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Sex and the Steel City The Silhouette

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Executive Editor

Brian Decker

Sr. InsideOut Editor Natalie Timperio

Asst. InsideOut Editor Cassandra Jeffery

Photographers

Jonathon Fairclough Tyler Hayward Bahram Dideban Renée Vieira

Graphics

Joy Santiago Andrew Terefenko

Covers

Tyler Hayward Bahram Dibedan Jonathon Fairclough

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Brian Decker Sam Colbert Natalie Timperio Cassandra Jeffery

Writers

Farzeen Foda Seth Enriquez Brandon Meawasige Dina Fanara Alessandra Robertson Natalie Timperio Katherine George Kacper Niburski Amanda Teseo Sonya Khanna Cassandra Jeffery Maryann Ashley

Layout & Design Andrew Terefenko Brian Decker Jonathon Fairclough Joy Santiago Natalie Timperio Cassandra Jeffery Sam Colbert Sonya Khanna Myles Herod

THE STEEL CITY 2012 TABOO? LET’S TALK ABOUT IT

here’s no single definition of what a sex life should be like. For every person, there’s a unique and unwritten sense of what’s right and what’s wrong. Talking about it, though, is a little taboo. Sexual confidants are few and far between for most people, and the details of one’s sex life often go unmentioned. But everyone is a little different, and everyone has a sense of what turns them on or off. And if we never discuss it openly, we might not even know for ourselves what we want. In the 2012 edition of Sex & the Steel City, these conventions are broken, because if there’s one place it’s okay to talk about taboo sexual topics, it’s in a student sex magazine. In fact, there’s only one thing you won’t find here: a cautious quieting of the wonderful subject of sex lives. It doesn’t matter if you’re straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, a virgin, transgendered or transsexual; the human sexual experience has no rigid categories, and nothing to say about what’s normal, boring or extreme. This magazine is a place for people to share their stories. Whether it’s hearing the perspectives of those who are choosing to wait for their first time or exploring the dynamics of transsexual relationships, we have too much to learn about ourselves to not talk about it. Heck, aren’t you curious to hear about why someone would bleach their anus? If we have this dialogue, our worries about how acceptable our sexual lives are will disappear. And maybe then, we’ll have a new understanding of what the meaning of taboo really is.

BY BRIAN DECKER, NATALIE TIMPERIO AND CASSANDRA JEFFERY

Photo by Tyler Hayward

CROSS THE

By Farzeen Foda

ING

LINE Photos by Jonathon Fairclough & Tyler Hayward

IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT, IT HAPPENED. One thing led to the next, and every ‘first’ you ever had vanished. It was more exciting than you could have ever imagined, and it left you restlessly waiting for more. But the blur soon clears and you find yourself feeling empty, hurt or violated, unsafe with the person who just shared an intimate experience with you.

uring a one night stand, or even in a relationship, er is suddenly so much easier, and part of you wants red flags may be waving at you, but you may not to embrace every opportunity to bask in this newfound see them or even acknowledge them until the deed has glory out of fear that it may be short-lived. been done. Maybe you give in to the first admirer, out of When it comes to dealing with the opposite fear that they may be the only one, or you embark on sex, humans are built with urges of all sorts, and be- what may be aptly named your “slut phase.” In enjoyhind all of those feelings of lust, yearning and, most of ing your newfound status as the subject of attraction, all, raw animal impulses, lies our conscience, equipped you conveniently ignore every tell-tale ‘douchebag’ with an uncanny sense of right and wrong: the one sign. part of us that knows better, but is most frequently In some circumstances of despair, one may ignored. find themselves ignoring seemingly obvious signs that So ladies and gents, we know it, or at least this situation or this person is not worth your time and some part of us knows it. There’s nothing to learn here, effort. Ladies, does he talk about women like animals? just a chance to bring some rationality to sex and re- Is he at the bar every night trying to pick up “chicks”? lationships, if possible. Behind closed doors, under the Does he reference Jersey Shore and call his protruding sheets – wherever you like it – there is certainly no belly “The Situation”? Guys, does she remind you of right or wrong way. You can get as creative as you like, Snooki? When you run your hands through her hair, but why you felt compelled to follow through may draw do your fingers come out tangled in hair extensions? the line between the most thrilling rollercoaster of your When you kiss her, do you feel plastic eyelashes brushlife and a moment of sour regret. ing your cheek? There are many reasons why we may find our- If the Jersey Shore appeal works for you, that’s selves amidst the best and worst of sexual encounters. fine. This is not meant to be a “ditch him” column. But Sometimes the root of the problem lies in our past, and if even the Michael Bublé-wannabe whispering sweet this is not referring to issues during childhood con- nothings in your ear is taking things too quickly or leadcerning the Oedipus or Elecing things in a direction you’re tra complexes. Adolescence not ready for, listen to yourself “Behind closed doors, is a time we develop a sense and speak up. Hints are not alof our status, especially with under the sheets - wherever ways as obvious as they may respect to attractiveness. Durto the one giving them. you like it - there is certainly seem ing these high school years, After talking it out, perhaps maybe you were the popular Mr. Lovestruck just needs some no right or wrong way.” one who could get anyone explicit instructions, while Mr. you even slightly fancied, or Douchebag may never change, maybe you were the average one. You saw yourself as in which case, it’s time to pack up. average, and everyone saw you as average (or so you So the glaring red stop signs pass unnoticed, thought), and you felt like no one would ever lust for and you’re left with an uneasy conscience, but a chance you. to live out your wildest sexual fantasies. Perhaps you Settling for mediocrity, you forced yourself to consider retracting and doing what you feel is right, be content with your average status, but always felt but if you do that, would this person leave you? Guys slightly jealous of the lucky few that always seemed to and girls, when a thought of this nature reaches your have the most amazing luck with the opposite sex. You consciousness, don’t ignore it. secretly yearned for the day that someone would fall If you are the pressurer, take a minute to think for you the way you hopelessly crushed on others who about what your partner is going through, and as the caught your eye. pressuree, take a few moments for yourself to think Then, almost overnight, something changed. about what this person is asking of you – and it could Either you grew up or you hit puberty late, but what- be anything, not just sex. ever it was shone new light on your dating prospects. If it’s for the wrong reasons, or if it’s with the Suddenly, from being a nobody, you became a some- wrong person, it could lead to feelings of emptiness, body, and it was noticed by the opposite sex. When tarnishing what could simply be a memory you go out with friends, guys at the bar are noticing like none other. Of course, comfort does not you, or ladies suddenly take a little more interest in compromise fun, and it’s okay to be picky. what you have to say. Jumping from one base to anoth- Sometimes you really can have it both ways.

FriEndlEss BEnEfits Our QuandariEs with boundariEs

an a person in a committed relationship maintain friendships with the opposite sex? For many, this question seems insignificant; the answer is almost always given in the affirmative. Why should they not? Gone are the days when relationships were needlessly restricted and regulated. Friendships are available to all, regardless of race, colour, creed or sexual orientation. Conventional wisdom says that a person can be friends with anyone they like, and your dating life shouldn’t be a barrier. “It is important learn to interact with people who are different than you. It’s totally worth having friends of opposite gender,” says Katherine Randall, firstyear student at the University of Guelph. There is a strong conviction for inclusiveness in today’s culture. We are a generation that is generous and accepting. However, there are those who believe that opposite-sex friendships are inherently problematic. According to some, the issues of gender run deep and can often prove a difficulty to those who want to balance a romantic relationship and a friend of the opposite sex. “Friendship with someone of the opposite sex always spawns romance, no matter what TV tells you,” says fourth-year psychology student Evan Fusilier. This working paradigm is summed up nicely by Lord Darlington in Oscar Wilde’s Lady Windermere’s Fan, when he says, “Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.” The fact is that some straight men and women, who are in an exclusive relationship, have friends of the opposite sex. And yet the issue of friendship when dating someone seems to be, upon reflection, a considerable one. With the wide disparity of opinion on this issue, questions arise: does culture reflect reality? Are various friendships with the opposite sex viable or worthwhile? For those who evince a cautious view to opposite gender friendships, the primary concerns are attraction and faithfulness. “There are qualities in the fabric

of friendship that seem to blur with connections that ought to be made with your significant other, such as time investments, intimacy and shared moments,” says Sasha Vukelich, a global studies graduate from Trinity College. “It’s natural that friendship leads to romance,” says Fusilier. There is a sense in which Fusilier’s cautious point of view predicts inevitability of complication with opposite-gender friendships. However, there are many who don’t see a necessary difficulty with having friends of the opposite sex. “I believe that males and females can be friends and that you should be able to trust your significant other to hang out with the opposite gender with no issues,” says Elise Williamson, a graduate of Laurentian University.

“Am I honestly the kind of person that can maintain friendships with people I may become attracted to?” “Just because you have feelings does not mean you have to act on them,” says Randall. “Attraction is a deeply biological event,” says third-year philosophy student Graham White, “so although you can’t completely control how you feel, you can definitely control how you behave.” In this way, the issue of wayward attraction is to be arbitrated by personal conviction. The objections raised by those like Vukelich and Fusilier are considered incorrect since they assume that attraction almost necessarily effects complication, which, according to those like Williamson and Randall, is just not the case. Despite this issue’s polarizing nature, some choose a middle approach.“There can be problems with opposite gender friendships” says Katie Banks, a University of Guelph student. “However, all friendships have problems. They’re situational in nature and must be dealt with on a case-by-case basis. There’s no reason to be gender biased.” “There was a guy that clearly liked me while I was with my current boyfriend,” says Laurie Fusilier, second year student at the University of Waterloo. “This was

something that we could sit down and sort out; discern what was best for us. Sometimes we keep friendships, sometimes we back away from others, for the sake of our relationship. This is how we both maintain opposite gender friendships. Trust is vital.” For those like Katie and Laurie, there is an acknowledgement of inherent complications with friendships that contain the availability of attraction. However, this is just one of many issues that can arise from friendship, and not potent enough to write off friends that may contain attraction. The question of opposite gender friendships, especially while in a committed relationship, is a varied and complicated one. If approached thoughtfully, one is forced to answer questions like: What does it mean to be in a relationship, either platonic or romantic? To what degree is it appropriate to be defined by my significant other? Can I truly be intimate and vulnerable to someone and still live my life exactly as I want to, independently? Deeper and more terrifying are the questions that arise about us: Am I honestly the kind of person that can maintain friendships with peopleI may become attracted to? Does my character warrant that kind of trust? Answered carefully and honestly, self-reflection will yield the answer that is best for you. The dominant paradigm, that one can be friends with anyone free of care, may just work for you. However, the concerns raised by other ways of thinking are definitely worth time and attention. What’s left is for us to do the work. We must learn about ourselves, to better know how to share ourselves. This, at least, is a first step to becoming a good friend.

Photo by Tyler Hayward and Bahram Dideban

By Seth Enriquez

Being secure enough to let your beauty or beau have friends of the opposite sex may take years of building trust.

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Long distance relationships can bring peril to any romance. How does love overcome when you can’t just come over?

Photo by Jonathon Fairclough

I wish you were here right now. There are many different situations in which these words are applicable to any two people in a relationship; they could be a call for help with homework or perhaps a beckoning strictly for physical gratification. Unfortunately when it comes to relationships that require more emotional investment – those of a romantic nature – these words often carry far more weight. Even still, there is a group that suffers the pains of separation from their significant other more than anyone else. These lucky people are in long distance relationships. For these people to receive the sentiment of “I wish you were here right now,” at least once a day, if not several times a week is not out of the ordinary. Before going any further, there must be some clarification as to what constitutes a long distance relationship. Yes, a commute to a suburb may be difficult, but it looks like a walk around the park in comparison to relationships that span cities, provinces or even countries. You know you are involved in one of these bad boys if the countdown until you see your lover is a matter of a few short weeks or if the countdown you keep is oddly close to that which indicates the next break in classes. Usually it is. Some will read this and chuckle that they do not have to put up with such a useless bother in their life, for some it would be too difficult. The reason for that is simple: in order maintain a long distance relationship you must be patient, selfless and confident. The absence of these qualities will surely lead to a turbulent flight over the obstacles presented, figuratively and in extreme cases, literally. That is not to say long distance relationships require nothing less than only the most virtuous people, but proceed with caution if you are impatient, selfish and insecure. Yet to each their own. Firstly, it is difficult enough to maintain a relationship where there is reasonable proximity between two partners, let alone one involving two different municipalities. The situation gets even trickier when post secondary education institutions get thrown into the picture. Nothing makes being away from your significant other easier than being surrounded by forced interaction with a plethora of available options from the opposite sex. Campuses themselves are the haven for the demolition of long distance relationships, although this is not to say that many won’t work out.

Yet, somehow many university students do not seem deterred by the daunting array of possibilities that could lead to failure and someone getting hurt, rightfully so as well. If you love someone, that should supersede any and all doubt resulting from the kilometers of grey area in between you. Temptation, to a reasonable extent, should be reserved for recreational drugs or advertisements for the new menu items at (insert favorite fast food restaurant here) and your schedule should be revolved around getting to see that person next as soon as it is physically possible. That being said, these things do not always fall perfectly into place in spite of the most honourable intentions. Even the most valiant efforts cannot be enough to nurture a long distance relationship. It’s all about communication and honesty. When the going gets tough – and it will – do not hide anything and be as open with your partner as possible. There is no point in pretending to be happy or being together just because you have been for x amount of years. Secondly, the aforementioned advice to not be selfish becomes conditional once the relationship stops being a positive force. If your marks suffer through lack of focus, jealousy gets the better of your sleep patterns and you find yourself snarling at the whole “I wish you were here right now” thing, maybe reconsider your decision to take the plunge. Not everyone is worth your time. However before you make any rash decisions about your future because you have experienced the mind fuck that is second thoughts, think always about why you chose to be with that person in the first place. Do they make you smile? Do they make you laugh? Maybe no one knows you like they do. There is also no point in calling it a quits only to come back a short time after. Use the next train ride there to think, the next bus to listen to ‘our’ songs or the next road trip to vent to whoever will listen. Either way, the most important thing is that next time you go to send them the text “I wish you were here right now,” ask yourself: do you? If you do, no matter how difficult things get, chances are you are doing the right thing. It will get to a point, if it already hasn’t, that the person will mean the same to you whether they are right next to you or halfway around the globe. Best of luck to those crazy enough to partake in a long distance relationship. I couldn’t be happier with mine and I am still standing from battle.

“If you love someone, that should supersede any and all doubt resulting from the kilometres of grey area in between you.”

In and out of the bedroom, we all secretly aspire to be something we’re not. Experimenting with your intimate apparel can make what’s underneath all the more appealing.

By Dina Fanara Photos by Tyler Hayward

hen it comes to sex, each person has their own preferences: lights on or off, in bed or on the couch, clothes on or clothes off. But what many people don’t consider when thinking about sex are the types of clothing that may come into play. Costumes in the bedroom can add excitement to an old relationship or act as a creative twist to a new fling. Whatever the reason, it seems that everyone’s got something to say about it. “It adds to the relationship, or sex life at least,” said McMaster student Mia R. “... clothes play into [the sexual experience].” Similarly, McMaster graduate Benjamin M. said that “costumes are a good way to spice up a relationship that’s been going for a long time ... it brings back the feeling of novelty. The first time you have sex with a new partner is exciting; costumes bring that feeling back.” Trying something new, be it the experience of role-play or trying out a costume, may also be scary or uncomfortable for some. Comfort and trust both between partners and more importantly with oneself is important. McMaster student Jezebelle L. explains: “Comfort is an important factor with the partner in sex in general. It takes a certain intimacy and confidence to want to do these sorts of things.” Though comfort with your partner is a very important element, comfort and confidence with yourself, according to some students, can make or break the experience. Mia couldn’t have said it better: “If you feel sexy, it will make you feel better ... If you’re not comfortable with your looks, you’re not going to draw the attention.” Roxy M. agreed: “It all comes down to your comfort level with your sexuality.” Wearing a costume can also boost one’s confidence. Roxy also explained that “it takes the responsibility off the person” in costume. They are free to potentially say or try something that they normally wouldn’t. They may feel more open to experimenting with different aspects of their sex life, be it through props, positions, lighting, music or whatever else they feel may add to the experience. When it comes to the costumes themselves, there are many different views of what a “costume” can be, from sexy lingerie to outfits from the toy shop to whatever pieces of clothing you may have laying around that resemble some sort of profession or character. As Benjamin M. states, “whatever you can think of, you can dress up as it.” While this may be true, many people still have their favourites. John M. admits that his “favourite costumes have to be the school girl, the nurse or the librarian ... with the school girl, innocence comes into play, ‘teach me,’ and the nurse’s angle is ‘I’ll take care of you.’” Mia and Roxy also agreed, and Roxy added, “I think it’s sometimes about re-enacting that first virgin moment.” When it comes to male costumes, the consensus was that men typically dress up as the “hero,” be it the doctor, the police officer, the firefighter or the businessman. However, it seems that typical female costumes have another angle to them. Student C.N.B. holds a different, but not uncommon mindset when it comes to costume choices: “Costumes are very cliché – the cop, the nurse. I guess some of them are related to women who hold dominant positions within society, and that’s why they’re sexualized. You don’t really see the housewives, but the French maid. Women in everyday jobs don’t dress as themselves in costumes.” While she agreed that costumes may add some excitement, C.N.B. also believes that “it’s easy for people to hide behind a costume, both emotionally and physically.” Though costumes may be all about fun and games, it’s important to remember who is really underneath. Whether you choose to wear costumes to add a little extra spice to your sex life or not, according to Mia, “at the end of it, you’ll still be naked.” So get out there and have fun.

ow do you ask someone a personal question? I’m talking about something so intimate you would have never even considered asking yourself the same thing. I’ve known these people for some time, but it’s still hard to get the first questions out. I remind myself that I am writing about love and its incredible strength. So let me tell you the stories about those who are transgendered and have trans experiences. Let me put their love into a context that can be universally understood and respected. I take a deep breath, and I begin.

Sydney

Sydney speaks to me first. Her appearance strays towards androgynous, explaining some of her trans experience. Born as a physical male, she now identifies as transfeminine, or pangender. After pondering how to explain these unfamiliar terms, she offers the following explanation: “For my own experience, self-discovery and gender, it’s a recognition or rejection of binary gender.” She identifies outside of society’s defined gender roles, but still identifies more towards the feminine. She praises the role of friends, family and the Toronto community in her transition. “My friends are constantly surprising me with how awesome they are,” she says. She continually acknowledges that the recognition of her new and evolving identity has

led to a self-honesty that has renewed her friendships. As she puts it, “people actually want to talk to me more and hang out with me more since I came out – not what I was expecting!” Her friends have been graceful about switching from male pronouns to female, as well as using her new chosen name. When I ask her about any new flames, she laughs and responds, “I’m not in the scene if you know what I mean.” I press more and ask about how she thinks her rejuvenated identity will affect future relationships. Her response is perfect: “You know, I’m not sure if it’ll affect it one way or the other, positively or negatively, in terms of finding a relationship, but certainly it’ll be a healthier future relationship.”

Jacob

Jacob and his girlfriend Sarah agree to tell me the next story. Jacob’s slightly Justin Bieber-esque appearance makes for a few jokes, but it’s quickly settled by Jacob’s assertion that he’s the better looking one. Jacob is in the process of transitioning from female to male. He explains that he felt a sense of disconnect with his physical body since his childhood and teen years. He first tried to label himself as lesbian around the age of 15, but as he says, “when someone called me that, I actually got angry because I never felt like one.” Jacob was 18 when he realized that his feelings may stem from something deeper than sexual orientation. However, he dismissed these feelings because of the relationship he was in, as well as family factors. He emphasizes the fact that the person he was dating at the time was not solely at fault. “She never understood the severity of the situation.” Jacob stops, and then continues, “I could’ve definitely asked her to work through it and she would have said yes, absolutely.” Since Jacob was living as a female and a lesbian at the time, he recognizes that his partner would have struggled to redefine herself as potentially straight after trying for years to solidify her identity as a lesbian. He laughs and quips, “just date bisexuals, it’s my answer to everything.” He talks about his current girlfriend, Sarah. They had dated as lesbians several years ago, but have now renewed their relationship as a straight couple. He gives another quip when asked about what has changed. “What’s different? Well, without going into sexual details, not much.” He explains that he was never able to enjoy sex if he felt like a female. I am shocked by the next statement: he just thought sex wasn’t that fun. Now that he’s more comfortable with his body, and he

understands much better how he wants to be treated. Is the sex better? He wasn’t about to give an answer to that one. Sarah offers me a few words. Her love for Jacob is clearly powerful and she admits she often gets angry when others don’t understand his transition. But Jacob sees it differently. “I can kind of understand from an outsider’s perspective. To be fair, we’ve all looked at someone in a wheelchair and wondered how or why they got there. I mean, there is no harm in just looking to observe and create a category in your mind of where that person may fit. It’s people who have figured it out and still stare [who bother me].”

Will Will is the last person to tell me his story. His transition from female to male has been finalized and he has been living legally as a male for two years. Will is eloquent in describing his trans experience, which often echoes Jacob’s story. As a child of the seventies, Will first identified as a ‘dyke.’ “When I was a child you barely heard the word homosexual, let alone a language for trans. At least, I wasn’t aware of it at the time,” he explains. Although his feelings for women were absolute, he explains that his discomfort with his female body led to a lack of satisfaction with sexual relationships. He was always the ‘giver’ and never the ‘receiver’ during sexual activity; the term ‘stone butch’ is used to describe this in the lesbian community. It was only after a long-term relationship ended in his late thirties that he started to explore his gender identity. “Once I was single again and started to date, I met some queer women who were into men and were much more fluid in their gender and sexuality.” He pauses and looks at me before adding, “and they were quite okay with ‘adding stuff.’” Will starts to speak about his current partner. Unlike Jacob and Sarah, his transition happened after the start of their relationship. Will has only accolades for his partner. “She’s been very supportive,” he says, “and I think what a lot of transpeople forget is that it’s just not you who transitions. It’s everyone around you, because their identities shift as well.” Will starts to speak about sexuality, saying that “I think it can be difficult, when you’re queer and identity politics are a big part of who you are. I think you can feel your identity has been shifted because of your partner’s transition. It’s not any easier because your partner’s queer.” This holds true for heterosexual individuals who suddenly find themselves in a relationship with a samesex partner after a transition and are now thrust into

the queer community. The most touching moment is when Will proudly announces he and his partner are the adoptive parents for two toddlers. Will shares a few moments of humour from his relationship with his sons. “It’s interesting to explain why Daddy sits down and pees,” he says; however, he also has concerns. “They’re in day care, and I worry they will say something along the lines of, ‘when Daddy used to be a girl.’ I don’t ever want them to be corrected on that.” Will’s understanding of the trans and wider queer community is extensive. He likens the trans community’s experiences now to that of the queer community’s experiences 15 years prior. “Not that there’s no homophobia now, because there is, but we’ve come to a place in society where people don’t care as much who you’re loving or who you’re fucking,” Will says. “It doesn’t seem to upset people to the same extent as transitioning genders and passing. It seems that there’s something about fucking with biology, with what’s seen as ‘natural’ and ‘God’s work,’ that really seems to upset people.” He does offer a small piece of hope for those in relationships with partners who have had or are having a trans experience. “I don’t think it’s a myth, and some relationships do break down, but there are many people who have stayed together. I think that it’s important for folks to know as well – that it is possible to maintain a relationship during a transition.”

Graphic by Joy Santiago

Sweeping the Ol’ Dirt Road ar k .. .

...miss

NATALIE TIMPERIO brings you the ‘hole’ truth about anal bleaching.

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‘Is your wink pink?’ Here reads South Beach Skin Solutions’ slogan—the makers of the ‘original, world-famous’ anal bleaching gel for ‘intimate areas’. Anal bleaching is exactly that—bleaching of the anal and genital areas to achieve lightness of the region. South Beach Skin Solutions offers a product that does just this. The process is simple: apply the gel directly to the area you want lightened, be it anus, labia, vulva or penis, and then gently rub the gel into your skin until completely dry. Presto! Of course, depending on your level of darkness, typically multiple treatments need to be applied before satisfactory results are achieved, and periodic use of the gel will help to maintain lightness. “If anal bleaching isn’t for the stars, Some spas may offer the initial treatment, afterward who exactly is it for?” selling you a bottle of bleaching lotion or gel for self-application afterwards. Though it’s said that spas use ‘harsher’ chemicals to lighten the anal and genital area, the result is the same: pretty pink anuses, vaginas and, yes, penises. Indeed, contrary to popular belief, anal bleaching is not something which is exclusive to women. Men too may desire a porn-tastic anus or penis. Not surprisingly, anal bleaching first took flight in the porn industry. Naturally, where your genitals are quite literally on display for all to see, wanting to appear ‘attractive’ down below is understandable. It’s not good business when viewers can’t get a stiff, or wet, one while watching. As to be expected, the advent of anal bleaching coincides with the growing popularity of Brazilian bikini waxes and anal sex. Full exposure of the nether regions makes darkness around the genital area all the more pronounced, and therefore all the more unwanted. Of course, while it may be understandable as to why anal bleaching was made popular by porn stars, perhaps the image of what is in fact true beauty of the anus and genital area is a little more confused. In a discussion about anal bleaching with my coworkers, many of my colleagues brought to light an interesting point: ‘who even pays attention to that?’ When we’re gearing up to get busy do we honestly take note of the fact our partner is dark down under? Yet perhaps it’s not about caring whether or not said partner has a dark anus or vagina or penis. Perhaps it’s a matter of caring that you have a dark anus or vagina or penis – because chances are you do. Photos by Tyler Hayward

Intimate areas, for women and men, are usually darker—it’s simply a matter of natural hormonal changes that occurred when your body was maturing from kid to adolescent. Even so, wanting to achieve ‘ideal beauty’ is something many give way to—but at what cost? While anal bleaching is easily performed at a spa or on your own, it is not without risks. Cosmopolitan reports that gynaecologists and dermatologists warn against anal bleaching as irritation, burning and scarring can occur. Here, Dr. Doris Day, a New York City dermatologist, said that anal bleaching can cause strictures making the opening of the anus smaller, resulting in strained bowel movements that will eventually lead to tearing of the anal canal. And if you’re not put off by the potential damage to “The porn industry may be responsible for popularizing anal bleaching amongst the masses, which anal bleaching may cause, take note of the fact that it may not even achieve the desired result but it’s the continual emphasis on unattainable you are looking for. Dr. Day noted that total depigperfection that sustains this particular trend.” mentation may ensue—a total whiteness of the anus and genital regions. There’s also a chance that the area may even become darker. SkinBeachSkinSolutions.com home page also reads ‘Do you suffer from embarrassing dark or discoloured intimate areas?’ Suffer, embarrassing, discoloured. These words imply that something is wrong. The porn industry may be responsible for popularizing anal bleaching amongst the masses, but it’s the continuous emphasis on unattainable perfection that sustains this particular trend. And who exactly is responsible for this emphasis? After all, it’s not as if the porn industry is ordering us to bleach our behinds and baby-makers. In fact, it’s not even as if viewing porn, and all the supposedly beautiful stars that make porn, is necessary, albeit sexually satisfying at times for some. You’ve heard it before: media markets the unattainable. And yet escaping the unattainable doesn’t prove all too easy. Perhaps little can be done to escape the seemingly incessant drilling of having a perfectly pink anus and genitals. But next time you’re exploring your southern parts or those of another (because chances are after reading this article you more than likely will) take into account the darkness of the anus and genital area and ask yourself this: is what natural really so wrong?

Photo by Jonathon Faiclough

DO IT YOURSELF BY KATHERINE GEORGE

t’s that sticky situation that no one wants to talk about, but it’s system prevents the build up of cancer-causing chemicals. something almost everyone does. But masturbation doesn’t have to be a strictly solo activity; it Masturbation is often stigmatized, leading people to feel can also be a great way to spice up one’s sex life with a partner. that it isn’t normal or that it’s unhealthy for an individual to be Mutual masturbation involves stimulating each other at the same participating in solo sexual activity. The truth is, however, that time, creating an intimacy that will not only bring the two of you masturbation is a completely normal part of life. closer, but will also give you a chance to learn exactly what turns Although masturbation is usually not a regular topic of con- on your partner. An added benefit to mutual masturbation is that versation for men or women, it’s more frequently teased about be- it lessens your risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection tween men and sometimes even discussed openly. When it comes or unexpected pregnancy. to women, however, masturbation Reinforcing the statement that is often a hushed subject, if it’s masturbation is a natural human “Masturbation can improve mood, discussed at all. tendency is the fact that children relieve stress, increase sleep, enhance often begin masturbating around It isn’t because women don’t masturbate. In fact, research self-esteem and release endorphins in eighteen months of age. Surprisshows that women will try masturingly, masturbation is quite comthe brain that contribute to feelings of mon in young children. These tenbation at least once in their lives. The National Health and Social dencies often peak between the physical and mental wellbeing.” Life Survey reported that 58 per ages of three and five, then decent of women don’t participate in cline slowly and soon become freregular masturbation habits and that 47 per cent of those who do quent again during puberty. In most cases, it is considered normal feel guilty about it. behaviour for children of all ages, although of course, the reason Why do women feel guiltier than men about masturbating? young children masturbate differs greatly from adults. These feelings may occur more frequently in women who are in a There are three main reasons that explain why children begin committed relationship because they feel like they are betraying exercising sexual tendencies that even some adults may not feel their partner in some way. Another reason is simply this ingrained comfortable participating in. The first, not surprisingly, is pleasure. idea that masturbation is not normal behaviour. Children learn very quickly that certain areas of their body may The obvious benefit of masturbation is sensual pleasure, but be more sensitive than other areas, some stimulating pleasurable there are also additional benefits. Masturbation can improve mood, feelings. Secondly, it can be an effort to self-soothe, when upset, relieve stress, increase sleep, enhance self-esteem and release en- tired, bored or feeling stressed in some way. And the most comdorphins in the brain that contribute to feelings of physical and mon reason why children may masturbate is exploration. Children’s mental wellbeing. More specifically, women who masturbate on a curiosity is never-ending and masturbation is simply a natural regular basis often report pain relief from menstrual cramps or the curiosity they have about their bodies. symptoms of premenstrual syndrome (PMS). Masturbation often conjures up a stereotype of abnormality, Gloria Brame, PhD and clinical sexologist in Athens, GA, says when it’s really just a common activity that a majority of individuthat masturbation “relieves stress and keeps everything about als – men and women alike – indulge in. The stereotype that men your body – your heart rate, blood pressure, reproductive system, indulge more than women is simply a stereotype; it all depends on brain chemistry – in very good shape.” The benefits of masturba- the individual. More importantly, it is a part of human nature that tion are plentiful and can be very specific to the individual. can be extremely beneficial in numerous aspects of life. In addition, a 2003 Australian study found that men who ejacuMasturbation is not a secret that needs to be hushed out of lated more than five times a week lessened their risk of developing reality. Rather, the real secret is that everyone’s doprostate cancer by one third. Evidently, regularly flushing your ing it.

The Long and Short of it If

God created all men equal, He definitely wasn’t too finicky the penis becomes the distinguishing factor separating the two about the measurements. sexes. Then through self-discovery, their mother’s IKEA cataBesides the obvious differences in prosperity, influ- logues and enough tissues to dry up the Pacific Ocean, a man’s ence and aesthetic appeal, perhaps the most notable inequality penis becomes a best friend. He will fondle it, love it, find both in a man’s life is the size of his penis. overwhelming disappointment and pride in it, shave it and, If you’re male, you already know this. In fact, at this most of all, listen to its demands – regardless of how hard they very second you probably have a ruler on hand, are measur- can become. ing your anatomical dimensions, finding yourself disappointed, Yet despite the unshakable fealty a penis promises to cleverly rounding to the nearest tenth despite not meeting the a male even during the roughest of tugs, men tend to have an ‘greater than five’ requirement, and smiling dubiously at your inferiority complex. After years of reoccurring misconceptions, ‘ten-incher.’ locker-room comparisons and Internet monstrosities, many men Who knows – you may even be using the edge of this become both fearful and self-conscious about their pocket rockvery magazine to determine the size of your junk. I don’t blame ets. you. There is nothing more impressive than confidently saying, Shmuck; Cock-ness Monster; Russell the Love Muscle; “I am three-quarters of the way down a Sex and the Steel City call it what you will, but men will always have reservations article, ladies.” And anyway, what else can a student-based about their penises because they live in a phallocentric world. publication be used for besides leEverything in this civilization gitimizing your manhood? centralizes on whether or not “Just as it takes more than height to Mind you, dear reader, you have a penis. Porn. Culture. such behaviour is not out of the Moral stances. Food fetishes. make a great basketball player and more ordinary. In fact, men love peGucci purses. The type of dog than flexibility to make a gymnast, physical nises – at least, their own. They you buy. Even those who disgear isn’t everything when it comes to driving have an unavoidable fascination agree with such a statement – it out of the park.” for their bologna pony. From feminists, as they are called the beginning of a man’s life, – only prove the point fur-

10 in.

Kacper Niburski brings you the thin and narrow on dick dimensions. ther: they don’t have penises. What’s more is that in a supersized ethos where bigger tends to better, the question of magnitude necessarily comes to the forefront. Topics such as race, ethnicity and culture are added to the flames of debate, and as a result, cross comparisons between men of all types becomes inevitable. Among the many: black vs. white, Asian vs. Indian and myself vs. Mount Everest. Magnitude matters are only made worse by men’s inherent competitiveness, especially in their sexual prowess. As far as libido is concerned, men are in a state of perpetual contest. Often, a male’s battleground is where he can be empowered by alcohol, his enemies are other equally inebriated men, and his mission is the landing strip in between a female’s legs. It is a bloodthirsty war as old as time itself: the Cock Wars. And to win, you have to have the biggest sperm-gun. Or so many men tend to think. Not to belittle societal conceptions, but there is a major failing in the male sex: we do not have enough blood to think with both our brain and penis. It’s either one or the other. There is no go between. As a result, most men don’t realize that size really doesn’t matter. Instead, skill does. Just as it takes more than height to make a great basketball player and more than flexibility to make a

gymnast, physical gear isn’t everything when it comes to driving it out of the park. A bat is only as good as the batter, so to speak. Sure. That’s convenient for me to say. I’m a guy. What could be better for me than to erase any doubt or ounce of responsibility from my lower regions, right? Wrong. While it is true that I am not a female, and it is probably truer that any personal story would only add length as opposed to depth (or girth) to this piece, it should be known that I am not saying the size of one’s penis is inconsequential. In a way, it matters. It might be that the penis is too big and can cause pain, or is so small that it can’t be felt at all. Note, then, that penis size is only important insofar as someone makes it out to be. Most of the time, there’s a Goldilocks condition that is just right. Granted, some girls like ‘em bigger, and others like ‘em smaller, and a few don’t like ‘em at all, but in the end, an ideal penis size is circumstantial. There’s not a uniform size desired by each lover. This is because it is the mastery of one’s wand that causes the magic, not the wand itself. But if I’m wrong, and size is praised over skill, then let it be known that I wrote this entire article – from the first word to this last sentence – with my penis.

8 in.

6 in.

4 in.

2 in.

Photos by Renée Vieira

Note: Paper cuts are the most common cause of penile regret.

Kama Sutra “DESIRESEXUALITY BY

Amanda Teseo

Prolonging Pleasure with literary measure It echoes through cocktail parties, seeps its way into Facebook Centuries ago, the Kama Sutra, an ancient self-help book, statuses and is the subject of late-night phone conversations. It’s was written to address love-related concerns. Written between the your love life. first and fourth centuries BCE by a man named Vatsyayana in Ut“What ‘tis to love?” Shakespeare wrote. People have been tar Pradesh, India, the Kama Sutra contains detailed descriptions burdened by this question for centuries. Poems, short stories, nov- of sexual positions, how to be a good citizen and how to honour els, plays and countless other art your partner. forms have been produced to deIn the language of San“Only about 20 per cent of the Kama pict what it is to be in love. skrit, Kama means “desire,” or Sutra is devoted to sexual positions. The Whether you have given the pursuit of love or pleasure up on it or embraced it, your love remaining portion is comprised of how to live (one of the four aims of life, aclife may seem like a dauntingly well, be a good citizen, please a woman and cording to Hindu traditions), and intricate realm to navigate. Filled Sutra means “rules.” Kama is also maintain a strong relationship.” with mystery and intricacy, love, the name of the Hindu god of love, lust and relationships continuously who is portrayed as a handsome encompass our energy and attenyoung gentleman shooting arrows tion. of love, much like the modern cu“Men and women are like two feet – we need each other pid. Rightfully named, the Kama Sutra is a carefully crafted and to get ahead, but we did not evolve the same way,” said English comprehensive examination of life and love. poet Ted Hughes. “We must learn to live peacefully with one anToday, the bedlam of love has been articulated and anaother to live a life of fulfillment.” lyzed by several different groups of people, ranging from Cosmo-

LOVE”

politan magazine writers to scientific researchers. Dr. Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist, describes three separate interrelated aspects of love: sex drive, romantic love and attachment. Sex drive is an intolerable neural “itch,” much like that of being hungry, that arises rapidly upon being stimulated. Romantic love is not an emotion, but rather a drive or motivation that acts as a type of motor for the brain. Dr. Fisher states that “romantic love has evolved to focus mating energy on just one individual.” She also explains how attachment allows one to tolerate one human being long enough to reproduce. These three mental processes allow humans to love. From a scientific perspective, the Kama Sutra addresses these aspects of love to allow for discipline of sex drive, preservation of romance and strengthening of attachment. At the beginning of the 19th century, British explorer Sir Richard F. Burton became fascinated with Indian erotica upon discovering the Kama Sutra and translating it into English. He famously exclaimed that “we British never knew of this kind of love-making. Had we known, we would not have ruined the lives of so many British virgins.” Despite Burton’s fascination with the book, publication of the Kama Sutra was initially met with great opposition. Under the Obscene Publications Act, Burton was threatened with prosecution and imprisonment after publishing 250 copies of the book. It wasn’t until as late as 1963 that publication of this Indian piece of literature became legal in Britain. Only about 20 per cent of the Kama Sutra is devoted to sexual positions. The remaining portion is comprised of how to live well, be a good citizen, please a woman and maintain a strong relationship. Among other things, the Kama Sutra places great emphasis on achieving orgasm and making love, describing it as a “divine union.” It names 64 Arts, which include eight ways of making love, with a sexual position for each. The book goes further into the act of making love by offering tips, like biting and scratching to spice up the experience, and insisting on rules and customs, like maintaining high standards of cleanliness. It even includes

early recipes for Viagra-like substances and safety precautions involved with the attempt of certain positions during intercourse. Today, the fascination with sex tips is very popular. One need only look to the media in order to gather information about how to make intercourse more pleasurable and passionate. Particularly, the subject area of how to achieve orgasm has been analyzed from various perspectives. Much research has been done to discover the mystery behind the big “O.” Dr. Helen Fisher praises the Kama Sutra for providing basic guidelines to achieve and prolong orgasm. “Orgasm is basically a rush of dopamine, vasopressin and oxytocin hormones,” she states. “These hormones act like a rush of cocaine by making one experience a temporary high.” This “temporary high” is a large part of what makes sex so enjoyable. As animals built to reproduce, it makes sense for us to want to have sex. The purpose of the Kama Sutra is to act as a wise anecdote to our human condition. As a species, we have adapted to form strong attachments, act on our libidos and form romantic feelings. The Kama Sutra teaches us how to be better at reproducing. Although our love lives may plague us and burden us at times, they are what make us human. Modern scientific research supplements the knowledge recorded in the Kama Sutra to provide an understanding of human sexuality.

Graphics by Joy Santiago

singlE and loving it?

In a world seemingly meant for couples, living the single life often has an unwanted stigma. But there’s a lot to learn about love and life from being alone. by

Photo by Jonathon Fairclough

Sonya Khanna

It’s not easy being single; varying prejudices exist between genders and different ages. Despite the frequent reminders that we’re living in a couples’ world, outside pressures should not deny you personal growth as an individual. Younger generations have paved the way for a social revolution, emphasizing the liberation of the single status. Both females and males are redefining the norm, shedding light on the joys of life in the absence of a significant other. I’m sure we all have one friend who seems to be on the never-ending quest, searching far and wide for the perfect person to complete them. This individual has astrologically charted and meticulously compiled all compatible characteristics of potential suitors. Some may find great happiness in this, but it also may open a person up to vulnerability. Dropping the search for the picture-perfect situation provides a pathway to discover what you truly are seeking, ultimately leading to stronger, healthier relationships. “Because I was single for three years before being in a relationship, I feel like my relationship is a lot more mature,” says Kinesiology student Shama Kassam. “I am a lot less insecure about it; I’m more confident about my relationship and independent. If you go from one relationship to the next you never really get a chance to grow.” Your relationship status can vary between a spontaneous, diverse sex life and a friendly companionship. But keeping an unchanging outlook, vowing to have one or the other indefinitely, will ultimately prevent you from fulfilling aspects of your life that you have yet to experience. Each provides satisfaction in some sense, but have many different things to offer. Seeking a healthy balance between the two is what provides you with happiness in the long run. According to Statistics Canada, first-time brides averaged an age of 31.7 years old in the year 2000, while grooms proclaimed their first marriage vows at an average age of 34.3 years. The number of couples opting out of their marriage has more than doubled since 1981. The notion of early marriage, and childbirth soon after, is far less commonplace today than in generations past. Why, then, does there continue to be a tendency for people to push their personal values of matrimony on others? At times it is merely the vague undertone of pity from a friend in a committed relationship or the prevalence of unavoidable Hallmark holidays that leave many single folk isolated and drowning in a pool of heartfelt gush and romance. Although younger generations bear less social stigma in choosing to be single, social barriers for middle-aged singles continues to be a source of frustration. Greater economic and occupational opportunities have consistently risen the age for first marriages; despite this, singles over a certain age tend to face more scrutiny from family and friends. External pressures place unfair expectations on them, hindering freedom to choose relationship statuses due to fear of isolation, failure and being looked down at by society. From personal experience, my outlook on being single has enabled me to find a balance between my social life and personal life. Finding happiness in a relationship is only one piece of the pie. I never took a personal vow to swear off relationships altogether, but being single for an extended period of time has enabled me to develop confidence and independence. Along the way, you uncover bits of yourself that you may not have known had existed. Conversely, if you are confident with who you are as a person, your relationship will fare a much better chance at flourishing in the long run. What you can offer to the relationship in terms of happiness, spontaneity and adventure will be amplified.

Graphic by Joy Santiago

Perhaps risqué, the television show Sex and the City portrayed four independent, beautiful and sexually liberated women living the big life in New York City. New to the entertainment biz in the late 90’s, the show challenged normative conventions of sex and brought various taboo subjects surrounding sex and relationships to the forefront of national television. It’s fair to suggest the show presented a glamorous, fantastic and exhilarating image of sex. And yet, sex can sometimes be disappointing, lead to venereal disease, pregnancy or a broken heart. Sex is illustrated in various ways in media, and the only way to shatter the illusion of sexual fantasies is to actually experience the act yourself. Although one’s sexual purity isn’t as sacred as the days of poodle skirts and Buddy Holly, the idea of giving away your virginity is often considered a rather large milestone on the path of life. There are various reasons why individuals make the decision to save their virginity. For engaged couple Monika Korosi and Joshua Wolfe, both devout Christians, sex is something to be saved for marriage. “It adds an excitement and anticipation to the marriage,” says Wolfe, a second-year philosophy and music student. Although their religious views have influenced their decision to wait for marriage, Wolfe suggests that this is not the only reason they have decided to get married young. “We mutually agreed right from the start that our relationship would last a long time and that it would eventually result in marriage, so why prolong the inevitable?” explains Wolfe. In a discussion of pre-marital sex, Wolfe says “I certainly understand why people have pre-marital sex and I believe a lot of it comes down to how you view relationships. Waiting for marriage is realistic for us because the dynamic of our relationship is different.” For these young students, marriage is not a far-fetched reality. Completing school, starting a career and sharing a first apartment are all milestones Wolfe and Korosi have decided to experience together as a married couple. However, Wolfe admits that waiting for marriage has never been an easy task. “There’s always a temptation to have sex. There’s a challenged to waiting, but we’ve been mindful of our values and beliefs.” In the Christian community, saving sex for marriage is a commonly shared value, but for third-year philosophy student Seth Enriquez, waiting for marriage just wasn’t in the cards for him. A devout Christian himself, Enriquez often struggles with his past sexual encounters. “Yeah, I did regret my first time,” he says. “At the time I thought it was an achievement, but looking back I wish I could have shared that with someone special.” Enriquez’s says his struggle with sex stems from his past relationship with the Christian faith. “When I lost my virginity, I wasn’t a Christian. Now having embraced the Christian faith fully, I feel as though the faith has shown me a proper understanding of what sex is all about, and I wish I didn’t have to miss out on the experience of waiting for marriage,” explains Enriquez, who developed a sense of guilt when engaging in sexual activity. “My whole understanding of love and loving another per-

son would include loving the way God would want me to love them. I would be betraying my own values, it wouldn’t be an honest love,” says Enriquez. In the past, Enriquez held the view that sex before marriage was vital to a lasting relationship, however his views have altered and he now admits to insecurities. Now, having experienced the positive benefits to having a healthy sex life, Enriquez is concerned of what the future holds for him in terms of sexual relations. Tammi Dupont, fourth-year health science student, is still a virgin but is not waiting for marriage. For Dupont, sex is definitely an important and significant step forward in a relationship, but she simply wants to wait for the right guy. “Sex is almost like that little secret you don’t want anyone to know, but the one person who finally does know and is willing to share their secret with you can be your closet companion,” explains Dupont. She confides that opportunities to lose her virginity have presented themselves, although for whatever reason, having sex just didn’t feel like a step in the right direction. Veronica Greene and Charles Carmichael share a different relationship dynamic than Wolfe and Korosi, and have decided that waiting for sex was not an essential aspect to the prosperity of their relationship. “My first time was special because it was with someone that I love and there wasn’t a reason to wait anymore, says Greene, a third-year English major. “I don’t regret a thing.” For Greene and Carmichael, both parties agree that sex is an important aspect to a relationship. “The physical part of a relationship is just as important as the emotional part. In the end, I don’t think having sex hinders a relationship,” says Carmichael. For Greene, the notion of saving sex for marriage is unrealistic and unnecessary. “I certainly support the idea of waiting for the right person, but I don’t agree with waiting for marriage to have sex,” he says. “I think that if you’re going to commit to being with someone for the rest of your life, you should be comfortable and know everything about that person before you tie the knot.” The risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections is a subject that requires open communication and trust, especially for virgins. Greene says, however, that you don’t need to be experienced to be smart when it comes to the risks of sex. “If you’re smart about what you’re doing, then there’s no reason why it’s any more risky than if I were 30.” Carmichael considers saving sex for marriage an admirable quality, but recognizes some inherent flaws behind waiting. “Some of my friends that have waited until marriage now have regretted their decision,” he says. “Having sex can change so much of the relationship dynamic and if you wait until marriage to figure that out, it could really hurt a relationship.” People are complicated, and developing a healthy, comfortable sex life is different for every person. Sex lives are different for everyone, and your virginity is yours to give. There’s no uniform right or wrong for everyone, but there’s certainly a way that that’s just right for each and every person.

“Adrenaline pumping, the stifled moans and groans, the fear that you’ll be discovered, the quiet hope that someone will see you in the middle of the act...”

anytime

Everywhere Maryann Ashley

arge and Homer were in a rut in their relationship, particularly in the bedroom. Then, one day, they got caught in a rainstorm and had to take shelter in a barn loft. A crazy farmer came rushing in with his pitchfork, looking for intruders. Homer and Marge were terrified that they were going to get caught, but they were also getting caught up in the excitement. Suddenly, their sex rut was over. All right, you’re young, so maybe you’re not experiencing a rut quite yet. But does the fear of getting caught in a barn turn you on? Well, you’re not alone. Having sex in public is becoming a more popular trend, and it’s definitely been added to a lot of bucket lists. Adrenaline pumping, the stifled moans and groans, the fear that you’ll be discovered, the quiet hope that someone will see you in the middle of the act – these are fairly popular fantasies. I’m pretty sure we’ve all heard stories of mysterious condoms lying on floors at concerts or bars at the end of the night. When and how did that happen? Or, there may be whispers of oral happenings over in the corner, and bathroom stalls that have two pairs of feet moving around in them. Youtube even has instructional videos on how to do it properly in public. I did a little survey, asking people about most scandalous place they’ve ever had sex. I also asked them if they had a fantasy location where they’d really like to have sex sometime. There were the standard answers: an elevator, a movie theatre, the dressing room at a clothing store, cars parked near high pedestrian traffic, airplanes (is there anyone who doesn’t want to join the Mile High Club?). But then there were also some unique ones: a gondola in Venice, an amusement park ride, a trampoline, a park bench (in the middle of the day), a golf course. This hot new sex trend is what we typically refer to as exhibitionism, which means deriving sexual gratification from displaying your genitals. This is closely linked to voyeurism, which is when someone takes pleasure in watching an unsuspecting person engaging in some form of sexual activity. CONTINUED

“If the fear of getting caught with your pants off doing the nasty gets you hot, then there’s a little bit of an exhibitionist in you.”

Photos by Jonathon Fairclough & Bahram Dibedan

“...an elevator, a movie theatre, the dressing room at a clothing store, cars parked near high pedestrian traffic, airplanes.”

“We are the recorders and reporters of facts – not the judges of the behaviors we describe.” - Alfred Kinsey

Sex in public is a little bit of a variation of both exhibitionism and voyeurism. Maybe you don’t want to shove your genitals in strangers’ faces, and maybe you don’t want to watch a stranger masturbating, but if the fear of getting caught with your pants off doing the nasty gets you hot, then there’s a little bit of an exhibitionist in you. And if you think it’s sexy when your partner lets you watch them touch themselves, then there’s a bit of a voyeurist in you too. It is often said that the brain is the biggest sex organ, so it’s not a big surprise that people start feeling particularly frisky when they start fooling around in a place where sex is “forbidden.” Getting wrapped up in that constant exhilarating fear of getting caught can make some people get lost in the moment, perhaps even go too far. A lot of people seem to forget that the act is actually illegal. That’s right, you can be charged in Canada for having sex in public. The Criminal Code of Canada defines “public places” as “any place to which the public has access as a right or by invitation.” You can be fined up to $2,000 and face a potential imprisonment period of six months. But these laws are in place for a reason. As erotic as it may seem to potentially get caught in public, the people doing the catching don’t necessarily want to see your naked sweaty bodies thrusting on their favourite park bench. It might be really scarring for them; there might even be children around. Take for example the couple that was arrested in December for having sex on a TTC subway platform at 2:30 in the afternoon. There was enough time before their arrest, though, for someone to take out their cell phone and film the last little bit of the event, which can now be found online. That being said, I have compiled a list, with the help of my survey group, of some of the top locations for banging at McMaster. But I’m not going to give you specific locations for all of them so that you can get creative. Here are ten of the most exciting places on campus to get it on: the student centre, one of the libraries (most likely Mills or Thode), the MSU office/one of the MSU services offices, Cootes Paradise, the roof of any building (ideally University Hall or MUSC), Convocation Hall, Ron Joyce Stadium, the pool balcony, the Wallingford Tea Room and the Planetarium in BSB. Now that you know of some potential places to frolic, there are a couple of tips that you should keep in mind. Getaway clothing is of the utmost importance. Ladies, it will work best if you’re wearing a dress, or a skirt and a loose-fitting top. Gentlemen, you should wear pants you can pull down easily – no belts; they are far too jingly and slow. Finally, try to be a little stealthy about it. It would be nice of you to be as discrete and respectful as possible. Fulfilling fantasies is great, and the excitement of having public, scandalous sex can be intense. Just keep in mind that not everyone is going to think it’s so wonderful – the expression “Get a Room!” exists for a reason.

To the freaks and the conservatives, the birds and the bees, the models and the contributors: we thank you. Sincerely, the Silhouette staff.