1-10-24

The Pitt News

T he ind epen d e n t s t u de n t ne w spap e r of t he Unive rsity of Pittsburgh | PIttnews.com | JAN 10, 2024 ­| Volume 114 | Issue 76

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January 10, 2024

Carrington Bryan | Staff Illustrator

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Halee Reiman has had a compost bin in her Narayan said other resolutions she has are apartment for some time, but she noticed that to read more during the school year and deshe did not use it as much as she originally velop a “good exercise routine.” planned. In honor of the new year, Reiman de“I just want to have a plan to give me balcided to change this habit. ance and a diversion from school on a daily “My resolution is to compost more, be- basis,” Narayan said. “That way I’m consiscause I feel like I produce a lot more waste tently doing something good for my mental than I need to,” health.”

Reiman, a junior Staying consisnon-fiction writtent in exercise is ing major, said. a common reso“This is the year lution for adults. of sustainability!”

Reba Cagabrie, a A week into junior psychology the new year and major, shares the at the beginning same 2024 goal of the spring seas Narayan and mester, students hopes to fit more are thinking about physical activity new ways to balinto her schedule. ance and improve “I need to hit their lifestyles. the gym,” CagaNew Year’s resolubrie said. “I said tions offer people I was gonna be of all backgrounds more active, so I Carrington Bryan | Staff Illustrator an opportunity to jumpstart should do more cardio.” new habits in their personal or professional Students like Varsha Sagi, a junior psychollives. ogy and neuroscience major, created resolu“It’s just nice having a fresh slate,” Mia tions that will make daily life a little more fun.

Fischetti, a senior finance and accounting ma- Sagi said she hopes to hone her cooking skills jor, said. “It’s nice, at the start of the year, to in 2024. just kind of have something to look forward to “I want to learn how to cook for fun,” Sagi for the rest of the year, something that’s track- said. “Making it my resolution gives me a reaable that you can attain.” son to do it.”

The start of a new year is often a point Since New Year’s is widely understood as a where people reflect on aspects of their daily period of self-improvement, some students like life that they’d like to adjust or goals they want Cameryn Santez, a junior psychology major, to work towards. Fischetti said her goal is to feel obligated to create a resolution. read more books.

“My New Year’s resolution is to be more “I want to replace my screen time with classy and cut down on swearing, because I rereading,” Fischetti said. “I feel like I’d rather alized I’m too vulgar,” Santez said. “I just needbe looking at a book instead of my phone.” ed a resolution, and that’s what I settled with.”

Finding time to practice healthier habits While New Year’s can give people a gentle can pose challenges for students who often push in the direction of self-betterment, for have heavy workloads. Divya Narayan, a ju- some, it’s an opportunity to develop new hobnior nursing major, plans to find an appro- bies. Julie Meaney, a junior accounting major, priate balance between her school work and hopes to use her digital camera more. social life.

“I want to take more digital photos through“In college, I feel like all I do is school,” Na- out the semester, just for fun,” Meaney said. rayan said. “I’m trying to develop more hob- “I’m getting ready for summer internships and bies and do stuff outside of just schoolwork or enjoying my second-to-last spring semester, so going out, or whatever it might be.”

I want to remember it.”

January 10, 2024

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‘I COULD UNWIND’: STUDENTS SHARE WINTER BREAK ACTIVITIES

Kelly McPoyle

Forge ahead.

Staff Writer

Winter break offers students the opportunity to spend time with family and friends after a long semester. Many students traveled home. Some worked, and some went on trips to places like New York City.

Samantha Eckenrode, a senior environmental

I could unwind. But, I’m excited to be back, too.”

For students that live far away, winter break is one of their few opportunities to see family. Tyler Atkinson, a junior economics major from the Philadelphia area, also traveled home to visit family.

“I spent a week in Vermont and a week in West

Pursue your Bachelor of Science in Nursing (BSN) degree through Pitt’s accelerated second-degree BSN program.

Ornaments at Phipps Conservatory during its Winter Flower Show and Light Garden in November 2022. Ethan Shulman | Visual Editor engineering major, spent her New Year’s Eve with hometown friends.

“I went out with some of my high school friends to our local bar, and it was crazy to be there,” Eckenrode said.

Students entered the new year with old friends and new ambitions, like Eckenrode. She is from a Pittsburgh suburb, so she and her high school friends went to Southside after leaving their hometown bar.

“I was at Mario’s when the ball dropped,” Eckenrode said. “It was awesome. When the ball dropped, there were balloons with money inside of them. I won $1.”

Like many other students, Eckenrode also worked during winter break.

“I was on co-op, so I worked for the first week of Pitt’s break, which was fun,” Eckenrode said. “It was at Civil and Environmental Engineering, and I really enjoyed it.”

Madi Stewart, a first-year psychology major, went home to Kansas over break and spent time hanging out with her friends and her dog.

“I didn’t realize how much I missed my family until I got home,” Stewart said. “I just really felt the Christmas vibes and everything. It finally felt like

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Virginia visiting family,” Atkinson said.

With the cold weather, winter break can also be a great time for winter activities. Presley Gerena, a junior political science major, went skiing over break.

“I went skiing a lot because I live in Buffalo,” Gerena said. “We had a really big snowstorm, so it was kind of perfect for skiing.”

Gerena spent his New Year’s Eve at a party his hometown friend hosts each year.

“Other than that and skiing, my break was pretty chill,” Gerena said. “I’m excited to be back and see everyone again.”

Emily Jordan, a junior political science major, described her winter break as “relaxing.”

“I visited New York and Philadelphia for a little bit of a break with my friends,” Jordan said. “For the most part I was just chilling out.”

Jordan, a Bucks County native, saw the Nutcracker and went out to dinner with her sister in Philadelphia. She made a day trip to New York with friends where they went to Bryant Park and got dinner in anticipation of a new semester.

“Although I feel nervous to start the semester, it’s mostly good since I have a routine here and it’s nice to see all of my friends.”

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PITT’S COVID-19 RESOURCES AND GUIDELINES FOR THE SPRING SEMESTER Donata Massimiani Assistant News Editor

fall. If the student has a meal plan, they can submit a form to request meals for pickup by a roommate or other designee.

The email also reminds students to inform their primary care doctor and close contacts of the positive test. When exposed to COVID-19 through a close contact, the University urges students to wear a mask in public for 10 days.

The Pitt Health Sciences Vaccination and Health Connection Hub offers the updated adult and pediatric Pfizer and Moderna COVID-19 vaccines, according to their website.

Their site also states that anyone may purchase at-home COVID-19 tests from the University Pharmacy, and that COVID-19 testing is available daily to students for free at Student Health Services.

The Pitt email also urged students to not attend class or go in public campus spaces when experiencing moderate to severe cold and flu symptoms. When experiencing mild symptoms, students are encouraged to wear a mask during class and in public.

THE

A Pitt student wears a mask to mitigate the spread of COVID-19 in 2021.

TPN File Photo

With winter virus season in full swing, it’s important for students to take part in mitigating the spread of COVID-19 and other illnesses.

Allegheny County reported 1,082 COVID-19 infections during the week of Dec. 24, and although most pandemic-era university policies are no longer in place, there are still

guidelines to follow if one is exposed to or receives a positive test for COVID-19.

“We encourage everyone to stay home when sick, mask up if exposed, and take care of themselves and our Pitt community,” a University spokesperson said.

When a student tests positive for COVID-19, they must isolate for at least five days and wear a mask in public until at least day 11, according to a university-wide email sent last

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FRICK MUSEUM’S ‘RED DRESS’ TELLS GLOBAL STORIES THROUGH EMBROIDERY Casey Carter Staff Writer

Gallery attendees gazed upon the grandeur of the Red Dress exhibition at the Frick Art Museum of Pittsburgh in Point Breeze. The dress is the product of the collaborative embroidery of hundreds of artists around the world. Sitting at the center of the room, it invited viewers to walk around it, exploring its angles and details as a whole.

Its red fabric elegantly flowed onto the pedestal, displaying the intricate works of embroidery. The dress’s measurements fit the average person by design, yet the dress felt larger than life. The creators of the Red Dress intended for its significance to surpass its physical form, conveying a larger global connection.

The Red Dress has journeyed through museums and galleries around the world since 2009, eventually arriving in the United States this year, including a stop in Pittsburgh. The exhibit at the Frick Museum will be on display until Jan. 28, and afterward will travel to the Fuller Craft Museum in Boston.

Kirstie Macleod, the visionary of the project, sketched the idea of the dress on a napkin in a London cafe. It has since transformed into a collective embroidery project by women around the world, involving 380 embroiderers from 51 countries and spanning 14 years.

Embroidering the dress offered a medium of expression for the artists to communicate their stories and iden-

tity. Many of the women who contributed to the project came from tragic backgrounds of war and poverty.

Combining the individual embroidered pieces into a quilt-like construction, the dress symbolizes strength and unity across borders.

One of the contributing embroiderers, Shirley Steenberg, represents her Indigenous heritage and Canadian identity through her stitching.

Steenberg identifies as Inuvialuk, an Indigenous group in Canada who live along the coast of the Beaufort Sea. Her embroidery design on the dress took the shape of a medicine wheel, a symbol with a longstanding history among various Native American groups.

Steenberg wrote in her feature on the Red Dress website that, “[The wheel] embodies the Four Directions (north, south, east and west), as well as Father Sky, Mother Earth, and Spirit Tree — all of which symbolize dimensions of health and the cycles of life.”

Steenberg’s design also includes Canadian maple leaves and the words “Strong and Free,” quoted from the Canadian national anthem, to represent her country.

Another contributing artist, Ruriko Wyborn, said she represented family and Japanese culture in her design.

“My grandfather had a kimono business, and so my

design tried to express the detail, colors and familiar images that are associated with kimono designs in Japan,” Wyborn said.

Several of the messages and symbols in the embroidery pieces focused on social and political advocacy.

A group of refugee women from Kosovo called Sister Stitch collaborated to create a design of birds, symbolizing migration, resilience and hope. The women of Sister Stitch fled their homes during the war in Kosovo in the late 1990s. They have since returned to Kosovo and, through Sister Stitch, earn money to help rebuild the lives they were forced to leave behind. Erina Sheholli, the Sister Stitch coordinator, wrote about the message behind their contribution to the dress, which they titled “Birds of Peace.”

“I hope that the message of those birds will spread all over the world. We deserve to live free as birds,” Sheholli wrote.

Contributing embroiderer Nathalie Frost, from Wales, explained her belief in the power of embroidery.

“Craft, especially stitching — so often associated with women — has been overlooked for so long. The Red Dress completely bypasses that notion,” Frost said.

“The experience will remain with me and hopefully send messages for future generations who are lucky

enough to see and learn about the work.”

The Red Dress exhibition has generated attention not only in the Pittsburgh region, but around the world, museum educator Susanne Wilkinson explained.

“The community has responded very very positively. People are drawn to [The Frick] to see the Red Dress,” Wilkinson said. “We actually just said goodbye to some visitors from Paris.”

Wilkinson says the piece’s overarching message of global unity holds the most significance to her.

“What I like about it is there’s so much detailing in it — and then the story it tells about how people from all these different countries were able to put their thoughts and ideas together and have this magnificent piece that represents the world — and that’s incredible,” Wilkinson said.

Wilkinson explained that even though she has seen the dress countless times, she still finds herself continuing to learn from it and engage with its content in different ways. She encourages others to slow down and pause when viewing the work, allowing time to absorb the details of each message in the embroidery.

“Each time I view the dress, I look at something else because there’s so much to see,” Wilkinson said. “Some messages are subtle and some aren’t — it’s all about looking.”

One Frick attendee, Debra Kirchhof-Glazier, said the dress was enchanting. “There’s no words to adequately describe it … even if you were to take a picture it wouldn’t do justice to it,” Kirchhof-Glazier said. “All of the intensive and emotional artisanship that went into it … I mean, it’s incredible.”

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SPORTS NEWS STUDENTS MAY HAVE MISSED OVER WINTER BREAK Brian Sherry

Sports Editor Many students may feel disconnected from Pitt athletics after coming back to campus following winter break. Between spending time with family and trying to survive nearly a month in their hometowns, many students may not have had time to cheer on the Panthers over the break.

But fear not, for The Pitt News has compiled all the biggest sports stories that happened over break to get returning students back into the loop of Pitt athletics.

Here’s how the Panthers’ three biggest winter programs — men’s and women’s basketball and wrestling — fared over the break.

Men’s Basketball Pitt men’s basketball played in five games over the winter break, going 3-2 in that stretch. The Panthers took care of business against three weaker opponents — SC State, Purdue FW and Louisville. But Pitt couldn’t quite stack up against quality ACC opponents, falling to both Syracuse and North Carolina.

The Panthers began their winter break schedule with an 86-50 route of SC State on Dec. 16. The game was never really in question, as three Panthers — redshirt senior forwards Blake Hinson and Zach Austin and first-year guard Carlton Carrington — put up double-digit performances to carry Pitt to the victory.

Pitt followed up its route of SC State with a hardfought 62-48 victory over Purdue FW. The Mastodons put up a strong defensive effort, holding the Panthers to their worst scoring performance of the season. But Pitt managed to grind out a victory behind solid performances from Austin, Carrington and sophomore forward Guillermo Diaz Graham.

The Panthers' four-game win streak finally came to an end in their next matchup, as they fell 81-73 to Syracuse on the road. Following a strong start, Pitt held a 38-30 lead going into halftime. But the Orange quickly rebounded in the second half, outsourcing the Panthers 51-35 in the period to take the win.

And the Panthers’ troubles continue in their next game against North Carolina, falling to the Tar Heels 70-57 on Jan. 2. Both teams battled back and forth early, but the Tar Heels secured the lead right before halftime and never gave it up. Carrington still managed to put up a strong performance despite the loss, posting 20 points.

But the Panthers’ luck finally changed in their final matchup of winter break against Lousiville. The Panthers routed the Cardinals 83-70 to secure their first ACC win of the season.

Pitt women’s basketball Pitt women’s basketball’s struggles continue. The Panthers completely fell flat over the break, going 1-5 in that stretch. Pitt’s lone win of winter break came against Le Moyne, as the Panthers routed the inferior Dolphins 56-39.

But the Panthers failed completely in their other five games over break. Pitt began its losing stretch with a 7362 loss to Ball State. The Cardinals completely dominated the Panthers throughout the game, outsourcing Pitt in all four quarters.

The Panthers rebounded slightly against Georgia on

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Dec. 20, as they only lost 65-59. The Panthers managed against No. 18 Notre Dame on Jan. 4. Pitt looked fully to keep the game close through three quarters, but the capable of completing the major upset, as it outscored Bulldogs pulled away in Notre Dame 18-8 in the the fourth quarter to sethird quarter to take a 48cure the win.

47 lead. But the Fighting Pitt’s worst loss of the Irish pulled away in the break came at the hands fourth quarter, outsourcof No. 11 Virginia Tech ing the Panthers 24-18 to on Dec. 31. The Hokies take home the win. crushed the Panthers, Pitt finished out its cruising to a 91-41 vicwinter break with anothtory. This was Pitt’s worst er loss to Georgia Tech on loss of the season by a Senior forward Blake Hinson (2) attempts to Jan. 7. The Panthers now wide margin. shoot the ball during Pitt men’s basketball’s stand in second to last in But the Panthers game against Canisius on Saturday Dec. 9, the ACC with an abysmal managed to rebound 2023. Pamela Smith | Contributing Editor 0-3 conference record.

January 10, 2024

Wrestling Coming off a major upset win over No. 5 Ohio State the week prior, Pitt wrestling had massive expectations as it traveled to Nashville, Tennessee, for the National Collegiate Duals on Dec. 18. But the Panthers couldn’t quite live up to the hype, finishing 1-2 in the duals.

The Panthers began the duals with a tough test, as they faced No. 6 Iowa State to start the day. Pitt put up a strong fight but ultimately fell 21-14 to the Cyclones.

Pitt struggled mightily following the narrow loss to Iowa State. The Panthers faced a 27-12 blowout loss to No. 5 Cornell before barely defeating Little Rock 22-21.

Redshirt sophomore Luca Augustine was the only Panther to go 3-0 at the duals. The 174-pound wrestler fared extremely well in Nashville, defeating two top-25 opponents during his perfect day.

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OPINION

LEAVE THE LIGHTS ON THIS SEMESTER IN AND AND AVOID AN ALL-CONSUMING SEASONAL DEPRESSION OUT LISTS Thomas Riley Opinions Editor

the difference between a quick power cry and an eighthour workday worth of sobbing.

A dark room suffocates the person living in it. It drives you to feel like clawing your own eyes out might be the only way to stop crying because the notion of pushing through that black blanket pervading your room seems an impossible task. You’re hopelessly glued to your bed, and yet in some ways you find comfort in the fact that it would be so difficult to get up.

I often found the most safety when I was at my lowest on a lonely winter night.

My mind felt like it was melting inside my skull, but it felt so good to rot because I couldn’t possibly expect myself to overcome the leviathan of a lightless bedroom. It wasn’t my fault I was drowning — I was swimming in tar.

But when the lights came on, it was easier to realize I wasn’t as trapped as I thought. In the light, you can see your room and your decorations, and slowly the world becomes less scary and more approachable. The world isn’t ending — in fact, it’s just as mundane as it was a few days ago when you were feeling alright.

Keeping your room lit will help prevent that descent into a depression that holds you hostage by making you feel safe in your misery. When the lights are off and your room becomes a cave, it’s easy to believe in the shadows your brain casts on the wall. Don’t let the winter blues make you a prisoner to the dark.

Thomas Riley really hopes this column still holds up in February. Wish them luck at tjr83@pitt.edu Izzy Poth | Staff Illustrator

The spring semester is finally upon us, and the sun is setting at a cool 4:30 in the afternoon — for many college students, this is a recipe for spiraling into their worst mental state since last February.

Each year, I find myself falling back into old selfdestructive and depressive habits right around the end of daylight saving time, an outdated tradition the House refuses to get rid of because they like to see every American suffer. Fortunately for me, after a seven-year streak of succumbing to the winter blues, I’ve made it to January and still feel quite alright.

The secret to this is keeping your living space as welllit as possible.

Your therapist might recommend joining a club or exercising or spending more time with your friends, and while these are all great suggestions, they’re also all very difficult to do when you can feel the winter nights gouging the energy from your body. Besides, I haven’t stepped foot in a gym for over two years now, and my muscles are hardly showing any signs of atrophy.

Leaving the lights on is an easy way to ward off the winter blues because it requires very little effort — there are no email lists, uncooperative group chats or intimidating men hanging around the light switch even though you want to use it. It’s just a simple three steps from your desk, and hey, there’s some exercise for the day.

It seems somewhat obvious to leave the lights on to make up for the debilitating lack of natural light during the day, but I never actually realized how helpful it was until this year, especially after visiting my parents over break and remembering what my winters were like in high school.

My parents seem to be under the bizarre impression that they live in a Romanesque abbey that can only be lit by candles and oil lamps, leaving our home in near total darkness once the sun sets. My schedule of getting

home from high school, enjoying the sunlight for one hour and then spending seven more hours in the dark on the couch was, in hindsight, not very conducive to a healthy mental state.

Darkness is depressing. It triggers melatonin production, which makes us groggy and unmotivated. This is great if you’re trying to fall asleep, but less great when you’ve still got five hours left in your day and homework to do. When the body suddenly craves rest even when we want to be active, it makes us feel incapable and lacking, feeding into depressive thought patterns.

Light, on the other hand, is stimulating — light therapy is a very common treatment for diagnosed seasonal affective disorder. Exposure to light helps synthesize serotonin, which aids in mood stability and motivation, and suppresses melatonin. Not only will your mind be more active, but your body won’t betray you by sinking into your cushions.

A specialized light therapy lamp is certainly the most helpful, but for those of us who are hesitant to blow $100 on a swanky lightbulb, simply keeping your house lights on is the next best thing. While it might mess with the feng shui of your apartment, higher-temperature blue light is best to stimulate serotonin production.

Of course, if you’re already a burnt-out STEM student and the last thing you need is more science in your life, you can also approach it less cerebrally and consider your own personal relationship to light. I’ve had my fair share of breakdowns, and the lighting ultimately made

opi nion

ARE OUT FOR 2024

Gabriela Herring Staff Columnist

Happy New Year, dear reader! I hope that as the ball dropped in Times Square, any weight in your chest disappeared. I hope that you shared a New Year’s kiss with someone you cared about as the clock struck midnight and that your eyes flooded with tears as Auld Lang Syne filled the air around you. For in that first minute of 2024, you had a fresh slate.

Realistically, the issues that plagued you last year have likely stayed by your side, as much as I hate to admit it. However, I hope this new beginning has offered you a renewal in the belief that they won’t always be. That’s what I’ve always loved about the beginning of the year — the abundance of time laid out before me in which I know for certain that absolutely everything will change. I just cross my fingers that it will change for the better.

It goes without saying that change is terrifying, but it’s largely out of our hands. I would say it’s pointless to attempt to control it, but it’s human nature to try to — or shall I say, resolve to. New Year’s resolutions have become more symbolic of hope than realistic aspirations, reminding you that change can

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PITT FOOTBALL WELCOMES BACK KEY STARTERS IN 2024 Conor Hutchison

nounced his recommitment to Pitt for his sophomore year. Johnson found himself steadily inIn an era dominated by the all-powerful trans- volved in the Panthers’ offense with 15 receptions fer portal, college football players are no longer for 122 yards, a receiving touchdown and a kick guaranteed to stick around for longer than a year. return touchdown as a first-year player. A player Pitt football head coach Pat Narduzzi expressed with Johnson’s skillset and three years of eligibility his thoughts on this challenge after a 58-7 loss to left is atN o t r e tractive Dame this for any ofpast seafense. Noson. tably, the “As a day before football Johnson’s coach, you announcelose a lot of ment, Nargood playduzzi aners from nounced a year ago We s t e r n and you Carolina think as of fe ns ive a coach, coordinayou’re gotor Kade ing to reBell, who First-year Kenny Johnson (2) competes for a catch durplace them ing the game against Louisville at Acrisure Stadium on led the No. 1 and obviousOct. 14, 2023. Pamela Smith | Contributing Editor passing attack ly we haven’t,” in the FCS, as Narduzzi said. the Panthers’ next offensive coordinator.

To counter the threat of the transfer portal, the Another surprising and exciting announcePanthers attacked high school recruiting, landing ment came from junior running back Rodney the 43rd-best overall recruiting class in the nation Hammond Jr. Hammond was the lead back in according to on3. However, the Panthers are lucky the Panthers’ offense this season, averaging 4.6 to welcome back some key players who decided to yards per carry with four touchdowns. Hamreturn to Oakland for another year. mond announced in December that he was reJunior tight end Gavin Bartholomew an- turning for his senior year. nounced on Dec. 1, 2023, that he was returning Hammond started the 2023 season on the for his senior season. Bartholomew recorded 18 watchlist for the Doak Walker Award, the award receptions for 326 yards and a touchdown in his for the nation’s best running back, and looked to eight games this past season. follow in line with other legendary Pitt running Bartholemew is considered one of the most backs such as James Conner and Israel Abanitalented members of Pitt’s passing attack with his kanda in recent years. While Hammond split carsticky hands, strength and blocking intelligence. ries with senior running back C’Bo Flemister, he Bartholomew is one of the most valuable returners still had a productive year and is looking to add to that the Panthers could have. it with his new offensive coordinator.

Complimenting Bartholomew in the Panthers’ In the trenches is the duo of tackles in junior passing attack is junior wide receiver Konata left tackle Branson Taylor and first-year right tackMumpfield, who is looking to step up as the top le Ryan Baer, who announced their return on Dec. receiver after senior wide receiver Bub Means de- 5 and Dec. 6, 2023, respectively. Baer, the 6-foot-7, clared for the NFL Draft.

330-pounder found himself in the starting lineup Mumpfield hauled in 44 receptions for 576 after a season-ending injury to senior offensive yards and five touchdowns in 12 games. This last lineman Matt Goncalves — who had not allowed season, Pitt’s offense utilized Mumpfield as a deep a sack since 2021. Despite the large role to fill, Baer threat. The Panthers want to get Mumfield the ball, did well enough to make his return very exciting and fans can get excited that they’ve got a reliable for the Panthers’ offense and whomever their QB wideout coming back for the 2024 season. may be.

Another wide receiver returning is explosive Taylor, who has become an ironman for the first-year wide receiver Kenny Johnson, who an- Panthers, has only missed one game due to injury Staff Writer

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over the last two seasons. This last season was the 10, 2023, and Dec. 4, 2023, respectively. Temple last for serecorded nior offen1.5 sacks sive linemen and Hayes Jake Kradel recorded and Blake four sacks, a Zubovic, forced fumgiving Tayble, and four lor room for pass deflecan increased tions. Hayes role. played in all On the 12 games defensive last season side of the for the Panball, the thers, with Panthers a two-sack had several day against Junior tight end Gavin Bartholomew (86) celebrates with players enter Boston Colteammates following a successful play during a game the transfer lege. against the Cincinnati Bearcats at Acrisure Stadium on portal not long Possibly Sept. 9, 2023. Lucas Zheng | Senior Staff Photographer after the seathe biggest son ended. However, the trio of linebackers first- returner for the Panthers in 2024 is junior safety Donovan McMillon. McMillon recorded 105 total tackles for the Panthers in 2023, with a forced fumble and a pass deflection to go on top of that. Against West Virginia, McMillon led all players with 18 tackles.

McMillon, a Pittsburgh native, brings elite tackling skills with simultaneous good instincts in zone coverage. Alongside him comes sophomore defensive back Javon McIntyre, who is also looking Junior wide receiver Konata Mumpfield (9) comes forward to the 2024 season as down with a catch during the game against the Cina Panther. McIntyre recorded cinnati Bearcats at Acrisure Stadium on Sept. 9, 2023.

85 total tackles and an impresLucas Zheng | Senior Staff Photographer sive seven pass deflections last year Jordan Bass, junior Soloman DeShields and season. senior Brandon George decided to exit the portal To round out the defensive back room is junior and stay in Oakland for the 2024 season.

Phillip O’Brien J., who recorded 41 total tackles, DeShields was the most productive of the three, a forced fumble, two pass deflections and three with 27 solo tackles and two sacks. interceptions, including a crucial redzone pick First-year linebacker Braylan Lovelace found against Boston College late in the third quarter. himself next to DeShields often throughout last Players, fans and coaches are certainly unhappy season, but his recommitment has not been an- with the results of last season. All parties involved nounced. are hoping that these key returners can bring Pitt A duo of defensive linemen are spending football back to success. With a schedule that their senior seasons in Oakland with senior Nate seems lighter on paper than this past season, Pitt Temple and senior Dayon Hayes announcing their football wants to use these players as a jumpstart excitement to return for the 2024 season on Dec. to a good season.

January 10, 2024

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SAT I R E

HOW TO RECOVER FROM THE STRESS OF THE HOLIDAYS

Alaina McCall

Honestly, not as bad as I was expecting. It was one of the few times I laughed and forgot about my worWhile many students may have found winter break ries during this “break.” And Timmy Shall-Shall is just to be a fun and relaxing respite from the chaos of the soooo fine that he makes you forget how unnecessary school year, the rest of us just want to forget everything a Wonka origin story was to begin with. We get to stare that just happened. Whether it was the stress of con- at his little almost-stubble for two hours! Nothing can stantly being surrounded by our loving families, day beat that. after day of beratement from people we thought had finally matured but seem to instead be worse than ever, or learning family lore we could never have prepared ourselves for, many of us are considering not venturing beyond Oakland ever again. At least, definitely not during the holidays again. So, if you find yourself in the “school is the break from my disaster of a life” camp, here’s a tried and true list of ways to recover from having to remember why you moved away to begin with, from an old pro.

1. Retail therapy Spend all your Christmas money online shopping.

Sure, it’s poorly made clothing that’ll last a month tops.

But you can’t beat those prices! And, maybe wearing stylish clothing will make people like you more! Like, probably not, but maybe!

Carrington Bryan | Staff Illustrator 2. Watch the new “Wonka” movie Yeah, it’s not “Citizen Kane,” but it was fun enough.

3. Self care Staff Columnist

this once, and that it’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but, at the same time, YOLO, y’know?

9. Make resolutions You’re obviously better than everyone, so this might be hard, but there must be at least one thing you can improve upon. Maybe you’d be a better person if you knew how to play the xylophone. You’ll never know until you try.

10. Did I mention that I got a jump rope and a harmonica and an orange for Christmas?

I mean, I like all of those things, but it feels like something someone would have gotten in the ‘50s. Like, picture “Happy Days.” Richie or Joanie definitely got all of those things for Christmas one year. Not a complaint, just an observation.

11. Commit a crime Elaborate bank heists are fun. Allegedly. Or, if you get caught spray painting, you can be charged with criminal mischief, which sounds too fun to not try to get on your record. I’ve never hijacked a bus before, so I don’t know how stress relieving it is, but it just really feels like it would set me up for a good semester. Give it a shot and get back to me! I’m not liable for anything you do, though. For legal reasons, this is a joke. But do it.

12. Lie to yourself Literally just pretend like nothing that happened actually happened. Tell everyone about the cool new Air Force 1’s you got for Christmas and not about anything else that occurred. For example, you could say, “Hahahaha yes I had a relaxing break and I’m normal and good right now!” People eat this up.

13. Make new friends in class Tell them all about how you think the high suicide rates around the holidays aren’t from people sad that they’re alone this time of the year, but are, in fact, from people being forced to see the people they worked so hard to get away from and the trauma and pain induced by that experience.

So! There you go! “Thirteen Reasons Why” did it first, but I may have done it best. Thirteen tips, ribbed for your pleasure, to assuredly fix every single thing wrong inside of your head right now. Congratulations.

You’re welcome. And since I’m spitting bars, here’s a bonus tip disguised as a conclusion paragraph.

Side B: 14. Consider how far you’ve come I bet it hit the other wall. Ha. You’ve accomplished so much! And you’re so lucky. You’re not stuck there. And you’re not going back anytime soon. You can have peace and quiet. And leftovers in the fridge for more than a day without someone else eating them. And joy. Real joy. You’re sane. And you made it out. And I love you.

You’re doing a great job. Keep going. You’re not Sisyphus. You’re The Little Engine That Could.

Sacrifice a virgin in the forest. Hell, sacrifice two!

You’ve been through a lot. You deserve it! You deserve everything. Including a favor from a demon. I’ve heard that you can even get an iPhone 100 this way. The only downside is that they won’t offer Apple Care for it until September of 2109. And you’ll lose your immortal soul.

But it comes in real gold! That’s probably worth it.

4. Watch “Goodfellas” for the fourth time this month This one’s just a little treat for so expertly bouncing back from all of that. You’re literally slaying so hard right now.

5. Envision yourself as a happy, complete person A person who can spell envision without autocorrect. No, seriously. Picture it. No typing an “i,” backspacing it, typing an “e,” then just saying screw it and going back to the original “i.” Then you finish the next word, see no squiggly lines, and think, “Hey! I did it!” Then you type the third word and realize what a failure you are. Do you feel like a happy, complete person yet?

6. Get a head start on the new semester Buy that new agenda! You’ll totally use it this year!

And those Yoobi mini highlighters you bought three years ago. People can change! Not your family, but people!

7. Talk to friends or something “Or something” means masturbate.

8. Try to be normal Take a whole bottle of Xanax and walk along a river Alaina McCall writes things. They would rather be in the dark. This has never failed anyone’s holiday stress a lighthouse keeper than do whatever they’re doing now. recovery process before. I’ve heard that you can only do You can reach them at mccallalaina@gmail.com

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January 10, 2024

10

Herring, pg. 8 always be enacted, you are the captain of your own ship and that a new beginning can come at the snap of your own fingers.

In recent years, people have gravitated toward more casual means of instituting these changes in their lives, such as the “In and Out” lists you have likely seen splashed across social media. These lists are the next phase in a long history of evolving forms of New Year’s resolutions.

The tradition of New Year's resolutions is over 4,000 years old, beginning as promises made to the gods. Ancient Babylonians and Romans both partook in their own versions, though each aimed to gain the favor of the gods in the new year.

Over time, resolutions have evolved into a more secular tradition where people make a promise to themselves, aiming to transform into their most evolved selves. Likely, you have thought to yourself, “I will exercise,” “I will eat better,” “I will stop biting my nails,” “I will spend less money,” “I will stop being my own worst enemy.” The list trails on endlessly, and I am sure that you, reader, are familiar with its winding path.

The most recent iteration of the New Year’s resolution is less formal, less traditional and less confining. The In and Out list is the casual, much cooler, younger sister of the New Year’s resolution.

This vessel for self improvement has swept across the internet throughout the last few months due to the influence of internet personality and author Eli

Rallo’s monthly installments via Instagram. not synonymous with a flawless execution.

Essentially, each list is a combination of inYucking someone else’s yum is the phrase that consequential trends and self-improvement goals comes to mind when I think of In and Out lists — that have either proved themselves substantial and which exposes me as far more online than I would worthy of moving onto the next month with the like to admit. These In and Out lists have surpassed creator of the list, or they have been overdone and being a way to externalize our problems. Instead, no longer serve your mission of fulfillment in the they’ve become a means for dictating trendiness quest for joy we call life.

— the mean girl mentality The In list holding the masquerading as self-help. former and the Out list Namely, the Out list containing the latter, it’s has become a vessel used a simple strategy to ento shame other people for sure gratification and acenjoying things that are complishment because it no longer currently in line casts such a wide net. It’s with the trend cycle. While okay if you didn’t hit your it should go without saying steps goal today because that you are free to like what you lit a candle and took you do and dislike what you time for yourself. don’t, social media presencThese lists began as a es are all about perception. fun spin on our rapidly And the people most tuned progressing trend cycle. in — young girls — crave Rather than finding, envalidation above all and are gaging with and then disfollowing these lists to the Izzy Poth | Staff Illustrator carding trends, the lists letter. replace them with habits. The lists offer the act of committing to New Year’s resolutions a muchneeded balance, flexibility and, most importantly, grace in a process that many find grueling. It’s a beautiful sentiment, truly, but pure intentions are

Who cares if you have a phone chain or drink diet soda? Deeming aesthetics such as “the eclectic grandpa” and “the coastal grandmother” as opponents on the sliding scale of trendiness forces the revaluation of personal style and taste, which

is so tightly bound to self-worth. These lists have the power to — and do — make people reckon with superficial, meaningless things that have no bearing on who they are as people. It pushes some arbitrary conception of “coolness” that is entirely dependent on consumerism.

Resolutions are meant to give us a feeling of control over our circumstances, but we’ve allowed them to have the reverse effect of trying to control the lives of others.

Just because you think you’re the shit doesn’t mean that you need to make other people feel like shit. Posting your resolutions online as a way of holding yourself accountable for sticking to them is respectable, but posting about them so that other people feel less than is a disgusting use of your own influence. It feels almost stupid to have to say, but if you don’t like something and it does no harm to yourself or others, keep it to yourself.

As long as you’re not going around kicking puppies, I don’t really care what’s in or out for you anymore. If it helps you, then make your vision board, focus on your goals and find ways to make them attainable. Godspeed, my friend.

Gabriela Herring is an English writing major with minors in English literature and secondary education. She mostly writes about things that her friends (and her mom) are tired of hearing her talk about. Write to her at gnh6@pitt.edu.

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