The Reader Oct. 9 - 15, 2014

DOGTOPIA OF OMAHA Playroom Attendent. Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information.

ALEGENT HEALTH Now Hiring Multiple Positions. Go to OmahaJobs. com for more information.

TRANS-CONTINENTAL CONSULTANTS Senior Electrical Enginerr.

Contact Shan Batheja at sbatheja@batheja.com.

Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information.

OMAHA STEAKS Now Hiring Multiple Positions. Go to OmahaJobs. com for more information.

CENTURY LINK Customer Internet Help Desk – RSA. Contact Paul Stenbo at paul.stenbo@ centurylink.com. Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information.

LIFESTYLE DRAPERY Design Sales Associate.

Contact Walt Grantski at blindman@lifestyledrapery. com. Go to OmahaJobs. com for more information.

WEST CORPORATION Now Hiring Multiple Positions. Go to OmahaJobs. com for more information.

BEST MARK Customer Service Evaluations. Contact jrees@ bestmark.com. Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information.

BELLEVUE AD AGENCY Video/Social Media Person.

Contact Becky Jungers at HMCListing@gmail.com.

Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information.

HAYNEEDLE Seasonal Customer Experience Specialist. Contact Jill Case at jcase@hayneelde. com. Go to OmahaJobs. com for more information.

H&R BLOCK Tax Professional. Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information.

PAYPAL Debit Card & Customer Solutions Teammates. Contact Tracey at apploimyresume@apploi.com. Go to OmahaJobs.com for info.

LIBERTY TAX SERVICE Tax Preparer.

Contact Chad Brown at ChadBrown@Libertytax.com.

Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information.

AT&T Retail Sales Consultant.

Contact Michael Buckley at Michael.buckley.1@att. com. Go to OmahaJobs. com for more information.

SCHIMBERG CO. Class A CDL Route Driver.

Contact Donita Sanderson at hr@schimberg.com. Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information.

OMAHA SHIRTZ Graphic Designer. Contact Brad Richling at brad@ omahashirts.com. Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information.

AURSTAFF Now Hiring Multiple Positions. Go to OmahaJobs. com for more information.

MARRIOTT GLOBAL SALES & CUSTOMER CARE Customer Care Sales Specialist. Contact Colleen Ehrke at Colleen.Ehrke@ Marriott.com. Go to OmahaJobs.com for more info.

BOND #9 NEW YORK Part-Time Luxury Sales Representative.

Contact Lisa Rediker at careers@ bondno9.com. Go to OmahaJobs.com for more info.

BANK OF THE WEST Call Center Customer Service Rep I. Contact Ashton Blaha at ashton.blaha@ bankofthewest.com. Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information METROPOLITAN COMMUNITY COLLEGE Staff positions. Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information.

G&J REMODELING Skilled Remodeler. Contact gjremodeling@abbnebraska.com. Go to OmahaJobs. com for more information.

KRYGER GLASS Overnight Delivery Driver.

Contact HR@KRYGERGLASS.com. Go to OmahaJobs.com for information.

SPIN! PIZZA Servers. Contact Bry@ spinpizza.com. Go to OmahaJobs.com for more infor.

INFOGROUP Telesearch Associate. Contact Jennifer Watts at Jennifer.watts@infogroup.com.

CABELAS Power Sports Service Mechanic. Go to OmahaJobs. com for more information.

I9 SPORTS PROGRAM Youth Sports Program Manager. Go to OmahaJobs.com for information.

THE GREEN SPOT Professional Pet Stylist. Contact Jen Haines at jen@greenspotomaha. com. Go to OmahaJobs. com for more information.

VAN METER INC. Lean Construction Coordinator. Contact Lindsay Perrien at lperrien@vanmeterinc.com. Go to OmahaJobs.com for info.

HPS Painter. Contact Rochelle Heimann at hpspaint@ yahoo.com. Go to OmahaJobs.com for information.

PAYPAL Debit Card & Customer Solutions Teammates. Contact Tracey at apploimyresume@apploi.com. Go to OmahaJobs.com for info.

INDUSTRIAL BATTERY PRODUCTS Rachael Menichetti at Rachael.menichetti@IBPMidwest.com.

AURSTAFF Now Hiring Multiple Positions. Go to OmahaJobs. com for more information.

OFFICE IN THE HEART OF Small, public-facing office available in the heart of South Omaha with shared reception area and conference room. Includes street signage opportunity and internet.

Great Value!

Please contact Clay Seaman, clays@thereader.com or 402-341-7323 x108 if you are interested.

EARN UP TO

2,500

$

HOLIDAY CASH! UP TO $16/HR

GET EMPLOYEE DISCOUNTS ALL YEAR!

JOB FAIRS THIS WEEK

Get hired on the spot and set your schedule!

CALL CENTER:

Monday & Tuesday 8am – 6 pm 10909 John Galt Blvd.

WAREHOUSE:

Wednesday | 8am – 2pm 4808 G St.

$100

CASH PRIZE AT EACH JOB FAIR!

www.OmahaSteaks.com/Jobs © 2014 OCG Omaha Steaks, Inc. | 408HR120

2

OCT. 9 - 15, 2014

| THE READER |

omaha jobs

heartlandhealing N E W A G E H E A LT H A N D W E L L N E S S B Y M I C H A E L B R AU N S T E I N

Diet Sodas Make Us Fat? It’s Much Simpler than Just That

A

study recently published in the journal Nature illuminates a possible reason Western cultures are amidst the throes of the well known obesity epidemic. By taking grant money (our taxes) and working diligently in the rarified atmosphere of laboratories and biometric analyses, some (no doubt well-intentioned) whitecoats have come up with a hypothesis. By the way, why does every single published study end with the phrase, “More research is needed… etc.”? Oh, of course. Where’s that next grant coming from?

These researchers believe they have found an arcane biological pathway along which artificial sweeteners cause obesity. Combining data related to glucose metabolism, blood sugar levels and the current trendy topic of “bacterial population in the gut,” these folks claim to blame a mechanism by which chemical interaction among the intestinal flora, body function and hormonal activity result in increasing fat in the body. It’s not that complex an issue, really. Here’s why.

Fat is. Fat exists. It must have a function. And it does.

One really big one is that it provides a storage locker.

Most of the time we think of the function of fat as a storehouse of energy in case it’s needed in times of famine. Well, that function kind of goes out the window when we realize that, though severely undernourished in most cases, Americans have no lack of calories to eat. Famine has hardly come knocking anywhere in the developed world. But another vital, and far overlooked function of fat is as a storage locker for toxins.

Epidemiologists and environmentalists have long realized that if they want to track the extent that poisons have infiltrated our world, they need only trap some wild fish in the seeming pristine streams of Montana or elsewhere and analyze the fat tissue to find toxins. They don’t look first at organ, muscle or nerve tissue. They look at fat. For the simple reason stated above. Fat is the dumping pot for toxins in the body.

Toxins accumulate in fat tissue. The more toxins, the more fat is needed to store them.

Natural Detox The body has evolved to do a pretty good job of eliminating toxins. The liver and kidneys do the brunt of the work by processing toxins into debris that can be excreted in urine, feces, breathing and sweat. Some toxins are so powerful, though, so poisonous, that the liver can’t pull it off. Think cyanide or arsenic or Vicodin. Then there are the chemicals that the

human body has absolutely no idea what to do with because it’s never encountered those toxins ever before.

We live in a sea of chemicals that has inundated us since the birth of the Industrial Age. It’s not the latest round of artificial sweeteners that are the leaders in the assault on the body. They’re just the trendy scapegoat.

Read this next sentence carefully. Humans have found, invented or synthesized over 50 million different chemicals over the course of history, the vast majority of them since World War II. That’s millions of chemicals the human body, or the world, for that matter, has never been exposed to or had the opportunity to adapt to in all of evolution. A novel substance is either isolated or synthesized every 2.6 seconds on the average, according to Dr. Hideaki Chihara, Ph.D. chemist and former president of Japan Association for International Chemical Information.

With no way to metabolize a chemical or battery of chemicals, the body does the next best thing. It sequesters that unknown compound as far from important body parts as possible. The body shunts toxins away from the heart, brain, organs, muscles, nerves and skeleton and dumps it where it can: in fat cells. And like anyone who has collected too much “stuff,” closets, basements, attics get overloaded and next thing you know, we need more storage space. With the body, that means more fat, bigger fat deposits, a higher ratio of fat to muscle and bone and there you have it: obesity. It’s a myth that we are born with a static number of fat cells. We make more.

Forest for the trees. Myopia is inherent in the nature of reductionist science and evidence of its danger. When we focus on the details, and that’s where the devil is, we lose sight of the obvious. Perhaps it’s a function of overpopulation that we become so reductionist in looking for answers. There are so many of us that we scramble to find self-worth, occupying ourselves with tasks to validate our existence, reducing our interest to picayune matters, thinking the secret must be in our intellectual investigation of the tiny detail. We are inept at taking a more relaxed approach to understanding the universe and struggle when something confounds our analysis. Maybe we don’t need to know everything. Perhaps we would do better with what John Lennon recommended, “The unknown is what it is. Accept that it’s unknown, and it’s plain sailing. Everything is unknown... then you’re ahead of the game. That’s what it is. Right?”

Be well. ,

VISIONS FROM FIVE MINUTES INTO THE FUTURE • OCTOBER 9, 2014 • Halloween will soon become a holiday mostly enjoyed by adults, whose costumes will become some revealing as to be illegal in public, and whose partying will likewise become inappropriate for children. In this way, it will return to an earlier form, when it

was a pagan holiday that included many fertility rituals. Halloween events will become increasingly daring, befitting an adult holiday, including the return of the game snap-apple, in which players compete to bite a spinning apple attached to a lit candle.

HEARTLAND HEALING is a metaphysically based polemic describing alternatives to conventional

methods of healing the body, mind and planet. It is provided as information and entertainment, certainly not medical advice. It is not an endorsement of any particular therapy, either by the writer or The Reader. Visit HeartlandHealing.com for more information.

heartland healing

| THE READER |

OCT. 9 - 15, 2014

3

CELEBRATE FOOD: FOOD DAY AND TOAST OF THE OLD MARKET

BY JESSICA CLEM-MCCLAREN

T

OCT 30 •7:30PM 402-345-0606 • Ticketomaha.com

SING IN THE CHORUS! Rehearsals begin October 12th!

he issue of food insecurity is one that is too familiar here in the United States. Recognizing this nationwide dire issue, the Center for Science in the Public Interest created Food Day, a nationwide event meant to highlight the importance of food availability, and enhance community investment in the health of local food systems.

In an effort to promote the availability of local food for all, the Gretchen Swanson Center for Nutrition partnered with The Reader, the Omaha Farmers Market and other local vendors to organize our own Food Day celebration, held on October 11th on 11th and Howard Street.

“Our food day is celebrated during the end of harvest season and during the wind down of the farmers market,” said Craig Howell, coordinator for the Hunger Collaborative. “It is a celebration of our local foods and our commitment to promote our local food and vendors.”

The national priorities of the Food Day movement include the promotion of healthy diets, supporting sustainable and organic farms, reforming factory farms, and supporting the working conditions of food and farm workers. For the Omaha Food Day, the celebration will focus on the importance of food availability. “Food Day is a celebration for all ages, races, income levels, and zip codes,” said Howell. “When we promote and encourage a strong local food system, we all win.”

With “Eat Real” as the national line, Food Day participants can expect to learn plenty about the issue of food insecurity in Omaha, along with other fun activities from a variety of vendors and farmers with samples to try and products to sell. “This year’s event will have a focus on local and farm to table restaurants and nutrition education,” said Howell. “There will also be local farmers and vendors to talk with, and we at the Hunger Collaborative will be available to talk about our work to end hunger.”

Food insecurity isn’t limited to the very poor; it is an issue that can permeate any class

crumbs

SUNDAY, NOV. 23, 2014 | 3:00 PM Holland Performing Arts Center

VoicesofOmaha.org 4

OCT. 9 - 15, 2014

| THE READER |

dish

■ THANKSSHARING It’s not too early to start thinking about who you plan to invite to your home for Thanksgiving dinner, especially if you plan on inviting a bunch of people you don’t know yet. Raise money for local food banks by signing up to host a ThanksSharing dinner and inviting people who probably wouldn’t otherwise enjoy a home-cooked meal on Thanksgiving because they don’t live near family. www.mealsharing.com ■ USE SEASONING, HELP TEAM JACK Buy some of the signature seasonings available from Big Red Restaurant and Sports Bar and help support the Team Jack Foundation, an organization dedicated to funding research for pediatric brain cancer. Buy at the restaurant or at select grocery stores and proceeds go to Team Jack. Choose between Buffalo Ranch, Parmesan Ranch or Molasses Bacon, or just buy all three. http://bigredrestaurantandsportsbar.com/ ■ PROVISIONS HOSTING COOKING CLASSES Clayton

or family size. Urging community members to understand and care for this issue is one that Food Day organizers are hoping to address.

“It is utterly, unnecessary and intolerable that we have children in our city that do not know where their next meal is coming from, said Howell. “We are not accepting that reality.”

Strength is found in numbers, and organizations like the Hunger Collaborative of Heart Ministry Center, Heartland Hope Mission, Together, and Food Bank of the Heartland are collaborating to bring this issue to light for all.

“We are all leading sustainable change and committed to ending chronic reliance upon our food pantries by providing resources to people, access to nutritious foods, and addressing the root causes of food insecurity.”

The Omaha Farmers Market has already opened the doors for availability by accepting SNAP benefits at the market. With Food Day, the market is being extended an extra week to run through October 20th. This event will also include Toast of the Old Market, a festival and restaurant tour celebrating everything wonderful about Omaha’s food scene.

Food Day will run from 8:30 a.m. to 12:30 pm with the Toast of Omaha running until 10 pm downtown. “Many, if not all, of our organizations committed to local food movements will be present,” said Howell. “This is an opportunity for people to taste fabulous food, learn about urban farming and community gardens, and learn how to get involved with local efforts to lift people out of poverty and find sustainable solutions to hunger.”

This year’s Food Day event is more than an opportunity to learn about good food; it’s about learning how to cultivate a healthy community. There is power in our food choices, and we can move mountains by helping our farmers, and therefore our community, by choosing local. , For more information: www.oldmarket.com Chapman’s Provisions in Midtown Crossing will start hosting cooking classes starting at the end of October.

Some of the upcoming classes include Basic Knife Skills (Oct. 25), Canning & Preserving (Nov. 1) and Thanksgiving Side Dishes (Nov. 8). Call for reservations or to ask about future classes. www.midtowncrossing.com ■ PIZZA PARTNERSHIP Godfather’s Pizza recently celebrated their 10th anniversary of their partnership with Boys Town, which explains why the Boys Town hotline number appears on the boxes for Godfather’s pizzas.

Godfather’s also gives financial assistance to Boys Town and gives away a bunch of free pizzas as reading incentives to Boys Town students. This is a great example of a national company helping out an Omahabased organization. www.godfathers.com — Tamsen Butler Crumbs is about indulging in food and celebrating its many forms.

Send information about area food and drink businesses to crumbs@ thereader.com.

O N L Y

T W O

P E R F O R M A N C E S

rigoletto

by Giuseppe Verdi

Friday, October 17, 2014 | 7:30 pm Sunday, October 19, 2014 | 2:00 pm Orpheum Theater

Tickets start at $19

CALL TICKET OMAHA AT (402) 345-0606 BUY ONLINE AT OPERAOMAHA.ORG | THE READER |

OCT. 9 - 15, 2014

5

coldcream

L I V E S

W O R T H

T

A

o some people the words “American Buffalo” suggest a legendary large animal whose herds have been long roaming all over this part of the nation. i.e bison. But, by now, a large number of other people know that this refers to a famed collectible coin. Like the one which underpins the eponymous play by David Mamet. His numerous works have been ranging stages all over the world.

And this guy’s dialogue has become the cause for coining a famous phrase, “Mamet speak.”

Getting down to history, this American Buffalo has become some kind of a legend itself. The New York Times hailed this breakthrough work as “Gripping drama.” Flourishing for almost three decades. Award winner. Major acclaim.

Among the impressed is Susan Clement-Toberer, producing artistic director of Blue Barn Theatre.

She chose to present and direct it as the opener of the Theatre’s final season in its current home before the company re-situates. Reason? The play stole the spotlight in Blue Barn’s first season 25 years ago. “A perfect wrap -up,” she says.

She’s never directed Mamet’s work before. A big challenge, according to her. Fractured dialogue. Broken sentences. Deliberate silent pauses. Long ones.

Ludicrously comic moments. Yet “super rhythmic.

Shakespeare on the edge.” Quoting the playwright: “A kind of iambic pentameter of the underclass.”

There’s profanity. Lots of it. Damn straight. You knew that, huh? “Swearing is not for shock value,” she points out, “but an integral component of his charac-

6

OCT. 9 - 15, 2014

P L U G G E D

N I C K E L

ters.” Another quote from the writer: “profane poetry” So that’s it? This is all about style? No way, pal.

Mamet speaks: “The play is about the American ethic of business, about how we excuse all sorts of great and small betrayals and ethical compromises called business.” He was angry about business when he set furious pencil to paper, his preferred method, even today.

How does that point manifest itself in this epithetpeppered slice of life about honor among thieves?

Ponder it from witnessing three small-time crooks, hanging out in a grubby junkshop, scheming to rob a coin collector and cop that valuable hunk of metal. Plus some critics see this as zeroing in on typical American men, trying to hide their feelings, trying to manipulate other men. Small talkers. Yup. Not big on decisive action.

Mamet has said, in Paris Review, that criminals fascinate him because they “subsume outsiders” accepting people with “not very well-formed egos,” doing things which “reward the ability to improvise.”

As for why he came up with writing this play, it was spurred by a moment in Chicago when he dropped in on friend and actor William Macy. Both of them, he said “were screamingly poor.” Mamet swiped a big piece of cheese out of Macy’s refrigerator. Macy got really angry. Mamet says that he was so hurt by his friend’s attitude that he started writing about it. That became the kick-off to the play.

Despite the personalities of these mugs in American Buffalo, their bravado, their inevitable nastiness, they have something softer hidden within. Clement-Tober-

| THE READER |

culture

B Y

G O R D O N

S P E N C E R

er sees suggestions of that, given that the setting is the 70s. “There’s an innocence that precisely belongs to that time and to the U.S. Things that happen there wouldn’t be the same today.”

Her cast: Thomas Becker, Jerry Longe and Jonathan Purcell. As for other reasons why she chose to offer this, it’s a gut feeling. Like anything she decides to produce, she wants the words to move her from the page, propelling her to bring them to life. Such an internal response also accounts for deciding to present in the same season Joshua Harmon’s Bad Jews (“excitingly new and moving”) which provoked Broadway audiences late in 2013 followed by the classic Our Town by Thornton Wilder (“comfortable, causing us to connect.”). As for intending a link among the three: “It’s a kinesthetic response,” she explains, “that causes me to put them together.” Perhaps, too, she observed that a small treasured object in Harmon’s script is a major focal point, like Mamet’s buffalo nickel. And that Harmon, writing about family, shows kinship to Wilder’s people. Plus, of course, all three authors are Americans writing about Americans.

Regarding Mr. Mamet you might be interested to know, if you don’t already, that he was awarded the Pulitzer Prize in 1984 for Glengarry Glen Ross. Among his 20 other plays are Race and Speed the Plow. You may recall that Omaha Community Playhouse had a first-rate production of the former about four months ago. And Omaha’s Circle Theatre has announced plans to stage the latter in November. Among Mamet’s 25 screenplays are The Verdict, Hoffa and Wag the

■ The BLUEBARN Theatre is currently tackling the David Mamet classic American Buffalo, running now through Oct. 25. The theater first performed the play in its inaugural season back in 1989. Now, director Susan Clement-Toberer takes the reigns maneuvering Mamet’s unique rhythms with a three-person cast of Omaha theater veterans (Thomas Becker, Jerry Longe and Jonathan Purcell).

Becker plays the role of Teach, a man he says “is desperate to be more than he his but he is broken.”

“He is chasing an imaginary win and the win is what takes precedence over everything and everyone,” Becker said. “To ask myself, as an actor, whether or not Teach is lying about a thing is almost a mute point; if he is lying he makes himself believe his own lie as quickly as he utters it.”

Longe plays the shop owner, Donny. Quite simply, Longe said, “Donny thinks he’s a nice guy. He is not.”

Purcell, who plays the young junkie Bobby, talked about the uniqueness of rehearsing and performing Mamet. “The story is tragically beautiful,” he said. “It’s gripping and pretty funny too, that’s a dynamite blueprint. The writing is perfect for the three characters he’s created and very realistic. They interrupt, stammer, and they hem & haw as folks do, and yet it’s a Swiss watch at the same time. There’s a rhythm you just have to find together, and a pace you have to keep. If you don’t, or you lose it, it’s just not the same story and people can tell.”

Becker echoed the sentiment saying, “This is the most difficult piece I’ve ever taken on. Thank God I’m with the best director, cast and crew I’ve ever worked with. When we get it right it’s music.”

■ Younger audiences can check out The Rose Theater’s staging of the Dr. Seuss classic The Cat in the Hat, running now through Oct. 19.

The show features Noah Diaz in the title role alongside Robby Stone, Jackie Krappes, Lauren Krupski, Sue Gillespie Booten and Aaron Ellis.

Director Kevin Ehrhart said of the show, “This is a story that seems simple on the surface, but has a much deeper meaning. It is a story about resilience. In life, things get crazy and then come out the other side. You just have to approach chaos with flexibility and joy. If you can have a little bit of fun during the wild ride, all the better.”

— William Grennan Cold Cream looks at theater in the metro area. Email information to coldcream@thereader.com

Dog and his movie House of Games won Best Film and Best Screenplay awards at the 1987 Venice Film Festival and Film of the Year in the 1989 London Critics Circle Film Awards.

About taking on a Mamet script for the first time, Clement-Toberer adds “It’s terrifying and exhilarating. But that’s what good theatre is.” , American Buffalo plays Oct. 2-25 at Blue Barn Theatre 614 S. 11th St. Omaha. Thurs-Sat: 7:30 p.m. Sun: 6 p.m.

Tickets: $25-$30. Info at www.bluebarn.org

| THE READER |

OCT. 9 - 15, 2014

7

overtheedge LIFESTYLE COLUMN BY TIM MCMAHAN

As the blue light fades, memories from No. 32

W

ANTHEM

OCT 31 | 8PM COME AS YOUR FAVORITE LEGENDARY ROCKER! COSTUME CONTEST HOSTED BY BIG DADDY FROM KOOL 99.5 DRINK SPECIALS

PLATINUM ROCK LEGENDS PERFORMING

15 ADMISSION GET YOUR TICKETS ONLINE OR AT THE ROCK SHOP TODAY! $

FEEL LIKE A ROCK STAR!

in one of our 54 boutique hotel rooms and suites. Make your reser vation online or call toll free 84 4 .222.7625

111 3RD STREET

I SIOUX CITY, IA 51101 I HARDROCKCASINOSIOUXCITY.COM

* Earn entries for every 25 slot points earned or 5 entries for every hour of rated table play. Must be present to win.

Must be 21 or older. If you or someone you know needs gambling treatment, call 800. BETS OFF.

e headed out to Kmart Saturday after I read via The Reader’s Facebook page that the store was closing.

First thing I noticed after bracing my way through the crowd headed the other direction with armloads of stuffed white poly bags was the gray tape stripe on the floor. It split in two directions, one toward Health & Beauty, the other toward Apparel.

Neon orange signs had been taped on shelves, on end-caps, on stacks of appliances piled on the floor.

“Closing sale. 10 to 30 percent off lowest marked price!” Not much of a discount, but it was only the first week. That number would climb -- 25 to 50 percent, 75 percent. Until nothing was left but broken toys.

I wasn’t there to pick up deals. I was there to see if I recognized anyone from the old days.

Foolish. My co-workers were long gone.

I worked at Kmart right out of high school. Back then, this store on 134th and Maple was located off 108th and Maple — 108th Emmett, to be precise.

Unlike today, when any tat-covered, blue-haired teenager with a pissed off look can get a job at almost any store, restaurant or fast-food joint, in the early ’80s, part-time jobs were scarce. I’d applied at all the usual places — Baker’s, Food City, even a telemarketing company on 90th Street. I never got a call back.

The only reason I landed that Kmart job was because my dad, who owned a salvage store in Fremont, had done business with Mr. Speckman, the store manager.

Even then, it took some convincing, but I got on, hauling manure and watering plants in the Garden Shop after being indoctrinated in the checkouts.

When summer ended, I sold appliances and picked up extra hours in the warehouse.

I loved working at Kmart. And though it’s been more than 25 years, I still dream about it and remember some of the arcane numeric systems — the codes.

For example, all employees were assigned a number used for in-store announcements. My number was 32, as in “Thirty-two to the registers please, 32.” Steve was 41. Matt was 51. Rob was 55. Janie was 2. The store manager was 300. Strangely, I don’t remember my old girlfriend’s number. There’s probably a reason for that.

Every product category also had a number. Hardware was Dept. 5. Home improvement was 61. Appliances was 6. School supplies was 25. Housewares, 41.

Toys, 4. Glassware, 22. Some nights, instead of counting sheep, I run through these numbers in my head in an effort to nod off.

The work was mundane. Time was divided between the checkouts, stocking shelves, warehouse work or

helping customers. If you had something to do, time went by fast. If you didn’t, it crawled. There were no smart phones to fill in the empty spaces. I don’t know how anything gets done at discount stores these days. I know if I’d had a smart phone back then, I never would have gotten anything done.

Eventually they trusted me enough to let me work overnight stocking shelves, where they literally locked you in — an effort to protect both you and them from thieves. One night I was handed a can of lacquer thinner and a putty knife and was told to scrape the old red tape-stripe off the linoleum floor.

That red stripe had to be gone by sun-up to make way for the new gray stripe.

The first thing I did after 300 locked me in was carry a boom box from the appliances department to the courtesy counter, where I taped down the handle on the PA microphone (used to announce Blue Light Specials). By pointing the mic at the boom box, I became the store’s resident deejay.

It would be the first and last time bands like Guadalcanal Diary, The Reivers and The Replacements would ring throughout a Kmart.

The beauty of any hourly job was knowing your day started when you punched the clock and ended when you punched the clock again. Every Friday after 5 p.m. we all walked to the cash cage in the back of the store to pick up our envelope.

That’s right. Kmart paid its hourly employees in cash once a week. I guess they figured we would spend some of our hard-earned money before we left the store, and most of us did.

I worked part-time at Kmart for five years, which helped pay my way through UNO. My last wage was $5.10 an hour. I quit shortly after I got an internship at Union Pacific that led to a freelance job that led to a career. I remember picking up my last envelope and saying goodbye to my comrades, like a parolee leaving prison, knowing some of them were bound to end up lifers.

I left them all behind. I couldn’t tell you where ol’ 41 or 55 or 51 or 2 are today. Some of them, like me, moved onto other jobs and other lives. Some of them are dead. And some of them still work at Kmart somewhere, but not at this store, not today.

Eventually there will be no more Kmarts. Every store will be squeezed out of the market by Wal-mart and Cosco and Sam’s Club. And when the last Kmart closes, we’ll lose a piece of merchandising history that will fade away like the dimming glow of a Blue Light Special, with an echoing call in the distance, “Attention Kmart shoppers…” ,

OVER THE EDGE is a weekly column by Reader senior contributing writer Tim McMahan focused on culture, society, music, the media and the arts. Email Tim at tim.mcmahan@gmail.com. And be sure to check out his blog at Lazy-i.com

8

OCT. 9 - 15, 2014

| THE READER |

over the edge

W

ant to change the future? become a

(We’ll save you a seat.)

402-930-3000 • mentor@p4k.org

| THE READER |

OCT. 9 - 15, 2014

9

ON SALE NOW! An Evening With

DAVID SEDARIS

CELEBRATING THE PAPERBACK RELEASE OF

Get into the Halloween Spirit with an Evening of Scary Movie Music!

L e t ’s E x p l o r e D i a b e t e s Wi t h O w l s

Jaws • Harry Potter • Beetlejuice Poltergeist • The Exorcist • Vertigo Bram Stoker’s Dracula • The Omen The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Call 402.345.0606 | 24-hour ticketing at omahasymphony.org

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 30

HOLLAND PERFORMING ARTS CENTER FOR TICKETS

ONLINE: TicketOmaha.com CALL: 402.345.0606 OR VISIT: 1200 Douglas Street

DavidSedarisOnTour.com 10

OCT. 9 - 15, 2014

| THE READER |

CELEBRATE THE SEASONS IN O M A H A’ S H I S T O R I C O L D M A R K E T

SATURDAY, OCT. 11, 2-10 P.M. TH 11

STREET FESTIVAL LIVE MUSIC

SANDY CREEK BLUERGRASS BAND, LUIGI, INC., MATT WALLACE FUSION FORCE, JOSH HOYER & THE SHADOWBOXERS & ORENDA FINK

Retail & Restaurant Tour

2nd Saturday Art Walk

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 11 8:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m.

On the Menu Sweet or spicy links with peppers and onions and cheese tortellini with pesto cream. Meatball sub with tortellini and pesto cream. Full Bar with Hurricane and Margarita stands.

World-renown, homemade artisan sourdough baguette sandwiches with a variety of offerings, including La Buvette’s house pate, rillette and assorted meat and cheeses. Full wine offerings inside with a special offering outside of a Beaujolais, Bordeaux and Alsace Riesling.

Here’s to You! As The Reader continues its 20 Year Anniversary celebrations, we’re exceptionally pleased to help bring you the first Old Market street festival and tour in over 18 years — PayPal’s Toast of the Old Market — this Saturday, Oct. 11.

Beer Braised Bratwurst | Sauerkraut | Baked Bun • Pork Shank Sauerbraten | Spatzle • Wood Fired Bone-In Chicken Breast | Riesling Sauce • Bavarian Pretzel Bites | Ale Mustard Dipping Sauce • German Potato Salad Biers: • Uptoberfest • Firehouse Red Lager • Old Market Hefeweizen • Aydee Smoked Alt • Bugeater Root Beer – Non-alcoholic

We might know a thing or two about that, having once upon a time helped organize the Old Market Block Party back when our audience was much like us at that age — more interested in the cheapest drink than the finer offerings. Our first real office was on the 2nd floor of the Firehouse Dinner Theater and we got the boot to 1618 Harney when the Upstream Brewing Company came in to remodel. Wisdom from experience and growth from age has refined our tastes and that’s reflected in this exceptional opportunity to explore the Old Market.

Through our work recapturing the Old Market Facebook page, redeploying OldMarket.com and helping the Old Market Business Association grow its paid membership, we’ve long been hearing an interest in more events in the Old Market. A puzzle piece of landlords and businesses, organizing any event in this area takes a fair amount of consensus and we’ve worked hard to include every business we can.

We hope you enjoy the various offerings, listed below:

Food Day at the Farmer’s Market

Omaha’s 4th Annual Food Day -- our Earth Day for Food -- moves to the second to last Farmer’s Market of the season. 8am-12:30pm

The 11th Street Festival

Immediately following the Farmer’s Market, relax and enjoy the music and fine food and drink offered on 11th Street from 2-10 p.m. The Sandy Creek Bluegrass Band kicks off the stage followed by Luigi, Inc., Matt Wallace Fusion Force and Josh Hoyer & the Shadowboxers.

Food and Drink available from Upstream’s Oktoberfest offerings, La Buvette’s Wine Fete pairings and Spaghetti Works Sagre menu.

Retail & Restaurant Tour

Scout the Shops of the Old Market with the Old Market Retail Tour, featuring specials, giveaways, in-store events, unique offerings and sidewalk sales. Participating merchants include Tannenbaum, Overland Sheepskin, Niche, McLovin, Souq, Lotus and more! Stop by to taste the specials from some of Omaha’s most celebrated restaurants.

2nd Saturday Art Tour

Celebrate creativity in Omaha’s most historic neighborhood from over a dozen galleries, including Passageway Gallery, White Crane Gallery, Artist’s Coop, Images of Nature and more!

2

OCT. 9 - 15, 2014

| THE READER | toast of the old market

Josh Hoyer and The Shadowboxers

Josh Hoyer and The Shadowboxers is a project formed in late 2012 in famed blues town Lincoln, Nebraska. For the last 15 years, Hoyer has been very in demand as a performer in his previous bands, as a solo artist behind the piano and as a session musician and arranger. Spending much of his time booking and promoting in Lincoln at the legendary Zoo Bar and beyond, Hoyer is an influential part of the funk, soul and blues youth movement. His current 9-piece Soul band includes some of the areas most revered and accomplished musicians, many of whom have toured nationally and internationally, teach music and are asked to back up bands live and in the studio.

The band’s sound and passion come from their deep respect, knowledge of and passion for blues, Americana, soul, funk, and many other styles of music.

Luigi Inc.

Luigi Inc is a 5 piece jazz combo located in Omaha, Nebraska.

Founded by the late jazz legend, Luigi Waites, Luigi Inc (short for including, not incorporated) has the distinct honor of maintaining one of the longest running gigs in the country, performing over 1850 consecutive Sundays at Mr. Toad in Omaha’s old Market!

That’s right, since 1978, the bands weekly performances have served a mixture of jazz standards, popular music, and original tunes to the Mr. Toad faithful. Although the groups instrumentation and personnel has changed some over the years, Luigi Inc’s current lineup of saxophonist Curt McKean, guitarist Jeff Scheffler, bassist Steve Gomez, drummer Steve Knight, and trumpeter Doyle Tipler have a combination of more than 100 years with the group. Luigi Inc. has four recordings to date, Luigi Inc, Fear Not, Distant Relatives, and Luigi Inc – Live at Mr. Toad (due to release this Summer). Luigi Waites passed away in early April of 2010, but as the late jazz icon would have it, the music continues on.

Sandy Creek Bluegrass Band

In 1975, the Sandy Creek bluegrass band was formed and immediately realized incredible success. Performing at packed Omaha, Lincoln, and Midwest venues, the band was a rock solid five-man bluegrass ensemble, offering great harmony and solid picking. Fast forward 35 years- Call it evolution. The Sandy Creek bluegrass band has evolved into a cohesive, six-man bluegrass unit for the 21st Century… Featuring flawless twin fiddles, contest winning guitar picking, foot stomping banjo, Dobro, mandolin, and the same high lonesome harmonies. They smoothly deliver all the new and old bluegrass favorites in such a relaxed fashion you’ll feel like they are jamming in your living room. All of the band members have been bluegrass musicians throughout their careers and never depart from that core sensibility. But like the earliest icons, they also push the bluegrass envelope.

Orenda Fink

Throughout her time with Azure Ray and over the course of her solo career, Orenda Fink has never shied from exploring the darker edges of spirituality and the human condition.

On her debut solo album Invisible Ones, Orenda explored traditional Haitian ritual and mysticism. She then followed that up with an examination of the Southern Gothic subconscious on Ask the Night. Needless to say, death has been visible in much of her music. On her latest album, Blue Dream, she looks deeply at the subject, reflecting upon a year-long meditation on death that started with a dog named Wilson and the words of Laurie Anderson. “Just look at yesterday, and what you were doing, and how important it was, and how nonexistent it is now! How dreamlike it is! Same thing with tomorrow. So where are we living? Tibetans have unbelievably fascinating answers to that. This is what I’m studying because my dog died.” -Laurie Anderson. Orenda was sent this quote by her friend Nina Barnes after Wilson, Orenda’s dog of 16 years, died. That year she found herself on a deeply personal search for the meaning of death. Pieces of answers, coded in riddle, came to her in dreams. Her dreams began to tell a story – about life and death and the afterlife, reality, and the fine line between the conscious and subconscious world. She then spent the next year understanding the experience and filtering it through the musical inspirations of Smog, Violetta Parra, and Kate Bush to craft Blue Dream. The album truly came together at ARC in Omaha, NE with the help of producers Ben Brodin and Todd Fink (The Faint), along with drummer Bill Rieflin (Ministry, Swans, R.E.M., King Crimson).

Matt Wallace Fusion Force

Despite being student body president of Oakdale Elementary and partly responsible for helping choose their Tiger Mascot, Matt Wallace began playing the alto saxophone at the age of 10 because “W” was at the end of the alphabet and every other instrument was taken. He played his first professional gig with the popular big band “Resurrected Swing” at age 13 on baritone saxophone and it was jazz clubs by night, junior high by day. At 16 he appeared on the front page of the daily’s entertainment section with Dizzy Gillespie. The two men would later become friends traveling in Europe and the US together playing dates all over the world. After having been named an outstanding soloist at every jazz competition Westside High School participated in during his 3 years there, he made his mark at UNL in political science, still recording, now with American Gramaphone. In May of 1987, The Matt Wallace Fusion Force opened 2 shows for Jazz Hall of Famer Maynard Ferguson. Six weeks later, Wallace started an 11-year, 10-record, 70-country career with the trumpet great in Telluride Colorado. In addition to opening for the Omaha Symphony at the official city Sesquicentennial Celebration, Wallace and his band soft-opened the Holland Center for Performing Arts. Working with Jeremy and Jon Hegg starting in 2007 has netted them 7 records. Recently, Wallace and The Heggs scored big with a track on the new 2014 release “Thick Custard,” a Bruce Hornsby Charity record, where they perform with Branford Marsalis’s young drummer, Justin Faulkner. They perform a live version of “The Way It Is” recorded live at The Havana Garage November 9, 2012. He served as musician and Musical Director of a web-based television show, “Darkwood Brew” for more than 120 episodes, which featured live original jazz starting in 2010 and still perform as a “Brews Brother” on the show to this day.

toast of the old market

| THE READER |

OCT. 9 - 15, 2014

3

Imaginarium, Register to win one of five $10 gift certificates.

Jackson Street Tavern, Mention TOAST13 to your server and get 10% off entire bill.

Joe’s Antiques, 20% off purchase if you mention the secret word: TOASTJOE.

go to www.toastoftheoldmarket.com for the most complete and up-to-date information All About Me, Instore sales and scarf tying demonstrations with handouts.

Ashley Collectibles, Stop by to register to win gift certificates.

Bemis, Urban Design Lab exhibit open till 5pm.

Big Brain Tattoo, $10 off any piercing.

Boosted Dreamz Glass, Large e-juice testing station and 50% off all e-juices, select home décor clearance items.

Cibola’s Jewelry, Buy any one item at full price, receive a second item of equal or lesser value for 50% off” **excludes 14k gold items. Offer only valid during Toast!

Curb Appeal Salon, 10% off any retail purchase.

Goldsmith Silversmith, Register to win one of three gift certificates, from $50 to $100.

Havana Garage, 1/2 off Havana Garage Cocktails.

Hiro 88, Get a free order of crab rangoon with the purchase of two entrees.

Homer’s, Sidewalk Sale 12-5pm, 1000’s of CD’s & DVD’s $1 each.

Images of Nature, Register to win the coffee table book The Natural World (also gallery walk stop).

Kaneko, Exhibit showcases works from 3 internationally renowned figures in Industrial & Architectural design: Cedric Harman Selected Works, Olson Kundig: Anthology and Wallace Cunningham: reality < an idea - Free admission, open till 5pm.

Little King, Buy a sandwich and chips, get a large drink free.

Niche, Register to win special giveaways.

Old Market Artists Gallery, Donating 10% of all sales to The Food Bank.

Omaha Massage, Free Chair Massages, Coupons for $15 off first appointment, drawing for a free half hour massage and a Therapist on location to offer massage or educate on services.

Overland Sheepskin, Register to win one of four sheepskin pelts or two $100 gift certificates.

S.G. Roi, Buy two get one free on select cigars.

It’s time for Toast of the Old Market! As Omaha residents gear up for delicious eats, did you know that the PayPal mobile app can help make your dining experience that much more enjoyable? Whether you plan on going to dinner or shop you’ll want to use PayPal to pay. Here are three simple reasons why: ● You can leave your wallet at home. Check in on the app at a participating restaurant, and your name and photo appears on the shop’s payment system, so you can pay with your phone. ● Forget having to wait for the server to run your card or give you change. You can view your bill, give a tip and pay your restaurant bill all through the PayPal app. ● You’ll be getting a deal. There will be special offers when you pay with the PayPal app – enhance your Old Market experience and save money at the same time!

PayPal helps people make purchases anytime, anywhere, and any way they chose. PayPal helped drive ecommerce 15 years ago by solving a real problem for consumers, while adding an extra layer of security. Today, we are looking to solve another problem for consumers and adding value to their lives by saving time and money when shopping with their mobile phone.

Silo, Vans footwear, Fjallraven backpacks and Silo brand apparel on sale.

Spaghetti Works, Buy one get one, up to a $10 value.

The Lotus, MAH Prentice will be doing freestyle henna tattoos for $5 each.

The Passageway Gallery, Donating 10% of all sales to The Food Bank.

The Teasmith, NEW Fall drinks and teas, sampling some exciting new drinks (also gallery walk stop).

Trini’s, Register to win one of two $25 gift certificates.

Zio’s, Pizza tossing and stretching.

McLovin’s, Receive 10% off any one item when you mention TOAST at time of purchase

4

OCT. 9 - 15, 2014

| THE READER | toast of the old market

toast of the old market

| THE READER |

OCT. 9 - 15, 2014

5

Building on the success of First Friday Old Market stroll the Old Market’s distinctive brick streets as you’re serenaded by live music. Ignite your imagination in the art galleries, where you might explore a fresh perspective in the bold brushstrokes of a painting or in the contours of a bronze sculpture. Glimpse views of faraway lands and intense emotions. Visit any of these Old Market gallery spaces during their regular hours:

6

OCT. 9 - 15, 2014

Old Market Artists

Artists’ Cooperative Gallery

White Crane Gallery

Downing Properties

Passageway Gallery

Anderson O’Brien

Images of Nature

Omaha Clayworks

Kaneko

Teasmith

Bemis Center

And More...

| THE READER | toast of the old market

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 11

8:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. O L D M A R K E T FA R M E R ’ S M A R K E T Food Day is a nationwide celebration and a movement toward healthy, affordable, and sustainable food. Think of it as an Earth Day for food! Food Day’s goals are to raise awareness about food issues among broader public, strengthen and unify the food movement, and improve our nation’s food policies.

FOOD DAY PARTICIPANTS: l City Sprouts l Cooking Matters, Cooking demonstration as well as nutrition info and a learning activity. l Edible Omaha, Pick up your copy of Edible Omaha magazine and check out the display of art from The Lexicon of Sustainability. l Food Bank for the Heartland l Gretchen Swanson Center for Nutrition, Visually demonstrate the fat content (with Crisco) of 5 ʺstandardʺ kids meals as well as their lack of representation by the 5 food groups. Offering MyPlate map of food sources along with information about ʺWhy local foods matter in NEʺ. l Guckenheimer, Offering flyers that promote good eating as well as recipes from ths sampling menu: Grilled Local Sweet Corn, and Tomato on Roasted Garlic Crostini with Fresh Thyme and Parmesan and Wheatberry, Peach, and Fennel Salad with Goat Cheese, and Fresh Mint l Hunger Free Heartland, Working with area organizations to improve access to health, affordable food for children who are food insecure.

l Massena Farms, Consumers and investor information on new organic farms and gardens for the Omaha area. l Natural Grocers, healthy eating tips and more information on classes l Nebraska Agriculture Council of the Humane Society of Nebraska l No More Empty Pots l Paradigm Gardens, Omaha’s family-owned retail store committed to providing excellent, quality, progressive gardening products since 1999. l Ralston Public Schools, Handing out fruit and vegetable bookmarks that the kids can color in and keep, as well as word searches, cross-words and kid recipe hand-outs. l Saving Grace Perishable Food Rescue, Explain perishable food rescue, including types of food and criteria for food rescue along with educating on the sustainability of using edible but not sellable food to feed our hungry neighbors while saving our landfills. l The Big Garden, Distributing organic heirloom seeds and potting herbs for small indoor kitchen gardens, pamphlets with info on our program. l Truck Farm Omaha, Hands-on learning experience in the soil as well as tastings from straight from the garden. l John Ikerd’s Humane Farming Discussion, 3-5 p.m. OM Healing Arts, 1216 Howard Street The Humane Society of the United States invites you to a free discussion regarding animal welfare within the U.S. food system. The

HSUS celebrates farmers and ranchers who give proper care to their animals, act in accordance with the basic ethics of compassion and practice humane and environmentally sustainable agriculture. This event, held in collaboration with the Nebraska Sustainable Agriculture Society, will provide you with knowledge on the impact of industrialized agriculture. Dr. John Ikerd, Professor Emeritus of Agricultural & Applied Economics, University of Missouri Columbia, will share his unique perspective on the catastrophic impact of industrialized agriculture. You’ll also learn which Nebraska farmers raise their animals humanely and sustainably, giving you an alternative to factory farmed food. Cheese samples, snacks and beverages will be available Restaurants offering Food Day Omaha Specials l Grey Plume, Midtown Crossing, 763-4447, thegreyplume.com/ Whole Roasted Blue Valley Steelhead Trout from the Ogallala Aquifer in Sutton, NE. l Kitchen Table, 1415 Farnam St., 933-2810, kitchentableomaha.com (Friday night, Oct. 10) Local Maitake Mushroom Lasagna with House Noodles & Ricotta, Branched Oak Mozzarella and either Marinara OR Meat Sauce and a Little Salad of Local Greens Ask your favorite restaurant for a special with locallysourced ingredients.

8949 J Street • (402) 339-4949 ParadigmGardens.com

toast of the old market

| THE READER |

OCT. 9 - 15, 2014

7

8

T H E R E A D E R ’ S E N T E RTA I N M E N T P I C K S O C T. 9 -15, 2 014

MONDAY13

MICKEY & SAGE

DAYS

TOPread

Oct. 13

JANE THE VIRGIN

Mondays, 8 p.m. (CW

THURSDAY9

FRIDAY10

Oct. 9

Oct. 10-Nov. 2

SOBERT INDIAN | DANGEROUS INDIAN SPECIAL SCREENING

SAVING TRES RIOS

Creighton University, 2500 California Plaza 7p.m., Free, www.soberindian.com

John Witzel, a military man himself serving 22 years in the U.S. Air Force, has written a novel that takes us into what may be a somewhat unfamiliar realm. I for one am unacquainted with the military world and it is a whole separate world. There is a different language and meaning to the situations and people that live the military lifestyle. Witzel made it easy for his readers to understand this language and be able to identify with a military man. Retired Air Force Sergeant Robbert Madden is the center for this story and his life spirals down from the very beginning of the novel, forcing you, as the reader, to hold onto your seat and bite your fingernails praying that this compassionate man will finally catch a break. Madden has dealt with war, pain and loss and it has made him tough, but as he enters Tres Rios, New Mexico he has a whole new level of intensity thrust upon him. The first chapter jumps into a scene of a woman in an incredibly unfortunate circumstance. Don’t let the first glimpse into the book stop you from diving into an enthralling story of a man who gets kicked to the curb and trampled on over and over again for simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time and for being the nice guy. Madden is a genuine character written by a genuine man and his story will leave you with hope for humanity. — Mara Wilson

Creighton University will have a special screening in the Harper Center Hixson-Lied Auditorium, Sober Indian | Dangerous Indian directed by John A. Maisch. Maisch is an assistant professor of Legal Studies at the University of Central Oklahoma, he was raised in Nebraska and has sought to raise awareness about the alcohol epidemic on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation since 2012. For over 120 years, it was against tribal law to sell or consume alcoholic beverages on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota. Despite the tribal ban alcohol is a huge part of the community affecting not only the adults on the Reservation, but family members and infants that are born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. The tribal members purchase their beer across the state border in Whiteclay, Nebraska. A lot changed because in August 2013, the Oglala Sioux Tribe voted to legalize alcohol on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota. This documentary is a story about men and women who have overcome their addiction to find empowerment through sobriety, and those still struggling to overcome their addiction. The film, since its premiere, has helped raise awareness and Maisch is convinced there is momentum building to do something about the issue. Following the film will be a discussion with the director and activist Frank LaMere. The website for the film has information about the film, other screenings and an extended trailer. — Mara Wilson

Available on Amazon

MICKEY & SAGE

Shelterbelt Theatre 3225 California St. Thurs-Sat: 8 p.m. Sun: 2 p.m.

Tickets: $10-15 www.shelterbelt.org You peek into a thoroughly confined back yard where two pre-teens play at pretending to be adults, something like their separate parents who, upstairs, do the nasty. No peeping. But spying on the weird widower next door feels like fun. The kids seek to make sense of the grown-up world but, down in the dirt, things look real smudgy. Along with some laughs there’s “hardwon truth waiting at the end” said a Village Voice review. Sara Farrington wrote this one-hour visit. She’s from New York but has spent multiple hours and days over the years at the Great Plains Theater Conference which is where this play first aired out its linen. Language advisory. — Gordon Spencer

“Jane the Virgin” has fun with telenovela conventions. Jane (Gina Rodriguez) is an ordinary young woman swept up in extraordinary events when she’s accidentally inseminated during a routine exam. The sperm belongs to a playboy hotel owner (Justin Baldoni) who’s trapped in a loveless marriage — and who shared a kiss with Jane when they were kids. Jane’s rotten boyfriend (Brett Dier) wants her to get an abortion, while the playboy wants her to hand the baby over to him and his coldhearted wife. I have no space to relate the dozens of other plot points. “Jane the Virgin” finds the right tone for this material. It mocks Latin American soap operas, but affectionately. There’s a lot of subtitled Spanish dialogue, Latin party music and refreshingly frank talk about abortion — a rarity on broadcast TV. The actors create colorful caricatures without overdoing it. Though “Jane the Virgin” is a satire, in many ways it affects you like a real telenovela. You hate the villains and love the humble heroine. You get caught up in the grand emotions. And, of course, you can’t wait to see what happens in the next exciting episode. This marks the last week for my column. After obsessively writing about television for almost 20 years, I figured it was time to get off the couch and see what’s happening in the real world — which, I’m told, is not the same as “The Real World.” Who knew? I’ve appreciated readers’ kind words over the years. I’ve also appreciated hearing from those who disagreed with me, because what’s more fun than arguing about television? Find me on Facebook and Twitter (@deanrobbins) so we can keep the conversation going as I transition into an amateur TV watcher.

— Dean Robbins

JANE THE VIRGIN

picks

| THE READER |

OCT. 9 - 15, 2014

19

20

OCT. 9 - 15, 2014

| THE READER |

eventcalendar For more information about these events and more, go online to:

www.thereader.com/events

Upload your events online at thereader.com/events Questions: listings@thereader.com ONGOINGCULTURE Nebraska Wesleyan Elder Gallery Exhibit - 10:00 am | Free O’Donnell Auditorium, Rogers Center for Fine Arts Professor Emerita of Art Susan Horn explores family, friendships and Nebraska through photographs spanning 34 years.

Kim Reid-Kuhn - All Day | Fred Simon Gallery Kim Reid holds a BFA in Fine Art from UNO. After graduating, Kim pursued a personal studio practice, teaching, and curating. Recent exhibitions include shows at NewBLK, Tugboat Gallery and RNG Gallery, as well as a two-person show at Bemis Underground.

Dr. Seuss’s The Cat in the Hat - 7:00 pm | $18 The Rose Performing Arts Center A rainy day becomes a zany day when a boy and his sister receive a chaos-creating caller: The Cat in the Hat! Explore the Cat’s wacky, wild, wonderful world in this energetic adaptation of an iconic tale.

Unity (1918) - 7:30 pm | University of NebraskaLincoln At the end of World War I, the flu killed more people in five months than died during the five years of the war. When the sickness arrives at a small town in the middle of the prairies, death comes with it. One young woman must unite the town or they’ll all perish.

Hedda Gabler - 7:30 pm | UNO Theatre Hedda Gabler is one of Ibsen’s finest works. The character of Hedda is considered one of the towering women’s roles in theatre history. Yet, as is typical of Ibsen, all of the characters are detailed, substantive, and crucial. Ibsen gives us a patchwork of remarkable clues about each personality. It is the acting company’s task to delve deeply and assemble a dense array of personal history that each character embodies.

The Drowsy Chaperone - 7:30 pm | $20-$40 Omaha Community Playhouse The Drowsy Chaperone is a delightful look into the world of a musical theatre super fan. The show’s narrator invites us into his home to share with us his favorite musical comedy from the 1920s. As he turns on his record player, the musical bursts to life and his home transforms into the show’s set.

American Buffalo - 7:30 pm | $25-$30 The Blue Barn Theatre In a Chicago junk shop three small time crooks plot to rob a man of his coin collection, the showpiece of which is a valuable ‘Buffalo nickel,’ but the reality of the trio is that they are merely pawns caught up in their own game of last-chance, dead-end, empty pipe dreams.

Mickey & Sage - 8:00 pm | $10-$15 The Shelterbelt Theatre What happens to people?

Mickey’s dad and Sage’s mom are really, really good friends. So every day after school, the two kids are forced to play together in Sage’s tightly fenced-in backyard while the parents are ‘hanging out.’ They spend endless hours rationalizing adult behavior, making sense of the cosmos and spying on their disturbing neighbors. Both funny and tragic, Mickey & Sage examines the clarity, beauty and brevity of childhood.

Halloween Spooktacular Laser Show - 7:00 & 8:00 pm | $5-$6 Morrill Hall Museum Get ready to mash with monsters in the Family Halloween Laser Spooktacular, a spellbinding sing-along featuring classic Halloween titles such as Monster Mash, Ghostbusters, and Purple People Eater along with a sprinkling of crowd-pleasing current pop and rock songs. Every Friday and Saturday through October 24th.

THURSDAY OCT 9

Bread & Jam - 1:00 pm | Free Western Historic Trails Center Smooth Jazz Thursdays - 6:30 pm | Ozone Lounge The Hegg Brothers featuring Matt Wallace with special guests Julie Olynyk on vocals, Duke Riggs on drums and Carlos Figueroa on percussion.

So You Think You Can Dance - 7:30 pm | $38.50-$58.50. VIP packages $130 to $310 Ralston Arena The top 10 finalists from the 11th season of the Emmy Award winning Fox TV show are set to captivate audiences.

Schoenberg’s Pierrot Lunaire - 7:30 pm | Free Kimball Recital Hall Arnold Schoenberg’s Pierrot lunaire (1912) is a landmark of early twentiethcentury music. This setting of twenty-one poems

by Albert Giraud follows Pierrot, a clowning char-

acter from the Italian commedia dell’arte theatrical tradition, as he engages life’s largest issues (love, religion, violence, regret) through the exaggerated lens of post-romantic expressionism.

Reggae Night - 8:00 pm | Free The Hive Lounge PechaKucha - 8:20 pm | Free The Slowdown Devised in Tokyo in February 2003 as an event for young designers to meet, network, and show their work in public. They are informal and fun gatherings where creative people get together and share their ideas, works, thoughts, holiday snaps just about anything. PechaKucha 2020 format, a simple presentation format where you show 20 images, each for 20 seconds. The images advance automatically and presenters talk along to the images.

Comedy Stiles Open Mic - 10:00 pm | Free Stiles Public House Freestyle Battles/Ladies Night - 7:00 pm | $5 The Underground Bar & Grill The first 16 Mcs to sign in will battle that night for $50 in cash prize/ bar tab. It’s also ladies night with great drink deals and this is a 21 and up show. Besides the battles we will be showcasing local hip hop acts. To set off the show is local group rap addicts and to end the show is local act ghost the incredible.

Structured Chaos - 8:00 pm | Free Backline Improv Theatre A full night of long-form improv.

FRIDAY OCT 10

Junkstock: Harvest Edition - 10:00 am | $5 Junkstock Farm October 10-12. Sixteen live bands, food trucks galore, a free Kids Village and over 100 ‘Junk’ vendors from across the country come together for this repurposed revival. The pet-friendly event is $5 at the gate per day or $12 for the whole weekend. Admission for children 12 and younger is free. Friday, Oct. 10 from 10am6pm; Saturday, Oct. 11 from 9am-6pm; and Sunday, Oct. 12 from 10am-5pm. For VIP tickets, a full list of vendors, bands and Kids Village activities visit: junkstockomaha.com.

Disney Junior Live On Tour! - 1:00 pm | $20$60 Mid-America Center Eric Berner - Super Science and Sorcery 6:00 pm | Free Project Project Though fairly unknown, Eric Berner is creating arguably some of the most adventurous and exciting new visual artwork in the region and Project Project is pleased to announce the opening reception and gallery talk for his new exhibition. Part art villain, part evil genius, Berner reclusively creates work mostly from found and repurposed materials. Curated by Josh Powell & Joel Damon.

Blu Simon - 8:00 pm | The Hive Lounge (Not Blue Simon) is a Rock and Roll band from Omaha.

Havana * Heggs * Hornsby - 8:00 pm | Havana Garage CD Release party for Hegg Brothers featuring Matt Wallace. Free CD’s will be given away both nights at Havana Garage, Oct. 10-11.

Live Music - 9:00 pm | Free Horseshoe Council Bluffs Casino Hang Time - 9:00 pm | $5 Shamrock’s Pub And Grill Featuring Lucas Petersen with Scott Evans, and The Lovely Falls.

Stdnt Body - 9:00 pm | $5 The Slowdown Omaha Graduating from The Conservative School of Recording Arts and Sciences in Arizona began producing, writing and recording full time. moving back to Omaha in 2011 he released records such as ‘Dirty Socks’, ‘H20’, ‘Redshirt Year’ and most recently ‘The MisEducated Scholar’.

“Interrogated” - 10:00 pm | Free Backline Improv Theatre Audience members volunteer to come up on stage and confess something they’ve gotten away with in their life, then we send them back and perform scenes based on that information.

Arena: Champions vs. Challengers - 11:00 pm | Free Backline Improv Theatre Weekend Dance Destination - 10:00 pm | House of Loom There’s always two things consistent about our weekends: House of Loom turns into a House of Dance with sweat-inducing DJs ready to free the booty, and a House of Celebration, ready to host whatever celebration-worthy moment you have in your life.

SATURDAY OCT 11

Battle of the Belles - 8:00 am | Free CrossFit Vise This outdoor-meets-indoor women’s only event, created for current CrossFit Vise athletes

and CrossFit athletes from the community, will be incredible. This competition is perfect for both experienced and new CrossFitters alike and anyone interested in trying a competition for the first time. Teams of 2 will take on an outdoor event (weather permitting) on the landing between Storz Trophy Room and the Missouri River and two indoor events at CrossFit Vise in Council Bluffs. The true essence of this event is designed for intermediate level CrossFitters.

Chic Boutique - 9:00 am | $2 Skutt Catholic There will be more than 80 exhibitors, Smiling Turtle artist workshops on the hour, a bake sale, as well as breakfast and lunch available. The Chic Boutique is a Parent Association sponsored event that raises money to benefit the Skutt Catholic student activities and organizations adaptation of an iconic tale that has introduced the rewards of reading to generations of children.

Best of Omaha Festival - 3:00 pm | $10 Ralston Arena Celebrate the best that Omaha has to offer with Omaha Magazine’s inaugural Best of Omaha Festival. This event will showcase the winners from the magazine’s Best of Omaha contest, undoubtedly the premiere contest of its kind in Omaha. Come check out the city’s best products and services while listening to live entertainment, sipping on craft beers and cocktails, and snacking on food from some of the best local eateries.

Hello Omaha - 3:00 pm | Free Scooters Coffee Meet Omaha’s newest writer Jeffrey Lynn Hines and visit with him as he reads from his three books, Life in Corporate America: 2041, Ninety Miles and The Last Day On The Earth.

NAS: Illmatic 20 Year Anniversary Concert - 8:00 pm | $35-$75 The Bourbon Theatre Ever since a 17-year-old Nasir Bin Olu Dara Jones appeared on Main Sources 1991 classic Live at the Barbeque, hip-hop would be irrevocably changed. Nas. Gifted poet. Confessor. Agitator. Metaphor master. Streets disciple. Political firebrand. Tongue-twisting genius.

Jon Pardi and Joey Hyde at Whiskey Tango - 8:00 pm | $15-$40 Whiskey Tango Omaha Jon Pardi is a country singer currently on tour in support of his debut album ‘Write You A Song.’

Newcomer Joey Hyde will open the show. Doors open at 6:00pm. This show is 21+.

King Washington - 8:30 pm | $6 The Slowdown Omaha Combining the vocal styles and songwriting ethos of classic writers of yore, with the angst and adventure of growing up in 1990’s Los Angeles, King Washington’s music lives amongst the precious realm of fully unexpected yet somehow familiar rock n’ roll.

Live Music - 9:00 pm | Free Horseshoe Council Bluffs Casino Saturday Night Show - 9:00 pm | Free Backline Improv Theatre Toast of the Old Market Fall Street Festival and Tour - All Day | Free Old Market 11th Street Festival, explore the unique food & retail offerings of the Old Market -- Omaha’s cultural gem and international welcoming spot with food, drink, live music by Sandy Creek Bluegrass Band, Luigi, Inc., Matt Wallace Fusion Force, Orenda Fink, Josh Hoyer and The Shadowboxers, and a host of offerings celebrating the seasons. Upstream Brewing Company presents Oktoberfest offerings, Spagehetti Works celebrates Sagre with hearty offerings and La Buvette pours from its world-class wine with tasty food pairings.

Visit the 50+ Shops in the Old Market for unique offerings, specials, giveaways, in-store events and sidewalk sales. 2nd Saturday Gallery Walk, stroll the Old Market’s distinctive brick streets as you’re serenaded by live music. Ignite your imagination in the art galleries, where you might explore a fresh perspective in the bold brushstrokes of a painting or in the contours of a bronze sculpture. Food Day Omaha and Omaha’s Farmers Market Second to last Farmer’s Market of the season and the 4th Annual Food Day.

SUNDAY OCT 12

18th Annual Schoolhouse Fiddling Bee 2:30 pm | $1-$10 The Old Avoca Schoolhouse Greenblatt & Seay proudly announce this historical, hysterical event. In the Open Division, fiddlers will play a hoedown, a waltz, and a tune of choice. There will also be other divisions of competition available for the adventurous fid-

dlers, including a Singing Fiddler’s Contest, a Twin Fiddler’s Contest, a Fee-Fi-Faux Fiddler’s Contest (fiddle tunes played on any instrument other than a fiddle), and a Hocus-Pocus Contest (cross-tuning, sound effects, dancing, etc.).

UNL Symphony Orchestra - 3:00 pm | $3-$5 Kimball Recital Hall Dr. Jeffrey McCray, bassoon, performs Weber’s Bassoon Concerto in F major on a program featuring Schumann’s Symphony No. 3 (‘Rhenish’), Mussorgsky’s Dawn on the Moscow River and Stravinsky’s Firebird Suite (1919 version).

Fusions: Art and Technology - 5:00 pm | $20 University of Nebraska at Omaha UNO’s Friends of Art presents the first in its series of Masters and Music programs. Sculptor and mixed media artist Jamie Burmeister will describe how he merges traditional technologies like clay and bronze with modern digital technologies such as 3D printing, sound, electronics and video to create a wide range of sculpture and interactive artworks.

Salsa Sundays - 7:00 pm | $5 House of Loom We’ve dedicated our Sunday nights and our classic wood floors at House of Loom to all things salsa, buchata, merengue, cha-cha-cha, pachanga & guaguanco. And to host and DJ the night, we’ve choses long-time loom collaborator & someone we think to be the most charismatic and talented salsa dancer in Omaha a Mr. Blandon ‘Salserodalante’ Joiner.

Luigi, Inc. - 9:00 pm | Free Mr. Toad’s Pub Omaha

MONDAY OCT 13

UNL Evening of Choirs - 7:30 pm | $3-$5 Kimball Recital Hall All-Collegiate Choir, Varsity Chorus, University Chorale University students, employees, and Lincoln area community members will join vocal forces as the All-Collegiate Choir to present selections ranging from the early Renaissance with Guillame Dufay’s ‘Gloria ad modum tubae’ to Craig Hella Johnson’s arrangement of Carly Simon’s 1989 Grammy Award winning ‘Let the River Run.’ Movie Night - 8:00 pm | Free The Hive Lounge Open Mic - 9:00 pm | Free Barley Street TavernSign up at the bar after 7pm.

Pub Quiz - 9:00 pm | Free The Slowdown Omaha

TUESDAY OCT 14

Science Cafe and Pub Quiz - 7:00 pm | Free The Slowdown Omaha Science Cafe involves a face-to-face conversation with a scientist about current science topics. They are open to everyone 21+, and take place in casual settings like pubs and coffeehouses. A science cafe’s casual meeting place, plain language, and inclusive conversation create a welcoming and comfortable atmosphere for people with no science background. A scientist gives a brief presentation followed by a question and answer period. Gather up a team of 5 or less people and get ready to have your wits tested with 40 questions from the Quiz Masters.

UNL Symphonic Band - 7:30 pm | $3-$5 Kimball Recital Hall Join the Symphonic Band conducted

by Tony Falcone with Graduate Teaching Assistant Conductor Chris Barnes for their season premiere concert. The program entitled, And Through Eternity, I’ll Sing On, focuses on works based on or derived from hymns.

Open Mic Night - 9:00 pm | Free Venue 51 This is an acoustic open mic as well as spoken word.

Grieves: A Different Kind of Wild Tour - 9:00 pm | $12-$15 The Bourbon Theatre Seattle rapper Grieves returns to deliver his fourth studio album, Winter & The Wolves, on Rhymesayers Entertainment. The insatiable, devil-may-care MC is well known for his meticulous exploration of life, love and loss, through a unique medley of hip-hop and soulful music.

Karaoke Theatre - 9:00 pm | Free House of Loom One thing that separates this karaoke night from the others is that we make it a party. On good nights you may end up with a spontaneous back-up dancer or the whole bar could join in on your solo. House of Loom’s mission to support the arts, this weekly event is not only for karaoke fans, but for the local theatre industry. Actor Sara O’Neill hosts the bar with drink specials, patrons bring vivid voices and romping dance moves.

WEDNESDAY OCT 15

Ray’s Piano Party - 7:00 pm | Free Mr. Toad’s Pub Omaha From jazz to showtunes to classical to blues to sing-a-longs, Rays keeps the crowd hopping with whatever songs are needed. No cover. Much fun!

DJ Spirale & Guests - 10:00 pm | Free House of Loom 21+ event. SPiRALE is an Omaha native that has spent many years in Mexico City, giving her an edge over most local DJs on eclectic, tasteful & underground selections of music.

Comedy Open Mic - 10:00 pm | Free Barley Street Tavern

listings

| THE READER |

OCT. 9 - 15, 2014

21

4905 Leavenworth St Omaha, NE 68106

50’s

402-551-7893 “The Best in Men’s and Women’s Vintage Clothing”

60’s

70’s 80 ’ s

Costume Rentals, Wigs, Jewelry and Shoes available for

! Halloween d l i et W

G

and Your Wild retro parties.

Monday-Friday 11-7pm Saturday 11-6pm Unique Gifts • Apparel • Silver Rings Sunday 12:30-4pm BeadsPLUS: • Pipes • Incense • Jewelry • Tapestries LIKE US ON FACEBOOK

FAMILY OWNED AND OPERATED SINCE 1997 4.9” x 4.9” | 1/4 Vertical AD

Wanda Ewing Art Sale Oct 6th – Oct 31st, 2014

The Ewing Family is selling the art work of artist, Wanda D. Ewing.

Wanda was a well loved artist and professor at University of Nebraska Omaha until her death in 2013. Her career explored the subjects of race, beauty standards, sexuality, and identity. She was inspired by images found in popular culture and her life experiences often using humor as a device for engaging the viewer.

ONLINE SALE ONLY. Pieces include: Prints: Black on Black, The Summer I Wore Dresses and Wallflower series; Paintings: The Great Garden, HairDo’s and Half Dolls; Drawings: Days of the Week; Mixed Media: Black Cat series and Body series.

Join us for the 6th Annual MIDLANDS HUMANE SOCIETY

CANINES IN COSTUMES! SUNDAY, OCTOBER 19 2:00PM - 4:00PM BAYLISS PARK COUNCIL BLUFFS

All vaccinated dogs welcome!

Costume or no costume...join us for a funfilled, free day of exercise and activities hosted by the Midlands Humane Society!

Featuring m usic, photo booth food, vendors, raffle s, and fr to the first 100 costum ee treat bags e parade e ntrants!

If you’re interested in purchasing any of these pieces, please contact:

Mona Yaeger mona_chi123@yahoo.com

www.midlandshumanesociety.org

OCT. 9 - 15, 2014 22 WandaEwing_Reader_1/4_AD_1.indd

1

| THE READER |

9/30/14 6:41 PM

BY B.J. HUCHTEMANN

Get Out, Support Live Music

A

s mentioned in last week’s column, attendance has been off at local blues shows. To keep the scene alive and thriving takes commitment on the part of the fans as well as the venues. Get out and see some live music.

The Zoo Bar made a Facebook plea about two weeks ago asking fans to increase support of their touring shows. Likewise, The 21st Saloon does not seem to be seeing autumn audience attendance returning to usual levels. Last week’s 21st performance by John Primer & The Real Deal Blues Band showcased superb Chicago bluesmen but the appreciative audience was somewhat smaller than usual. Reports are the Zoo had improved audience numbers the previous night for Primer and Lil’ Ed, but that’s just one show. The Zoo Bar has exciting guitarist Nick Moss next Wednesday, Oct. 15, 6-9 p.m. This is the band’s only Nebraska appearance on this tour. Moss spins Chicago blues traditions with a contemporary edge that nickmoss.com promises is a mix of “blues, R&B, soul and a little bit of rock ‘n’ roll” with “face-melting guitar solos.” Moss is a 16-time Blues Music Award nominee and his latest disc is Time Ain’t Free. See zoobar.com and facebook.com/ZooBarBlues.

21st Saloon Blues Popular blues-gospel-R&B vocalist-keyboard player Kelley Hunt hits the 21st

hoodoo

stage in support of her new disc, The Beautiful Bones, Thursday, Oct. 9, 6-9 p.m. Blues Music Magazine calls the CD a “scintillating release by one of soul’s bestkept secrets,” proclaiming, “Kelley Hunt’s time has come.” Coming up at The 21st is Luther Allison’s son Bernard Allison Thursday, Oct. 16. Acclaimed guitarist Bobby Messano, former musical director for Steve Windwood, plays Thursday, Oct. 23. Thursday shows are 6-9 p.m.

Matt Wallace & Friends Local jazz sax man Matt Wallace’s impressive resume includes 11 years with Maynard Ferguson. This weekend Wallace plays with talented friends including the Hegg Brothers and Greg Ahl. Check their free shows at Ozone Thursday, Oct. 9, 6:30-9:30 p.m. and at Havana Garage Friday and Saturday, Oct. 10-11, 9 p.m.-midnight. See heggmusic.com.

Hot Notes Junkstock is back Oct. 10-12 near Elkhorn. The event has grown to include vendors from 11 states with art, vintage and repurposed wares plus live music. Check the schedule at junkstockomaha.com for sets by artists including Matt Cox, Brad Hoshaw, Sarah Benck, Midwest Dilemma and more. Matt Cox Band hosts a Neil Young Tribute evening at Barley Street Tavern Friday, Oct. 10, 9 p.m., with a long list of local and regional guest artists performing. ,

HOODOO is a weekly column focusing on blues, roots, Americana and occasional other music styles with an emphasis on live music performances. Hoodoo columnist B.J. Huchtemann is a Reader senior contributing writer and veteran music journalist who has covered the local music scene for nearly 20 years. Follow her blog at hoodoorootsblues.blogspot.com.

Great Entertainment coming to the Arts Center!

OCT. 11 l 8:00 pm

OCT. 17 l 8:00 pm

Relive the magic of songs from the 60s, 70s and 80s by performances from members of mega-star acts like Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons, Tommy James and the Shondells and The Critters.

Chicago’s comedy powerhouse celebrates 55 years of laughter. See the best of the best comedy mixed up with brand spankin’ new material performed by the red-hot talent of today. You’ll laugh ‘til your face hurts!

Proudly presented by:

Proudly presented by:

Arts Center The

Iowa Western Community College

TO BUY TICKETS: Call box office at 712.388.7140 purchase tickets online: artscenter.iwcc.edu

hoodoo

Other major sponsors:

| THE READER |

OCT. 9 - 15, 2014

23

newsoftheweird

T H E WO R L D G O N E F R E A K Y B Y C H U C K S H E P H E R D W I T H I L LU S T R AT I O N S B Y T O M B R I S C O E

Professional Biology Research

T

he job of determining stress levels in whales is itself apparently stressful. The most reliable information about tension lies in hormones most accurately measured by researchers’ boarding a boat, sidling up to a whale and waiting until it blasts snot out of its blowhole. By catching enough of it (or wiping it off of their raincoats), scientists can run the gunk through chemical tests. However, a team of engineering researchers at Olin College in Needham, Massachusetts, told The Boston Globe in September that they were on the verge of creating a radio- controlled, mucus-trapping drone that would bring greater civility to the researchers’ job (and reduce the add-on stress the whales must feel at being stalked by motorboats).

War Is Hell (1) The newly inaugurated “Al-Qaeda in the Indian Subcontinent” (a project of Osama bin Laden’s successor, Ayman alZawahiri) failed spectacularly in its maiden mission in September when it attempted to commandeer an American “aircraft carrier” in port in Karachi, Pakistan. Actually, the ship was a misidentified Pakistani naval vessel that did not even vaguely resemble an aircraft carrier, and Pakistani forces killed or captured all 10 jihadists. (2) A September raid on an ISIS safe house in Syria turned up, among other items (according to Foreign Policy magazine), a Dell laptop owned

by Tunisian jihadist “Muhammed S.,” containing (not unexpectedly) recipes for bubonic plague and ricin, and (less likely) a recipe for banana mousse and a variety of songs by Celine Dion.

Latest Religious Messages In September, the Seattle-based Mars Hill megachurch announced it would close several branches as

24

OCT. 9 - 15, 2014

| THE READER |

weird news

founding preacher Mark Driscoll takes personal leave to contemplate over-the-top messages he’s made in the past about women. Among the most striking statements (as gathered by the “Wenatchee the Hatchet” blog in Wenatchee, Washington) were those expressing certainty that women exist solely to support men. A man’s penis “is not your (personal) penis,” he told men. “Ultimately, God created you, and it is his penis.” “Knowing that his penis would need a home ... God created a woman (who) makes a very nice home.” Driscoll added, helpfully, “But, though you may believe your hand is shaped like a home, it is not.”

-- Catholic priest Gerald Robinson passed away in July, and many around the Diocese of Toledo, Ohio, were shocked to learn that his body was buried with full priestly rights. Wrote the diocese, Father Robinson “was a baptized member of the body of Christ, and he was, and remains, an ordained priest of the Roman Catholic Church.” In 2006, Robinson was convicted of murdering Sister Margaret Ann Pahl years earlier.

-- Recurring Theme: Another rogue Muslim cleric enraged mainstream Islamic scholars recently. Egyptian Salafist preacher Osama al-Qusi proclaimed via fatwa in August that men could properly spy on women bathing, but only if they have “pure intentions.” For example, he wrote, if a man intended to marry the woman, he might learn some things otherwise unrevealed before the ceremony. Egypt’s minister for religious affairs, Mohamed Mokhtar, has already banned “tens of thousands” of “unlicensed” preachers from working in Egypt’s mosques because of their embarrassing fatwas.

First-World Dilemmas (1) Ten parking spaces (of 150 to 200 square feet each) one flight below the street at the apartment building at 42 Crosby St. in New York City have been offered for sale by the developer for $1 million each -- nearly five times

COPYRIGHT 2014 CHUCK SHEPHERD. Visit Chuck Shepherd daily at NewsoftheWeird. blogspot.com or NewsoftheWeird.com. Send Weird News to WeirdNewsTips@yahoo.com or P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL 33679. Illustrations by Tom Briscoe (smallworldcomics.com).

the median U.S. price for an entire home. (2) New York City plastic surgeon Dr. Matthew Schulman told ABC News in September of an uptick in women’s calf liposuction procedures -- because of ladies’ frustration at not being able to squeeze into the latest must-have boots. (The surgery is tricky because of the lack of calf fat, and recovery time of up to 10 months means surgery now will not help the fashion plates until next fall.)

The Continuing Crisis Order in the Court: Signs went up in August in the York, Pennsylvania, courtroom of District Judge Ronald Haskell Jr. addressing two unconventional problems. First, “Pajamas are not (underlining ‘not’) appropriate attire for District Court.” Second, “Money from undergarments will not be accepted in this office.” Another judge, Scott Laird, told the York Daily Record that he’d probably take the skivvy-stored money anyway. “The bottom line is, if someone’s there to pay a fine, I don’t see how you can turn that away.”

Compelling Explanations Habitual petty offender Todd Bontrager, 47, charged with trespassing for probing various locked doors at a church in Broward County, Florida, in August, admitted skirting the law a few times, but said it was only “to study.” “Incarceration improves your concentration abilities,” he told skeptical Judge John “Jay” Hurley, who promptly ordered him jailed to, he said, help him “further concentrate.”

-- American Matthew Miller, 24, told the Associated Press that he had a “wild ambition” when he entered North Korea in April that he wanted to experience prison life there in order to secretly investigate the country’s human rights stance. In September, he was convicted of espionage in a 90-minute trial and will be conducting his investigation amidst hard labor over a six-year period, beginning immediately.

American Scenes The Miracle of Meth: Three terrified people screaming out of an upper-story window at a house outside Dothan, Alabama, on Aug. 24 drew police in a hurry. They were trapped, they yelled -- unable to escape because intruders were still inside, shooting at them. One “victim” said she had been stabbed -- and the blade broken off inside her. With their own shotgun, the three had blown out several windows and walls defending themselves. They had even ripped out an upstairs toilet and sink and dropped them on an intruder outside.

Police calmed the situation and later told reporters that there never were intruders -that the “hostages” had imagined the whole thing, except for the estimated $10,000 damage and the woman’s superficial, “defensive” stab wounds. (The home’s methamphetamine lab apparently remained intact.)

Least Competent Criminals (1) Mr. Roma Sims, 35, of Westerville, Ohio, was sentenced to just over eight years in prison in August for stealing the identities of more than 500 people between 2009 and 2013 -- before he was done in by having misspelled the names of several cities in various documents while working the scheme. (For example, the largest city in Kentucky is not “Louieville.”) (2) In Sebastopol, California, Dylan Stables, 20, already on probation, was arrested again mid-morning on July 22 when, with stolen credit cards in his possession, he decided to drive his car, even with transmission problems. Police noticed him as he slowly drove through town in reverse gear.

Round Up the Usual Suspects Charged in August with growing marijuana at their home in Corvallis, Montana: Rodney Stoner, 57, and his son, Adam Stoner, 24. Arrested for performing “sexually lewd acts” in front of drivers at a truck stop in Kirkwood, New York, in September: 56-year-old Calvin Wank. ,

Upcoming Events Men’s Soccer

Saturday, Oct. 11th, 7:00 PM vs.

Women’s Soccer Thursday, Oct. 16TH, 7:00 PM vs.

Sunday, Oct.19TH, 1:00 PM vs.

Volleyball

Friday, Oct. 17TH, 7:00 pm vs.

Sunday, Oct. 19th, 1:00 PM vs.

For more information call or visit:

Join us for the 6th Annual MIDLANDS HUMANE SOCIETY

CANINES IN COSTUMES! SUNDAY, OCTOBER 19 2:00PM - 4:00PM BAYLISS PARK COUNCIL BLUFFS

All vaccinated dogs welcome!

Costume or no costume...join us for a funfilled, free day of exercise and activities hosted by the Midlands Humane Society!

Featuring mu sic, photo booth food, vendors, raffle s, and fre to the first 100 costum e treat bags e parade ent rants!

www.midlandshumanesociety.org

weird news

| THE READER |

OCT. 9 - 15, 2014

25

cuttingroom

G O N E

W

G I R L

D O E S

N O T

arning to newly engaged couples: Do not see Gone Girl, a movie that makes marriage look like The Hunger Games with slightly more alleged sodomy. Writer Gillian Flynn, adapting her own novel, filters her twisty-turny whodunit (if there even is an “it” to be “whodun”) through the worst possible take on humanity. These are barely human beings and more like piles of awful shaped to resemble people. These unpersons are obsessed with either directly or voyeuristically engaging in the most biblically vile behaviors. Good thing director David Fincher sort of makes this whole thing a comedy.

Let’s back up. Gone Girl is the story of Nick Dunne (Ben Affleck) and his wife, Amy (Rosamund Pike). From the jump, Fincher deploys cloying rom-com dialogue and “meet cute” fairy tale romance sequences like sarcastic landmines. These flashbacks, pulled from Amy’s diary, are intercut with the present day. And in that present day, Amy is missing, and everyone thinks Nick killed her, mostly because a wax-faced, faux-enraged blonde anchorwoman is saying “he did it” on cable TV every night.

Film Streams at the Ruth Sokolof Theater 14th & Mike Fahey Street (formerly Webster Street) More info & showtimes 402.933.0259 · filmstreams.org Facebook | Twitter | Instagram: @filmstreams

26

OCT. 9 - 15, 2014

R E C O M M E N D

M A R R I A G E

Nick’s only allies are his twin sister, Margo (Carrie Coon), and high-profile defense lawyer Tanner Bolt (Tyler Perry). Just as lead investigator Detective Boney (Kim Dickens) finds “nail in the coffin” evidence against ole schlubby hubby, things take a turn that will only be revealed by jerkfaces and entitled asshats who think people who don’t read literary source material deserve to have other mediums of entertainment ruined for them.

Approaching Gone Girl gets…complicated. And not just because there’s more wicked trickery here than is found in a politician’s playbook. Objectively, in a strictly technical sense, Gone Girl is almost inarguably fantastic. Fincher’s frequent collaborators Trent Reznor and Atticus Finch crank out another sensationally ooky score; Affleck gives perhaps the performance of his career; Pike declares that, dammit, she will be famous now; Fincher spray paints more of his stunning trademark noir-thriller graffiti visuals and the supporting cast are all flawless…yes, even Perry.

The question is how to reconcile that against a legion of seemingly misogynistic suggestions and the pres-

First-Run Films 20,000 Days on Earth First-Run

Dir. Iain Forsyth & Jane Pollard.

Starts Friday, October 10 An experimental documentary on art rock godfather Nick Cave.

Love is Strange First-Run (R)

Dir. Ira Sachs.

Through Thursday, October 10 Alfred Molina and John Lithgow deliver powerhouse performances as a married gay couple forced to live apart after losing their Manhattan home.

| THE READER |

film

B Y

R Y A N

S Y R E K

ence of a male lead treated too sympathetically despite being total douche-nozzle. Thankfully, Fincher gives us an answer, provided you’re looking for the clues. These include things like Nick’s comments about “women constantly picking him apart,” a bystander quipping about how close Margo and Nick seem (“that’s twincest”), Detective Boney’s final interrogation and Tanner Bolt’s last words. This is parody. It’s a fart noise in the face of people who DVR Nancy Grace’s show. It’s a sinister satire of husbands and wives who fantasize “harmlessly” about murdering their spouses. This is Flynn stretching humanity to ludicrously evil bounds and letting Fincher dance around in her arterial spray.

Gone Girl defies expectations by both being and mocking what it is. At once a condemnation of murder-as-daydream and a bloody fairy tale, it is a singularly weird experience that marks a high point for several actors and a low point for its reflection of modern America’s basest desires. , GRADE = A

n The root of the word “fan” is actually “fanatic,” which sounds more maniacal and describes me after the Chicago Bears lose (again). This explains why Aksarben Cinema is naming their ongoing series of classic films “Cinematic Fanatic” and not my suggestion “Really Good Old Movie Films!” Guess what they’re starting with, given that it’s the spookiest month of the year? Nope, it’s not Adam Sandler movies, but we’ll get to him in a minute. Together with 96.1 KISS FM, Aksarben is unspooling classic horror flicks this October, including Friday the 13th, Young Frankenstein, Paranormal Activity and Halloween.

Head to aksarbencinema.com for showtimes and ticket information. n Anyway, back to Adam Sandler. The dude signed a groundbreaking, first-of-its-kind contract to make his next four movies exclusively for Netflix. I shit you not, his first statement suggested he did this because Netflix “rhymes with wet chicks.” Nothing has made me respect Hulu and Amazon Prime more. n This next bit isn’t news. It’s news about news. Actually, it’s news about news you should avoid. Star Wars Episode VII spoilers are out there. And not the fun, light kind of spoilers. The kind you can’t unread. The kind that ruins the moviegoing experience. I have managed to avoid it and hope you do the same. Just know that if you’re contemplating clicking on any “rumors” from here on out that someone posts into your social media feed, it could absolutely obliterate what people are increasingly saying may be an awesome Star Wars movie. n Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is going to star in a “raunchy” and “fun” adaptation of “Baywatch,” a show that was neither of those things. While Hollywood’s inexplicable obsession with using existing brand names for generic content (this will basically be a movie on a beach) continues to offend me and entrap even the strongest among us. Sorry, Dwayne.

—Ryan Syrek Cutting Room provides breaking local and national movie news … complete with added sarcasm. Send any relevant information to film@thereader.com. Check out Ryan on Movieha!, a weekly half-hour movie podcast (movieha.libsyn.com/rss), catch him on the radio on CD 105.9 (cd1059.com) on Fridays at around 7:30 a.m. and on KVNO 90.7 (KVNO.org) at 8:30 a.m. on Fridays and follow him on Twitter (twitter.com/thereaderfilm).

Local Filmmakers Showcase

The Met: Live in HD

Help us kick off our annual showcase of Heartland talent!

Live: Saturday, October 11, 11:55 am Encore: Wednesday, October 15, 6 pm Presented with Opera Omaha.

Prelude Talk before live broadcast.

Opening Night celebration!

Thursday, October 16, 7 pm

Verdi’s Macbeth

Films of David O. Russell Forever Young Spanking the Monkey 1994

A Letter to Momo

Russell’s confrontational debut won the Audience Award at the 1994 Sundance Film Festival.

Coming Soon

Dir. David O. Russell.

October 12 & 14

Dir. Hiroyuki Okiura.

October 11, 12 & 16

Dear White People First-Run

omahabillboard

HUGE MOVING SALE Friday-Saturday, Oct. 10-11, 9-5pm at 4820 Burt Street in Dundee. We have tons of holiday items, such as Halloween costumes and make up kits, Christmas items, many electronics, DVDs $1 each, clothing, craft items and much, much more. So come down, take a look and tell your friends, too!

RUMMAGE SALE Come & Support, Trinkets & Treasure, All Saints Episcopal Church, 9302 Blondo Street, Friday Oct. 17th, 9 a.m. - 3 p.m.

CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: (888)420-3808 www. cash4car.com (AAN CAN) DONATE YOUR CAR, truck or boat to Heritage for the Blind. Free 3 Day Vacation, Tax Deductible, Free Towing, All Paperwork Taken Care Of. (800)283-0205 (MCN) ROOMMATES.COM. Lonely? Bored? Broke? Find the perfect roommate to complement your personality and lifestyle at Roommates.com! (AAN CAN) LQQK! Attention Sports Fans: Call for your FREE Pick today from our expert handicappers. NO Strings Attached! 21+ Call: (888)513-5639 (AAN CAN) DISH TV Starting at $19.99/month (for 12 mos.) SAVE! Regular Price $32.99 Call Today and Ask About FREE SAME DAY Installation! CALL Now! (888)992-1957 (AAN CAN)

INJURED? IN A LAWSUIT? Need Cash Now? We Can Help! No Monthly Payments to Make. No Credit Check.

Fast Service and Low Rates.

Call Now (888)271-0463 www. lawcapital.com (Not available in NC, CO & MD) (MCN)

REDUCE YOUR PAST TAX BILL by as much as 75 Percent.

Stop Levies, Liens and Wage Garnishments. Call the Tax DR Now to see if you Qualify – (800)721-2793 (MCN) ARE YOU IN BIG TROUBLE WITH THE IRS? Stop wage & bank levies, liens & audits, unfiled tax returns, payroll issues, & resolve tax debt FAST. Call (855)820-6752 (MCN) GET CASH NOW for your Annuity or Structured Settlement. Top Dollars Paid.

Fast, No Hassle Service! Call: (877)740-0888 (Mon-Fri – 9am-6pm CT) (MCN) CANADA DRUG CENTER is your choice for safe and affordable medications. Our licensed Canadian mail order pharmacy will provide you with savings of up to 75 percent on all your medication needs. Call today (800)2634059 for $10.00 off your first prescription and free shipping. (MCN) SAFE STEP WALK-IN TUB: Alert for Seniors. Bathroom falls can be fatal. Approved by Arthritis Foundation.

Therapeutic Jets. Less than 4 Inch Step-In. Wide Door.

Anti-Slip Floors. American Made. Installation Included.

Call (800)985-0685 for $750 Off (MCN)

TAKE VIAGRA/CIALIS? SAVE $500! 40 100mg/20mg Pills, only $99! Call now and Get 4 BONUS Pills! Satisfaction or Money Refunded! Call (888)796-8871 (MCN)

CASH for unexpired DIABETIC TEST STRIPS & STOP SMOKING ITEMS! Free Shipping, Best Prices, 24hr Payment. Hablamos Espanol.

Call (888)440-4001 www.

TestStripSearch.com (AAN CAN) IF YOU OR A LOVED ONE suffered a stroke, heart attack or died after using testosterone supplements, you may be entitled to monetary damages. Call (866)368-0546 (MCN) EEOICPA CLAIM DENIED? Diagnosed with cancer or another illness working for DOE in U.S. Nuclear Weapons Program? You may be entitled to $150,000 – $400,000.

Call Attorney Hugh Stephens (866)643-1894. 2495 Main S., Suite 442, Buffalo, NY (MCN) ALL THINGS BASEMENTY! Basement Systems Inc. Call us for all of your basement needs! Waterproofing, Finishing, Structural Repairs, Humidity and Mold Control.

FREE ESTIMATES! Call (800)640-8195 (MCN) MY COMPUTER WORKS: Computer problems? Viruses, spyware, email, printer issues, bad internet connections – FIX IT NOW! Professional, U.S.-based technicians. $25 off service. Call for immediate help. (800)359-7020 (MCN)

REDUCE YOUR CABLE BILL! Get a whole-home Satellite system installed at NO COST and programming starting at $19.99/mo. FREE HD/DVR Upgrade to new callers, SO CALL NOW (800)830-7187 (MCN) PREGNANT? Thinking of adoption? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families Nationwide.

LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions.

(866)413-6293.

Void in Illinois/New Mexico/ Indiana (AAN CAN) CURIOUS ABOUT MEN? Talk Discreetly with men like you! Try FREE! Call (888)7792789 www.guyspy.com (AAN CAN) ¿HABLAS ESPAÑOL? HOT Latino Chat. Call Fonochat now & in seconds you can be speaking to HOT Hispanic singles in your area. Try FREE! (800)416-3809 (AAN CAN) FEEL THE VIBE! Hot Black Chat. Urban women and men ready to MAKE THE CONNECTION. Call singles in your area! Try FREE! Call (800)305-9164 (AAN CAN) WHERE LOCAL GIRLS GO WILD! Hot, Live, Real, Discreet!

Uncensored live 1-on-1 HOT phone Chat. Calls in YOUR city! Try FREE! Call (800)2614097 (AAN CAN)

WARNING HOT GUYS!

Pioneer Publishing, the parent company of El Perico and The Reader, has co-working space available near the heart of South Omaha for creative professionals looking for a great work atmosphere for as little as $75/ month, including internet service. Perfect studio space available for the right person.

FREE TO LISTEN & REPLY TO ADS!

Please contact Clay Seaman, clays@thereader.com or 402-341-7323 x108 if you are interested.

Omaha

402.341.4000 FREE CODE: Omaha Reader For other local numbers call:

1-888-MegaMates

TM

24/7 Customer Care 1(888) 634.2628 18+ ©2013 PC LLC 2562

billboard

| THE READER |

OCT. 9 - 15, 2014

27

NOW OPEN Located Inside Walmart 5018 Ames Ave. Omaha, NE 68104 402-455-1067

12 9

$

$

99 HAIRCUT 99 SALE (Until 8/20/14) HAIRCUT Valid at 10237 Bay Pines Blvd location only.

5018 Ames Ave. location only.

Expires 10/31/14.

www.smartstyle.com SmartStyle Hair Salons. Proud to be part of Regis Corporation, the largest owner and leading operator of hair salons in the world.