The Reader May 1 - 7, 2014

DUNCAN AVIATION Programmer/Analyst II, Java & Programmer/Analyst II. Call 402-479-4135.

Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information.

ATTENTION: Small and Emerging Small Business Program Participants. Ric-Man Construction, Inc. is soliciting cost proposals for the City of Omaha; OPW 52223 (CSO), South Interceptor Force Main – North Segment from Small and Emerging Small Business, and other entities defined as socially and/or economically disadvantaged Subcontractors/Vendors for Trucking, Aggregates, Misc. Concrete, and Site Restoration. Bids will be opened: Wednesday, May 07, 2014 @ 11:00 AM. Those interested in providing a quote for this project are encouraged to contact Lloyd Lambrix, Ric-Man Construction, Inc., Phone (586) 7395210 Fax (586) 739-8290 email: llambrix@ric-man. com, Ric-Man Construction, Inc. is an Equal-Opportunity Employer.

AAA LIFE INSURANCE Customer Sales & Service Representative. Contact Jessica Rudol at jmrudol@aaane.com. Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information.

THE THOMPSON COMPANY Corporate Safety Coordinator/Logistics Analyst. Contact Jim Hoss at jhoss@tobafoods.com.

Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information.

GEICO Full-Time Outbound Insurance Sales Agent. Contact job4you732@msn. com. Go to OmahaJobs. com for more information.

OMAHA STEAKS Digital Marketing Manager & Freezer Assembler (Part-Time). Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information.

EMS, INC. Guest Services Associate.

Contact Janelle Hyman at jhyman@emscrm.com.

Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information.

CPS HR CONSULTING Exam Proctor. Go to OmahaJobs.com for info.

KEYSTONE TAVERN & GRILL Line cook-fry cook. Contact Tim at keystone. tavern@cox.net. Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information.

THE READER Route Driver. Contact Clay Seaman at 402-6722012 or clayseaman@ TheReader.com. Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information FUTURE FOAM Maintenance Mechanic.

Contact Rich Harger at 712-323-6718 Ext. 208 or rharger@futurefoam.com.

Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information.

DENT RECON Automotive Paint Technician. Contact Kate Miller at 224-279-7716 or careers@dentrecon.com.

Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information ALEGENT CREIGHTON HEALTH Driver II Bergan Central Kitchen PT. Contact Todd Molstad at 402-717-1849 or todd.molstad@alegent. org. Go to OmahaJobs. com for more information ALEGENT CREIGHTON HEALTH RN Post Anesthesia Care Unit FT Day/Evening Immanuel Medical Center.

Contact Jennifer Acker at 402-717-1883 or at Jennifer.acker@alegent.org.

Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information

BOND NO. 9 NEW YORK Part-Time Luxury Sales Representative. Contact Lisa Rediker at 646-2849015 or at careers@ bondno9.com Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information.

HY-VEE Caribou Barista – 180th & Pacific. Contact Shira Moore at 1478hrmgr@hyvee.com or 402-334-444.

Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information.

EATON Supervisor – Gears Product Engineer. Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information.

CORESLAB STRUCTURES Now Hiring Multiple Positions. Go to OmahaJobs. com for more information OMAHA CONSERVATORY OF MUSIC Receptionist Administrative Assistant.

Contact Diane Owens at dianeowens@omahacm.org. Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information.

LIFT SOLUTIONS Receptionist. Contact Bob Svoboda at bsvoboda@ lsi.bz or call at 402-3301690. Go to OmahaJobs. com for more information.

CATHOLIC CHARITIES Maintenance Mechanic.

Contact Bonni Pulte at bonniep@ccomaha.org or at 402-829-9247. Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information.

We are proud to take care of some of the most beautiful spaces in Omaha and our Gardeners are at the core of each one.

If you have a minimum of 2 years experience, desire to be a part of a team that honors the profession of horticulture and values community, simplicity, stewardship, and habitat, we invite you to join our team!

ob

s@

k i ng

s h or n g a r d e n

. co

m

Please contact Clay Seaman, clays@thereader.com or 402-341-7323 x108 if you are interested.

MAY 1 - 7, 2014

OMAHA STEAKS Temporary Graphic Designer. Go to OmahaJobs. com for more information.

ALEGENT CREIGHTON HEALTH Communications Operator CUMC OnCall (Sa/Su hours 11p-7a). Contact Allison.merkel@alegent.org or at 402-717-1974. Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information

EARN $500 A DAY as Airbrush Media Makeup Artist. For Ads, TV, Film, Fashion. One Week Course. Train & Build Portfolio. 15% OFF TUITION. AwardMakeupSchool.com 818-980-2119 (AAN CAN)

WE’RE GROWING! McFarland Truck Lines. We need Class A company/ drivers and owner/operators. Great pay/benefits package. Stay in the Midwest; be home on weekends. www.mcfgtl.com. Call Scott 507-437-9905 (MCN)

AIRLINE CAREERS begin here – Get trained as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Financial aid for qualified students. Job placement assistance.

Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 800-7251563 (AAN CAN)

PAID IN ADVANCE! MAKE $1000 A WEEK mailing brochures from home! Helping Home Workers Since 2001!

Genuine Opportunity!

No experience required.

Start Immediately! www. mailingincome.com (VOID IN SD) (MCN)

AFRICA, BRAZIL WORK/ STUDY! Change the lives of others while creating a sustainable future. 6, 9, 18 month programs available. Apply today! www.OneWorldCenter.org (269) 5910518 info@OneWorldCenter.org (AAN CAN)

MINNEAPOLIS BASED COMPANY Expanding across nation. We need sales reps with excellent opportunity to move into sales management. Excellent commissions. We train. Ag/ construction experience a plus. Call 1-888-372-0594 ext405 (MCN) THE READER Route Driver. Contact Clay Seaman at 402-6722012 or clayseaman@ TheReader.com. Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information

&"3-: %&7&-01.&/5 /&5803, Nebraska Childfind provides information

Pioneer Publishing, the parent company of El Perico and The Reader, has co-working space available near the heart of South Omaha for creative professionals looking for a great work atmosphere for as little as $75/ month, including internet service. Perfect studio space available for the right person.

2

METROPOLITAN COMMUNITY COLLEGE Faculty, Administrator and Staff Positions. Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information.

$1,000 WEEKLY!!

MAILING BROCHURES From Home. Helping home workers since 2001.

Genuine Opportunity. No Experience required. Start Immediately www.mailingmembers.com (AAN CAN)

IEEE Part-time Associates (Deli & Maintenance). Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information.

ead Gardener-H

j

STERITECH Pest Route Professional (SS). Go to OmahaJobs. com for more information.

PLANET FITNESS Overnight Staff. Apply at apply@pfomaha.com or call at (402)932-3737. Go to OmahaJobs.com for more information.

ALEGENT CREIGHTON HEALTH RN Team Lead Care Mgt Lakeside (FT). Contact Jennifer Acker at 402717-1883 or at Jennifer. acker@alegent.org. Go to OmahaJobs.com for info.

| THE READER |

omaha jobs

to parents on child development and special education for birth to age 21.

If you suspect your child has a developmental delay, contact your local school district or call 402-597-4936.

For more information visit: www.childfind.ne.gov Early Development Network Web Page: http://edn.esu3.org

1-888-806-6287

Find us on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/pages/Early-Development-Network/118695294899599

heartlandhealing N E W A G E H E A LT H A N D W E L L N E S S B Y M I C H A E L B R AU N S T E I N

Life in the Fats Lane

M

any years ago, we wrote about the value and importance of healthful fat in the diet.

We received a scathing rant of a letter from a cretin medical school student. In his personal attack and diatribe, he scolded me for promoting fat, saying that fat was bad and causes heart disease and on and on. He cursed me and damned me with, “If Mr. Braunstein wants to eat Big Macs and die at an early age of clogged arteries (Note: too late for that, pal.) then let him.” Never mind that the column in question made it clear that there was “good” fat and “bad” fat. Our friendly student critic missed that part. Apparently comprehensive reading skills are no longer a requisite for acceptance to a medical school. Then again, one has to remember that just a few decades ago, medical doctors promoted cigarette smoking as innocuous pleasure.

And the American College of Cardiologists’ national convention pimped trans fat margarine as “heart healthy.”

Fear not the fat. Good fat and bad fat can very generally be discerned by a simple criterion. If human meddling is involved with the fat, then it is likely “bad” fat. If the fat is pretty much in its natural state, then it stands a good chance of being “good” fat. But like eggs, cholesterol and butter, fat has been skewered as a sinister element in the diet. Nothing could be further from the truth. Fat is necessary for life. Without it, our cells would fall apart. We’d be a horrible mess. Fat occurs in nature in many differing forms. Even with natural fats, we could experience health problems if we eat too much of the wrong kind. Let’s review the basic kinds of fat.

Saturated fats These are typically associated with fat from animal sources such as meat, cheese or milk.

We have long been told that there is a connection between animal fats and disease, notably heart disease, which ranks just behind conventional medicine as the leading cause of death in the United States. Many speculate that the prejudice against animal fat was actually initiated by the food industry to make chemically-produced trans fats more appealing to consumers. Saturated fats, accused of association with atherosclerosis or heart disease, do instead have their own set of health benefits. We are learning more about the important balance between the different fatty acids contained in animal sources.

Unsaturated fats These are usually fats derived from plant sources. They also are in the form of mono-unsaturated (olive oil, for example) and poly-unsaturated

fats (such as canola, soy or corn). Some scientists believe these fats actually improve heart health by increasing the level of so-called good cholesterol in the blood. Other researchers, notably Mary Enig, Ph.D., believe vegetable fats are not the health panacea they are made out to be.

Trans fats Artificially created trans fats are deadly.

Known as hydrogenated or partially hydrogenated fats on labeling, a Harvard review in 1994 suggested trans fats cause 30,000 deaths a year in the United States by contributing to heart disease. They are also associated with cancers. At first, consumer advocates thought trans fats were a good idea. The selling point was that by using them, we would potentially cut back on animal fats. When trans fats were just coming into their own, we were not fully aware how absolutely toxic they were.

Fats domino effect The current trend evaluates healthfulness of fats based more on composite elements rather than general category of saturated or unsaturated. It’s more important to understand the balance and presence of fatty acids that make up the fat. For example, it’s clear that industrial beef has an inferior nutritional profile from grass fed beef.

Quoting directly from research published in the Journal Nutrition: “Research spanning three decades supports the argument that grass-fed beef…has a more desirable [fat] profile as compared to grain-fed beef.

Grass-finished beef is also higher in total [antioxidants]. This results in a better [omega fatty acid] ratio that is preferred by the nutritional community. Grassfed beef is also higher in precursors for Vitamin A and E and cancer fighting antioxidants such as GT and SOD activity as compared to grain-fed contemporaries.”

Just eat it So we’re inundated with data, research, propaganda and advertising that take us one way then the other. Should you spend all your time sifting through the numbers in order to eat the right way? It makes more sense to keep it simple when it comes to fats. I move away from the American meat-centric diet. Too much of a thing is a bad thing. Then, when eating meat, choose the non-industrial type from a rancher you know. Probably the worst place (after fast food) to buy meat is a supermarket of any type. Next, seek out foods that are minimally processed or influenced by mankind’s helping hand. Nature does it best when it comes to fats.

By now our med school student is selling statins to the masses. Have a burger, buddy.

Be well. ,

HEARTLAND HEALING is a New Age polemic describing alternatives to conventional methods

of healing the body, mind and planet. It is provided as information and entertainment, certainly not medical advice. It is not an endorsement of any particular therapy, either by the writer or The Reader. Visit HeartlandHealing.com for more information.

VISIONS FROM FIVE MINUTES INTO THE FUTURE • MAY 1, 2014 • We will discover evidence of past life on Mars in the next six months -- fossil records that show evidence of microbial life from when water flowed freely on the red planet. There will no longer be any doubt that the universe teems with life -- that it will form

independently wherever conditions support it, which described millions and perhaps billions of planets. We are not alone in this universe; instead, it teems with life, waiting across vast stretches of space for us to make contact.

2ND ANNUAL

Embrace Creativity!

May 10

10 a.m.

$35

Mixed Media with Dori Settles

May 24

10 a.m.

$65

Blacksmithing with Elmo Diaz

May 24

10 a.m.

Sold Out

Lampworking with Kathy Diaz

Information and Registration OmahaCreativeInstitute.org Rebecca@OmahaCreativeInstitute.org 785-218-3061

heartland healing

Mindful Writing Retreat

Eugene T. Mahoney State Park ASHLAND, NE - PETER KIEWIT LODGE

Saturday May 10, 9am-4pm Part writing workshop, part meditative retreat and part artistic community.

We provide a safe, inspiring place to explore, create & tap your deep writing voice.

REGISTRATION $85 EDUCATORS $75 STUDENTS (16 & OVER) $65 (includes lunch & park usage fee) For questions or to register, email emack@centurylink.net or visit mindfulwriters.org

| THE READER |

MAY 1 - 7, 2014

3

Celebrating Omaha’s Heritage!

Saturday, May 17, 2014 Parade 10 a.m. and Family Fun Noon -10 p.m.

Meet at 9 a.m. at the10th and Pacific Streets Parade starts at 10 a.m.. Proceed north on 10th to Farnam St..

Turn east on Farnam St. to 8th St.. Proceed north on 8th St. to Lewis & Clark Landing.

Lewis & Clark Landing

Exhibitor Tents . International Food . Live Music . Children’s Activities

crumbs

■ READY FOR THE PIG AND FINCH? The Pig & Finch Gastropub is now open at One Pacific Place, 10381 Pacific St., across from Trader Joe’s. The Pig & Finch brings American, French and English flavors to their farm to table dining concept. Also, their well-trained bartenders will create hand-crafted cocktails, which can be enjoyed in the bar, dining room or on the patio.

■ It’s the Spice of South “O” Starting Friday May 2 at 5:30 p.m., at 24th and N streets, is the Spice of South O Mexican Food Festival in celebration of Cinco de Mayo. Savor the flavor of authentic Mexican fare from local restaurants and food vendors along with live music, margaritas and other festivities. Also celebrate The Reader’s 20-year and El Perico’s 15-year anniversaries.

A portion of proceeds will benefit the Salvation Army Kroc Center in South Omaha. See you all there.

■ LOT 2 WELCOMES A NEW MENU Lot 2 has unveiled their new spring menu. Not only does it read delicious but folks have a lot of great things to say about the new items. Do yourself a favor and check it out at www. lot2benson.com.

■ ALWAYS SAD TO REPORT WHEN DOORS CLOSE We heard the rumors and they have become reality, The Broadmoor Market in Countryside Village has officially closed their doors. Sorry we couldn’t give you more of a warning so you could stock up on the best spinach dip in town. We will keep you posted if we hear about future plans.Thanks Broadmoor Market for providing more than 50 years of business to Omaha.

— Krista O’Malley Crumbs is about indulging in food and celebrating its many forms.

Send information about area food and drink businesses to crumbs@ thereader.com.

PRESENTS...

MARTY STUART

COME JOIN US FOR A WEEK OF NEW AMERICAN THEATRE. ALL EVENTS ARE FREE AND OPEN TO THE PUBLIC.

AND HIS FABULOUS SUPERLATIVES

ON SALE FRIDAY, MAY 2!

FRIDAY | JULY 11 | 8:00 P.M.

Tickets: Online: TicketOmaha.com | Charge by phone: 402-345-0606 | In person: Ticket Omaha box office, 13th & Douglas Streets | Prices: $70, $60, $50, $40

4

MAY 1 - 7, 2014

| THE READER |

dish

MAY 24–31

WWW.MCCNEB.EDU/GPTC 402.457.2618 | OMAHA, NEBRASKA

Tequila Corner

D

Saturday, May 3, 11am-10pm Monday, May 5, 11am-10pm

Drink Specials and Giveaways at Both Locations Live Music (West Only)

iana Jimenez is one of my new favorite people. She is the Brand Ambassador for Casa Centinela who attended the tequila tasting La Mesa had on April 17. There are actually two reasons why she’s one of my new favorite people; the first reason is because she kept giving me tequila to drink, and the other reason is because she was really entertaining while we all drank the tequila she kept giving us.

“The more you drink your margarita, you get more fluent in Spanish,” she joked, urging us to enjoy our margaritas made with Casa Centinela Reposado Tequila. Later, when we next sampled a shot of the Tequila Centinela Blanco, she said “Now you’re starting to feel the agave inside you…you want to go play music with the Mariachi!”

She also taught us how to roll our “r” to sound more authentic when we all pretended to know how to speak Spanish. She was right, though, because the more tequila we drank, the better our Spanish sounded. At least, it sounded better to all of us in our heads.

If you didn’t make it out for the April 17 tequila tasting then you missed quite a bit of fun. The full-course meal we were served complemented the tequila we sampled and everything blended very nicely. My favorite combination was the shot of Blanco accompanied by a citrusy green salad because the clean spiciness of the shot worked harmoniously with the citrusy flavor of the salad. But I certainly didn’t mind the ribs, shrimp pasta or the stuffed poblano pepper either.

The crescendo of the evening was when Diana brought out a tray full of shots of the Extra Anejo Tequila. This is the top-shelf stuff that spent years aging in wooden barrels buried underneath the ground. It sounds more like a story about buried treasure, but I’m not kidding you. Burying the barrels underground help stave off some of the evaporation that typically takes place when aging tequila.

Diana spoke of the Extra Anejo in hushed tones and we all listened eagerly. She told us to prepare ourselves for an experience that can only be described as “like drinking clouds.” So when the shots arrived at our tables, many of us sat there

and braced ourselves for the experience.

We all picked up our shots and did as Diana instructed: we brought the shot to our nose to take in the smell, then we took one sip of the drink and allowed the liquid to sit on our tongues for a moment. Then we swallowed and breathed out.

“Smooth!” declared the woman across from me. “Velvety!” announced the man sitting next to her. As for me, I sat there thinking about how all the cheap tequila I’d carelessly drank in my earlier years while partying in Mexico were such as waste of my time. This Extra Anejo, it’s more than a drink.

It’s an experience. It’s a silky flavor that stays on your palate with a bitter note at the end.

Yes, I know I sound like a tequila snob right now. My suggestion to you is to attend the next tequila tasting so you too can be snobby alongside me. It will be great fun. Luckily, La Mesa has another tequila tasting in the works. I’ll keep you posted and let you know when a date is set.

You don’t have to wait for the next tequila tasting to get to know good tequila. La Mesa only serves tequila featuring 100% agave and every server is certified through the Tequila Regulatory Council in Mexico. Ask any tequila question and your server will have an answer, and they won’t even be snobby about it like I would.

Be sure to check out May’s Drink Special while you’re there - it’s an 18 ounce Cazadores Margarita for $6.50. You can also register to win a Family 4 Ticket Pack to the upcoming Kansas City Royals game against the New York Yankees. Margaritas and baseball games? It’s definitely starting to feel like summer around here.

—Tamsen Butler

| THE READER |

MAY 1 - 7, 2014

5

R

obert Miles founded the Value Investor Conference, which is held at the University of Nebraska at Omaha each year just before the Berkshire Hathaway annual meeting. This sold-out event attracts shareholders from more than 24 countries on all six habitable continents. Since Buffett refers to Berkshire’s annual meeting as “the Woodstock of Capitalism” and Omaha’s as “the Cradle of Capitalism,” with such global participation, he considers the Value Investor Conference as “the Olympics of Capitalism.”

In fall of 2011, he began teaching an Executive MBA course at the University of Nebraska-Omaha. It is titled the “Genius of Warren Buffett: The Science of Investing and The Art of Managing.” The university permits attendance by non-enrolled students, also known as Lifelong Learners. The course is taught over three non-consecutive weekends in the fall or three consecutive days in the spring, and now is a very popular elective.

Each spring, shareholders from around the world fly to Omaha a week in advance of the Berkshire annual meeting for this intensive study program. Guest lecturers, or “professors of the day,” are drawn from Berkshire managers, authors, experts, and a Buffett family philanthropist.

Of course, the fictitious Mr. Wilson declined the barbers’ requests.

When we surprised Buffett at his office with the pinball machine, which was placed in the file room at Berkshire’s Headquarters, he promptly inserted a nickel into the machine and played rather expertly.

Like riding a bike, playing the game came back to him quickly.

Q. How do you think Buffett has changed over time?

A. I don’t think Buffett has changed. He still invests the same way he did when he was 19. As a teenager, he had an epiphany when he read Benjamin Graham’s The Intelligent Investor. He has often said this is the only book an investor needs to read.

When I asked him when he was going to write the definitive book on investing, he said, “Everything an investor needs to know has already been written and is in The Intelligent Investor. It’s the only book an investor needs to read. There’s something about humans that makes us want to believe that some things, like investing, are more complicated than they need to be. We want secrets and special formulas, when in fact it is very simple.”

The one thing that has changed about Buffett’s investing methods is this. He used to say he was about 85 percent Ben Graham—quantitative, and 15 percent Phil Fisher—qualitative. Quantitative being, all that can be measured is measured and only investing when price is below value. Qualitative investing, by definition, cannot be measured. It involves the assessment of the quality of the business, as well as the quality of the management team and the competitive advantage and durability of the products and services. Over time Buffett, greatly influenced by his partner Charlie Munger, became 80 percent quantitative and 20 percent qualitative, buying wonderful businesses run by top-notch managers at a fair price, instead of mediocre businesses at wonderful prices.

Q. How did you get to know of Warren Buffett, and what made you a Buffett follower?

A. I asked myself, “Who is the best at investing, and is that person available to invest for me?”

I quickly discovered the best investor was Warren Buffett. I read Roger Lowenstein’s book, Buffett: The Making of An American Capitalist. The information in the biography made a lot of sense to me. But, as all great teachers expect, I would have to do the work of investing myself.

The first point I found valuable was Buffett’s assertion that value investing is a quick inoculation, you either get it in the first 10 minutes or you don’t. So I purchased shares in Berkshire Hathaway through a discount brokerage account and became a long-term shareholder. I still own the shares today.

After becoming a shareholder and reading the Berkshire Hathaway Owner’s Manual, I attended my first annual meeting—Buffett calls it the “Woodstock of Capitalism” in 1996. What I heard, and continue to hear, was someone speaking the truth about Wall Street, investing, finance, the stock market, life, philanthropy, inheritance, wealth, and success. Buffett says, “Wall Street will sell you anything you’re willing to buy. Wall Street is a legal pickpocket of the average investor.” His speaking the truth in a common sense, folksy Midwestern way really resonated with me, and thousands more, which is the reason the meeting attendance has grown every year since.

Q. How did you come to meet Warren Buffett?

A. I first met Buffett at a Dairy Queen in Omaha, Nebraska after he purchased the company in 1998.

At the end of 1998, I decided, as a challenge to myself, to log onto The Motley Fool, which had a discussion board dedicated to everything Berkshire, and create a pseudonym for myself: Simpleinvestor. I

6

MAY 1 - 7, 2014

Q. What are Buffett’s best and worst investments?

announced that I could come up with 101 reasons to own Berkshire, before the next annual meeting. After 101 days I achieved my goal. Those posts became my first book, more by accident than design. 101 Reasons to Own the World’s Greatest Investment: Warren Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway launched my new career as a Buffett follower and author. Later I became a worldwide lecturer, author of two more books about Buffett, a conference and summit organizer, and, most recently, college instructor.

Q. What are some of your earliest memories of Buffett?

A. There are many, but one of the most memorable experiences was August 30, 2000, when I was invited to his office and a lunch, along with a dozen other shareholders, to help celebrate and surprise Buffett on his 70th birthday. The group, which included Don

| THE READER |

cover story

Danly, his childhood friend and first business partner, gave him an early pinball machine.

It was similar to the ones he and Don, as high school students, purchased together and placed in local barbershops as a profit-making venture.

Always the value investor, the boys bought them used for $25 each—new, they were $300. At a nickel per play, the partners netted $2 to $4 per machine on the first day, earning them a fabulous rate of return. They called this entrepreneurial venture the Wilson Coin Operated Machine Company. Later I learned it was named after their high school and our 28th President, Woodrow Wilson.

The barbers complained that the machines were too old and asked the boys to put newer ones in their shops. Rather cleverly, Don and Warren told the barbers that they would check with Mr. Wilson, the owner of the business, and let them know.

A. Buffett’s best investment by far was the 1967 purchase of National Indemnity Insurance for $8.6 million. The insurance company came with $20 million in float, or insurance premiums paid that can be used for investment before claims are made against it. (Berkshire insurance subsidiaries generated $73 billion in annual float in 2013, and earned $7 billion underwriting profit plus investment income.)

Buffett’s worst investment was an old New England textile mill, which became the namesake of his conglomerate: Berkshire Hathaway. The mill manufactured linings of men’s business suits. He took control of the business in 1965, and it had to be closed 20 years later, in 1985, because of cheaper foreign textile labor. He had purchased a fair to terrible business at an excellent price but because it didn’t have a moat or durable competitive advantage, with its high labor costs the business was discontinued.

Buffett later quantified this investment mistake as costing shareholders $200 billion, which is how much more shareholder value would have been added if he paid $17 million for an insurance company continued on page 8y

BUILD a

future

doing what you love.

YOU ARE AN ARTIST.

You’ve fallen in love with creativity and you want your work to make a difference; but you need to make a living too. How do you turn your passion into a career?

Bellevue University can help you bridge the gap between art and entrepreneurship with our NEW MFA in Creativity.

• Explore the true meaning of creativity.

• Refine your art with the help of experienced mentors.

• Learn how your mentors built successful creative businesses.

• Present the business plan you’ve created to potential investors.

Ready to make a living doing what you love? Get started now, and we’ll help you build something that lasts.

START YOUR SOMEDAY

AT BELLEVUE.EDU 1-877-299-0009 A non-profit university, Bellevue University is accredited by The Higher Learning Commission and a member of the North Central Association of Colleges and Schools • www.ncahlc.org • 800-621-7440 • Bellevue University does not discriminate on the basis of age, race, color, religion, sex, national origin, or disabilityin the educational programs and activities it operates. Bellevue University, 1000 Galvin Road South, Bellevue, Nebraska 68005. 3883-0214

| THE READER |

MAY 1 - 7, 2014

7

y continued from page 6 like National Indemnity instead of the textile mill. So the very name of his conglomerate, a name he could have changed more than 80 acquisitions later, remains as an intentional, daily reminder to him of his biggest investment error.

Another Buffett mistake was the purchase of Dexter Shoes. At the time, in 1993, it was the largest manufacturer of shoes in the United States, making bowling, golf and casual shoes. The mistake wasn’t buying Dexter Shoes for $400 million dollars; the error was offering two percent of Berkshire Hathaway stock in exchange. Two percent in 1993 was $400 million; today, with a market capitalization of some $300 billion, two percent is $6 billion. So Dexter is an ever-escalating mistake and a reminder to buy wholly owned subsidiaries with cash.

Q. What do you consider Berkshire’s best businesses, or businesses you particularly like?

A. The most ideal business, according to Buffett, happens to be one of my favorites: See’s Candies, a California manufacturer and retailer of boxed chocolates, which has some 200 retail stores and kiosks in the USA. In 1973, Buffett bought See’s Candies for $25 million dollars. The company now earns nearly four times its purchase price every year. It’s a terrific business because it doesn’t require a lot of capital to generate those earnings. What makes it less appealing is chocolate doesn’t travel well, particularly See’s, since no preservatives are used, which makes it difficult for See’s to scale the business.

See’s uses the same quality ingredients as Godiva, which manufacturers its chocolate in Reading, Pennsylvania and is owned by a Turkish food conglomerate that purchased it from Campbell Soup Co. Godiva creates the appearance of being European-made with its fancy packaging, and sells for three times the price of See’s.

Unlike See’s, preservatives are added to Godiva chocolates, giving it six to 12 months of shelf life and allowing greater distribution channels. But See’s advantage is better flavor and a better value at one-third the price.

My dream, as an author, is to one day sell enough books to have a share of NetJets.

Q. Is there a difference between what Buffett says and what he does?

A. There are a lot of people who see a conflict between Buffett’s call for a higher tax rate on the rich in the US, and his artful investing strategies that minimize taxes. But I find these consistent. So no, I don’t think his actions differ from his public pronouncements.

Like many high-profile people with power, privilege, and media access, he is often misinterpreted.

Some say that Buffett’s statement that “derivatives are weapons of mass financial destruction” and his use of them to be inconsistent. He understands the use of options and insurance along with the risks associated with them, so to him they are a tool for financial leverage and gain, not something that will destroy his shareholders’ wealth.

Q. What is the future of Berkshire Hathaway post-Buffett? Who will succeed him?

Singin’ in the Rain

Saturday, April 26 at 8 pm Holland Center Ernest Richardson, conductor

Presenting Sponsor

8

MAY 1 - 7, 2014

| THE READER |

cover story

A. Berkshire’s succession is probably the most frequently asked question from audiences, the media, shareholders, and others interested in Berkshire Hathaway. Perhaps it is best explained by the metaphor of the Starfish and the Spider—and a book by the same name that’s subtitled The Unstoppable Power of Leaderless Organizations.

If you believe that Buffett is a spider, then the organization web he has created will die soon after he retires (which he defines will be five years after his death). Or, if you believe Berkshire is like a starfish, then you can cut out the head or even remove each tentacle and the whole or the parts will continue to thrive. The starfish can regenerate itself, just as Berkshire will do.

More specifically, after Buffett “retires” as chairman, CEO, and chief investment officer, his three jobs will be split into three parts: a non-executive chairman, a CEO in charge of operations, and a CEO or CEOs in charge of capital allocation. This is similar to the longtime leadership model of Berkshire subsidiary GEICO, with a chairman, CEO, and CEO of capital allocation.

Berkshire’s non-executive chairman role will likely go to his oldest son, Howard. He is long-time board member whose sole job is to protect the unique culture of Berkshire and overrule the board if decisions are made that threaten its long-established value system.

The CEO in charge of operations, like the GEICO and GE models, will most likely be someone already managing a subsidiary, who is in his or her mid to late forties, in order to allow a long tenure. Candidates currently fitting these parameters include Matt Rose of Burlington Northern Railroad, Greg Able of

MidAmerican Energy Holdings, and Tad Montross at General Reinsurance.

The CEO of capital allocation will be responsible for reinvesting what is now $2 billion in monthly cash flow to headquarters. This role is likely to be divided between Ted Weschler and Todd Combs. Weschler and Combs are already working alongside Buffett, with each allocating $7 billion dollars and, according to their boss, doing a better job than he.

As a side note and to reassure the naysayers, I once asked Buffett, “Why has no one else developed an enterprise like Berkshire?” He answered, “It is difficult to change the culture of a large organization. If you named me CEO of IBM when I was 35, the culture was already so well developed it would have been difficult to change it.”

Q. Why do you still go to the annual meetings? Do you still learn things or have you heard it all before?

A. I still go to meetings, and have not missed one since becoming a shareholder in 1996. I will break my perfect attendance in 2014, and miss the meeting for a very important reason—my daughter’s graduation from graduate school.

I think I, like so many others, make the pilgrimage to Omaha on the first Saturday in May as a touchstone, to reset our compasses on how investing is done in the most businesslike and most rational way.

We go to hear the gospel of value investing, the truth about Wall Street, and to receive guidance on how to lead successful lives from an investing giant whose lessons never grow old or stale. ,

Presented by

Tuesday, April 29 Celebration Luncheon Metropolitan Community College, South Omaha Campus 12:00 PM Thursday, May 1 Latino Fiesta of Comedy & Culture with Mike Robles Guaca Maya Restaurant 8:00 PM Friday, May 2 Spice of South O

Carnival 24th & 25th Streets (M to O) 5:30 - 10:00 PM

Health Fair Plaza de la Raza (25 & N) 12:00 - 3:00 PM

Saturday, May 3 Parade 24th Street (D to L) 10:00 AM - 12:00 PM

Fiesta & Exhibitors Plaza de la Raza (25 & N) & South 24th Street 12:00 PM - 8:00 PM

Fiesta & Exhibitors Plaza de la Raza (25 & N) & South 24th Street 12:00 PM - 6:00 PM

Carnival 24th & 25th Streets (M to O) 12:00 PM - 8:00 PM

Food, Fun, Fiesta and live music!

Carnival 24th & 25th Streets (M to O) 12:00 PM - 10:30 PM

Queen Coronation Main Stage (25 & N) 6:00 p.m.

Sunday, May 4 Mariachi Mass/ Christian Service 10:00 AM

24th & N Street 5:30 PM

Kickoff Concert- Diana Reyes Main Stage (25 & N) 6:30 PM | FREE

Concert Finale Main Stage (25 & N) 4:00 PM

** $3 off all-day ride pass with No Frills or Supermercado receipt. Carnival ride pass available at all Supermercado stores

Gracias Sponsors!

M&M

Insurance Associates

www.CincodeMayoOmaha.com | info@cincodemayoomaha.com | THE READER |

MAY 1 - 7, 2014

9

8 DAYS TOPTV “24”

Mondays, 8 p.m. (Fox)

Counterterrorism agent Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) returns for another season of “24,” but not as a hero this time. Bauer has been a fugitive during the series’ four-year hiatus, hunted by the U.S. and Russia for a vengeful killing spree. He turns up in London during a visit by the President (William Devane) and comes to the attention of the CIA. A disgraced agent (Yvonne Strahovski) realizes the significance of his presence before anyone else does. “He’s up to something,” she surmises. Oh, you think? Sutherland barely says a word during the episode, but he makes an impression with his scowling intensity. Strahovski can hold her own in an espionage setting, having cut her teeth on “Chuck.” And the script delivers an urgent hour of secrets and betrayals, fistfights and fireballs. Per “24” tradition, the episode is set in real time, complete with a digital clock ticking off the minutes. With most series the clock gimmick would be disastrous, reminding you how long an hour can be when you’re bored. But it’s no problem whatsoever in “24.” Time flies when you’re having fun.

— Dean Robbins

10

MAY 1 - 7, 2014

T H E R E A D E R ’ S E N T E RTA I N M E N T P I C K S M AY 1 - 7, 2 014

THURSDAY1

WEARABLE ART

Thursday, May 1-3

ASIATICA WEARABLE ART

Anderson O’Brien Fine Art 1108 Jackson St. 5 p.m., contact venue for charge www.aobfineart.com Image Consultant Anne Fenner and Jo Anderson owner of Anderson O’Brien team up to bring Asiatica to Omaha. Asiatica from Kansas City will arrive at Anderson O’Brien located in the Old Market and will be there for only three days opening 10 a.m.-5:30 p.m. May 1 and running through May 3. Asiatica is a store in Kansas City owned by Elizabeth Wilson and was opened in March 1977.

Wilson will be traveling, with her Asiatica clothing, from New York, Boston, Chicago, St. Louis and Omaha. The clothing is known for its beautiful, stylish and unique vintage Japanese kimono fabrics. They also use Japanese textiles from NUNO and Italian linens and woolens. Contact Anne Fenner for appointments. This exhibit will include an Artists Reception the evening of May 1 from 5-8 p.m.

— Mara Wilson

FRIDAY2 Friday, May 2

HOLDING OUR OWN: A NEUROLOGICAL EVENT

Joslyn Castle, 3902 Davenport St. 6 p.m., $25 | $40 joslyncastle.com Jill Anderson is a professional actor, singer and recording artist. Her career has allowed her to work for multiple theater companies all around including Chicago, Los Angeles, New York and Omaha and she still found time to release three CDs. This talented woman has been experiencing some challenging health issues over the past few months and Holding Our Own is a fundraising benefit for her. Joslyn Castle stated they are honored to be the host site for this benefit, Anderson is a long-time friend of the Castle and is a dynamic

| THE READER |

picks

partner on their literary festivals. The benefit will begin with cocktails at 6 p.m. and performances at 7 p.m. The evening won’t stop there — a silent auction, cash bar and a light menu of appetizers also will be included. Tickets are $25 per person or $40 per person for admission and a signed CD of Anderson’s work. Tickets for the evening can be purchased on the Joslyn Castle website. If you can’t make it out for this fun evening, you can still help support Anderson by making a donation on the event website at www.hoo-omaha.com.

— Mara Wilson

WEDNESDAY7 Wedneday, May 7-25

WICKED

Orpheum Theater, 409 S. 16th St. Tues-Weds: 7:30 p.m. Thurs: 2 & 7:30 p.m. Fri: 8 p.m. Sat: 2 & 8 p.m. Sun: 1:30 & 7 p.m.

Tickets: $35-$165 www.omahaperformingarts.org The Wicked Witch of the West arrives. Fear not.

In living green, she comes decorated by songs and dances and, clearly, not such a bad person as we may have been led to believe. Elphaba, as she is known when swooping down from the pages of

Gregory Maguire’s 1995 marvelous fantasy novel, is not really nasty, even though the Wizard’s repressive government finds her dangerous. Winnie Holzman’s script for the musical mines the book’s spin-off from the L. Frank Baum classic and the Judy Garland movie, shining light on ever-hot themes such as the nature of evil and racism. The origins of the Scarecrow may seem truly scary.

Glinda the Good becomes even more of a bubblehead than Billie Burke. And Dorothy Gale barely materializes. This three-Tony hit, with songs by Stephen Schwartz (Godspell, Pippin), has had a 10year flight on Broadway and keeps on enchanting audiences. A magical journey.

— Gordon Spencer WICKED

TICKETS ON SALE NOW

ALICE IN CHAINS

STAIND

WITH SEVENDUST

MAY 24

JUNE 1

WILLIE NELSON & ALISON KRAUSS

COLLECTIVE SOUL

WITH GIN BLOSSOMS JUNE 7

THE BAND PERRY

O.A.R. AND PHILLIP PHILLIPS JUNE 15

WITH SPECIAL GUEST TOAD THE WET SPROCKET JULY 26

JULY 19

JULY 11

FITZ AND THE TANTRUMS

ARCTIC MONKEYS JULY 30

JULY 27

A L L AG E S P E RM I T T E D. T I CK E T S AVA IL A BL E AT S T IRC OV E.C O M O R BY P H O N E AT 1- 8 0 0 -74 5 -30 0 0.

123232_10x10_4c_Ad_V2.indd 1

AMERICAN IDOL LIVE! AUGUST 3 ON SALE M AY 9TH

JULY 5

COUNTING CROWS

DIERKS BENTLEY

JULY 18

MATT NATHANSON & GAVIN DEGRAW

FOSTER THE PEOPLE AUGUST 5

PAT BENATAR AND NEIL GIRALDO

WITH SPECIAL GUEST LITA FORD

AUGUST 15

MANY MORE TO COME...

| THE READER |

MAY 1 - 7, 20144/24/14

11

3:27 PM

12

MAY 1 - 7, 2014

| THE READER |

coldcream

■ Nebraska Shakespeare celebrated the Bard’s 450th birthday last Wednesday by getting Gov. Dave Heinemann to declare the day Talk Like Shakespeare Day. Several events were planned to kick off awareness of the upcoming Shakespeare on the Green Festival, with several businesses hosting Shakespeare-themed specials.

■ The Blue Barn Theatre kicked off publicity for the upcoming production of 33 Variations with a joint event with Omaha Chamber Music Society. Pianist Hal France was joined by the string quartet to perform the music of Beethoven while giving insight on his variation and compositional style.

■ After having to postpone their latest production 30 Days of May, the neo-futurist collective RED Theatre Omaha has decided to fill the blank space in their schedule with a “greatest hits” of sorts entitled Encore.

The show will be a collection of their most popular works from the past year. The format will remain the same, with audience members choosing plays at random with the objective of performing 30 original shows in 60 minutes. The collective says they like to use vaudeville, slam poetry, cinematic realism, and music videos to create theatrical works that ask “dangerous questions.” Encore will be performed on Friday, May 2nd at Bancroft Street Market on 10th and Bancroft Street.

■ When not on stage performing the popular Wizard of Oz prequel Wicked, the Broadway touring cast will be participating in an anti-bullying summit Thursday, May 8. Two hundred sixty-five students and adults are expected to attend the daylong summit, which will include interactive antibullying workshops for students in grades 8 through 11.

Educators, youth group leaders, counselors and college education majors will also participate in anti-bullying workshops specifically tailored for adults who work with students. The workshops, led by facilitators from the Anti-Defamation League, will focus on tools students can use to become anti-bullying advocates in their own schools.

Omaha Performing Arts says that the themes discussed during the workshops are the same themes that are the foundation of Wicked’s national emphasis on anti-bullying.

Also speaking with the Broadway cast will be former Nebraska quarterback and Heisman Trophy winner Eric Crouch.

Crouch currently works as a sponsor for the organization No Place for Hate.

Wicked will run from May 7-25 at the Orpheum Theater. For ticket information, go to www.ticketomaha.com or www.omahaperformingarts.com.

— William Grennan Cold Cream looks at theater in the metro area. Email information to coldcream@thereader.com

FERTILE GROUND BY MEG SALIGMAN

I N P R A I S E O F M E T R O P U B L I C A R T, VO L . 1

T

BY MICHAEL J. KRAINAK

e Metro’s major force ODYSSEY BY ALBERT PALEY in area public art funding and support, the Iowa West Foundation, has commissioned the estimable American artist Mark di Suvero to create a sculpture for Tom Hanafan River’s Edge Park to add to Council Bluffs’ impressive collection of such.

Di Suvero’s international reputation is based upon his massive steel sculptures that challenge viewer expectations in a style of abstract expressionism. This untitled piece will complement many other non-traditional works on both sides of the Bob Kerrey Pedestrian Bridge. To augment the artist’s installation, the Joslyn orange with high-spirited abandon both poetic and inArt Museum will exhibit drawings related to the commission as well as additional dustrial.

But if your notion of “good” public art is a general on prints and sculpture of his from June 7-Sept. 7.

According to Joslyn’s show statement, di Suvero is horseback or Westward Ho’ the Wagons, what follows “unique in his compelling investigation of geometric may not be of interest either. Not that there is anything forms and lines…that strike a careful balance between wrong with figurative and narrative sculpture in bronze, monumentality and delicacy....” And often in bright concrete and ceramic, but surely a community in the

culture

21st century that considers itself relevant and contemporary lives in the present as well as the past, with at least one eye on the future.

So, while spring once again begins to shine on our more obvious public art, certain other, more modern renditions should share the sunlight with an equal amount of civic pride.

And they will, that is, to those of us who take the time and our eyes off the smart phones and personal navi devices that prevent us from seeing the “sites” and put us in harms way on Metro streets and bi-ways.

Public art in the Metro falls easily into two viewer categories: those on nearly everyday high traffic sites, and those more out of sight, out of mind, discovered by the more adventurous suffering from less myopic or tunnel vision. Following is a list of personal favorites of significant public art in the former category, Vol. 1 in no particular order, with site and artist. Vol. 2 of the latter in the near future.

1. By the Bucket Full by one of Omaha’s most creative artists, Jamie Burmeister. It’s a delightfully kinetic continued on page 18 y

| THE READER |

MAY 1 - 7, 2014

17

y continued from page 17 piece of welded steel in the Gene Leahy Mall that never fails to draw an audience.

2. Mangonel II, one of several imposing steel sculptures from iconic area sculptor Sidney Buchanan, this dark, twisted, impossibly balanced windmill of sorts also sits on the Mall.

3. Murals, one popular form of public art, dominate in the Metro, none the least of which is the expressive, yet understated Freedom Through Books by Gerard Pefung, Angel Gomez and Bernie Baxter at the Swanson Public Library. Another great example of positive street art from the Kent Bellows Studio.

4. Perhaps the last word in mural art in the Metro is the Bemis Center’s ironically titled Fertile Ground that sprawls happily across the eastern wall of the Energy Systems building at 13th and Webster. It’s Omaha’s story, past, present and, yes, even future put to 3D effect sans any annoying glasses by artist Meg Saligman, proving that narrative, figurative public art can be contemporary as well.

5. Totemic sculptures also have their place in public art. Omaha has several including the most visibly striking Totem by Catherine Ferguson, a tall, winsome tribute to prehistoric people of Central North America that graces the west entrance of downtown’s W. Dale Clark Library. A joy from every angle and notable for its “empty” spaces as well as its figurative structure.

6. No less significant for their sheer numbers and erudite simplicity are the nine totems that make up A Panoramic Rendering of the Journey of Discovery, which give an artistic interpretation of the historic Lewis and Clark Corps of Discovery Expedition, 1804-

18

MAY 1 - 7, 2014

1806. Seldom has enlightenment, read history, looked this imaginative, imbedded as it were, in this many obelisks, particularly work by Littleton Alston and Susan Knight.

7. Fire in the Hole by Jon Barlow-Hudson commands attention in the Omaha Douglas Civic Center Plaza more for its aesthetic. This radiant, reflective diamond in six metal pieces bejewels otherwise rather dull surroundings even on a dull day.

8. The last three pieces are best appreciated from a car as they beckon to travellers coming and going from the Metro. The title of the first, Abstract Fountain, by sculptor Rod Kagan, doesn’t do justice to the imaginative 40’ tall piece at 2200 Abbott Drive that signals flights of fancy for those on the way to Eppley Airfield and greetings to those who enter Omaha at its most imposing doorstep.

9. A remarkably different Metro gateway marker is the Stored Potential project of Emerging Terrain, which with the help of several local artists converted a set of eyesore silos at roughly Vinton St and I-80 near the 42th street exit. This colorful, graphic mix of mural and totem greets 76,000 commuters and others with its variation on, and veneration of, Ceres, the Roman goddess of agriculture and fertility.

10. But nothing on Metro highway and bi-way has been more dramatic and controversial than Albert Paley’s magnificent gateway installation, Odyssey, which sits at the four corners of the S. 24th Street bridge on Iowa I-80. Travellers either get it or not as this spiraling, twisted filigree of steel and bronze eschews the figurative in favor of an elemental burst of energy on the go.

It’s art appreciation at 70 mph. ,

| THE READER |

culture

BY THE BUCKET FULL BY JAMIE BURMEISTER

overtheedge LIFESTYLE COLUMN BY TIM MCMAHAN

The Saga of the MINI Cooper: Pt. 3: Regrets, I’ve Had a Few… This is part three of a series that ran in the April 17 and April 24 issues of The Reader. Read those previous columns online at www.thereader.com/news

T

he first shock came three months after the warranty on my beloved 2005 MINI Cooper S convertible expired.

Because there’s very little onboard storage, the model doesn’t come with spare tires. Instead, they’re equipped with “ride flat” Michelins. In addition to wearing poorly (bald after 20k miles), they provide a ride quality akin to what The Flintstones must have been familiar with.

You could feel every pebble on the road with teeth-chattering clarity.

Not only are they shitty tires, ride-flats cost three times as much as standard tires, especially if you’re stupid enough to buy them at the dealership. As I was.

By 2009 Omaha had its first and only MINI Cooper dealership — Markel BMW (MINI is owned by BMW, which will explain some of what follows). I point out now that my angst is not targeted at Markel, though one could say they play some role in the conspiracy. Since virtually no other auto garage will work on MINIs except for oil changes, MINI drivers are forced to drive to Markel every time one of the myriad “trouble lights” go off on the dashboard to remind you how stupid you were to buy a MINI. But at least I no longer had to drive to Kansas City to get fleeced.

For example, my 25,000-mile routine service/inspection (check belts, change fluids, etc.) cost just under $800.

But the big-ticket items started rolling in just a few months later. It was a warm late-May afternoon. I was walking across the parking garage after work and thought I’d use my key’s remote to retract the power roof — a nice feature. But as I walked closer, I noticed something was wrong. Only one side of the top had retracted, the other side was “stuck.” I was able to get the top closed, but from that point forward, the top wouldn’t “drop” again. I felt something twist in my stomach.

I went online to try to self-diagnose the problem. There are a number of MINI Cooper webboards where fellow drivers congregate like disaster survivors, comparing their cars’ many ills. Power top problems were apparently common, so much so people had threatened class action law suits. The cost to fix the top could be minimal or could be astronomical. I was told to prepare for the worst.

I dropped off my car at the dealership the next morning and got a call later that afternoon. One of the top’s cables snapped. By itself, not a huge problem, but since the top had only gone down halfway on one side, the metal framework was bent and would have to be replaced.

Total cost to repair: $3,300. Something started to vibrate in my brain while a series of ghost images appeared above my head, laughing. I was shocked. Since I drive a 4x4 in the winter, the MINI only had 26,000 miles on the odometer. I pleaded with the dealership, but was told there were no other options.

Livid, I called MINI’s customer service phone number. The woman who took my call said, regrettably, even though I had so few miles on my car, I was outside the warranty period. I argued that it clearly was a manufacturer’s defect, that I had dropped the top fewer than 100 times over the past four years. Too bad.

I spoke to her boss, then I spoke to her boss’s boss. At wit’s end, I (stupidly) told them I was a journalist and social media practitioner, and would love to document my MINI experience for my readers. That got someone’s attention. The next person I spoke to said MINI would no longer fix my car.

Panicked, I drove to the Stan Olson VW dealership next door to Markel and checked out their convertibles.

I figured I’d just trade my MINI for another car, but was told with the top damaged, the car was virtually valueless — who wants to buy a convertible that doesn’t work?

Trapped, I dropped off my MINI at Markel and prayed they hadn’t talked to the front office. A day later, my top was fixed and I was out $3,300. Thereafter, every time I dropped the top, I calculated the cost. Let’s see, I’ve dropped the top 20 times since the repair, that comes to… $165 per drop.

Two years later while tooling around town, my power steering pump conked out. Cornering required cranking the wheel with all my might, as if pulling a dead body out of a well. I consulted the MINI drivers’ webboard/losers’ club and prepared for the worst, again. Apparently used to these kind of phone calls, Markel’s MINI service had begun the conversation with, “Do you have an extended warranty?” It was kind of like going to the doctor and being asked if you had insurance. When I said “no,” there was a long pause on the other end of the line, followed by a heavy sigh.

That one cost $1,700 to fix, but a year later I got my money back because the power steering pump was declared a recall item.

Then late last year the transmission began to get bucky.

I took the car in and $1,200 later was told the diagnostics came back negative for transmission trouble (Hooray!), though it would take some time for the onboard computer — which controls the automatic transmission — to “relearn my driving habits.” Had the car needed transmission repairs, I would have expected to pay between $8,000 and $10,000, according to the poor bastards at the MINI webboard who had gone through the same procedure (of which there were many).

I had hoped to get 10 years out of my MINI. Despite the costly problems, I loved the car. In fact, I kept it as long as I did because I couldn’t find another convertible that even came close to the way it looked and drove.

But with only 52,000 miles on the odometer, I’d had enough. I felt lucky just to get rid of it. Lucky that I got off as easy as I did considering the litany of horror stories I’d heard from other MINI owners. Lucky I had the kind of income that allowed me to write checks for multi-thousanddollar repairs. What happens to those folks who simply can’t afford the bills? Where do all the broken MINIs, still looking shiny and new, go to die? ,

MIKE BIRBIGLIA THANK GOD FOR JOKES TOUR 2014

Holland Performing Arts Center THURSDAY, MAY 15 7:30PM SHOW

Tickets: Ticket Omaha Box Office 1-402-345-0606 • Ticketomaha.com

OVER THE EDGE is a weekly column by Reader senior contributing writer Tim McMahan focused on culture, society, music, the media and the arts. Email Tim at tim.mcmahan@gmail.com. And be sure to check out his blog at Lazy-i.com

STEVE LITMAN PRESENTS

over the edge

| THE READER |

MAY 1 - 7, 2014

19

livemusiccalendar

SEND CALENDAR INFORMATION — including addresses, dates, times, costs and phone numbers — to The Reader’s calendar editor. Mail to or drop off information at P.O. Box 7360 Omaha, NE 68107; email to listings@thereader.com; fax to (402) 341.6967. Deadline is 5 p.m. the Thursday prior to issue date.

THURSDAY 1

TRES EQUIS (RE-ONION!), 6 pm, 21st Saloon, Contact venue for charge.

FIRST THURSDAY, 9 pm, Bar 415, FREE. JOE & DREW OF ROCK PAPER DYNAMITE WITH LA GUERRE, REBECCA LOWRY & MATT FISCUS, (Rock) 9 pm, Barley Street Tavern, $5.

KEVIN GATES, 8 pm, Bourbon Theater, $25 ADV | $30 DOS. COREY SMITH, (Country) 8 pm, Coyote Willy’s, $10.

NEW MOON SONGWRITERS NIGHT, (Folk/Singer-Songwriter) 7 pm, Crescent Moon Coffee, FREE. DOWN IN CIRCLES W/LETTER BOMB, 9 pm, Knickerbockers, Contact venue for charge.

SMOOTH JAZZ THURSDAYS AT THE OZONE LOUNGE W/ED ARCHIBALD, (Jazz) 6:30 pm, OzoNE Lounge at Anthony’s Steakhouse, FREE. DAVID MURPHY CD RELEASE PARTY, 5:30 pm, Pizza Shoppe Collective, $5.

JOSH AUDISS ARTIST OF THE MONTH, 9 pm, Pizza Shoppe Collective, Contact venue for charge.

THE SWAMP BLUES JAM NIGHT, (Blues) 7:30 pm, Rusty Nail Pub, Contact venue for charge.

1% PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS DELETED SCENES W/TALKING MOUNTAIN, MILLIONS OF BOYS, 8 pm, Slowdown, $8.

CHRIS SAUB, 7 pm, Stokes Grill and Bar, Contact venue for charge.

REGGAE NIGHT, (Reggae/Island) 8 pm, The Hive Lounge, Contact venue for charge.

ACOUSTIC NIGHT, 8 pm, The Tavern, FREE. ACOUSTIC MUSIC THURSDAYS!, 8 pm, Two Fine Irishmen, Contact venue for charge.

YABBA GRIFFITHS, 9 pm, Venue 51, $7.

THE NADAS, (Rock) 9 pm, Waiting Room, $12 ADV | $15 DOS. ACOUSTIC JAM, 1 pm, Western Historic Trails Center, FREE. THE ROCABILLYS!, 6 pm, Zoo Bar, Contact venue for charge.

EVAN BARTELS, MIKE SEMRAD AND GERARDO MEZA, 9 pm, Zoo Bar, $5.

FRIDAY 2

3D IN YOUR FACE, (Rock) 9 pm, 21st Saloon, $5.

CHARM SCHOOL DROPOUTS, 9 pm, Arena Bar & Grill, FREE. KAZTE, CAYALA AND SPIRALE, 9 pm, Bar 415, $5.

SNAKE ISLAND! W/ CRUSHED OUT, BATTLING GIANTS AND UH OH, 9 pm, Barley Street Tavern, $5.

THE 402, (Cover Band) 7 pm, Borsheims, Contact venue for charge.

INDUSTRIAL NIGHT W/PLACK BLAGUE AND PEDESTRIAN DEPOSIT, (Punk/Rock) 8 pm, Bourbon Theater, 21+ $5 | 18-20 $7.

ASHDOWN FOREST W/BLACK LIGHTHOUSE AND THE ABSTRACT, 5 pm, Bourbon Theater, 21+ $5 | Under 21 $7.

JASON EARL, (Country) 8 pm, Coyote Willy’s, $5.

CHRIS SHELTON, (Rock) 9 pm, Firewater Grille, Contact venue for charge.

LUCAS KELLISON “UNDISCO WOOD”, 8 pm, Harney Street Tavern, FREE. ZOE KEATING, (Classical) 8 pm, Holland Performing Arts Center, $30.

KARAOKE THEATRE, 9 pm, House Of Loom, FREE. HOLDING OUR OWN: A NEUROLOGICAL EVENT -- A BENEFIT FOR JILL ANDERSON, 6 pm, Joslyn Castle, $25 | $40.

THE WINDUP W/HUSBAND BULGE, 9 pm, Knickerbockers, Contact venue for charge.

ECKOPHONIC, 8 pm, Loose Moose, FREE. PEACE, LOVE AND STRYCHNINE, 7 pm, Mo Jave Cafe, Contact venue for charge.

AN EVENING WITH 2 HEADED DOG, 9:30 pm, O’Leaver’s Pub, $5.

RED DELICIOUS, 7 pm, OzoNE Lounge at Anthony’s Steakhouse, Contact venue for charge.

KARAOKE, 9:30 pm, Rusty Nail Pub, Contact venue for charge.

1% PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS UH HUH HER W/DJ KIM ANH, (Rock/Indie/DJ/Electronic) 8 pm, Slowdown, $12.

SOARING WINGS VINEYARD FRIDAY NIGHT MUSIC W/WILDFIRE, 8 pm, Soaring Wings Vineyard, $5.

DJS FROM MARS PRESENTED BY CAPITOL AND HLN, 8 pm, Sokol Hall & Auditorium, $10 ADV | $15 DOS. TAKE THE STAGE KARAOKE, 8 pm, Stir Live & Loud, Contact venue for charge.

INDIGOSUN, (Jazz/DJ/Electronic) 8 pm, The Hive Lounge, FREE. SILVER STREET SHOWCASE FEATURING JOSH HOYER & THE SHADOWBOXERS AND THE 9’S, (Rock) 9 pm, Vega, $10.

FRIDAY AFTERNOON CONCERT SERIES W/BIRDBRAIN, 6 pm, Venue 51, FREE. FADED W/THE YOUNG FUNK AND RIPPA, 8 pm, Venue 51, $5.

MITCH GETTMAN CD RELEASE W/MUSHMOUTH, 9 pm, Waiting Room, $8.

KARAOKE, 9 pm, West Lanes Bowling Blue Magoo Lounge, Contact venue for charge.

THE MEZCAL BROTHERS, (Blues) 5 pm, Zoo Bar, Contact venue for charge.

SATURDAY 3

TWO SHAKES, PARKER GRAYSON & JOHN LARSEN, (Rock) 7 pm, 402 Arts Collective/ Aromas Coffeehouse, $6.

THE CONFIDENTIALS, 8 pm, Ameristar Casino, FREE. GROOVE PUPPET, 9 pm, Arena Bar & Grill, FREE. BENNY ALVAREZ & JOHNNY INVISIBLE, 9 pm, Bar 415, $5.

VAGO W/KING OF THE TRAMPS AND KOREY ANDERSON, 9 pm, Barley Street Tavern, $5.

PEGBOARD NERDS, 8 pm, Bourbon Theater, $15 ADV | $18 DOS. JUDD HOOS, (Rock) 9 pm, Chrome Lounge, Contact venue for charge.

TRIBESMAN BENEFIT, (Country) 8 pm, Coyote Willy’s, Contact venue for charge.

DJ’S DUGOUT BLAZIN’ PIANOS W/WHITNEY MAXWELL AND FRANK MCGLYNN, (Cover Band) 9 pm, DJ’s Dugout West, Contact venue for charge.

THE INDULGERS, 8 pm, Dubliner Pub, $3.

KARAOKE, 8 pm, Firewater Grille, Contact venue for cover charge.

SATURDAY LIVE JAZZ, (Jazz) 9 pm, Harney Street Tavern, FREE. DAVID ZOLLO, (Indie) 9 pm, Havana Garage, FREE. ITZHAK PERLMAN IN RECITAL, (Classical) 8 pm, Holland Performing Arts Center, $35-$90.

KNICKERBOCKERS 21ST BIRTHDAY PARTY: LIVE MUSIC FROM THE POWERS W/RED CITIES, 8 pm, Knickerbockers, Contact venue for charge.

JOHN DOE, 8 pm, Loose Moose, FREE. THE REVOLUTIONARY WARS, 7 pm, Mo Jave Cafe, Contact venue for charge.

PEACE, LOVE, ETC., (Rock) 7 pm, OzoNE Lounge at Anthony’s Steakhouse, Contact venue for charge.

JOSH HOYER & THE SHADOWBOXERS, (Rock) 8 pm, Parliament Pub Downtown, Contact venue for charge.

BLUES ED SHOWCASE, (Blues) 2 pm, Pizza Shoppe Collective, Contact venue for charge.

HECTOR ANCHONDO BAND, (Blues) 9 pm, Rusty Nail Pub, Contact venue for charge.

SONS OF POOR, 8 pm, Shamrock’s Pub & Grill, Contact venue for charge.

1% PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS KARMIN - #PULSES TOUR W/ BONNIE MCKEE, 7 pm, Slowdown, $20 ADV | $22 DOS. LIVE MUSIC W/ZACH SHORT, 8 pm, Stories Coffeehouse, Contact venue for charge.

STEEPWATER BAND, 8 pm, The Hive Lounge, Contact venue for charge.

NEW DAY TRIO, 3 pm, TriPointe Coffeehouse, FREE. LEMON FRESH DAY, (Cover Band) 9 pm, Two Fine Irishmen, Contact venue for charge.

MIDWEST ELITE CONCERTS PRESENTS: ONE MORE ROUND: A TRIBUTE TO JOHNNY CASH W/MICHAEL CLARK, 9 pm, Waiting Room, $12.

YABBA GRIFFITHS, 9 pm, Zoo Bar, $6.

SUNDAY 4

FRIENDS OF DELIA A BENEFIT W/THE JERRY PRANKSTERS, THE BLUES MESSENGERS, CATTYWHOMPASS, FARTHER & SUN, 5 pm, Bourbon Theater, Free will donation at door.

SALSA SUNDAY W/ LATIN MADNESS, 7 pm, House Of Loom, $5.

O’LEAVER’S OPEN MIC NIGHT, 9 pm, O’Leaver’s Pub, FREE. LUKE POLIPNICK TRIO FEAT. DANA MURRAY, MAX STEHR, (Jazz) 8 pm, Side Door Lounge, FREE. HANDSOME AS SIN W/PULLMAN STANDARD, 8 pm, Slowdown, $10.

20

MAY 1 - 7, 2014

| THE READER |

music listings

SOARING WINGS VINEYARD SUNDAY MUSIC W/MARK IRVIN, 2 pm, Soaring Wings Vineyard, FREE. BALLROOM DANCING W/MUSIC BY THE JIMMY B ORCHESTRA, 3 pm, Sokol Hall & Auditorium, $12.

KOFFIN KATS, AMERICAN DISCHORD, THE SHIDIOTS, & HUGE FUCKING WAVES, (Punk) 8 pm, The Hideout Lounge, $8 21+ | $10 18-20.

JEAZLEPEATS W/ BETTER FRIENDS AND AMBULANTERS, 8 pm, Vega, 21+ $5 | Under 21 $7.

SUNDAY ROADHOUSE PRESENTS: BILL KIRCHEN, 5 pm, Waiting Room, $20 ADV | $25 DOS. THE MEZCAL BROTHERS, (Blues) 2 pm, Zoo Bar, FREE. TRES EQUIS REUNION!, 6 pm, Zoo Bar, $7.

MONDAY 5

OPEN MIC NIGHT, 6 pm, 402 Arts Collective/ Aromas Coffeehouse, FREE. OPEN MIC & SONGWRITER SHOWCASE, (Folk/SingerSongwriter) 9 pm, Barley Street Tavern, FREE. MOUNT SALEM, 8 pm, Bourbon Theater, Contact venue for charge.

FIRST CUT INDUSTRY NIGHT W/ DJ DRDRIGGS, (DJ/Electronic) 9 pm, House Of Loom, FREE. LET ALONE W/GRISWOLD AND TIMECAT, 9:30 pm, O’Leaver’s Pub, $5.

MIKE GURCIULLO AND HIS LAS VEGAS BAND, (Cover Band) 7 pm, OzoNE Lounge at Anthony’s Steakhouse, Contact venue for charge.

WAITING ROOM MUSIC QUIZ, 8 pm, Waiting Room, FREE. ZOO BAR HOUSE BAND, 7 pm, Zoo Bar, $3.

PIANO HOUR W/ EMILY BASS, 5 pm, Zoo Bar, Contact venue for charge.

TUESDAY 6

VIC NASTY, 8 pm, Bar 415, FREE. FAUX REALITY W/BETTER FRIEND, 7 pm, Bourbon Theater, 21+ $5 | Under 21 $7.

OPEN MIC, (Folk/Singer-Songwriter) 8 pm, Dubliner Pub, FREE. OPEN MIC NIGHT, 9:30 pm, Dubliner Pub, FREE. FUNK TREK W/LUCAS KELLISON & THE UNDISCO KIDS, 9 pm, Duffy’s Tavern, FREE. TRACY SKRETTA, (Rock) 8 pm, Firewater Grille, Contact venue for charge.

AN EVENING WITH JOHN LEGEND, (Hip-Hop/Rap) 7:30 pm, Holland Performing Arts Center, $51-$81.

JOHN LEGEND, (Folk/Singer-Songwriter) 7:30 pm, Holland Performing Arts Center, Tickets start at $50.

ELISIUM, 9 pm, Knickerbockers, Contact venue for charge.

SCOTT EVANS & FRIENDS, 7 pm, OzoNE Lounge at Anthony’s Steakhouse, Contact venue for charge.

LUKE POLIPNICK, MITCH TOWNE, DANA MURRAY, (Jazz) 8:30 pm, Pageturners Lounge, FREE. OPEN MIC HOSTED BY DAVE YOBLE, 8 pm, Venue 51, FREE. LITTLE HURRICANE, 9 pm, Waiting Room, $12.

JAZZOCRACY, (Jazz) 6 pm, Zoo Bar, FREE. DJ RELIC SOUL PARTY, 8 pm, Zoo Bar, FREE.

WEDNESDAY 7

THE BOURBON THEATRE & MAMMOTH LIVE PRESENTS: THE DAN BAND, 7 pm, Bourbon Theater, $20 ADV | $22 DOS. DICEY RILEYS, 7 pm, Brazen Head Irish Pub, FREE. BILL CHRASTIL, 7 pm, OzoNE Lounge at Anthony’s Steakhouse, Contact venue for charge.

1% PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS MAYDAY PARADE W/WE ARE THE IN CROWD, TRANSIT AND DIVIDED BY FRIDAY, 6 pm, Slowdown, $20.

SWEATSHOP GALLERY PRESENTS: PERFECT PUSSY W/YAMANTAKA SONIC TITAN, GREEN DREAMS AND NO THANKS, 9 pm, Sweatshop Gallery, $10.

SUPER HAPPY FUNTIME BURLESQUE, 9 pm, Waiting Room, $10.

THE NIGHTHAWKS, 6 pm, Zoo Bar, Contact venue for charge.

WHITEY MORGAN & THE 78S W/ANGEL & THE DEVILS, 9 pm, Zoo Bar, $8.

BY B.J. HUCHTEMANN

Hot Rod Roadhouse

S

unday Roadhouse hosts the return of Bill Kirchen this Sunday, May 4, at Waiting Room, 5 p.m. Kirchen is a favorite of promoters Dean Dobmeier and Gary Grobeck, who began presenting Kirchen while staging shows at the now defunct Mick’s in Benson (now the Sydney). Kirchen’s hip, guitar-guru status is such that he is likely “the only person to have, in a single year, stood on stage and played with both Ralph Stanley and Elvis Costello,” according to his press materials.

Kirchen cut his musical teeth as the co-founder of Commander Cody & His Lost Planet Airmen. His guitar prowess drove their song “Hot Rod Lincoln” into the 1972 Top Ten. But Kirchen has gone on to be a roots-rock/Americana champion and innovator, receiving a Grammy nomination in 2001 while releasing ten CDs as a bandleader and guitarist.

He is touring with his most recent, Seeds & Stems.

Guitar Player magazine calls him the “Titan of the Telecaster.” Rolling Stone says he’s “an American treasure” and “one of our best.” See billkirchen.com and sundayroadhouse.com. Sunday Roadhouse also presents Hayes Carll Sunday, May 25.

Brad Cordle Back Onstage Omaha’s own Brad Cordle has been recovering from some serious health

hoodoo

set backs. He’ll return to the stage at The 21st Saloon on Sunday, May 4, 6 p.m. as part of John Villella’s retirement party. An all-star jam of local musicians will follow Cordle’s set. The event is open to the public.

Hot Notes Josh Hoyer & the Shadowboxers’ CD is No. 2 on the Roots Music Report Soul Chart, holding second to Sharon Jones in first place. See joshhoyerandtheshadowboxers.com and rootsmusic report.com.

Dallas blues rockers Jason Elmore & Hoodoo Witch are up at McKenna’s on Friday, May, 2, approximately 8 p.m. Elmore was voted Best Blues 2012 by the Dallas Observer Music Awards and his 2013 disc Tell You What was nominated for a Blues Blast Music Award for Best Blues/Rock Album of the Year.

40SINNERS opens.

Chicago’s rockin’ The Steepwater Band is at The Hive Saturday, May 3, see steepwater.com.

Local band Tres Equis reunites at The 21st Saloon Thursday, May 1, featuring Storm Rhode IV, who these days plays guitar for roots-rocker James Intveld’s band. The band also plays the Zoo Bar Sunday, May 4, 6-9 p.m. as well as a couple of other shows.

Washington, D.C.’s The Nighthawks bring their classic blues to The 21st Thursday, May 8.

The Nighthawks also perform at Lincoln’s Zoo Bar Wednesday, May 7, both shows 6-9 p.m. ,

ReaderHalfPage5/1/14_Layout 1 4/21/14 12:02 PM Page 1

Roller Derby MAY 10 • JUNE 7

Ticketmaster.com

HOODOO is a weekly column focusing on blues, roots, Americana and occasional other music styles with an emphasis on live music performances. Hoodoo columnist B.J. Huchtemann is a Reader senior contributing writer and veteran music journalist who has covered the local music scene for nearly 20 years. Follow her blog at hoodoorootsblues.blogspot.com.

Sometimes I wonder,

if airlines served normal sized food, would Jerry Seinfeld still be famous?

62nd & Maple jakescigars.com

OMAHAROLLERGIRLS.ORG hoodoo

| THE READER |

MAY 1 - 7, 2014

21

newsoftheweird

T H E WO R L D G O N E F R E A K Y B Y C H U C K S H E P H E R D W I T H I L LU S T R AT I O N S B Y T O M B R I S C O E

Alter Egos

F

irst-term U.S. Rep. Ted Yoho of Florida is already among the House’s most conservative members, but his Republican primary challenger claims to be even more so -- but with a quixotic, longtime hobby as a costumed, role-playing “gamer.” Challenger Jake Rush (in his day job, a lawyer) portrays supernatural characters as a prominent member of the national Mind’s Eye Society and Florida’s Covenant of the Poisoned Absinthe, including a vampire named “Chazz Darling,” who, according to a Yahoo message board, once left an explicit, body-parts-bloodying threat to a role-player with whom he had been feuding. (The Florida political report SaintPetersBlog broke the story -- and was quickly criticized, less by Rush’s political defenders than by the indignant “cosplay” community, feeling mocked.)

Government in Action A scandal erupted in 2013 at Minot (N.D.) Air Force Base when missile-launch specialists were charged with cheating on proficiency tests, but additional documents uncovered by the Associated Press in March 2014 show that the problem was worse than originally reported. The overall missile-launch program, run by “missileers,” was judged “substandard” -- the equivalent of an F grade in school -- and “rehabilitated” in the eyes of Air Force officers only because the 91st Missile Wing Command’s support staff (cooks, drivers, clerks, etc.) scored very high and brought the command’s overall performance to the equivalent of a D. -- The tax software company Vertex reported in March, via the Tax Foundation, that tax-hating American states have somehow organized themselves into nearly 10,000 sales/use-tax jurisdictions with distinct rules, coverages or exemptions. Ironically, states criticized as tax profligates sometimes have the simplest sys-

22

MAY 1 - 7, 2014

| THE READER |

weird news

tems (e.g., one set of rules covering the entire state, such as in Connecticut, Massachusetts and Washington, D.C.) while states regarded as refuges from intrusive government often have the most complicated (e.g., 310 different jurisdictions in Utah, 587 in Oklahoma, 994 in Iowa and 1,515 in Texas).

-- Formally asking a sweetheart to “please be my (boyfriend/girlfriend)” is said to be a traditional romantic milestone in Japanese relationships, and the town of Nagareyama in Chiba Prefecture now provides a government document to commemorate that big step (for a filing fee, of course). In fact, according to the news site RocketNews24. com, since only one party need file the document, the town hopes the form will become a strategic step to declare one’s love without the need for messy, face-to-face, rejection-risking confrontation (and also become a robust municipal-revenue producer).

Great Art! British artist Millie Brown, 27, profiled in January in London’s Daily Mail, creates Jackson Pollock-style canvases by vomiting on them after ingesting colored soy milk. Brown (whose work hangs in London’s Ripley’s Believe It or Not! showcase) said she fasts for two days prior to public performances and, as the show starts, times her ingestions so that the proper hues don’t prematurely mix in her stomach. Her appearance, at work, in a Lady Gaga music video brought her a somewhat larger audience. Said the understated Brown, “I am able to challenge people’s perceptions of beauty.”

-- Paris’ Hunting and Wildlife Museum hosted, from April 1 to April 13, artist Abraham Poincheval’s real-time demonstration of “birth and rebirth” -- his living completely inside a hollowed-out bear carcass the entire time, eating, drinking, reading, sleeping and relieving himself (down the bear’s legs) before a live camera, with a viewing window for spectators. Poincheval, who in a previous installation lived for a while in a hole, likened the experience merely to the cramped quarters of astronauts.

COPYRIGHT 2014 CHUCK SHEPHERD. Visit Chuck Shepherd daily at NewsoftheWeird. blogspot.com or NewsoftheWeird.com. Send Weird News to WeirdNewsTips@yahoo.com or P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL 33679. Illustrations by Tom Briscoe (smallworldcomics.com).

Police Report Petty Theft: (1) Although Douglas Lydic, 29, escaped from a patrol car in December in Commodore, Pa., while handcuffed (and was soon re-captured), prosecutors declined to charge him with fleeing since he was merely being “detained” at the time. However, they did charge Lydic with theft of the handcuffs.

(2) Petty and Tacky: Dustin Bell, 25, wearing a police officer’s badge that had been stolen from the Sand Springs, Okla., department, apparently only casually considered how to wield his newly acquired “authority.” He was arrested in April after asking at a Tulsa tanning salon for a lawenforcement discount -- to get a $34 session for $10.

-- Misunderstanding: Four Maine State Police troopers rushed to a home in the town of China in January, alarmed by 911 calls about an assault in progress (according to neighbors who reported raucous screaming). Trooper Thomas Bureau found that the suspected “crime scene” was the home of a pig farmer, who showed troopers the pen out back in which a male had been placed with five sows “in heat” and that the squealing (either by the sows or the beleaguered male) was not unusual.

-- Hard Times Ahead: (1) Ms. Terry Boyd, 52, was ordered to probation in Wausau, Wis., in February on charges of imprisoning two men in a secondstory bedroom, leaving them screaming for help from a window. According to police, Boyd had refused to release the men until at least one agreed to have sex with her. (2) After Maria MontanezColon, 58, called 911 in February in Punta Gorda, Fla., the responding officer reported that she immediately began fondling him, describing herself as “horny,” noting “I haven’t been penetrated in years.” The officer politely declined and warned her about frivolous 911 calls, but Montanez-Colon was arrested shortly afterward when she called again, asking the second responding officer, “How else am I going to get (to have sex)?”

-- Possibly DUI: (1) Michael Moore, 61, who had left home in a huff on March 4 after his wife accused him of excessive drinking, was arrested later that night in Hobe Sound, Fla., after more drinking at a bar. He suggested to police that he knew he was drunk, but had taken the wheel to try to “drive it off.” (2) Bryan Hill, 24, was arrested in Indianapolis in March, passed out in the driver’s seat of his car at 4 a.m. wearing only a T-shirt, underwear and one sock. The officer said Hill “did have pants on, but they were on his arms. Both arms were inserted into the legs of his jeans.”

New Frontiers in Rehab (1) Japan’s largest, most influential organized-crime syndicate, the Yamaguchi-gumi, recently launched an extensive anti-drug, humanitarian campaign with a website and folk-song-like ballad extolling the group’s civic-mindedness backing up photographs of earnest, joyful men at work in their communities. (2) Italy’s former premier, Silvio Berlusconi, booted out by voters last year after he finally embarrassed them (and who is awaiting sentencing for tax evasion and trial for bribery), began a comeback in March -- by becoming the face of a dog-and-cat rescue program.

“Dogs and cats,” he assured supporters, “will help (the Forza Italia party) win the European elections.”

Redneck Chronicles In April, Louisiana state senators rejected Sen. Elbert Guillory’s over-the-top campaigning to make “chicken boxing” legitimate, dismissing his proposed bill and leaving the “sport” banned along with cockfighting. The proposed law would still have permitted sharp spurs on fighting roosters’ legs, but required promoters to cover them with rubber gloves. Guillory had pleaded with colleagues, “(There would be no) blood ... no knives ... no cruelty ... no abuse,” as he futilely held up pairs of the tiny “chicken boxing” gloves.. ,

weird news

| THE READER |

MAY 1 - 7, 2014

23

cuttingroom

DECODING THE MEANING OF UNDER THE SKIN

D

irector Jonathan Glazer and writer Walter Campbell’s Under the Skin joins the smallest movie subgenre: brilliant but batshit insane. Inarguably gorgeous and insatiably intriguing, if I were forced at gunpoint to explain the “point” of this one, I’d end up with a new orifice.

Guesses as to the major thesis: Sex is bad? Women are the gatekeepers of sex and lure men into destruction with their alluring “honey traps?” Men are nothing but vile, destructive perv-balls hellbent on perpetuating rape culture? Motorcycles are cool?

Unless someone told you going in, you wouldn’t have any idea for most of the film that Scarlett Johannson plays a nameless alien. The abstract but arresting opening sequence could be demonstrating almost anything but appears, in hindsight, to be the birth of a space baby. What is certain is that this alien’s job on earth has to do with making deadly sexytime. Specifically, she cruises around Scotland in a big van, picking up isolated dudes more than

Film Streams at the Ruth Sokolof Theater 14th & Mike Fahey Street (formerly Webster Street) More info & showtimes 402.933.0259 · filmstreams.org Facebook | Twitter | Instagram: @filmstreams

24

MAY 1 - 7, 2014

happy to be picked up by Scarlett Johannson. Then she kills them. Kind of…

Basically, in a completely black, endless room, she walks backwards in various states of undress while naked fellas with “downstairs parts” at “full attention” walk towards her before they disappear into a pool of black goo. This repeats until Lady McMurder-Alien meets a disfigured man who shows her true affection. This stirs something in her, leading her into the arms of a kind, slightly older lover who she does not black-goo murder. Unfortunately, she’s then sexually assaulted by a man in a forest who is dressed like a firefighter. Fin. Here’s the thing: Under the Skin is good, maybe even great. I know it is. I just don’t know why. Certainly, it has something to do with the visual opulence and relentless tension, the latter aided in no small part by Mica Levi’s jarring score. In a sci-fi film with few sci-fi moments, it is Levi’s music that most strongly creates alien atmosphere. Johannson does

most of her work with physicality, not just “come hither” looks and alluring jiggles but with smirks and burdened glances. The final shots are downright unforgettable, all but demanding the audience keep working through what they just saw.

And I am. I’m working quite hard, actually. At times it feels like the film can be seen as a commentary on the base nature of human desire, the depravity of lust. But that doesn’t quite feel right. Something about turning the alien from a conniving serial sex killer to a broken target of male domination to be pitied suggests…something else. Unlike recent abstract pieces like Upstream Color, Holy Motors, Beyond the Black Rainbow or Enter the Void, there’s no singular feeling to hold on to, no lasting identifiable aura. But it’s good; I know it is!

If a Supreme Court Justice can declare porn to be without definition but knowable on sight, so too can art fall into the same metric. I don’t know why Under the Skin is exceptional art. I just know it is.

First-Run Films Under the Skin First-Run (R)

Dir. Jonathan Glazer.

Through Thursday, May 8 An alien who looks an awful lot like Scarlett Johansson trolls Glasgow for male victims.

Jodorowsky’s Dune First-Run (PG-13)

Dir. Frank Pavich.

Starts Friday, May 2 A documentary about the most famous movie never made — gonzo director Alejandro Jodorowsky’s legendary take on Frank Herbert’s “Dune.”

| THE READER |

film

B Y R YA N S Y R E K

GRADE = A-

n I have always felt a special kinship with Jon Favreau as the pinnacle of my wildly nonexistent acting career was starring in the Vince Vaughn role from Swingers in a student production. So, allow me to champion Chef, written by, directed by and starring Jonny Favs (nobody calls him that).

The film will screen Tuesday, May 6, at 7 pm as part of the New York Film Critics Series at Film Streams (filmstreams. org). That series is pretty cool because it brings one-time preview screenings of smaller films to non-giganto cities like ours. What makes the series extra cool is there will also be a streaming interview following the film. What makes this screening extra-extra cool is food! Kitchen Table will be there with yummy delectables from the first farmer’s market of 2014! To recap: This series is awesome, food is good and I once said “Baby, you’re so money and you don’t even know it” non-ironically! n Film Streams isn’t done making May marvelous! On Wednesday, May 21, at 7 p.m., the theater will partner with Inclusive Communities to present a special screening of The Rape of Europa. The film is a documentary about the Allied forces seeking the art the Nazis stole in World War II. It’s basically The Monuments Men without the box office and critical disappointment. The screening is in conjunction with Inclusive Communities’ Humanitarian Dinner Thursday, May 22, where Robert Edsel (a producer of The Rape of Europa) will speak. Oh, and this is also in conjunction with Omaha Gives!, a 24-hour charitable giving challenge from the Omaha Community Foundation. I feel like this is a lot to keep straight, so let’s recap this one too: See an awesome documentary, give to good charities and Nazis are still the worst. n Bruce Crawford is at it again! No, you’re thinking of Bruce Campbell. Bruce Crawford doesn’t fight the forces of the undead via the necronomicon; he holds fancy screenings of classic films where movie stars attend. For his 34th event, the film historian is screening The Miracle Worker, with Patty Duke in attendance! Tickets are $22 and go on sale April 30 at all Omaha Hy-Vees. The event will take place Friday, May 23, at 7 p.m. at the Joslyn Art Museum. Considering that all proceeds from the event go to the Omaha Parks Foundation, this celebration of a film about the life of Helen Keller is a must see. You know what I mean…

—Ryan Syrek Cutting Room provides breaking local and national movie news … complete with added sarcasm. Send any relevant information to film@thereader.com. Check out Ryan on Movieha!, a weekly half-hour movie podcast (movieha.libsyn.com/rss), catch him on the radio on CD 105.9 (cd1059.com) on Fridays at around 7:30 a.m. and on KVNO 90.7 (KVNO.org) at 8:30 a.m. on Fridays and follow him on Twitter (twitter.com/thereaderfilm).

Special Screening NY Film Critics Series: Chef Dir. Jon Favreau.

Tuesday, May 6, 7 pm Followed by streaming interview with Jon Favreau.

With food by Kitchen Table at 6:15!

Coming Soon Hank and Asha Le Week-End (R) Only Lovers Left Alive (R) Belle (PG) Ida (PG-13)

Jodorowsky, Too El Topo 1970

Dir. Alejandro Jodorowsky.

Friday, May 2 - Thursday, May 9 In honor of the insane film Jodorowsky didn’t get to make, we’re showing one he did get to make! On 35mm!

Forever Young Supported by Lincoln Financial Foundation.

Chaplin Shorts!: Program One May 3, 4 & 8 Celebrating 100 years of Charlie Chaplin on screen!

Tickets just $2.50 for kids 12 & under!

www.germanamericansociety.org

Bruce Crawford presents a tribute to

Special Guest, Oscar winning actress and TV legend

PATTY DUKE

Friday, May 23rd, 7:00 p.m., Joslyn Art Museum

Celebrate with us as we dedicate our new Maibaum (May Pole) GREAT FOOD ~ GREAT BEER ~ BOLZEN BEER BAND MARK VYHLIDAL BAND ~ GERMAN FOLK DANCERS AND SINGERS Food selections of Schnitzel, Wurst, Saurkraut, Pommes Frites and more.

Witherspoon Hall - on the stage-wide screen!

2200 Dodge St., Omaha, NE 68102 Tickets $22.00 on sale NOW at Omaha Hy-Vee grocery stores Doors Open at 6 p.m Limited tickets also available at the door A Benefit for the Omaha Parks Foundation. For more information call 402-926-8299.

We are inviting all with an early or late model German car to show their vehicle.

$5 entry for any classic Porsche, VW, Mercedes, Audi or BMW Car show check-in: 9am to 10am Awards 3pm. For show info contact: maifestcarshow@germanamericansociety.org

G E R M A N

CLASSIC CAR SHOW

GERMAN-AMERICAN SOCIETY 3717 S. 120TH ST. 402-333-6615 | THE READER |

MAY 1 - 7, 2014

25

omahabillboard

THE MICHAELS APTS. 3307 Howard Street. 1 bedroom $475 gas. heat paid. Locked entry, laundry & off street parking. $200 off 1st months rent. Call Amy 402669-0102.

STUDIO 96 APTS. 5632 South 96th Street. Studio Apts. $475-$495. Locked entry laundry. $200 off 1st months rent.

Call Penny 402-753-7002.

J&K APTS. 817 N. 47th Street. 1 bedroom $475 gas heat paid. Locked entry, laundry, & off street parking. $200 off 1st months rent. Call Amy 402669-0102.

HOME FOR RENT AKSARBEN AREA Lower Level. One bedroom, full bath and kitchen, Partially furnished, Off street parking, Private entrance $750 per month, All utilities paid (402)553-5825.

TRAILER SALE! 2014 Aluma 6x12 cargo Sport Package $5,430.00; Aluma 7x12 cargo Sport Package $6,999.00; Aluma 7x16x78 cargo Sport Package $8,799.00; Aluma 6812H utility $2,169.00; Aluma 8112 ATV $2,026.00; 6x12 Cargo $2,249.00.

515-972-4554 www.FortDodgeTrailerWorld.com (MCN) RETIRE TO PERFECT WEATHER. Must Sell! 2br/2ba, 55+ Lake Shore Home. Central Florida, near Disney. Great fishing, amenities and neighbors. Call Chuck!

863-307-5652; Email: chuckcelight1@aol.com. Hurry! (MCN) HORSE SALE: Belle Plaine Western Exchange, Belle Plaine, IA. Next Scheduled Sale: Saturday, May 10, 2014.

Tack 10:00 a.m., Horses immediately following. Sale 2nd Saturday of every month. Upcoming Sale: June 14, 2014. Check out our website for details and sale results: www.westernexchange. com; Info/To Consign: 319-4442320; email: bpwe@netins.net (MCN) MINNESOTA’S BEST FISHING located on LakeOsakis. Choose from 8 Family Friendly Resorts.

Over 6,200 acres of water enjoyment. Check out www.PlayAtOsakisMN.com, 1-800-422-0785, “Explore Minnesota” (IOWA ONLY) (MCN)

TOP DOLLAR PAID for Wrecked, Damaged, Junk, Running and Non-Running Cars, Trucks, Vans & SUV’s. Call Now! 855-970-2990 Fast Pickup! (MCN)

CASH FOR CARS: Any Make, Model or Year. We Pay MORE! Running or Not. Sell your Car or Truck TODAY Free Towing!

Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3805 (MCN) CASH FOR CARS: All Cars/Trucks Wanted. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Any Make/Model. Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-417-1382 (MCN)

SAFE STEP WALK-IN TUB: Alert for Seniors: Bathroom falls can be fatal. Approved by Arthritis Foundation. Therapeutic Jets.

Less than 4” Step-In. Wide Door.

Anti-Slip Floors. American Made.

Installation Included. Call 888744-2329 for $750 Off (MCN)

INJURED? IN A LAWSUIT? Need Cash Now? We Can Help!

No Monthly Payments to Make.

No Credit Check. Fast Service and Low Rates. Call Now 888-2710463 www.lawcapital.com (Not available in NC, CO & MD) (MCN)

CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www.cash4car.com (AAN CAN)

GET CASH NOW for your Annuity or Structured Settlement. Top Dollars Paid.

Fast, No Hassle Service! Call: 1-866-951-9586 (Mon-Fri - 9am6pm CT) (MCN)

DONATE YOUR CAR, truck or boat to Heritage for the Blind. Free 3 Day Vacation, Tax Deductible, Free Towing, All Paperwork Taken Care Of. 1-800283-0205 (MCN)

ARE YOU IN BIG TROUBLE WITH THE IRS? Stop wage & bank levies, liens & audits, unfiled tax returns, payroll issues, & resolve tax debt FAST. Call 1-855-820-6752 (MCN)

ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http://www.Roommates.com. (AAN CAN)

REDUCE YOUR PAST TAX BILL by as much as 75 Percent. Stop Levies, Liens and Wage Garnishments. Call the Tax DR Now to see if you Qualify – 1-800-7212793 (MCN)

HOT OMAHA LOCALS Browse & Reply to Ads FREE! Straight 402-341-8000, Gay/ Bi 402-341-4000, Use Free Code 3181, 18+

EEOICPA CLAIM DENIED? Diagnosed with cancer or another illness working for DOE in U.S. Nuclear Weapons Program? You may be entitled to $150,000 – $400,000. Call Attorney Hugh Stephens 866-643-1894. 2495 Main S., Suite 442, Buffalo, NY (MCN)

MEET SEXY SINGLES Listen to Public Ads FREE!! 402341-8000, Use Free Code 3182, 18+ WHERE GAY LOCALS MEET Listen to Ads & Reply FREE! 402-341-4000, Use Free Code 2612, 18+ MEET SINGLES RIGHT NOW! No paid operators, just real people like you. Browse greetings, exchange messages and connect live. Try it free. Call now: 800-3574970 (MCN) CANADA DRUG CENTER is your choice for safe and affordable medications. Our licensed Canadian mail order pharmacy will provide you with savings of up to 75 percent on all your medication needs. Call today 1-800-2634059 for $10.00 off your first prescription and free shipping. (MCN)

DISH NETWORK $19 Special, includes FREE Premium Movie Channels (HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, and Starz) and Blockbuster at home for 3 months. Free installation and equipment. Call NOW! 1-866-8204030 (MCN) DISH TV RESELLER SAVE! Starting $19.99/month (for 12 months). FREE Premium Movie Channels. FREE Equipment, Installation & Activation. CALL, COMPARE LOCAL DEALS! 1-800-390-3140 (MCN) DIRECTTV 2 Year Savings Event! Over 140 channels only $29.99 a month.

Only DirecTV gives you 2 YEARS of savings and a FREE Genie upgrade! Call 1-800-991-2418 (MCN)

REDUCE YOUR CABLE BILL! Get a whole-home Satellite system installed at NO COST and programming starting at $19.99/ mo. FREE HD/DVR Upgrade to new callers, SO CALL NOW 1-855-237-7524 (MCN) KILL BED BUGS! Buy Harris Bed Bug Killer Complete Treatment Program/ Kit. Effective results begin after spray dries. Available: Hardware Stores, Buy Online: homedepot.com (AAN CAN) PROTECT YOUR HOME ADT Authorized Dealer: Burglary, Fire, and Emergency Alerts 24 hours a day, 7 days a week! CALL TODAY, INSTALLED TOMORROW! 888-641-3452 (AAN CAN) PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Call Us First! Living expenses, Housing, Medical and continued support afterwards.

Choose Adoptive Family of Your Choice.

Call 24/7. ADOPT CONNECT 1-866-743-9212 (VOID IN IL, IN) (MCN) PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Call Us First! Living expenses, Housing, Medical and continued support afterwards. Choose Adoptive Family of Your Choice.

Call 24/7. ADOPT CONNECT 1-866-951-1860 (Void in IL & IN) (MCN A UNIQUE ADOPTIONS, LET US HELP! Personalized Adoption Plans.

Financial Assistance, Housing, Relocation and More. Giving the Gift of Life? You Deserve the Best.

Call Us First! 1-888-637-8200.

24HR Hotline. (VOID IN IL) (MCN)

WARNING HOT GUYS!

ADOPTION A childless happily married couple seeks to adopt. Will be handson parents. Financial Security.

Expenses PAID. Let’s help each other. Call/Text. Adam & Andres.

1-800-790-5260 (MCN) ADOPTION: Actress, Former, yearns to be Future At-Home-Mom. Financially Secure & Very Loving. Expenses paid Trish 1-800-563-7964 (MCN) VIAGRA Pfizer brand! – Lowest Price from USA Pharmacies. No doctor visit needed! Discreet Home Delivery.

Call 1-877-916-0542 (MCN)

FREE TO LISTEN & REPLY TO ADS!

Omaha

402.341.4000 FREE CODE: Omaha Reader For other local numbers call:

1-888-MegaMates

MAY 1 - 7, 2014

| THE READER |

billboard

made

Omaha

402.341.8000 FREE to listen & reply to ads!

FREE CODE: Omaha Reader For other local numbers call:

TM

24/7 Customer Care 1(888) 634.2628 18+ ©2013 PC LLC 2562

26

Dating Easy

1-888-MegaMates

TM

24/7 Customer Care 1(888) 634.2628 18+ ©2014 PC LLC 3288

5227 NW Radial • $525 1 bed, 1 bath, 600 sq. ft.

2102 S. 45 St • $750 2 bed, 1 bath, 800 sq. ft.

406 N. 49 St • $750 2 bed, 2 bath, 1000 sq. ft.

1015 S. 38 Ave • $795 2 bed, 1 bath, 925 sq.ft.

4 Plex -Located just off 42nd and Center street. Updated kitchen, bath & windows, & included washer/dryer

Beautiful tudor style property with disticntive flair! Spacious 2 bed/2 bath apartment with beautiful wood floors.

Small Brick Apartment that has been recently renovated with newer kitchen and baths.

1015 S. 38 Ave • $850 2 bed, 1 bath, 925 sq.ft.

4327 N. 55 Ave • $895 4 bed, 1 bath, 1300 sq. ft.

4602 S. 61 Ave • $895 3 bed, 1 bath, 840 sq. ft.

1102 Park Ave • $895 2 bed, 1 bath, 1600 sq. ft.

Small Brick Apartment that has been recently renovated with newer kitchen and baths.

Features an updated kitchen and bathroom, partially finished basement with walkout & attached garage.

Awesome 1 bedroom apartment in Benson area. Refinished hardwood floors, large living room and kitchen.

2955 Pacific St • $895 2 bed, 1 bath, 1600 sq. ft.

Historic building, beautiful woodwork, crown molding & wood floors. Bedrooms are larger than average.

4624 N. 52 St • $1095 5 bed, 2 bath, 2000 sq. ft.

5 Bedroom plus an office & walk-out basement. New kitchen with granite countertops & stainless appliances.

4186 Cass St • $1250 3 bed, 2 bath, 1600 sq. ft.

2 Story home nestled between Midtown & Dundee. Refinished hardwood floors.

Original woodwoork. 3 car garage.

3139 N. 55 St • $950 3 bed, 1 bath, 1000 sq.ft.

Fully updated home with newer kitchen & bath, fresh paint. Walking distince to downtown Benson.

3306 Poppleton Ave • $1099 3 bed, 1 bath, 1600 sq. ft.

Beautiful townhome in the historic Field Club area. Original hardwood floors, lots of natural sunlight, high ceilings.

4601 Cass St • $1395 4 bed, 2 bath, 1800 sq. ft.

2 Year lease required, Walkable to Downtown Dundee. New windows, new siding, refinished hardwood floors.

Updated 3 Bedroom in South Omaha.

Hardwood floors and ceramic tile, washer & dryer Included. Pets are OK!!

4209 S. 61 St • $975 3 bed, 1 bath, 1160 sq. ft.

3 bedroom ranch, large eat-in kitchen, attached 1-car garage, patio slider from kitchen opens to rear patio.

3204 Marcy St • $1195 4 bed, 2 bath, 1340 sq. ft.

Historic building, beautiful woodwork, crown molding & wood floors. Bedrooms are larger than average.

1856 N. 84 St • $1095 3 bed, 2 bath, 930 sq. ft.

Ranch style home in District 66, partially finished basement with family room, hardwood floors.

4921 William St • $1199 3 bed, 1 bath, 810 sq.ft.

BEAUTIFULLY renovated home in popular Midtown!! Enclosed front porch, refinished hardwoods

2 Year Lease required. Many updates including new kitchen with stainless appliances, Jack & Jill Bath.

3303 Poppleton Ave•$1400

3305 Poppleton Ave•$1500

Beautiful townhome in historic Field Club area. Hardwood floors, natural sunlight & high ceilings.

Beautiful townhome in historic Field Club area. Hardwood floors, natural sunlight & high ceilings.

4 bed, 1 bath, 2000 sq. ft.

4 bed, 1 bath, 2200 sq. ft.

CALL OR CHECK OUR WEBSITE FOR MOVIE TIMES AND PRICES

| THE READER |

MAY 1 - 7, 2014

27