VOLUME 2, ISSUE 1
SEPTEMBER 2015
PIN TREE POS
BRITISH COLUMBIA TO
TIME
FOR A CHANGE How the new timetable affects you and your schedule
NEW YORK
YOU ARE HERE
Two students on the bike ride of a lifetime
WHAT TO JOIN?
Opportunity, inspiration, and fun, the club catalogue has it all
2OO1:
A COUCH EXPEDITION A review that is equal parts rant and rave
SPORTING CLUBS, CLUBBING SPORTS
Clashing views on which extracurriculars are worth devoting yourself to
2 FIRST GLANCE P.2: CLUBS
P.4: LIFE
The Pinetree Post
STAFF EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Russell Kim CONTRIBUTORS Jeff Feng Beverley Fung Hannah Im Henry Liu Zhen Zhen Tsai COLUMNISTS Emily Liang Chaircat Meow Felix LAYOUT DESIGN Elaine Gao COVER AND GRAPHICS Emily Liang PRINT CONSULTANT Felix Guo WEBSITE DESIGN Felix Guo Jordan Liu
Pinetree’s Extended Club Catalogue
P.12: EDITORIALS
Battle Extracurriculars: Sports Teams VS Clubs
Repping Pinetree Across North America
P.16: HUMOR
2001: A Couch Expedition
GET INVOLVED IN THE PT POST! A lot of people dont’t seem to fully appreciate the fact that The Pinetree Post is a student newspaper, fully run and produced by the students. This means that any student can submit content of any kind, whether they be a letter to the editor (I’ll have to prepare myself for these), editorials on issues you feel strongly about, or even comics. Plus, there will be prizes
up for grabs for the best content submitted that month! We also have many positions to fill in our staff, since some members graduated last year. No matter your niche, whether it be writing, editing, drawing, coding websites, navigating savvy business deals, or marketing, we’re looking for students in all grades to join us!
Join us Friday, Sept 11 at Room A204 during lunch to learn more.
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First Glance EDITOR’S NOTE
Welcome to Pinetree
STUDENTS SPEAK Q: What do you think of the new timetable? “I personally think that students should get a nut break... it allows [us] to recharge for other classes.”
I practice posing for Humans of Pinetree.
I bet you had fun waking up to your alarm today. Russell Kim Editor-in-Chief Most of us haven’t used the thing for about two and a half months now, and it’ll take at least a few days, and probably some annoyed teachers, to get used to it again. At the Pinetree Post, we’ve done some thinking and completely redesigned the paper. Let’s start with the logo. To be honest, we just felt it wasn’t distinct enough. It was way too similar to the TreeMun logo, and we wanted something that branded us. It also integrates the Tree into the name even more so than before. Now, what about the front page? We stopped trying to generalize every issue by putting up a generic photo of Pinetree and whatever event happened to be
Emily Liang / Pinetree Post
going on that month. We decided to focus on one key event and make that the cover of the issue. We’re also going to update the website (www.pinetreepost.com) on a more regular fashion to keep the site fresh with content, and be more involved in our social media presence. In this issue, we present a clean, no frills version of what’s happening in the school. The new bell schedule caused some controversy, among students and parents alike, since our school day got extended by 15 minutes. For those of you looking for clubs to join, we have a special club feature where we lay out the major clubs of the school (and a bunch of minor ones!) designed to appeal to a wide variety of interests. Finally, we have a story of extraordinary courage and determination, as Pinetree’s very own Annan Lisong and Allen Wu embarked on a cross-country trip across Canada on foot. 2
Rebecca Fu Grade 11
“I like how lunch is earlier, because I used to get so hungry during the fourth block.” Shirley Zhang Grade 11
“I hate how uneven the numbers are, I’m never going to remember them, or maybe I’m too OCD.” Coco Chen Grade 10
Read the story on P.14
4 CLUBS AT PINETREE YOU’RE WELCOME
The extended club catalogue
Interested in joining these clubs? Drop by and see if they’re your jam. A Capella
What: Choral When: Fri after school Where: Choir room A Capella is making music solely with your voice. The A Capella style of singing has been growing popularity in the recent years. You may know Pentatonix, an A Capella group that’s even gone so far as to win the Grammies. In this club, we sing covers, medleys, seasonal songs, pop songs, and many more. Beat boxers, singers, rappers, anyone is welcome to join! The club performs at the music department’s concerts, and Small Ensembles.
Alpha Wolves
What: Service When: Wed @ Lunch Where: A100 The official volunteering club of Pinetree Secondary. If you want to gain leadership skills and volunteer in various school events, then Alpha Wolves is the club for you. We help organize all school events, such as the grade 9 orientation. You can choose which events you would like to volunteer for and make new friends in the process. If you are looking for a fun way to get your volunteer hours with your friends, then come give Alpha Wolves a try!
Anime/Manga Club
What: Hobby When: Thurs @ Lunch Where: A220 Are you looking for people who share your passion of Japanese culture? Pinetree’s Anime and Manga club is the perfect place for you. In this club, members share their love towards the Japanese culture by watching, discussing, debating anime/manga, as well, playing Japanese inspired games together. At the end of the school year, we organize a Japanese-themed cafe, featuring entertainment and fun events (with food!).
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Clubs at Pinetree Book Lounge Club
What: Hobby When: Wed after school Where: Library Make sure to stress the lounge part. Book Lounge Club is a place for casual fun in the soothing atmosphere of the library. Group members may read the same book and discuss it together, all the while stuffing snacks into their faces. If you don’t have the time to read, this is a great place to discuss literature and media in general. At Book Lounge Club, everyone is encouraged to voice their thoughts and opinions without judgement. Come on over to the library to hang out and relax, socialize, or listen to some interesting conversations!
Environmental Club
What: Service When: Tues @ Lunch Where: B207 It’s our only planet, let’s take good care of it. While you were enjoying your summer break, there are many things happening in the environment around you, which you probably didn’t know about: four humpback whales were found dead in B.C. waters and greenhouse emissions are only getting worse in Vancouver. In order to save mother nature, we must understand the issues first. Join PineEco, Pinetree’s Environmental Club, to learn more about the environment and make more eco-conscious decisions. In PineEco, everyone is a leader!
First Aid Club
What: Education When: Wed @ Lunch Where: A113 The Pinetree First Aid Club helps educate students on the importance of first aid. Drop by during weekly lessons to gain new knowledge that could save a life. Topics covered include: cardiovascular emergencies, broken bones, severe bleeding, medical emergencies, and more. As well, the First Aid Club provides opportunities to gain volunteer hours and first hand experience for our members by providing first aid coverage at school events. No previous experience necessary, all are welcome!
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Clubs at Pinetree Gay-Straight Alliance
What: Education When: TBA Where: A203 GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) - come for the free food, stay for the conversation and bad puns. Casual hangout for anyone who identifies as LGBTQ+, or an ally. Need to find all the cool people at school? Want to ask a LGBTQ related question but don’t want to ask your parents/friend/teacher? Have a crush on a cute girl or guy, but not sure if you have a chance? Then GSA is the place for you- meetings are once a week, just drop by!
Hiking Club
What: Hobby When: TBA Where: TBA Do you want to explore the BC wilderness but don’t know who to go with, where to go, or what to do? Then join the Pinetree Hiking Club! You can gain volunteer hours, tons of experience, and opportunities to make new friends. The Hiking Club brings together people in a fun, friendly, and inviting atmosphere. Joining is free and we plan to do some awesome activities throughout the year, such as the Grouse Grind. Interested in joining? Come to one of the meetings, and try out a hike with the club!
Improv Club
What: Hobby When: TBA Where: Drama Room Do you have nothing to do after school? Come join the Improv Club in the Drama room for a fun time! This is not your usual Pinetree Club, this is IMPROV. If you want tips on your chem lab; don’t come here (or you could, we might be able to lend an ear)! Improv is a great way to gain skills, not only for theatre, but presentation in general. To aid this, our club teaches skills that can help you become more confident and prepared to face everyday challenges. Take a break from the drama of high school life, relax and have fun. Times and dates will be posted on the doors to the drama room for all interested.
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Clubs at Pinetree Key Club
What: Service When: Tues @ Lunch Where: A100 The Pinetree Secondary Key Club is a student-led club sponsored by Kiwanis International. It is a part of Key Club International, an organization spanning over thirty countries in the world with more than 270,000 members. Our activities include serving the school and community, and fundraising for causes such as the Eliminate Project. Key Club strives to provide students with volunteer opportunities to develop leadership and build character, all the while promoting a sense of inclusiveness.
League of Legends Club
What: Hobby When: Fri @ Lunch Where: A219 This is a club for League of Legends fans. Join us in school tournaments to win prizes! You can join either with your friends as a team or as a lone-wolf looking to play with others. It’s a great opportunity to meet new friends who share the same hobby as you. Prove your skill, stomp your enemies, earn your rewards. You can also join our subreddit at www.reddit.com/pinetreelol.
Me-to-We Club
What: Service When: Mon @ Lunch Where: B203 Me to We Club is a club that hosts events and fundraisers for campaigns created by Free the Children and Me to We. These groups, along with the club, hope to establish safe, healthy, and welleducated societies around the globe. Our campaigns, such as Halloween for Hunger, We Are Silent, and the ever-popular Krispy Kreme sales go toward meeting that exact goal. We also raise awareness about issues, and aim to empower each and every person to make the world a better place.
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Clubs at Pinetree Model UN/Debate Club
What: Hobby When: Mon @ Lunch Where: A102 The Model United Nations and Debate club is one of Pinetree’s biggest extracurricular-oriented clubsIf you would like to develop your public speaking skills or have an interest in government, then our club is right for you! In both MUN and Debate, your voice and ideas can be heard as you represent different nations and perspectives in various MUN or Debate conferences. The MUN club will help you improve your oration through mock MUNs and mock debate tournaments. We will also help you sign up for overnight MUN conferences in the heart of Downtown.
Pinetree Post
What: Newspaper When: Fri @ Lunch Where: A203 The Pinetree Post is an independent student-run newspaper that distributes one issue every month, available in both print and digital. We cover relevant topics with honest perception. Pinetree Post is an excellent way to network as we’re constantly in collaboration with other clubs. We are currently seeking business managers, social media reps, journalists, and website designers.
Principal’s Advisory Council
What: Service When: Thurs @ Lunch Where: A101 Principal’s Advisory Council is a group of passionate and motivated students who strive to make Pinetree a more fun and welcoming environment. Grade- and school-wide events such as Frost Festival, March Marvels, dances, and Grade Appreciation Days are examples of our efforts. We also provide our members with various opportunities to build leadership, develop group management and cooperation skills, practice planning, and gain other valuable experience. Please look forward to future events hosted by the Advisory Council!
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Clubs at Pinetree UNICEF
What: Service When: Fri @ Lunch Where: A209 Looking for volunteer hours? Trying to find a new club to join? Come and join the UNICEF club, an organization that supports children and mothers who are unable to afford to make a living. This is a great chance to meet new people, help make a difference and be involved with many activities such as fundraisers!
Wish Youth Network Society
What: Service When: Fri @ Lunch Where: A102 A non-profit student led organization that branches out to many schools all across the Greater Vancouver region. WYNS focuses on fundraising to help support children with serious medical conditions. Thanks to partnerships with local hospitals, the club is able to provide impactful opportunities like hospital visits, where members can interact with and spend time with affected children. We also plan many fundraising events that aim to financially support important causes, not only within the school, but also in collaboration with other schools in the region and organization.
I’m interested! How do I join?
Keep an eye out on daily announcements to determine when each club is starting up. Most clubs will hold a introduction meeting for all newbies. They will have a sign-up sheet there. If you miss this meeting or your desired club does not have one, contact someone who is already in the club, or attend the next meeting.
What is the committment like?
High school work gets busy. Sometime this year you may experience the dreaded “week from hell” when it seems that all your teachers have conspired to give tests on the same day. Will you be able to balance both schoolwork and extracurriculars? Remember that a club is not just meeting times - a lot of clubs hold fundraisers, or require planning outside of school time. As a club member you have the responsibility to commit to the work you promise to do. If you cannot contribute the time for it, backing out of a club or putting it on hold is perfectly acceptable. Clubs are very flexible.
12 EDITORIALS THE SUPERIOR EXTRACURRICULAR
Sports teams VS other clubs
Badminton: One of the most respected sports teams at Pinetree
Photo courtesy of Sd43.bc.ca
SPORTS: BECAUSE YOU’RE WORTH IT Emily Liang Huge Hypocrite Joining a sport means being truly devoted to something. Most sports teams have practices at least three times a week, plus a game. You can go to one meeting and count yourself a part of whatever club, but sports teams require full participation. In sports, hard work and integrity are compulsory tenets. People are pushed to excel in athletics out of innate motivation, not to pad their resumes. Clubs often function under bizarre hierarchies, while everyone pulls their own weight on a team. Older or more “Being athletic helps to experienced teammates raise self-confidence, a take on leadership roles rare commodity at this as mentors to their tender age.” peers. Even in solocompetition sports, training with others is crucial. Sports teams become incredibly close, made one in their mutual love for a sport. On the flipside, constant pain brought on by physical activity gravitates people to one another with
a force stronger than dark matter. If the above sounded like a gym teacher’s sermon, don’t worry: there’s a selfish bend to this too. Sports team wins boost school spirit among students and you get the honour of representing your school in competitions. Better physique than your non-sporting friends means that you can run to get the last office cookie that much faster. Being athletic helps to raise self-confidence, a rare commodity at this tender age. Sure, mental fortitude and strength of character are what really matter, but they’re much harder the show off than muscles or trophies. Sports give teenagers a way to enjoy their exercise and lead to the overall improvement of oneself in many areas by instilling values applicable in all future endeavours. The tradeoff between sports and clubs is so unfair that vegans are yelling at it. Between the commitment, teamwork, and bragging rights, sports teams profoundly club clubs over the head in superiority. This article was written by me and here are all the long words i can think of in ten seconds: diaphanous, phantasmagoria, effervescent, imahypocritebecauseiminalotofclubstoo- ,
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Editorials
It’s hard to pick a side. Many of students partake in at least one club and sport, forming the middle ground of this argument.Yet should it ever come between the two, which will you choose: clubs or sports?
Look how happy these students are to be giving back!
Photo courtesy of Erhf.org
CLUBS: A CAUSE OTHER THAN YOURSELF Elaine Gao Does Yoga Today’s teenagers are known to be overly selfabsorbed. It’s a trait that receives a lot of scorn from hardended adults that complain we’ve never been exposed to the “reality” of life, but really, teenagers aren’t to blame. After all, we’ve spent the majority of our lives so far pursuing enlightenment and thus, self-improvement through one of the most respectable education systems in the world. It’s not our fault that education is inherently a very selfish thing. This makes it easy to see why jocks are stereotypically considered to be vain and narrowminded: Since we already spend so much time on improving ourselves, how we commit the little free time we have available to us says a lot about our morals and values. Are you going to be squander this time for yourself and join a sports team, which only benefits you? Or will you broaden your perspective on the world and give back to the community that’s raised you by joining a service club? To me, the latter is obviously the more beneficial way to spend my time.
You don’t lose anything when you’re a part of a club, either. In many ways, the group dynamic you develop with your clubmates is similar to a sports team. You’re in this together, but instead of pointlessly chasing a ball up and down a field, you’re devoting your time to helping others. Additionally, you get the same giddy feeling of reward. Why do you even need to consider a sports team? Then there’s the obvious kicker: What if you just want to find an outlet for your spare time without having to suffer “Instead of pointlessly the pain of having running up and down a field, your chest ripped you’re helping others.” out of you every meeting? Clubs have so much variety even for those who just want to casually blow off some steam. There’s improv. Book lounge. League of legends. The best part is that you decide how committed you can be. Any real sports team will require at least three days after school of your time. If you’re the average high schooler with three tests and an essay due this week you were supposed to start last month, then you’ll find the more flexible committment requirements really quite helpful. ,
14 Editorials SCHEDULE REVIEW
Pinetree’s new timetable
Many students are unhappy with the new changes.
Students chime in about the new timetable. Jeff Feng Contributor
It has become common knowledge that significant changes have been made to Pinetree Secondary’s timetable, to meet the Ministry of Education’s mandated minutes of instruction. Due to need to respond quickly, Pinetree had limited consultation regarding the changes to the schedule; thus, Pinetree’s teachers and a small number of students as well as parents worked together to briefly determine a new, satisfactory schedule.
“longer days, earlier lunches, two afternoon blocks, and the removal of Nutrition Breaks.” Since there was limited consultation on the matter, they did not want to make the changes
Photo courtesy of Ubyssey.com
extremely severe, and tried reducing alterations to the schedule; thus, start times remained consistent from last year. However, evident changes were made such as longer school days, equal block durations, earlier lunches, two afternoon blocks, and the removal of Nutrition Breaks. Despite the meaningful intentions of the rapid changes, students will have their own opinions on the matter, whether they are positive or negative. Coco Chen (grade ten) has spoken against the longer school day and the removal of Nutrition Breaks, as well as despises the uneven and unusual numbers for timing. Rebecca Fu (grade eleven) also questions the removal of Nutrition Breaks, and “personally thinks that students should get a nut-break, even if it is just ten minutes because it allows students to recharge and prepare for other classes.” However, she does “tolerate the longer school hours since it is a requirement.” Phil Wong (grade eleven) mainly dislikes the removal of both Nutrition Breaks and long blocks. He “feels that breaks are useful. It is a mental break for those stressful days, whether the cause is from school or from outside of school. It is also a good time to talk to teacher and review things over, as well as make corrections.” As for long blocks, he finds that
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Editorials the “extra time we have in class is useful. I have extra time to quickly finish quizzes, tests, essays, and homework questions. Though it was a long, hour and forty-five minute block, it made a difference when I had deadlines to meet and exams to write. Also, with no more long blocks, teachers may have a tougher time trying to help students individually because during long blocks, teachers could help fix the little details in our work that we missed.” Jegan Ganesan (grade twelve) states that “the new timetable is definitely not preferred because there will be no nut-break.” He also comments on the removal of a long block; “there is also no possibility of ending school at 12:50 unless I have two back to back off blocks, and there is no chance for ‘special activities’ that require more time during classes.” However, he observes some benefits to the change including “not being in a class I don’t enjoy for too long, an extended lunch 2 days a week (possibly more depending on how many off blocks I get), and an earlier lunch. Overall it is not a preferred change but it could be worse.” Shirley Zhang (grade eleven) has mixed views and sees positives to the change, as well as negative aspects. She states that, “Though long blocks are useful when it comes to chemistry labs and tests, sometimes they are too long, especially when I don’t like a particular course, which would make one afternoon in every week extremely dreadful. Also, I like how lunch is earlier because I used to get so hungry during the fourth period.” On the other hand, she also states that, “One aspect that I don’t like is that we don’t have nut-breaks anymore. Also, each period ends at an odd time which will be difficult to remember. Additionally, I feel like teachers are just going to teach until 9:15 or 10:35, and we will end up having shorter breaks in between classes”. Overall, she summarizes that “I guess I don’t like the new schedule too much, but earlier lunch times and no more long blocks are important and positive changes.” Overall, apart from the varying opinions regarding the new schedule, the changes were mandatory, and intended to improve education at Pinetree. The principals ask for patience and understanding regarding the changes, and will start a formal process of developing teacher committees and consulting students as well as parents in the fall. This way, Pinetree can explore other options and develop an ideal schedule for the 2016-2017 year. 7
ANONYMOUS ADVICE
Ask Felix
Not written by anyone actually named Felix. Felix Columnist
Dear Felix, Why are you using the name Felix for your ask column when your name isn’t even Felix? Isn’t that lying? Also, that’s my name. Why is this happening? --A Real Felix A Real Felix, I don’t see the problem here. I’m openly admitting that my name isn’t Felix. Acknowledgement of the pseudonym is a form of truth in paradoxically clear obfuscation. I’m guessing that you didn’t come here for riddles and words with more than ten letters, though. Sure, Felix isn’t my name, but “Ask Felix” is just about the catchiest title for an ask column. Felix is an unassuming mononym, but being capped off with an X adds just a hint of intrigue. Not to mention, there’s a pretty slick cartoon with a cat named Felix in it, which is great. As for “why”, Pinetree Post is in sore need of an ask column. We just don’t interact with our readers enough! Let’s build that connection one vague and confusing reply at a time. So send in your questions, concerns, pleas for advice, ominous venting, and cryptic clues for a nationwide treasure hunt to thepinetreepost@gmail.com. I promise that my answers will be simply sophisticated, or my name is Felix. Sincerely, Not Felix 5
16 HUMOUR CLASSLESS REVIEWS OF THE CLASSICS
2001: A couch expedition Not the movie to watch postwisdom tooth extraction. Emily Liang Featured Columnist It is oft said that consumption of the classics makes people more intelligent, or at least more “cultured”. Although this sentence implies that I should be gorging myself on Charlotte Brontë paperbacks or glazing my creme brulées with the DVD remains of Tarkovsky’s films, I don’t think the library that I borrow these materials from would appreciate teeth marks on their collection. And so my quest to become the resident connoisseur of all things artful and pre-2000 doesn’t include me literally eating a book. Sorry to disappoint. Today’s revered victim is Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey, which seems to make my “pre2000” comment a blatant lie, but the film was actually released in 1968, so I’m right (as usual). The movie opens with 5 minutes of pitch black and some scary buzzing music. I recall wondering if I’d accidentally borrowed the Saw DVD, and also how scary night bees would be(e). Eventually, the darkness gave way into the dawn. Literally. The first act of 2001 shows the beginnings of humanity as a tribe of apes in an African desert. They kind of suck at life until a black rectangle shows up and gives one of them an epiphany. The pitch-black rectangle, or “monolith”, looked more like a hole in the movie than an object in the apes’ environment, which I think might have been the point. I was too busy checking for bees again to know. The newlyinspired ape uses a bone… to kill another ape. Not exactly sure what Kubrick was trying to say about mankind in the simultaneous discovery of tools and murder. The next act is decidedly less NatGeo in nature. Definitely more NASA. We’ve skipped right
Probably not one of my baby photos.
Courtesy of Hollywood.com
over the tale of apes developing a judicial system, to the year 2001, when space travel/exploration is common and bone murder less so. Dr. Heywood Floyd is an important dude on a space plane to a space place on the space moon. We learn that there is an epidemic on the moon that is very hush-hush. And then five minutes later we learn that the moon epidemic was just a cover up for something even more hush-hush. This is why I can’t trust people who make me append their name with “Dr.”. It turns out that this particular hush is so hushed that something buried it on the moon four million years ago. When the big reveal comes, it’s… it’s… it’s another monolith. And this one screams when it sees the light, much like me. Months later, Dave Bowman and Frank Poole are shooting off towards Jupiter with three hibernating scientists and a computer named HAL 9000 (his friends call him Hal) in tow. After watching Kubrick’s AI a year back, I had high expectations for Hal, and boy did he live up. I’m going to be honest with you, the robot was probably the most human character, given that the actual humans had conversations comparable to wet sawdust in a cereal bowl. Unfortunately, Hal begins to break down, and even kills Poole when he sends the astronaut out to fix a part of the spacecraft that wasn’t even broken (unlike Hal). Hal also turns off
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Humour the life support for the sleeping scientists, bringing his murder tally to four. Before he can make it five, Bowman decides to take matters into his own hands, because there’s no space judicial system yet. He disconnects Hal permanently, and Hal creepily sings himself to robot death. I did not cry at this moment. In the usual third (fourth?) act twist, it turns out that Floyd lied again and that his mission was not to get to Jupiter and brag about it, but to figure out why the moon monolith was transmitting signals towards Jupiter. As it happens, there’s another monolith near Jupiter. At this point, I was sure they were the space equivalent of McDonalds. There’s no one around for Bowman to brutally beat with a thigh bone, so the monolith sends him hurtling across space with some cool green-screen effects for company. When the psychedelic light show stops, Bowman gets to see differently aged versions of himself hanging around some seriously Neoclassical decor. Bowman can’t enjoy the 17th century comforts for long, because a monolith disrupts the scene with its minimalistic postmodern neoplasticism. As soon as he reaches out to touch it, he becomes a floating fetus within an amniotic sac of pure space looking upon earth with infantile wisdom. Or maybe that’s just how fetuses look at everything. I wouldn’t know. I was never a fetus. I’m not going to lie, I couldn’t watch the whole thing through the first time. I got my wisdom teeth out on the same day. I thought I was ready, but then the painkillers wore off and I was not. There’s something so infuriating about 2001 in its ambiguity and dead silence. The grand scale that the film succeeded in capturing was magnificent in itself. It was like watching the entire Nietzsche bibliography brought to screen. I’ve been told that this movie was seminal in film-making, yet I’d never seen anything like it in modern cinema, absolutely stunning, both visually and thematically. By that, I mean I didn’t really get it (I blame my orthodontist for stealing all of my wisdom). Why the classical music? Why the stale characters? Why that really long shot of a stewardess serving Floyd space soup? To this day, 2001 is still a mystery to me, much like the great mystery of humanity, the universe, and destiny that it portrayed. Maybe that’s the point. Or maybe I’m just really bad at this. Words just can’t describe the experience of watching this film; you have to do your own suffering. Either way, kudos to you, Kubrick. That was a trip indeed, and an excellent way to flex your visual effects budget. Besides, your version of the year 2001 is way better than the real year, when I was definitely not a fetus. .
“I was never a fetus.”
PURR PROPOGANDA
The five commeow-ments Allow me to introduce you to the principals of commeownism. Chaircat Meow Columnist I think it’s safe to say that felines are, without a doubt, the most ruthlessly efficient world conquerors in the running. After all, how many other species can claim to have found the perfect functioning political idealogy that prospers so naturally we can spend most of our lives napping? You bipedal dolphins certainly can’t. You spend laughable amounts of time and energy arguing complex philosophical nuances, when the clear answer to your woes is a simple concept: Serve. 1. Everything you own is actually mine. 2. No time is wasted on deciding who runs your house because I do. 3. Technically I gave you everything you own. Because I own it. Which means now you owe me everything you own. Which is already mine. Funny thing- It seems to me you’ll be in my debt for the rest of my life. 4. You’ll love and serve me no matter how many things I break. 5. If you insist on resisting catriarchal rule, eventually I’m gonna have to kill you. .
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Humor
EMILY LIANG’S
Sticks and squares™ "SUMMER" JUNE
JULY
AUGUST AA A
A
SEPTEMBER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAA AAAA AAA
A
AAAAA AAA A
AAA
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EMILY LIANG
"NEW LOOK" THERE'S SOMETHING HEY, WE DIFFERENT ABOUT EXIST AGAIN! THIS, BUT I CAN'T PUT MY FINGER ON IT...
STOCK CHARA. 1
WELL, MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE WE DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE FINGERS YET.
STOCK CHARA. 1
WE'RE STILL BOXED IN, THOUGH.
THIS IS... SOMETHING. STILL NO FINGERS THOUGH. PROBABLY A STYLISTIC CHOICE.
STOCK CHARA. 1
STOCK CHARA. 2
FIGURES.* NOT SURE HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS NEW STYLE. IT'S PRETTY FLAT.
STOCK CHARA. 2
STOCK CHARA. 2
ROUNDED RECTANGLE PANEL BOXES? REALLY?! WHAT KIND OF SQUARE DESIGNED THIS? I MISS THE FREEHAND SQUIGGLES.
STOCK CHARA. 2
STOCK CHARA. 1
ARE THESE VECTORS WE LOOK OR SOMETHING? THIS STYLE IS SO SMOOTH! DIFFERENT NOW TOO! SORTA.
STOCK CHARA. 2
STOCK CHARA. 1
I THINK KEVIN'S GOT THAT TAKEN CARE OF. CLASSIC KEVIN.
UH...
STOCRKA. CHA 1
*
STICK FIGURES, THAT IS.
STOCK CHARA. 2
STOCK CHARA. 1
STOCK CHARA. 2
STOCK CHARA. 1
K STOACRA. CH 2
SON OF A GORDIAN KNOT!
EMILY LIANG
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EVENTS AND NOTICES Sunday
Monday
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September 2015 Tuesday
Wednesday
1
6 Labour Day 7 School Starts!
Thursday
2 Grade 9 3 photo day and orientation
8 Photo Day 9
Friday
Saturday
4
5
10
11
12
17
13
14
15
16
18
19
20
21
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23 Terry Fox 24 Pro-D-Day 25 Run Senior Sail Prnt-Tchr Interviews
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27 Planning 10 28 during off block starts
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ADVERTISE HERE The Pinetree Post is now selling advertising space for local businesses and club/school events on its website as well as in the print copy. We average about 3000 visits a month to our website and we have a readership the size of Pinetree Secondary-around 1300 students. The prices for ads are as follows: $10 for a credit card-sized ad $15 for a banner size ad $20 for a half page ad $35 for a full page ad
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YEARBOOK FEES You’ll notice in the following few days that you might have to pay yearbook fees along with your student fees, if you’re astute and you don’t just shove the invoice at your parents. Should you even buy a yearbook? You’re defininetly broke- which is code for “you’d rather squander your money for food later”. Am I insulting you with the truth? Let’s put our differences aside and just agree that you should definitely purchase a yearbook! This year, you’ll get a full colour book commemorating the wonders of our beloved principal, all for just a little more than a full page ad in this paper. 250 pages! You decide.
First Aid Club (see page 5)
MAIN LEVEL
Kool-Aid packets not included.
Bike Racks (see page 10) The story behind two students who cycled across North America.
The Office (see all pages)
A113
Birthplace of this issue you hold.
Alpha Wolves (see page 4) How’ll you even get in?
Gymnasium (see page 12) Sports vs Clubs, which is worth your time?
Key Club (see page 7)
A100 A102
Drama Room
WYNS (see page 9)
Choir Room
The door is usually unlocked.
MUN/Debate (see page 8) Fight club sans punching.
A Capella (see page 4)
You’re a wynner!
Precisely one capella.
Improv Club (see page 6) No histrionics, yes dramatics.
Enviro. Club (see page 5)
The green room.
A209
Me-to-We (see page 7)
UNICEF Club (see page 9)
Don’t go alone.
Grand prize for longest acronym.
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A220
Library
UPPER LEVEL
LOL Club (see page 7) Not even joking.
Book Club (see page 5) Where else?
A202
Pinetree Post (see page 8)
Where the magic happens.
G-S Alliance (see page 6) G is for great, S is for super.
Anime Club (see page 4) I couldn’t fit manga there too.