Ask a Law Student: Dating Tips

Dating is confusing and, in this day and age, outright criminal. People seem to be lying, cheating, and stealing around every corner. So, we decided to ask some of our favorite almost-lawyer friends to weigh in on all our dating questions. 

Let’s meet our soon-to-be lawyers:

Julia Raczek, JR: Hi all! My name is Julia and I am currently a second-year law student (2L) at Indiana University Maurer School of Law. I have dreamed of being an attorney for as long as I can remember, longggg before I ever even knew what exactly it meant to “practice law.” Turns out it’s a shit ton of reading, research, writing, and pretending to know what’s going on when you don’t. In about two years, I’ll (hopefully) be a licensed litigator in the Windy City. 

Caroline Bradley, CB: Hi! I am a second-year law student at the University of Florida Levin College of Law. I am in law school because I majored in international studies in undergrad and realized that wouldn’t get me a job (don’t worry, I  love the law now). I wrote these answers using my best, slightly educated, guess. 

Am I legally obligated to watch The Godfather on a second date?

JR: No. God help us all if the country turns to mandating a Godfather viewing on the second date. Even more horrifying if it’s movie number three. Cut ties while you still can (official legal advice). 

Can I sue in emotional damages if my date ghosts me?

CB: Of course you can, angel. This is definitely the healthiest and most rational way to handle someone ghosting you.

After consulting my sources (pg. 57 of my torts outline), I would sue your date for Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress, aka IIED. Let’s review the case. To win (aka get money), you have to prove three things: (1) the ghoster had intent, (2) the ghoster’s conduct was extreme and outrageous, and (3) you experienced severe emotional distress. 

First, intent. If we assume the guy you met on Hinge ghosted you on purpose because he wanted to hurt your feelings: easy case, intent is definitely there. But, as with all parts of dating, things are not always that simple. Instead, let’s assume the guy ghosted you on purpose, but didn’t do it to specifically to hurt your feelings (he will say that you were too good for him and he wanted to protect you.) Intent? Maybe. I would argue that the Hinge guy knew ghosting would hurt your feelings, but did it anyway. That proves intent even if the Hinge guy didn’t write a manifesto about it. 

Second, extreme and outrageous conduct. Yes. Easy case. Moving on. 

Third, severe emotional distress. This depends on you. If you are at the point of suing someone for ghosting, then I will go ahead and assume you have some evidence of emotional distress that can be used in the courtroom (journal, therapy, eye bags, etc.). I think the hard part here will be saying that the distress was the ghoster’s fault and not, like, part of your everyday demeanor. So, if you want win, go ahead and let loose and have that mental breakdown but, make sure it’s timed well with being ghosted. Maybe post on your private story that you’re having a breakdown because you were ghosted or something, idk. 

I wish you the best of luck on your case and hope you take all of your date’s money!

If I make the first move, do I have any legal protection if rejected?

JR: Hmmm. Maybe you can claim that the rejector owed you a duty of care in responding to your first move. If they responded super sassily or in such a way that caused you severe emotional distress, you could claim IIED.

However, the law is unlikely to recognize a duty of care between strangers. Instead, the law recognizes duties of care between recognized relationships like parent-child, doctor-patient, spouses, and common carrier-passenger. So, I suggest thinking twice before making a first move on some rando in the bar. Instead, if you want the law to protect your courageous flirting, try to date your doctor! 

Help! Someone stole my heart, would that be civil or criminal court?

CB: If it was a man: criminal. 

Can I sue for defamation if my ex calls me crazy?

JR: Well… there are a few technicalities that need to be addressed before it’s clear whether you’d have a tort’s case against an ex that is running their mouth:

1. An opinion is almost never considered defamatory.

2. Truth is always a defense to a defamation claim.

However, don’t give up hope just yet, because if your ex is posting online or saying to others that “you’re known to be crazy” (aka establishing a reputation of being crazy), then this could move the statement closer to being one of fact (for lawsuit purposes) in which you would need to prove that you are NOT, in fact, known as crazy. But also, who’s to say we aren’t all a littleeee crazy?

Can I get copyright on the newer, cooler person my boyfriend became after we started dating??

CB: If you can prove that he is an original work of authorship, then go off. However, this would only protect you from people trying to copy him (I’m assuming copying the boyfriend would include, like, genetic cloning.) This may cause more pressing legal and ethical issues than a simple copyright violation.

 Alternatively, you could try to patent the work you did on him as a process. This would mean you would have the ability to make money off of your craftsmanship :)

Do men deserve rights, like, constitutionally?

CB: Unfortunately, the constitution is pretty clear that men have rights :(

Is it illegal to go through my significant other’s phone?

JR: The law considers going through someone else’s phone to be an invasion of privacy…annnnnd most existing and developing laws address the ability of a spouse to sue the snooping spouse. So not looking too hot there. The suing spouse can sue the Nosey Nellie for “intercepting private information” if they read text messages, access social media accounts, and monitor search histories without consent. But wait, there’s more! In some especially juicy cases, snooping spouses have faced criminal charges for knowingly and intentionally going through their spouse’s phone. 

To be serious though, girl get out of that relationship if you feel the need to snoop. No man who hides things from you is worth risking a stint in jail! 

POST GRAD DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT LEGITIMATE LEGAL COUNSEL AND SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN AS SUCH; PGG DOES NOT CLAIM TO HAVE ANY GRASP ON THE LAW!