April Fool's 2019

THE PITT NEWS ^ BRA D april 1, 2019 | volume 109

BRAD FOR PRESIDENT? • WHAT THE GOVERNMENT DOESN’T WANT YOU TO KNOW • SECRETS, LIES AND INTRIGUE! • WHAT CAN’T HE DO?

cover design by eli savage | assistant layout Editor cover photo Via Marvin Lynchard, DoD News | Wikimedia Commons

THE REAL WILLIAM PITT

News

WHAT’S THE SIZZLIN’ HOT GOSS ON BRAD PITT?

Erica Guthrie

Senior Staff Writer Amid ongoing divorce proceedings, veteran actor Brad Pitt has taken a step back from the spotlight to focus on his children.

After a 10-year relationship and two years of marriage with actress Angelina Jolie, Jolie filed for divorce from Pitt in 2016. The actress, who starred in Disney’s “Maleficent,” cited irreconcilable differences and requested full custody of the pair’s six children in legal documents.

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The filings came five days after an alleged physical altercation between an inebriated Pitt and the couple’s oldest son, Maddox Jolie-Pitt, then age 15. The altercation took place on Sept. 14 in a private aircraft traveling from Nice, France, to the family’s home in Los Angeles County.

Due to the nature of the allegations, the FBI and the Los Angeles Department of Children and Family Services began investigating Pitt. In a statement to Reuters, Laura Eimiller, a spokeswoman for FBI’s Los Angeles field office, said that they

would not be filing any charges against Pitt.

“In response to allegations made following a flight within the special aircraft jurisdiction of the United States which landed in Los Angeles carrying Mr. Brad Pitt and his children, the FBI has conducted a review of the circumstances and will not pursue further investigation,” said Eimiller.

In addition to Maddox, who was adopted from Cambodia at 7 months old, the couple also have Zahara, age 14, ad-

April 1, 2019

opted from Ethiopia; Pax, age 15, adopted from Vietnam; and three biological children: Shiloh, age 12, and twins Knox and Vivienne, age 10.

Initial custody arrangements gave Jolie primary custody of the children, with Pitt having supervised visits. But their most recent custody arrangement gave Pitt more input and time with their children, according to legal documents obtained by The Blast.

“Not having a relationship with their See Sizzlin’ on page 4

2

Maggie Young

Senior Staff Writer There’s a handful of celebrities who have transitioned from the entertainment business to politics, from Ronald Reagan to Arnold Schwarzenegger to our current president, Donald J. Trump. The pattern raises the question — who will be the next movie star to grace the political stage?

A particular possibility one could toy around with lies in William Bradley “Brad” Pitt. The “Fight Club” star and husband (divorce pending) of Angelina Jolie is often hailed for his good looks and stellar performances, but some may question if he should be receiving attention for his moves in the political landscape and his run for president in 2020 instead.

Pitt gave public support for Obama’s presidency at a movie premiere in 2012, leading some to classify Pitt as more leftleaning. But regardless of ideology, sophomore pharmacy major Payal Bhatt said she thought the idea of Pitt running for president could be interesting.

“I think that’d be pretty exciting, honestly. It’d be pretty funny. He’s pretty, he’s

ANALYSIS: IS BRAD PITT GEARING UP FOR PRESIDENTIAL RUN? It is unlikely, but not impossible, that Brad Pitt will run for President. Via Marvin Lynchard, DoD News Features | wikimedia commons

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April 1, 2019

See Presidential on page 5

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Sizzlin’, pg. 2 father is harmful to them,” the documents read. “It is critical that each of them have a healthy and strong relationship with their father and mother.”

The documents also scolded Jolie for not playing an active role in repairing her children’s relationship with their father.

The agreement said that Jolie could no longer monitor her children’s contact with their father, or else she could lose custody.

“If the minor children remain closed down to their father and depending on the circumstances surrounding this condition, it may result in a reduction of the time they spend with [Jolie] and may result in the Court ordering primary physical custody to [Pitt],” the documents said.

Under California law regarding age and custody agreements, Maddox JoliePitt, now 17, is allowed to decide how much time he chooses to spend with his father.

Jolie’s lawyer, Samantha Bley DeJean, told US Weekly the custody agreement was signed by both parties in November.

“The agreement, which is based on the recommendations of the child custody evaluator, eliminates the need for a trial,” Bley DeJean said. “The filing and details of the agreement are confidential to protect the best interests of the children.”

Permanent custody arrangements will not be in place until the former couple officially divorces. As of recently, Pitt and Jolie had not yet finalized their divorce as they were still making arrangements on the split of their joint properties.

In an interview with GQ, Pitt revealed that he had been consuming too much alcohol during his relationship with Jolie, and he had become sober following their split.“I had to step away for a minute. And truthfully I could drink a Russian under the table with his own vodka. I was a professional. I was good,” Pitt said. “Don’t want to live that way anymore.”

In pursuit of a new creative outlet, Pitt told GQ he had been spending a significant amount of time at the studio of his friend, sculptor Thomas Houseago.

“I’m making everything. I’m working with clay, plaster, rebar, wood. Just trying to learn the materials. You know, I surprise myself,” Pitt said. “But it’s a very, very lonely occupation. There’s a lot of manual labor, which is good for me right now. A

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lot of lugging clay around, chopping and moving and cleaning up after yourself.

But I surprise myself.”

Additionally, Pitt said he was starting to venture into listening to R&B music, noting in particular Frank Ocean’s music and Marvin Gaye’s “Here, My Dear” album.

“For me this period has been about looking at my weaknesses and failures and owning my side of the street,” he said.

“You know, I just started therapy. I love it, I love it.”

Currently, Pitt is promoting his up-

coming movie, “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” written and directed by Quentin Tarantino. Set in Hollywood in the summer of 1969, a turning point for the entertainment industry, Pitt stars as Cliff Booth, the best friend and stunt double to Leonardo DiCaprio’s Rick Dalton, a washed-up TV star.

While the main characters are fictional, Margot Robbie portrays Sharon Tate, the pregnant actress who was killed by followers of cult leader Charles Manson.

The Manson family murders will serve as a backdrop to Booth and Dalton’s narra-

April 1, 2019

tive.

The movie, filmed last summer, marks the first film that Pitt is starring in after his marriage with Jolie fell apart. Pitt said he chose to put his career on the back burner and focus on his children first following the split.

“Kids are so delicate,” Pitt said in his GQ interview. “They absorb everything.

They need to have their hand held and things explained. They need to be listened to. When I get in that busy work mode, I’m not hearing. I want to be better at that.”

4

Presidential, pg. 3 pretty. And he’s an actor, so he could probably act as a really great president,” Bhatt said.

When asked if she would support Pitt’s presidential campaign, Bhatt compared the possibility of Pitt running to the current state of the U.S. presidency.

“At this point, yeah,” Bhatt said. “It can’t get any worse.”

FiveThirtyEight, a data journalism website known for its elections coverage,

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released a guide in May 2017 titled “The 7 Signs That Someone Might be Running for President in 2020.”

According to the website, some signs a particular figure may be running for president include making at least one visit to Iowa, South Carolina or New Hampshire — states that have early primaries and typically predict a candidate’s momentum in the race — for a political event.

The other indicators of a potential presidential run are interviewing with a magazine with a large following of political enthusiasts, making a campaign appearance

for gubernatorial or senatorial candidates of the same party outside the aforementioned states, releasing a book during the period between the 2012 election and the 2014 midterms and being included in an early poll of the presidential race.

For the 2016 election, only three potential candidates met all seven requirements — Ted Cruz, Rand Paul and Marco Rubio.

Trump only met three, since he was not included in polls and did not write a book in the years leading up to his election.

Current front-runners for 2020 in terms of this guide, according to the web-

April 1, 2019

site, include Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders, with list appearances by Oprah Winfrey and Mark Zuckerberg.

FiveThirtyEight’s list fails to include Brad Pitt. He has not been sighted in New Hampshire, Iowa or South Carolina and he has not published a book since 2000.

He did, however, do an interview with GQ in May 2017, which has part of its website dedicated to political coverage.

The guide’s writers did admit its data is possibly incomplete because “some candidates didn’t receive much media coverage before their campaigns began, which makes them difficult to track.”

They added that “even when coverage is good, it’s particularly difficult to prove a negative, such as that someone never went to Iowa for a political event during a twoyear period.”

While there isn’t coverage of Pitt doing any of these things, he fulfills all the legal criteria for running for president. He was born in Shawnee, Oklahoma, on Dec. 18, 1963, making him at least 35 years of age, and has lived in the United States for at least the past 14 years.

If Pitt were to ever run for president, Michelle Hector, a sophomore neuroscience major, said his lack of experience in the political arena would keep her from supporting him.

“I would not vote for him. He doesn’t have any experience in politics, so there’s that,” Hector said.

But if Pitt could demonstrate political ability, Hector said she would possibly consider giving Pitt her vote.

“If he could prove that he had experience I would maybe [consider it],” Hector said. “I’d be shocked, like I’d read about it, but I wouldn’t vote for him. Unless he has good policies.”

Bouncing off of the potential for Pitt to distinguish himself as a politician, sophomore neuroscience and sociology major Lauren Yu advised Pitt to begin his political journey with running for a more local office.

“Start small, run for mayor, run for governor. Do something more political than just act. Like being an actor is not good enough, sorry, for the presidency,” Yu said.

It is uncertain whether Pitt will run for president, but Hector hasn’t given up on Pitt as a potential vice presidential candidate.

“I feel like if he teamed up with Bernie or something, I’d be like, OK,” Hector said.

5

Opinions

column

HOW TO PRANK YOUR FRIENDS The actual William Pitt the WITH BRAD PITT’S FACE WPU should be named after from the editorial brad

The William Pitt Union sits at the heart of this University, home to various student organizations that are an important part of life on campus. The Union is named after William Pitt, first Earl of Chatham — but there’s another William Pitt, a William Bradley Pitt, who really deserves the honor of having this important building named after him. We can’t count the ways Brad Pitt has shaped this world, but we can count the reasons we can show Brad Pitt at least a fraction of the love he deserves.

Here are our top five reasons William Bradley Pitt should be the real William Pitt behind the William Pitt Union.

Brad Pitt deserves representation, too William Pitt, first Earl of Chatham, was a member of the British cabinet during the 18th century. He lent his name to not only our student union, but also Chatham University, the City of Pittsburgh and Pittston Township.

And his geographic range doesn’t stop with Pennsylvania — a slew of cities, counties and islands across the United States, Canada, Ecuador and New Zealand also bear his name. Every day, Brad Pitt has to live with all of these places as a reminder that he wasn’t the first William Pitt to make a splash on the world stage. He really needs this win.

Brad Pitt has an Obama connection Given the events of the last two years, a lot of us have been missing former President Barack Obama. We might feel a little better about our current political climate, however, if we named our student union after a man who’s actually met Obama. That’s right, Brad Pitt visited the White House in 2009 to discuss his charity, the Make it

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Right Foundation, which built safe and affordable housing in New Orleans in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina — something William Pitt certainly never did. But it turns out, not only has Brad Pitt met Obama, he’s also Obama’s ninth cousin. Could Brad Pitt get his cousin to pay Pitt students a visit? We won’t know until we rename the Union.

Brad Pitt: Sexiest Man Alive Brad Pitt was chosen as the Sexiest Man Alive by People Magazine not once, but twice, in 1995 and 2000. He was the first man to be selected twice for the coveted title. William Pitt wasn’t even chosen once. In fact, it’s unclear if he was ever in the running. Enough said.

Brad Pitt is a charitable man Brad Pitt joined the ONE Campaign in 2004 to fight alongside Bono against poverty and preventable diseases in poor countries, mostly in Africa. He’s used his celebrity status to promote a variety of other charities, like Doctors Without Borders and Global Green USA. Brad Pitt and ex-wife Angelina Jolie donated more than $8 million to charities in 2006 alone. William Pitt might have done charity work, but he definitely didn’t do it with Bono. And if it’s not with Bono, it doesn’t really count.

Brad Pitt was almost a journalist Brad Pitt studied journalism at the University of Missouri. In his last semester, with only two credits left to complete, he dropped out of college and went to Los Angeles to become an actor. The William Pitt Union is home to The Pitt News office, and since Brad Pitt was almost a journalist, it seems only fitting that he become the building’s namesake.

Allison Dantinne

Senior Staff Columnist Have you ever wanted to pull off the perfect April Fools’ Day prank without resorting to extremes to carry out your shenanigans? This year, prank your friends while honoring one of America’s greatest figures: Brad Pitt. He’s the perfect vehicle to create enjoyable, lighthearted pranks without lots of work or materials. Here are seven places you can put Brad Pitt to have a (B)rad Pitt April Fools’ Day.

Inside the mini fridge, right underneath your almond milk Is your roommate always taking your milk?

Do they find a dry bowl of cereal insufferable and see your milk as the only solution to this problem? If this is your problem, fear not — Brad Pitt has the answer. Take a small picture of Brad Pitt and tape it inside the refrigerator, right where the milk goes. The next time they remove the milk, they’ll receive the judgment of America’s favorite Hollywood actor.

See Prank on page 7

Brad Pitt would make a rad Pitt prank.

Via Dick Thomas Johnson | wikimedia commons

April 1, 2019

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Prank, pg. 6 Underneath all the grilled cheeses at Market Ah, grilled cheese day, every Market visitor’s favorite day. The only way to improve this day, of course, is to add Brad Pitt to it. For this prank, you will need to be very sneaky.

Take a large printout of Brad Pitt and gently slide it underneath all the grilled cheeses on the platter. Take a minute to revel in the crispy cheese scent of the Market grilled cheese before snapping out of it and focusing on the mission at hand. Next, make sure the Brad Pitt face is under as many grilled cheese sandwiches as possible. Now, when students grab a grilled cheese, they will reveal a piece of his face until all the grilled cheeses are gone, but all the Brad Pitt is visible.

Background for the desktops in Hillman Nothing is more inspiring to the student stuck writing a 15-page paper in the library than coffee, the promise of a nap to come and America’s sweetheart, Brad Pitt. You can provide one of these beautiful things to your fellow students in a few easy steps. First, log onto a desktop computer in Hillman. Then, google “Brad Pitt photo.” Next, abandon the computer with the search results for Brad Pitt open. Do this for every computer in Hillman.

Now, when a student goes to use a computer, they will be greeted with many pictures of Brad Pitt, the greatest studying motivator to ever live. At least for the next fifteen minutes, anyway.

A small picture underneath a very big picture For this Pitt prank, you’ll want to find a roommate who has a tapestry hanging on one of their walls. Remove the tapestry and throw it under their bed or something — just get it out of sight. Then, apply small pictures of Brad Pitt in its place. We’re not done just yet. Now, take much larger pictures of Brad Pitt and tape them on top of the smaller pictures. Each time your roommate tries to remove a large Brad Pitt, they’ll be met with many smaller Brad Pitts. It’s the prank that keeps on giving.

Five squares deep on the toilet paper Now I know what you’re thinking. There’s no possible way to make the experience of finding one of the four working toilets that also have toilet paper more enjoyable. Well, I’m here to tell you that you’re wrong. Anything can be made more enjoyable with the addition of Brad Pitt. For this prank, you’ll need many small pictures of Brad Pitt, some

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tape and the ability to reroll toilet paper.

First, unravel the toilet paper in the stall.

Then, tape the very small pictures of Brad Pitt to the toilet paper, about one Brad Pitt per square. Next, roll the toilet paper back up. Continue to do this to every toilet paper you can find. Today we don’t enjoy single-ply TP, we enjoy single-ply BPTP, as in Brad Pitt Toilet Paper.

The water fountains With all the looming stress of finals and all the terror-inducing announcements coming from the White House, it’s important for the modern student to stay hydrated and

alert. That’s why this next Brad Pitt prank will be such a hit. Print out a small picture of Brad Pitt and tape it to the water fountain.

Put him on every water fountain you see.

Whenever a fellow student goes in to get a drink or fill a water bottle, they’ll be met with the tall glass of water that is Brad Pitt.

Inside every thought your friend conceives...forever This one is really more of a long-game Brad Pitt prank. For this activity, you want to single out one friend over the course of a few months. Now, in every conversation you have with them, talk about Brad Pitt. Show

April 1, 2019

them pictures of Brad Pitt. Describe how you imagine Brad Pitt smells. Every time you’re in their room, leave behind one picture of Brad Pitt in an inconspicuous place, such as inside a picture frame or inside their sock drawer.

Continue these shenanigans for a few months and before you know it, they’ll be mirroring your behaviors. They’ll become obsessed with Brad Pitt. He will consume their every waking thought. He will consume their subconscious thoughts. He will be all that your friend can see as they gently float ever downward, much like a feather in a breeze, until they finally reach true madness.

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The Pitt News SuDoku 4/1/19 courtesy of dailysudoku.com

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April 1, 2019

8

Sports

Weekend Sports: Pitt track goes for gold pittnews.com

Sluggish Sweet 16 dwarfed by Electric Elite Eight pittnews.com

TOP 5 BRAD PITT SPORTS ROLES

Trent Leonard Sports Editor

William Bradley Pitt, the namesake of our University and the man better known to the public as “Brad Pitt,” has enjoyed a highly successful career as both an actor and producer. Since his breakthrough in the early ’90s, Pitt’s roles have ranged from vampire to crazy scientist to sex symbol to war hero.

For our purposes, though, we’re going to take a look at Pitt’s best sports movies, or anytime he played a character who performed anything slightly resembling a sport. Whether flashing his sword skills or brazenly managing a baseball franchise, Pitt has carved out a respectable niche for himself in the fictional athletic industry.

1. “Moneyball” (2011), Billy Beane Not only is this Pitt’s best sports-related role — and one of the most acclaimed roles he’s ever played in general — but his Oscar-nominated performance as actor and producer has led many to list “Moneyball” as one of the greatest sports movies ever. Pitt plays Billy Beane, the real-life general manager of the 2002 Oakland Athletics who used unorthodox advanced analytics to assemble an MLB playoff team while working on a low budget.

Now, I don’t know much about the real-life Beane. I’m sure he’s a very interesting, intelligent guy. But I doubt that he’s even one-tenth as entertaining or confident as Pitt’s portrayal in the movie.

Pitt captivates in every scene he’s in, depicting Beane as a swaggering, uncompromising force of sarcastic wisdom and one-liners.

Sure, Pitt benefits from an incredible cast around him, from Jonah Hill as his screen sidekick to veteran screenwriter Aaron Sorkin creating his distinct rapid-fire dialogue. But Pitt’s trademark brashness takes lines like “I hate losing more than I even wanna win” and “There are rich teams and there are poor teams. Then, there’s 50 feet of crap. And then there’s us” to their maximum potential.

“Moneyball” isn’t listed as a comedy. But the funniest movies tend to be those that find their humor naturally, and in that sense, “Moneyball” is hilarious. Pitt’s antics include: roasting a room full of veteran scouts, berating his team after walking in a post-loss locker room party and trading away Oakland’s best player because he wanted the manager to

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insert someone else into the lineup. As an actor, Pitt rarely crosses over into the sports genre. But this role makes us wish we could see him do it more often.

2. “Fight Club” (1999), Tyler Durden The movie “Fight Club” is many things. On its deepest levels, it’s an exploration of manhood, a critique of capitalism and a proponent for counterculture. But when you strip away the symbolism and thematic elements, it’s mostly a movie about a group of guys — led by Pitt playing the character Tyler Durden — who use fighting as an outlet to relieve the stress of their mundane lives.

And if we’re talking about fighting in the athletic sense, well then Pitt’s Durden is pretty damn good at it, even if — spoiler alert — he’s not actually a real person. Durden is really just an unconscious, insomniatic projection of the unnamed narrator’s own oppressed persona, but we don’t know this until the very end of the movie. All we see is Pitt impressively kicking ass using his bare fists in cement-floored basements. His success in these fights and general passion for violence spawns other fight clubs all across the nation.

In real-life, Durden’s relentless hand-to-hand combat techniques might have earned him a spot in the Ultimate Fighting Championship. He shows the ability to launch devastating attacks like peak Conor McGregor, and in one scene shows that he can take a punch like peak Muhammad Ali, letting a club owner beat the tar out of him before launching a surprise counter-attack. Now that’s what I call rope-a-dope.

3. “Troy” (2004), Achilles “Troy” definitely isn’t a sports movie, unless you count the ancient Greek pastime of military conquest as a sport. But you know what is a sport? Fencing. Fencing involves swords, and possibly no person — real or fictional — has ever been as smooth and dominant with a sword in his hands as Pitt playing the near-invincible “Iliad” warrior Achilles.

We see how much of a beast Achilles is in the very first fight scene, when he kills the opposing army’s best soldier in all of about 10 seconds, then stares down their ranks and talks smack. Only Pitt could portray this character with all the confidence of a mythological hero and all the pettiness of a middle-schooler. He’s a true rogue soldier, beefing with his king throughout the film (“Imagine a king who fights his own battles. Wouldn’t that be a sight?”) and

spurning typical burial customs after wiping out the Trojans’ best man Hector (he parades his corpse around the city walls while staring down Hector’s entire onlooking family).

All things considered, Achilles is easily the most physically dominant character Pitt has ever played, and would win a battle of athletic competition versus any other role from his filmography.

4. “Burn After Reading” (2008), Chad Feldheimer In this Coen Brothers’ dark comedy, Pitt plays a supporting role as a dimwitted personal trainer named Chad Feldheimer who discovers a CD that he believes to have sensitive government information. This is an against-type role for Pitt where he strictly provides comedic relief, and it’s also the only film aside from “Moneyball” where his character explicitly works in an athletic field.

As a dutiful employee for the local gym Hardbodies, Feldheimer can always be seen “Moneyball” is one of the greatest sports movies sporting his gym uniform, rid- ever made, according to sports editor Trent Leoning a bike and drinking water. ard. Via Wolf Gang | flickr Despite his extremely low inteland gives one of the enemy goons a couple halfligence, Feldheimer’s passion for fitness and staying hydrated makes him a great hearted whacks before tossing the club off to the role model for young athletes everywhere. Unfor- side and using a grenade to blow him up instead.

This brief scene can be seen as a microcosm of tunately, in typical Coen Brothers’ fashion, Feldheimer is shot in the head during the film’s second Pitt’s entire acting career. His casting away of the golf club symbolizes his general spurning of sports act.

5. “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” (2005), John Smith roles, while his choosing of the grenade shows his Where are there any sports in this romantic- preference for portraying military characters like comedy-espionage film, you might ask? Aside he did in “Inglourious Basterds,” “Fury” and “War from Mr. Smith’s devastating combat techniques, Machine,” to name a few. But as he’s shown in all there’s a scene about an hour and a half into the the above movies, Pitt does an awesome job when movie where Pitt’s John and wife Jane, played by asked to play any sort of sports-related character. his real-life wife Angelina Jolie, are on the run from We can only hope that Pitt’s upcoming role in this a group of assassins. To signify his everyman sen- summer’s “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” will sibilities, John grabs a golf club out of his minivan put his athletic talents on full display.

April 1, 2019

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I N D E X

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****************** Large 6 bedroom house for rent. Fall occupancy.

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Shadyside 4909 Centre Ave. Great location for this spacious 1BR apartment located be­ tween Pitt and CMU. On buslines, near restaurants, hospital.

Rent includes heat.

Laundry, storage & parking available.

Up­dated kitchens and hardwood floors. $100 Amazon gift card upon move in. Avail‑ able spring, summer and fall. Contact Sue at 412‑720‑4756.

Brett/Thames Manor Apts. (Ellsworth & S. Negley Ave.) near CMU and Pitt.

Stu­dio‑One‑Two bed­ room apts. available for immediate move in. On bus line, close to restaurants and shops. *CALL IN FOR SPECIALS!* Contact Jerry at 412‑722‑8546 Shadyside: 1 and 2BR, great location, hardwood floors.

Free heat. Immedi‑ ate occupancy. Call 412‑361‑2695 Shadyside: Studio ($740) or 2 Bedroom ($1190). Quiet, clean, well‑main­tained apartment house.

Great location ‑ in heart of Shady­side!

Fully equipped kitchenette, A/C, laundry, wall‑to‑wall carpeting. Near Pitt shuttle and city busline and shopping.

No pets, no smoking.

Available Aug. 1st.

412‑628‑1686.

Rental Other Studios, 1, 2, & 3 Bedroom apartments available August 2019

& sooner. Oak­land, Shadyside, Friend‑ ship, Squirrel Hill, Highland Park, Point Breeze. Photos & current availabil‑ ity online, check out www.forbesmanage­ ment.net, or call 412.441.1211

Employment Employment Other OFFICE INTERN Shadyside Manage­ ment Company

seek­ing person w/

min 2 yrs. college,

for up­coming spring

semester, to inter­view & process rental ap‑ plicants, do inter­net

postings & help staff our action‑cen­tral

office. Either part time or full time OK now; full time over the

Mozart Management phone:412‑682‑7003 email:thane @mozartrents.com Team Scotti (insur­ ance broker for major league baseball) seek­ ing an information technology intern to assist in technical sup‑ port, troubleshoot­ing issues, organiza­tion and maintaining IT resources. Help with upgrading net­work equipment, as­sisting IT and other depart‑ ments with re­ports, tracking hard­ware and software in­ventory and other du­ties as assigned. Ideal candidate would have strong computer skills and a passion to learn. Fa­miliarity with Access is required.

Ability to work in a team en­vironment as well as independently is nec­essary. Contact Dave Webster at dweb­ster@team‑ scotti.com for further informa­tion.

summer. $13/hour.

Perfect job for sopho‑

mores/ju­niors, seniors plan­ning to enter grad school, returning grad

students, and first‑year law stu­dents!

Mozart Management 412‑682‑7003 thane

@mozartrents.com SUMMER WORK Shadyside Manage­ ment Company needs full‑time dependable landscapers, painters, and assistant roofers for the summer. Must be at least 18 years old. No experience necessary. $11/hour plus additional atten­ dance bonuses are available, if earned.

Work involves land­ scaping, painting, roofing, and general labor. Perfect sum­ mer job for college students!

April 1, 2019

11

pittnews.com

April 1, 2019

12