In Our Words

VOL 3.5

the

incognito

press

TABLE OF CONTENTS: TERI ANDERSON

"Breakthrough"

IRINA NOVIKOVA

"An Octet Anthology"

G . R . TOMAINI

"Four Poems"

DOMINIQUE SERRAT

"Gender Violence"

NOTE FROM THE EDITOR IN CHIEF: dear readers, It is with great pleasure that the Incognito Press brings you: "In Our Words".

This mini-zine was a product of our observance of the United States' Women's History Month (WHM). We wanted to create a permanent reminder of importance of WHM-the voices of women and what those voices have achieved in history.

Yet the reason for the existence of WHM was to represent and honor the work of a marginalized group. It's the same with other holidays and observances such as Black History Month in February or Pride Month. That's why we wanted all of your stories in this volume. This mini-zine was always meant to be a celebration, and we wanted to extend this to everyone.

enjoy!

STEPHANIE O.

art | illustration

"Breakthrough"

by Teri Anderson

regular zine feature

about the artist: Teri Anderson creates work that looks into the idea of craft in art, textiles, installation and sculpture to create a linear or surreal environment which the audience have to inhabit. The work links to her heritage and how textiles were key in their family history including sample machinists and pattern cutters. Building on this Teri proposes an art practise which incorporates a craft based techniques into the art based discipline of installation.

Instagram: @tinyteri13 Facebook: @teriandersonartist

art | illustration

AN OCTET ANTHOLOGY

BY IRINA NOVIKOVA @irinanov4155

AUTOBIOGRAPHY: "Drawing began to interest me from an early age, the first subjects for me were Fantastic birds and animals.

By my first education I am an art critic (State Academy of Slavic Cultures), by my second I am a graphic designer (MGTA).

The main techniques that I use are watercolor, ink, gouache, acrylic. I love experimenting and mixing different materials. I draw a lot on environmental topics.

The first big series that I drew is the "Red Book" dedicated to rare and endangered species of animals and birds. "

LITERATUE ABOUT THE WORK: Sun, you are a fireball! You are something that cannot be watched and it is impossible to forget about you ...

When I flew over the fields, I thought about you, I thought about that immense beauty that is around and that no one can describe in words.

A dove that flew dropped a golden branch, and it sprouted with a large tree and ripe apples, birds flew in, ate apples, raised chicks, and their flock became large and strong.

Dialogue: -I'm coming for you! I'm coming! Look at my eyes, they are full of dust!

Look at my hands, they are weathered under the gusts of wind and rain!

He lowered his gray head and was silent, he was silent for a long time, and then darkness enveloped him, like all of us.

The bird screamed in the distance, it long and piercingly waited for something, and then disappeared into the darkness, like all of us.

The one who is alive for himself, he does not die, he lives.

INFORMATION ABOUT THE WORK: Materials: ink, liner, cardboard (monotype and drawing) Size: 15x10 cm Goal: 2022

@curiousgreg918

poetry | writing

four poems

by G . R . Tomaini he/him/his Rutgers Philosophy BA '18 M.Div. Candidate '23 Union Theological Seminary

He Is Don Mosquito

2

He flew into the room , circling you -his prey -- just one kiss , and you will wait for him to do it again -- to fly around your body , taking in your scent -serenading you -how he is insatiable !

He's Don Mosquito : he drinks your blood .

2 Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote; Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Don Giovanni; Lord Byron, Don Juan;

Moliere, Don Juan; Charles Baudelaire, Don Juan In Hell 3

Giotto di Bondone, The Kiss of Judas

Buy Me A Rolex Submariner Dear Reader : Attention !

This is not a drill -contact the editor of this poetry mag for my information & then you can buy me a two - toned Rolex Submariner with a blue face , please -- any other color will not do -you can probably afford it & I need one presto pronto -mail the watch to my address , & if I have the time -I will express my heartfelt thanks , by writing a brief poem : just for you !

Best , G. R . Tomaini

Most Treasured Love !

Who comes this way ? Ah ! It is you -most treasured love of mine ! A gift !

How you are a splendid gift in my life !

My Earth revolves around your Sun !

Nobody understands me but you . . .

You will sit and have tea with me ?

My beloved confidante ! A blessing !

How you are a blessing unto me !

Few people compare to your depth . . . only you are worthy of these praises !

It is time for you to go ? Oh no ! No !

Close love -- how I am heartbroken !

Until next we meet , my fantastic love !

Oh good -- is that motherfucker gone ?

I hate that scumbag motherfucker !

I spit on their grave ! Curse them !

May they die young and penniless -I said I loathe that dumb motherfucker !

Prometheus Rechained How I am but a beetle on a blade of grass , sipping dew ; 4 and you : an Athena in the clouds , atop some heighted aerie !

Down from heaven , you swoop to my level : but for what purpose ?

You have come to rip up from out of me my liver ? You must be . . . just the bird of prey that I have sought throughout my life !

What do you wait for ? Expose your talons ! Dig them deep into me !

Can you not see I am in bliss ? Oh ! have I emasculated you ?

I am Prometheus rechained : only , this time Zeus did not punish me : rather , I found my life had become dull , monotonous , and regular -without the presence of an eagle - like you , a nemesis indeed !

4

Gustav Klimt, Pallas Athena

about the poet: G . R . Tomaini is an LGBTQ Federal McNair Scholar. His academic monograph on Philosophy is being prefaced by the internationally renowned Philosopher and Public Intellectual Dr. Cornel West and is 4 forthcoming from the official press of the European Graduate School -Atropos Press; one of his four full-length poetry manuscripts was recently accepted for publication by A Thin Slice of Anxiety Press -Ballad of An American Ganymede; the work consists of 57 poems in the manner of Queer Existentialist Poetry inspired by Heidegger and Sartre.

Two of his other books of poetry recently have been accepted for publication by Pumpernickel Press, to be published jointly under the title: The Rainbow Cantos: Two Attempts At Queering The Canon; the two books of poetry that have been accepted at Kiss Me, Ahab! and Gayowulf. Tomaini’s poems are being featured in Outcast Press's magazine, Selcouth Station Press's journal, and in a mini-volume by The Incognito Press.

writing | opinion piece

Gender Violence: an evil that is everywhere, and manifests itself in many forms.

Written by: Dominique Serrat

@angelyis

Two years have passed since the beginning of the pandemic, and the indefinite “pause" resulted in plenty of time for self-reflection. This is something I've practiced from a very early age because I tell myself, how is it possible to live in harmony with others if you don't even know yourself? if you can't be at peace with yourself nor love yourself first. All this is an everyday work, introspection is a quality... or more of an ability, I don't really know how to define it, but it is something that can be practiced and/or acquired, that helps to get more clarity about the direction we want to take in life and as with the others, one has to work on the relationship with oneself and get to know oneself daily, self-question, forgive and selfreinvent, but it is one of those things that are easy and comforting to say but when doing them, they’re much harder than pleasurable.

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I don't think we should romanticize any of this self-realizations, but approach them from a realistic perspective, about what social pressure and the havoc that having a different background from others can also bring when being part of a society like this and how stigmatized is still today—as exaggerated as it may sound—, everything related to the behaviors of the female gender.

Having even more time to have those mental conversations with myself— not surprisingly— took a very twisted turn. I found myself thinking: three years ago (2018 to be specific), were you really healing, or were you rather repressing that which people resented about you just because you were… you?!. Just because many did not agree with your life choices, with you expressing your thoughts, needs, and opinions freely?. With this question began a search in my memory, in which after recapitulating several events of my life —mainly my adolescence— I realized that indeed, I was not healing, somehow I was annihilating myself. I ended up with my spirit, with my will and with the motivation that, although it may not seem so, for years I have struggled to maintain to cope with life.

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Personally, I think I have been very fortunate to have been raised in a family —referring to mom and dad— where freedom of expression is the foundation of our core. Since I was a child I was always allowed to choose how I wanted to present myself to the world, to choose the clothes I felt comfortable in, to decide whether I wanted to eat something or not, to choose my friends, my hobbies, and so on. All this may seem trivial on the surface, but the education one acquires as a child greatly influences the behaviors we have as we grow up and although there comes a point when we develop an individual perspective on the world, much of what we are as adults is a product of the pre-established beliefs we learn as children.

The most important thing that was always instilled in me was to never keep silent, to use my voice to defend myself against anyone who wanted to affect my integrity in any way. I realized the importance of this after being a victim of very severe bullying in a short period of time while I was in elementary school and other difficult childhood experiences. Even later I began to think about why not using my voice to help others who for whatever reason, suffer in silence and unfortunately cannot recognize their own value because no one ever made them see that they had it, or in other cases, the damage is so bad that they forget that what they have to say even counts.

3

Mine hasn’t been an unconscious freedom, but a freedom supported by the fact that every decision and action brings a consequence and regardless of whether it is good or bad, one must always be responsible for it; besides, it’s important to know the limits between expressing ourselves freely and affecting others in a negative way with our comments. I've met many people who are denied the opportunity to choose and don't have the support of their parents or their close circle to follow their path in life, or to express without fear any concern or desire they have. That in the long run hurts people and brings consequences in their relationship with other people and the perception they have of themselves.

The heavy weight of words.

4

In my adolescence, I became more aware of all the violence in the world, but mainly the violence that women are victims of every day. Daily news of femicides and stories of harassment here and there. Witnessing how many men express themselves about some girls, how sometimes your (male) friends "forget" that you are there and that before being their friend, you are a woman and dare to denigrate other girls in front of you while make fun of some others, so that when you point out that this is wrong, so that when you ask them if they also express themselves that way about you, they say "No, we do not say those things about you because you are different, we respect you”. What truly great difference can there be between me and them?, in the end, no matter how we look and no matter how we behave, we're all women and before that, we are human beings, just like them. I could make a huge list of everything that shouldn't, but nevertheless is still being done.

At fifteen, several people -mostly men but also women- started calling me difficult, confrontational, rude, aggressive, demanding, exaggerated, and an endless list of things that are not exactly flattering, just for the fact of not remaining silent in the face of injustice, for caring about issues that affect society and the world, for choosing to live a much healthier life, for being independent, for demanding the respect I deserve as an individual, for saying no to what I don't want or what does not interest me and for having objectives and goals. Just for knowing what I want and what I don't want for my life. Just for the fact of being me, or even worse, just for being a woman.

Then, one day someone you care about and who claims to love you comes along and says "You have a shitty temper, and if you don't start correcting it, no one will ever, ever love you". Another day someone less important tells you "You are very pretty BUT...",

5

"But you'd be prettier if you had long hair", "But you could pass for one of those guys you hang out with", "But you'd be prettier if you were thinner”, an the list could continue and maybe it would’t fit this pages. The worst thing is that even though it slips your mind, after hearing it so much, one day you start thinking that maybe it is true, maybe there's something wrong with you. Just when you think it can't get any worse, it does, at some point an idiot starts to question if the reason you don't have a boyfriend is because you are a lesbian, and they say it as if being a lesbian is an insult.

I don't understand this eagerness of some people to justify rejection with homosexuality. Yes, many times the ego or feelings are fractured by rejection in romantic terms but one has to respect that decision and turn the page with dignity. If a person does not want to get involved with someone, it is because there must be enough reasons for not wanting to do so, sexuality is independent of that, besides, using words like gay or lesbian as an insult is something ridiculous and extremely unpleasant. People have the right to love whoever they want and should not be singled out for it.

The power of words is often belittled, violence is exercised by word as well.

Comments such as "You are angry with life, with the world, you need a boyfriend to be happy" or "What do you do to men?, you push them away because you are too intimidating” for example, can distort one-selves perception on a huge way and can cause tremendous insecurities. Just as they exist in the physical aspects, they also do on an internal level and are equally or even more dangerous, because they generate a fear. Create the thought of no matter how I look, how I think, what I say or do, maybe no one will ever want me for who I am.

No one will ever love me truthfully.

6

The idea that people need a partner to be valid as individuals and to be happy must be eliminated. People should be with other people because we want to share with someone else who we are, because that person matters so much to us that we want them to be part of our universe, because there’s the wish to grow together, not because of that lie. We also must eradicate the mockery that exists around anything related to femininity, on the way each girl defines it in her person and how they choose to express it.

One time my sister came home from school and told me that one of her friends —who was being bullied for identifying as transgender— said to her: “ Boys always make fun of anything a girl does or says just for being a woman. if you are super girly they call you silly, if you like alternative or retro stuff, they say you are pretentious. If you want to be an engineer or a businesswoman they say you want to be one of them, if you wear makeup they say you do it for attention. If you have good grades you are a show-off even if you don't tell anyone and if you have bad grades you are good for nothing, no matter what a girl is like, they are always going to make fun of any of your dreams".

Hearing that made me think that even though there is more information, more exposure to women's struggles around the world, as progressive as many claim to be, it sometimes seems that nothing has changed. The thought that perhaps nothing will ever get better because maybe —although many don't see it that way— human nature is destructive, and that generations of children are coming, who will have to continue to deal with the problems of a fractured society broke my heart.

7

Just as there are parents who still raise their children with prejudices regarding issues of a diverse nature, I have also witnessed how hardworking, strong and independent mothers, —singles or with a partner— make an enormous effort to instill respect for women constantly in their sons. Even giving them as an example their life stories to exemplify the difficulties that we women live day after day so that they acquire greater understanding of why they shouldn't say or do certain things, of how they can do a lot and also contribute to the fight for rights from their position because this involves all of us.

Seeing how they nod and then when they are not present, have toxic behaviors towards the girls, show little chivalry, insult them, objectify them, seeing how the boys take everything they are told and discard it right away, even though they have lived moments of adversity with their mothers and/or sisters, leads me to think that this is much more serious than it seems. That the root of the problem is not only the family nucleus, but also the exchange we have as individuals and the contents we consume have even more weight in this. That macho culture is one of those things that while it's being eradicated, continues to spread among the youngest and it is quite worrying.

The narratives of the media.

8

I am Mexican, I have lived in Mexico my whole life, it's inspiring to see how more and more people are coming together to demand changes in the justice system and to recognize and respect women in the workplace and in schools, but at the same time we cannot ignore the fact that even among women there isn’t always genuine sonority, that even within the feminist movement there are ideological barriers and that not wanting to recognize that it is necessary to involve the male gender in this conversation continues to maintain the gap that exists. We are all part of society, therefore these are issues that involve us all even if you choose not to talk about it, even if you think that by not speaking out you are getting out of the issue, it is not so, we are all part of a bigger problem and perhaps it's time to reflect on the impact that choosing to ignore issues of public domain or even the smallest actions, have out there.

It is also disheartening to see that our current government in conjunction with the mainstream media, continue to feed the masses this narrative that screams “Women are out of control, women are vandals, they are dangerous so they need to be reminded of what their place is”, instead of giving priority to the cases of disappearances, murders and all the motives behind the movement.

In recent years they've even tried to sell us this story where feminists confront police officers, as if it was a civil war, with this attempt to counterpoint them, when it's a reality that some of them also have an internal conflict. That of I am a police officer, it is my duty to protect public spaces, but I am also a woman and I can understand the pain, I can understand how difficult it is to be recognized, valued and respected because in an area dominated by men it’s difficult to be taken seriously even when it should’t be so. Because there’s the impotence of seeing how despite being part of the justice department, that means nothing because the police do not meet the citizens, to such a degree that it’s embarrassing.

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Final thoughts.

There is a huge difference between healing and modifying aspects of the self from love and awareness, to wanting to erase all of who you are because others say you are a bad person just because you don't do/say what they want or because they don't get what they expect from you. It hurts to realize that there are always going to be people who will prefer that you keep quiet, that there will always be those who won't be happy that you stand up for yourself, that you are autonomous and independent. It’s alarming to see that no matter how hard mothers try to educate their children, it seems it’s not enough, because toxic masculinity isn't necessarily learned at home, it spreads through coexistence and many fall into it because they want to belong, because of the pressure that boys themselves exert on those who haven't been educated in that way.

As a woman I think it is important to talk about the damage that prejudices about what a woman should do and how she should behave in society can cause in someone. Everyone's story is different but I think most of us can identify with the fact that there is a stigma around women's behavior and the role we play in society that hasn’t been eradicated. There's still a long and hard struggle ahead, but I believe now is the right time to raise our voices and cement the foundations of a society where in the future, we can recognize ourselves as individuals, regardless of gender, race, social status or any other pre-established concept that causes the gap between citizens, and be judged based on our actions, rather than on any of those things.

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To those men who educate themselves on the subject, who even share that knowledge and encourage change among their friends, colleagues and family, who demand respect and justice for women starting from the sane; If you support women in your life, your mothers, partners, sisters, daughters and friends in this struggle, know that most of us value it and appreciate the empathy, which although it doesn't come from everyone, it is demonstrated by some and that helps to generate a collective change.

If you are a girl and you are scared to say that you are a feminist because you think that maybe you will be singled out or attacked for it, I tell you it' s normal but you are stronger than that and you are fully capable of making your voice be heard. If you aren't and you are still getting into what this is all about from your culture and your personal experience, keep it up. Knowledge is necessary to be able to decide where you want to stand and how you want to express it.

Finally and more importantly, don't let anyone try to steal your freedom to express yourself or deny you the right to demand respect and justice, don't give away your silence to anyone.

about the writer: Dominique Serrat is a Mexican Communication and Digital Media student, visual artist, writer and aspiring filmmaker. Her piece "Letter to a Friend Unknown" is soon to be published on SOFT (@soft.qtrly) No. 6.

@angelyis