Navigating peer pressure

Struggling with peer pressure is something that people often talk about, but never how to overcome it.

Commercials and TV shows typically show peer pressure as something the peers are doing directly, with one vulnerable person not doing it. The peers tell them to do it, and when the vulnerable person says no, they continue to convince the person to do it.

What they don’t discuss, is that sometimes peer pressure is all in your head. Sometimes no one tells you to do something, but you feel like you should. You want them to believe you’re “cool” when you don’t want to feel excluded.

According to Merriam-Webster, peer pressure is a feeling that “one must do the same things as other people of one’s age and social group to be liked or respected by them.”

FOMO: fear of missing out, is a common cause of peer pressure. When a group of people has something they all do, but you don’t do it, you have the feeling of missing out. People don’t want to feel excluded, so they do things they wouldn’t typically do to feel like they’re a part of something. fusion in these situations is a result of a lack of communication or clarity. Being stuck in conflict where one party cannot explain their feelings only leads to chaos. These types of people make you feel as if no matter what you do, it’s never going to be enough. Being there for every call, always being a shoulder to cry on or being the only one who initiates plans. You never do anything wrong but somehow the kindness you offer holds no value. Not just for them, but it feels that way for everyone.

In my freshman year, peer pressure was a struggle for me. I realized that I was changing who I was for the satisfaction of feeling accepted by my friends at the time. I talked to my parents about the urge I had to fit in. They told me I was smart enough to know the right thing to do and that my future shouldn’t be focused on what others are doing. I re-evaluated my goals and my priorities. I focused on what I needed. I met some new friends who respect who I am and have the same goals as me.

It is hard to come to terms with the fact that you need to prioritize your needs first and that you shouldn’t need to change yourself for your friends. If you think your friends or brain are pressuring you to do something you don’t want to, think about the future and the potential outcome of doing this. Put yourself on the path to success and focus on what you want your life to be.

If you find yourself in a position where you start ignoring the consequenc es of something so you can fit in, tell yourself that you don’t need to do this and have it in your head that you are going to say no and stick by your decision. Remember the consequences and have confidence in yourself. Respect yourself enough to where you can be independent in your own actions. If others are encouraging you, tell them you don’t want to do it and you have every right not to. If they keep pressuring you, stick to your choice and if you have to, simply walk away.

It is important to know, no matter how hurtful it may be, that these relationships are never a reflection of who you are or your value as a person. Looking at these potential traits in others offers an explanation of how they act, not an excuse.

Getting over an embarrasing moment

We’ve all been there.

Eyes wide, frozen with fear, sweat beading down your forehead: you got utterly embarrassed.

Embarrassment has many synonyms - shame, self-consciousness or awkwardness. All in all, a typically negative connotation.

It is a fact you’ve messed up sometime in your life. Many times, actually. Maybe once a week, once a I’ll let you in on a little secret: I know you’ve messed up because it’s happened

I have a tendency to say whatever first comes to my mind out loud. It’s a part of who I am. The trait is funny and witty, but has gotten me into some sticky situations. Sometimes class stops after hearing what I said as everyone absorbs the comment.

My friends have told me they have often experienced second hand embarrassment whenever I say or do some- thing of that nature, but I’ve gained the ability to easily get over anything.

It is not like I don’t get embarrassed. Some of those times when I find myself in the moment, I feel like I have to cover my face in my hands and internally scream. Thank you, loud mouth.

Encountering awkward experiences is inevitable and needs to be addressed every time. It doesn’t matter if you’re quiet and try to not be the center of attention: embarrassment targets everyone, no matter how often. It doesn’t get easier, but you can find ways to expertly navigate the situation that you find yourself in.

First off, you need to stop taking yourself too seriously. What you did is not as important as you perceive it as. The world doesn’t really care if your pants ripped or you laughed too loudly. When you get past your own critical viewpoint of yourself and assumptions of other people’s judgment, it’ll help you tremendously.

So, try to stop catering to what you deem as perfect. Be embarrassing, be loud and slip up; everyone will understand because everyone knows what you are going through. Your friends, your siblings, your classmates, even your teachers and parents have tales of their own.

Doing something embarrassing isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Sure, it’ll redden your cheeks and sting in the moment, but in the grand scheme of things, it will not matter. Soon, the world around you will move on from your mistake. As they move along, you should too.

Your reputation or self worth won’t be challenged by the silly errors you commit or embarrassing encounters you have. Getting up and brushing off your shoulders is all that matters.

Hold your head high after it happens, even if you have your friends tease you. Don’t give attention to the whispers and judgmental giggling. Look at this moment as it is: a harmless and funny experience you’ll be able to look back on in the future.

Don’t be afraid to be yourself and get embarrassed. You will be OK.