.

“ No matter how many movies you watch there will always be new ones to discover” Read all you can about cinema It’s a fallacy to think that everything ever written down is available online. Plenty of great film writing has been digitised, but the majority is still entombed within dusty volumes and yellowed periodicals. Luckily your university has these buildings that are filled with books. Go rummaging through your uni library’s leather-bound copies of Movie; curl up with books on your favourite director or star; discover the art of textual analysis with Victor Perkins’ Film as Film; be introduced to Andrew Sarris’s take on auteur theory in The American Cinema; get riled up with the ecstatic writings of Pauline Kael; read Molly Haskell for an unflinching and unforgiving examination of the female image on screen. Read, read, read.

Write all you can about cinema Often the only way to find out what you really think of a piece of art is to get your ideas down in words.

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Films that you enjoyed while watching may not stand up to scrutiny when you try to articulate their qualities, while a work that leaves you cold on first watch might crystallise in your mind through the act of writing. Start by keeping a diary of everything you watch – and write something about it. It doesn’t need to be an essay. Start small: a few lines, a few words. Get creative: try writing a review in the form of a haiku.

Share your writing This writing can be for your own personal consumption, but there’s a whole world out there who may welcome your thoughts on film. Join Letterboxd (basically Facebook for film-nuts) and share your writings there. Better yet, start a blog.

Once you’ve a healthy collection of reviews and features, use your writing as a way of getting accreditation to film festivals. Build up a readership and you’ll be eligible to attend press screenings of films weeks before they come out. You might even want to send examples of your writing to The Skinny – we’re always on the lookout for sharp new voices.

Be cinema’s saviour “It feels a little like end of days for independent cinema,” wrote Jason Wood, artistic director of film at HOME, Manchester, in Sight & Sound magazine’s 2015 roundup. Wood isn’t the first to air these concerns, and he won’t be the last.

However: you, cinema’s future audience, can be the saviour of indie cinema! Seek out your local purveyor of quality film. Take advantage of the student discount on offer. Become a member.

Be on first name terms with the bar staff and ushers. Drag your friends to Tarkovsky retrospectives and late night cult screenings. Don’t let indie cinema die.

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The Trash Guide to Getting into Theatre Hey, students! Do you want to get into the theatre? Do you want to write, direct, produce, or review plays? Then read on, because The Skinny’s resident theatrical agony aunt, Auntie Trash, AKA Amy Taylor, our theatre editor, has got the 411 Words: Auntie Trash

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o, you’re off to university and you want to get into theatre? Whether you’re studying it or you’re studying something super serious and you just need a distraction, there’s loads of ways to try out all that the stage has to offer, you just need to know where to look, where to go and who to contact.

Don’t Be a Dick First and foremost, don’t be a dick. No one wants to have to deal with a dick in lectures. No one wants to have to do group work with the course’s resident asshole, or socialise with a rude dick. I can’t stress this enough, don’t be a dick. Seriously.

Don’t be that guy that gives backhanded compliments to fellow students, don’t be a basic bitch, don’t spend your time moaning about the successes of other people and saying that you can do better. Maybe you can, maybe you can’t, but right now, you’ve got to shut up, listen and make good work.

The other thing about not being a dick is that people will want to hang around with you – treat people with kindness, and they will treat you the same way. Amazing, right? You’ll make friends, you’ll find out about opportunities, you will network. Be nice. Just be nice. It’s really not that hard for most human beings.

Obviously, I can’t speak for all the dicks out there, because 99% of them don’t even realise that

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they’re walking, talking penai. In all seriousness, people have long memories, and that thing you did that pissed off that person you don’t like could come back to haunt you years later. So please, try to be a considerate human being.

I know that all of the paragraph above sounds rather blasé and obvious, but hear me out, because it’s important to remember that theatre is about communication, and all good theatre is born through collaboration. Don’t make yourself an island.

Build up a good network of friends that can and will support you when you make theatre. Do not do it alone.

Join the drama society When you first get to uni, the number of societies on offer can be overwhelming, but don’t panic – find the drama one. There are probably lots of different things to try – for example, Edinburgh University has The Improverts, their long-running and much-respected improvisation troupe, and there’s even the Bedlam Theatre: a theatre run entirely by students, which is open all year and is also a great Fringe venue.

If there isn’t a drama society or a local theatre company that you can join, don’t let that stop you; make one. Create your own! Give it an awful name, and see who joins. You don’t need to

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Go to the Fringe If you’re in Edinburgh, then in August you will live in the city that hosts the world’s biggest arts festival.

And that’s not just hyperbole, because the EdinActually Go to the Theatre burgh Festival Fringe (not the Edinburgh Fringe If you like theatre, you need to actually go to the Festival) is really the biggest arts festival on the theatre. Yes, you read that right. Get off your arse planet. And with the biggest arts festival on Earth and go see a show. Mind blown. comes lots of lovely theatrical job opportunities.

When I was at uni, we had a lecturer who startWork in a venue, work for the Edinburgh ed every single lecture by asking us how many plays Festival Fringe Society, flyer for famous (or not so we’d been to see that week, and usually, the answer famous) comedians, serve drinks behind the bar, was zero. Why? Because we had other commitsell tickets, do whatever you need to do to get ments, like drinking and reading around four plays into the beating, bulbous heart of the Fringe and a week (reading plays takes a lot of time and isn’t any- stay there. where near as enjoyable as actually watching plays, Alternatively, put on your own show at the but I digress) and also, perhaps the most crucial Fringe; it doesn’t have to cost too much, all you factor in our absence from the theatre was the fact need is the Fringe registration fee and a venue, that theatre tickets were a bit too expensive. which will be free, or very close to free if you choose to perform on the Alternative Fringe; the PBH Free Fringe, The Laughing Horse, Heroes of Fringe, etc. Have a think about it – loads of students go to the Fringe, so why can’t you?

If you want to write and maybe see stuff for free while you’re at it, try your hand at this criticism lark, and see what it’s like to be simultaneously hated and wanted. Check out local publications, like *cough* The Skinny *cough*, check out websites and blogs and see what you can add to the ongoing critical conversation. It’s been going on for years, and we’re always looking for new voices to add to the chaos. have any experience to join a drama society, so go forth and just have some fun.

“ Obviously, I can’t speak for all the dicks out there, because 99% of them don’t even realise that they’re walking, talking penai” OK, theatre tickets are still a bit too expensive, but there are ways to pay less for your theatre tickets. Ask for theatre tokens for Christmas, take your student ID with you whenever you book tickets, because the box office staff will ask you if you are a student and they will ask to see your student ID to prove it. Don’t be offended, just bring out your card, smile, and take home your (slightly cheaper) tickets.

Better still, actually get a job in a theatre: box office, usher, sell overpriced sweets, do anything you can, because you will get heavily discounted tickets, or even get into plays for free! And another thing about working in a theatre is that you will meet people who like the theatre as much as you do.

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And Finally Listen, you really shouldn’t be a dick. I know I’ve said this before, and I know that there are a lot of people who are proper dicks out there, but don’t be one of them. Theatre is a social thing; it’s storytelling, it’s celebration, it’s just fucking magical sometimes. It reflects what we see in society but it also allows us a few precious hours to escape from the hell that is current events.

Nobody wants to go to the theatre with someone they know to be a monumental bellend. No one wants to see work written by/directed by/starring the local theatrical wankstain; seriously, it’s not enjoyable having to sit and grit your teeth and watch someone you loathe because of some stupid run-in during freshers week perform on stage.

Don’t be a dick, make friends, and make some good fucking theatre, because that’s all you really need to do.

Auntie Trash is always looking for new writers and/or people to send anonymous questions for her advice column. You can apply/pour out your heart here: trash@theskinny.co.uk

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Essential Student Apps Arriving in a new city can be confusing. Luckily technology is on your side with everything you need to find your way, make friends and stay safe. We asked our team what apps they swear by for general life and navigating new cities

Travel Find your nearest bus or tram stop and check arrivals with live updating apps from Lothian Buses or First Bus. You can also buy digital tickets for the bus or tram using M tickets and save having to scrabble about for correct change like some kind of luddite.

Contentious freelance taxi service Uber is horrifyingly simple to use (some might say addictively so) and can be very cheap if you catch it at the right time. Sharing a ride? You can split the fare at the touch of a button. Beware the price surge though: they jack up their prices at busy times (like the whole of August in Edinburgh, or a Saturday night everywhere else) and 3.9 times the standard fare can work out to be a whole lot of money.

Navigate your new home using Citymaps. It allows you to download a map of your city so you can find your way offline without using up any of that precious, precious data. It covers cities worldwide, so it’s also an essential tool for travelling.

Speaking of foreign travel, how do you expect to get around if you can’t speak the language?

Learn with Duolingo, which turns language learning into a game. That’s right, learning is fun. You heard it here first. If you can’t be bothered even learning with a super fun game, you can always fall back on Google Translate. Decontextualised translation may be ridden with pitfalls, but it’s all you’ve got.

Finance Your bank almost certainly has an app. You should use it to track your spending a stay safely under your overdraft limit at all times. You probably won’t though.

Discounts We all love a discount, right?

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the app in lieu of a student card. Find local deals with the usual suspects of Groupon, Wowcher et al., and Scotland-specific Itison.

Dating Don’t knock Tinder – as long as you’ve got the stomach for it. Lots of people use it for finding pals, just make sure you specify that in your bio and keep aubergine emojis WAYYY out of the convo.

A slightly more feminist alternative is Bumble, where women have to make the first move. Head to Grindr for the world’s number one gay social network app (™).

Health & Safety Companion allows friends to virtually walk you home. It lets them know when you reach your destination, and also alerts them if you haven’t arrived in the time it thinks it should have taken you using GPS. You can also let them know if you’re feeling unsafe with just a tap of a button.

Drunk Mode offers a variety of services, seeing itself as both a party facilitator and preventor. You can log the phone numbers you should not in any circumstances be dialling and it’ll stop you from contacting them for 12 hours. It also offers a Find My Drunk service to help locate your inebriated pal, a breadcrumbs function to help you work out what the hell you did last night, and a heatmap to show you where the nearest party’s happening.

Need to get up early and it’s already 3am?

Sleep Cycle tracks your movements to work out when you’re in the lightest stage of sleep, waking you up at the time you’ll feel least groggy. It also has nice waterfall sound effects to play when you’re worried you’ve drunk away your first year and are gonna fail your exams.

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Holidazed and Confused The long summer holidays of university offer an opportunity for travel that will go unmatched until your retirement. How do you make the most of the time on your limited resources?

We asked The Skinny team for advice. Some of it was useful.

Words: Faye Cation

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veryone says students are super hard-up, but with the combination of loans and part-time work and no tax and student discounts, you may find you’re equally badly off when you’re in fulltime entrylevel employment post-graduation.

So make the most of that scant resource, time, and get yourself adventuring.

How do you choose where you’re going to go when the world is at your fingertips? You could start by letting the transport cost dictate your choice and take it from there. Our production manager recalls, “I once booked a Megabus sleeper to Paris for £3 return, it was horrendous but Paris was alright.” It’s often been said that Paris is alright. If you’d like to see for yourself, head to the Megabus website. When you’re there you can follow in the footsteps of backpackers across the ages and stay in the Shakespeare & Company bookshop. They let people stay in exchange for a bit of working in the shop and a lot of talking about literature. Other accommodation can be a bit pricey, even for fleapit dorm beds.

Continental Megabus also offers choices beyond Paris. Destinations include Lille, Rotterdam, Cologne, Brussels and Barcelona. You can get the cheap rates because you’re a student and can travel when everyone else can’t. Take advantage of it.

Another good source of cheap transport is Skyscanner’s ‘Everywhere’ feature, which lets you find the cheapest flights from any location for any given dates. It takes the pressure out of picking somewhere, introduces you to places you might not otherwise consider and makes it dead cheap into the bargain. Be flexible – look at flights into one city and out of another nearby one; our Food editor went to Bremen and Hamburg a couple of years ago, largely because it was £50 cheaper to do both than just fly in and out of one or the other.

Interrailing has long been a rite of passage, and with the looming Brexit threatening the re-

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introduction of visas maybe a means of travel that allows you to take full advantage of the Schengen zone is the way forward? Students get a discounted rate and you choose your zones and your timeframe. It’s a good idea to limit your zones – you might think you can travel from Amsterdam to Istanbul overland in three weeks but realistically that’s going to mean skipping over a lot of amazing things in between.

“ I once booked a Megabus sleeper to Paris for £3 return, it was horrendous but Paris was alright” Sarah Donley

The beauty of the rail and ferry travel you access on your interrail pass is the opportunity to explore a country slowly, to go to places you haven’t heard of and appreciate life away from the tick-’em-off tourist trail. Another reason to take advantage of the interrail pass now is that under 25s get in free or cheap to many of Europe’s finest galleries and museums. You’ll be kicking yourself if you try to get into the Prado at age 26 and realise you could have saved yourself $$$.

From a practical point of view, in this time of madly fluctuating exchange rates it may be a good idea to get a currency card, like the Caxton FX card or the Travelex Supercard. Put pounds on it from your UK bank account, then use it like a regular debit card when you’re away. “You get a better deal on exchange rates, you don’t get stung by the

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Credit: Roman Boed

bank for £2 plus 2% every time you want to use a cash machine, and you don’t have to carry wads of cash around with you like a luddite or drug dealer,” says our digital editor. “I used mine all over the world with no problems, you update the balance via the app, your transactions all show up right away; it’s boss.”

Hang on a minute, we’ve been talking about cheap travel and we haven’t even mentioned hitchhiking? “I did some hitchhiking when I was still a student, which cost me zero pounds! We went during Easter break, took a tent and some oat cakes and persuaded truckers to drive us to southern Spain,” says our Scotland music editor. “It was lovely. We met delightful people who made us sandwiches and let me ride their horse!

The only oversight we made was accidentally camping in the Pyrenees one night, and waking up to find our tent frozen solid…”

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Another Skinny staffer fondly remembers a different trip across Europe. “I hitchhiked to Morocco and raised money for a charity doing it and so the travel was free... except when we accidentally invaded a pimp’s turf in suburban Barcelona and made his lovely prostitutes very angry and we had to get out of there very quickly.”

Tread carefully while hitching, folks. There is a bright side though: “Also most of the people we hitched with brought us food and drinks and gave us drugs and booze.” The take-homes are: avoid the pimps, take the free booze, know your altitude.

Maybe you want to do more with your summer, to go back to nature and work as a volunteer doing something you’re unlikely to be able to do again? Our general manager has the batshit answer. “I volunteered with the Scottish Wildlife Trust on the Isle of Eigg in the Western Hebrides for a month one summer, that’s

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a pretty sweet way to enjoy some of the most beautiful scenery in Scotland and have BBQs on the beach every night for free. Basic caveats, you’ve gotta spend at least four hours each day wandering the shores counting eggs in nests, throwing a scythe at some unruly bracken or, if you’re really unlucky, doing the sunset bat counts. Sounds fun but if you’ve ever been to the Western Hebrides in summer you’ll know the midges are absolute murder. You have to wear a full midge (beekeeper) suit, which at least ten of the buggers will somehow get in, not be able to find a way out again and eat you alive anyway.”

Maybe you’d like to travel on the cheap while hanging out with your mates and pursuing your dreams? “Virtually all my travel over the last decade has come through touring in DIY bands,” says our music editor of the North. “It can be a pretty cool and relatively cheap way to see the world (and virtually guarantees you’ll meet locals / end up somewhere with beer at the end of every night).

Admittedly it does make for whistlestop tours of most places, so it’s worth picking sights you wanna see in advance.

“Our petrol/van hire were covered by the money we earned each night (budget sensibly to break even), and we were fed at most venues AND sorted with somewhere to crash. So our money only went on one or two meals a day, booze and other bands’ records, basically.” Living the dream.

Finally, as the 19th-century French writer Xavier de Maistre discovered in his seminal work Journey Around my Room, sometimes travel is about the journey, not the destination. Perhaps your best option is to fully explore your locale rather than running off on some foreign jaunt you can’t possibly afford? “When I was young I hitchhiked from somewhere in Edinburgh to Easterhouse. I forget why.

I was drunk,” says an unnamed staff member.

We do not recommend drunken hitchhiking from Edinburgh to Easterhouse, but every experience makes for a story and now’s the time to start accumulating them.

Credit: Klim Levene

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A Freshers’ Guide to One Night Stands Deviance picks the brains of sex blogger Cheryl Kaye (HornyGeekGirl), The Vagenda co-founder / editor Holly Baxter and our own faithful contributors to bring you a (sorta) comprehensive guide to no-strings boning. YOU ARE WELCOME. Interview: Kate Pasola Illustration: Veronica Grech

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ithout relegating your freshers’ experience to a montage off The Inbetweeners, it’s very likely that for many people, a move out of the family home and into the condom-littered world of halls means but one thing: a foray into the world of one night stands. And because we live in the most ridiculously prudish and conservative island under the sun, it seems nobody has a fucking clue how to have a one-offer safely, successfully and somewhat sexily. Let’s talk about this.

Costume parties: both friend and foe Yes, roughly 87% of freshers’ nights out are themed and sure, costumes are ice-breakers. But it’s worth factoring in whether your outfit’s going to be a bearable state-of-affairs the next morning as you saunter home. Slut-shaming can GTFO, but take it from someone who was once forced to walk through the most open plan and highly populated part of uni dressed as ‘Buzzfeed’ the day after Hallowe’en (complete with handmade ‘FAIL!’ signs) – just think about it.

“ It’s your body and you can pull down the shutters whenever you damn please”

Boning beats Pick the shag-tracks wisely. Do not leave this to fate with an untested Spotify playlist; you’ll only find yourself getting down to some obscure Justin Timberlake throwback. Nobody wants that. Not even Justin Timberlake. We asked HornyGeekGirl (Sex Blogger and protegé of Girl On The Net) for recommendations, and she’s of the opinion that rock and metal is a winner; “the louder stuff can be good for drowning out sex sounds if you’re worried about being overheard by people. Jazz can be really good for changing up rhythms during oral sex.”

Establish a code A simple mutual move between you and your crowd. Flash them a sly thumbs up / air punch / robocop to let them know you’re keen on the person you’re with. Then, wait. If they’re good mates, they’ll let you know if you’re gonna regret it / look slightly too tequila-soaked to go home with someone and drag you away to dance to M.I.A. Paper Planes. Again.

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Consent Down to your kegs but not sure whether your co-pilot’s into it? Check out their body language.

Are they reciprocating the intimacy? Do they seem content? Have they confirmed they’d like to have sex with you? Are they sober enough to make decisions for themselves? Wicked. Are they wasted, chanting Flo Rida at you while losing conscious-

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ness, or letting you know they’d like you to stop?

Make sure they’re safe, happy and let them sleep, pal. Maybe even make them a cuppa.

“ Jazz can be really good for changing up rhythms during oral sex” Cheryl Kaye

Equally, down to your kegs and realised you’re not into it? That’s totally cool. Your clothes are right there, just pop ‘em back on, give a hearty salute and head home to sleep off your hangover.

It’s your body and you can pull down the shutters whenever you damn please.

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Shake off the slutshamers It’s over to Holly Baxter for this one: “Gossip can be vicious, there’s no doubt about that, and I think it has to be a real effort of personality to overcome it and be unashamedly who you are. I think one of the most powerful things I was ever told was that if someone asks you a question you know they want to know for gossipy reasons, just smile and ask, ‘Why do you want to know?’ That immediately puts them on the back foot and exposes them for the gossip-monger they are... Above all, remember university isn’t forever – and halls are for even less time. Branch out into extracurricular activities if you need a break from a claustrophobic environment – and always remember that you can lock the door, turn off your phone and lie in bed with a Pot Noodle and Friends reruns on your laptop if it all gets too much. I used to do this at least once a month.” Hear, hear. theskinny.co.uk/sexuality

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Venue Guide

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Illustration by Veronica Grech

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Culture

1 | The Liquid Room

3 | The Mash House

9C Victoria St | @liquidrooms

37 Guthrie St | @TheMashHouse

Every cloud has a silver lining. Even your club burning down. Liquid Rooms recovered like a champ and lives on to dazzle and deafen its punters with a bespoke lighting and sound system – and some impressive DJ appearances too.

A multi-floored marvel between Chambers St and Cowgate, the Mash House hosts a wide range of club nights and live music. Shows from Bossy Love, Optimo and Catholic Action are among the highlights of their Autumn schedule so far.

2 | The Bongo Club

4 | Sneaky Pete’s

66 Cowgate | @bongoclub

73 Cowgate | @sneakypetesclub

This one’s so popular that basically the entire student population rallied on its behalf when it faced closure. Probably something to do with its gloriously diverse selection of clubs, its wicked resident DJs, and finally, the student kryptonite: I Love Hip-Hop on Tuesdays.

Sneaky’s reputation as a tiny wee club now precedes it entirely – but don’t let that put you off.

Size isn’t everything, it’s what you do with it. And if you’re cranking out 150 decibels of sweet, melodious funk into the ears of sweaty happy people, then size actually means nothing at all.

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5 | Union of Genius

12 | Civerinos

8 Forrest Rd | @UnionofGenius

5 Hunter Square | @civerinos_slice

Six different soups on offer every day, pulling out the stops to suit vegans, veggies and gluten-free eaters.

Seasonal, locally sourced, and blummin’ delicious.

The location’s great, the vibe is great, and the sourdough pizza at Civerinos is great. Head down on Monday and Tuesday and ask them about their ‘pizza and beer for a tenner’ deal; you’ll never guess what’ll happen next. Well, you might, you’re a smart lot.

6 | Ting Thai Caravan 8-9 Teviot Pl | 0131 225 9801

Cheap, sumptuous Thai food, smiley service with lovely haircuts, an oddly endearing communal dining style, and utilitarian cardboard food boxes.

Ting Thai is great, but small, so be ready to queue.

It’s worth waiting for, trust us.

7 | Boteco do Brasil 47 Lothian St | @botecodobrasil

13 | Bedlam Theatre 11 Bristo Pl | @bedlamtheatre

Home to Edinburgh University Theatre Company, with its iconic red door and newly spruced interior, Bedlam is exciting for punter or performers. If you want a belter of a Friday night, grab a ludicrously cheap pint and laugh your spleen out at homegrown improv troupe The Improverts.

A nice wee Brazilian bar upstairs, a hurricane of 14 | Brass Monkey Shakira and tequila downstairs, Boteco’s your saviour when you’re thoroughly done with being forced 14 Drummond St | 0131 556 1961 to dance to Disclosure. Reclaim your night out and This one used to be a local secret, but we’re just so proud of it that everyone’s now in on it. A pertake it to Brazil. And by Brazil, we mean Boteco. fect location between Pleasance and the Bridges, 8 | Paradise Palms with pub quizzes and cheap bevvies, what more 41 Lothian St | @edinburghpalms could you possibly require?

Charismatic staff, cheap cocktails for students, vegan soul food for dinner and live entertainment, 15 | Jazz Bar 1A Chambers St | @TheJazzBar all in a comfy and exciting bar that feels a bit like the result of an explosion in a party supplies shop. Alright, alright, let us include one spot where you’ll need more than shrapnel to pay for a beer. Shh, 9 | Palmyra Pizza listen. For a couple of quid, you can hang out in this 22 Nicolson St | 0131 667 6655 sexy little cave and listen to some of the best jazz, Superfoods and quinoa come and go, but falafel funk and soul around until the Reekie sun rises. wraps are here to stay. Flash your student card 16 | Bar 50 and a bounty of reasonably priced, delicious Middle Eastern food (or, alternatively, pizza) will 50 Blackfriars St | @Bar50Edin Bar 50 is Smart City Hostels’ in-house watering fall into your hands. And they’re open till god hole, so if you’re back from your gap year and missknows when... ing that laid back, everyone’s-a-potential-pal vibe 10 | Shrub Swap and Reuse Hub typical of travel hostels, give this one a go.

13 Guthrie St | @shrubcoop

A wee hub promoting all things warm and fuzzy and good for the environment/your purse-strings. Take along your old belongings and directly swap for new things, or collect tokens to save up for a treat.

11 | City Cafe 19 Blair St | @TheCityCafe

Hungover but worried you’ll feel like a failure if your dickhead flatmate snapchats you in Snax for the third brunch running? Enter City Cafe, a cracking American diner by day and drinks spot at night. Oh, and they’re generous when refilling your cup of coffee. Or ‘Joe’, if you will.

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22 | The Caves 8-10 Niddry Street South | @cavesedinburgh

You get a bit desensitised to stuff happening in caves when you’ve lived in the ‘Burgh long enough, but c’mon! Clubs in a cave! It’s also a magical place to hold a ball, so bear that in mind when you’re social sec for the ultimate frisbee society or whatever.

23 | Word Power Books 43-45 West Nicolson St | @WordPowerBooks Cabaret Voltaire

17 | La Belle Angèle 11 Hastie’s Close | @la_belle_angèle

So, you’ve had your mind wrenched open by that guy on your floor who keeps talking at you about ‘the man’, where to now? Word Power books, of course. It stocks a huge range of political, arts and cultural literature.

The new and improved Belle Angele plays host to top-notch club nights and live music. Expect to catch big-name DJs alongside a set of great regular nights, with Len Faki, Mr Scruff, Hot Chip and the LuckyMe crew among those to hit the decks in recent months.

24 | The Mosque Kitchen

18 | The Piemaker

25 | Tribal

38 South Bridge | 0131 558 1728

248 Canongate | 0131 558 9019

At some point this semester you’ll find yourself weeping as you lug 14 new social anthropology textbooks home from Blackwell’s. You’ll be ravenous.

The Piemaker will make you feel like the world is okay again, through the power of fat and pastry.

When the self-mutilation urge hits, go to Tribal. It’s cheap for students, clean, professional, and they’re lovely enough not to laugh at you if you chicken out.

Not that we’d know anything about that...

19 | Ox184 A mile-long bar stocked with a legion of beers, ciders and spirits. The nightly DJing and live music. The dealbreaker? Ox184 has its own woodfired grill and serves a handsome BBQ menu until 2.30am. Sold – to the hungry fresher at the back.

20 | The Hive

26 | Fruitmarket Gallery If sculpture’s your thang, Fruitmarket Gallery will see you right. Along with two floors of exhibition space, they’ve got an incredible selection of art and photography books and magazines, a quirky wee gift shop and a damn good cafe.

27 | The Electric Circus 36-39 Market St | @circusedinburgh

15-17 Niddry St | @clubhive

Appalling in all the right ways, the Hive is one of the best dive clubs in town. The music is mainstream, the drinks really, truly flow (even onto your shoes!) and you’ll see more UV painted nipples than you can shake a Jägerbomb at.

21 | Cabaret Voltaire

Karaoke rooms and photo booths, award winning cocktails and diverse club nights, EC also manages to tempt some artists into straying from the Glasgow gig-strip, bringing in some corkers for intimate live gigs.

28 | Mary’s Milk Bar 19 Grassmarket | @marysmilkbar

36-38 Blair St | @cabaretvoltaire

Nestled beneath the anxiously touristic Royal Mile lies a staple of alternative music culture. Drinks are a bit pricier but for your dollar you’ll get a classy dram, with regular guest DJs bringing the noise in the subterranean main room.

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An all-round winner, the Mosque Kitchen serves up delicious curry all day long with huge plates of spicy goodness starting at just a few quid. A student rite of passage; you should go. Now.

45 Market St | @Fruitmarket

184-186 Cowgate | @Ox184

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31 Nicolson Square | 0131 667 4035

Y’know when you’re in the mood for ice cream but Phish Food just won’t do? That sort of mood where the only thing that’ll scratch the itch is Italian gelato created by someone who trained in Bologna at the prestigious Carpigiani Gelato University? We feel you. Get yourself to Mary’s.

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29 | Filmhouse

32 | Traverse

88 Lothian Rd | @filmhouse

10 Cambridge St | @traversetheatre

Indie cinema Filmhouse skims the cream of everything from arthouse to blockbuster (and the weird stuff between). Grab a pint and a comically cheap student ticket, and watch the kind of film that will make people think you’re all intellectual and that.

A theatre affectionately known by its many supporters as the Trav, this one’s a mainstay on our list of recommendations. It’s regarded as one of the best Scottish platforms for new writing, so you’d be foolish not to pop over and take advantage of their student concession prices.

30 | Henry’s Cellar Bar 16 Morrison St | @henryscellarBar

33 | Lovecrumbs

One of the city’s few low-cost hire venues, Henry’s attracts a diverse bunch of musicians that you wouldn’t see in conventional haunts. It’s got that awesome community vibe where you can talk to strangers without feeling creepy/getting your head kicked in. And it’s below Lebowski’s – perfect for post-gig White Russians with your new pals.

155 West Port | @hellolovecrumbs

31 | Bread Meats Bread

34 | Wee Red Bar

92 Lothian Rd | @BreadMeats_EDI

Lauriston Pl | 0131 651 5859

If you’re skint but still feel compelled to go out for dinner, hit up Bread Meats Bread. Not only are the prices totally reasonable, the burgers and sides are big enough and tasty enough to get you through the rest of the day, and well into the next.

The ECA bar churns out great gig after great gig.

It also hosts the brilliant Hey QT, an LGBTQI night with a safe space policy ‘because boogie-ing is for non-jerks only.’

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Lovecrumbs is the Instagram filter Valencia embodied in cafe form. It’s a cake-filled fairyland where ‘gluten free’ is double Dutch. There’s even literally a window seat where you can lounge and smugly munch away for the viewing pleasure of the Edinburghian public.

VENUES

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35 | Pomegranate New Town

37 | Bodega

1 Antigua St | 0131 556 8337

62 Elm Row | @ILoveBodega

One for the New Town-ers, Pomegranate serves up the tastiest mezze dishes drawn from Lebanese, Moroccan, Iranian and Saudi Arabian cuisine. It’s also BYOB, with no corkage charge.

A tiny BYOB spot on Elm Row, Bodega’s tacos are amazing. Get a big enough crew together (i.e a couple of flats’ worth of folk) and you can book out the whole place for an evening of delicious Mexican street food.

36 | Twelve Triangles 90 Brunswick St | @TwelveTriangles

Doughnuts, motherfucker! Sorry, got a bit carried away there, but the point stands: 12T’s doughnuts are incredible. The flavours are ever-changing, but the quality is a constant. Grab some great bread and pastries while you’re there – you’ve almost certainly earned it.

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38 | Joseph Pearce’s 23 Elm Row | @JosephPearces

A relaxed and cosy Swedish café that’s the perfect stopping point for Leithers on their journeys to and from ‘town’. By night JP’s is a bohemian bar with a cool crowd powered by aquavit-based cocktails and Swedish cider.

VENUES

THE SKINNY 25/08/2016 16:03

39 | The Stand Comedy Club

43 | Stockbridge Market

5 York Pl | @standcomedyclub

1 Saunders St | @StockbridgeMark

The Stand Comedy Club is a good one if your ribs are needing tickled. Now, when we say this place is intimate, we really mean it. Turn up early to grab a safe seat, unless you’re okay with becoming front row joke-fodder.

A slice of upper-middle-class Edinburgh life, every Sunday the Stockbridge Market features a mix of street food, artisan products and other bits and pieces. We’d recommend a coffee from the Steampunk van, dumplings from Harajuku Kitchen, and looking out for incredibly posh puppies.

44 | Inverleith House Inverleith Row | @InverleithHouse

The Stand Comedy Club

In the Botanic Gardens, you’ll find one of the city’s best contemporary art galleries, with a host of exciting exhibitions all year round. Have a wander through the greenery, look at some art, and take a break from the mild frenzy of student life.

40 | Century General Store 1 Montrose Tce | facebook.com/centurygeneralstore

On Abbeyhill, between Easter Road and Holyrood, Century General Store is part cafe and part lovely homeware shop. If you’re in need of something to really make your Pollock room pop, or just want a mug that’s special enough that no-one will dare nick it, this is the place.

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41 | Out Of The Blue Drill Hall 36 Dalmeny St | @ootbdrillhall

Clubs

Comedy

Books

Culture

Yep, we’re talking about an actual Drill Hall here.

Funnily enough, it’s pretty well suited to its new purpose – a bustling hub of artistic creativity, with exhibitions, film screenings, workshops, flea markets and vintage fairs.

Art

Joseph Pearce’s

Music

42 | Vox Box 21 St Stephen St | @voxboxmusic

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One of Edinburgh’s best indie record stores, Vox Box offers a deceptively large stock of new and used records from bands from all over. They really step their game up every Record Store Day, teaming up with their Stockbridge neighbours for a series of free gigs and events.

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45 | Cameo 38 Home St | @cameocinema

Art deco, dusty and intimate, the historic Cameo makes going to the cinema feel like a real treat again. They screen everything from the mainstream to the obscure, and even host sleepover film nights and live events.

46 | New Amphion, Teviot House Teviot Row House | @EUSA

Part of Edinburgh University’s Teviot building, this gem is chronically overshadowed by its overrated internal neighbor, Library Bar. The nautical themed, open plan New Amphion is way better. Comfy sofas, plugs for your laptop and cheap nachos.

Cameo Cinema

47 | Andrew Usher & Co (Formerly Usher’s) 32B West Nicolson St | @AndyUsherAndCo

This super duper pub is cool with letting you sample those of their craft beers which pique your interest, so never again will there be reason to freak out and order a “smokey” number which tastes like bacon. Unless you like that one, of course (weirdo).

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48 | Kilimanjaro Coffee 104 Nicolson St | 0131 662 0135

The most heavenly mochas in town, with the natural light which floods through the glass-fronted shop makes a nice change from your rickets-inducing halls kitchen.

VENUES

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49 | Rotato

54 | 10 to 10 in Delhi

30 Buccleuch St | 0131 667 6205

67 Nicolson St | 07536 757770

These aren’t any ordinary baked potatoes.

They’re not even Marks and Spencer’s baked potatoes. They’re bloody brilliant, spit-roasted Rotato potatoes, slathered in almost any topping your academically enlightened brain desires.

Even cheesy beans.

A great spot for a curry between classes or a post-lecture pitstop, with the food and drink served up in an incongruous yet amazing rainbow-coloured, floor-cushioned den.

55 | Victor Hugo 26/27 Melville Terrace | @VictorHugoDeli

50 | Filament Coffee 38 Clerk Street | @FilamentCoffee

Filament’s a brilliant modern coffee bar halfway between Summerhall and the Pleasance, just off the Meadows but not far from Pollock either.

Grab a flat white, get your bearings, and get your day moving.

An absolute cornucopia of hangover-slaying dishes will leave you stuck deciding what you want for about fifteen minutes. If you’re grabbing lunch on the way across the Meadows, nip in for one of their pastrami sandwiches; it has about half a cow on it.

56 | Illegal Jack’s 44-45 St Patrick Sq | @illegaljacks

After a handsome Kickstarter campaign, the chilli con champions’ new outpost a few minutes from George Square sees Jack’s return with the same great burritos that made them a hit back in their former Lothian Road home.

57 | Summerhall 1 Summerhall Pl | @summerhallery Victor Hugo

51 | The Greenmantle 44 West Crosscauseway | @Greenmantlepub

Homesick for the hometown local? Not to worry – adopt The Greenmantle as your surrogate comfy-pub. It’s the kind of place where there’s prawn cocktail crisps nailed above the bar, Guinness a-plenty and build-your-own-burgers on til midnight. You’ll feel right at home in no time.

A hub for the arts, it’s the place to be if you’re a creative type. You’ll find club nights, art exhibitions, theatre, beer festivals, an onsite brewery and gin distillery, a bar with courtyard for a little European plaza chic, and even members of Skinny staff skulking about the place after a long day in the office.

52 | Snax 118 Buccleuch St & 15 W Register St | @SnaxEdinburgh

Fry-ups! Snax is more than just a deliriously cheap greasy spoon, and not just because it does paninis and baked potatoes too. It’s a statement.

It’s the reclaiming of hash browns and potato scones; a triumphant celebration of down to earth British breakfasting.

53 | Cult Espresso 104 Buccleuch St | @CultCoffeeEdin

Interested in speciality coffee but don’t want to have to pretend you understand what a pourover is? That’s okay – the charming fellows at Cult’ll whip you up something, sans smugness.

Top lads.

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Summerhall

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1 | Nice ’n’ Sleazy

3 | Bistro

421 Sauchiehall St | @nice_n_sleazy

404 Sauchiehall St | 0141 237 4347

Sleazy’s remains home to some of the city’s most intelligent, open-minded gig bookers, who regularly hand the stage over to acts that others would barely consider music. Upstairs, it’s a lair of super-cheap White Russians and eavesdropping on notable Glasgow musicians.

This one’s for when you clamber out of your chosen Sauchiehall Street bar and become a carb-craving drunken hulk. No tablecloths, candlesticks or set menus in sight – Bistro is no more and no less than your ideal stop-off for chips and pakora.

2 | Broadcast

20 Scott St | @artschool_

427 Sauchiehall St | 0141 332 7304

Juggling both established acts and underground local talent like only a Glasgow music venue could, Broadcast usually has a pretty eclectic line-up.

Shows take place downstairs, and the charm of Broadcast’s upper floor lies in its tasty stonebaked pizza.

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4 | The Art School A certified staple on Glasgow’s student clubbing scene, the Art School Union is not your run-of-themill union. After extensive refurbishment, it has re-established itself as a cultural and clubbing powerhouse in the heart of Glasgow, regularly serving up nights of dynamic, ambitious and creative student hedonism.

VENUES

THE SKINNY 25/08/2016 16:05

5 | CCA 350 Sauchiehall St | @cca_glasgow

A multi-functioning arts venue which puts on quite the magnificent spread of contemporary film, music, performance and the odd painting too. It hosts six exhibitions every year, and houses the Aye Aye bookshop, studio and gallery space for artists and offices for a host of ‘cultural tenants’.

6 | O2 ABC 300 Sauchiehall St | @02ABC

Originally home to Scotland’s first cinema, the ABC has become one of Scotland’s toppest notch gig venues. Well, two of Scotland’s toppest notch gig venues, actually. There’s the delightful Art Deco main hall, and a smaller ABC2 which comes complete with an intimate, clubby vibe.

7 | The Project Café

CCA

11 | Flat 0/1 162 Bath St | @flat01_glasgow

134 Renfrew Street | @theproject_cafe

The Project Café serves up a feast of tasty, conscience-friendly food with a side order of creative invigoration. There’s always something going on, be it an exhibition, a gig or a workshop. Sweet escapism for anyone who needs to feed their face with cake and their soul with humanity.

8 | Glasgow Film Theatre

The thinking behind Flat 0/1 is that everyone knows ‘that flat’. The party flat. A place where the decks are out, the booze is deluging and everybody in the room is gyrating until the small hours.

Imagine that flat, but run by real staff instead of your idiot friends. Good stuff.

12 | Bloc+ 117 Bath St | @blocglasgow

With a fair bit more charm than your average cinema, GFT’s famed for its Art Deco design and old-timey ambience. Part of Glasgow’s cultural scene since 1939, it acts as the hub of the annual Glasgow Film Festival.

Bloc+ hosts gigs from unsigned and established acts most nights of the week, from low-key acoustic offerings, to skull-crushing heavy metal. Away from the music, the bar’s resident ‘Mad Chef’ fires out great twists on classic bar grub, with veggies and vegans well-catered to alongside meat fiends.

9 | Gallery Unit

13 | The Buff Club

140 Sauchiehall St | @GalleryUnit

142 Bath Ln | @thebuffclub

Gallery Unit (also known as G Unit and Gallery UNIT, amongst others) is a non-profit art space located on the first floor of the The Savoy Centre.

Founded by a group of students who met during their studies at GSA, it’s an up-and-coming hub of talent and clever curation.

Head to The Buff Club if you want to throw some absolutely formidable shapes. Classic hip-hop, funk, R&B and soul all come a-pumping from the speakers, along with some more niche treats from guest DJs. Go with it, it’s all good.

12 Rose St | @glasgowfilm

10 | The Butterfly and The Pig

182 W Regent St | 0141 226 3406

151 Bath St | @ButterflyAndPig

Almost like visiting your granny’s: think mismatched, cloud-like couches and huge portions of homemade food. Pop round for a tasty lunch with a slice of indulgence for afters, or go the whole hog and hit the champagne-drenched afternoon tea. Whole hog, see? Hog. Oh forget it.

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14 | Where The Monkey Sleeps There’s too much to say about this beauty within a restricted word count, so let us throw some key terms at you for a bit instead. Sandwich shop. Rock-themed. ‘The Meathammer.’ Sofas.

Art. Smoothies. Milkshakes. ROCK. THEMED. SANDWICHES.

VENUES

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15 | Meat Bar

20 | Paesano Pizza

142 W Regent St | @meatbarglasgow

94 Miller St | @paesano_pizza

Why have a normal meatball when you can have a smoked rabbit and bacon meatball? The clue’s in the title with this one; when you want meat, go to Meat Bar.

Neapolitan pizza is the name of the game at Paesano, just minutes from Queen Street station.

The dough gets 24 hours to prove, the ingredients are top-notch, and the bill for a pizza and beer will leave you with change from a tenner.

21 | Cass Art 63-67 Queen St | @cassart

Whether you’re a devoted artist, a hardworking art student or if you’re just trying out a new hobby, these guys have got everything you could possibly need. The impossibly neat shelves are stocked with a huge range of art tools and supplies — there’s a student discount too, naturally.

22 | La Cheetah 73 Queen St | @LaCheetahClub King Tut’s Wah Wah Hut

16 | King Tut’s Wah Wah Hut 272A St Vincent St | @kingtuts

Another niche-defying institution, King Tut’s has its finger in lots of pies. A cosy basement bar with comfort food and pool tables, upstairs you’ll find one of the best intimate gig venues in the country.

17 | Social Bite 103 St Vincent St | @socialbite_

Sick of gnawing on a sub while guilt gnaws at your conscience? Well then, get yourself to Social Bite, the sandwich shop trying to make a difference.

25% of its employees are formerly homeless people, and all of its profits go to good causes.

18 | Chinaski’s 239 North St | 0141 221 0061

Getting your teeth stuck into Charles Bukowski is all part of becoming a student cliché, so you might as well visit Chinaski’s. Named after Bukowski’s alter-ego, it’s good fun with delightful food and great booze.

19 | Stereo

22-28 Renfield Ln | @stereoglasgow

Another of Glasgow’s masters of all trades, Stereo’s a vegan café, bar and music venue. You can also expect some of the bigger promoters, DIY outfits and curious independents all to appear.

Often the host of gig after-parties, which some of Glasgow’s finest DJs have been known to crash.

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Not only the club with the sassiest moniker in Glasgae, La Cheetah’s also known for its diverse range of banging nights, berry-picked from the vast brambles of the musical spectrum.

24 | Sub Club 22 Jamaica St | @subclub

The freshly-refurbished Subbie pushes the musical envelope week in, week out, canonising its resident DJs and providing a space for local upand-comers and big name guests alike – a natural haunt for the very finest talents.

24 | Ox and Finch 920 Sauchiehall St | @OxAndFinch

This one’s a wee bit pricier (maybe one to bear in mind for when the folks are visiting), but it’s all tapas-style dishes, so the amount you fork out directly corresponds to the amount you fork in (to your mouth).

25 | Drygate 85 Drygate | @drygate

Ever cracked open a little hoppy number, and wondered if you’ve got it in you to brew a beer of your own? Well, brewery/pub/beer garden Drygate’s got you covered. Try your hand in the studio, or even just sample one they made earlier.

VENUES

THE SKINNY 25/08/2016 16:05

26 | Transmission

29 | Mono

28 King Street | @transmo_gallery

12 Kings Court | @monoglasgow

This gallery’s been on the go for ages. Established by a group of GSA graduates in 1983, it seeks to encourage interaction between its members to create an inspirational atmosphere. You’ll also catch annual exhibitions of members’ work, and a bunch of film screenings too.

A vegan fortress which wears its meatlessness firmly on its sleeve. Where other vegan menus suffer from a heartbreakingly dull reliance on avocados and the ‘smashed,’ Mono triumphs. It also microbrews its own ginger beer and lemonade, and even features its own fiercely independent record store with a particular devotion to vinyl.

27 | Tron Theatre 63 Trongate | @trontheatre

The Tron Theatre stands out in its city centre location, and the theatre it hosts stands out too.

Up until 2014 it played host to Glasgay! festival, and continues to host Celtic Connections and the Merchant City Festival. The 16th Century building also boasts a rather swanky theatre bar, too.

30 | Good Press

5 St. Margaret’s Place | @good_press

Run by a group of artists, designers, publishers and facilitators, Good Press is a gallery and bookshop combined, making original works of art available to everyone. Have a rifle among their totes, prints and cassette mixtapes and get a foothold into the Glasgow art scene.

28 | 13th Note

31 | The Barrowlands

60 King St | @official13thnot

244 Gallowgate | @TheBarrowlands

Thanks to astonishingly cheap overheads, the 13th Note has spent its life allowing all manner of mentalists to have their wicked musical way in the crumbly cellar. For this very reason, it’s established a reputation as an uncompromising believer in, and supporter of, live music in G-town.

A total institution. Most people – Glasgow resident or otherwise – have probably been to a gig in this Gallowgate musical wonderland. There’s a ridiculous starry façade and a sprung floor which allows Barras crowds to jump higher and go crazier than anyone else.

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32 | Kinning Park Complex 43 Cornwall St | @KinningParkComp

A bustling community space run by a voluntary committee of artists, musicians and activists, this three storey sandstone building in the south side has no end of potential. If you have an idea you want to bring to fruition, KPC would be a good place to start.

33 | House for an Art Lover 16 Drumbreck Rd | @HouseArtLover

Designed by Charles Rennie Mackintosh (yes, that one) in 1901, the Bellahouston Park site houses an art gallery, space for exhibitions and events, a cafe and multi-purpose studios.

34 | O2 Academy 121 Eglinton St | @O2academyggow

The Academy knits together the notions of intimate gig and enormo-tour, making it the kind of venue which makes Glasgow’s music scene.

Formerly an Art Deco cinema (for a change), the mega capacity allows for established acts from near and far. Pleasingly, they don’t stick to the same ol’ genres either.

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Tramway

THE SKINNY 25/08/2016 16:05

35 | Bakery47

38 | Rum Shack

76 Victoria Rd | @bakery47

657-659 Pollokshaws Rd | 0141 237 4432

Truly Instagram-worthy cakes and pastries await at one of the city’s best bakeries. A grassroots success with a real community spirit, Bakery47 are big on collaboration, with regular events ranging from crafting workshops to pop-up coffee stalls.

Bringing a Caribbean flavour to Strathbungo, The Rum Shack is more of a cornucopia, stocking over 30 rums, from Angostura to Rhum Agricole. Food is served from ‘The Caribbean Kitchen’, meaning you can look forward to flavours of such. And there’s a steady stream of reggae on the sound system, obvs.

36 | Govanhill Baths 99 Calder St | @GovanhillBaths

A three-phase project is currently underway to restore the baths to their original glory, the ultimate intention being to re-fill and re-open the swimming pool. Until then, the whole of Glasgow benefits from this unique performance space and its ad-hoc programme of events.

37 | Tramway 25 Albert Dr | @glasgowtramway

Few spots are rooted more deeply in Glaswegian history than Tramway. Over the years it’s spent its days as a tram depot and a transport museum, before its reincarnation as a performance and exhibition space. Tramway 1’s forte is performance-based events, and Tramway 2 is the primary gallery space.

39 | Tapa Coffee 721 Pollokshaws Rd | @tapaorganic

They’ve been making their own coffee since 2002, but that’s not to say Tapa’s just for caffeine addicts. The great range of cakes alongside a decent sandwich selection are enough to turn the Pollokshaws spot into a temptation for anyone.

40 | The Glad Cafe 1006A Pollokshaws Rd | @thegladcafe

A day-to-night venue where you’ll find locally roasted coffee and treats by the day and indie/ electronic music by the moon. It’s a creative and cultural magnet in the south of the city; Glasgow’s pride and joy.

The Glad Cafe

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41 | The Sparkle Horse

44 | The Hanoi Bike Shop

16 Dowanhill St | @TheSparkleHorse

8 Ruthven Ln | @hanoibikeshop

Sat behind Kelvinhall subway, The Sparkle Horse features nearly as much black paint inside as it does on its stark exterior. The low lighting and comfy booths make The Sparkle Horse a laid-back space to while away the hours after lectures.

Now that everyone’s finally realised that Vietnam’s cool thanks to the dozens of ‘Exploring Vietnam!’ photo albums on their newsfeeds, this place probably isn’t going to be a cult secret for much longer. Get a table at this brilliant Vietnamese street food joint while you can.

42 | Three Judges 141 Dumbarton Rd | @the3judges

A classic ‘old man’s pub’, the West End spot focuses on real ales and craft beers. A great place to get started on your beer education, once you’ve got through the Beer 101 of student union pints and unpronounceable Lidl special offers.

43 | Juice Garden 223 Byres Rd | @juice_garden

It might make you feel a bit like a Kardashian, but you’re just going to have to overlook that. Juice Garden’s got a menu of beautiful juices, smoothies and soups, and the cafe itself is decked out with comfy white furniture, fake grass, and groovy technology embedded in the tables.

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VENUES

Hill Head Book Club

THE SKINNY 25/08/2016 16:06

49 | Artisan Roast 15-17 Gibson St | @artisanroast

Stop right there, sleepy student. Stop going to all the boring chain coffee churners. Visit the lovely Scottish coffee magicians at Artisan Roast, instead. All the beans are roasted on-site in their ‘roasting den’, it’s comfy, and the resident bakers’ treats are truly scrumptious. Ooh, and there’s tea, too.

50 | Tchai-Ovna House of Tea 42 Otago Ln | 0141 357 4524

Òran Mór

There are over 80 different teas on offer at TchaiOvna, and it’s also vegan-tastic too. For that very reason you’ll be fighting off fellow tea-slurpers, yoga-moms and shaky businesspeople for a space, but be nice. Plenty of floor cushions to go around.

45 | Hillhead Bookclub

51 | WEST on the corner

17 Vinicombe Street | @hhbookclub

160 Woodlands Rd | @westonthecorner

Face it, you’re not going to spend much of your life in an actual library this year, so why not make up for lost time in a pretendy one? This bohemian pub is practically made for youthful fellows; vinyl soundtrack, comfort food and strawberry mojitos on milkshake budgets.

Want sensational beer, and want to consume it in a beer garden? Head to WEST. No, we’re not engaging in some snide Western supremacy here.

WEST is a Brewery, and one that brews its nectar according to the 1516 German Purity Laws. Lush.

46 | Òran Mór

52 | The Hug and Pint 171 Great Western Rd | @thehugandpint_

Byres Road | @oranmorglasgow

The Gaelic translation of ‘great melody of life’, Òran Mór is pretty aptly-titled. It’s a converted church which acts as cultural centre and meeting place in the West End. There are two bars, two restaurants, a nightclub and a blazing roster of gigs. Melodic indeed.

47 | Tribe Two

In June 2015, Hug and Pint held open its arms and began its mission of offering nights of tremendous music to Glasgow, one beer-y hug at a time.

If the joint’s name feels familiar, that’s probably because it was taken from the title of Arab Strap’s album Monday at the Hug & Pint. A top notch spot for chilling, collaborating and performing music which would make Moffat and Middleton proud.

1 Bank St | @tribetattoo

You’re in Glasgow. Obviously you’re going to want to get some metal in those ears at some point.

Tribe Two piercing and tattoo salon is just off Great Western Road, a perfect location for a spot of bodily mutilation between lectures.

48 | Inn Deep 445 Great Western Rd | @inndeepbar

The clever people at Williams Brothers brewery are responsible for the thing of glory that is Inn Deep. Repeated victors in our Food & Drink survey, this riverside haunt has got its beer and burgers down to a winning formula. And that formula includes fishtanks.

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Tchai-Ovna House of Tea

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53 | SWG3 100 Eastvale Pl | @SWG3glasgow

This one’s come a hella long way since its days as a decomposing grotto and hipster’s wet dream.

The once bleak-as-midwinter interior has been transformed into a sleek, haunting auditorium.

You’ll probably drunkenly bump into one or two of the chillingly talented creatives who’ve contributed to the clubs and gigs at SWG3 too, which is always pleasant.

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SWG3

54 | Big Licks 1185 Argyle Street | @biglicksglasgow

Remember slushies? The brainfreeze, the glorious hit of probably slightly illegal preservatives and colourings? Oh, and the ultimate badge of honour, a violet-stained tongue? Relive the joy at Big Licks ice cream parlour. Or, y’know, get an ice cream sundae if you want to be all grown up about it (borrrring).

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55 | Piece 1056 Argyle St | @pieceglasgow

To get you up to speed on the culinary vernacular, a ‘piece’ is a sandwich up here. That in mind, it’s not too difficult to determine what this deli is all about. Piece’s sandwich menu is terrifically comprehensive, with dozens of sandwiches on the go.

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56 | Lebowski’s 1008 Argyle St | @lebowskis_west

Do you like milk? Are you prepared to have your sober brain drenched in milktastic bliss? Would you consider drinking a White Russian which contains Buckfast? Why are you still taking this quiz when there’s a White Russian bar waiting to make you the happiest dairy-drinker alive?

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1 | Clark’s Bakery

2 | The Speedwell Bar

Unit 3, Annfield Row | @clarks24hbakery

165 Perth Rd

Rescuing hangry people in Dundee since 1950, Clark’s Bakery stays open all day and all night too.

Home baked cakes, pastries and burgers that’ll clog yo’ arteries to boot. Heard of the helicopter yet? Won’t be long til you do, so enjoy your coronal health while you still can.

Generations of Dundee students have taken their first brave steps from the Union bar into the pub world at this Edwardian institution. Grab a pint, pull up a chair and constantly refer to the place as ‘Mennie’s’ – the nickname given in honour of its former landlady – and you’ll fit in in no time at all.

3 | Generator Projects Unit 25-26 Mid Wynd | @generatorproj

Generator was launched in 1996, and has provided a space for new and established artists to exhibit their work ever since. Its projects are run by a team of six artists who rotate every two years, keeping things super fresh and exciting. Oh, and membership is a fiver. A FIVER.

4 | Art Bar 140B Perth Road | 01382 641366

Generator Projects

2016 – 2017

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Practically on top of Duncan of Jordanstone art school, this one’s a bar especially for the art folk of Dundee. Thanks to the creative clientele and their cravings for out-of-hours arts, you can look forward to open mics and regular live music slots.

Drinks are beautifully affordable too.

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5 | Drouthy’s

8 | The West House

142 Perth Rd | @drouthys

2 West Port | @thewesthouse

Managed by the same bunch of edge-maestros that are behind Edinburgh’s woodfired hipster den OX184, Drouthy’s is as hip’n’happening as you’d expect. They keep things simple, but make sure there’s plenty going on, whether you’re ravenous for hearty grub or craving an ale.

It’s a younger resident of Dundee’s bar-restaurant scene, but The West House is a good’un if you fancy drinks and snacks in a chic setting. All white walls, big windows and champagne flutes suspended in anticipation above the bar, it’s just a nice place to be.

9 | Buskers

15 Ward Road | @buskersdundee

Self-proclaimed title holder of “Dundee’s Best Mid-sized Music Venue Located Centrally At 15 Ward Road, Dundee” (quite the accolade), Buskers remains a reliable location for those fancying some live music. Catch local and touring bands, along with rock and indie nights too.

Duke’s Corner

6 | Cooper Gallery 13 Perth Rd | @ExhibitionsDJCAD

Part of the University of Dundee, the Cooper plays host to a series of large-scale exhibitions over the course of the year, offering DJCAD students an ideal opportunity to mingle and draw inspiration.

7 | Duke’s Corner

10 | Dundee Rep

13 Brown Street | @dukescorner

Tay Square | @dundeerep

Beer, BBQs and bands is what Duke’s professes to do best, and to be honest we’re sort of inclined to believe them. They’ve got 30 bar taps which deliver a whole host of ales and craft beers into the happy bellies of Dundee punters, smokey pub grub all day long, and a decent roster of live music.

The Rep is home to one of the country’s most renowned theatre companies, but also accommodates some of the best touring theatre productions as they make their way around the UK. It’s not all highbrow stuff though, you’ll also catch a bit of stand-up, dance and live music there too.

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VENUES

THE SKINNY 25/08/2016 16:07

Brewdog Bar

11 | Underground

15 | Groucho’s

South Tay St | @undergroundvip

132 Nethergate | 01382 228496

Tell you what’s helpful when you’re with a group of new pals who have inconveniently diverse tastes – a mixed music policy at a club, that’s what.

Underground’s recently been refurbed, so it’s all shiny and new, too!

Records! Getcha records here! Groucho’s is a trove of second-hand vinyl, CDs, DVDs, videos and concert tickets. Johnny Marr once called it “the coolest record store in Britain,” so there’s that, too.

12 | Tonic

A trail of 25 plaques dedicated to some badass bitches who made Dundee the almost-wicked place it is, including Janet Keiller (the hero who invented marmalade) and Jean Thomson, who’s thought to be Scotland’s first ever female police officer. Complete with an interactive map and spanning four centuries of history, it’s feminist AND fun AND free. A pretty decent way to get yourself stuck into the streets of ol’ Duntay, too.

141 Nethergate | @TonicDundee

Would you like to consume a 24oz burger? Who doesn’t want to consume a 24oz burger, right?

Well, Tonic’s got that pretty much covered, along with a wicked atmosphere, drinks at prices that won’t slay your student loan and squishy chairs fit for lecture dodgers from far and wide.

13 | DCA 152 Nethergate | @dcadundee

What’s got a two screen cinema, professional printmaking kit and features heaps of high profile exhibitions? DCA, that’s what. Basically a Mecca for Dundee’s artist community, DCA also has its very own café-bar and a gift shop, making it a pleasant place to spend a couple of hours browsing and people watching.

14 | The Phoenix 103 Nethergate | 01382 200014

Schlap-bang in the centre of Dundee and straddling both the pub genres of ‘Old Man’ and ‘Bohemian Cool Person,’ Phoenix is a definite shout if you just fancy hanging around, flaunting your free time like the lucky dickhead you are.

2016 – 2017

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16 | Dundee Women’s Trail

17 | Brewdog Bar Chamber Building, Panmure St | @brewdog

You know what you’re getting with Brewdog – which is handy in Dundee, ‘City of Discovery’. This branch of the Fraserburgh craft beer monolith is bang in the middle of the city, and inside you’ll find the usual Brewdog scenario: wooden furniture, loads and loads of beer from home and away, and surprisingly refined meat and cheese boards.

18 | The McManus Albert Square | @mcmanusdundee

Built atop a former marshland, The McManus has suffered its fair share of structural difficulties.

But it’s returned better than ever after a major structural refurb, and back to demonstrating the history of Dundee in an impressive fashion.

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19 | Metalurgey 40 Dock St | 01382 204440

Books

Culture

20

A triangular tattoo and piercing shop found at the corner of Dock St and Commercial St, this place is our recommended putting-needles-in-your-face shop. They’ve got a talented group of tattoo artists on the go there, too – just don’t waste them on an infinity loop on your wrist.

20 | Reading Rooms

Comedy

57 Blackscroft | @thereadingrooms

Festooned with camouflage roofing and full of people pilled out of their joyous minds, the Reading Rooms is a bit different. It’s loud, intimate and soundtracked by everything from afrobeat to hip-hop.

Clubs

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Art

21 | Visocchi’s

Music

40 Gray St | @visocchis

Food & Drink

21

Over in Broughty Ferry, Visocchi’s started out over 50 years ago as a traditional sweet shop, before venturing later into the gelato arena.

With what’s been pinned as the best ice cream in Scotland by all kinds of movers and (milk)shakers, it’s no wonder Visocchi’s has queues right outta the door.

Reading Rooms

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VENUES

THE SKINNY 25/08/2016 16:08

Money Saving Tips Listen – being a student is expensive. Gone are the halcyon days of your parents where they had more grants than Jurassic Park (which has one Professor Grant). Nowadays it’s loans, loans, loans Words: Edy Hurst

W

ant to pay tuition fees? That’s a loan. Want money to afford accommodation? That’s a loan. Want just money to be able to survive day to day while balancing full time education? Oh lordy, you know that’s a loan.

With cash on the brain, it can seem there’s not all that much in your pocket. But fear not! For here at The Skinny we’ve got our top cash financier (@ edyhurst) on the job to give you some sweet moneysaving life hacks.

1. When you’re at the supermarket buying eggs, get a medium box and swap out the contents for six large bad boys. Baby, you just saved yourself a cool 20p.

2. Take a bin bag to the cinema with you, use it as camouflage from the staff in-between film showings.

You can stretch that single ticket out to a whole weekend at the pictures!

3. Instead of going on an exotic holiday, stand in a bag of sand by an open oven and you’ll be making memories in no time.

4. Retail price is more of a guideline than set in stone, so don’t be afraid to barter with a store assistant, loudly and at the front of a very long queue.

5. Landlords often hike up the rent for students.

When looking for accommodation, beat them at their own game by you and your friends disguising as a typical suburban family.

6. Need to take a bus to get into campus? A strong grappling hook and membership to the archery society can work out as a cheaper way to skim lifts in the long run.

7. Local businesses are desperate to attract students for that fresh hipster vibe, so offer out your street cred at the local retirement home.

2016 – 2017

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8. Clubs and pubs are notorious for drink mark-ups.

To save money on a night out, buy one bottle of beer and top it up with water. Not only will you always have a drink in your hand, but you’ll gain a reputation as a marathon boozer.

9. Rather than a pricey night out at a club, get drunk on a Megabus.

10. There is a wide range of cards you can get that give you discounts anywhere from shops and restaurants to pubs and clubs. NUS is often highly recommended, but an even better one is ‘parent’s credit card’ which will give you 100% off all purchases before it gets cancelled for fraud!

11. Buying books for your course can be expensive, so why not make your own? Just watch as your teacher tries to quiz you on the very book you wrote.

12. Become a mystery shopper and you can get paid to shop! Become an even more mysterious shopper, and you can just walk away with products without anyone noticing.

13. Keep a roll of toilet paper handy for any fancy dress events you may have. Halloween? Mummy!

Christmas? Wrapped-up present! The only limits are your imagination and steadfast confidence in explaining it to others.

14. Make a little bit of extra money by getting a job.

And a haircut, you hippy.

15. Have you ever considered being born into wealth? One of the surefire methods of financial stability is winning a game of privilege potluck. Just make sure you don’t acknowledge it’s helped you! theskinny.co.uk/comedy

COMEDY

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THE SKINNY STUDENT HANDBOOK

www.theskinny.co.uk | @theskinnymag

2016–2017

25/08/2016 15:26

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