The Skinny Student handbook 2012

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S U N D AY 3 0 D E C E M B E R 2 0 12 - T U E S D AY 0 1 J A N U A R Y 2 0 13

Edinburgh ’ s Hogmanay 2012 -13 tickets are now available for the WORLD famous NEW YEAR CELEBRATIONS

EDINBURGH’S HOGMANAY CONCERT IN STREET PARTY THE GARDENS TORCHLIGHT PROCESSION

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SUPPORTED BY:

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05/09/2012 11:49

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CONTE NTS FRONT 6 Heads Up: Our whistle-stop tour of the cultural year ahead across the country.

10 Music: From Alarm Bells to United Fruit, we point out the best new Scottish bands, then hand out a hard-as-nails music quiz.

16 Film: What can you learn from the canon of college movies? According to our Film ed, plenty.

FEATURES 18 Two genuine students give their first-hand accounts of studying abroad.

20 Vlogger Liam Dryden talks about juggling studying and being ‘internet famous’.

22 We put the student media outlets of Scotland under the microscope.

REGULARS 25 Books: Our rundown of cult books features crazy sci-fi, boxing, and an entirely fake book.

28 Clubs: A week-long guide to partying, featuring the Handbook’s obligatory ‘Subject 101’ headline.

30 Theatre: Behind the scenes at Glasgow University’s theatre society in the midst of Fringe madness.

32 Art: A highly scientific, card game-inspired look at the big three art schools.

35 Comedy: The Edinburgh Revue discuss their recent success. Had a lot to do with teamwork, apparently, which is nice.

LIFESTYLE 38 Food & Drink: Homebrew tips and hints, and hangover-busting bars.

40 Fashion: Student fashion tropes, displayed by cartoon cats.

42 Deviance: A guide to discussing the issue of sexuality with those ‘flatmates’ you have.

44 Skinny on Tour: Our very own gap year photo album.

48 Crystal Baws: Your fate, revealed by our resident astrologer.

GUIDES 50 Student Societies: Want to try something new, that’s also a bit weird?

You’re in luck, with our rundown of the ‘more interesting’ societies available.

54 Venues: 25 pages of maps, listings and tips on the top places to eat, drink, dance, mosh and sedately visit during your student life. www.theskinny.co.uk

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05/09/2012 15:26

SEP

HEADS UP The beauty of life as a Scottish student is that there’s always something to do, as evidenced by this round-up of the main events coming this academic year

Start the uni year by poking and prodding various bits of your city, courtesy of Doors Open Day. Glaswegians get a particularly good deal, with the chance to see the Barrowlands without hundreds of people jumping about, or to skulk around the BBC offices at Pacific Quay trying to blag work experience. 15-16 Sep

COMPILED BY PETER SIMPSON

JAN

Those of you who stick around over the Christmas break are in for a treat. The world-famous Hogmanay Street Party on Edinburgh’s Princes Street really does deserve the hype; multiple live stages, the harsh Scottish weather, and a fireworks and light show that Danny Boyle couldn’t dream up. 31 Dec

Start the new year by celebrating your roots, but don’t do anything daft like visiting your family; get yourself to Celtic Connections.

The 20th installment of the festival promises to bring together beardy folk types and bands from the poppier end of the scale in a lovely spirit of Celtic co-operation. From 17 Jan

PHOTO: CHRIS WATT

PHOTO: INGRID MUR

DEC

WASHINGTON IRVING

MAY

JUN

May marks the start of degree show season, with the Duncan of Jordanstone degree show up first. The Dundonians will look to get a head start on their local rivals, before their shows begin in June. In the meantime, turn to p32 for our entirely fair and balanced look at the big three art schools.

18-26 May

If you needed proof that culture exists in Edinburgh outside of August, then here it is. The Edinburgh International Film Festival is back for its 66th year, and is sure to bring the usual mix of crowd-pleasing Holywood premieres and cutting-edge features and shorts. 20 Jun-1 Jul DUNCAN OF JORDANSTONE DEGREE SHOW

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OCT

NOV

Take One Action runs til the 6th with a series of films on activism, Scotland Loves Animation takes hold of Glasgow (12-14 Oct) and Edinburgh (17-19 Oct) with cartoons from across the globe, Document celebrates its 10th birthday from the 19th, and Africa in Motion celebrates the continent’s best film-making talent from the 25th.

November is going to be a noisy month at Glasgow’s Tramway, with the arrival of Sonica, the sonic arts festival. The programme features cutting-edge sound works from all over the globe, and there’s a real focus on making everything accessible, so don’t worry if you’ve never used your ears on art before. 8-18 Nov

TRAMWAY

APR

The Glasgow Film Festival returns, having established itself as one of the top film fests in the UK. We already can’t wait for comedian Robert Florence’s video games strand, which should involve screenings, special talks and events, and swearing. A whole lot of swearing, if past form is anything to go by. 14-24 Feb

As exams get nearer and nearer, you’ll need something to keep you occupied. Luckily, the Glasgow Comedy Festival is along in March. With Jimmy Carr, Richard Herring and Chris Addison already announced, and a huge line-up in the works, prepare to laugh so hard you forget about that pesky dissertation.

From 15 Mar

For the artists reading this, here’s a date for your diary.

The annual RSA New Contemporaries exhibition will display the cream of the crop from the class of 2012. Fine art and architecture students should go to scout out the competition, and make sure they aren’t working on exactly the same idea as someone else.

GLASGOW FILM THEATRE

RICHARD HERRING

PHOTO: DAVID GRINLY

MAR

PHOTO: SCOTTISHCINEMAS.ORG.UK

FEB

RSA NEW CONTEMPORARIES

JUL

AUG

July, cultural, in Scotland. You know this one. Yes, it’s T in the Park (12-14 Jul). Big name bands, a big field, and a big mess when it’s all done. If you fancy something a bit different, give Kelburn Garden Party (6-7 Jul) a try, not least because it takes place at a rainbow-painted castle.

The Edinburgh International Book Festival is one of the highlights of August, especially Unbound, a series of late-night events at the Festival with live music, debate and chat.

It’s all free, and as books are involved it technically counts as revision. 10-26 Aug

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KELBURN GARDEN PARTY

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05/09/2012 11:52

EDITORIAL HEY, STUDENT! Sorry about the slightly abrupt welcome, but that wasn’t us shouting at you in a cheery, hyped-up style, it was actually a reference to an early 80s post-punk band called The Fall. You won’t have heard of them because you’re a student, and are therefore a simpering teenager who’s too busy mucking about with traffic cones, drinking in the daytime, and describing things as ‘random’.

Or are you? You see, when we were putting this bad boy together we came to a realisation: rather than a homogenous mass of drones all sharing the same haircut, students are genuine, real people. With that in mind, this year’s Student Handbook has been designed to reflect exactly what we do on a month-in month-out basis, with a few extra student specials thrown in for good measure.

Our Music guide should prove equally helpful to the fresh-faced newcomers and all you final-year students desperately trying to keep up to speed while also having write dissertations. Our Clubs writers have banded together to plan out your entire week on the dancefloor, while Film editor Jamie presents your cinematic role models on whom to base your every move.

For the more practical among you, we talk to YouTuber Liam

Dryden to find out how to get internet famous, profile some of the stranger student societies on offer across the country, go behind the curtain of one of the country’s oldest student theatre companies, and get the inside track on just what it takes to study abroad. Persistence and a love of interesting things and people, apparently.

As if all that wasn’t enough, we’ve put together comprehensive guides to the best student bars, cafes, venues, clubs, cinemas and galleries in Edinburgh, Glasgow and Dundee. We’ve also had your horoscopes looked into for the coming year, cast our eye over the worlds of art school and the student paper, and even taken a look at student fashion.

The fashions are modelled by cats. While we recognise that many of the student stereotypes are lazy, we double-checked the one about students’ love for hilarious pictures of cats, and it’s definitely true.

So there you are, an actionpacked introduction to The Skinny which doubles as a handy primer for cultural and student life, whilst also finding time within its pages to dress up animals and start a civil war between Scotland’s art schools.

Well you are genuine, real people, so we thought we’d give you some variety.

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CONTRIBUTORS Editor: Peter Simpson Designer: Kate Dowling Production Manager: Peter Marsden Subeditor: Bram E. Gieben Sales Director: Lara Moloney Marketing Executive: Michaela Hall Sales Executives: George Sully, Tom McCarthy Accounts Administrator: Solen Collet Writers: Finnbar Bermingham, JeanXavier Boucherat, Chris Buckle, Jamie Cameron, Andrew Cattanach, Jamie Dunn, Jassy Earl, Owen Fenn, Keir Hind, Ana Hine, Katherine Parrish, Kate Russell, Amy Saunders, Rowena McIntosh, Neil Murchison, Calum Sutherland, Rosanna Walker, Mystic Mark Illustrators: Oona Brown, Jessica Copsey THE SKINNY Editor: Rosamund West Publisher: Sophie Kyle Contact us: e hello@theskinny.co.uk t 0131 467 4630 Published by: Radge Media Ltd, Registered in Scotland, Company number SC 310052, Registered address: 3 Coates Place, Edinburgh EH3 7AA Every effort has been made to check the accuracy of the information in this publication, but the publisher cannot accept liability for information which is inaccurate.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part without the explicit written permission of the publisher.

The views and opinions expressed within this publication do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the printer or publisher.

www.theskinny.co.uk

05/09/2012 13:05

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SCOTTISH MUSIC: A BEGINNER'S GUIDE Wind turbines, cholesterol, and incredible music: three things Scotland’s got in abundance. Here’s our guide to the latter – to the solo acts, bands, producers and so forth most liable to metaphorically blow your socks off this year WORDS: CHRIS BUCKLE

sounding not entirely dissimilar.

The rest of the picks fit the bill less contentiously. Recent(ish) debutants to have tickled The Skinny’s collective fancy include Happy Particles, who swirl up dreamy lullabies real nice; ex-De Rosa man Martin John Henry (also moonlighting in Middleton’s aforementioned Human Don’t Be Angry project); and future-pop electro-maven Justin Currie, aka

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RUSTIE

PHOTO: ROSS GILMORE

MARTIN JOHN HENRY

PHOTO: NURIA RIUS

MOUSEPAD

PHOTO: NICK MILLIGAN

HAPPY PARTICLES

Miaoux Miaoux. Then there’s taps-aff riff titans Holy Mountain, subtle-schmubtle Warp wunderkind Rustie, and idiosyncratic art syndicate Muscles of Joy, Delphian shape-shifters Die Hard, buzzing slacker-rock skater-bois PAWS, and MC + drums duo Hector Bizerk.

Oh, and emotive indie ensemble French Wives, prodigious electronic minimalist Konx-

PHOTO: NICK MILLIGAN

NOW NATURALLY, you don’t set about squeezing an entire country’s musical fruits into a few hundred words without a whole lot slopping over the sides. But with some modest parameters to guide the selection process, we’ll give it our best shot, goddammit.

So, on the basis that the likes of Franz Ferdinand, Belle and Sebastian and Mogwai are already firmly squared away in the public consciousness, we’ve focussed our sights solely on younger guns – those who’ve impressed with no more than EPs, an eye-catching gig, or, at most, a scintillating debut to their name. We’ll let Malcolm Middleton through on a technicality, his debut as Human Don’t Be Angry having taken a sonic detour from previous solo work to revitalising effect.

Similarly, Scottish Album of the Year Award winners Aidan Moffat and Bill Wells can scrape in too, if we consider them a single recording unit and overlook the megaton of brilliance they’ve each recorded in other guises and partnerships. And Gerard Love’s Lightships can act as proxy for all the amazingness Teenage Fanclub have produced in their twenty-odd-year existence, what with his new outfit’s breezy/bittersweet melodising

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05/09/2012 11:56

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Copyright © 2012 JACK DANIEL’S. All rights reserved. JACK DANIEL’S and OLD NO.7 are registered trademarks.

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EST. 2002

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Om-Pax, Chris Devotion and his punky, new wave-indebted Expectations, and quirky feetdraggers Jesus H Foxx, who finally got round to releasing their overdue (but top-notch) debut in April. Which is slow, but not as slow as eagleowl (recent tweet in response to query ‘when’s the album due?’: “about three years ago”) – good things come to those that wait, etc. Case in point: Divorce, currently fulfilling their reputation for terrifying, noisy awesomeness with a formidable self-titled full-length.

Others are pre-debut album for good reason: Churches only introduced themselves in May this year, but their bold, hook-filled electropop is already proving seriously addictive (plus, their membership allows a smuggled mention of The Unwinding Hours and The Twilight Sad, on albums two and three respectively and going from strength to strength).

Sacred Paws are similarly fresh

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out the gates, with every gig caught thus far a party-starter and then some; Palms deliver high-calibre, lo-fi sounds with a jagged undertow; while Aggi Doom’s brooding debut single Bring Me the Head has well and truly turned ours.

Then there’s the silver-lining acts that come from a beloved band’s break-up: Danananykroyd have shattered into Alarm Bells, Ex Teens and Ghost Pants, amongst others; Findo Gask members have reappeared in Bermuda (formerly Milk), Babe and the recently-reunited Mitchell Museum; while Joe Howe may have put Gay Against You to bed, but continues to bend brains as Ben Butler and Mousepad.

Finally, there are those at the other end of this arbitrary set of qualifying criteria – those with a second album gestating, some in the early stages, others ready to drop. Hudson Mohawke is most likely dreaming up glitchy,

PHOTO: ROSS GILMORE

CHURCHES

dayglo shouldn’t-work-doeswork sound combos this very moment; United Fruit have been debuting promising new material live of late; while recent Chemikal Underground signees Conquering Animal Sound have already finished Kammerspeil’s successor On Floating Bodies, with a release pencilled in for early 2013.

Can. Not. Wait.

So much music, so little space in which to do it justice… Just enough room left to mention Neighborhood Gout, namecheck Kid Canaveral, acknowledge Lady North, recognise Over the Wall, touch on Holy Esque, note Dam Mantle and reference Withered Hand. But as the thesaurus reaches its limits, so do we: you’ll have to figure the rest out for yourself.

CHURCHES PLAY SCOTTISH NATIONAL GALLERY OF MODERN ART, EDINBURGH ON 28 SEP. HAPPY PARTICLES PLAY ELECTRIC CIRCUS, EDINBURGH ON 16 OCT. HUMAN DON’T BE ANGRY PLAYS PAISLEY ARTS CENTRE ON 25 OCT

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Skinny_

QUIZ TIME Before you drown your grey matter in Jäger, here’s a few teasers carrying the musty scent of academia to set you on your way...

WORDS: "UNCLE" FINBARR BERMINGHAM 1. Simon & Garfunkel’s original soundtrack is one of the most lauded in movie history. But can you recall who played the two leading roles in 1967’s The Graduate?

8. Gene Simmons, Art Garfunkel, Sheryl Crow, Sting and Peaches... it’s not the lineup for the next I’m A Celebrity..., but a list of musicians who, upon graduating from university, did which job?

2. Particle physicist and University of Manchester professor Brian Cox has become the face (and voice) of popular science.

But which band did he play keyboards with in an alternative reality back in the 1990s?

9. Which musician, electronic producer and mathematics PhD told the Guardian: “If there’s any real similarity between maths and music, it’s that with both, you’re fumbling around and using your intuition to try to fit things together”?

3. Which mega selling country star, who bizarrely attempted to reinvent himself as 'Chris Gaines' in the late 90s, earned a degree in advertising from Oklahoma State University in 1984?

4. Dexter Holland passed up the chance of a PhD in molecular biology to release a string of hits including (ironically) Why Don’t You Get A Job? Which band was he the lead singer for?

5. Frat boys Vampire Weekend leapt to fame in 2008 with their preppy collars and verbose lyrics. But can you define what an Oxford comma (which lent its name to one of their songs) is?

6. Which Scottish university can count Karine Polwart, Gary Lightbody and John Suchet among its alumni?

7. Lionel Richie, Mick Jagger and Gene Kelly each hold a degree in which subject?

10. Which Canadian artist and musician was expelled from the Montreal’s McGill University (where she studied both Russian literature and neuroscience) for pulling hooky on a regular basis?

11. Which US star studied at both the American Academy of Art and Chicago State University, before dropping out of both to focus on his music career, a move that inspired the title of a 2004 album?

12. Which seminal dream pop band of the late 1980s was formed at Harvard University by three undergraduates who had been classmates at high school?

15. In 2001, the music of which controversial American recording artist was banned by Sheffield University’s students’ union for allegedly being homophobic?

16. Which Scottish-American legend, whose band’s albums include More Songs About Buildings and Food, delivered a TED talk entitled 'How Architecture Helped Music To Evolve' in 2010?

17. Good Will Hunting portrayed a labourer (Matt Damon), subsequently discovered to be a mathematical genius by a university lecturer and Fields Medal winner (Stellan Skarsgard).

Which artist contributed six tracks to the movie’s soundtrack?

18. At which university did Thom Yorke study?

19. Which influential rock frontman, who has registered 1,500 songs with the BMI and was named as the 78th greatest living songwriter by Paste, threw Wright State baseball team’s first NCAA no-hitter in 1975?

13. Which Scottish songstress received an honorary degree from Queen Margaret University this year, in honour of “her contribution to the creative industries”?

20. Which legendary guitarist began working on a PhD in astrophysics from Imperial College, London in the 1970s, before finally completing it in 2007, over 30 years later?

14. In 2011, Canadian singer Mary-Lu Zahalan-Kennedy became the first person to complete

ANSWERS ON PAGE 47

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a masters degree studying which British musical institution?

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Skinny_Student_Handbook_DF Concerts 31/08/2012 15:59 Page 1

DF CONCERTS & EVENTS PRESENTS… DF CONCERTS & EVENTS PRESENTS… DF CONCERTS & EVENTS PRESENTS…

+ SYLVER TONGUE

PLUS SPECIAL GUESTS

The Enemy + States of Emotion

02 ACADEMY GLASGOW

T SUNDAY 25TH SOLD OUNOVEMBER & MONDAY 26TH NOVEMBER NEW ALBUM ‘COME OF AGE’ OUT NOW THEVACCINES.CO.UK

Glasgow O2 Academy

EDINBURGH HMV PICTURE HOUSE FRI 19TH OCTOBER

Dunfermline Alhambra Theatre

GLASGOW O2 ABC

MON 29TH OCT

THE NEW ALBUM

@Rever

FORRES THE LOFT FRI 2ND NOV

ULLAPOOL VILLAGE HALL SAT 3RD NOV

NINANESBITTMUSIC.COM

DUNDEE Fat Sams Live Tuesday 2nd October

EDINBURGH THE QUEEN’S HALL

PLUS

O2 ACADEMY GLASGOW

SUNDAY 14TH OCTOBER

SAT 20TH OCTOBER

FRIDAY 5TH OCTOBER

THEME PARK

MONDAY 22ND OCTOBER

www.totallyenormousextinctdinosaurs.com ALBUM ’TROUBLE’OUT NOW

GLASGOW O2 ABC

THE NO.1 ALBUM ‘ELECTRA HEART’ OUT NOW WWW.MARINAANDTHEDIAMONDS.COM

GLASGOW THE ARCHES

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LIANNE L A H AVA S

Sunday 14th October

Makers

FRI 19TH OCTOBER

TUE 30TH OCT THU 1ST NOV

WILL BE RELEASED ON 15TH OCTOBER. WWW.BATFORLASHES.COM

Saturday 13th October

end&The

EDINBURGH LIQUID ROOMS

INVERNESS IRONWORKS ABERDEEN THE TUNNELS

Dundee Fat Sams Live

Edinburgh Liquid Room Fri 12th October

SUN 28TH OCT

STIRLING TOLBOOTH

SUN 21ST OCTOBER

Friday 12th October

ST ANDREWS ST ANDREWS UNIVERSITY

BLOCPARTY.COM

SATURDAY 6TH OCTOBER

w w w. l i a n n e l a h a v a s . c o m ‘IS YOUR LOVE BIG ENOUGH’ THE DEBUT ALBUM OUT NOW

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Debut album ‘Through The Night’ available now

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Glasgow The Arches Fri 12th Oct

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MIRAGE ROCK THE NEW ALBUM SEPT. 18TH

O2 ABC GLASGOW

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THE MIDSUMMER STATION UK TOUR

GLASGOW ORAN MOR• WED 21ST NOV EDINBURGH ELECTRIC CIRCUS• THU 22NDNOV

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Thu 20th September

Album ‘Lonely Are The Brave’ out now

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FAT H E R S O N

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O2 Academy Glasgow Friday 30th November

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TUE 9TH OCTOBER New album out in Oct 2012

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BEACH HOUSE + HOLY OTHER GLASGOW THE ARCHES MONDAY 29TH OCTOBER

E

O2 ABC GLASGOW www.boysnoize.com

For tickets call: 08444 999 990 or online: www.gigsinscotland.com www.ticketmaster.co.uk

Follow gigsinscotland on twitter @gigscot

05/09/2012 11:59

WATCH AND LEARN John Hughes movies might have told you that you’ve already come of age, but uni is where you really find yourself. Below are some college movies that reveal the dos and don’ts to follow over then next four years WORDS: JAMIE DUNN

PARTYING DON’T: NATIONAL LAMPOON’S ANIMAL HOUSE (JOHN LANDIS, 1978) I’ve never seen the appeal of Animal House. Don’t get me wrong, I could watch John Belushi’s Bluto do his zit impression all day, but can you imagine living with him? For one thing, your dry cleaning bill would be enormous. John Landis’ landmark comedy offers up two kinds of student: rich dicks in pastel Ralph Lauren v-necks who are a bit too keen on spanking their pledges’ rear ends or toga-party throwing anti-establishment anarchists.

Neither appeal, quite frankly.

The laddish bonhomie of Faber College’s Delta fraternity gives me flashbacks to the forced fun of freshers week: the weak lager, the iron stomach competitions, the rapey stunts involving intoxicated women taking their clothes off. It’s sleazy and queazy. You’ll find far better ways of spending your next four years in the following pages.

DO: METROPOLITAN (WHIT STILLMAN, 1990) Whit Stillman’s debut film throws us and its lead character, Tom Townsend (Edward Clements), into the world of debutantes and dandies. Tom, a wannabe preppy in a rented tux, is adopted by a

charming bunch of Ivy League socialites. These kids are the antithesis to the Animal House frat boys. They lounge about their parents’ 5th Avenue apartments discussing the merits of Jane Austen and glibly denigrating the surrealists – they “were just a bunch of social climbers,” says Nick, the acerbic aristocrat who takes Tom under his wing.

Like all good students, they are adorably pretentious. Unlike Landis, who seems to revel in his film’s nasty reverse-snobbery, Stillman has compassion for his film’s teen bourgeoisie; his camera ridicules and sympathises.

Uni doesn’t always have to be cider, toga parties and Chesney Hawkes – Metropolitan teaches us to stay classy.

SEX DON’T: RULES OF ATTRACTION (ROGER AVARY, 2002) This is the university experience as nightmare. Adapted from the second post-modern poison pen novel from Bret Easton Ellis, it follows Sean Bateman, a nihilistic git who makes his serial killer big bro Patrick (American Psycho) look like Frank Spencer.

He’s all the more terrifying for being played by James Van Der Beek, the moonfaced lead from Dawson’s Creek, the most chaste teen show in the history

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of TV. Sex, for Sean, should be drug-fueled and vomit soaked.

Any hint of emotional connection and his dick goes limper than a French baguette in a jacuzzi.

His classmates’ sex lives aren’t any healthier. For example: Paul (Ian Somerhalder), a gay guy infatuated with Sean’s massive Van Der Beek-coupon, likes to lip dub to George Michael songs as foreplay.

DO: KABOOM (GREGG ARAKI, 2010) Like Rules of Attraction’s Paul, Smith (Thomas Dekker), the lead character in Gregg Araki’s spaced-out sci-fi sex farce, is infatuated with a straight Neanderthal he can’t have – his “dumb as a box of rocks” surfer roommate.

But you don’t see Smith pining.

This boy gets it where he can get it, whether it’s with London (Juno Temple), the shagtastic, fezwearing party girl who jumps him at a party in the men’s room, or a hunky married man who cruises a nearby nude beach for young blokes to bang in his van. Sure, a gang of mask-wearing cultists are trying to kidnap him, but that never stops Smith getting his dick wet. Rarely in American cinema has making the beast with two backs (or in some cases three) been portrayed with such nonchalant abandon.

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05/09/2012 12:00

METROPOLITAN

KABOOM

REAL GENIUS

THE SURE THING

SUCCESS DON’T: THE SOCIAL NETWORK (DAVID FINCHER, 2010) What is success? Jesse Eisenberg’s Mark Zuckerberg is a 90lb computer nerd who outsmarts two über-privileged Aryans – the Winklevoss brothers. That’s the plot to every Revenge of the Nerds-like Hollywood fable.

Success, surely? The only difference is that The Social Network is directed by David Fincher, who brings the same sinister style of Zodiac and Se7en to the Harvard quadrangles where this story takes plays. Our anti-hero doesn’t get the girl: he has the girl but she dumps him in the opening scene because he’s a nasty piece of work. And rather than bring his best mate Eduardo (Andrew Garfield) along for the ride, he screws him out of millions of dollars. Zuckerberg may have more money than Scrooge McDuck, but he’s still a loser clicking that refresh button waiting for someone, anyone, to friend him on Facebook.

DO: REAL GENIUS (MARTHA COOLIDGE, 1985) Once you’ve witnessed the denouement to this paean to education for education’s sake, where 15-year-old whiz-kid Mitch (Gabriel Jarret) destroys www.theskinny.co.uk

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his corrupt professor’s newly built dream home in a shower of popcorn, while simultaneously foiling a nefarious Reagan-era Star Wars program, you’ll never flush a geek’s head down a toilet again. Unlike Zuckerberg, whose main motivation to create is revenge, the college kids of Real Genius invent stuff for shits and giggles. So when they discover that the laser they’ve been building has been sold to the US military to be used as a weapon to vapourise commies by satellite, they decide to get even. Val Kilmer, playing Mitch’s roommate Chris, makes for the most unconvincing rocket scientist since Denise Richards played Dr Christmas Jones in The World is Not Enough, but that only adds to the dada-esque charms of this 80s confection.

RELATIONSHIPS DON’T: BEFORE SUNRISE (RICHARD LINKLATER, 1995) Jesse (Ethan Hawke), all burgundy polo-neck and ridiculous facial hair, starts chatting to a spiky Frenchwoman, Céline (Julie Delpy), while on a train crossing central Europe. We hate him.

When he persuades her to interrupt her journey home to Paris for a day and night of walking and talking around Vienna we hate him even more. As the evening

light fades to darkness they discuss politics and art, contemplate the soul, and pretend to have phone conversations with each other’s friends so they can have honest chats about what they are feeling. We begin to warm to the couple. We begin to root for one of them to make the first move. Linklater’s brilliant film captures attraction better than any modern movie, but damn if it isn’t heartbreaking. What good is love if it’s with someone who lives an ocean away? “We’ll always have Vienna,” they say.

As we discover in its sequel (Before Sunset), you never shake that summer romance.

DO: THE SURE THING (ROB REINER, 1985) John Cusack’s Gib is the perfect role model for any aspiring slacker. English compositions are written in the dead of night while eating frozen pizza: the daylight hours are for throwing the ol’ pig skin around campus and shotgunning beers. Relationships are a bit tricky, though. “All the girls at this school want to stay indoors, smoke and relate,” says Gib, “I don’t like them.” Like Jesse in Before Sunset, Gib finds his ideal girl, the eponymous sure thing, but she’s 2000 miles away on the west coast. To get to this no-strings-attached sex goddess, the cash-strapped Gib must bum a ride with his school’s resident killjoy, Alison (Daphne Zuniga), who’s crossing the country to be with her straight-laced boyfriend.

It’s basically It Happened One Night for the John Hughes generation. Gib and Alison, despite have opposing attitudes to nutrition and mooning, are actually made for each other. Shocking.

So before you propose to that mysterious exotic beauty you met online, consider the square down the hall.

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HIT THE ROAD, JOCK: STUDYING ABROAD

Studying overseas need not be daunting or off-putting, and to prove it we have two first-hand accounts of just what it’s like to study abroad WORDS: KATHERINE PARISH AND AMY SAUNDERS PHOTO: AMY SAUNDERS BLAME LIAM NEESON, and his stupid, poorly-drawn daughter for getting kidnapped within five minutes of turning up in Europe.

Or blame Eli Roth for making out that any country where they don’t speak the English is full of psychotic murderers. Those two have made out that travelling to new climes is inherently dangerous and a bad idea, and frankly that’s a load of pish. Studying abroad can help you experience new cultures, make new friends, and tick various boxes on the great checklist of life while you’re still young enough to climb hills.

More on that later, but we’ll do the facts first.

There are a range of different ways to study abroad, and the British Council have their hand

in many of them. The Council’s ‘World Scots’ initiative is all about sending Scots students off to the far corners of the world to absorb the local knowledge, so that when they come back they are worth employing and/or paying any attention to. There are two main elements to the ‘World Scots’ initiative, each with its own exotic name and set of criteria.

In the blue corner, Erasmus, the enormous pan-European exchange project. Erasmus is 25 years old this year, having sent over 200,000 British students off to mingle with their foreign counterparts across 33 different European countries. Erasmus students need to have finished at least a year of university in their home country, and can then

spend up to a year in another EU country doing the learning.

In the red corner, there’s the The International Association for the Exchange of Students for Technical Experience. Catchy.

IAESTE is for the boffins, offering six-to-twelve week summer placements abroad for engineering and science students, everywhere from Argentina to Zambia. It is a bit more specific, but it does offer genuine experience of the real world, and is open to students over 19 who are in second, third or fourth year.

As well as these options, your university may have its own exchange programmes with partners across the globe, so your options could well be limitless. But why let us pitch you

WILMINGTON, NORTH CAROLINA; CAST OF ONE TREE HILL OUT OF SHOT

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the idea of travelling away from your friends and family to hang about with a bunch of strangers, when you can read the stories of a couple of students who’ve done it already and returned to tell the tale? There’s no reason, so that’s why you’re going to do that just now.

Katherine is a German & Italian student at St Andrews When I chose to study languages at university, the year abroad weighed in as a huge factor in my decision, and I chose to spend my third year studying in Verona, Italy. This wasn’t the easiest option for me as any grades I got over in Italy counted towards my final degree mark. In spite of this I jumped feet first into a completely different academic system to the UK one, with barely enough Italian to ask for directions. Ten months on, I have to say it’s been the experience of a lifetime. I have learnt things I could never have learnt here at home and have had such a brilliant opportunity that I would recommend to anyone.

First and foremost, I have to say that the year abroad is not a walk in the park. It will be difficult at first, I can almost guarantee it. European universities are unbelievably different to the British system to which we are accustomed; you are a lot more independent. Independent to the point where you feel the university doesn’t know you exist.

You will pull your hair out trying to work out the bureaucracy and feel incredibly lost at first when navigating the new systems and rules but I assure you, it’s all worth it in the end. You may feel lost, but you’re not alone. When studying abroad as an Erasmus student, you’re guaranteed to find at least 100 other people in exactly the same boat as you.

Students from all over Europe

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(and beyond) study abroad with the Erasmus programme every year, and you don’t have to be studying languages to do a year abroad (although it helps!).

Universities will offer beginner’s courses in their language and often offer courses in English as well. There are also activities organised by international student groups like trips to cities and nights out. Once you get the hang of it you’ll love it and by the time you come back to the UK, you’ll miss it. I would honestly recommend an Erasmus year to anyone; it’s one of the most enriching and exciting experiences you can have in life.

Amy has just graduated from Stirling with a Film and Media Studies degree Stepping off the plane in sunny, scorching hot North Carolina, I knew I’d made the right decision.

Yes, I’d just flown to America for the first time (ALONE) but in that moment any fears were forgotten as the excitement of what lay ahead in the next six months took over. I’d always dreamt of studying abroad, but figured it was a distant, unachievable dream requiring A-grades in every subject. However, I quickly discovered this was far from the truth – the most important thing by far is to be enthusiastic and open minded to experiencing a new culture.

Most universities offer exchanges in multiple countries, the most popular being America, Canada and Australia. Being a film student I opted to choose the home of Hollywood – The United States – and more specifically Wilmington, NC, the home town of One Tree Hill. This meant I got to watch the filming of the show as well as meet cast members!

[Editor’s note – your level of love for One Tree Hill may differ from

that shown here] At first, moving to a new country and essentially establishing a new life is daunting. But within a couple of weeks, after navigating myself around the huge, beautiful campus, making some brilliant new friends and adapting to the yummy American diet, I felt right at home.

When I imagined American University life, I thought of the way the movies portray it – all fraternity and sorority parties, drinking out of ‘red cups’ and playing beer pong. Well, my experience was just like the movies, but better – it was real life! On top of this, I met some amazing lifelong friends from all over the world including Australia, Sweden, Spain, Japan, and of course, America, giving me free places to stay for many holidays to come!

Of course, studying abroad isn’t just a social experience, studying is also a big part. The standard of teaching at American Universities is excellent because the students pay such high tuition fees. I learnt so much in my semester abroad and got the chance to take some weird but wonderful classes led by some equally wacky but lovely professors. And I promise, if you study in America, they LOVE any kind of British accent, making you very popular!

Following an unforgettable semester in North Carolina, I spent a month travelling the States with my new friends. I can honestly say it was the best few months of my life, and now I’m just working on getting a Green Card...

WWW.BRITISHCOUNCIL.ORG/SCOTLANDEDUCATION-WORLD-SCOTS.HTM

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BIG MAN OFF CAMPUS

Liam Dryden is an Edinburgh student pulling double duty as a vlogger with over six million views on YouTube. We find out how does it, surprise him with numbers, and learn the importance of time management INTERVIEW: PETER SIMPSON ILLUSTRATION: OONA BROWN AND JESS COPSEY MANY STUDENTS have summer jobs. Some go off to toil in shops, others wind up propping up the other side of a bar in penance for their sins, and the really unlucky ones end up working for their parents. Liam Dryden, on the other hand, is off around America after appearing on a panel on international video-making at the world’s biggest Youtube conference, Vidcon. You see, the Napier University student is kind of a big deal in the world of online video. With over 90,000 subscribers and counting, this unassuming student has more fans than... well, than us lot, anyway. Intrigued and enraged, and in the wake of several near-misses and a West Coast power cut, we caught up

with him via the thoroughly modern medium of instant messaging to find out how he does it.

So, how does a twenty-something student from Edinburgh end up in America talking at an online video conference with thousands of attendees?

Haha, well... Online video is having a bit of an insurgence right now.

Web series are becoming more popular and ‘next big artists’ are being discovered based on the things they post online. I’m lucky enough that I’ve been a part of this world for the past few years, to the point where I’ve accumulated enough of a following that at least a few people care about the things I have to say!

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How did you get started?

Well when I was in high school, I was a part of a lot of music and drama productions, etc. But when starting uni, I found I didn’t really have a lot of time to be a part of the same sort of things. So I guess I started video-blogging as a kind of creative outlet, after I saw a few people doing the same sort of thing on YouTube.

Did anyone inspire you to get into vlogging in particular? Or was it more that it was a good fit for the spare time you had?

The specific video I saw was featured on the front page. It was ‘Vlog Tag Game’ by Alex Day (nerimon), a vlogger who is now one of my really

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good friends and a bandmate. The video was the start of a chain where the person states five facts about themselves and tags five other users to do the same thing. It showed me that there was this whole community side to YouTube that I hadn’t been exposed to before, and I was inspired to join in!

So for new people getting into Youtube, is the community side of things one of the more important elements to get involved in?

Well it’s hard to say, because that was four years ago and YouTube and all the people who are a part of it have come a long way. There are a lot of ‘big-name’ YouTubers who are earning millions of views and can live comfortably on their ad revenue. A lot more people who join in these days seem to be in pursuit of that dream rather than much else.

But that’s not to say the community aspect isn’t still important; events like VidCon and all the other meetups and gatherings amongst users of the site are evidence of this.

The recognition online personalities get now, and some of the numbers they draw, seem a bit daunting. We worked out that if all your subscribers got together, they’d be the 5th biggest city in Scotland.

WOW. Geez. I’ve never thought of doing the math! The number is definitely an exciting thing, but I for one appreciate the quality of my subscribers over quantity. A lot of great people follow my online stuff and are always quick to give me good feedback, and I definitely value that over a big number of people who stay silent.

Do you get the whole ‘people noticing you in the street’ thing happening?

Oddly, quite a bit. Definitely more than I ever expect from Edinburgh!

I love meeting the faces behind the usernames. One of the most

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recent encounters was a girl sitting in front of me on the bus. We had a great conversation, and she was really excited and I think everyone surrounding us was really confused.

I like when that happens.

“Too many times I've turned down a night out because I was busy editing and then suddenly whoops, you haven't left the house in three days” So how does the vlogging life fit in with student life? It seems a little like vlogging would be a... what’s the word... solitary thing to do?

For the most part it is. I know a few people who include their university friends in their videos, and I’ve done it once or twice as well (for example when we all went to the All Night Horror Madness at the Cameo), but predominantly it’s something I do in my alone time. It’s important to keep a balance though; there’s too many times I’ve turned down a night out because I was busy editing and then suddenly whoops, you haven’t left the house in three days. Like everything else in student life, it’s all about time management.

Is it a bit like everything internetbased seems to be, in that you’ll start something and just get sucked in?

In a way! YouTube is more or less my life now, but that’s okay. It’s my career, it’s been my friendships, relationships, teacher, student... so many different things, and so many opportunities have come from it.

Years of practice mean I haven’t

completely lost touch with reality, and keeping everything in perspective means I know it probably won’t be forever, but at the end of the day I’m just happy and doing something I love.

That’s lovely. See, and they say the internet’s full of cynical troll people...

Yeah! The thing to remember about trolls is no matter how difficult they might try to make your life, at least you’re not the one living under a bridge. Feel free to pretend that statement has some more transcendent meaning.

Ah the joys of the internet, where the subtext is right there on the page. So what tips would you say to any students who want to try YouTube instead of student radio, or student papers etc?

The key point and the one we all ignore (myself included) is time management. Don’t let it overtake your studies unless you’re really, really good at all-nighters. Also if it’s something you want to pursue a bit further, either professionally or otherwise, it might be worth investing in some decent filming/editing equipment. You don’t have to max out your overdraft on the latest Canon DSLR but at the same time you don’t have to sell yourself short with a cheap webcam!

So the most important thing is to manage your time right?

That’s pretty important, but I think THE most important thing is to love what you’re doing. If you have fun with it, it will show, but if you struggle with it and force it out, it will also show, but in a less positive way. Just have fun and don’t let it stress you out!

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STUDENT MEDIA GUIDE Want to try your hands at journalism of both the print and broadcast variety? University is the perfect place to make those tentative first steps into a career in ‘The Media’ WORDS: PETER SIMPSON

SO YOU’RE a grown-up now, with your learning and independence and opinions and shit. You can be trusted to impart wisdom and information unto your fellow man, but all you need is an outlet. Not a blog or a podcast, god no. And not anything too individualistic. An outlet you can brag about in the pub, or point to when your mum asks what you’ve been doing between not washing and trying to freebase peanut butter ‘for a laugh.’ If that’s what you want, and you’re willing to pretend that you’ll put in the necessary work, here are your options...

WORDS

The Journal ‘It’s a student version of...’ : The Guardian The Journal covers Edinburgh student politics with a similar fervour to ‘real’ journalists

covering ‘real’ politics, and has an admirable if somewhat earnest manner when covering dry tales from student reps’ meetings or sparsely-attended protests against The Man. An impressive list of guest columnists, including Alex ‘El Presidente’ Salmond and David ‘Call me Dave’ Cameron, make a spot among The Journal’s writing staff the place to be if you want to pad your CV with famous ‘former colleagues.’

The Magdalen 'It’s a student version of...’: The little magazine that comes with The Guardian Dundee University's Magdalen hits the standard student magazine bases; student politics of little interest to the majority, hand-wringing about the lack of interest in student politics, features which have little relevance to the target audience,

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and some genuinely funny arts coverage. Kudos to the Mag for shamelessly bumping The Journal’s font choice (as nothing says ‘serious student journalism’ quite like a bold serif font), and for using student union money to run hilarious slam pieces on each of the candidates in last year’s student union elections. Take that, the system!

The Student ‘It’s a student version of...’: Edinburgh Evening News It’s the oldest student paper in the UK. It was founded back when Robert Louis Stevenson was at Edinburgh. Every copy is lightly sprinkled with the aroma of old wood and beard wax. OK, maybe not, but The Student does have a whiff of ‘prestige’ about it.

Having said that, it’s widely read, well put-together, and once ran an interview with JK Rowling. Oh, www.theskinny.co.uk

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and they have an almost identical headline font to both The Journal and The Magdalen. Student media types, I have a present for you: it’s called ‘Helvetica.’

Glasgow Guardian ‘It’s a student version of...’: The Independent Here’s a quote from the Glasgow Guardian’s contributor’s guide: “People are going to get their reviews of the latest Cineworld releases elsewhere, so you’re going to have to be a wee bit more niche to write something worth printing.” Take from that slightly passive-aggressive statement what you will, but know that their layout and font choices are on the more interesting side if that’s your bag. If you just want people to like you for being hilarious, you might need to do a bit more research that you’d hoped.

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SOUND

Fresh Air ‘It’s a student version of...’: Radio 1, with fewer hateful tossers Edinburgh is inherently lamer than Glasgow; it’s a necessary by-product of the entire city operating under a UNESCO World Heritage certificate. However, Fresh Air isn’t some second-rate loser station; the output features a huge range of specialist and mainstream shows, and the sheer volume of people at a Fresh Air meeting mean that infiltrating the station and getting your favourite Shins B-side on the (internet) radio is an achievable goal. Fresh Air also stage a huge annual broadcast at the Fringe, so you might even get to awkwardly meet some celebrities, and isn’t that the whole reason most people get into the media? We’ve checked, and it turns out that, yes, it is.

Sub City ‘It’s a student version of....’: 6 Music, if it was staffed entirely by cooler-than-thou Glaswegians If you ever think that you know your way around music, then tune into Sub City and prepare to have your tiny mind blown. The station that started in the mid-90s as the Scottish equivalent of super-cool US college radio is still one of the best places for music in the country, and their massive range of programming and outside events make Sub City participation the badge that will put you over the edge when it comes to making friends with bearded blokes in Nice ‘N’ Sleazys. The student media equivalent of a fixie bike, except it actually works and won’t endanger your wellbeing.

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10 CULT BOOKS YOU HAVEN’T HEARD OF... YET We could do a list of Student Cult Books easily, but you know the drill; On the Road, Catcher in the Rye, etc etc. So here are 10 cult books you’ve probably never heard of WORDS: KEIR HIND BOXIANA BY PIERCE EGAN A curious work to begin with – Egan was a journalist and a fight fan in the early nineteenth century who became a pioneering sportswriter by publishing these volumes, which contain portraits of boxers of the day.

They were extremely successful, and Egan’s prose style, which can be appropriately described as ‘muscular,’ is brilliantly memorable – and he coined the term ‘The Sweet Science.’

POWER WITHOUT GLORY BY FRANK HARDY This one’s well known in Australia. It depicts the rise, in the first half of the twentieth century, of an Australian media mogul called John West, who bears some resemblance to a real media mogul of the time called John Wren. Because it could be seen as an expose, the book became a sensation, and Hardy was sued – but miraculously, he won.

The book is well written, and the shady dealings of Australian media moguls are, sadly, still relevant.

MEMOIR FROM ANTPROOF CASE BY MARK HELPRIN An American writes a memoir of his ridiculously full life as a millionaire, a thief, a flying ace, a hero and a villain several times over. This is a comic picaresque, told with some flair, and most amusing when exploring its heros’ ridiculous, irrational, complete, and utter hatred of coffee.

This proves pretty inconvenient during his journey through life…

UNDER THE GLACIER BY HALLDOR LAXNESS A strange novel from a Nobel Literature Prize winner, about the Icelandic church investigating weird events in a remote parish. Critic Susan Sontag said that this book was the only one she knew that could fit each of the following categories: sci-fi, fantasy, allegory, philosophical novel, dream novel, visionary novel, wisdom lit, spoof and sexual turn-on. Which should be all we have to say here.

THE OCTOPUS BY FRANK NORRIS Frank Norris died aged 32 in 1902; if he hadn't he would almost certainly be better known. He’d conceived an epic, realist, ‘trilogy of wheat’ showing first its production, then the distribution and consumption, but only this first third was written. The title refers to the new railroads, stretching like tentacles across California, stripping its resources. Norris’ understanding of this new century makes it all the sadder he died so early. www.theskinny.co.uk

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ONCE A RUNNER BY JOHN L PARKER JR. The author was a track star who almost made the U.S Olympic team, and the book is about a runner training intensely to do so himself.

Almost the definition of cult, the author sold the book out of his car at track meetings, and it regularly featured in ‘most requested out of print book’ lists until finally reprinted in 2010. Regular reviews weren’t forthcoming, but athletics magazines loved it.

LOCUS SOLUS BY RAYMOND ROUSSEL Locus Solus isn’t for those who like lots of plot. Lovers of language, however, will love this, even if it’s almost certainly best in the original French. A group of people are shown an eccentric’s estate, and the inventions on it, each seeming bizarre and being explained as more bizarre, with the compositional method of the book as bizarre again to match. You really need to read this to get the full idea here...

WHAT MAKES SAMMY RUN? BY BUDD SCHULBERG You’ll occasionally see mentions of ‘Sammy Glick’ figures in old artilces or books. This book is the source, following relentless social climber Glick, who works his way up in Hollywood by working through every trick in the book, then writing his own book of tricks as he rises and rises. Though it’s not widely available, legend has it it’s been used

by Hollywood executives for years as a manual for getting ahead.

DIMENSION OF MIRACLES BY ROBERT SHECKLEY A comedy science fiction story. Earthling Thomas Carmody wins the Intergalactic Sweepstakes and is taken to Galactic Center to collect his prize. He’s left to his own devices to get back though, and his journey makes up most of the book. The style can be summed up by noting that Sheckley is often compared to Douglas Adams, and Adams himself thought there was a resemblance when he finally read Sheckley. That’s a good sign.

HOW SWEET THE SOUND BY JOHN TELFORD An unusually neglected Scottish book. Billy Hart, a writer and an atheist, moves to a village outside Glasgow, and rents a house from the local vicar. The stage is set for conflict between them - but it doesn’t come. Instead, these two articulate men enjoy discussing religion and art, finding plenty of common ground. The wider point is that different people often get along well, but the pleasure in the book is really the well-turned phrases that pass between the men in debate.

THE AERODROME BY REX WARNER Warner was a classicist, and although this book is set when it was written - 1941 - it also has a certain mythic quality to it. An Aerodrome is built near an English village, a shambles of a place with beer drinking, quaint traditions, sex in unkempt bushes, and so on. The Aerodrome will bring modernity, efficiency and order to the place… or will the village bring its ways to the Aerodrome? You’ll be pleased at the result.

THE EAGLE-EYED AMONGST YOU MAY HAVE SPOTTED THAT THERE ARE, IN FACT, 11 BOOKS HERE. THAT’S BECAUSE ONE IS A FAKE. WHICH ONE? IT’S UP TO YOU TO GUESS.

*

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£5

An 80 piece orchestra, LIVE on your doorstep, for only a fiver.

STUDENTS CAN BOOK ANY SEAT FOR JUST £5* AT OUR THURSDAY NIGHT GLASGOW CONCERTS. CITY HALLS BOX OFFICE: 0141 353 8000

bbc.co.uk/bbcsso *Terms and conditions apply. £5 deal applies to Thursday Night concerts in Glasgow only. Proof of student status required. Venue booking fees may apply.

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STUDENT CLUBBING 101 Don’t make the mistake of ending up in the wrong clubs on the wrong nights. Get ahead of the class with The Skinny’s guide to student clubbing WORDS: OWEN FENN, CALUM SUTHERLAND, JAMIE CAMERON, ROSANNA WALKER AND NEIL MURCHISON

SNEAKY PETE'S

THE ARCHES

CHAMBRE 69

THE LIQUID ROOM

IT MAY not have made your UCAS form, but the after dark activity on offer in Scotland’s two biggest cities will have been a major draw for a lot of you.

Here's our pick of some of the most interesting nights you can get stuck into without having to worry about your name appearing on a loan shark’s hit-list...

GLASGOW

Monday: Burn at The Buff Club You might be forgiven for asking what Mondays are for, besides recovering, but Burn haven’t stuck around for 15 years with that attitude. With tunes ranging from funk to electro, drinks from £1.50, and a guestlist available to anybody with the internet it’s the ideal way to get the week started.

Tuesday: i AM at Sub Club A club where music is the top priority, resident DJs Beta and

Kappa have established i AM as one of the most exciting student nights that the city has to offer.

Along with the occasional guest, the pair can be heard blasting out everything from house to hardstyle, all through Sub Club’s legendary sound system.

Wednesday: Octopussy at The Arches Octopussy is the grandaddy of student nights with a capacity that reaches well into four figures. The Arches can prove tricky to navigate after a few trips to the bar but whether you’re getting married at the chapel or chilling in the jacuzzi, Octopussy guarantees a night of unadulterated carnage.

Thursday: Luska at La Cheetah Club Flying the flag for La Cheetah is Luska, making waves as a student-friendly night with a heart of thunderous techno. Residents Jack Swift and Dara Etefaghi

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make this the perfect destination for those who like their music hard, drinks cheap and DJ booths shaped like spaceships.

Thursday: Rubix at Sub Club Rubix is run by enthusiastic young clubbers who managed to convince the world-renowned Sub Club to open its doors on a Thursday night again. A chance to experience the place when its drink prices don’t force you to make a decision between partying and pawning your possessions.

Friday: A Love From Outer Space at The Berkeley Suite This night brings the peerless Andrew Weatherall and Sean Johnston to the decadent surroundings of one of the city’s best kept secrets once every eight weeks for an evening of electronic deviance designed for those who wish to dance. For the other seven weeks...

Friday: Freaky Freaky at Chambre 69 Freaky Freaky has built a massive following over the past year, outgrowing its sweaty beginnings in Nice ‘n’ Sleazys. Starting on September 20th, Freaky Freaky will host a monthly party in Chambre 69, one of Glasgow’s best clubs. Expect R’n’B, cheap drinks, and a good party.

Saturday: I Heart Garage Saturdays at The Garage Unmistakable in its appearance (there’s a giant yellow truck protruding from the roof), The Garage holds students deep within its heart and caters to www.theskinny.co.uk

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them at all times. The cheap bar means you can party right up until 3am without breaking the bank.

Sunday: Church.

Go repent.

EDINBURGH

Monday: Bad Habit at Cabaret Voltaire This newly launched night will introduce some happening low frequencies to your Monday nights with a bass, beats and rhythm-heavy selection. A melange of genre blends from dubstep, drum ‘n’ bass, house and UK Funky should shake off the post-weekend blues.

Tuesday: I Love Hip-Hop at The Bongo Club Bongo Club’s free hip-hop night is about as much fun as a Tuesday can be. The DJs dig out proper old school classics (which can pop up every few weeks) along with newer, less ‘cool’

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tracks from the likes of Usher and Rihanna. Always full of drunk uni kids, droppin’ it like it’s hot.

Wednesday: Mansion at The Liquid Room Multiple rooms, drinks from £1, free entry for girls before 11pm and a shisha garden, all spread across the The Liquid Room and The Annexe. You’ll find the competing grooves of the finest house and electro or R’n’B and hip-hop all pushing to make this one big party.

Thursday: ZZZAP at The Annexe Run by a collective of young artists and DJs, ZZZAP’s focus is on emerging local talent. The night is firmly centred on new music, and they’ve developed close ties with Aberdeen label Tuff Wax and Offbeat in Glasgow, bringing in artists like Lockah and Mirrors.

Friday: Numbers & LuckyMe at Sneaky Pete’s The alternating Numbers/

LuckyMe parties on the last Friday of every month are supercheap considering the sets on offer. Numbers know exactly how to heady atmosphere, while LuckyMe continue to build on their fresh, genre-splintered sounds with affiliate Hudson Mohawke making regular appearances.

Saturday: The Egg at The Wee Red Bar When the rest of town gets swamped at the weekends with ‘normal folk,’ The Egg is the perfect happy hunting ground for students. It’s cheap, it’s fun and the music policy is dead on, playing anything vaguely alternative and indie, without forgetting that this is a Saturday night.

Sunday: The Library Seriously, hit those books.

WWW.THESKINNY.CO.UK/CLUBS

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05/09/2012 12:04

STAG NIGHT: GLASGOW STUDENT THEATRE

Student theatre can seem a fairly daunting proposition from the outside, so we found an insider at one of the country’s biggest student theatre groups to give you the rundown WORDS AND PHOTO: JASSY EARL YOU’VE BEEN abandoned in a room resembling a prison cell, having supposedly entered the newfound realm of adulthood.

Prison cell or not, it’s easier to follow the conventional route to the renamed four year drinking exercise also known as university than take the risk of upsetting the folks. However, the incessant beer pong tournaments and mounds of sick in cereal bowls become tiresome after the first four hours, and you may find

yourself thinking that this uni lark isn’t quite the intellectual meeting of minds you’d hoped for. Not to worry! There’s always student theatre.

Student Theatre at Glasgow, or STaG, is one of the oldest and largest student theatre societies in the country, having existed in one form or another for over 90 years. STaG’s prerogative is inclusivity, taking in any student (or indeed non-student) regardless of their theatrical background.

During the first few weeks of term, STaG host a ‘New Talent Night’ showcasing the freshers’ artistic and theatrical abilities. It is an intense three week rehearsal period with two casts developing the same script simultaneously.

Wind in the Willows was 2011’s production and was this writer’s first taste of theatre at university.

It provided me with many of the friends I still have today and was an entirely new way of coping with what could be a scary first

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30 THE SKINNY STUDENT HANDBOOK 2012-2013

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few weeks in a new city.

Once the Freshers’ madness is out of the way, STaG functions as a creative network, enabling students to work with, and learn from, each other. It’s at this stage that you find that many of the society’s members actually turned down a place at drama school in favour of the opportunities and artistic freedom university would offer, and I’m one of them.

The society functions as an experimental collective rather than a company, an element that Dominic Di Rollo particular enjoys. “You arrive in student theatre and you have no idea what you are doing,” says Dominic.

“Somehow whilst cobbling together with others, you learn how professional theatre works; it falls somewhere between amateur and professional theatre. It’s a learning curve.” Di Rollo won STaG’s annual New Works competition, and as a result directed What’s www.theskinny.co.uk

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He Building In There?, the group’s show at this year’s Edinburgh Fringe.

Dominic says: “In STaG there is every type of person you can possibly imagine. There are people that think of theatre as a high art form and those that think it’s a bit of fun.” This range of participants adds to the appeal of the company, and Dominic feels that this is complemented

by STaG’s locations. “Everyone says Edinburgh is the cultural centre but that is only true during August,” he says. “There’s a real eclectic mix (of people) in Glasgow.”

The transition from amateur student performance to the professional industry comes into play with productions like Di Rollo’s.

He wrote What’s He Building in There? in his last year at school and with STaG’s financial help and collaboration, he was able to take it to the Fringe. “It moved

into something more conceptual.

Instead of having caricatures operating within a farce, you have well drawn, bordering on naturalistic characters within a ridiculous storyline. It’s jarring, but in a good way. It’s completely different. That’s owing to the safe environment that STaG has provided. Many people go away and do other things and forget their time with STaG, but I don’t think anyone can be too good for student theatre.”

No-one would deny that the studies you embark on at University are the main reason you signed up, but if like me you prefer to discover on your own terms, there’s no a better way to spend your time than within the wide and inclusive world of student theatre.

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ART SCHOOL TOP TRUMPS So you’re off to art college, and well on your way to becoming a massive critical success. But have you chosen your art school correctly?

Let’s find out...

WORDS: PETER SIMPSON AND ANDREW CATTANACH ILLUSTRATION: OONA BROWN AND JESS COPSEY

EDINBURGH COLLEGE OF ART Number of fellow students standing in the way of your genius: 1685 Nearby branches of Starbucks in which to sit and look arty and aloof: 18, all over the place like a bad rash.

Turner Prize winners you can claim association with because you’ve sat in the same canteen as them: One (Richard Wright, who also went to Glasgow, so should really only count for half)

DUNCAN OF JORDANSTONE, DUNDEE Student numbers: We couldn’t find out exactly, but fewer than the other two. Exclusive!

Branches of Starbucks: One, and it’s in a shopping centre. Free spirits! Art! Turner Prize winners: One (Susan Philipsz), or half-a-winner more than Edinburgh. Take that, panda folk!

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What we said about their latest crop of students: “You think about all the things you’ve seen in the show and... all your memories are vague and incoherent. Or is it the work that is vague and incoherent?

You can’t tell.”

Odds of being recognised as an ‘arty type’ and therefore loved and venerated: Moderate, descending to low during August when every mad git in the world is in town.

Nearby artistic inspiration: The Castle, the Zoo, the Parliament.

Lots of ‘The’ places, which may point towards a subversive style which still keeps things intelligible for Granny.

What we said: “Impressive... world-class... darkly enjoyable” Odds on being noticed: High; be ready to dodge shambling neds who are confused and enraged by the fact you are carrying a large canvas around.

Nearby artistic inspiration: A ship which failed to get its captain to the South Pole, some lovely ceramic penguins, and a sky-high teen pregnancy rate.

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GLASGOW SCHOOL OF ART Student numbers: 1795 Branches of Starbucks: 12, including the two closest in the UK. There’s a haunting piece of multimedia conceptual art in there somewhere...

Turner Prize winners: Three-anda-half (Douglas Gordon, Simon Starling, Martin Boyce, and the other half of Richard Wright)

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What we said: “Rather serious

(and) subdued... perhaps that big pile of rubble out the front that used to be the Design School buildings has had a sobering effect.”

Odds on being noticed: Low, as

dressing as an extra in a Belle and Sebastian video is pretty much the way of things round these parts.

Nearby inspiration: The gritty,

grimy badlands of the Gorbals, the leafy and lovely West End, and every band and artist you’ve ever heard of, as they’ll all be along sooner or later.

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T H E

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B

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THE EDINBURGH REVUE Student comedy troupes are the perfect place to hone that rapier wit, and The Edinburgh Revue is fast making a name for itself as one of the best of the bunch WORDS: KATE RUSSELL

THERE IS something really interesting happening at Edinburgh University, and no, I’m not talking about academic research. It’s happening outside of the lecture theatres and classrooms, though they do come in handy for rehearsals and photo shoots. And it’s certainly happening away from the labs because, let’s face it, who’s going to let a bunch of comedians loose in a science lab?

I’m talking, of course, about the Edinburgh Revue, the university’s comedy society. Similar societies exist in several of the UK’s universities, notably the Oxford Revue which was set up in the 1950s, but there is something pretty special going on at the moment right here in Edinburgh.

This year, not just one but two of the Revue’s stand-up comedians have made it all the way to the final of the Chortle Student Comedy Awards. Adam Mitchell and Hari Sriskantha both quipped off fierce competitors to be named finalists, and that is no mean feat - finalists from previous years include lovely Geordie Chris Ramsey and everyone’s favourite nerdy Inbetweener Simon Bird. And to put it another way for you Mathiosos out there, one quarter of this year’s finalists come courtesy of the Edinburgh Revue. That’s right, one quarter.

If I was any good at statistics, I’d be better able to illustrate that this kind of thing doesn’t just happen all the time. So what exactly www.theskinny.co.uk

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is it that is creating such a fertile talent spot? I drop in on a preFringe rehearsal to see what I can discover, and it becomes clear, very quickly, that these guys have that special secret ingredient that can change everything – they like each other.

“You make good friends here” confirms Sian Hickson, a sketch troupe member who joined the Revue just this year.

“There’s definitely an atmosphere of friendly competition,” adds Sriskantha, on behalf of the stand-ups, “but for a group of

egotistical young comedians, it’s really friendly!”

This year’s Fringe shows have five performers in the sketch troupe and six stand-up comedians, with one of the performers, Adam Todd, taking part in both. The Revue is a place to experiment, have a go, see what you like, and not have to worry.

Performers are welcomed, of course, but if you prefer off-stage stuff, their arms are open for writers and directors.

“The sketch shows are director led,” says Hickson, “and it’s

ADAM MITCHELL

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very collaborative. We take it seriously, but it’s really laidback.

It’s teamwork.”

But what about the standups? It must be much harder to collaborate when you’re out there on your own. Gemma Flynn explains: “Even though you’re not working in a team in the same way, there is a lot of support.

There are experienced performers around you to give you advice, and if you want some help or feedback with something they’re happy to just take some time and go for a coffee. It is more individual, but still supportive.”

Todd, who joined the Revue three years ago after a friend’s recommendation, believes the Revue is “very different to the alternatives around for people starting out in comedy.”

Hickson agrees, based on her experience at another society which was “too regimented, much more pushy.”

CLARISSE LOUGHREY

GEMMA FLYNN

HARI SRISKANTHA

ADAM TODD

Well, if there’s one thing this sketch rehearsal isn’t, it’s regimented. There’s no director here today; just Hickson, Todd, and Clarisse Loughrey – the other two members of the group couldn’t come today. But that’s fine, the three just do the sketches they can, with willing volunteer Sriskantha filling in for the absentees.

Between sketches, the atmosphere is fun, relaxed, maybe even a little ditzy, but when time comes to practice they're in work mode; these guys are serious about what they’re doing, and that goes a long way to explaining how they’re so seriously good at it.

The nurturing atmosphere these guys have created has another benefit which makes the whole group, and each individual stronger; each performers quirks and uniquenesses are built upon.

Everyone has different strengths, and the Revue helps to grow and

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cultivate it. In the immortal words of Louis Walsh: “They really make it their own.”

The sketches, stand-up routines, performance styles, and acting styles are as diverse as the people involved. There is no jigsaw-piece fitting-the-mould idea here; difference is celebrated – it makes for better comedy after all! So, I ask, what would you say to someone – like you, reading, perhaps – who thinks they might want to give this a shot?

“I’m new to the Revue this year,” says Flynn, “and I just gave it a go – I saw some shows at the Fringe, good and bad, and got a feel for it. Everyone was really helpful and now I’ve done about 60 gigs! If you’ve always thought about it, now is the time to do it!”

“Exactly,” Loughrey agrees, “you’ve got nothing to lose!”

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05/09/2012 12:07

BREW HA-HA: A STU DE NT G U I DE TO HOM E BREW Alcohol greases the wheels of student life, so why not make your own? We pulled out the buckets and clingfilm to find out just what it takes to brew your own booze WORDS: PETER SIMPSON ILLUSTRATION: OONA BROWN AND JESS COPSEY

THE ALLURE of the crowded bar, the clink of glasses and the chatter of the young and beautiful. None of these things are present as we begin our Tuesday night in a bathroom, washing out a plastic bucket with a shower nozzle. Malcolm, today’s intrepid brewer, is informing us of the lack of glamour involved in homebrew.

No kidding.

Our guide for the evening, Malcolm has been homebrewing for two years with plenty of sucess, apart from the time when he got his teaspoons and tablespoons mixed up, resulting in a batch of beer that had more flight than a bald eagle on steroids.

On the menu today is pear cider, one of the myriad beverages you can make at home if you’re willing to put in the time and effort.

Most homebrew comes from kits or pre-mixed solutions, which takes a lot of the danger out of the equation whilst still giving you a massive chemistry set to play with.

Alba Homebrew in Edinburgh and Inn House Brewery in Glasgow can hook you up with all the kit you’ll need, and once you’ve dug into the student loan to buy your mixing bucket and other essentials the savings come thick and fast. Today’s cider kit came in at £14, and it makes 40 pints. £14, for 40 pints.

Once the ingredient mix and water have been bunged in the 25-litre bucket, it’s time to add the yeast. All of a sudden, the room fills with the unmistakable odour of a loaf of mouldy bread that’s been soaked in pear cider. If you don’t think you’d recognise that smell, then just you wait and see.

From here, it’s just a case of stirring it all up and placing a layer of cling film between lid and liquid. This simple task leads to the greatest problem of the evening, prompting our brewer to warn our readers against buying their cling film from a well-known supermarket chain. The one which rhymes with ‘crow-flop.’

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With the lid safely on, a brief test is carried out with a hydrometer which “probably isn’t that accurate, because I’ve smashed the end off of it,” and the brew is ready to be shut in a cupboard and wrapped in a duvet to keep the temperature up. In a week’s time it’ll be ready to bottle, and then in another week’s time it’ll be ready to sup on at the tasty price of 35p a pint.

So it’s far from glamourous, and it requires a certain level of commitment. As Malcolm says: “It can take two weeks of investment before you know what’s happened and if it’s going to be any good... but then students do have plenty of time.” Plenty of time, hardly any money, and a healthy thirst. Time to clear some room in the cupboard.

ALBA HOMEBREW, 6 VIEWFORTH, EDINBURGH; INN HOUSE BREWERY, 736 DUMBARTON ROAD, GLASGOW

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05/09/2012 14:15

HANGIN' TOUGH So, you scamp, you’ve overdone it and now need to make it through the day in one piece. Of course, we’re happy to help...

WORDS: ROWENA MCINTOSH HANGOVERS AND student life go hand in hand. Many new undergraduates will claim to “not get hangovers,” a statement that will be met with a knowing shake of the head. Trust us, once you've discovered a taste for White Lightning and spent a night drinking the suspicious-brand vodka sold at student club nights, you WILL get a hangover.

The first thing you need to do when waking up is take on some fluid. Your chosen beverage

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could be anything; Irn Bru from a glass bottle, banana milkshake, value lemonade with a Berocca dissolved in it. You’ve years to find your favourite tipple; you need your hangover cure NOW. Secondly, you need your hangover attire. The club hoodies they hand out in Freshers' week, while questionable fashion choices in normal life, are excellent for this, as they helpfully shout: “Hey, look! Here walks a hungover person.”

Once you’ve taken on fluids, donned your cloak and figured out how your legs work, gather last night’s revellers and head somewhere to feed your hangover. In Edinburgh, the Red Squirrel on Lothian Road does excellent burgers and claims to offer “Edinburgh's Best Breakfast.” It’s not for

the faint-hearted, as it includes everything a good fry up should and more, but it will get the job done.

In Dundee, Dukes Corner on Brown Street does gourmet, veggie and alternative burgers, several of which are included in their bargain 'Feed Me For A Fiver' deal. In Glasgow, Hillhead Bookclub off Byres Road does an amazing brunch menu including chunky pancakes and funky soft drinks, including coke floats.

In these comfy bars you can recover and piece together last night’s antics.

The only problem is as these places all serve alcohol your recovery strategy might descend into another session, and another hangover, but at least you’ll know where to come back to work it off.

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05/09/2012 14:13

THE FASHION CLUB Student fashion is a broad church, so we asked illustrator Oona Brown to interpret some of its looks. If you’ve never seen the Breakfast Club, then a lot of this will be lost on you. And yes, those are cats...

WORDS: PETER SIMPSON ILLUSTRATION: OONA BROWN AND JESS COPSEY THE YAH Frequently seen lolloping around the nicer parts of town, the Yahs wear their puffy Jack Wills jackets and Barbour gilets with pride in all weathers. No jeans for these folk, they prefer 'jeggings.' ‘Jeggings,’ for the uninitiated, are a hybrid of jeans and leggings, and are just as pointless as they sound. The outfit is topped off with a nice pair of wooly UGG boots (other brands of poncy and overpriced footwear are available). All this wool, polyester and general puffiness explains why the Yah always has its hair up in a bun, as they must be slowly cooking underneath all that clothing.

THE ART STUDENT The Art Student is at art school, and they are living the dream.

This is reflected in their ideal look, where they burst through town with four feet of hair flying off into all directions. The Art Student believes that they’re living the bohemian high life, in a land of high fashion and exotic looks.

Unfortunately, the Art Student lives in Partick. A victim of circumstance, the Art Student plows on regardless, and tries in vain to bring art to the masses. That is why they are wearing a vintage dress covered in leaves.

THE SPORTY ONE You’ll know this one straight away. Simply follow this checklist and you’ll know if you’ve got a Sporty One on your hands.

A hoodie emblazoned with a helpful logo which lets you know which sports team they’re in – check. A pair of manky tracksuit bottoms covered in grass stains, worn to help you ascertain that they’re on the way to do more sport – check. The kind of dayglo, technologically-advanced super-trainers that only an athlete or a 12-year-old child would wear – check.

THE UNION RAT The pastelshirted perma17-year-old that never leaves the union pool table, whose fashion choices have adapted to their habitat. The clothes combine casual lunchtime-down-the-union chic with a smarter, night-out-atthe-union edge. You might say that this is just a more slovenly version of the ‘professional footballer off down the pub’ look seen in town centres everywhere, and that these people are just spending all their time in the student union dressed like extras from a Lynx advert. Well... yeah.

THE MATURE STUDENT The Mature Student is here to study. No more, no less. The life of all-night parties, loose sexual morals and casual traffic cone abuse is not for them. They want you to know they are serious about study, and have calculated that their fashion choices will impact on the opinion of those who matter. Therefore, their buttons are buttoned, their jackets are utilitarian and stark, their colours are demure and workmanlike, and most of them have glasses on.

No bells and whistles, unless you count either a well-thumbed copy of the appropriate reading material for the upcoming class or a scowl as fashion accessories.

THE HIPSTER You can try to analyse, but you just wouldn’t get it. Bits of wood are cool, just deal with it, lamewad. Hipsters squeeze into jeans that would make Morph uncomfortable, style their hair with a mixture of hair gel and steel wool, and dress exclusively in T-shirts from obscure Japanese designers. But we’re dealing with student hipsters, so things are a bit different.

Student hipsters’ hair is a tatty mess, their jeans aren’t skinny but just ill-fitting, and they own two Threadless t-shirts because they can’t be bothered to go and collect them from the post office and pay the VAT charges. Oh, and no beards. Obviously.

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05/09/2012 12:09

COMING OUT AS STR AIGHT: A GUIDE TO STUDENT SEXUALITY Our Deviance ed has a few hints on how to keep things running smoothly with your new-found cohabitants.

The cliff notes version; be honest with them WORDS: ANA HINE ILLUSTRATION: OONA BROWN AND JESS COPSEY

SO YOU’VE unpacked your clothes and your sex toys. The spines of your new textbooks are not yet cracked. Pots and pans are sitting in your empty allocated cupboard still in their clingfilm and cardboard. It’s been a couple of days since you moved in with the strangers who are now your flatmates – it’s time to come out. Do it now before things get messy.

Tell them you’re straight. Or promiscuous. Or homophobic.

Or moralistically religious. You need to get it out there, clear the air, because you’re living together now and some of you are going to be having sex.

Is it okay, for instance, if you watch porn on the TV in the living room? Do you want your flatmate to come home to find you having a wank on the communal sofa?

Broach it as you take the bubblewrap off the remote.

What about one-night-stands?

It’s worth drawing up a list of rules. Maybe your flatmates don’t mind people staying in your room, but would prefer not to walk into the kitchen and see your fling making breakfast in their underwear. Discuss it.

A lot of the problems and tensions caused by sex are actually

problems of communication.

Your flatmate doesn’t want your boyfriend hanging around eating all the bread because they’re a virgin and you’re making them jealous. Or they’re secretly gay.

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Or they can hear you both having sex through the wall and it makes them awkward. It’s a better idea to be open from the start, rather than to have things like that fester.

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“Do you want your flatmate to come home to find you having a wank on the communal sofa? Broach it as you take the bubblewrap off the remote”

I didn’t come out to my flatmates until they cornered me and asked if the girl sleeping in my room was, possibly, my girlfriend.

I should have just said over dinner a week or so after we’d moved in: “By the way I may be bringing people of all genders here for casual sex, hope that’s okay?”

In that case it was. If it isn’t okay not talking about it isn’t going to make it better. A lot of the time prejudice is just a lack of familiarity.

The thing is not to make a big announcement about it. Being a lesbian, or a dominatrix, or polyamorous doesn’t make you special – it makes you pretty normal actually. You have a sexual orientation, a sex life. That’s cool, most people do (though it’s also perfectly okay not to be particularly interested in sex as well).

This doesn’t just apply to freshers or gay people, this is basic

new flatmates etiquette. Longdistance relationship? Remember that your flatmates may not enjoy walking into the living room and suddenly being beamed half-way across the globe. Have a little ‘I’m on Skype’ sign or do it in your room. Long-term relationship?

When your flatmates signed up to live with you they may not also have signed up to live with your partner. Promiscious? Kinky?

Conservative? Working in the sex industry? Why not just be open about it from the start?

If it helps, leave this article around with a note on it saying, “I’m a bit of a noisy shagger, hope we can make it work.” Trust me, your flatmates would prefer you told them, while there’s still time to get out of the lease.

Buy high quality, limited edition prints by seven Scottish artists from just £10 a month.

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Mandala 2 by Good Wives and Warriors, 60cm x 80cm, £150

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THE SKINNY ON TOUR We may cover Scottish culture, but that's not to say The Skinny doesn't get around. Here's a selection of shots from the past year; if you're off on any adventures then be sure to pack your copy and send us a snap at competitions@theskinny.co.uk

IN PARIS WITH OUR YOUNGEST FAN

EN ROUTE TO TRANSMUSICALES

VISITING THE POPE IN AVIGNON

HONEYMOONING IN IN CUBA

PROTESTING IN LONDON

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TANGOED IN PORTUGAL

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AUTUMN IN BERLIN

TANGOING IN BUENOS AIRES

THE BUMP'S NOW A BABY CALLED RUBY

ZANY TIMES IN AMSTERDAM

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05/09/2012 12:10

Courses and drop-in classes in world-class studios

dance like nobody’s watching 20% off with student ID dancebase.co.uk I 0131 225 5525 14 –16 Grassmarket, Edinburgh EH1 2JU

Charity no: SC022512

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05/09/2012 12:10

LIVE MUSIC HIGHLIGHTS We stuck with newcomers in our Scottish music guide earlier, but here are a couple of our favorite bands who are coming to a city near you soon.

If you can't make the gigs, theskinny.co.uk will keep you up to speed

15. EMINEM 16. DAVID BYRNE 17. ELLIOTT SMITH 18. EXETER 19. BOB POLLARD (GUIDED BY VOICES) 20. BRIAN MAY

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THE TWILIGHT SAD, 15 DEC, GLASGOW BARROWLANDS

7. ECONOMICS 8. TEACHING 9. DAN SNAITH (CARIBOU) 10. GRIMES 11. KANYE WEST 12. GALAXIE 500 13. SUSAN BOYLE 14. THE BEATLES

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PHOTO: EUAN ROBERTSON

ERRORS, 13 OCT, ELECTRIC CIRCUS, EDINBURGH

1. ANNE BANCROFT, DUSTIN HOFFMAN 2. D:REAM 3. GARTH BROOKS 4. THE OFFSPRING 5. A COMMA BETWEEN THE FINAL ITEMS IN A LIST, OFTEN PRECEDING THE WORD `AND’ OR `OR.’ 6. DUNDEE

PHOTO: KENNY MCCOLL

IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR FINBARR'S QUIZ ANSWERS, TURN THIS PAGE UPSIDE DOWN...

STUDENT HANDBOOK 2012-2013 THE SKINNY 47

05/09/2012 12:11

CRYSTAL BAWS

Meet our resident Astrologer Mystic Mark WORDS: MYSTIC MARK ILLUSTRATORS: OONA BROWN AND JESS COPSEY

ARIES

your time. Inside the dark, enclosed space you can let your imagination take flight, whether it’s imagining that you’re in a lift, a box or simply in a different wardrobe. You can spend an entire term engaging in these flights of fancy, on an adventure holiday inside the mind of you.

As Venus enters your sign you tell your physics professor about the role planets play in our daily lives according to the Zodiac. Shaking his head he corrects you, informing you about the role physics actually plays; how one cosmic body can be drawn to another with an irresistible force. He then goes on to explain in close detail how the hydraulic motion of one body slapping repeatedly against another can help it pass its exams.

grew up with on your estate turn up at the graveside for a ceremony of their own. Don’t worry, the orange pile of tits that was your first love soon finds a way to cope, her enormous face crying into the nylon shoulder of your best pal Tozza.

After snorting pills and downing a bottle or two of White Ace they make love on your grave so they can have something to remember you by, draping the slimy, used Durex on your headstone as a rancid requiem.

TAURUS

GEMINI

In the story of Willy Wonka and his Magical Narcotics Factory, you would be Augustus Gloop, uncontrollably sucking up different flavours of drugs through a pipe before falling into the river of gear.

Instead of drowning in chocolate or drugs however, you drown in your own vomit at the bottom of a stairwell this September. In October your fat parents cry and eat all the way through your rain-sodden, barely-attended funeral. Later, the tracksuit-clad Oompa Loompas you

The next four years are going to be the best and most awful days of your life. The walls that hold you will see you fight, fuck and finger-bang your way through months of tedious education. When this nasty degree business is all out of the way, those walls, if they could speak, would utter only judgemental obscenities.

As a traditional hunter and sign of the Lion, you are on high-alert for movement and can often be distracted from your school work by string or laser pens. By day you sleep beneath the tree in your local prairie or ‘park’ awaiting your Lioness to return with food and booze. Born and bred in the outdoors, for you, city living is like being trapped in a zoo. You pace up and down your kitty litter-covered flat occasionally punching the wall and roaring out of the window at passing traffic.

CANCER

VIRGO

Thirsty for knowledge, fizzy drinks and new experiences, the wardrobe is where you like to spend most of

After holding out all the way through college, you plan to finally lose your virginity en-masse

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LEO

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at university, lubing up to spend four years Y-shaped under legions of inexperienced young scholars half-heartedly filling your vagina with entire knobs-worth of DNA. But you’re careful to keep some of your chastity unfucked, making a point of saving your bum virginity for your wedding night. That way it will be special.

LIBRA You never worry about letting people know exactly what you think of them. Whether it’s the size of their face, the fact their dad can’t swim or that you think their newborn looks like a 9-day-old balloon animal. You will give it to people straight and nasty, and if they don’t like it, well they can just die in an unexplained accident like everybody else.

SCORPIO Don’t fool yourself. In the Halls of Residence the walls are so thin everyone can hear you having

sex, so you might as well put on a performance. Make it sound like you’ve opened up an abattoir in there, and are quite successful in this new venture.

SAGITTARIUS Your ruling planet is Mercury, which means you are covered in craters caused by greasy asteroid burgers repeatedly colliding with your digestive system. Volcanically-active pores of grease erupt all over your fleshy surface from your core of super-dense pus.

CAPRICORN A few months after you left for University, having received no phone calls and wracked with worry, your poor little mother decides to check your Facebook page. Booting up the family PC, she plugs in the dusty cables and dials up the internet while sipping cocoa from her ‘World’s Sweetest Mum’ mug. Sadly, because you accidentally set all your

privacy settings to ‘public’ she ends up discovering the full horror of what her golden child has become outside the nest. The realisation hits her like a brontosaurus with AIDS taking a massive diseased shit on a precious little flower.

AQUARIUS Like the sea, you devour men beneath your vast surface.

PISCES Due to excessive student fees and mismanaged budgets you’ll likely have to spend the majority of your post-degree lifespan performing unpaid labour in one of David Cameron’s new Job Camps. “Work shall set you free,” the screw informs you heartily, pointing towards the call centre cubicle for you to take a seat beside your malnourished colleagues.

YOU CAN READ MYSTIC MARK'S DIRE PREDICTIONS IN EVERY ISSUE OF THE SKINNY WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/THEMYSTICMARK TWITTER: @MYSTIC_MARK

22ND -23RD

SEPTEMBER

www.stjamesshopping.com www.theskinny.co.uk

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THE WEIRD AND WONDERFUL WORLD OF STUDENT SOCIETIES Student societies are a central part of the university experience, but there are a lot of them to get through. We’ve prepared this short guide to some of the odder ones to help you on your way WORDS: PETER SIMPSON ONE OF the things about student life is that it doesn’t involve a great deal of actual studying.

Sure, there are lectures to ignore and tutorials in which to avoid all eye contact, but the fact is you are going to have a lot of free time. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with sitting in your pants all day playing the Xbox and abusing your flatmates with blasts of Japanese death metal, there may come a time when outside contact or new, untainted chums are in order,

and that’s where the societies come in. There are societies for everything, from sports to subjects, but you’re an individual.

You need a society that speaks to your carefully-crafted uni persona, while enabling you to meet people who don’t know about that thing you do with your nose.

Well we’ve done some digging, and we may have some help for you, provided that you are a free spirit, up for a new challenge, or completely mental.

SPORT It goes without saying that fans of the running-and-kicking sports are well-served by Scotland’s universities, but there’s more to the world of amateur sport than a series of glorified egg chases by overly-aggressive men in questionable shorts.

Take Ultimate Frisbee, for example. A fun, quirky and unisex sport that combines all the goal-based drama of football with the treacherous hilarity of a large plastic disc being

THE SKINNY IS LOOKING FOR A NEW STAFF WRITER The Skinny seeks a staff writer to work with us creating bespoke content for our print and online editions. Supported and mentored by Stuart Cosgrove, the writer bursary is a unique opportunity designed to provide a supportive structure for an emerging cultural journalist to develop their skills in a fast-changing media environment.

We’re looking for a talented writer with a passion for subjects across the cultural spectrum, seeking to develop their journalistic skills within an established media company. They will possess a working knowledge of a variety of the areas commonly covered by The Skinny (music, art, film, books, theatre,

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etc) and will be prepared to engage in research to increase their knowledge of a subject as and when it is required. An awareness of formatting for online, of working with content management systems and embedding multimedia content would also be beneficial.

Deadline: 1 October 2012 This is a paid role.

Starting date – 09/2012 Full details can be found at; www.theskinny.co.uk/about/ get_involved

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thrown at head-height, Ultimate Frisbee is played by university societies in Edinburgh, Glasgow and Dundee. You don’t need football boots, you’ll feel like a cool surfer chap even though it’s February and about four degrees outside, and – to reiterate – you will probably get to see people hit in the head with a frisbee.

If you like to keep your activitybased injuries to yourself, then Juggling might be more up your street. Edinburgh, Glasgow and Dundee universities all feature societies that will teach you how to toss items in the air and return them to Earth without hitting yourself in the face. A good workout for the upper body and hand-eye coordination, the skills a Juggling society can help you with could prove vital in the fields of high-stakes student halls Xbox tournaments, and crowded dive bars where everyone else appears to have four elbows and are celebrating the fact by waving them all in different directions.

And if you fancy a way to keep

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fit and make friends while trying to drown, then the Strathclyde University Wakeboarding society are the people to speak to. A cool name (StrathWake), an intriguing and exciting activity (standing on a surfboard while being hauled along by a boat) and a host of exciting pub anecdotes (see previous point) await you.

“Juggling skills can help you in crowded dive bars where everyone else appears to have four elbows, and are celebrating the fact by waving them all in different directions”

FOOD AND DRINK Student life involves many facets that may be new and alien to you, and having to think about your food is one of them. No longer shall you be simply cramming your gullet with whatever happens to be sitting in front of you. That is unless you live in catered halls of residence. In which case, cram away. Anyway, you’re going to have to take more of an interest in your food, and societies can help.

Take the Edinburgh University Beer Society, who can teach you that there’s more to a pint than mild disappointment and the faint odour of cleaning fluid and mouldy bread. Weekly meetings, regular tasting sessions with local brewers, and the odd crazy piss-up should help you grasp a bit more about beer, and allow you to be the member of your friend group who knows ‘the good pubs.’

Or there’s SocieTea, the Edinburgh University Tea Society.

If you love a nice cuppa and have

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a kind and charitable heart, then SocieTea’s mix of meetings and fund-raising will fill some time very nicely indeed. And if you like clever wordplay then you, my dear student chum, are in for a treat. To quote them directly: “Come oolong to one of our fantastic meeteaings, it’s sure to be assam.”

Societies exist for almost every whim, fancy and hobby you can think of, but here are two that surprised even us: The Glasgow University Cheese Society, and SUBAC. SUBAC is, wait for it, the Strathclyde University Bacon Appreciation Society. If you like witty conversation about cheese or bacon, wish to make some new friends with whom you share a common interest in cheese or bacon, or simply long for a forum to discuss your love of cheese or bacon, then those options are yours to take. And to think that some people say students have too much free time...

‘OTHER’ Strangely, this guide to the oftenbizarre world of student societies has not concluded with the bacon people. That’s because no niche is too small for the student bodies of our proud universities.

Take the act of Bell Ringing, for example. Pealing isn’t the kind of activity that the average person can really get involved in; for one thing, you need your own church to practice in. Yet the University of Edinburgh Guild of Change Ringers (catchy name if nothing else) can assist the wannabe pealists among the students of Edinburgh, ringing church bells, teaching and practising the correct techniques to make the bell go ding, and augmenting the ringing with regular trips down the pub.

Bells aren’t your thing? What about murder? And mystery?

Or a combination of the two?

The Murder Mystery Society at Edinburgh University give their members a list of ‘targets’ for a given night, and task them with

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offing them all whilst avoiding suspicion, all while cutting about in lovely costumes. They also run writing workshops so that you can decide who will be stabbed repeatedly in the back while doing the dishes. In the words of the Society, you can “meet people, kill them, then relax in the pub afterwards.” Lovely.

And if that doesn’t excite you, then maybe you need to take your seat in the Parliament of Oceana. One of Glasgow Uni’s oldest societies, the Parliament is a giant sort of political roleplaying game where members take on responsibility for different areas of a completely fictional country. They discuss completely fictional railway lines! They argue over town planning in a place that doesn’t exist! If you love your fantasy RPGs, but feel as though sunlight and human interaction are essential parts of the student experience, then this society is definitely for you. You can see why we didn’t end on the bacon people now, can’t you? www.theskinny.co.uk

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Skinny_Student_Handbook_DF Concerts 31/08/2012 16:04 Page 2

DF CONCERTS & EVENTS PRESENTS… DF CONCERTS & EVENTS PRESENTS… DF CONCERTS & EVENTS PRESENTS… IN ASSOCIATION WITH PCL

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O2 ABC GLASGOW WED 12TH SEPTEMBER

THE ALBUM “HOT CAKES’’.

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SUNDAY 14TH OCTOBER + WE ARE THE IN CROWD + YOUR DEMISE + MARMOZETS

WWW.WEAREYOUNGGUNS.COM THE ALBUM BONES IN STORES NOW VIA PIAS RECORDINGS. FACEBOOK.COM/YOUNGGUNSUK TWITTER.COM/ YOUNGGUNSUKPIASRECORDINGS.COM

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SUNDAY 25TH NOVEMBER

PLUS GUESTS

SATURDAY 10TH NOVEMBER (ALL ALONG THE) WATCHTOWER’ FEAT. ED SHEERAN OUT NOW OFFICIALDEVLIN.COM STAR OF CHAPPELLE’S SHOW UK COMEDY TOUR DEBUT!

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O2 ABC GLASGOW SUN 16TH SEPT New album Strange Clouds out now www.bobatl.com

CHARLIE MURPHY THE ACID TRIP TOUR

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For tickets call: 08444 999 990 or online: www.gigsinscotland.com www.ticketmaster.co.uk

Follow gigsinscotland on twitter @gigscot

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EDINBURGH FOOD & DRINK 1. BOW BAR The favourite bar of Skinny readers in our Food and Drink Survey this year, the Bow Bar is the perfect antidote to the stag and heninfested pubs of the other end of the Grassmarket. Dark wood, big windows and a huge array of ales and whiskies make the Bow a perfect choice for a pint and a sit-down, with a nice food menu if you fancy making an evening of it.

80 WEST BOW 0131 226 7667

2. JOSEPH PEARCE’S By day, Joseph Pearce’s is a relaxed Swedish café on Leith Walk with free Wi-Fi, top-notch coffee, home-style food and kooky decor. By night it's a bohemian bar with a great mixed crowd, powered by aquavitbased cocktails and Swedish cider. Entertainment comes from the regular art exhibitions, live music, DJ sets, and a weekly jogging club.

23 ELM ROW 0131 556 4140

3. BRASS MONKEY In the heart of the student-centric Southside, Brass Monkey blends reasonable prices and a great location with a truly unique atmosphere. Much of that atmosphere comes from the mini-cinema in the back room, packed as it is with comfy mattresses and enormous cushions. Daily films at 3pm make this a great place to while away the hours between lectures, with a vibe that might make you reluctant to leave.

14 DRUMMOND ST 0131 556 1961

4. BRAUHAUS Brauhaus offers more beers than you ever thought existed, and when Oktoberfest rolls around their selection grows even bigger. The staff know their stuff too, and will happily talk you through the imposing folder of delights on offer.

A polite word of warning, though: some of these beers are stronger than your average pint of Tennents, so check the numbers before picking the beer with the funny name.

105 LAURISTON PL 0131 629 5434

6. VILLAGER A typically trendy bar/restaurant, with enormous fans in the ceiling and robots on the walls, Villager is a great shout for nightopening drinks. The outrageous cocktail list with its Anchorman quotes is spellbinding, and the humble glass of water with your drink features watermelon, mint and cucumber. When that much attention goes on the tap water, you’re in the right kind of place.

49 GEORGE IV BRIDGE 0131 226 2781

7. HOLYROOD 9A A fantastic venue for trying out rare brews from all over the world, Holyrood 9A has over twenty such nectars available from the pumps, as well as a hearty wine, spirit and cocktail selection. Add in the lo-fi decor and a varied menu of locallysourced pub grub and this is the perfect alternative when you can no longer face the Pleasance bar.

5. BLUE BLAZER The Blue Blazer is a traditional Edinburgh pub, in the best possible sense of the term. Boasting one of the finest selections of real ales, whiskies and rums in Edinburgh, the Blue Blazer’s knowledgeable and friendly bar staff welcome grizzled regulars and beardy art students alike.

Former Edinburgh Pub of the Year, The Blazer’s cosy fire, wooden pews, and small back room offer a happy Tollcross hang-out for all comers.

9A HOLYROOD RD 0131 556 5054

2 SPITTAL ST 0131 229 5030

21 LOTHIAN RD 0131 229 9933

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8. RED SQUIRREL Stablemate of Holyrood 9A, the Red Squirrel sets out the same stall; a huge range of craft and small-batch beers, all the bar food favourites executed perfectly, and a comfy and understated decor. Next door to HMV Picturehouse, so perfect for a few pre-gig drinks, and another example of Lothian Road being much nicer than it used to be.

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9. UNDER THE STAIRS Easily missed if you don’t know it’s there, Under The Stairs is exactly that – a comfy little bar/ café tucked under the stairs on Merchant Street. With wooden floors, exposed brickwork, ever-changing exhibitions and mis-matched comfy armchairs and sofas, it manages to show off shabby hipster chic and homely coziness all at once.

3A MERCHANT ST 0131 466 8550

10. BREWDOG Stripped-back brick walls and comfy couches make for a great setting in which to settle and start exploring the Fraserburgh craft giant's vast collection.

There are almost eighty bottled beers packing out the fridges, plus five BrewDog draughts and at least as many guest ales. If The Skinny Student you get carried away with their Scrabble board or Pop-Up Pirate

and lose track of time, there’s pizza, cheese and meat boards all served until closing time.

143 COWGATE 0131 220 6517

11. THE TOURMALET With its bright exterior and cycling-themed decoration, the Tourmalet is a hidden gem just off Leith Walk. The staff are warm and friendly, the atmosphere is laid-back, and the punters run the full gamut from New Leith hipsters to Old Leith workers. A mention too for the Ventoux, a second outpost from the same folk, located in Tollcross.

25 BUCHANAN ST 0131 467 7107

12. THE LINKS Overlooking Bruntsfield Links, this bar has been through more recent facelifts than a well-known Handbook Stagecoach.eps 29/08/2012 actress whose name we’ve chosen to remove. Still, when it

comes to a nice spot for sitting in the (occasional) Edinburgh sun with a reasonably-priced pint between lectures, there aren’t many better places to be, and if the weather betrays you then the interior isn’t bad either.

4 ALVANLEY TER 0131 229 3834

13. ARTISAN ROAST We once heard someone compare the Artisan baristas to die hard Star Wars fans – saying their detailed knowledge of one subject is straddling the limits of what is socially acceptable.

Well yes, Artisan Roast is serious about its coffee, but for that you will be very grateful as you sip a sumptuous chilli mocha or one of the best flat whites Edinburgh has to offer. If you aren't, then you clearly belong to the dark side.

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57 BROUGHTON ST 0795 635 5054

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14. BLACK MEDICINE COFFEE CO. This creatively decked-out cafe just past the Bridges offers lovely wooden tables, a huge variety of delicious smoothies, cakes and munchable lunch treats. Oh, and the coffee is great, naturally.

Free water, newspapers, a ‘speed bench’ for those who just need an espresso and a blast of the wi-fi and fanciable staff mean that this place is filled with students and real folk alike.

17. PETER’S YARD Forget those IKEA meatballs, Peter’s Yard is the place to go for some proper Swedish treats. This artisan bakery, café and deli in the newish Quartermile development off the Meadows is a haven for foodies. It is a touch pricey, but the bread in their sandwiches is made in a wood-fired oven on site, they make their own ice cream, and their outside terrace actually catches the sun.

20. THE DOGS Specialising in doing things a bit differently from the opposition, The Dogs is a great alternative to some of the more expensive joints elsewhere in the New Town.

The ‘different’ angle extends to the furniture and even the forks, but the food sticks resolutely to its guns. It’s modern British cooking all the way, and it’s well worth a look.

110 HANOVER ST 0131 220 1208

27 SIMPSON LOAN 0131 228 5876 2 NICHOLSON ST 0131 557 6269

15. THE ELEPHANT HOUSE A welcome get-away from the bustle of the Royal Mile, the Elephant House is a large sunny cafe with a view of the Castle. It boasts that it is “the birthplace of Harry Potter,” which explains the endless stream of confused Japanese tourists outside, but its actual customers range from said tourists to students to genuine writers, all of whom add to the relaxed vibe.

18. LOVECRUMBS The ‘pubic triangle’ behind the Art College might not be the first place you’d think to go for cake and a chat, but then Lovecrumbs is one of those places that defies sense. An inventive cake menu that changes by the day, tables made from old pianos, and a literal window seat give Lovecrumbs an anarchic air that turns the act of meeting a friend for coffee between classes into an adventure.

21 GEORGE IV BRIDGE 0131 220 5355

155 WEST PORT 0131 629 0626

16. KILIMANJARO Wedged between some of the best charity shops in the city, Kilimanjaro is the perfect place to analyse your new wooly jumper and unmarked vinyl records over a cappuccino. Award-winning coffee, well-worn wooden chairs and comfy leather sofas, and a great selection of freshly-made cakes and sandwiches mean that Kili well deserves its reputation as one of Edinburgh’s top cafes.

21. MUMS This retro diner is the ultimate place for comfort food. A whole range of twists on bangers and mash, pies, burgers and milkshakes can save you from the fiercest of Tuesday afternoon hangovers. And unlike real mums they won’t pull a passiveaggressive scowl when you leave your veg, or even ask for help with the dishes.

4A FORREST RD 0131 260 9806

19. MOSQUE KITCHEN The mythic brilliance of the Southside’s Mosque Kitchen is a very poorly kept secret amongst Edinburgh’s student population. Some of that air has gone since the Kitchen moved indoors (the pigeons and wind added a unique ambience to proceedings), but the curries remain top-notch and staggeringly cheap. Frequently hailed as one of Edinburgh’s best curry houses, the Mosque Kitchen is also easily among its cheapest.

33 NICHOLSON ST 0131 667 4035

104 NICHOLSON ST 0131 662 0135

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22. ILLEGAL JACK’S Illegal Jack’s is a simple beast; go on a weekday lunchtime, head to the counter, select the filling for your monstrously large burrito, hand over a fiver, and grab a drink on the way to your seat. This Tex-Mex joint serves up tasty grub in a canteen-style atmosphere, and the speed of service combined with the plentiful seating means that tasty but messy Mexican goodness is never more than minutes away.

113 LOTHIAN RD 0131 622 7499

23. FAVORIT A classy bar-restaurant with a 3am license, Favorit lends a continental vibe to the student booze gauntlet of Bristo Square.

As popular for its wide range of speciality beers as for its tasty savoury menu, Favorit is an ideal haunt for friendly catch-ups, romantic rendezvous or, should you choose to take advantage of its pavement tables, a quiet solo luncheon of people-watching joy.

25. WANNABURGER Wannaburger serve arguably the best burgers in the city, and certainly offer the most bang for your buck. Locally-sourced meat is the key to Wannaburger’s success, and their ludicrously tasty milkshakes just add to the appeal. As does the modern design, and the hard-to-find American sport on the telly. Oh, and the 15% student discount helps as well.

19 TEVIOT PL 0131 220 6880

8 QUEENSFERRY ST 0131 220 0036

24. VITTORIA One of the few Edinburgh landmarks without its own postcard, Vittoria’s is a genuine institution. The seating areas outside feel a bit optimistic for these climes, but punters at the restaurants on Leith Walk and George IV Bridge aren’t going to let that stop them. Vittoria is the place to go when the ‘rents are in town, with great Italian food, reasonable prices and waiters who can liven up even the most stilted of evenings.

26. CHOP CHOP Cheap, cheerful and charming Chinese food that more than lives up to the growing hype and endorsements from angry celebrity chefs. Their entire menu is made, from scratch, on the premises – it comes across in the food, but isn’t reflected in the student-friendly prices. Fast becoming a brilliantly unpretentious local legend, with some of the best dumplings this side of the Great Wall.

27. NEGOCIANTS The student’s best friend, Negociants serves up plentiful and delicious pub grub well into the night. The outside seating area has a canopy to protect from the elements, and the prices were clearly worked out with a student’s bank balance in mind. A good shout for lunch, dinner or drinks, or all three, especially if you can nab one of the wingback armchairs.

45 LOTHIAN ST 0131 225 6313

28. KAMPUNG ALI MALAYSIA DELIGHT A mouthful of a name, and the food lives up to it. Just yards from the Napier University student halls, delicious and authentic Malaysian fare is on offer in a laid-back atmosphere.

The interior needs something of a refresh with some of the Roman murals belying the building’s previous life as an Italian restaurant, but that’ll be the last thing on your mind as you work your way through the vast and authentic menu.

101 FOUNTAINBRIDGE 0131 228 5069

248 MORRISON ST 0131 221 1155 113 BRUNSWICK ST 0131 556 6171 19 GEORGE IV BRIDGE 0131 225 1740

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EDINBURGH CULTURE 1. THE STAND COMEDY CLUB It might not look like much from the basement steps outside, but The Stand is the undisputed permanent residence of Edinburgh comedy. The schedule is always packed with big-name comedians as well as up-and-comers, and their Red Raw beginners’ night is the place to go for undiscovered and brand-new talent, or to try your hand yourself if you’re feeling saucy.

5 YORK PL 0131 558 7272

2. THE PLAYHOUSE The Playhouse is the Edinburgh outpost of London’s West End, playing host to touring theatre and musicals, as well as enormo-gigs from the likes of Dara O’Briain and Dylan Moran.

Student matinee prices and a healthy number of cheap seats

make it a reasonable option when you tire of the clubs, and its location in the heart of town means that skipping all the way home after Mary Poppins is eminently doable.

3. BEDLAM An entirely student-run operation and home to Edinburgh Uni’s excellent improv comedy group, this ramshackle but endearing space hosts some seriously classy student drama, with performances greedily gobbling up star-streaked reviews and award-nominations during Festival time. It’s also home to Bedlam’s in-house ‘Fat Cat’ café, a chilled space wallpapered in old theatre memorabilia, with mismatched wooden tables and squishy armchairs in which to sample some of the best homebaking in town.

18 GREENSIDE PL 0131 524 3333 11B BRISTO PL 0131 225 9893

STUDENT AMBASSADORS WANTED!

The Skinny is looking for enthusiastic and passionate people to represent our brand as a Student Ambassador within your University or College.

You will become part of The Skinny community and assist us in a number of tasks across our different platforms. Aside from working with Scotland’s largest entertainment and listings magazine you will also be privy to exclusive Skinny arranged events and parties. Oh and of course it will be something good to add to your CV.

For more information and job description please visit theskinny.co.uk/about/get_involved

To apply please send a CV and cover letter to jobs@theskinny. co.uk explaining why you would like to be a Student Ambassador for The Skinny, specifically highlighting your interests, what talents you can bring to such a role and the University or College you attend.

Deadline for application: 24 September

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4. CAMEO CINEMA As noted for its atmosphere and period charm as for its varied programming, the Cameo screens a whole host of mainstream hits, arthouse fare and cult classics across its three screens. The cosy bar and homely foyer give the place a glow of old-school movie magic, and their student tickets are some of the cheapest around.

Look out for their all-night horror marathons, one-off music screenings and the regular film quiz.

7. TRAVERSE THEATRE Widely considered to be the top writing theatre in Scotland, ‘The Trav’ is the place to go for exciting new productions by the country’s best theatrical talent. As well as producing, Traverse plays host to a whole range of visiting theatre groups, and runs regular workshops and Q&A sessions for those of you looking for a bit of inspiration or advice on your journey to theatrical stardom.

10. FRUITMARKET GALLERY The Fruitmarket Gallery is hard to miss, as you tend not to see too many all-pink buildings in the Old Town. It’s just as well, as missing out on the world-class contemporary art, compact but well-stocked shop and brilliant downstairs cafe just wouldn’t be right. With free exhibitions taking in everything from painting to light installations, the Fruitmarket isn’t just hard to miss but difficult to get away from.

10 CAMBRIDGE ST 0131 228 3223 38 HOME ST 0131 228 2800

5. DOMINION CINEMA In the student suburb of Morningside, this family-run cinema blends Hollywood fare with nostalgic pomp and circumstance. It can seem a little on the pricey side, but it’s well worth checking out for two reasons; the outrageously comfy leather seats, and the complimentary snacks rolled into the ticket price. A far cry from your average multiplex.

45 MARKET ST 0131 225 2383

8. THE ROYAL LYCEUM THEATRE With a look and feel that takes you back to the golden age of theatre, the Lyceum hosts companies from across Europe as well as putting on eight of their own shows a year. Nestled alongside the Traverse and behind the Usher Hall, the grand old theatre offers student tickets from just a tenner, keeping the glamour and drama well within the student price range.

18 NEWBATTLE TER 0131 447 4771

11. SUPERCLUB An artist-led gallery that doubles as a working studio, Superclub is one of the best places to go to get a handle on the Edinburgh art scene. Their independent approach, coupled with the wide range of art that they promote, make the Superclub gang one of the most broad-ranging art groups around. When you’re done looking at the art, take a gander at the shop to see what the rest of the art world is up to.

30 GRINDLAY ST 0131 248 4848

6. FILMHOUSE From challenging European cinema to Woody Allen and Alfred Hitchcock retrospectives, 70mm screenings of Alien to 3D showings of Pixar’s latest, the Filmhouse truly shows it all.

Their £2.60 Friday matinees are unmatched anywhere in the city, and offer students the chance to experience everything the world of cinema has to offer for less than the price of an underwhelming supermarket sandwich.

9. COLLECTIVE It’s been on the go for a quarter of a century, and Collective still looks to promote challenging and powerful visual work. With local and international art on show, Collective is always looking to bring new work to the art community’s attention, and to start a debate. If you decide that art isn’t your thing but end up there anyway, they also sell some rather funky t-shirts.

88 LOTHIAN RD 0131 228 6382

22 COCKBURN ST 0131 220 1260

11 GAYFIELD SQ 0783 490 7639

12. EDINBURGH PRINTMAKERS The clue is in the name: Edinburgh Printmakers make prints.

Besides the making and teaching of lithography to all comers, Printmakers run regular exhibitions by artists from all over. Their window into the print studio from the exhibition space gives a first hand look at the craft for any interested art students, and the shop is the place to go for ideas on elaborate parental bribes in exchange for actually studying.

23 UNION ST 0131 557 2479

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EDINBURGH MUSIC & CLUBS 1. STUDIO 24 The Studios have been around for as long as some you lot have been alive. A well-loved and eclectic venue, it’s a wee bit out of the way, but if you’re looking for something a little different then it’s well worth a look. Nights range from Balkanarama – a Balkan musical orgy (we kid you not) – to 60’s night The Go-Go with its occasional live Beatles tribute bands, and all points in between.

24 CALTON RD 0131 558 3758

2. WEE RED BAR The Wee Red Bar may be located on ECA territory, but don’t be put off by the thought of asymmetrical haircuts and awkward conversations about trips to

India, for this isn’t your average student disco. Regular fixtures include indie institution The Egg, and the brilliant monthly soul, old school rock n roll and motown night Stacks.

74 LAURISTON PL 0131 221 6000

3. THE HIVE This famously unpretentious Cowgate haunt is beloved by students of all stripes, and for good reason. It’s open every night of the week, grabs 5am licences whenever it can, and serves up everything from hip electro to chart ‘classics’ from the late 90s.

Oh, and their roaming photographers are always on the hunt for happy clubbers to plaster across their Facebook site, so you don’t

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even need to bring a camera.

3 NIDDRY ST 0131 556 0444

4. THE LIQUID ROOM Following a brief fire-enforced absence, The Liquid Room is back and better than ever. With impressive live music and clubbing credentials, The Liquid Room plays host to touring bands and DJs as well as an array of weekly club nights. The addition of a second room upstairs just adds to the fun, although you may meet recent graduates mumbling about how ‘it isn’t the same anymore.’ It isn’t; it’s better.

9C VICTORIA ST 0131 225 2564

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5. CABARET VOLTAIRE Deep in the heart of Edinburgh’s Old Town, Cab Vol is one of the city’s most iconic clubs.

A recent refit has turned the upstairs room into a trendy café and meet-up point for during the day, while downstairs retains its sweaty and cavernous glory. A new soundsystem has upped the noise level, and a range of club nights from electro to dub give the DJs a chance to put it to good use.

8. HMV PICTUREHOUSE A constant fixture on Lothian Road over the years, the Picturehouse’s latest incarnation is one of the best gig venues in the city. With a split-level floor and sprawling Art Deco balcony, it plays host to the touring bands that aren’t pulled into Glasgow’s powerful orbit. Their enormous student-friendly indie club nights which run all weekend aren’t too shabby either.

10. ELECTRIC CIRCUS Tucked away behind Waverley station, Electric Circus is an enjoyably bizarre affair: a neonlit, but simultaneously pitch-black club bar. The club space doubles up as an intimate gig venue, while the private karaoke rooms with dedicated bar staff are a birthday party waiting to happen.

A music policy that skews fairly retro just adds to the surreal fun.

36 MARKET ST 0131 226 4224

31 LOTHIAN RD 0131 221 2280

9. HENRY’S CELLAR BAR The stage is tiny, and appears to be lit solely by fairy lights. The PA is at least three times too loud.

Take a wrong turn out of the toilets and you’ll end up in the adjoining Chinese restaurant. All that said, Henry’s offers modest door charges and decent drink prices, and the kind of low-key, grassroots gigs and club nights you just won’t find elsewhere.

11. THE BONGO CLUB If you’re looking for a more avant-garde student night out, the Bongo is the place to go.

Home to everything from jungle nights to burlesque evenings to live ska gigs, Bongo fills the gaps left by the other parts of Edinburgh’s clubbing portfolio.

Somewhat off the beaten track, but once you get there you’re bound to have an interesting evening at the very least.

8 MORRISON ST 0131 221 1288

37 HOLYROOD RD 0131 558 7604

36 BLAIR ST 0131 247 4704

6. THE POTTERROW It might look like the poor relation on Bristo Square, but what it lacks in Hogwartsian charm Potterrow makes up for when you get inside. With a regular stream of live bands (of both the ‘serious’ and the ‘OMG, I thought they were all dead’ variety) and some infamous student club nights, Potterrow is the archetypal student night out. Brave the queues and mingle with your fellow scholars.

BRISTO SQ 0131 650 4673

7. THE CAVES As the name suggests, The Caves are located in hollow arches under South Bridge.

The assorted bridegrooms and vaults date back to the 1700s, and remain as striking as ever.

The Caves come to life during August for the Fringe, but are also the year-round choice of gig promoters and club nights looking for a truly unique venue with a great atmosphere.

12. SNEAKY PETE’S It’ll make your student flat seem like a palace, but what Sneaky’s lacks in area it compensates for with volume. A huge range of weekly and monthly club nights, from electro to house to funk, see the building shake with the thunderous sound and always-nearcapacity crowd. It also plays host to a whole host of up-and-comers on the gig trail, and regular night This Is Music often combines gig and club into one beautiful whole.

73 COWGATE 0131 225 1757

8 NIDDRY ST SOUTH 0131 557 8989

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GLASGOW FOOD & DRINK 1. THE BUTTERFLY AND THE PIG Going to The Butterfly and the Pig is a bit like visiting your Granny’s: the dated decor, the mismatched but incredibly comfortable couches, the ridiculously huge portions of delicious homemade food. This casual but extremely friendly bar hosts a weekly schedule of house bands, open mic nights, and a rather fine pub quiz.

153 BATH ST 0141 221 7711

2. MACSORLEY’S As the huge, white lettering on the outside of the building shows, the folk at MacSorley’s are not for subtleties. But then who needs subtlety when you have over 100 spirits behind the bar, your own house ale, and the kind of booze deals that make students feel like affluent Arab sheikhs? A music bar with a great atmosphere that’s been built on for over a century, right in the heart of town.

4. FLYING DUCK Free toast, and retro board games. Not the first two things you might imagine when conjuring up images of a student haunt, but the Flying Duck isn’t exactly a normal place. It hosts weekly life drawing classes, the cheekilytitled Oranjeboom Wednesdays film night which combine the dual pleasures of cheap Dutch beer and showings of cult films, and regular 90s-themed bingo games. Bingo, and free toast.

6. HILLHEAD BOOKCLUB One of the more bohemian Glasgow nightspots, Hillhead Bookclub ticks all the ‘hip’ boxes. Vinyl soundtrack - check.

Quirky decor - check. Eclectic range of drinks and nostalgic comfort food - check. They haven’t even named it after what it is, the blighters. Mind you, that name could come in handy when you need to tell the parents about your ‘extra studying’ - just tell ‘em you’ve been down the Bookclub.

42 JAMAICA ST 0141 248 8581

142 RENFIELD ST 0141 564 1450

3. LEBOWSKIS If you don’t get the reference, do yourself a favour and watch The Big Lebowski. If you’re still here, you’ll know that a bar called Lebowskis should specialise in one beverage in particular.

Well these guys have thought of every twist imaginable on The Dude’s favourite drink. There are an impressive array of craft beers on offer as well, but if you come here and pass up a White Russian then you’re missing the point, man.

5. IVY For a rum bar in Finnieston, the Ivy has played host to a surprisingly large selection of Glasgow’s finest DJs. LuckyMe, Codeine Drums and Numbers all regularly take to the plush set of decks tucked away at the top of the stairs. This commitment to music, along with the bar setting, make for a good option for when you feel like a night out, but can’t fully commit to it. On those nights, the Ivy will bring the party to you.

7. BLOC+ Bloc+ is the kind of place that makes Edinburgh students deeply, deeply jealous. They may have a castle and some pandas, but do they have a communistthemed cafe/bar which plays host to its own orchestra? No, no they don’t. Bloc+ is a wild and crazy place most of the time, but go down on Tuesdays for the Slow Club, with relaxing and chilled-out live music and some nice cake.

1008 ARGYLE ST 0141 564 7988

1102 ARGYLE ST 0141 337 3006

117 BATH ST 0141 574 6066

17 VINICOMBE ST 0141 576 1700

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8. BREWDOG The late-arriving sister of the Edinburgh bar, Brewdog’s Glasgow venture swaps a stag party gauntlet for a spot across from the Kelvingrove in the leafy West End. Other than that, things are much the same.

The somewhat-OTT branding remains a sticking point, but the array of beer on offer, both from Brewdog themselves and from their luminaries in the craft beer scene, make this the ideal spot for a more cultured drink after a jaunt around the museum.

1397 ARGYLE ST 0141 334 7175

9. HORSESHOE BAR Look around your living room, add up the ages of the inhabitants, and the number you come up with will still be nowhere near the age of the Horseshoe. With a history dating back to 1846, the Horseshoe provides exactly what you would expect from an elder statesman of the pub game; good beer, dark wood, slightly odd seating, and the musk of thousands of drunken weekday evenings.

11. BREL Brel is all about the beer garden.

Situated on the cobbles of Ashton Lane, Brel has an individualistic look inside, and a delightful beer garden out the back. They play host to intimate gigs in the titchy conservatory, a conservatory which can be seen from the beer garden. Seriously, the beer garden. Grab a pint and a bench, and you’ll see what we mean.

14. OFFSHORE An airy open plan cafe with one of the best views in Glasgow, Offshore is the ideal place for a bit of not-at-all-creepy people watching. As you gaze out the window at the passing Glaswegians, take advantage of the locally-sourced food menu or grab a coffee. If you grow tired of the people-watching, the basement doubles as an art gallery with regular classes.

39 ASHTON LN 0141 342 4966

3/5 GIBSON ST 0141 341 0110

12. THE HALT BAR One of the comfiest pubs in the West End, the Halt is ideal for taking shelter from winter blizzards, or for gentle outdoor boozing on a summer’s day.

The old-style Glasgow interior, decent prices, and the resident hoarde of dogs make it a difficult place to leave once inside. You’ll have to at some point as you won’t find a food menu here, but when its a choice between going out in the rain or staying in a comfy chair, grub can wait.

15. TINDERBOX From its dark entrance that belies the amount of space inside, Tinderbox is an experience. The design seems to vary from dark and woody to light and airy, depending on where you sit. The coffee is great, and the enormous selection of cakes and pastries make it a great option for a catch-up with friends.

Oh, and there’s a painted forest on the wall.

189 BYRES RD 0141 339 3108

160 WOODLANDS RD 0141 352 9996

17 DRURY ST 0141 248 6368

10. BLACKFRIARS A gastro-pub in the heart of the Merchant City, but don’t let that put you off, for Blackfriars lacks much of the gloss and extraneous gubbins of other bars nearby. Instead, there’s a jolly and cosy atmosphere, a splitlevel layout with food upstairs and booze downstairs, a great array of pub grub, and enough local and international beer to float a battleship.

13. ARTISAN ROAST The heart of the operation, and the place where the magic happens. When grabbing a coffee at Artisan Roast’s Glasgow shop you’ll probably catch a glimpse of the roaster where their brilliant brew comes to life. The café presents a kind of shabby chic, inviting you to stick around and catch the aromas. As you’d expect from people who make coffee literally from scratch, they can do a mean cappuccino. It’s all in the bubbles, apparently.

15 GIBSON ST 0777 642 8409

36 BELL ST 0141 552 5924

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16. TCHAI-OVNA Haunt of students, artists and tea lovers, Tchai-Ovna draws you in with promises of a relaxed and calming vibe and a delicious vegetarian menu. Oh, and loads and loads of tea. 80 different varieties and blends are on offer, and once you’ve taken your pick the array of mismatching armchairs, wicker furniture and floor cushions allow plenty of space for lounging around.

42 OTAGO LN 0141 357 4524

17. AVENUE G This Byres Road cafe has three main focuses; serving up good coffee, making good food with local ingredients, and making sure you lot have a “jolly good time.” We are pleased to report that they succeed on all three counts. That they also provide value for money in a great location with a relaxed atmosphere and lovely staff are all very happy bonuses.

18. HIDDEN LANE CAFE This is a fairly straightforward one. The Hidden Lane Cafe is a cafe that is hidden, up a lane.

Off Argyle Street, away from the shops and angry jakeys, the Café is part of the artistic bolt hole that is Argyle Court. Sitting alongside a gallery and a host of arts and crafts boutiques, it’s a place that inspires creativity, as well as doing a neat line in vintage tea cups and home-baked cakes.

19. MONO We know what you’re thinking: It’s a record shop, isn’t it? Well while Monorail next door punts all manner of music to trendy types, Mono is a top-drawer allvegan cafe and bar which wears its meatlessness as a badge of honour. The variety is impressive, and the execution is brilliant. The cool music from next door makes regular appearances on the PA, as do the plaid-shirted hordes.

291 BYRES RD 0141 339 5336

8 ARGYLE CT 0141 564 1363

103 KING ST 0141 553 2400

Taco Mazama is Glasgow's first Californian style Burrito Bar & Taqueria, offering freshly made Mexican food seven days a week in the City Centre and West End

ueria, ade en e City End

ADS, LLAS

BURRITOS, NACHOS, FAJJITAS, SALADS, TACOS, CHILLIS, ENCHILADAS, QUESADILLAS

99

WEST END – 263 BYRES RD – 0141 337 3399

940

CITY CENTRE – 6 RENFIELD ST – 0141 248 8940

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20. COIA’S For over eighty years, spanning three generations, Coia’s Italian restaurant has been dishing up tasty grub which marries the best bits of the Old Country with Glasgow’s heartiest home comforts. Expect leather booths and polished wood, as well as Italian classics and legendary ice cream. They also offer takeaway, if you want lovely Italian food in the comfort of your grimy student halls.

23. BANANA LEAF There may have opened a new branch on Albert Drive, and seen their name partially usurped by a Chinese restaurant in the city centre, but ask any graduates about the Banana Leaf and they’ll send you to Dumbarton Road in the shadow of Kelvingrove Park.

It offers the textbook definition of ‘informal dining’ - no alcohol licence, ramshackle service, massive portions and brilliant flavours.

26. TROPEIRO If you enjoy meat, then the Brazilian steakhouse Tropeiro is the place for you. Waiters circle the tables dispensing freshly barbecued meat. When you’ve had enough, or if you don’t fancy what’s next, simply place your provided red card on the table and the staff will leave you to recover. Alternatively, leave your green card on display and fill yourself up for the weekend.

76B OLD DUMBARTON RD 0141 334 4445

363 ARGYLE ST 0141 222 2102

473 DUKE ST 0141 554 3822

21. MOTHER INDIA’S CAFE Opposite Kelvingrove Museum, this cosy cafe is the experimental little sister of the main Mother India restaurant. Its informal and friendly atmosphere makes for a laid-back dining experience which isn’t too hard on your pocket.

With an extensive spread of Indian food on offer, and plenty of options for vegetarians, the tapas-style portions allow you to try a bit of everything.

24. ASIA STYLE The proprietors of Asia Style seem to believe in the concept of hiding in plain sight. Widely regarded as a purveyor of the best Asian food in the West End, Asia Style keeps its underground status by unswervingly sticking to its canteen-style chic. The menu is authentic and broad, with a huge variety of dishes to choose from and prices that won’t hit your wallet too hard.

185-189 ST. GEORGES RD 0141 332 8828

1355 ARGYLE ST 0141 339 9145

22. TACO MAZAMA An outpost of Southern Californian cuisine in the heart of the city, Taco Mazama is all about the burrito. All the usual fillings are on offer, with the pulled pork a particular favourite. If you fancy your Mexican food in a different configuration, tacos, enchiladas and quesadillas are also on the menu, and with late-night opening at the weekend this is one to remember for the end of a night out.

25. GREEN CHILLI CAFE When the bank balance looks a bit rough but you don’t quite fancy hitting the cold baked beans, you could do worse than heading to Green Chilli. The Indian tapas restaurant hosts Madness Nights every Tuesday and Wednesday where dishes start at just a pound. Other nights aren’t that much more expensive, and the flavours and style don’t suffer for being so ludicrously cheap.

27. CRABSHAKK Seafood can be something of a risky business. We won’t go into detail; suffice it to say that you want to avoid ‘cheap’ prawns. Good value is a different story, and that’s where Crabshakk comes in.

The phone box-sized West End restaurant serves up fresh fish and seafood at entirely reasonable prices, in a setting that’s all tiles and stark grey paint. Worth booking for big occasions or when you need to impress a special someone.

1114 ARGYLE ST 0141 334 6127

1293 ARGYLE ST 0141 337 6378 6 RENFIELD ST 0141 248 8940

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GLASGOW CULTURE 1. GLASGOW FILM THEATRE The GFT, as most know it, has been part of Glasgow’s cultural heritage since 1939.

The building itself is famous for its incredible art deco design and features, and the interior is cosy yet luxurious. The two screens show a range of international releases, rare and late night screenings, as well as hosting Q&A events with special guests and directors.

GFT also acts as the hub of the Glasgow Film Festival every spring.

2. GROSVENOR CINEMA While it may have lost some of its alternative charm, the regular classic movie marathons and the generally solid programming help it maintain a strong appeal. The quaint Ashton Lane backdrop doesn’t hurt either, and makes grabbing a pre-film bite or pint an enjoyably cobbled affair.

ASHTON LN 0141 339 8444

3. TRAMWAY Few venues are more rooted in Glaswegian history than Tramway, having operated as a tram depot, a transport museum, and now living on as a performance and exhibition space.

Tramway 1 hosts performancebased events including theatre, contemporary dance, gigs and much more, whilst Tramway 2 is the primary gallery space. To give you an idea of its size, Tramway 2 was convincingly transformed into a sheltered housing complex at the start of the year. This is where to go for the big art.

12 ROSE ST 0141 778 7773 25 ALBERT DR 0141 276 0950

two is the magic number hillhead bookclub; providing suitably priced beverages sun-wed vodka | gin | rum | whisky hillhead bookclub .co.uk vinicombe street / 0141 576 1700

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4. THE KING’S THEATRE The King’s has resided on Bath Street for over a century, and the ornate sandstone facade has earned the building an A-listed status. In terms of content, the theatre houses touring productions, comedy, dance and, of course, the annual panto. There’s also a healthy focus on amateur drama, with several am-dram productions treading the boards each year.

7. GOMA Glasgow’s Gallery of Modern Art houses an enjoyable collection of contemporary Scottish art as well as an extensive library and a programme of exhibitions featuring big hitters from the international art world. Centrally located, it has traditionally formed a haven for emo kids on a Saturday afternoon so if you haven’t grown out of that yet, fire away.

ROYAL EXCHANGE SQ 0141 287 3050

297 BATH ST 0141 240 1111

5. TRON THEATRE The Tron theatre in the Merchant City offers a mixed bill of new writing and re-workings, with an emphasis on Scottish, UK and world premieres. Additionally, it plays host to many of the city’s arts festivals such as Glasgay!, Celtic Connections and the Merchant City Festival. In addition to theatre performances, this 16th century building also hosts exhibitions in the Long Gallery and boasts a swanky theatre bar.

8. THE COMMON GUILD Housed in a beautiful Victorian building, Common Guild exhibitions take place in rooms spread over two floors, including a unique library designed by artist Andrew Miller. The library stocks a range of art books, catalogues, publications and periodicals and can be perused by visitors. As well as gallery-based exhibitions, The Common Guild hosts a range of exhibition talks, non-gallery projects and is responsible for the direction of Glasgow International Festival of Visual Art.

10. TRANSMISSION GALLERY Founded in 1983 by GSA graduates, Transmission Gallery continues to fulfil its original mandate to offer exhibition space and opportunities for young artists. Transmission encourages interaction between its members to create an inspirational atmosphere. The gallery also hosts film screenings, an annual exhibition of members’ work, and acts as one of the host venues for the annual Glasgow International Festival of Visual Art. 28 KING ST 0141 552 7141

11. CENTRE FOR CONTEMPORARY ARTS A multi-functioning arts venue, CCA plays host to a dynamic programme of contemporary film, music, performance, and the odd painting as well. It houses the bookshop Aye Aye Books, studio and gallery space for collaborative workshops, and the Saramago café bar with its delicious tapas, quality beers and outdoor terrace.

63 TRONGATE 0141 552 4267

6. THEATRE ROYAL The oldest theatre in Glasgow and the longest running in Scotland, the Theatre Royal screams tradition. Its grand auditorium with cherry-red walls, plush seating and an ornate ceiling is home to Scotland’s resident companies – Scottish Opera and Scottish Ballet. The Royal is a great place to experience both national and international dance and opera as well as touring productions, and some big name comedians.

21 WOODLANDS TCE 0141 428 3022

350 SAUCHIEHALL ST 0141 352 4900

9. VIRGINIA GALLERY Tucked away in a Virginia Street basement, Virginia Gallery hosts regular exhibitions, many specialising in erotic art. The space is also used for artist talks, life drawing classes and burlesque showcases. Upstairs, the shop Luke and Jack Ltd describes itself as catering for love, life, sex, romance and celebration.

They stock a wide range of LGBT literature, erotic toys and willyshaped pasta.

12. RECOAT Recoat Gallery specialises in exhibiting street art, graffiti, illustration, photography and graphic art, as well as hosting several off-site projects. If you’re a street artist, Recoat is your onestop-shop for materials and spray paint, as well as magazines and books dedicated to graffiti. Their annual ‘Affordable Art Show’ is an excellent place to pick up an original piece of art that won’t break the bank.

45A VIRGINIA ST 0141 552 5699

323 NORTH WOODSIDE RD 0141 341 0069

282 HOPE ST 0844 871 7627

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GLASGOW MUSIC & CLUBS 1. SUB CLUB The best club in the country and one of the best in Europe, this dance music mecca is home to some of the finest DJ talent around. That has a lot to do with the soundsystem, which will take your face clean off if you aren’t braced for it. It has a fair amount to do with the history and community vibe that has existed around nights like Optimo for the Sub’s 20-odd years. And it has plenty to do with the punters, who turn up and bust out on a nightly basis.

22 JAMAICA ST 0141 248 4600

2. LA CHEETAH A space for club nights at the smaller, DIY end of the scale, La Cheetah has a number of elements going in its favour.

First, there’s the size of the place, which means that it never feels anything other than busy. Then there’s the eclectic mix of music, with techno, dubstep, house and electro all getting an airing. If that’s not enough for you, then go just to see the DJ booth.

Seriously, it’s bonkers.

4. FLAT 0/1 Flat 0/1 is a bar and nightclub decked out like a student flat. It comes complete with a buzzer, mismatching furniture and a bike chained up in the hall. The bar serves some very cheap booze, such as the ever classy White Lightning, as well as decent draft beers and spirits. The music played is a mix of funk, house and electro, and in true flat party style you need to dance around the furniture.

73 QUEEN ST 0141 221 1379

162 BATH ST 0141 331 6227

3. STEREO The vegan tapas palace hosts gigs and club nights in its stark and spacious basement, with bigger promoters, DIY outfits and curious independents all getting a look in. Expect locally sourced avant-garde stupidity one night, and your favorite aging post-hardcore act the next.

Club nights often take the form of gig after-parties, but some of Glasgow’s finest DJs have be known to hijack the place.

5. NICE ’N’ SLEAZY Aidan Moffat got it right when we asked him to sum up Sleazy’s in five words: “Very, very difficult to leave”. That’s not to say you won’t want to – the Sleazy’s basement can be hellishly claustrophobic, festering with the very essence of the messy night out. Persevere. Sleazy’s is home to the city’s most intelligent, open-minded gig bookers, regularly handing the stage over to acts that others would barely consider music.

22-28 RENFIELD LN 0141 222 2254 421 SAUCHIEHALL ST 0141 333 0900

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6. KING TUT’S WAH WAH HUT A niche-defying institution, King Tut’s is both a homely basement bar with pool tables and food, and an upstairs gig space with an incredible reputation and a track record for booking great bands. Provided you don’t get stuck behind the pillar at the top of the stairs you’ll see just why this is one of the best small venues in the city, and the powerful PA means you’ll definitely hear why.

272A ST VINCENT ST 0141 221 5279

7. THE ARCHES The Arches’ location underneath the West Coast mainline among previously derelict caverns may cause consternation to newcomers, but there’s no doubt that it’s one of the city’s largest, most creative venues.

The not-for-profit organization invests much of what it makes back into programming, allowing promoters to bring in acts and DJs, both new and established, whose fan base can no longer fit in a sweat-choked basement bar.

253 ARGYLE ST 0141 565 1000

8. THE BARROWLANDS If you’re in Glasgow for any amount of time then the chances are you’ll end up at a gig in this Gallowgate institution.

It’s truly one of the greatest venues anywhere in the UK with incredible acoustics, a ridiculous starry facade and a sprung dance floor that allows Barras crowds to genuinely jump higher and go crazier than anyone else.

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host to great bands from across the world almost every night.

244 GALLOWGATE 0141 552 4601

9. O2 ACADEMY Arguably one of Glasgow’s best gig venues, the Academy represents the middle ground between intimate gig and stadium tour. Formerly an Art Deco cinema, the large capacity allows for established acts from home and abroad, and pleasingly the Academy don’t stick to one musical genre, and offer a real mix of shows. It is also home to the notorious Club Noir, a live club night with titillating burlesque performances that always sells out.

121 EGLINTON ST 0844 477 2000

10. THE 13TH NOTE Standing tall amid the creative decay of the city centre’s east end, The 13th Note has cemented its reputation as an uncompromising believer in, and supporter of, live music in Glasgow. The absurdly cheap overheads allow all manner of mentalists to have their way with the bar’s crumbling cellar. Shows lean in a heavier, more esoteric direction as a result, so amongst other things expect hardcore, drone, noise, and plain silliness.

50 KING ST 0141 553 1638

11. SWG3 Just on the right side of the Clyde’s industrial wasteland is Studio Warehouse Glasgow. As a venue, it’s come a long way since its days as a rotting, semi-legal hipster’s wet dream. The bleak interior has been transformed

into a sleek, haunting auditorium.

SWG3 itself is home to all manner of graft-dodging creative types, many of whom have been involved in the highly innovative gigs, festivals, and club nights you’ll find there.

100 EASTVALE PL 0141 357 7246

12. GLUE FACTORY Whilst SWG3 has sought to rejoin polite society, the Glue Factory at Spiers Lock revels in its post-industrial squalor. The former production plant hosts gigs, mini-fests and club nights within its unsettling, labyrinthine interior, and many of them make creative use of the space. Just watch yourself on the homebrews – they’re cheap, delicious, and some of Glasgow’s most dangerous concoctions.

22 FARNELL ST

N II C C E E N N N S L L E E A A S Z Y Y Z VENUE / NIGHT CLUB / BAR 4 2 1 S A U C H I E H A L L S T, G L A S G O W O P E N U N T I L 3 A M 7 D AY S A W E E K F O O D S E R V E D N O O N - 9 P M D A I LY

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DUNDEE VENUES CULTURE 1. DCA With a two-screen cinema, an impressive café-bar, and regular high-profile exhibitions, the DCA is the place to be for Dundonians interested in the arts. There’s professional printmaking equipment, as well as a gallery shop for gifts and exhibition materials, and the whole place is a pleasure to be in. The best place for any Dundee art student to go people-watching.

152 NETHERGATE 0138 290 9900

2. DUNDEE REP Home to one of the country’s most-renowned theatre companies, the Rep also hosts the best touring theatre to be found in the City of Discovery. It isn’t just serious theatre that the Rep hosts, with dance, stand-up and live music all featuring as part of an eclectic programme. Located in the heart of town, grabbing a post-show meal or drink won’t require a huge trek.

TAY SQUARE 0138 222 3530

3. HANNAH MACLURE CENTRE A unique exhibition space on the top floor of the Abertay Student Union, the centre provides a platform for burgeoning artistic talent from around Scotland and further afield. The 72-seat cinema is often used in conjunction with the Centre’s art exhibitions, and the addition of a coffee bar and adjoining rooftop terrace only sweeten the deal.

3 BELL ST 0138 230 8324

FOOD & DRINK 1. ART BAR They don’t come much simpler than this: Art Bar is a bar for arty types. Right next to Duncan of Jordanstone, this small but atmospheric basement bar is one of the key haunts of the city’s paintbrush twiddlers. Resident DJs are on hand to keep things lively, alongside a host of open mics and regular live music.

The drinks prices are studentfriendly, and the outdoor seating area makes this the ideal spot whatever the weather.

146 PERTH RD 0138 220 2187

4. JUTE CAFE BAR Once you’ve perused the art on offer upstairs, head down to Jute in the lower foyer of the DCA to chew the fat. The swanky interior and knowledgeable staff make this the best place for a quiet drink to recover from a contemporary art blitz, and the miraculously low volume of the background noise means that a genuine conversation need not result in torn vocal chords.

140 PERTH RD 0138 222 7888 152 NETHERGATE 0138 290 9900

2. TONIC While Tonic may be famous for its choice of burgers (fair enough considering they’ll serve up ostrich without even blinking), it’s also a great bar in its own right. Reasonable drinks prices, a great location slap-bang in the middle of town, and a hearty atmosphere add up to make this much more than ‘the place with the mad burgers.’

5. DUKE’S CORNER From the same team as Edinburgh’s Red Squirrel and Holyrood 9A, Duke’s Corner sets out a similar stall with high-quality pub grub and a whole host of tasty beers and spirits. What sets Duke’s out from its stablemates is the regular live music on offer, which comes from local bands from across the musical spectrum.

141 NETHERGATE 0138 222 6103

13 BROWN ST 0138 220 5052

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3. DROUTHY’S Drouthy’s like to keep things simple, and it’s a policy that works well. Whether you’re heading in for a hangover breakfast or settling down for a long and lazy post-lecture evening, expect hearty grub with a few exotic twists, a grand behind-the-bar selection and an all-round warm welcome. The basement also deserves a mention for its eclectic mix of live music.

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6. AGACAN Intimate, eclectic and enticing; just three of the words being chucked about when consulting popular opinion on one of Dundee’s best Turkish eateries.

Shunning the strip-lights and beige tiles of various, less vibrant imitators, Agacan is ablaze with local art, and some from its owner and namesake. Expect platters of freshly prepared, expertly seasoned, tastebud-reviving and hangover-diminishing Turkish delights.

113 PERTH RD 0138 264 4227

7. DEEP SEA RESTAURANT Look past the slightly austere exterior, the dark wood and strange tablecloths, and you’ll see that this is the best place in Dundee for traditional fish & chips. That old-fashioned setting fits right in with the food, and the enduring popularity of the Deep Sea is testament to the quality of the fare. Oh, and they do takeaway if you’d rather grab a seat down Magdalen Green.

9. TARTAN COFFEEHOUSE A paintbrush throw from the art school, this gourmet coffee spot combines agreeable Scottish cuisine with top notch java. There are comfy chairs, a convivial atmosphere, and a certain tolerance for those who get so engrossed in conversation that they almost forget about their coffee. The ideal student cafe, then.

53 PERTH RD 0138 232 2338

3. LIQUID Another of Dundee’s mainstream nightclubs, Liquid has a number of tricks up its sleeve that make it an enticing proposition. For starters, there’s the size of the place; no accidentally tripping over your flatmates in here. Then there are the booths, which act as magnets for attention while simultaneously keeping out the riff-raff. Oh, and the luxury pods, each with their own bar. Like we said, tricks up its sleeve.

21 SOUTH WARD RD 0138 220 5551

MUSIC & CLUBS 1. FAT SAM’S One of Scotland’s biggest clubs, Fat Sam’s serves up a range of club nights for students and ‘real people’ alike. Wednesday is the dedicated student night, but the place is always full of scholars taking a well-earned break from their studies drinking cocktails out of fishbowls. The attached gig venue, Fat Sam’s Live, hosts a variety of bands and solo artists, and the occasional fun-packed PA from reality TV "stars".

4. UNDERGROUND Whatever your musical taste, the Underground won’t disappoint.

This basement club has a very, very inclusive music policy, with everything from R’n’B to rock to stuff from the popular music charts. A chic setting and cheap drinks mark Underground out as a good place to finish a night.

25 SOUTH TAY ST 0138 220 0399

81 NETHERGATE 0138 222 4449 31 SOUTH WARD RD 0138 222 8181

8. KETCHUP With the feel of a 1950s American diner, Ketchup makes a welcome change from other Dundee restaurants. 2-for-1 offers and lunch deals help keep the prices more than reasonable, and the comfortable booths and retro decor give the place a relaxed and laid-back vibe, as do the friendly staff who won’t laugh when you get mustard all over yourself.

2. THE READING ROOMS Intimate, loud, and adorned with army-style camouflage roofing, the Reading Rooms is a popular choice among Dundee’s trendier music-lovers. It can fill up quickly, especially on big nights such as electro and disco night Book Club and when big-name guest DJs are in town. A truly unique club that’s different from every other in Dundee.

BLACKSCROFT 0138 222 8496

10 SOUTH TAY ST 0845 166 6020

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THE SKINNY STUDENT HANDBOOK 2012 - 2013

INDEP ENDEN T

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STUDENT HANDBOOK 2012–2013

Not For Everyone.

117 Bath Street, Glasgow // 0141 574 6066 // www.bloc.ru Student handbook 2012_outside cover_4mm spine.indd 1

MUSIC | FILM | CLUBS | PERFORMANCE | TECH| BOOKS | COMEDY | ART | FASHION |TRAVEL| LISTINGS 06/09/2012 11:27