The Pitch: August 2022

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THE PITCH | August 2022 | THEPITCHKC.COM

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THE PITCH | August 2022 | THEPITCHKC.COM

August 2022 CONTENTS THEPITCHKC.COM

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Photo by Jim Nimmo

POLITICS

In Action Want to create systemic change? Look at your relationships

BY RACHEL POTUCEK According to change-makers across the metro, the answer to systemic issues is not a singular activist, but groups of concerned folks working together to better their communities.

7 LETTER

Letter from the Editor Escort Service

BY BROCK WILBUR

10 POLITICS

Cruel Intentions Missouri keeps going back to an abusive relationship

BY BARB SHELLY

8 In Action Want to create systemic change?

Look at your relationships

BY RACHEL POTUCEK

12 CULTURE

Effing It Up Birdie Hansen’s wicks and politics

BY BROCK WILBUR

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Courtesy Mikayla Brainard

CULTURE

All Dressed Up And Nowhere To Hoe American Girl memes as an act of rebellion

BY LAUREN TEXTOR Can there be ethical consumption under capitalism? Not with Mattel. A Missouri teenager uses Instagram memes to tweak Americal Girl’s content, meeting Gen Z where they’re at politically.

14 All Dressed Up And

Nowhere To Hoe American Girl memes as an act of rebellion

BY LAUREN TEXTOR

16 High Flying Birds Laura Martin elevates pole dancing in KC with Alchemy Space

BY HANNAH SCOTT

18 FOOD & DRINK

Shuckboi Island Earl’s Premier is deservedly at capacity

BY LIZ COOK

19 Eat This Now The Sicilian at Jovito’s Café and Deli

BY JORDAN BARANOWSKI

Photo by Zach Bauman

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FOOD & DRINK

Shuckboi Island Earl’s Premier is deservedly at capacity

BY LIZ COOK Earl’s Premier neighborhood restaurant serves up shellfish, beachy cocktails, and attentive service. As it reaches its third month in the business of serious seafood, there is already ample promise to improve.

Drink This Now The DILLIGAF at 9th and State

BY KALA ELKINTON

20 Tough As Nails

24 MUSIC

When You Were Young Quite Frankly are the literal next generation of rock’n’roll

BY NICK SPACEK

Keeping the ship (and the rind) afloat with Amanda DeJarnett

BY JUSTIN BURNELL

21 Mise en Place Theresa Santos-Spencer of Ting’s Filipino Bistro on geography lessons and family recipes

BY STEPH CASTOR

22 Be Kind and Rewind The dream of the ‘90s is alive beneath Screenland Armour

BY THOMAS WHITE Cover photo by Destiny Frack Design by Miroslav Pavlovic

THE PITCH | August 2022 | THEPITCHKC.COM

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August 2022 CONTENTS THEPITCHKC.COM

26 EVENTS

August Calendar

BY STEPH CASTOR, EMELINE HUTTON, HANNAH SCOTT, LAUREN TEXTOR, THOMAS WHITE

28 LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS Keep Them Coming Coitus interruptus

BY KRISTEN THOMAS

29 Savage Love Pride and preference

BY DAN SAVAGE

Letter from the Editor ESCORT SERVICE

By Brock Wilbur It’s not a tale I often share, but the first time I needed to acquire Plan B, I was en route to Disneyland.

I’d recently moved to LA and had started a relationship with a friend from college.

The night before our first planned outing to the most wonderful place on Earth, something of An Incident surprised us both. Having no idea how to go about acquiring an Undo This pill, we Googled our way through the process.

As to not ruin our plans for attending the adventure park for children, we made an appointment with the Planned Parenthood of Anaheim, CA as a brief stop on our way towards the place where I could get in line for Space Mountain and subsequently chicken-out of riding it.

At PP, we waited in a lobby behind bulletproof glass for 15 minutes. Then my girlfriend spoke with a doctor, and we went to pick up a prescription for a single pill. She could take the pill at any point in the day, so inside the park I held her hand while she swallowed the preventive medication.

We were standing right in front of Sleeping Beauty’s Castle—its shadow cast over us, and dozens of screaming children with beleaguered parents formed a Greek chorus of reminders that we were absolutely making the right decision.

That’s the story of some dumb kids, a broken condom, and a multiverse path where they brought a kid into a very, very unhappy relationship that would implode within months. That story is unimportant.

The detail of that day that stayed with us forever was that Planned Parenthood didn’t charge us anything to see a doctor. Not a dime. This would be the first and final time in my life that American healthcare would do that. I currently have a cut on my toe that won’t heal, and even with fairly decent insurance, that’s already racked up like $600.

We, in that office, had to be told aloud that we were allowed to leave without paying for anything. It cost more money that day to eat a churro than to not have a whoopsie-doodle baby.

In the years to follow, I would come to fully appreciate all of the services that

Roe v. Wade protest at the Plaza on Friday, June 24, 2022. Photo by Angela C. Bond

clinics offer. Not just preventive care, but check-ups, screenings, medications—this entire spectrum of health services that most people could not fiscally access through any other means.

As a 6’7” former football player, I started spending my Sundays outside of a clinic in south Los Angeles to use my size for the good of others. This facility was staffed by volunteers and only open on Sundays. By the unfortunate nature of its infrastructure, everything between the parking lot and the front door was public property. Which meant that plenty of people carrying horrific signs and chanting about the fires of Hell could physically interact with anyone entering or exiting the facility.

As a clinic escort, I got a brightly colored vest, and I would help ferry folks between a doctor’s office and their car—a situation most Americans will never have to encounter as they engage with, y’know, general healthcare. Legally, we had a policy of non-engagement, so no matter what a protester did, we had to just sorta pretend it away, and use our body as a shield to help people move through the fray.

There was no way to shout down the man dressed like Jesus that told me my father should have murdered me. There was no way to mute that dude that showed up every week to dangle “bloody” doll parts at women. There was no playlist to block out the actual children’s choir that was sent one day to—not sing for us—but simply throw rocks. Let ye whomst cast the first stone, etc., etc.

As someone who grew up Christian, the cruelty on display here week after week made me feel such shame for the people who thought this was the hill to die on. How does one square this kind of cartoonish abuse with love for each other?

[Not for nothing, but the reason that protesters were allowed such leeway was that the clinic’s parking lot was shared with a Chik-fil-A, which both encouraged their activity and were conveniently closed the one day a week the clinic operated.]

When I moved to Missouri, then-Governor Eric Greitens was doing a victory lap about shutting down almost every Planned Parenthood in Missouri. Oddly enough, without the free healthcare and testing they provided, rural Missouri experienced one of the worst syphilis outbreaks in modern times. Ah, such a win for our state. Much like electing Greitens as governor.

Roe v. Wade has fallen, and Missouri was the first state in the union to use its trigger laws to effectively ban abortion. Contraception is in the crosshairs. And as Judge Clarence Thomas has clearly stated, everything from gay marriage to privacy laws are next on the chopping block.

It would be easy to feel defeatist at a time like this. I remember how it felt to be a clinic escort with a non-intervention policy, who had an adult man screaming in his ear for hours on end while shaking red paint-covered Barbie dolls. I remember the fear of knowing the sheer unhinged dedication that these men brought in their need to control people’s bodies.

I remember knowing in my heart that they will not win.

They have not won. This is not how it ends.

You have no non-intervention policy holding you back.

Editor-in-Chief Brock Wilbur President & Chief Operating Officer Andrew Miller Director of Marketing & Promotions Jason Dockery Assistant Editor Steph Castor Community Manager Sarah Sipple Music Editor Nick Spacek Film Editor Abby Olcese Calendar Editor Thomas White Little Village Creative Services Jordan Sellergren House Designer Miroslav Pavlovic Contributing Writers Emily Cox, Liz Cook, Barb Shelly, Beth Lipoff, Michael Mackie, Kristen Thomas, Kala Elkinton, Michael Cripe, Jordan Baranowski, Tyler Shane, Adrian Torres, Patrick Moore, Justin Burnell, Sophia Johnson, Isaac Biehl, Caroline Rose Newman Contributing Photographers Zach Bauman, Chase Castor, Travis Young, Jim Nimmo, Chris Ortiz, Destiny Frack, Barry Meitler, Archana Sundar, Angela C. Bond, Anna Perry-Rushton Contributing Designers and Illustrators John Alvarez, Alex Peak, Jake Edmisten Editorial Interns Emeline Hutton, Hannah Scott, Lauren Textor

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COPYRIGHT The contents of The Pitch are Copyright 2022 by The Pitch LLC. No portion may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means without the express written permission of the publisher.

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Under his eye,

THE PITCH | August 2022 | THEPITCHKC.COM

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POLITICS

In Action WANT TO CREATE SYSTEMIC CHANGE? LOOK AT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

By Rachel Potucek For left-leaning folks in Kansas and Missouri, it’s hard not to feel anguish these days.

SCOTUS decisions, the Kansas constitutional amendment to ban abortion, anti-LGBTQ legislation and harassment, a frustrating national stage amid a backdrop of oppression that never left, and the climate crisis growing stronger—the list goes on and on.

For those of us desperate for big change, where do you start when everything feels hopeless? How do we create an equal and just America that has never really existed?

Pod Save America cohost and former Obama Administration communications director Dan Pfeiffer reminds us that “[Campaigns] are not won or lost on a single decision or a killer ad. Presidencies are not defined by a slogan. There is a harder, less entertaining, but much more informative way to understand politics: Focus less on the personalities and more on the structural impediments to progress.”

When thinking of the essence of Big Change, the primordial ooze that springs forth new ideas we want to see in the world, one word kept coming up in this story: Relationships.

While “relationships” may seem like a quaint answer to an earth on fire, relationships are a powerful human instinct and a glue for social structures. President Joe Biden’s strong network of Capitol Hill friendships are frequently touted as the key to his 2020 Presidential primary victory.

And relationships exist between individuals and organizations alike, creating coalitions of national and international weight.

Consider ALEC, the American Legislative Exchange Council, a coalition of private business interests and state Republican legislators. Private interests depend on ALEC’s Republican members to pass laws that lower corporate taxes, restrict voting rights, and weaken labor unions, for example.

We spoke with Kansas City metro area folks who know big change. Their daily work builds permanence through policies and elections, and they’ve shared insight into the ideas that fuel their power. They also lend insight into relationships: How relationships create bold change, and how to see yourself in them.

Terrence Wise, a Kansas City-area fast food worker and leader in Stand Up KC and the Missouri Workers Center, has worked for roughly a decade toward worker’s rights and many other causes. He helped pass a $15 minimum wage in Kansas City and nationally. Wise is an outspoken leader who

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THE PITCH | August 2022 | THEPITCHKC.COM

On Dec. 9, the city council for Kansas City unanimously passed one of the most aggressive “right to counsel” ordinances in the country to ensure any Kansas City resident facing an eviction has the right to an attorney, similar to public defenders in criminal cases. Courtesy Missouri Workers Center

has testified to the U.S. House and Senate, and was introduced to Barack Obama in the White House.

Wise’s first advice: Recognize your power.

“You hear about the ‘American dream’ and working hard, and folks think they are totally at fault and out of control of what happens to them,” Wise says. “You feel so alone as an individual. That’s the first barrier you gotta break through. You are doing your best. You are working hard to receive the American dream, but there are true factors that we have control over that you have to be informed about. In my universe, it was my wages and living conditions. I thought that’s just the way it was. I didn’t know you have more power when we come together, and you have the right to do that.”

Once we awaken to our power to create change, relationships are tools for action. Wise says, “[Relationships are] not only how you build power and activism, but real change. It always starts with having that conversation with folks you’re closest with and building power there.”

KC Tenants is an undeniable powerhouse in the metro and a national leader in renter’s rights. Tenants’ Right to Counsel, a new ordinance developed by KC Tenants and passed by the City Council this past winter, gives renters rare equal ground in eviction court. Kansas City is among a handful of cities to have adopted it.

Aaron, whose last name is withheld here for privacy reasons, is a leader with KC Tenants and has previously worked on national and local electoral campaigns. “If you look at history, the movements that have made real change, [it] was demanded by communities of people working together, not by one person setting out alone,” they say. “That’s what’s going to free us now. By working together, in relationship and community.”

KC Tenants often reiterates that “those closest to the problem are closest to the solution.” Dig a bit deeper, and it’s not a slogan. It’s a policy strategy rooted in relationships. Each person in KC Tenants has a different experience with housing, Aaron says, and when the group’s diverse perspectives are shared in trust, the group can pinpoint a precise mix of policy solutions that genuinely reflect the community.

“When you come at it from an individual ‘I’m gonna save the world’ perspective, it gets really savior-y,” says Aaron. “‘I have all the answers,’ and you don’t. No one has the answers for everyone, but we all know the answers for ourselves.”

Claire Reagan describes herself as an “engaged and active community member.”

As a young mom in Olathe, the Stoneman Douglas High School shooting in Parkland, Florida motivated her to knock doors for the first time. Since then, she has catapulted into campaign leadership roles, uplifting

city council and county candidates who are shaping a rapidly-changing Johnson County.

Reagan points to local relationships as the key to her journey. Her first doorknocks were for someone she says she personally knew and admired, a friend who first ran in 2016: Democratic Kansas State Senator Cindy Holscher.

“It just kind of snowballed,” says Reagan. “The campaigns that need the most help are the smallest races. Those people are regular human beings who live in your neighborhood. It could be a mom from your kids’ elementary school. You’re helping someone just like you.”

To build any relationship—in politics or otherwise—it helps to know yourself.

When thinking of your role in creating big change, you may want to think about the issues that resonate with you most, and what type of work you really want to do (or can realistically do).

Denise Brown, a former labor representative and a leader with KC Tenants, was raised by parents who were active in some of the biggest movements of the 1960s and 1970s: Vietnam War protests, the Civil Rights Movement, and the Black Panthers.

She’s been politically engaged for decades.

Her advice is to decide which issues are most important, focus on those issues, and then find folks who share that same passion.

“I was looking for a cause I felt com-

(Top) Protesters gather in the street at Country Club Plaza on Friday, June 24, 2022. Photo by Angela C. Bond (Bottom) A reproductive rights rally ensues at Mill Creek Park. Photo by Jim Nimmo

fortable with to bring about some kind of change,” Brown says. “[KC Tenants] was my answer. There are so many different issues, but this was one that I resonate with. It hits home.”

Each person interviewed for this piece declined to define themselves as “activists.”

There are differences between activism and organizing, or advocacy or engagement. While every role is crucial, they serve unique purposes and dovetail in different ways. Learning how these different roles can serve specific objectives within a larger movement is useful.

When embarking on new relationships, come as you are. Don’t assume you need to have all the answers. Just focus on getting to know the people around you. Brown says, “You don’t have to jump in. You can go listen and see if it’s a fit for you. A big deciding point for me was the people involved. Because the people in KC Tenants, they accept you. They’re very supportive.”

“The instinct is to hang out in the back and see what’s going on,” says Aaron. “That may be the right move in a situation, but another thing that I have never regretted once is having a conversation with someone who has been there a little longer.”

“If there’s an established culture,” says Reagan, “I always try to be very observant when I enter a new space. I will not put any pressure on myself to do anything but listen. If you enter a space, being there is

enough sometimes. Don’t put pressure on yourself to sign up. If it was a heavy lift to get in the door, that’s enough.”

In Kansas and Missouri, the road to change is long. The folks we spoke with are clear-eyed about the challenges ahead.

They encourage anyone in this work to prepare for a long journey. When asked how to maintain this work over time, folks interviewed for this piece made a point that systemic change never happens overnight.

“If you’re looking for instant gratification and success right away, it might not be for you, because that’s unrealistic,” says Brown. “Anything worth having will take effort, hard work, and strategizing. There are so many different issues, there are so many different doors to walk through, so many walls to knock down, so many minds to reset.”

Regardless of your role in big change, relationships allow your time and contribution to add up to a sum larger than its parts, so don’t be shy about meeting people, asking questions, and digging in for the long run.

“If you have the capacity of time, of finance, or a network of friends to invite into a campaign or candidate, and you’re not doing that, I would really ask, ‘Why not?’” says Reagan. “The house is on fire. And we all have some water. Some of us have a firehose, some of us have a bucket. All of it can help.”

THE PITCH | August 2022 | THEPITCHKC.COM

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POLITICS

Cruel Intentions MISSOURI KEEPS GOING BACK TO AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

By Barb Shelly Six years ago, Missouri handed a madman the keys to its governor’s office.

After things went wrong, the voters who elected Eric Greitens could at least claim some measure of plausible deniability. They had not known, back in November of 2016, about the woman he had terrorized in his basement. The allegations of spousal abuse and child abuse only surfaced recently.

Sure, Greitens The Candidate in 2016 came across as belligerent and ran some crazy ads of himself shooting a lake with a machine gun. But it was the year of Trump, and Republican voters were ready to embrace chaos.

Now, thanks to reluctant testimony from his former mistress and more current court filings and interviews from his ex-wife, we know more about Eric Greitens than most of us ever wanted to. The man is a danger—to his family, to his state, and possibly to himself.

And yet, like fleas on a long-haired dog, we can’t seem to get rid of the guy.

When Greitens left the governor’s office in May of 2018, after serving less than a year and a half, Republicans and Democrats in Jefferson City had reached bipartisan agreement that they never wanted to see him again. Or speak his name. Or even acknowledge his short time in office.

They had investigated lurid details about Greitens’ treatment of a woman with whom he’d had an extramarital affair before he took office. A different scandal stemmed from allegations that he’d stolen a donor list from a veterans’ charity to solicit political donations. Yet a third line of investigation involved questions about whether he was skating around state campaign disclosure laws.

But Greitens was anything but humbled by his forced resignation. He denied everything and blamed his fall from grace on a vast conspiracy. “The forces” drove him from office, he said, because he posed a threat to the greedy special interests.

In an interview in June this year with the Missouri Independent, Greitens’ ex-wife, Sheena Chestnut Greitens, said the disgraced former governor was unstable and violent before and after he left office, and blamed her for his resignation. He threatened suicide, and fearful aides tried to separate him from firearms. Yet, within days after leaving office, she said, he was plotting a political comeback.

Greitens formed a political action committee in 2021. When U.S. Senator Roy Blunt announced he was retiring from the job he’d held since 2010, Greitens jumped

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into the pool, along with quite the assortment of other politicians, wannabes, and attention seekers.

In a sane world, Greitens’ bid would have been deemed pathetic and gained no traction. But that’s not how things have worked out. Greitens found a donor with deep pockets, a shipping magnate named Richard Uihlein, to bankroll his campaign.

Even with the label “disgraced former governor” permanently attached to his name, he has polled at or near the top of the crowded GOP primary field for months.

None of this happened in secret. There are no surprise bombshells in the biography above. So it really begs the question: “What the hell, Missouri?”

We are the Show Me State. Greitens has shown us who he is—a buff action figure devoid of empathy and capable of cruelty, motivated only by a craven cocktail of narcissism and towering ambition.

“I describe him as an imperfect vessel,” says John Lamping, a former Republican state senator who supported Greitens when he ran for governor but says he won’t vote for him this time.

“He’s got all these serious flaws in his character that have come to the fore, and a case can be made that he really doesn’t believe what he says.”

But Lamping gets why Greitens appeals to some voters.

“What he’s saying is really where the energy is in the country right now, certainly on the Republican side,” he says.

Greitens’ current campaign, like his 2016 run for governor, postures him as a fearless crusader ready to take on the corrupt establishment, whether it be Democrats, or GOP Senate leader Mitch McConnell, or any of the RINOs, those “Republicans in Name Only” that Greitens went gun-hunting for in a recent campaign ad.

Lamping tells me that Republican voters feel let down by their own party’s establishment as much as by the Democrats.

“They’re looking for someone who understands their issues,” he says. “They just know that what has been offered to them has not served them well.”

Other leading Republicans in the Senate primary, like Congresswoman Vicky Hartzler and state Attorney General Eric Schmitt, won’t speak out against McConnell and the establishment because they’re too ingrained in the establishment, Lamping says.

So, if you’re looking to own the libs, shout “Fuck Joe Biden,” and settle a few scores with the RINOs, Eric Greitens is your guy. He offers no solutions, but he’s always ready for a fight.

THE PITCH | August 2022 | THEPITCHKC.COM

Eric Greitens addresses the media and shoots at a lake. (Top) Photo by Madeline Carter

Amid the barely-contained hysteria from politicos from both parties about the prospect of Greitens as the next senator from Missouri, it’s been pointed out to me that typically fewer than 20% of registered Republicans vote in primary elections in the state. And recent polls have shown Greitens with a base of support of around 25% in a crowded field.

So it’s inaccurate to say that a groundswell of Missourians, or even Missouri Republicans, actually want Greitens to represent them in the U.S. Senate. But it’s completely accurate to say that the sliver of Republicans who show up to vote on Aug. 2 could put him a breath away from accomplishing that.

Barring a Hail Mary campaign stint from a neophyte Democrat or a long-shot independent candidate, a Greitens primary win would open up the awful possibility that Missouri could be represented on the national stage by the pugilistic Greitens and the sneering Josh Hawley. How did a single state even produce two such reprehensible characters?

As aghast as Democrats are at the prospect of “Senator Greitens,” it’s the “establishment” Republicans, particularly those supporting Schmitt, who are working hardest to stop that from happening.

A PAC called Show Me Values, bankrolled in large part by St. Louis billionaire Rex Sinquefield, is flooding the state with attack ads, making sure conservative voters know about the allegations of abuse that Sheena Greitens has made as part of her child custody case against her ex-husband.

More ads, possibly from multiple

sources, are reportedly on the way. Greitens is every oppo researcher’s dream assignment.

Donald Trump has kept the state’s political establishment in suspense for months. His endorsement could seal the deal for either Greitens or Schmitt.

[Trump has already said Hartzler “doesn’t have what it takes,” and he won’t endorse her. Apparently, Hartzler’s anti-LGBTQ+ platform isn’t enough for the anointer.]

While a loss for Greitens in the primary would remove the immediate threat of seeing him sworn in as a senator, there is no scenario in which this story ends well.

Greitens, remember, is the stain that Missouri can’t get rid of. And, right now, a seat in the U.S. Senate is about the only job he has any hope of landing.

Though he still identifies himself as a Navy Seal, Greitens no longer has a role in the Navy. Book publishers aren’t interested in the memoirs of another disgraced politician. A simple Google search by a prospective employer is going to turn up a litany of reasons for why this applicant is a risk to even flip burgers in a diner kitchen.

Desperate people do desperate things. And we know that Greitens responds badly to adversity.

“When his political future is at risk, he becomes erratic, unhinged, coercive, and threatening,” Sheena Greitens told a Boone County, Missouri judge in a sworn statement.

If that’s the case, how much more dangerous will he become when his political future is over?

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THE PITCH | August 2022 | THEPITCHKC.COM

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CULTURE

Effing It Up BIRDIE HANSEN’S WICKS & POLITICS

By Brock Wilbur To Birdie Hansen, becoming a self-made dipped-wax magnate a la Jan from The Office was not part of the plan.

“When the sourdough phase of the pandemic was winding down in summer of 2020, I needed something to do with my hands and my brain,” she says. “I used to work at Anthropologie so I have burned like a million candles in my life. This started as a pandemic hobby, then turned into an obsession of testing different fragrances, different wicks, different waxes. This was just a little arts and crafts thing for adults that I could have to keep from going insane.”

She began making a few candles for herself, branding them to moments from her life or small gestures of goodwill in the world.

“My first batch was called Warm Hugs.

It’s like a sweet tobacco amber and vanilla fragrance. It smells the way a warm hug feels. And there’s a lot of nostalgia factor in there. People smell it and say, ‘Oh my gosh, this reminds me of my grandpa, because he smoked a pipe’” As she shared images of her batches on her (once modest) social media, friends started asking if they could buy them, but Birdie insisted that they just come by and pick ‘em up for free. Then it started to spiral in scope and scale. When people started insisting that they give her money in exchange, it went overnight from a personal project to a small business.

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So what is an Effing Co. candle, and how did it lead to Birdie being voted “Best Local Maker” in The Pitch’s “Best of 2021” issue?

“I’m biased,” she says, “But I think most candles, especially novelty candles, have absolutely garbage ingredients. I probably don’t talk about the ingredient story enough, but every ingredient we choose is meant to be something you can feel good about burning in your home (biodegradable/vegan/sustainable/USA sourced wax, phthalate/paraben/cruelty-free fragrances, and FSC-certified wicks). Our candles are more fragrant than other brands to help make your house smell incredible, and our slow-burning wax will burn for around 50 hours per 7 oz. jar. Our single-ply wood wicks are all-natural. All wood used to manufacture our wooden wicks is purchased in the USA and only from mills that maintain an FSC certification and practice environmentally friendly forestry standards. All our discarded wick materials are composted.”

What does that mean to the layperson?

“If these candles were a musician, they’d be Phoebe Bridgers,” she says. “They’re not

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for everybody, but when they’re for you?

They’re for you.”

And then there are the cheeky names.

“When I was a little girl, I thought the coolest job in the whole world was naming nail polishes, so getting to create the names for the candles is a dream come true,” Birdie says. “One of my favorite scents—Rooftop Margaritas—is named after a night out during a girl’s trip to Mexico and plenty of blood orange margaritas. The scent reminds me of dancing on the table with your friends after one too many drinks.”

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Bottling up a slice of life doesn’t always mean bottling up the good things.

Last September, Birdie found out her mother died. “She’d actually died 18 months prior,” Birdie says. “She passed away and they couldn’t get in touch with the family, and if you don’t tell anyone where to look, no one goes looking.”

In recent months, her long-ailing cat Luna also passed away. As life starts to pile on, running a one-woman show becomes even more difficult.

“You’re at a pop-up and realize that you should just be at home with your cat, but you’re in a slow season and the business can’t fall apart. The next morning, your cat is dead on the kitchen floor. Thirty minutes later, you get a call that 450 pounds of wax and fragrances are about to be delivered.

I’m sitting in the parlor, holding my dead cat, while my husband and our neighbors are trying to deal with pallet delivery, up the steps of a 126-year-old house, and you don’t get to pick and choose when you fall apart. You just have to keep running your business, and you have to keep living your life. And sometimes that hurts a lot.”

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“I grew up in a family that very much believed that little girls should be seen and not heard,” Birdie says. “I grew up with all of these thoughts and ideas and opinions just stuffed inside me. And they had nowhere to go. So, now when I have an opinion, they’re big. I think people want women to have small opinions. I’d rather be seen as an asshole instead of not being seen at all.”

At some point, Effing Candles pivoted hard into a lane far outside of rooftop drinks and old leather. What follows is an answer to a question no one has ever asked: How politically radicalizing can you make a smell?

After the Jan. 6 insurrection, Birdie— like most of America—was simply in awe of what a dirtbag Josh Hawley had acted on

THE PITCH | August 2022 | THEPITCHKC.COM

Birdie Hansen’s candlemaking operation has outgrown her kitchen. Photo by Travis Young

the national stage.

“I had this orange creamsicle candle that no one had pre-ordered,” Birdie explains. “I was printing labels at home and I thought it would be funny to make a candle that says ‘Josh Hawley Sucks’ and just post it online. I printed 12 labels and took a picture with my phone and just went on with my day. When I came back to Twitter, I had hundreds of likes and retweets, and my direct messages were tons of people asking how they could buy one. I panicked because there was no way I could fill these orders. I set up a pre-order page, and so many people wanted it that—that’s the point this went from a cute little hobby to a full-time job.”

As a publication, it brings us no pleasure to say this, but, “Thank you, Josh Hawley.”

“I had another fragrance sitting around that smelled like Chai, macadamia, and coconut,” she adds. “It smelled to me like sunscreen and bad decisions. And Ted Cruz had just gone on vacation in Mexico instead of keeping people in his state from freezing to death. So, the candle Cancun Cruz was born. It went viral on TikTok and… you know how Kelis’ milkshake brought all the boys to the yard? My Ted Cruz smell brought all the Democrats to the yard.”

Earlier this year, as it became obvious Roe v. Wade would be under attack from the Supreme Court, Effing Candles released a cause-based scent (with notes of eucalyptus, spearmint, and cucumber) that Birdie knew would change how she did business— and lived—moving forward. Ahead of its release, she hired a lawyer, stopped doing pick-up orders from her home, and had her address scrubbed from the internet.

The label reads “Abortion is Healthcare.” A large portion of each sale supports Planned Parenthood Great Plains. For a candle, it was not received warmly by certain groups, especially after it was retweeted by high-profile personalities like Monica Lewinsky. And then the death threats started pouring in.

“We used to have a tagline about being luxury candles with a sense of humor,” Birdie says. “But now I guess sometimes we aren’t making people laugh.”

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Can a candle make a difference? This city seems to think so. Birdie’s operation has such high demand that it has finally expanded beyond her kitchen and into a storefront at 3703 Main St. “Our house has, since late last year, been unusable. At any given point in time, there are 1,500 glass jars, 4,000 lids, 500 pounds of wax, and 16 to 18 fragrances.

Our kitchen is where we make everything and our dining room is where we keep direct-to-consumer stuff. Without the air fryer having space in the kitchen, I think we would starve.”

With Effing’s compound rate of success and expansion, even the Main Street location won’t last them long.

“I can do the projections,” Birdie explains. “In five years, there will be a warehouse. There will be full-time employees.

So many other products that reflect our values. We’re currently up around 460% as a business, year over year. The numbers feel imaginary. But there’s so much going on. There’s another election in two years, and local elections long before that. There’s so much happening to people legally right now. There’s so much good we can do at now o’clock.”

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On the day this story went to press, Birdie arrived at her store to discover that it had been broken into during the night. “I wanted a space that was a little open and airy, but this is ridiculous,” she posted on social media, captioning a photo of all the glass windows fully smashed to bits on the street.

When asked if they took anything from the new shop, Birdie responds, “They didn’t take any candles. Honestly, I’m most hurt by that. Why wouldn’t you take a candle?

They’re really good candles!”

Sweeping up the glass from inside her unairconditioned studio while cracking jokes, you can see why it would be impossible to stop Birdie Hansen from being out here, constantly Effing it up.

THE PITCH | August 2022 | THEPITCHKC.COM

13

CULTURE

All Dressed Up And Nowhere To Hoe AMERICAN GIRL MEMES AS AN ACT OF REBELLION Lauren Textor Missouri teenager Mikayla Brainard has a larger Instagram following than the entire population of her hometown, thanks to her frenzied takes on a collection of historical dolls.

The 19-year-old Rockhurst sophomore from Lebanon, Missouri is going viral by partaking in the American Girl doll meme revolution.

Brainard’s Instagram (@gaynie.holland) content is based on the dolls she has loved since childhood. She transitioned her page from a dining hall review blog to an American Girl meme account in early 2021.

Her debut post? Four of the company’s male dolls lined up in front of a plain blue background to mimic the cover of Weezer’s 1994 album.

Her account didn’t immediately take off, but due to her consistent posts and creative content, she’s seeing steady growth.

At the time of this article, she had just over 20,000 followers. Brainard credits this in part to her marketing studies.

“Being able to identify my target audience and gauge what my followers are going to respond well to has been an integral part of my account’s growth,” Brainard says.

But why American Girl dolls?

For Brainard, it’s a way to maintain a link with her grandmother, who bought her her first American Girl doll when she was 5.

“My grandma got me all of my dolls,” Brainard explains. “We lived far apart and didn’t see each other often, so the dolls were a way that we could connect. When we did see each other, we would spend hours browsing through the AG catalogs, talking about which doll had the cutest outfit or the most interesting story.”

What’s most surreal to Brainard is that her creations have become a source of laughter among people she’ll never meet.

Her sense of humor is absurdist but perfectly aligned with Gen Z’s universal experiences and general nihilism.

On a picture of a discarded doll with its arm separated from its body, Brainard pasted lyrics from Radiohead’s “Creep:” “I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul.”

Instagram user @

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sadieivey.mp3 responded, “My week was boring until you posted.”

On May 20, 2022, Brainard posted a picture of a doll in 19th century clothing with the words “I think my brain is rotting in places” over it. User @zdizzlestar wrote, “Idk who u r but u Get me.”

The account has even garnered attention from celebrities like Ricky Montgomery (whose song “Mr. Loverman” gained popularity through TikTok) and “Night Shift” singer Lucy Dacus. Each reposted one of Brainard’s memes on their Instagram stories.

These reposts gave Brainard’s account further exposure, given that Montgomery clocks in at 325,000 followers and Dacus at 198,000.

Brainard’s Instagram analytics show that between June 28 and July 4, she reached 1.1 million users on the platform, and engaged with 165,000. Her reach was up 279% compared to only one week before, with over 1,000 new followers to show for it.

Brainard sees the rising popularity of American Girl memes as a symptom of Gen Z nostalgia and political frustration. The dolls are meant to represent relatable everygirls who have overcome their circumstances, and their initially sanitized backstories are being given a new spin by accounts like Brainard’s.

Kitt Kitteridge, one of the most wellknown dolls and one of Brainard’s personal favorites, has a story set during the Great Depression. Her father loses his job and her parents take in boarders to make ends meet. Kit has to grapple with poverty, and—though the doll itself is $115—the message is familiar to young adults who have lived through their own recession.

“It’s something we all loved when we were kids,” Brainard says. “But I also think American Girl dolls have always been a little politically charged, you know—politics have always been ingrained into their stories.

Now teens are really politically aware, and I think it’s really easy to integrate

THE PITCH | August 2022 | THEPITCHKC.COM

Growing up in Lebanon, Missouri, Mikayla Brainard’s favorite dolls were Kit Kitteridge and Lanie Holland.

Courtesy Mikayla Brainard

the two.”

When Roe v. Wade was overturned June 24, Brainard reposted one of her most popular memes, which originally featured an American Girl doll, Lea Clark of St. Louis, with the words “They hate to see a bitch from Missouri winning” over it. In reaction to the reversal of the landmark case that made abortions safe and legal in the U.S., Brainard rewrote it to read, “They hate to see a bitch from Missouri have access to safe abortions.”

Brainard uses American Girl dolls as an avenue of content creation, expression, and comedy, but she also says she recognizes the faults of the corporation. “I only want to contribute to the conversation when I feel like I have something meaningful and productive to say,” Brainard says.

In late 2020, American Girl doll sales went up 12% after a steep decline in 2019.

Despite its increase in sales, the company is paying its workers less.

The American Federation of Labor and Congress of Industrial Organizations has a bone to pick with American Girl’s parent company, Mattel. According to a 2018 press release from AFL-CIO, Mattel’s average employees are Malaysian manufacturing workers who make $6,271 per year. The CEO-to-employee pay ratio was 4,987:1—as of then, the highest of any Standard and Poor’s 500 company.

The Institute for Policy Studies echoes the excess of Mattel CEO Ynon Kreiz’s paycheck. Even fans of the dolls note the inaccessible cost of the products that must be purchased separately.

“I definitely agree that the views they’re

spreading with their dolls do not align with the company’s actions and values,” Brainard says. “They try to empower girls through all of the dolls and the characters and stuff, but they’re not doing that within their own company, which I think is really messed up.

If you’re going to preach something to people, you should be doing the same thing.”

Brainard sees a direct example of this hypocrisy in the case of the doll Nellie O’Malley from the Edwardian Era. “Nellie, she was forced to work in factories when she was a kid,” Brainard explains.

“And [Mattel] is like, ‘Oh, yeah, it’s so bad to have poor working conditions and not pay people enough.’ But then they do that. So I think it’s a little ironic.”

Mattel made the dolls that became the jumping off point for Brainard’s account and many others, but the memes taking the Internet by storm are far from the wholesome, hyper-commercialized content on the brand’s official social media accounts.

Brainard says her lifeline has been other online content creators.

“I interact with other accounts almost every day,” Brainard says. “I had a bit of trouble transitioning from high school to college. I felt quite isolated for the majority of my first year. Starting a meme page and joining the American Girl Instagram community was amazing. Through the community, I have been able to talk to so many kind, talented, and hilarious people. Larger accounts would share my posts to their stories, comment on my posts, and send me nice DMs. Without their support, my account wouldn’t be as big as it is today. I try to do the same for newer creators.”

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15

CULTURE

“One night I went into a club and saw this girl doing stuff on a pole, and, honestly, time stopped for me.”

High Flying Birds LAURA MARTIN ELEVATES POLE DANCING IN KC WITH ALCHEMY SPACE

By Hannah Scott Every athlete has their gear, and for Laura Martin of Alchemy Space Pole and Fitness, seven-inch heels are the last step in prepping for her game.

Located in the River Market, Alchemy Space is an exposed brick studio with windows overlooking the city and light pouring in, creating a comfortable environment for self-exploration and body positivity.

This is exactly the goal Martin had for her studio when coming back to Kansas City.

Born and raised in the city, Martin spent over 16 years in San Diego dancing full-time, before coming back to Kansas City during COVID and realizing that she could keep her passion as a job while educating others. For Martin, Alchemy Space is a realized dream that has allowed her to create an environment for people to explore their sensual side and also push their limits.

“I feel like people think that to be legitimate, we have to deny parts of who we are and our sexuality,” says Martin. “The point of this container, of this studio, is to create a

Laura Martin strikes an ethereal pose.

(Opposite) Martin flips the switch at Alchemy Space Pole and Fitness.

Courtesy Laura Martin

safe space where people can re-integrate with that part of themselves and lose that story that we’re constantly being told, especially as women.”

Martin started up in the scene as a stripper and finds beauty in her background. Although she knows some people may judge her, she also knows that most individuals actually have little information about what goes on in clubs as well as what the people inside are like.

Some people love writing, some people love film, and just like any other pas-

sion, Laura loved pole dancing from the first moment she set her eyes on it.

“One night I went into a club and saw this girl doing stuff on a pole, and, honestly, time stopped for me,” says Martin. “I was like, ‘That is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, I have to do it, I want to be the best.’”

Martin wants to invite intimacy and drop the stigma that has been so heavily placed around dancers, strippers, and anyone who wants to take part.

“In all honesty, it’s less about what actually goes on inside those clubs and more about the rumors people hear,” says Martin.

“We need to change the way that people talk about it because there’s a lot of misunderstanding and dehumanization in the language that gets used about those places. Generally, it’s not actually the places or the people inside of them, it’s more of what people say on the outside.”

In California, Martin spent most of her time training and dancing in different competitions, gaining the title of American Pole Champion in 2011. She was also one of ten who were chosen worldwide to compete for the world title of International Pole Champion in 2013. When not in San Diego, she traveled the world, performing and training others in the art as one of two individuals who traveled to China and performed pole for the first time in a more competitive circuit.

At the beginning of each intro class, she gives a brief background on the history of pole dancing and its origin to help students understand the root of the art. As pole dancing has become more accessible and popularized through social media, Martin has often found that people try to erase much of the original meaning behind the practice to make it more palatable. During the pandemic, pole dancing became more explored as a way to stay fit at home. It also took hold on TikTok and Instagram. Through these mediums, it has

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THE PITCH | August 2022 | THEPITCHKC.COM

CULTURE become easier to explore the activity, but also allows misconceptions to form.

“A lot of people that came to pole dancing after it became more mainstream were like, ‘Oh, I’m not a stripper,’” says Martin. “As somebody who used to be, I was really afraid to talk about it, but I got over it because I realized they’re wrong.

People want to act like it’s just exercise, but you know and you can see that they feel a sense of something empowering because there’s a truth to that.”

As the classes have grown, Martin has seen people come together to build a community and build up themselves.

In her years as a stripper, she says she learned lessons that were fundamental to her growth as an individual and she can see her students beginning to come to the same realizations.

“Back when I was dancing there was still kind of an ideal of, ‘Oh you should look like this or your boobs should look like that,’ but what I learned in the club is that none of that was true,” says Martin. “When I walked in, I saw women of all shapes and sizes, but the one that always stood out to

the crowd was the one that had an actual smile and whose energy was just so warm and genuine. She was just beauty, and I had this moment of realization that our uniqueness is what makes us who we are.”

Every few months after all of the lessons and practice, Martin puts on showcases for her students at the studio to allow their hard work to be seen. Alchemy Space’s Summer Showcase will function as their one-year anniversary celebration and will take place Aug. 6.

“I’ve had people come up and tell me, ‘We didn’t know what we needed here,’” says Martin. “They’ve told me that they feel more alive and their confidence has grown exponentially. They get to bring back a piece of themselves that they had just kind of forgotten or pushed away.”

If you’re interested in giving this a try, don’t let your preconceived notions stop you from walking through that studio door.

“I always tell people it’s not as bad as you think,” says Martin. “Come to a class and put on the shoes. You’ll be happy that you did.”

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Shuckboi Island

FOOD & DRINK

Maine Oysters, Ipswich clam dip, and a promising cheeseburger at Earl’s Premier. Photos by Zach Bauman

EARL’S PREMIER IS DESERVEDLY AT CAPACITY By Liz Cook High on the list of important American institutions—somewhere between Monster Jam and the Federal Reserve—is the neighborhood restaurant.

What makes a good “neighborhood restaurant” is a moving target, but the genre has some defined contours. It should have a small dining room and a tidy menu. It should be embedded in a mostly residential neighborhood, with a vibe and price point to match it. It should be nice but not fussy— the kind of place where you can wander in off the street without too much gussying up.

That feel was exactly what co-owners Cory Dannehl and Todd Schulte were going for with Earl’s Premier, a casual seafood-focused restaurant and bar that opened at the corner of 59th and Holmes this May. “We wanted it to feel like we’ve been here 30 years,” says Dannehl.

In that, they’ve succeeded.

That’s no small feat given that Earl’s predecessor, the beloved Pakistani restaurant Chai Shai, had operated out of that corner spot for more than a decade. The streetside patio looks the same as it did in its Chai Shai days, but the dining room is unrecognizable, reconfigured, and steeped in a kind of breezy coastal Americana. Everything looks weathered and time-worn, from the zinc-and-walnut bar, to the faded American flags, to the thrift store-grade paintings of old wooden ships.

The space was built out by John O’Brien, whose firm Hammer Out Design has hammered out some of KC’s most iconic restaurant interiors. For Earl’s, that work began with tearing out the dropped ceiling, making the narrow dining room feel much brighter and less claustrophobic.

Another smart move: tucking the raw bar by the streetside window, where the light transforms it into a still-life painting.

On any given night, you’ll see dozens of oysters nestled into an icy shadowbox, arranged in neat rows like a butterfly collec-

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tion. Beside them, a hotel pan brims with lemons and ice and sweaty cans of Victoria. Two shuckers hover over it with hands buried inside dish towels; their knife slips, growing surer and faster with each visit.

Welcome to Earl’s Premier, where the servers are young and bubbly, the dishwasher looks like Kurt Vonnegut, and there’s an 80% chance you’ll see someone wearing jorts while drinking champagne. The beer is cold. The bathroom is colder. Everything else is bustling and warm in multiple senses of the word. In short, Earl’s feels lived in and alive.

That might have a little to do with how many people are packed inside. With only 38 seats (a patio can seat an additional 30), the restaurant is almost always full and loud.

I staggered my three visits across different days and times, and never hit a service that could credibly be described as “slow.” In fact, for the first time in nearly seven years of reviewing restaurants, I wasn’t able to make a reservation for any of my dinner visits—Earl’s was booked up for a month solid.

That doesn’t mean getting a table is impossible. The restaurant holds about a third of its tables for walk-ins, and bar seats turn over relatively quickly. The patio is firstcome, first-served, too.

Oysters are the main draw here, and they’re about as fresh as you can get in KC. The majority are flown in overnight from Maine Oyster Co. three to four times a week.

The oysters on a half shell ($22 per half-dozen; you can mix and match varieties) arrive with lemon wedges, cocktail sauce, and a vial of housemade mignonette. But the best accoutrement is an off-menu secret: A horseradish granita modeled after a version served at Eventide Oyster Co. in Portland, Maine. The fluffy, frozen flakes are good enough to eat with a spoon, but the real benefit is that they melt into the oyster’s liquor, adding a punch of flavor without changing the texture. (Earl’s also offers an excellent hot sauce granita made with R.J. Iguanas Everyday Hot Sauce.)

To complement Earl’s oysters, Chef

THE PITCH | August 2022 | THEPITCHKC.COM

Todd Schulte has developed a small, focused menu of fresh and fried seafood, with a couple of options for the shellfish-averse.

The crudo (market price) changes daily, but it’s an elegant bite worth betting on—on a recent visit, I received some delicate ahi tuna brightened with a sweet chili glaze.

The herby guacamole ($16) tasted similarly fresh and light, dressed with morsels of blue crab and thin slices of serrano chili.

I had high hopes for a premier shrimp cocktail ($19), but the giant shrimp in my order were overcooked, making the price point (and the shrimp) tough to swallow.

Similarly, I liked but didn’t love the Ipswich clam dip ($15), which had a light, airy texture but needed more “Baltimore curry”— Schulte’s slang for Old Bay. The GBD (Golden, Brown, and Delicious) Oysters ($20) were an unexpected highlight. The fried oysters remained plush and juicy, with a perfectly crisp breading and a tangy remoulade. The name might be goofy, but it’s earned.

You can choose between fried oysters or shrimp on Earl’s New Orleans-style po’boy ($18). The fried shrimp on the po’boy I ordered were tender and the breading crisp. But the Farm to Market bun fell apart, likely a function of how it was served. Instead of a hinge cut, the roll was fully bisected, with its bottom far thinner than its top. The sandwich comes with a cup of fresh French fries, which aren’t made in house but are excellent nonetheless.

Few problems in life can’t be mitigated by hot fries, cold ketchup, and a tall glass of champagne—sparkling wine lovers are well represented here. Earl’s has a smart wine list overseen by Director of Beverage and Hospitality Sarah Hogan. But drinkers can also choose from a few draft beers (Tank 7, Anchor Steam) and canned lagers, or a handful of summery cocktails (including a couple of non-alcoholic options).

The most popular drink here is the frozen gin and tonic ($13), which is nearly always frothing away in two slushy machines behind the bar. To my palate, it tastes

more like a frozen gimlet than a G&T—the Schweppes tonic gets a little buried in the fresh lime juice—but it’s delicious in its own right.

The cocktail list offers something to appeal to every drinker, from the round and lightly smoky Xs and Os ($14), to the refreshing and subtly funky Rosehip Spritz ($13). But my favorite was the Caught in the Rain ($14), a blend of Jamaican rum and pineapple amaro, fat-washed with caramelized white chocolate. It’s a cocktail with surprising balance and body, and it’s one of the best drinks I had this month.

EARL’S PREMIER

651 East 59th St, 816-255-3600 earlspremier.com Hours: Tuesday–Thursday 11 a.m. - 9 p.m.

Friday–Saturday 11 a.m. - 10 p.m.

Prices: Starters and small plates: $9–$22 Entrees: $18–$26 Cocktails: $12–$15 Best bet: Double up with oysters from the raw bar (ask for the horseradish granita) and the fried “GBD” oysters while you sip a “Caught in the Rain.”

FOOD & DRINK

The menu is identical for lunch and dinner, but Earl’s also offers a few rotating nightly specials. Wednesday is steak night; Saturday is a shrimpboil. Those specials can be a little more economical. On a recent visit, the Tuesday taco special ($12) featured two generously stuffed chicken tinga tacos on nicely browned Yoli flour tortillas, with plenty of garlic crema, cabbage, and fresh-pineapple-and-cilantro salsa.

The pricing at Earl’s isn’t unusual for the neighborhood or cuisine, but a couple of the dishes don’t yet live up to the price tag. For $18, you want a cheeseburger to be incredible. Right now, it’s incredibly promising. On composition alone, the burger was near-perfect—a thick patty with the textbook ratio of shredded lettuce to pickles to cheese hat to bun. But it was ordered medium and arrived well done, and the beef wasn’t as fatty as I’d hoped for.

The EP Chicken ($26) was also slightly overcooked, drying out the breast meat of the brined Red Bird Farms bird. Unsurprisingly, this made it difficult to cut with a butter knife (my chicken was not served with any other cutlery). Still, I’d give the kitchen some grace and order it again—the skin was crisp, bronzed, and stippled with peri peri seasoning, lending the meat a blush of heat and a barely perceptible sweetness.

Schulte developed the desserts at Earl’s as well, and they’re worth ordering. The best pick right now is the “Atlantic Beach Pie in a jar” ($10), which layers a crisp saltine cracker crust with a sunny lemon custard and a thick head of whipped cream. But the silky vanilla soft serve ($5) is another fun and fine way to end a meal.

Service across all three of my visits was casual and personable. Food and cocktails came out at a brisk pace, but no one appeared rushed or overwhelmed; the servers and shuckbois always seemed to find time to chat with the drinkers and diners. For that reason, the bar seats at Earl’s are the best in the house.

“I’m still learning,” the shucker told a couple seated next to me at the bar one night. But he seemed delighted to share what he already knows.

As a restaurant, Earl’s is still learning and evolving, too. Despite the oldschool feel, the restaurant has only been in Brookside for three months, not 30 years. As of this writing, the restaurant is closed on Sundays, but Dannehl and Schulte plan to add a Sunday rosé brunch. They’re working on closing up the roof on the patio, too, to make access less weather-dependent (and to open up a few more tables for reservations).

For now, Earl’s is already a premier place for fresh oysters, great drinks, unstuffy service, and immaculate vibes.

It ain’t perfect. But it might be perfect for the neighborhood.

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The Sicilian at Jovito’s Italian Café & Deli

BY JORDAN BARANOWSKI Jovito’s Italian Café & Deli 7408 Wornall Road Kansas City, MO 64114

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Overlooking this little spot in Waldo would be a big mistake. Jovito’s Italian Café & Deli boasts an impressive selection of Italian deli favorites including Italian beef Photo by Jordan Baranowski sandwiches, Muffalini paninis, Chicago-style hot dogs, and more. For your money, nothing on their menu can top the Sicilian sandwich.

The Sicilian is simplicity done to absolute perfection. It starts with an Italian breaded steak, pan-fried to a deep golden brown. The steak is the perfect thickness so it stays nice and tender, and the breading is crisp, crunchy, and full of punch from the seasoning. It’s topped with tomato sauce, mozzarella, and provolone—all served on a fresh Italian roll. After one bite, you’ll struggle to set it down before the entire thing is gone.

Pro tip: Don’t forget about the pickle. The small hit of acid is key to fully enjoying this beast of a sandwich. Jovito’s wraps it in foil and places it under the paper in the takeout container with any sandwich you order. Finish with a cannoli or tiramisu for a well-rounded meal.

The DILLIGAF

at 9th and State

BY KALA ELKINTON 9th and State 1717 W. 9th Street Kansas City, MO 64101

On the quieter side of the West Bottoms, cocktail lovers can find a memorable take on the traditional pisco sour at 9th and State. But it wasn’t always calm in this corner of the city. The century-old building was once part of “the wettest block in the world.” Since prohibition, the building itself has been home to several busi- Photo by Kala Elkinton nesses and just reopened a year ago to serve up 9th and State’s artful cocktails, wine, and beer with a side of ping-pong and the occasional live show.

The pisco sour, lovingly called The DILLIGAF, is an innovation on the classic mix of pisco brandy and lime juice. Unlike the traditional recipe, it uses cascara’s fruity sweetness and raspberry to balance the acidity of the lime. Cascara is derived from the coffee plant but gives off a dried fruit profile when brewed. Flipped with a frothy egg white, this cocktail is a delightful summer refresher.

The DILLIGAF is part of the “Cocktails for Good” menu, with 10% of drink sales supporting the Huntington’s Disease Society of America, so you can feel good about ordering a round, or two.

THE PITCH | August 2022 | THEPITCHKC.COM

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FOOD & DRINK

Tough As Nails KEEPING THE SHIP (AND THE RIND) AFLOAT WITH AMANDA DEJARNETT

By Justin Burnell Jay Sanders and I raced to J. Rieger Distillery’s The Hey! Hey! Club to catch the last hour of Hey Gurl Hey—a one-night celebration of women bartenders benefitting the Rose Brooks Center. We descended into the dark lounge off Guinotte Ave. The sharp gleam of Mad Men-replica desk lamps reflected on rich leather couches and faux marble. Behind the bar, backlit bottles bathed the team in a halo. The crowd was familiar. Hospitality pros turned up for a showcase of bartenders representing the future of Kansas City cocktail culture: Swordfish Tom’s Bar Lead Simone Mele, Crossroads Hotel Bar Manager Liz Ramirez, Corvino Head Bartender Hannah Jones, and—at the center of it all—Amanda DeJarnett, current supervisor at The Hey! Hey! Club.

Her steel cocktail shaker staccatoed from across the room and through the din as she commanded the well. She spotted us, grinned, and held up a finger. Amid the posh sofas and portraits of serious men, we waited. In a moment, she appeared—a corndog in one hand, and a bottle of mezcal in the other. She proceeded to place the corndog on Jay’s lips and pour mezcal down it. She was in control while his mouth hung wide open.

DeJarnett laughed and rushed back to her station.

As last head bartender of Manifesto, opening member of Drastic Measures, and supervisor of The Hey! Hey! Club, DeJarnett has amassed an impressive resume. She’s become the kind of bartender patrons follow. Even in the grips of grueling services, broken equipment, and flooded floors, she’s sure to be there cracking jokes and having a good time.

But it hasn’t always been so glamorous. DeJarnett started out behind a reception desk in Westport. “You could not have a worse bartending shift than one of my best days managing a Westport hotel. I had machetes pulled on me. It seemed like there was blood and shit everywhere, all the time,” she says with a laugh.

She was eventually on a first name basis with emergency dispatch workers, became a near-expert in elevator maintenance, and even got her first taste of mixology. One fateful day, the hotel’s bartender was a no-show, so DeJarnett stepped up. “I was like, ‘This is way better. People tip me in twenties and I don’t have to clean anybody’s shit. I just make a margarita and they think that’s extra,’” she says.

Her stint at The Doughnut Lounge wasn’t much less taxing. There may have been fewer biohazards, but she’d often find

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herself closing the bar at 3 a.m. just to return red-eyed (and hungover) at 6 a.m. to sling fresh coffee for fresh faces on their way to work.

After months watching and waiting for a post, it came—good timing and a job DeJarnett could possibly love. Manifesto needed a bartender. Despite feeling unqualified for a James Beard Award-nominated cocktail program, she emailed General Manager Jay Sanders.

“I sent Jay a piece of literature—a plea to work there, and he pulls it out to blackmail me at any chance given,” she says.

“And when I interviewed, he said, ‘It’s shitty. You’re gonna get paid no more than what you already make. You will work way more than you already do. It’s 100 degrees down here. It’s in a 100-year-old basement, so it’s really fucking gross. And we’re gonna put you on the floor for months, and when you’re good enough, we’ll maybe let you behind this bar.’ And I was like, ‘Absolutely.’”

Service at Manifesto was a knuckle-busting 14-hour shift, entertaining patrons and selling thousands of dollars in premium cocktails at wrist-breaking speed while keeping track of tickets, special orders, and guest preferences. But she loved it and thrived in the freedom this required dedication afforded. Now sturdy on her bar legs, DeJarnett began dissecting the ways different cocktails are created. “That’s when I started trying to think outside the box like, ‘OK, this isn’t how you make drinks, so that’s how I’m going to make drinks. I’m going to try to reverse-engineer feelings, and emotions, and vibes,’” she says.

DeJarnett’s curiosity stemmed from her time studying biochemistry at UMKC. Her skepticism of traditional processes combined with her creativity lend to her innovation as a mixologist. Cocktail menus are typically built from classic templates.

For example, an old fashioned contains 2 ounces of whiskey, .5 ounces of simple syrup, and two dashes of Angostura bitters.

Exchange the whiskey for tequila or mezcal, the simple syrup for agave, and—tah-dah, it becomes a Oaxaca old fashioned. So, when DeJarnett was promoted to head bartender, she eschewed this method. Instead, she shared photos with her staff and asked that they build drinks to represent the feelings those images evoked.

Her approach as a bar artist is whimsical, but her long history of charity work lends to her current work ethic at the helm. DeJarnett attended high school in St. Charles, Missouri where she spent her days volunteering at an animal shelter. Since then, she’s given her time to community

THE PITCH | August 2022 | THEPITCHKC.COM

gardens and community kitchens, often working at a nonprofit by day and running the bar by night.

Most visible was her work during the shutdown phase of the pandemic. When both Manifesto and The Rieger Hotel closed, the staff found themselves with stocks of food they couldn’t sell, along with access to a commercial kitchen they couldn’t use. So, outside in the parking lot, they opened the Crossroads Kitchen—a place where anyone could come for a free meal. They served hundreds of people every day.

This essential work made DeJarnett question her role in Kansas City. “I was going from serving people their only meal of the day—in a dignified way that maybe they hadn’t experienced before—then going to paint the walls of a bar that charges $12 per drink,” she says. While working at the Crossroads Kitchen as well as Drastic Measures, she says she felt tension between these two facets of her life: One served a population in need, and the other served a population with disposable income. Like everything else, this was exasperated by the political divides over public safety. “I started to feel resentful of people who wouldn’t take the small step of wearing a mask,” she continues.

Throughout DeJarnett’s years behind the bar, she’s been aggravated by the chronic undervaluation of labor. She offers a wellknown secret of the hospitality industry: It survives on the backs of strong workers who overperform, adding value far beyond their compensation.

Here is a term DeJarnett shares from the hospitality industry itself: Nails.

According to DeJarnett: Nails is the person who eats the most shit. Nails is the person who works harder than you. Nails is the person who treats you like you are a guest but also their boss. Nails is the person who anticipates your needs and works harder than you to fulfill them. Nails is the person who works when they have a 102 degree fever.

DeJarnett knows that Nails is the staff member who keeps a bar or restaurant afloat. She sees an industry of capable and skilled workers who overextend themselves to make a few more dollars in tips, because their hourly wages are too small to make ends meet. And she sees bar and restaurant owners who exploit this by cutting labor when they see a Nails employee. “Businesses have allowed themselves to run on these thin ass margins to where labor is the one thing they’ll cut. And when labor is the thing you find dispensable and replaceable, you need those people to overperform, otherwise the structure of your business fails,” she says.

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Mise en Place THERESA SANTOS-SPENCER OF TING’S FILIPINO BISTRO ON GEOGRAPHY LESSONS AND FAMILY RECIPES

By Steph Castor Sometimes there is bickering and then we make up. I trust the team I have and am very grateful for them all.

“When I interviewed, he said, ‘It’s shitty.

You’re gonna get paid no more than what you already make.

You will work way more than you already do.

It’s 100 degrees down here. It’s in a 100-yearold basement, so it’s really fucking gross.

And we’re gonna put you on the floor for months, and when you’re good enough, we’ll maybe let you behind this bar.’ And I was like, ‘Absolutely.’”

Amanda DeJarnett spends some downtime on the patio at the Hi-Dive Lounge. Photo by Destiny Frack

Mise En Place is a series of questions, answers, recommendations, and culinary wisdom from the food and drink masters that push KC flavor further.

The following answers have been edited for length and clarity.

Are there any secret menu items you can shed light on? Filipino food is kind of tricky.

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When it comes to flavor, there is no substitution for family lineage.

Theresa “Ting” Santos-Spencer is the owner of Ting’s Filipino Bistro—one of the very few traditional Filipino food establishments in the KC metro. Ting and her staff put a strong emphasis on family bonds and ancestral history, as can be seen on their website’s “About” page alone.

Below, Ting reflects on the smells from her childhood kitchen, draws a map of the mainland, and encourages community within the restaurant industry.

The Pitch: When did you first find your passion for food? What were some of your favorite experiences as a child? Theresa “Ting” Spencer: I have always loved watching my grandma and my mom cooking in the kitchen. There’s a long history of amazing food passed down from generations in my family. Our background of Filipino and Spanish ancestors gave us the edge on flavor and our love of food. ‘Til this day, when I smell certain dishes like Sinigang or Adobo cooking on the stove, I can’t help but remember the best memories of my childhood when the two most important women in my life were still alive.

What is the philosophy at Ting’s Filipino Bistro that keeps the staff and food going strong? The dynamics of our Ting’s Filipino Bistro staff is one of family. We sometimes go through ups and downs, but we always come together for the common goal of serving KC with the best Filipino food we are able to offer. We have become a very close-knit family.

The Philippines is made up of 7,100 islands, so dishes have different versions depending on what region you are from. My family is from the mainland—which is North Philippines—called Luzon. It’s where the bustling big cities Manila, Quezon City, and Makati are located. The real secret to my food is in the ingredients we use and the steps we take to accomplish certain textures and flavors by cooking everything with specific intentions.

What is one ingredient you’d rather skip altogether? I don’t cook with MSG at the restaurant. No need, really.

What’s your go-to meal after a long day at work? This may seem weird, but I love homemade soups no matter what time of day or season.

Who are some local restaurants you’re drawing inspiration from or keeping an eye on? For some time now, I’ve really enjoyed going to Jarocho’s in Kansas City, KS. I love going to small mom-and-pop places more than the big fancy places. I like the vibe in the local spots, and just like I want them to support Ting’s, it’s why I choose not to frequent chains and corporate-run restaurants.

What’s one thing keeping you on your toes about the hospitality industry? The food and beverage industry is its own type of animal. You really have to know your market, provide good food, and give great customer service to survive. You have to be passionate about food and the quality of ingredients you use to keep the customers coming back.

Consistency is definitely a priority.

If you had to choose right now—drinks included—what would be your last meal? My grandma’s Bistek Tagalog (thinly sliced beef sirloin, marinated in calamansi juice, soy sauce, and lots of onions), served over white rice and melon juice.

THE PITCH | August 2022 | THEPITCHKC.COM

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FOOD & DRINK

Be Kind and Rewind THE DREAM OF THE ‘90S IS ALIVE BENEATH SCREENLAND ARMOUR

By Thomas White

Take a stroll down a North Kansas City alley behind a strip of Armour Rd. businesses, and just past a set of dumpsters there’s a door with a Blockbuster-esque logo that welcomes the weary with a portal to a simpler time.

Rewind is the ‘90s basement dive bar and movie rental spot we didn’t know we needed. A few steps downstairs reveals the basement hangout of your coolest wouldbe friend from when the internet was delivered in the mail on a CD. “We wanted to create a true analog experience,” says owner Adam Roberts.

“Some people miss this type of thing and some haven’t experienced it at all.”

Guests are greeted with a cavalcade of ‘90s artifacts as decor. Some may notice the Clerks, Jurassic Park, Evil Dead II, or Rush-

The millennial’s ultimate wet dream from yesteryear is brought to life at Rewind. Photos by Chase Castor

scription to rent and return selections for the old-souled cinephile. They will also loan out VHS and DVD players to those who’ve shed the antiquated movie technology.

You’ll find a six-seat bar in the neon-lit basement offering a top notch beer and local spirit selection. DVD cases quaintly house cocktail menus scattered across the

“Some people miss this type of thing and some haven’t experienced it at all.” more posters while others pick up on the Saved by the Bell-themed wall, troll dolls, and analog stereo blasting of early Mobb Deep, Gin Blossoms, and Beastie Boys in the background.

Offset from the basement of forgotten pager codes is a room full of 2,000+ VHS and DVD selections that would make Hollywood Video blush. The collection features films you often can’t find on a streaming service, plus specialty director’s cuts, cult-classics, and rare horror films.

“The movies for rent are from my personal collection,” says Roberts, who also owns the four-screen revival movie house Screenland Armour Theater, just upstairs from Rewind.

Rewind offers a flat-rate monthly sub-

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bar. The signature cocktail list is small, unpretentious, and nostalgic. The Adult Capri Sun is the star of the menu served in a plastic pouch punctured by a straw and featuring a rotating flavor profile—currently its a straightforward strawberry lemonade flavor fortified by local vodka.

“Rewind isn’t a swanky cocktail speakeasy, and our drink offerings reflect that,” says Roberts. “Our biggest concern is creating a good hang.”

Boozy Capri Sun in hand, a look into the land before Al Gore won the popular vote shows old couches, loveseats, and chairs pointed at tube televisions and welcoming retro gaming consoles. Groups can grab a set of controllers and a game free of charge from the bar.

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Friends can lounge and jog their memories on the finer points of PS1, Sega, N64, and SuperNintendo. The blast from the past continues as drinks are rested on floppy disk coasters while dueling pals in games like Golden Eye, Twisted Metal, MarioKart, Tekken, NBA Jamz, NFL Blitz, and Mortal Kombat.

“Every detail was curated, from wood-panel walls to the period foosball table,” says Roberts. “We didn’t want it to be overly kitsch like pop-up bars tend to be. We are going for ‘90s authenticity.”

So, if a younger friend says that the Jason mask looks weird, be kind when correcting them that it’s a Casey Jones mask from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Rewind exclusively admits guests who

REWIND 410 Armour Rd. North Kansas City, MO 64116 Hours: Thursday - 5 p.m. to 10 p.m.

Friday and Saturday - 5 p.m. to Midnight

are 21+ and seats a cozy 40 to 50 people. A movie ticket from Screenland Armour gets you a dollar off drinks, and food is served via vending machine like any self-respecting dive.

Presented by

AUGUST 19

tickets at boldtypetickets.com A portion of proceeds benefiting

THE PITCH | August 2022 | THEPITCHKC.COM

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MUSIC

When You Were Young QUITE FRANKLY ARE THE LITERAL NEXT GENERATION OF ROCK’N’ROLL

By Nick Spacek About half an hour before The Pitch’s editor-in-chief Brock Wilbur and I sat down on the Boulevardia podcast stage to record an episode of Streetwise, we were walking through the shaded area and chatting in the northwesternmost section of the festival. As if we were one, we simultaneously stopped and swiveled our heads toward the P3 Park Stage as we heard the instantly-recognizable guitar line from The Strokes’ “Reptilia.”

Immediately, our plans for catching the podcast prior to ours were abandoned, and we quickly made our way to the stage, where the five members of Quite Frankly were finishing the song, which was performed with such attention to detail that we immediately thought it was a DJ playing a track. The astonishment at that was only heightened when the band launched into “Cochise” by Audioslave, a one-two punch that absolutely shouldn’t work, but did. The band’s original, which followed these two songs, somehow fit within the boundaries set by the covers preceding it.

We were gobsmacked at the talent we’d seen in just 10 minutes on a stage which was barely a foot off the ground.

We met up one Sunday morning in early July. Quite Frankly and I sat in the living room of bass player Scout Matthews’ home, along with her mother and the band’s manager, M.J. Matthews. I asked members Jolson Robert (guitar and vocals), Gavin Robert (drums), Carolyn Armstrong (vocals), and Eli Peterson (guitar) just how they came to pair such disparate tunes into one effective set.

“When it comes down to it, we all have niche taste,” Jolson Robert explains. “Everybody has some weird shit that they like, but we all have the same group of songs. We’ve got a Venn diagram where the middle is pretty fat, but the things on the outside of that are fucking weird.”

Quite Frankly began five years ago when the audition-only School of Rock

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Quite Frankly performs at Shawnee Mission East prom. Courtesy Quite Frankly

house band Scout Matthews had played with disbanded. She asked her mother if she could start a garage band as a way to keep playing consistently.

“I said, ‘Sure, honey, you go ahead and do that,’” M.J. Matthews recalls. She figured it would be two rehearsals in the garage and she’d never hear from it again; however, as she puts it, “Here we are, five years later—a lot of heartbreak, a lot of gossip, a lot of crap, a lot of members, a lot of fun. It’s been incredible to watch this thing grow.”

After the original singer left, Armstrong joined as vocalist; then Jolson Robert on guitar; followed by his younger brother, Gavin Robert, on drums; and finally Peterson on guitar to complete the group as it is now. Most of them have spent time at School of Rock, which is where many of their first covers came from.

“The covers that we used to do were ones that we learned and carried over,” Armstrong recalls. “It was, like, all just old rock and not necessarily stuff that we really like.”

Right now, the band is in the midst of another transition period. They’re adding their own music to the mix and playing fewer covers. While it’s creatively interesting, there’s definitely a trade-off. When you look at Quite Frankly’s summer schedule, they’re booked solid.

“We’re trying to write and play more originals while also getting paid,” Jolson Robert explains. “But also, like, goddamn.

It’s so hard to make money without doing covers.”

Jolson Robert feels that if they’re going to do covers, then why not just do all the weird shit they like? It’s part of not only navigating the changes between a cover band and a band that plays originals, but also the changing from the fact that they they were all recently honest-to-goodness children.

Matthews just graduated high school in May, Armstrong and Peterson are going to

THE PITCH | August 2022 | THEPITCHKC.COM

be high school seniors, Gavin Robert will be a high school junior, and Jolson Robert is barely of legal drinking age.

“It was this thing where all the adults would be like, ‘Oh my gosh, look at these young kids playing all this ‘80s rock that we love,’ you know?” recalls Jolson Robert.

“That’s cool for a while, and I don’t mind talking to parents, but I did get my face licked by a 50-year-old lady one time. After that, I was like, ‘How about we play for people our age?’”

The process of songwriting is something that Armstrong explained as happening “genuinely.” The band walked me through the process of writing their first successful song, “blue/red.”

“Eli started playing something that I thought I forgot to learn,” Gavin starts off.

“So I start improvising my way through it.”

“I was like, ‘Dude, that sounds like ‘Lazy Eye’ by Silversun Pickups,” Jolson Robert jumps in. “It’s different enough, but it’s giving me that vibe. I was like, ‘I fucking love that song. Let’s do something with this.’

Then he just showed me what he was playing.”

“So, he started his phone to record it,” concludes Gavin Robert. “And I’m like, ‘Dude, I’m sure they have an actual record,’ and he’s like, ‘We’re making this up as we go along. We’re writing it right now, my brother in Christ.’”

Jolson Robert, being older, described it as a new direction that he really enjoys.

Coming from a position where he’d also written completely alone, he described having a group of people who are so efficient at writing as being crazy.

“It happens so fast,” Jolson Robert explains. “I’ve never been in any group where it’s just, like, by the time we’re done playing, that is the song.”

Armstrong agrees, “And it’s weird, ‘cause you think that it would be hard with two people writing their own lyrics, but,

somehow, it always works.”

This point was made very clear by what happened with their newest song, “Might Be.” Jolson Robert and Armstrong were writing lyrics separately. Jolson Robert was writing lyrics about a relationship that wasn’t working, but he was still into the person—“Overly ignoring all the red flags.” Completely independent of that, Armstrong wrote a song about breaking up with somebody because they’re too attached.

“So, then we came together and I was like—literally—’What the fuck?’” Jolson Robert says.

Not only that, but the verses go perfectly back and forth, and they even wrote two separate choruses that just happened to be call-and-response. It’s not something they did on purpose, the two say, but the groove works.

As we wrapped up, I asked the band what their plans are, which turned to school goals and making more music— Scout Matthews quietly mused that she’d really like to go on a proper tour. But it seems that, for the time being, the band is content with gradually working towards it.

After we finished our discussion, the band asked if I’d like to hear the new song.

When I enthusiastically agreed, we headed down the steps from the living room into the band’s practice space, where they proceeded to give a single-song concert to me as an audience of one. The song is everything you’d hope for after a conversation covering so much musical ground. It’s instantly hooky, but with enough angularity to keep it from being a pop pastiche.

Though a basement rec room isn’t the best way to hear vocals, the interplay between Jolson Robert and Armstrong was infectious and fun. The band sounded like they’ve been waiting to unleash this song for a good minute, and their enthusiasm for newness is infectious.

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Aug 6

Aug 11-13

A Morning with PH Coffee

Ron Funches

Get a Saturday morning education on coffee at the Kansas City Museum at 3218 Gladstone Blvd. in the Historic Northeast. PH Coffee’s Holly Bastin will lead the java-curious through a tasting of coffee styles. From 10:30 a.m. til noon, you get to sample a menagerie of traditional and modern toasty, nutty, and sometimes fruity brews. Tickets are $20 and include a bag of your favorite beans to take home.

To know Ron Funches is to love Ron Funches. You may know the actor, comedian, and writer from his stand-up special Giggle Fit, his appearances on Conan, Drunk History, The Eric Andre Show, or his voice work on Bob’s Burgers and the Trolls movie series. Or maybe you’ve missed all of that and are a stranger to Funches’ optimistic, clever, joyful, and low-key comedy. Get to know him better at the Comedy Club of Kansas City over five standup sets Aug 11 - 13. The early show starts at 7 p.m. with additional 9:30 p.m. shows Friday and Saturday.

Kansas City Museum

August CALENDAR

By Steph Castor, Emeline Hutton, Hannah Scott, Lauren Textor, Thomas White

The Comedy Club of Kansas City

Aug 6

Aug 12

Innovation Festival, Crown Center Square Breakaway Festival, Azura Amphitheater Backyard Movies: Shrek, Screenland Armour Parking Lot

Incubus, Azura Amphitheater Michael Franti & Spearhead, GrindersKC Godfrey, Improv Comedy Club Raitt & Ronstadt Revival, Macken Park Rex Hobart & The Honky Tonk Standards, The Kansas City Museum

ONGOING

Aug 19 - 31

Aug 7

Aug 1 - 31

Pepe Mar: Rising Sun, Kemper Museum of Contemporary Art

Art Deco Featured Exhibit, Nelson Atkins Museum

Aug 7, 14, 21, 28

Hellzapoppin Circus Sideshow, The Granada David Gray, Starlight Dachshund Meet-up, Bar K

Aug 2, 9, 16, 23, 30 Geeks Who Drink Trivia, Bar K

Aug 1 - 31 Maggie Mclaughlin Art Show, The Brick

Aug 5 - 7

Art Garden KC, River Market

Aug 15 - 31 Maya: The Exhibition, Union Station

Aug 19-21 Parkville Days, Parkville, MO

PBR Outlaw Days, T-Mobile Center

EVENTS

Aug 1 - 31

Aug 3

Art Course (Mini Golf), Nelson-Atkins Lawn

G. Love, recordBar Kansas City Poetry Slam, Blip Roasters The Texas Gentlemen, Knuckleheads

Aug 1, 8, 15, 22, 29 Rural Grit Happy Hour, The Brick

Aug 1 - 31

Aug 4

Immersive Van Gogh Exhibit, Zona Rosa

Dana Gould, The Comedy Club of KC Lord Buffalo, Replay Lounge

Aug 3, 10, 17, 24, 31

Aug 5

Writing Workshop KC, Seven Swans Creperie

Pop-Ups with a Purpose: First Fridays, 18th and Wyandotte Breakaway Festival, Azura Amphitheater OneRepublic, Starlight Eggs on Mars, Manor Records

Aug 1, 8, 15, 22, 29 Music Trivia, Bier Station

Aug 8 Here and There Festival, The Midland Thundercat, Grinders KC Tim Heidecker, The Truman

Aug 9 Native Prairie Series: Tallgrass Prairies, Powell Gardens Royals vs. White Sox ($1 Hot Dog Night), Kauffman Stadium Imagine Dragons, T-Mobile Center Father John Misty, The Midland

Aug 10 Sleigh Bells, The Truman Anastasia, Starlight Needle in a Gay Stack: Queer Crafting Meetup, Broadway Café

Aug 11 The Black Creatures Album Release Show, The Black Box Dinner, Drinks, & Drag, Improv Comedy Club Brett Young, KC Live!

Aug 13 The Decemberists, GrindersKC The Lumineers, T-Mobile Center Black Joe Lewis & The Honeybears, Knuckleheads

Aug 14 Kansas City Monarchs Sunday Funday, Legends Field Sleeping With Sirens, The Truman Melissa Etheridge, Liberty Hall

Aug 15 Jeff Shirley Organ Trio, Green Lady Lounge Xtreme Music Bingo, Bar K

Aug 16 Sister Act, Starlight Silversun Pickups, Liberty Hall Polyphia, The Granada

Aug 17 ZZ Top, Missouri State Fair Olivia Fox, Crossroads Hotel Pony Bradshaw, Knuckleheads Dottie’s Spot: Monthly Art Meetup, KC Center for Inclusion

Aug 18 The Devil Wears Prada, The Truman

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THE PITCH | August 2022 | THEPITCHKC.COM

Aug 14

Aug 21

RuPaul’s Drag Race

Kendrick Lamar

Start your engines, and may the best drag queen win! Rupaul’s Drag Race hits the runway at the Uptown Theater Aug 14. Based on the Emmy-winning drag competition show, the “Werq the World Tour” brings queens, queerness, comedic innuendo, and lip-synching eleganza to KC. The who’s-who of drag race superstars bring their charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent to the stage beginning at 7 p.m. Tickets start at $45 and are available on Uptown Theater’s website.

It’s been five years since Kendrick Lamar won a Pulitzer (maybe we can borrow it sometime?) for his album DAMN and played the Sprint Center. A pandemic, a new president, and a venue name-change later, Lamar returns to KC in support of his new two-part 18-song album Mr. Morale & The Bigsteppers. The streets of Compton bring the heat to T-Mobile Center via The Bigsteppers Tour on Aug. 21 at 8 p.m. Kendrick Lamar may be humble, but his show will make you say, “DAMN.” Tickets start at $60.

Uptown Theater

Black Stone Cherry, Knuckleheads Doobie, The Bottleneck

Aug 19 Boz Scaggs w/ Robert Cray Band, Kauffman Center Ethnic Enrichment Festival, Swope Park KC Current vs Angel City FC, Children’s Mercy Park

Aug 20 Dreamgirl, The Bottleneck Alexander Majors House Ghost Hunt, 8201 State Line Rd. The Goblin King’s Fae Formal, Cable Event Center The Taylor Party: Taylor Swift Night, The Truman

Aug 21 India Fest 2022, Overland Park Convention Center Happy Together Tour, Kauffman Center Sean Kingston, The Granada

Aug 25 Telekinetic Yeti, recordBar Tai Fu Panda, The Comedy Club of Kansas City Chiefs vs Packers (Preseason Game), Arrowhead Stadium

Aug 26 Light Up the Lawn: Making Movies, Midwest Trust Center Popcorn in the Park, Capitol Federal Sports Complex Katy Guillen & The Drive, Knuckleheads

Aug 27 The Rainmakers, Knuckleheads Alan Jackson, T-Mobile Center Leanne Morgan, The Midland Jackson County Dems: Truman Gala, Municipal Auditorium

Aug 28

Aug 22

French Organ Music Festival, The Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception KC Current vs NC Courage, Children’s Mercy Park

KC Monarchs vs Winnipeg Goldeyes, Legends Field

Aug 29

Aug 23

Jack White, Starlight The MGD’s, Nighthawk

Alpha Wolf, The RINO The Dear Hunter, The Bottleneck

Aug 30

Aug 24 $uicideboy$, Azura Amphitheater Royals vs Diamondbacks (Bobblehead Giveaway), Kauffman Stadium The Art of Desiree Kelly, KC Central Library

T-Mobile Center

iDK HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME w/ Joywave, The Granada River of the Gods: Genius, Courage, and Betrayal in the Search for the Source of the Nile, Plaza Branch KC Public Library

Aug 29

Jack White Starlight Theatre

You’ve chanted his biggest hit, “Seven Nation Army,” since 2003. Jack White’s been busy ever since with three bands (The White Stripes, Dead Weather, and The Raconteurs), a dozen Grammys, a solo career, his own record label, and a vinyl pressing plant. White is touring in support of two albums released this year, Fear of the Dawn and Entering Heaven Alive, and is known for his bluespunk frenetic guitar virtuosity performed without a setlist, making no two shows alike. The “Supply Chain Issues Tour” comes to Starlight Theatre Aug. 29. Gates open at 6:30 for the 8 p.m. phone-free show. Limited tickets are still available, starting at $45.

THE PITCH | August 2022 | THEPITCHKC.COM

27

THE PITCH SEX & LOVE KEEP THEM COMING

to understand their sexual response cycle.

Ejaculation and orgasm are two separate functions. Generally, for penis owners, orgasm begins and then there is the ejaculation phase. In the withdrawal method, they have to know when their ejaculation phase begins and to pull out a few seconds before that happens.

Photo by Nicole Bissey. Illustrations by Shelby Phelps

What happens next to contraception, and reproductive rights as a whole, is a hellscape of the unknown.

COITUS INTERRUPTUS For a multitude of reasons, my partner and I won’t be makin’ babies. I had a friend give me shit recently for admitting we practice the pull-out method until My Guy gets the ole’ snippy clippy. I tried to educate my friend about the nuances and research about coitus interruptus, though I still found myself knocking on the wood of Ragazza’s bar when I said “it’s worked so far…” as she looked at me with a heaping dose of disbelief.

But now, I live in a post-Roe Missouri, and shit is changing real fast for me and thousands of my fellow residents of child-bearing age. Many of us need to reduce our chances of pregnancy immediately, be it for reasons like mine, or they are on medications that could cause severe birth defects, or they have too many children for their family’s fiscal means. Let’s also not forget anyone who is desperately avoiding impregnation as abusive partners consider pregnancy as a form of control and coercion.

The Missouri Right to Life of the Unborn Child Act, as written, states that contraceptives prevent implantation and are therefore technically illegal. According to

this law, preventing implantation of a zygote or preventing fertilization of an egg, such as with Plan B and IUDs, is illegal in Missouri. There’s no doubt that, especially in rural areas, prosecutors will target people with uteruses with this in mind. A Class B felony charge can ensue as a result of the poor language in the bill. While it’s aimed at providers of abortion, there’s no clear amnesty for the person getting the abortion.

Let’s get educated on how to prevent pregnancy, as, truly, that’s the best way to prevent abortions.

PENIS OWNERS: Condoms are about 98% effective when used correctly. The top reason condoms fail is breakage or slippage.

If you choose polyisoprene Skyn condoms, you’ll feel a helluva lot more than you ever will with latex. You’ll have no slippage, lessen the likelihood of breakage, and your dick will thank me later. You’re also protected from most STIs this way. Yes, lube is necessary and not a reflection of your manhood or sexual prowess.

With regard to the withdrawal method, the key to a higher level of preventative success is that the person ejaculating needs

The wait time is getting pretty long out there for vasectomies. My Guy could not get an appointment earlier than five months out, so there’s clearly a great deal of sudden demand for the procedure. Vasectomies clamp the vas deferens, which prevent sperm from entering the semen. It’s low-risk, outpatient, and has a quick recovery time. At three months, have your semen tested to ensure there are no swimmers.

Most docs will recommend testing twice to be sure.

UTERUS OWNERS: The following require a prescription and access to medical care of some form—in person or telehealth. None of these provide protection from STIs. Hormonal pills are the most commonly used form of birth control. They’re widely available in multiple forms and 91% effective. It’s generally a cost-effective option, therefore increasing its popularity. You may have to spend time finding the right hormonal balance for you.

IUDs, or Intrauterine Devices, are T-shaped medical implants for the uterus via the vaginal canal. It can last for 7-12 years depending on the brand. IUDs are 99% effective for both the copper and hormonal varieties, so many say it’s worth the pain for the efficacy. You can sometimes feel the strings from IUDs with fingers or dicks during playtime.

Transvaginal rings, diaphragms, and cervical caps are all additional options.

Rings are hormonal and are replaced once per month. Diaphragms and cervical caps require placement each time you have intercourse and are often used with a spermicidal lube.

Cool with a little rod under your skin?

Consider the transdermal implant Nexplanon. Once inserted via an applicator between the bicep and tricep on the back of your arm, it slow-releases progestin. This prevents eggs from leaving the ovary and thickens vaginal mucus so those swimmers are basically in quicksand. It’s reversible, is replaced every five years, and only fails .01% of the time.

There are a few options for a shot. Depo-Provera has been around a long time and is 94% effective. Progestin is the main hormone, it lasts 12 weeks, and takes effect pretty quickly if timed properly with your menstrual cycle. You can even do this yourself at home via mail order.

There are two transdermal patches— worn like a sticker on your upper arm, butt, stomach, or back—approved for use in the U.S. Patches use estrogen and progestin, which are designed to stop ovulation in a method similar to hormonal birth control pills.

NO PRESCRIPTION REQUIRED: Vagina condoms, otherwise known as internal barrier condoms, are not as effective as penis-covering condoms at only 79% efficiency and are also more expensive than traditional condoms.

After the fact, we do have emergency contraception such as the morning after pill, which is still available for sale—for now.

Costco has the morning-after pill for under $10. I went the next day to test this out. Seven dollars and five minutes of my time were all it took for me to have peace of mind in my medicine cabinet. Online options are also available for those seeking Plan B. Will Missouri start enforcing the law that went into effect with the Dobbs decision, making some of these forms of birth control inaccessible for Missourians? Our governor says that won’t happen. But already, in practice, we are seeing pharmacists and hospitals backing down from even the basics of prescription contraception, for either religious exemptions—now a fully viable option for them—or fear of current or future prosecution under vaguely-worded laws and regional politicians hoping to make a name for themselves on the rightwing circuit.

What happens next to contraception, and reproductive rights as a whole, is a hellscape of the unknown. Hopefully, the aforementioned options can bring you peace of mind. Or, in the case of products that might disappear from your grasp in the near future, maybe now is the time to stock up.

You can find Kristen @OpenTheDoorsKC on Twitter or openthedoorscoaching com. Check out her podcast Keep Them Coming.

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THE PITCH | August 2022 | THEPITCHKC.COM

THE PITCH SEX & LOVE SAVAGE LOVE

PRIDE AND PREFERENCE Dear Dan: As a queer man of color—I’m Asian—I feel wounded whenever I am exposed to gay men in New York City, Toronto, or any city where white gay men dominate.

Gay men, mostly whites and Asians, reject me because of my race and no one admits to their sexual racism. I understand that sexual attraction is subconscious for many people.

But it is unfair for a gay Asian like myself to be constantly marginalized and rejected. I fight for gay rights, too. I believe in equality, too. I had the same pain of being gay in high school and the same fears when coming out, too. Why is there no acceptance, no space, no welcome for me in this white-painted gay community? I’m six-foot-one, 160 pounds, fit, and very good-looking. What can I do? I might as well be a sexless monk.

—Enraged Dude Details Infuriating Experience Dear EDDIE: “I relate to a lot of what EDDIE is feeling here,” said Joel Kim Booster, a Brooklyn-based writer and comedian. “The double-edged sword of living in a city with a large gay community is that the community gets so large that we finally have the opportunity to marginalize people within it.”

Jeff Chu, a writer who also lives in Brooklyn, can relate: “Racism still thrives in the gay community, just as in broader society,” said Chu. “Many of us who are Asian American come out of the closet and walk into this weird bamboo cage, where we’re either fetishized or ignored. Many times I’d go into a gay bar and see guys playing out some gross interracial porno in their heads—with me playing the part of their Chinese pocket gay. Others (the ones I was interested in, to be candid) would act as if I were wearing an invisibility cheongsam.”

Chu feels there’s plenty of blame to go around for this sad state of affairs. “It’s the gay media,” said Chu. “It’s Hollywood. Even

with all the LGBT characters we have on TV now, what images do we have of Asian American ones? It’s that LGBT-rights organizations still haven’t diversified enough, especially in their leadership. And it’s all of us, when we’re lazy and don’t confront our own prejudices.”

Booster and Chu are right: Racism is a problem in the gay community. Some people within are unfairly and cruelly marginalized, and we all need to confront our own prejudices.

Even you, EDDIE. You cite your height (tall!), weight (slim!), and looks (VGL!) as proof you’ve faced sexual rejection based solely on your race. But short, heavy, average-looking/unconventionally-attractive guys face rejection for not being tall, lean, or conventionally hot, just as you’ve faced rejection for not being white. (The cultural baggage and biases that inform a preference for, say, tall guys is a lot less toxic than the cultural baggage and biases that inform a preference for white guys—duh, obviously.)

“As a stereotypically short Chinese guy, my first reaction to reading EDDIE’s letter?

Damn, he’s six-foot-one! I’m jealous,” said Chu. “And that’s also part of the problem. I, like many others, have internalized an ideal: tall, gym-perfected, blah blah blah—and, above all, white.”

Booster, who somehow manages to have plenty of sex in New York’s “white-painted gay community,” had some practical tips for you. “EDDIE should stay away from the apps if the experience becomes too negative,” Booster said. “If logging on to a hookup app bums him out, take a break. Being a double minority can be isolating, but living in a big city can be great. There are meet-ups, and clubs, and activities for all stripes. Join a gay volleyball league—truly where gay Asian men thrive— or find one of the many gay Asian nights at one of the gay bars around the city. They’re out there.”

A quick word to gay white men: It’s fine to have “preferences.” But we need to examine our preferences and give some thought to the cultural forces that may have shaped them. Do yourself the favor of making sure your preferences are actually yours, and not some limited and limiting racist “preference” pounded into your head by TV, movies, and porn. And while preferences are allowed (and gay men of color have them, too), there’s no excuse for littering Grindr or Tinder or Recon—or your conversations in bars—with dehumanizing garbage like “no Asians,” “no Blacks,” “no femmes,” “no fatties,” etc. (But “no Republicans” is fine.)

what I can (or should) do as a chat user? Is it sufficient just to block these people? Should I flag their profiles? Or should I message them and ask them to change their profile?

—Grinding Endlessly Against Racism

Dear GEAR: Ugh, “just my preference” gays.

JMPGs pop up everywhere, of course, but they’re thicker on the ground in more conservative areas. And while you can find examples of white gays in their 30s and 40s (and older) doing this kind of crap, it sometimes seems to be more prevalent among younger gay white men. These young guys— often recently out and from overwhelmingly white areas—get online and start saying dumb, racist shit. So long as they stay in Kansas or Utah, GEAR, they don’t get a lot of pushback. But once a JMPG moves to Chicago or Los Angeles, they suddenly encounter pushback. Other gay men… reformed JMPGs or never-ever-were JMPGs… start to get in their faces about how unacceptable and harmful this shit is.

Decent gay men of all ages and races despair over this “just my preference” crap because it never seems to stop. But that’s not true; it does stop. After gay people who know better (and are better) get in the face of a JMPG, his latent moral imagination can kick into gear. The JMPG starts to

think about how it would feel to be on the receiving end of this shit. Maybe he recalls the Golden Rule back from Sunday School, perhaps he makes a few non-white friends and listens to them. Maybe he even starts to question his own precious preferences.

(Are they his actual preferences? Or did he mindlessly adopt preferences assigned to him by Hollywood and porn?) And then maybe—hopefully, ideally—he stops being a JMPG. Even if he figures out that, yes, he’s primarily attracted to other white guys, he realizes he can act on his preferences—he can fuck the guys he wants to fuck—without needlessly disparaging anyone along the way.

What happens next is kinda depressing. Another young and/or dumb JMPG moves to town and the whole someoneneeds-to-get-in-his-face process starts up all over again. So, when you see a JMPG with “no Blacks,” or “no Asians,” or “no fats,” or “no femmes” in their profile, GEAR, push back. Tell him he’s being an asshole. Getting through to JMPGs is slow, one-dude-at-attime work, but you can be part of the solution.

Email Dan at mail@savagelove.net Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage New website at Savage.Love!

Dear Dan: I recently moved to the South, and on Grindr I’m noticing a lot more racist messaging in profiles, sometimes as overt as “no Blacks” and “no Asians.” I’m wondering THE PITCH | August 2022 | THEPITCHKC.COM

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KC CARES

KC Cares

Monkey Brain Art

By Beth Lipoff

For Gary Walker, art was the only thing that could calm his mind while dealing with the PTSD he has as a result of his time in the Air Force. Now he and his wife, Trish, are reaching out to help others who may have trouble dealing with trauma experienced on the job.

Their non-profit, Monkey Brain Art, focuses especially on veterans and first responders. The name comes from the Buddhist idea of the monkey mind—one that’s unsettled or restless.

They kick off each free art class with some mindful meditation, stationing volunteers to watch the doors so that participants will feel comfortable closing their eyes and letting their guard down.

Participants try a new medium of art each week, over the course of nine weeks. It can be anything, from coloring with crayon to pouring paint and making fluid art.

Having that variety makes it easier for people to find what works for them. Trying something new with the group also allows them to build a community with each other. Though the classes just started last year, they’ve already worked with more than 200 people.

Right now, the classes happen in four different places around the KC metro including the American Legion in Smithville, St. Michael’s Veterans Center, the Veterans Affairs Honor Annex, and the Veterans Community Project.

One of the things they like to emphasize at Monkey Brain Art is that you don’t have to have any artistic skill or experience to be part of the program.

“We don’t want people to think, ‘I can’t go because I’m not an artist,’” says Trish Walker.

There are some ground rules for the

50

th

classes, including not telling war stories. The classes are meant to be a safe space to open up and relax, and this helps avoid triggers that might exacerbate another person’s anxieties.

“We all have PTSD, so we recognize when somebody is going through stress or anxiety. We try to do everything we can in our courses to lessen the amount they will have,” says Gary Walker.

Many of the teachers are also veterans or first responders, so they understand the issues participants may be having.

Kara Silvey is an Army veteran who took an art class earlier this year, and this fall, she’ll be teaching a piano class. She sustained a traumatic brain injury in the line of duty in 2009 and is always looking for ways to deal with the difficulties she faces as a result of that injury.

“I call it my arsenal. You just put all these things in your toolkit, and you pull them out when you need them. You didn’t have to be an artist to sign up, so I thought, ‘I’ll try anything,’” she says.

Although an art class was outside her comfort zone—and one of the only classes she’d taken since her injury—she’s glad she tried it.

“I was really impressed by the welcoming spirit that each of the volunteers has. The overwhelming feeling I got from every single class was that they would tell us, ‘We’re here for you. We’ll hold space for you. We’ll meet you where you are,’” she says. “Those are huge things, because I have a lot of pain almost every day with headaches and a neck injury, and I spend a lot of my time managing my pain, and a lot of times that involves hiding it from people. When I walked into a Monkey Brain Art class, I knew those were

NATIONAL FLAT-PICKING CHAMPIONSHIPS

Brain Art class July 11. Photos by Beth Lipoff

the kind of people I would never have to hide what I was feeling to fit in.”

Before her injury, piano is what helped her calm her mind. But after her injury, she couldn’t play.

“All pathways between my brain and my hands had been disconnected from that injury. I was devastated, because I lost the one thing that would bring me peace and calm. It was my escape,” she says.

After ten years, she managed to reconnect those pathways and is now a teacher. When she decided she wanted to give back and help the community she’d found through Monkey Brain Art, she wanted to do it through music.

“By relearning and reconnecting all those pathways in my brain, I was able to see improvements in my speech, my cognition, and my memory. Putting that all into place really helped my recovery. That’s what I want to share with others, is that there is a healing power in music, and it is really good for your brain,” she says.

Usually, there are between 10 and 14 people in each art class. The photography classes are smaller, and the music classes taught by Silvey will also be smaller.

Other class participants have gone on to sell some of their art, even without having

prior experience. You can find some of them at the KC United Art Festival at the World War I Memorial Oct. 8.

Gary Walker has been pleased to see the effect art has had on himself and others.

“The change we’ve seen in me has been unbelievable, and now we get to see it in other people. It’s just special, when someone comes to you and says, ‘Listen, you guys saved my life.’ And I’m like, ‘We didn’t save your life. Art did. You saved your own life. We just gave you the tools to start working on it,’” he says.

Monkey Brain Art has worked with numerous veterans’ organizations in town to provide classes and help them offer an art component as part of their services. Going forward, he wants to reach out more and collect art supplies for houseless veterans to use.

For more information on volunteering or teaching, visit monkeybrainart.org.

OVER

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Karen Love makes adjustments to her fluid art project while Mitsy Metzinger tilts her canvas at a Monkey

THE PITCH | August 2022 | THEPITCHKC.COM

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