The Wealth Issue SEPTEMBER 2016 | Series No. 4, Issue No. 2
Give (and Receive!) More with
ALSO
Melissa Camilleri
O P E N UP • S HA RE YOUR MEMORI ES • SHOP SMART
We believe in choosing, embracing, unleashing, and celebrating who you've always been – who you already are – who you want to be.
Be YOU...the Perpetual You.
L E T T E R from our E D I T O R
THE
relation to the amount of time I’ve taken for myself. Through self-care, I cultivate peace of mind and patience.
T H E OF F I CE
The Perpetual You 101 Putnam Ave. Hamden, CT 06517
T H E LI ST
To receive each issue of the magazine directly to your inbox, join our mailing list at: theperpetualyou.com/read.
I
once relished the fact that I was labeled “selfish” among my friends and family. I was the champion of self-preservation, which—though an important part of my emotional development—meant I was unable to be authentically generous to anyone else.
T H E COM M U N I T Y
Look for us on on social media @theperpetualyou.
T H E CORRE CT I ON S
In our July 2016 issue, we mistakenly attributed our main style photo; thanks goes out to @flytographerinsta instead! We also misidentified two of our wellbeing toolkit items Lemongrass was the suggested oil, while Skullcap was the recommended herb.
The PERPETUAL YOU
How ironic, then, that my life’s purpose now consists of contributing to the lives of others. Whether editing an article on intuitive eating, coordinating the design of one of our new marketplace products, or writing authentic social media posts while also listening to our latest cover story interview, every devoir I put my heart and soul into is for YOU, lovely reader. Also ironic: by becoming a mother – a role typically synonymous with selfsacrifice – I discovered that generosity and being “selfish” are not exclusive. In fact, my capacity to give of myself to others shrinks or grows in direct
As recently as last year, my feelings about “back to school” included stress, anxiety, sadness, and fear. While I won’t promise not to get teary-eyed when my now third grader steps on that big yellow bus, viewing September with an abundant mindset is a gift I’m giving myself. I have control of my feelings. I command the way in which I approach the additional tasks and how I respond to the added structure in my day. Whether I’m minding children or running this magazine, my mindset has a greater influence on what I can accomplish than does anything so immoveable as the number of hours in any given day. Is it possible to feel both lighter and more full at the same time? Because I do.
lee lee p.s. Feeling generous? Show your support by making a monthly pledge on our Patreon page.
That’s what I consider true generosity. You give your all, and yet you feel as if it costs you nothing. – SIMONE DE BEAUVOIR
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SHOP N OW
Shop the Marketplace The Perpetual You's curated marketplace of responsibly-made, small batch goods is online! theperpetualyou.com/the-marketplace
Collaborate with Us
The Perpetual You offers coaches + creatives the opportunity to showcase their work and/or viewpoint to an audience of women who value intentional living, purposeful buying, and thoughtful growth. The PERPETUAL YOU
Visit our website to find out how you can collaborate with us.
IN THIS ISSUE
by
Create Wealth Embracing Generosity The W E A LT H I S S U E
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SOCIALIZE WITH US
Realize Encourage abundance through the practice of generosity, toward self and others. Try that skincare line you’ve been eyeing; taste a new cocktail. Share a healthy snack, or a worthy book. Go on that trip you’ve been meaning to take, and give yourself permission to dress comfortably while there!
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Dwell Express yourself and your desire for abundance by building on what you have, appreciating what you need, and accessorizing your home with the stuff that matters: classic accoutrements, found items, and collected memories. The PERPETUAL YOU
M O N T H LY M U S I C
Up your abundant mindset potential by listening to our "Money on My Mind" playlist.
Embrace Embrace the compliment, that phrase or gesture that can brighten someone’s
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day or spark a new conversation or even gain you a new friend; with Melissa Camilleri, owner of Compliment Jewelry.
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Live Envision a life in which you have enough. Enough self-belief to be who you want to be. Enough time to do what you need to do. And enough abundance (and courage) to find what you need to find—right under your own roof. The W E A LT H I S S U E
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SOCIALIZE WITH US
THE MAKERS
Our makers are abundant in spirit and rich in talent. Gratitude + Friendship goes out to these ladies.
Lindsey
Lindsay
Cover Story Photographer
Dwell Feature Photographer
@thejoyarchival thejoyarchival.com
@lindsay_stanford lindsaystanford.com
Lindsey is a lifestyle portrait photographer passionate about capturing the joy and beauty of everyday life. She loves how the camera lets her tell stories in the honest, unscripted moments through her documentary-style approach. Currently she lives in Sacramento with her husband and puppy named Chandler.
Lindsay is a CT-based photographer and fashion blogger. She specializes in styled sessions, fashion, weddings, portraiture, and landscapes. Past clients have included Bumble & Bumble, Artifact Uprising, Roof Top 120, North Detail, Dwell Magazine, Mieroglyphsapparel, and Stella & Dot.
The PERPETUAL YOU
P.K.
Lianne
Micayla
Proofreader
Editor
Book Editor
Connect on Facebook.
@hilodaisy
@uggly_mugg zucchiniontheceiling.com
Sarah
Becca
Leah
Collaborating Photographer
Collaborating Photographer
Contributing Photographer
@sarahannfowlerphotography sarahannfowlerphotography.weebly.com
@nyssaphotography nyssaphotography.com
@graykammera graykammera.com
Willy
Nancy
Sietske
Contributing Photographer
Contributing Artist
Contributing Artist
@lifeunstill dayinthelifeunstill.com
@arabesque.art.design arabesqueartdesign.com
@sietske_vd_meij sietskevandermeij.nl
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SOCIALIZE WITH US
THE TEAM
Lee Lee
Jessie
Creative Director & Managing Editor
Art Director
@leeleeinp
@littlelegendsdesign createlittlelegends.com
The Lee Lee is the #ladyboss of The Perpetual You. A writer by trade, designer by heart, and mother by choice, she seeks intentional practices and a positive mindset. If you’re near Hamden, CT, she welcomes you to stop by her front porch.
Jessie is a multi-disciplinary designer & art director striving to make her world more pixel-perfect. When she's not poring over mockups, she can be found singing (loudly) in her car or compulsively buying striped shirts.
Kay & Amy
Kirsten
Staff Photographers
Senior Designer
@walkerstudiosllc walkerstudiosllc.com
@paperandfern kirstenmariedesign.com
Amy and Kay Walker traverse New England and beyond chasing sunsets, circling dance floors, capturing tears & laughter, all in the pursuit of preserving stories of love, friendship, and family.
Kirsten is a designer, illustrator, and lover of plants. When she's not creating whimsical botanical drawings in the wee hours, she enjoys sleeping, sipping buttery chardonnays, or watching Cary Grant movies.
The PERPETUAL YOU
to align your daily practices with your ever-evolving desires
A R T W O R K by @ A R A B E S Q U E . A R T . D E S I G N
The PERPETUAL YOU
T H E L A DY
Anne Sullivan Anne Sullivan (1866 - 1936) was an American teacher best known for being the instructor of Helen Keller. Her patient but persistent guidance with Helen led to the championing of education for the deaf and blind all over the world. More than just a fitting choice for our back-to-school issue, Anne is the epitome of generosity leading to abundance.
I L L U S T R A T I O N by @ S I E T S K E _ V D _ M E I J
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Share Your Dream with Marie Lexa The PERPETUAL YOU
REALIZE
The greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions – MARTHA WASHINGTON
To bring abundance into your life, fully commit to your vision. By shifting your mindset in a way that makes the outcome a non-negotiable, you no longer need to worry about whether you will get what you want, only how to get there.
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n the early stages of my business, I was still very unclear on my focus. I dabbled with various strategies and found it a challenge to overcome my fear of visibility. By replacing my feelings of fear with courage, my world opened up. Because of this hesitation, I didn’t share my ideas or progress with anybody - not even my boyfriend. I would shut my laptop as soon as he came near me, to hide what I was working on. I even went to an allday networking conference, business cards in hand, without mentioning it to him. When asked “what I did” for a living, my go-to answer was that I was still trying to figure things out. If I couldn’t discuss my business with the person closest to me, how would I share it with the rest of the world? During this time period, my results were mediocre at best. I was not attracting the wealth I wished for because I was not yet ready to change my mindset, to overcome my barriers, or to leave my comfort zone of self-protection. By not sharing my dream with anyone, I was keeping myself from the very life I wanted to live.
To make my success a non-negotiable outcome, I had to stop worrying about the reaction of others. This meant a shift in my mindset, work I continue to do even today. The first step was to get over my fear of visibility; when I started sharing openly with those closest to me, their support was so much stronger than I could have wished for. Their reaction allowed me to be proud and confident about what I do. I went to networking events and started getting comfortable with putting myself out there as the expert that I am: I have a background to leverage and have invested in the necessary resources and coaching to get to where I want to be. Once I started marketing myself properly, in real life and via social media, I started making connections that led to fruition of my dream. What was it that made me share of myself and my dream, after living in fear of discovery for so long? Simply put, I made a choice. Revealing my dream
continued on next page
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Start Today Sharing your dream with others can encourage accountability, but you’re still the ultimate source where bravery to act will be found. Be generous to yourself so that, when you need to draw from your own well, you’ll have the reserves in place to do so.
Allow Growth. As the season changes, look for small adjustments you can make to ease the transition. In this month’s Beauty Article (page 32), Leigh suggests refreshing your beauty routine; and our Product Spread (page 26) provides lots of ideas for how you might embrace the back-to-school season intentionally.
Get Comfy.
hasn’t always been easy, but it would have been a lot harder to stay where I was, living in regret, continually thinking "what if?" Fear is just a feeling, and it’s one you can replace with courage. Maybe you’re not an entrepreneur like myself, but I’m sure you have a dream. If you are waiting on the perfect time to share that dream with the world, like I once did, I encourage you to stop waiting and start sharing of yourself and your dream. As you do this, your fear will turn into excitement that you can leverage to create amazing things, and bring about the life you deserve. Once you have shared your dream, you will start seeing results because you are now fully open to realizing them. The first step out of your comfort zone is the most difficult, but then that zone starts to expand. The support of others can spur you on to dream bigger and to set higher goals. This cycle of fruition is limitless, as are you.
Marie Lexa is the founder of the empowering brand Women’s Wellth. Connect with her on Instagram @womenswellth or Facebook.
The PERPETUAL YOU
How do you remain yourself when everything around is in sway? Get some tips from Ashley, our Wellbeing contributor, on being in the moment—wherever you are (see page 34). Then turn to page 36 to find out which wardrobe item our Style Writer, Caitie, suggests pairing with your presentness.
Take a Leap. When you’re ready to go ahead and follow your dream, your heart will let you know. In the meantime, gain some inspiration from our new Travel Spread. Jump to page 29 and you’ll see a beautiful photo essay by fellow dream-chaser, Kristi Beisecker.
Keep up with all our book suggestions by following us on Pinterest. TEXTBOOKS ON GENEROSITY
The Abundance
Money A Love Story
The Country of the Pointed Firs
by Annie Dillard, Pub. 2016
by Kate Northrup, Pub. 2013
by Sarah Orne Jewett, Pub. 1896
Annie Dillard’s The Abundance gives us a generous helping of her unique way of seeing the world. In these essays— as diverse as they are divine—life is transformed, reduced, and expanded in every sentence. The ability to truly marvel at something is often left behind in our rushed way of living, but Dillard’s book reminds us that wealth comes to those who slow their pace, and choose to look upon this earth through a generous lens.
The practical, financial aspects of wealth are often the most stress-inducing ones in our lives. How do we be generous with a resource so fleeting? Feelings of lack and ambivalence towards money are exactly what Kate Northrup aims to remedy with this guide book. In it, she nudges us towards richer lives through very practical strategies — an essential read for anyone who believes generosity and wealth are related concepts.
In Sarah Orne Jewett’s engaging writing, her characters often take precedence over plot. In this celebrated work of short fiction, we visit a small fishing village in coastal Maine, and meet a beautiful community that exemplifies the sort of wealth money can't buy. By reading these gems, you’re sure to fall in love with Jewett’s landscapes, as well as its inhabitants—rich cultivators of generous practices.
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Thanks is what multiplies the joy and makes any life large, and I hunger for it. – ANN VOSKAMP
The PERPETUAL YOU
E M B R AC E A
Simple Snack with Rachel Haas
Enjoying the goodness of homemade food doesn’t have to mean hours spent over the stove or complicated recipes with hard-to-find ingredients. Even the simplest of snack foods can provide nourishment and energy, and allow you a moment to breathe, and appreciate what you have.
I
n this world of themed bento boxes and color-coordinated snacking, it can be refreshing and uplifting to touch base with the way things used to be done: a simple, warm snack that’s perfect for a reprieve, with just enough protein to get everyone through until dinner. At my house, we call this dish “toad in the hole.” Sometimes the most filling ingredients are also the simplest: the sizzle of butter in a skillet, a cracked egg, fresh pepper from a grinder. Pair this homey, satisfying dish with glasses of milk for them, a glass of wine for you. Before digging in, encourage the kids to take a deep breath. Pause, and then taste the food.
Back-to-school so often becomes synonymous with rush and hurry, with fast and frozen and shoveled bites, with exhausted parents tumbling into bed still feeling a week behind. To keep this from becoming the season where nourishment takes a backseat, rediscover the simple beauty in a homemade, beautifully uncomplicated snack.
Feast on more of Rachel's food experiences at her Instagram @rlhaaswriter or on Facebook. Photo courtesey of @jaynacowal.
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REALIZE
The PERPETUAL YOU
A B I T T E R SW E E T
Cocktail If you’ve been searching for a tried + true way to bring gin into September, look no further than the Salty Dog.
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he ingredients are simple: gin, grapefruit juice, ice cubes, and salt, but the flavor is surprising and complex. The first sip will taste much like digging into half a grapefruit does; keep going, though, and you’ll discover a hint of the sweet amidst all that bitter. Whether salting the ice cubes or the rim, you need a generous helping to make the drink taste as pleasurable as it looks. Using pink grapefruit juice is friendlier to the palate and spices up the color palette too!
Keep up with all of our cocktail suggestions by following us on Pinterest
Endings are bittersweet; none more so than saying good-bye to carefree, happy summer. Honor the pleasant memory of summer by mixing up this bittersweet but taste-full cocktail.
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Thank you! We would like to thank Bon Vivant Cafe in Del Ray, Virginia for allowing us to photograph in their store. The PERPETUAL YOU
E M B R AC E
Grocery Shopping Procuring a week’s worth of groceries (or more!) isn’t just another daily task we must cross off the list – grocery shopping actually takes the same skills a trip to the gym would require: dexterity, flexibility, perseverance, and strength. Not to mention the mental acuity that’s required for an efficient grocery trip. Pay attention to, and give yourself credit for, all the actions you perform while shopping. From reaching for items on the highest shelf to chasing down your toddler in the aisles to loading and unloading your culinary goods, you aren’t just securing healthy food for a bustling family; you’re getting a full body workout!
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E M B R AC E N EW
The PERPETUAL YOU
REALIZE
Intentional generosity includes meeting your own needs, and intentional consumerism means recognizing when The 2016 Dwell Shopping Guide is also on Pinterest! Click here to follow our board.
making a purchase will bring increased ease, wealth, fun, or joy to you and your family.With that in mind, we’ve curated our second online shopping guide— focusing this time around on products for the home that can bring you peace of mind during the transition back-to-school. New kitchen routines can quickly slip into more of the same. Keep the chaos interesting with whimsical hand towels or a conversation-worthy ceramic bowl. Enjoy walking through your entryway (even for the 100th time today!) by adding special accessories, like a sweet-smelling soy candle or a trinket dish as stunning as it is simple. Set up a study area that focuses on the lighter side of life. Fun supplies, like a confidence-boosting notebook and a grammar positive print, radiate happiness and encourage focus. During transitional periods, rules can fall by the wayside. Buy products for the kids’ rooms that encourage cleanliness and promote responsibility, like organic room & air spray. Hanging out is a valuable counterbalance to the busy school schedule; encourage this by filling the family room with durable pieces, like a recycled rug or a pillow in a washable fabric. Take advantage of the popularity of natural products, like plant-based detergent and chemical free dryer balls, to make the laundry room a kid-friendly place. Visit our Dwell Shopping Guide online.
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Handmade modern heirlooms for your home
Modern ar t inspired jewelr y for the mildly rebellious flow-goer
casaandcodesign.com
leocadiak.com
Soy Candles | Ar t | Home
Handmade Leather Travel Notebooks
raynehomedecor.com
redpentravelers.com
The PERPETUAL YOU
REALIZE
S E P T E M B E R T R AV E L P H O T O E S S AY
Greve in Chianti with Kristi Beisecker
When was the last time you visited somewhere and 'lived like a local'? Vacations play an important role in our culture, but giving yourself permission to Travel Slow—to really immerse yourself in another land or culture—offers the additional benefits of authenticity, awareness, and a deeper connection to the world at large.
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2
summers ago I was accepted into an artist-in-residence program in Greve in Chianti, Italy.
I stayed there for a month, carrying out my project, which was related to native flora in the Tuscan hills.
My afternoons where filled with long, hot walks through the Tuscan hills looking at plant specimens, for my studio. My evenings were filled with photo-making, slow dining, reading and relaxation
The PERPETUAL YOU
In Italy, the locals build slowing down into their day, whether relaxing for siesta or conversing at a leisurely meal. I’m grateful that I, too, was able to travel “slow.”
By spending over three weeks in one location,
Read More
I was able to learn about the culture, make
Read more about Kristi’s
connections and friends, and to establish
time in Italy on The
a relationship to the countryside.
Perpetual You blog.
Photos & Words by Kristi Becisecker, founder and designer of K Glyphics. Follow her journey @kglyphics.
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REALIZE
Embrace the New with Leigh Schwab
Transform the practice of buying into the spirit of giving by refreshing your habits and replenishing your beauty supplies!
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easonal changes often lead to a change in daily routines. Children are going back to school, a whole new crop of responsibilities shows up at work, and the weather begins to turn cool and crisp. Embrace this season of renewal by assessing whether any of your personal care habits and products could use an update. I love buying new products and typically use the change in season as an excuse to spice up my beauty routines; for example, a new lip color to match the warm fall tones in my wardrobe or a heavier body lotion to ready my skin for the upcoming change in weather.
The PERPETUAL YOU
BeYOUtiful
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Generosity doesn’t have to be over-the-top. Making a few small updates to your usual beauty routine can help you embrace the new season with ease.
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Treat As cooler weather becomes more frequent, your face will likely crave moisture. Add a face oil or hydrating serum before your moisturizer, or try a new moisturizer that has added hydration built in.
* Leigh recommends One Love Organic’s Oh Mega or Vitner’s Daughter Active Botanical Serum
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Shop
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Something as simple as a new lotion or hand soap can make you love your bathroom all over again. A classic floral fragrance can be pleasantly nostalgic; a fruity scent typically enlivens your mood.
* Leigh recommends Sapadilla Hand Soap in Grapefruit & Bergamot or Beautycounter’s Rose Neroli Hand Cream
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Splurge Embracing new processes helps us embrace the new season. If you’re feeling particularly generous, try out an entirely new skincare line. To realize full benefits, stick with the process for the recommended amount of time!
* Leigh recommends Beautycounter’s Face Collection or Tata Harper’s Best Sellers Collection
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Whether you are looking to add to your routine, replace your whole routine, or just revamp select products, the shift from summer to fall is a refreshing time to start anew. By including yourself in the back-to-school frenzy, you’ll feel rejuvenated and ready to meet the needs of others.
You can learn more about Leigh’s passion for a healthy and simple life on Facebook and Instagram.
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REALIZE
September's Self-Care Toolkit
Ashwagandha Sweet Basil Amazonite Hathor
E M B R AC E
Appreciation with Ashley Dees
The PERPETUAL YOU
Right now is the only time that exists but we can get easily caught up in the past or the future. When we put down our phones, open our eyes, and really see the world we are living in, gratitude pours out of us. This month’s toolkit is about embracing life and giving freely—to ourselves and to others.
H E RB
ESSE N TI AL O IL
CRYSTAL
GO D D ESS
Ashwagandha
Sweet Basil
Amazonite
Hathor
B E N E F I TS
BE N E FI TS
BENEFITS
BENE FITS
helps in stressful situations
calms + brings clarity
encourages trust + surrender
guides you while nurturing
A
shwagandha, a classic Indian Ayurvedic herb, is both energizing and relaxing, so it can help you adapt to stressful situations. Take it daily to increase energy, promote restful sleep, increase sexual chi, and reduce stress. To make Ashwagandha chai, mix one tablespoon into warm coconut milk; add cinnamon, cardamom, clove, and black pepper. Sweet basil is calming and brings clarity to the mind, which can help relieve stress, ease headaches and relieve pain. With a shelf life of 5 years, this oil is a good one to keep around. Mix 5 drops of sweet basil with 5 drops of lavender in one ounce of coconut oil and use as a neck massage oil. Amazonite is a soft, attractive stone meaning "Green long stone." The gentle stone Amazonite has healing properties and encourages trust & surrender. Carry it with you to soften rigidity, judgment, and criticism— of yourself and others—or when you want to better express generosity and gratitude.
The sun goddess, Hathor, is represented with the head of a cow to symbolize sacred milk-giving life. Her message to us is, “Allow yourself to receive that which will increase your intuition, energy, and ability to give to others.” Call upon her to help guide you when nurturing yourself and others. When we focus on the future, the to-do list, or the minutia of daily life, we can miss what is right before our eyes. Through truly appreciating the present moment and cultivating mindfulness, we can better nourish our soul, our families, and our community.
Learn more about Ashley, and how she teaches and gathers goddesses together at her website. Ashwagandha photo courtesy of Neha Vindhya Sweet basil photo courtesty of @catballou24 Amazonite photo courtesy of @universeprovides
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REALIZE
Embrace Self-Generosity with Caitie Sherrick
Planning your outfits around your heart’s needs helps you relax and recharge as you go about your day.
S
elf-care is a basic need, yet the idea of giving to ourselves can be overwhelming. While self-care can mean hour-long massages or sleeping 12 hours every night, it can also mean doing a few small things throughout your day to make sure your needs are met. Try incorporating this philosophy of being generous to yourself into something you already do; like, getting dressed. When you’re deciding what to wear, be generous to yourself. Take the extra minute to accessorize your otherwise basic outfit for dinner tonight. Leave time to wash your favorite shirt for tomorrow’s meeting. Wear your most comfortable shoes to your next playdate. Pay a few extra dollars for the softer sweater.
The PERPETUAL YOU
Embrace Moccasins
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Comfortable and stylish, moccasins are the perfect casual shoe to take you into autumn.
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Alone Moccasins can elevate and ground your daytime look. Whether drinking your morning cup of coffee at home or on-the-go, start with relaxed and comfortable pants, then throw on a simple t-shirt and your moccasins.
Pictured: moccasins, soft pants, black t-shirt, Leocadia K. Turquoise Fringe Necklace
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One-on-One Moccasins can be both beautiful and comfortable. For your next outing with a friend or playdate with your toddler, pair moccasins with some skinny jeans and your favorite button down.
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Pictured: moccasins, skinny jeans, button down, Leocadia K. Giant Mala Necklace
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In a Crowd Moccasins keep your feet comfy and stylish whether the temp is hot or cold. For your next baseball game or backyard bonfire, pair cutoffs with a favorite tee/tank, and bring along a cardigan.
Pictured: moccasins, cutoffs, gray t-shirt, cardigan, Leocadia K. Eclipse necklace
3 Mindfully taking care of ourselves in this way allows us to feel fulfilled and abundant. From this place, we can we be authentic and selfless. When acting from a place of self-generosity, daily tasks, like getting the kids ready for school, go more smoothly. Just like that, smiling at a stranger in the grocery line is easy. Even teaching your mom how to use Instagram becomes fun and silly. Be generous to yourself and you will have the time to be available for those who need you most, the energy to be more engaged with the world around you, and the space to bring more of what you need into your own life.
For more of Caitie's modern-art inspired jewelry and relaxed style tips, visit LeocadiaK.com. The W E A LT H I S S U E
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P E R S P E C T I V E S from T H E PA N E L
How do you embrace generosity in your life or career?
Coming from Colombia, I was raised with an awareness that someone always had less than I did. Whenever I outgrew any clothes or toys I knew exactly where they were going to go. I am raising my children in a similar way. My kids are expected to take care of all of their things because it will belong to someone else one day.
My friend and I text each other daily and list the things we're grateful for. This has taught me that there is plenty for everyone and has kept me accountable. Since starting a daily gratitude practice, I have become much more generous with my time, information, friendships, and with sharing my expertise.
I have come to the place in my work where I genuinely want to see others succeed – and I help them do it – because I believe there is enough room in the world for us all to flourish. In my personal life, I teach generosity to my children with the hopes they will carry it into the next generation.
Ana
Lydia
Alexis
Dreamer, Doer, Writer, Model, Mom Houston, TX
Coach/Creative Counselor New Haven, CT
Writer, Artist, Advocate, Filmmaker Edmonton, Alberta
@powertoprevail
The PERPETUAL YOU
@lydiamandell newhavenbreathwork.com
@alexismariechute alexismariechute.com
I offer services or resources to other business owners and assist friends with their social media. Helping others reminds me why I love what I do and that I am knowledgeable at my craft. Being giving and helping one another is what life is all about.
I am extra generous with my children, not by getting them more stuff but by giving them more kindness, understanding, and patience. I'm also working on being more generous with myself, something I coach my clients and students on constantly.
When you give of yourself without expectation, you often get more in return. Even if I don't get anything physical or material out of [giving], I gain positive energy to help me respond to the next set of choices in my life.
Deirdre
Marie
Danielle
Writer, Artist, Advocate, Filmmaker Denver, CO
Parent Educator Boston, MA
Artist & Art Educator Northford, CT
@littleredpromotions littleredpromotions.com
@marielpbalance createbalancedlife.com
@helixis7185 storyartbydanielle.com
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You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you. - JAN E G OODAL L
The PERPETUAL YOU
to align your physical space with your ever-evolving self
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A R T W O R K by @ A R A B E S Q U E . A R T . D E S I G N
The PERPETUAL YOU
P H O T O by @ J A Y N A C O W A L
Spoon
/spoon/ noun [invented ~1000 BC] A sensible instrument b y which one bestows or receives a culinary offering. The W E A LT H I S S U E
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The PERPETUAL YOU
DW E L L
Start with Art An easy update to any space is changing out the art for something in a new color palette or style. Pictured here – Art by Meghan Shah. View more at meghanshah.com.
A GENEROUS
Scullery
Do you have a small area in your home that you find to be so claustrophobic it’s uninviting? Over-full and unattractive? Dingy and uninspiring? Small areas tend to get cluttered more quickly but guess what—they’re also easier to clean & easier to renovate!
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ake this scullery in the kitchen of a 1920’s New England home. Before renovation, it was chock full of unnecessary and out-of-date cabinetry. Whereas the cabinets were too large, the useful counter area was too small to be of service. In fact, this corner, despite being the area where many daily tasks got carried out, was totally out of place in an otherwise expansive home. Luckily, the bones were solid, including an adequate window to bring in some natural light and an arched entryway that tied the area back to the rest of the home’s architecture. To make this space feel more generous, no walls were removed; instead; shelves replaced the upper cabinetry and a solid surface
countertop was brought in. The airy blue wall paint provides a clear contrast to the rest of the color scheme—a classic black and white. The only oversized item is the faucet, which sits, visually, in between the natural light of the window and the opening to the space. Other details are both minimal and tasteful, from the stacked subway tile to the finishing details of the open shelving. As a result, this space now stands out rather than sticks out. Even if you're not planning on a tiny remodel any time soon, making some minor adjustments—like adding new art or a fancy sponge holder—can bring about abundant, freeing feelings when you're in that small space.
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Thank you! Loads of gratitude to The McCracken family for volunteering their photo-worthy entryway. And a big welcome to Elsie June! The PERPETUAL YOU
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The Privilege of Space Feeling as though you have enough when everyone around you is telling you they need something more can be challenging. During times of transition, especially those focused on ‘need,’ it can help to find one area in the home where you can re-claim your space and re-frame your mindset.
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s a time that’s predisposed to acquisition, the back-to-school season can muddle even the most abundant of mindsets. We need more supplies; we have more routines. Each year, there is more homework and more paperwork to sign. Even if you don’t go on the required 15 trips to Target for new clothes and shoes and the latest trendy backpacks, you’re still likely to find your house filling with the “stuff” that comes along with school-aged children. I don’t know about you; but I tend to feel out of control whenever I don’t have all the control. Back-to-school mania, which capitalizes on two of my coping skills— shopping and organizing—appealingly offers the chance to take over. To plan. To set up systems. To buy another folder-hangy thingy and folders to go in it. If you truly need more zig-zagged folders, then, please—be my guest; but I wonder how often this offer
to be “in charge” is a false one. Because if I don’t need new zig-zagged folders and I proceed to buy them anyway because they’re just so darn cute and, well, last year’s folders are pink on kraft paper but this year’s are turquoise on a shimmering ivory background, then I have lost control, not gained it. Wouldn’t it be nice to have one area of your house that isn’t brimming with stuff? An area that is abundant with space and light and intention instead of backpacks and shoes and wadded up pieces of paper? The entryway featured on these pages is exactly that. Despite having young children, this homeowner made an intentional decision not to have designated landing zones and cubby shelves stacked to the ceiling. Rather, she artfully and carefully under-filled the space, continued on next page
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capitalizing on the expansiveness of the open staircase and the natural light streaming in from all sides. The wealth in this entryway comes in the form of S-P-A-C-E. A rare gem, indeed. Minimal vignettes of found items soften the abundantly bright walls, while touches of nature mimic their vitality. Timeworn artifacts and handcrafted pieces feel equally at home here. The deliberate emphasis on the imperfect makes visitors and home dwellers alike feel at ease. Despite the absence of materiality, this entryway is inviting and charming. Children might linger there, lining up mama’s boots and daddy’s loafers. Mom might rest there while waiting on the kids to find their shoes. And I know for a fact that a certain four-legged friend takes a mighty nap on the cool floor. This space is beautiful and warm and calming because, rather than looking around at all the accessories of school that need to be organized and signed and
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packed away and unpacked again later, you look around and see space. The irony is that you often need a spacious environment in order to recognize how an abundance of space can uplift your mood. The simplicity of the space lacks nothing. Everything you really need is there. And the things you can live without? Well, they’re taking up space somewhere else. If you really need your entryway to be the home of all things back-to-school, that doesn’t mean you can’t replicate the feeling of abundance pictured here. Claim a corner, however small it may be, and give it a space-over. Be precise and thoughtful and generous by allowing only those items that add value to your mindset and accentuate your right to have some space.
The Lee Lee is the Managing Editor & Creative Director of The Perpetual You who occasionally writes articles for her own magazine. If you’re an interior designer or a design blogger, or just a mom who loves design, please email her at editor@theperpetualyou.com so that you can be the writer and she can return to what she does best—editing.
Dwell on This Abundance is partly a state of mind, but you can jumpstart (or reinforce) that mindset by following some intentional design practices throughout your home.
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Invite Prosperity. After reading that a full bowl invites prosperity, I adopted the policy of keeping trinkets in all my displayed vessels. I started by assigning each family member a candy dish to fill with the things they love. I actually enjoy rescuing a “lost” item now because I get to choose which vintage compote should be its home!
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Make an Announcement. When I was re-doing my command center last year, I chose “Calm” as the feeling I wanted to have when in that hallway. Then, I bought the letters C, A, L, and M and hung them on the wall. Cliché? Maybe. But it works. When I walk into that area, I read the word—CALM—and then I internalize the feeling.
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Seek Imperfection. While I don’t mind spending an afternoon at Target, there’s something more meaningful to me about pieces that have been used or are perhaps a little tarnished, or even ones that are broken. Rescuing a piece of “ugly” art or a crooked lamp from the castaway bin at Goodwill brings me a sense of peace that then radiates through me when I see that piece in my home.
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Shop Small. Buying from a small batch maker often takes more work (to find the product you want) and can be costlier, but, goodness is it ever worth it. In my mind, handcrafted products are more beautiful—not just because of the way they look, but because I know that my purchase directly supports the person who made it.
Purposeful Purchasing Doing some intentional buying? Check out this month’s shopping guide for our recommended additions to your home during the back-to-school season.
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ABUNDANT
MEMORIES PRESERVING THE OLD + COLLECTING THE NEW
Words by Ariel Nathan Images by Lindsay Stanford
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There is nothing better than eating together as a family, enjoying each other through conversation. Growing up, my family sat down to dinner together every night, long before cell phones and technology were around to get in the way, and discussed the good and bad of our day. Due to this tradition of loving generosity, I knew my kitchen would be a space for making memories and eating together.
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Wealth is not the key to having an amazing home and an incredible lifestyle—the key is inside you; it’s your own creativity & being in an environment in which you’re allowed to openly express it. – JUSTINA BLAKENEY
BUILDING THE DREAM Even before we had our home or worked on our kitchen, my love and I grew to know each other by cooking together; we would cook any meal anywhere, as long as we were together – glass of wine in hand, music turned all the way up, and something simmering on the stove. Cooking together was about body language, collaboration, and understanding each other in a different way. Our relationship carries on the values I learned as a child when my family would sit down to dinner: a hearty meal and deep conversation builds healthy family relationships. Our partnership works because we
agree on this, and our home functions in a positive way because we value sharing time together and, also, with those we love. When we moved in to our current house just over about a year and a half ago, our plan was to leave the kitchen as-is. Just grateful to be together, we decided using the old kitchen wouldn’t be so bad. As we remodeled our way through the house, though, we let momentum carry us through to the kitchen. The process was slow but steady. We spent about two months microwaving Trader Joes frozen food in our
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"I am a lover of transitional décor pieces, such as small motivational signs, a vintage ruler, or clocks. When a piece gets tired in one space, move it to the next room and voila – new décor!"
dining room and fostering a first-name-basis relationship with the employees of Tasty Chinese, our favorite takeout restaurant. When we wanted to indulge in a swankier spread we walked into West Hartford Center for half price burgers at McLadden’s Irish pub. Over burgers and wine, we would discuss design ideas for our kitchen remodel. Pub napkins served as sketch pads
for our renovation. Our main priority was creating a functional space with the added intention to have an environment where guests would feel at home, particularly since we planned on many of these guests lending us a generous hand in the remodeling effort! We settled on a mix of neutral colors to create a clean and modern but still inviting atmosphere. We dreamed up soft chairs and a slightly imperfect kitchen table, where friends would sit and taste test. And we planned on a relaxed galley style design, which would allow for a flow of conversation from the cook to the friendly food critics.
KEEPING THE GOOD BONES Despite wanting to update the ambience of our kitchen, there were three components of the room I absolutely loved: the real wood cabinets, the galley layout, and the placement of the kitchen sink. These elements formed the basis of our ongoing design plan while keeping us grounded to everything the kitchen had been before our renovation started. The cabinets, built in the 60's, were substantial and solid. A fresh coat of white paint was all they needed. Since the kitchen cabinets are visible from so many other
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spaces in the home, choosing the right shade of white was essential. HGTV By Sherman Williams in a semi-gloss finish turned out to be the perfect paint to ease the transition from whichever way you were entering: the dining room, front hall, or outdoor breezeway. Using neutral paint wasn’t just a visually appealing way to stay consistent with the other rooms of our home, but also gives me the option of transitioning décor from one room to the next and back around again. I am a lover of transitional décor pieces, such as small motivational signs, a vintage ruler, or clocks – sticking to gold and silver helps maximize usefulness and the budget. When a piece gets tired in one space, move it to the next room and voila – new décor! Luckily, the well-made cabinets, now painted a sparkling white, were also well-placed. Not having to change the overall layout left us some time and money to rework one small area and add in a modern feature to complement our daily lives: a drink bar. Our morning routine consists of sitting together, drinking coffee, and watching the news; so this feature will get plenty of use! We filled the shelves above with wine bottles from our Connecticut vineyards collection so the space will get evening usage too. Another area of the kitchen that I loved was the sink as focal point. I have long dreamt of a kitchen where I’m standing at the sink and watching kids playing in
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the yard, and the placement of our sink was perfect for that. While washing dishes, I can see into the open air sitting area and also into the front yard, giving me the vantage point when guests are arriving. The style of the sink, on the other hand, wasn’t quite in line with our design aesthetic. Since I prefer pageturning to Pinterest, I took to my favorite home décor magazines for inspiration and discovered that a stainless steel farmhouse sink would appeal both to my love for old restoration and my boyfriend’s preference for the industrial and modern. We searched and found the perfect one, with black accents and a swivel faucet— meaning we didn’t need a pot filler elsewhere. Laying out the kitchen with these three mainstays in place was easier on the budget, and fulfilled our overall
philosophy about design: that everything doesn’t have to be new-new-new. Taking what was already present and building on those elements to turn the kitchen into a space we both loved made me happy. Also, since this was the first room I was really “designing from scratch,” having the bones in place from the beginning allowed me to spend time focusing on the best way to incorporate the things we need and love into the room.
STYLING THE MEMORIES My design aesthetic rests on the meaning found in small décor pieces, so I was excited to get to the point where I could style the room! My boyfriend and I are gatherers and have many treasures we’ve collected over the years, whether found items from a favorite vintage store or meaningful souvenirs brought home from our travels around New England. The accessories in our home are a collection of memories. Above our kitchen table, I added wire shelving that welcomed light and reinforced the airy feeling of the room. Styling the shelves in a way that was true to this aesthetic was just as important as the style of the rack itself. Each shelf is responsible for holding collected decorations: mail from friends, housewarming gifts, a wooden X trivet and an O bowl, uniquely reassigned to represent hugs and kisses.
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My most treasured find--a sign from our annual trip to Ogunquit--rests just below the wire shelving. We were on a budget, at a thrift store looking for tiny treasures, when we stumbled across this old trolley ad. I love vintage advertisements, and this sign that used to reside on the side of an old trolley cart was something I had never seen before. Where better to put a publication for a local wine and cheese shop than in the kitchen? This sign is more than a “good find” – it’s an authentic souvenir from our favorite vacation spot – the place we took our first vacation as a couple on a Valentine’s Day weekend. On that trip, we ended up being in the snow storm of the year, and spent the entire weekend getaway snowed in at our hotel room. We used the mini kitchen to cook gourmet filet (on a hot plate) while we drank Maine’s most fabulous blueberry wine. Seeing this sign in my kitchen fills me with gratitude—not just for that specific memory, but for the abundance of memories we’ve made together since. It’s also a reminder of our resilience and the crux of our relationship—fun & food! When we moved in, our mothers gifted us pots and pans they no longer used and we welcomed the hand-me-downs. Shiny pans don’t make the food taste better—time spent together cooking and eating it does! Despite my love of small décor, I’m a minimalist at heart. If we lost everything—our house, our belongings, even all of the treasures we’ve collected through the years—we would still have each other and our memories.
Memorable Accessories How to Collect & Style Your Memories How do you know if a treasured item is worthy of being displayed? Simple. Anything that brings you joy can bring a wealth of style to your room. And you don’t need a treasure trove of expensive artifacts to have a collection you love.
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Collectors’ Item. ͞Head up to your attic, dust off your old school boxes, and see if you can find something that reminds you of your passionate youth. Our collectors Moscow mule glasses have traveled with Seweryn through many of his life stages—from his college frat house back to his childhood bedroom and finally, now, in his own home.
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Symbolic Gesture. I placed a globe in our kitchen to remind us of our travels. From spices to wine, we love to experiment with different flavors and learn different cultures from each place we visit. Not a jetsetter? That’s okay! Pick some wildflowers on your next walk around the neighborhood.
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Team Project. There is no better kitchen décor piece than one made in a team effort with all family members involved. Turn up the music, make some snacks, and enjoy a weekend DIY project. The end result, Pinterest-worthy or not, will be fabulous because it was made with love by all..
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Real Life. My most favorite accessory? Ruby! The perfect short hair mix puppy who rests at my feet while I wash dishes. Sometimes a room “accessorized” with dog toys, coloring books, a 4th grade science project, or mini cars scattered across the floor is more meaningful than anything you plan out in advance!
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Still, displaying these items intentionally, in my kitchen and elsewhere in our home, is an important way for me to honor those beautiful memories.
Since our kitchen remodel was finished, the room has become a gathering place full of pleasant greetings, lively conversations, and relaxed dinners with friends new and old. In fact, soon after perfecting the kitchen décor, I realized I needed a bigger table to accommodate my guests and to encourage them to sit down and relax while drinks are made and dinner is served. At our first small gathering, which turned into being 15 people, I realized the small two-top kitchen table I had previously thought was perfect wasn’t nearly big enough. The space for a table was still tight, but I found a wooden square fourtop that fits and has the space to add two extra place settings. Though I often spend time in my kitchen alone, and am happy doing so, the fact that we have the space for our friends and family to gather is a pleasant reminder of the abundance of memories we have and for which I’m so grateful—just as I’m grateful that we were able to update and accessorize the kitchen while keeping its good bones. With each and every meal, whether a large gathering—the house filled with noise, kids running around, friends sharing food and laughs—or a quiet dinner at home with our little family and a bottle of Merlot, new memories are being made. I may need a bigger table yet!
Ariel Nathan is a creative from Connecticut. She owns an ecommerce shop, North Detail, where she sells goods for the home and kitchen.
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The New Girl corresponds to Benjamin Moore 637
Matriarch corresponds to Benjamin Moore 2118-10
Rising Star corresponds to Benjamin Moore OC-64
Introverted Extrovert corresponds to Benjamin Moore 2118-40
EMBRACE A CLASSIC
This month’s color palette combines natural colors with contemporary mainstays. The subtle hues of green and modern gray complement the crisp black and white, while the saturated and complex red livens up the whole scene. You can mix and match these five colors in any ratio, but we favor saving red for the places in the kitchen where you want to draw someone’s eye—a soap bottle near the sink, a bowl of strawberries on the kitchen cabinet, or, as seen in Ariel’s kitchen on the preceding pages, the standout flower in a tastefully arranged bunch. Already have your dream kitchen? Here are some other suggested uses for this palette:
Rebel with a Cause corresponds to Benjamin Moore CSP-1145
Take it Outside. Whether your house is contemporary & concrete or has traditional gray siding, you can add a red door, green hedges, and shiny black roof and know you have a winner.
Color Inspiration
Keep It Clean. Lucky enough to have sleek & shiny red appliances in your washroom? Add in some grayish/green cabinetry with black trim all around and accessorize minimally with stark white. (Think big clear jars of organic detergent powder!)
For more ideas & inspiration, follow our Color Palette Pinterest Board.
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Keep up to date with our monthly product selections by following us on Pinterest!
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Shop the Look With a classic black-and-white color palette and flirty, handlettered witticisms, the kitchen accessories at North Detail* fit in well with any kitchen style, from modern to bohemian. Click on the “buy it� link next to each product to purchase or browse on your own time by visiting North Detail's online shop.
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1 | Memories Tea Towel from North Detail ($16, buy it)
2 | Good Morning Gorgeous Mug from North Detail ($10, buy it)
3 | Tea Coaster Set from North Detail ($18, buy it)
Meet the Maker Owner of North Detail, Ariel Nathan, is also our featured Dwell writer this month. Read about her kitchen remodel on the preceding pages. The W E A LT H I SS U E
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By giving to yourself you are fulfilled, abundant, and generous. You have spare love to share. - A N N E T T E VAIL L AN COU RT
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to align your life story with your ever-evolving mindset
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A R T W O R K by @ A R A B E S Q U E . A R T . D E S I G N
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THREE QUESTIONS
with
Melissa Camilleri
How do you Embrace Generosity in your day-to-day life?
What aspect of your physical space is the Wealthiest?
What is the connection between Wealth & Generosity for you?
I look for ways to be gracious— allowing someone to merge in traffic, even when it is not their turn, looking a person in the eye and asking how their day is going, complimenting a stranger. I also embrace the generosity of others: accepting the gift when someone wants to pick up the tab at lunch; saying a genuine thank you when someone offers me a compliment; asking for and accepting help when I need it.
My kitchen is beautiful; it’s all white with high ceilings and glass-paned cabinets that draw your eye up. When you walk into the kitchen, you see the sparkle of the crystal in our cabinets. I’m not someone who hides the nice crystal away, either. Those are our wine glasses for every day. I believe in using the fancy dishes on ordinary days because I believe each day is a reason to celebrate.
I used to give and give and give, without ever receiving. I’ve changed my mind about that after burning out and feeling resentful because my tank was so empty. Now, I look for opportunities to graciously accept the generosity of others. This shift in mindset opened the door to so much more wealth for me; not just monetarily, but in my marriage, friendships, and relationships, and with my time and freedom.
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how we rise ADOPTING THE MINDSET OF GENEROSITY with Melissa Camelleri
Words by Lee Lee Thompson, Images by The Joy Archival
From a sunny studio in Northern California, Melissa Camilleri designs, constructs, and ships out jewelry & home goods. Each product is full of goodness, from the locally sourced materials to the fact that a percentage of sales goes into a scholarship fund for college-aged women. If that weren’t enough? Each product also comes with a compliment.
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"We can make our own dreams come true by serving others."
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he clock chimes 11 AM. You’ve been working all morning—time for a break. You go outside to check the mailbox and find a small package there. A surprise package! Today isn’t your birthday or anniversary, nor a gift-giving holiday. Who would be sending you a package? Your mom? Your sister? A close friend?? Forgetting about the mail, you return inside to open up this unexpected gift. You remove a small, brown, square box from the packaging and remove the lid. Inside is a beautiful necklace, stunning in its simplicity. You hold it up by its chain, the round gem—as brightly colored as a gumdrop—hangs down, swinging like a pendulum. Wondering who would’ve sent this to you, your eyes return to the small brown box. That’s when you notice it: the compliment. “You Are Enough,” it says. Your brain reacts, races. Am I enough?
Until this moment, you didn’t realize how exhausted and unappreciated you’d been feeling. When was the last time you took a vacation? When was the last time someone other than you washed the dirty dish towels? When was the last time you felt like you had it all together? You glance back down to the white card with tiny, bold black lettering. You Are Enough. Right there, in black and white, the truth exists. This compliment, and the jewelry it came with, are the exact thing you needed at this moment. You didn’t know it before opening the box, but you know it now. Returning to work, you feel—uplifted. Your mood is brighter. I can do this, you tell yourself. And you do.
This moment—the one where you feel a little bit stronger because someone gave you a compliment—is the reason Melissa Camilleri’s brand, Compliment, exists. Though she’s only been in business a little over five years, all roads prior to this have prepared Melissa for a life focused on crafting the perfect piece of jewelry, curating a brand that fulfills her heart’s desires, and creating the perfect compliment to go with it. From time spent teaching high school students while building her own business to her current life managing several employees, co-hosting a podcast, and motivating other business owners to hone their passions, Melissa has one goal in mind, the same goal as when her brand began: to help others succeed as much as she helps herself.
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Be Inpired Watch Melissa’s keynote speech from April at Thrive NYC
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ED•U•CA•TION Connecting with those in need so that they may achieve a dream. As a young girl, Melissa loved words. Intuitively understanding the power language held, she was drawn to storytelling and writing. After getting her MFA in Creative Writing, Melissa started teaching at AVID, a program that serves first-generation students. On the side, she acquired the hobby of jewelry-making. Because she worked with the same students for four years, the dynamic between Melissa and her students was more akin to family than to a class. As graduation came closer, Melissa realized that many of her students, despite being ready for college in a scholastic sense, would not be able to shoulder the financial burden of higher education. One student asked her to help with the cost of her prom dress, so Melissa decided to try her hand at selling jewelry to help her students raise money. The venture was successful. Though she didn’t know it at the time, that’s the moment Compliment was born. Melissa started selling jewelry in order to raise scholarship money for the students she was working with and, after her first year in business, was able to give away two $250 scholarships. From this small start, the business grew, as did Melissa’s familiarity with social media strategies.
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By connecting with other educators and people passionate about education, Melissa was able to catapult her Instagram following and increase her sales. After a decade in the classroom, Melissa became a full-time entrepreneur. By nourishing a business built on the premise of giving back—5% of every sale goes into the scholarship fund—Melisa could continue to empower students.
EN•TRE•PRE•NEUR•SHIP Providing avenues of generosity to the general public so that they may give to those in need. Melissa’s love of words and her spirit of generosity are innate to the Compliment brand. Philanthropy wasn’t something she felt obligated to do; her business practices came about in response to a need she had witnessed firsthand. For this reason, Melissa counsels authentic, organic philanthropy: Give to the cause that “lights you up; [do] the thing you would do for free.”
For Melissa, that involves giving, whether through the scholarship fund or by including generosity as part of her product design. The affirmations on her coffee mugs and notebooks are more than just a trend; they’re compliments—just as her jewelry comes packaged with a customizable compliment. In both cases, the receiver is getting a bonus gift. Melissa was actually inspired by the Dove miniature chocolates with witty, “fortune cookie like” affirmations. “My brand is an extension of things I really like,” she says. In that way, Melissa is her own ideal customer; she sells products that she’d actually buy (or would love to be given!). Still, she doesn’t discount the popularity of slogan-based products: “It helps that [words on products] became a hipster thing.”
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EM•POW•ER•MENT Sharing tools with those in need so that they may realize their goals. The power of knowledge is also something Melissa has integrated into her business philosophy. “Teaching has always been in my heart,” says Melissa. Her course on building your Instagram following is a way of giving back to the entrepreneurial community, and meets a deep need in her to help others realize success. More than just social media tricks, working with other entrepreneurs is how Melissa “serves in a greater capacity.” Similarly, when Melissa has a speaking engagement, her message focuses on the audience and their needs, rather than her own expertise. In a blog post earlier this spring, she wrote of her speech at Thrive NYC: “I wanted my keynote to…empower and inspire the women in that room to be brave enough to walk the path that's been laid before them with courage and to use their gifts to make an impact in the world.”
“It’s in my heart to give and give and give.”
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The jewelry Melissa makes and sells is simple, but this too is an act of intention. With a supercharged mission and in-your-face marketing, the product itself need not be flashy. Quality and value are what Melissa focuses on providing—brand values that result in a strong, loyal customer base. “People want to pay for things that are of value to them,” says Melissa. “I’m confident in the kind of value I’m providing.”
Though Melissa has a “tragic” story to tell, one that involves losing support and becoming brave enough to forge ahead on her own, that’s not what she “leads with.” She wrote: “It was my intention to not make the talk so much about me and my story, but about how we can make our own dreams come true by serving others. Literally—we rise by lifting others.” “We Rise by Lifting Others” is the company tagline. It reflects not just the growth strategy of her generosity-based company, but also the personal journey Melissa has been on since forming Compliment. Though
other careers could provide her with financial success, Melissa feels wealthier with the “freedom and ability to make an impact in the world.”
ES•SENCE Receiving praise and giving to yourself as graciously and generously as you would to those in need. Over the years, Melissa has seen the power of giving a compliment in many ways, including emails from customers thanking her for being in business and making beautiful jewelry. In the beginning, these emails were difficult to receive; despite having built the practice of giving compliments into her life’s work, Melissa was still uncomfortable receiving praise. After years of working with affirmations, though, Melissa has come to understand that receiving a compliment is just as integral to one’s generosity mindset as is giving a compliment. “It’s in my heart to give and give and give,” says Melissa, “but if I’m continually blocking the receiving end of a giving transaction, then I’m robbing the giver of their satisfaction.” Learning to receive compliments on her work made Melissa better at “giving generously.” In addition, Melissa views self-generosity as an important aspect of an abundant mindset. “Sometimes it’s your turn to receive,” says Melissa. Being generous to yourself can be as simple as meeting your own needs, which can actually boost your capacity to give to others. “When you’re feeling good about yourself, it bleeds into all other aspects of your life,” Melissa says.
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In the same vein, giving out of obligation, or “until the well runs dry” or giving outside of your budget will rob you of the joy and fulfillment generosity typically brings. True generosity isn’t giving “because you have to,” but comes from a place where “we believe there’s enough for everybody.”
This year, Compliment will give away two $1500 scholarships to young women wanting to attend college. Melissa just announced via Facebook that she’ll be speaking at Savor Life Summit this fall. She continues to help business owners grow their Instagram following and is also co-hosing a podcast called Pay Attention, about appreciating the simpler
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Practice Makes Perfect Women often deflect compliments rather than accepting them: “Oh, it was nothing,” or “Thanks, but…” Some of us feel so uncomfortable with attention being paid to us that we argue! (e.g. “This old thing? I’ve had this for years!”)
“When you’re feeling good about yourself, it bleeds into all other
We’re taught how to give compliments, be polite, and express gratitude, but, somewhere along the way, we stopped handing down the art of receiving. The good news is accepting compliments can be an act of intention.
aspects of your life.”
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͞If you’re looking for an easy way to receive a compliment, fall back on a simple phrase: Thank You. Simply express gratitude and move on.
aspects of life. Through it all, she continues to make beautiful products that encourage the practice of generosity. By all accounts, Melissa is the model of a successful entrepreneur, who has not only found the key to work/life balance but has figured out how to make money while changing the world. And yet, the most meaningful part of her day—the most intriguing part of her business—is that moment when she receives an email from a customer who doesn’t know which compliment she should give her mom or sister or best friend. In a blog post on teaching, Melissa wrote: “What I love most [is] helping people find what makes their heart sing, and then helping them find the courage to pursue that.” In a world where women often feel uncomfortable sharing their true feelings, particularly with other women, helping someone figure out which compliment to give is a brave act in and of itself.
Lee Lee Thompson is the Cofounder and Managing Editor at TPY. She has had the privilege to interview 16 amazing women who inspire others to choose, embrace, celebrate, & unleash the best parts of themselves–their Perpetual selves.
Take It Easy.
Compliment HW: Work giving yourself a compliment into your morning routine: the simpler the better. “Good job brushing your teeth!” is a favorite of mine. Be sure to say thank you back!
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Switch It Around. When you don’t agree with a compliment someone gives you, think of something you do feel good about instead. This will help you to express authentic gratitude.
Compliment HW: Write down something you like about yourself—a physical trait or character quality—and carry it with you as a physical reminder of something you’re proud of.
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Hand It Back. Returning the favor IS an acceptable way to receive a compliment, provided you take a second in between to appreciate what the person said about you.
Compliment HW: Give your kids, partner, or best friend a compliment and have them give you one in return. Let it get silly, only stopping when you can’t think of anything else to say!
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Pay It Forward. When you accept a compliment, your goodness reserve gets fuller. Rather than deflect or change the subject, remind yourself that you’ll be able to pay this generosity forward.
Compliment HW: Give someone a compliment! Your neighbor with the pretty lawn, the grocery store clerk with the pretty smile, or a woman you haven’t met with a pretty handbag.
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I got better at giving generously once learned how to receive. - MEL ISSA CAM IL L E RI
to align your innermost thoughts with your ever-evolving perspective
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A R T W O R K by @ A R A B E S Q U E . A R T . D E S I G N
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F L O W E R S selected & donated by @ W I L D F L O W E R A T M O S A I C
No. 902
Ranunculus With its wealth of delicate petals, few flowers rival the feeling of abundance Ranunculus gives.
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LIVE
The Power of Intuition with Meghan Kacmarcik
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I want to become acutely aware of all I've taken for granted. –SYLVIA PLATH
We hear a lot about intuition – intuitive eating, intuitive living, mindful practices… But what does listening to our intuition really means? Intuitive living mean honoring our desires and needs, even when they compete with the expectations of ourselves or others.
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he pressure to conform came early in my life, by way of body image. Like so many other women, I thought dieting was a part of life. I saw my mother dieting through my childhood. I watched as my friends' moms dieted. I sat around with my family on holidays where someone would inevitably mention how they would need to go for a nice long run to “work this one off.” I watched as the fad went from low fat to low carb. I saw the diet books on the best seller rack at Barnes and Noble, some of which ended up on our bookshelf at home. I heard as my friend’s older sister told the family she would have to go on a “detox diet” after vacation, something that sounded glamorous and mature to my naïve ears. Over and over, I absorbed the knowledge: dieting is what women do. By college, I was heavily restricting my eating and relying on long hours at the gym to compensate. I had become trapped in a dark and immensely unhappy place, where I didn’t trust that what I was eating was “okay” or that the exercise I was doing was enough. I didn’t trust that people would like me if I wasn’t thin.
During this time, I stopped trusting myself in other contexts as well. I went from a relatively well-adjusted child to a perfectionistic teen, who always thought her work was less than and didn’t believe her hours of studying would pay off. I agonized over what to eat for meals, terrified of making the “wrong” choice. Deep down, I felt that every decision I made was inherently wrong. I felt that every decision I made had the potential to derail my life. All this led up to a young woman crying on the floor of her dorm room in front of her open underwear drawer, not being able to decide which ones to wear. Four years of being that person had resulted in a deep mistrust of my inner voice. Despite needing so badly to know that what I decided was okay, I had no confidence and instead sought out external validation. All my relationships—from parents, to friends, to my dating partners—then became strained. When I started researching eating disorder recovery, something clicked inside me. I knew that recovery was
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something I needed to do for myself. This need was so strong I felt like I couldn’t deny it, I had to pursue it. That decision, made on a Saturday afternoon lying in bed, changed my life. Tuning into my intuition and letting it guide me transformed my world and changed my direction. All too often, silencing our intuition feels easier than facing ourselves. Acting without really thinking about what we want and how to get it becomes a routine, and then a rut. In my eating disorder, I had set “rules” for myself; following these felt more important than listening to my intuition. I wasted so many years not letting myself live because I was too afraid of what would happen if I released control. With or without an eating disorder, the desire to set rules for our life is a common one among women, particularly those with busy schedules and high expectations. What happens, though, when we break our own rules--which, being human, we will? We feel as though we’ve failed; we’ve let ourselves down. If we can replace control with self-compassion, we allow ourselves more space in our lives for honest and authentic experiences. Listening to our intuition and tuning into what our bodies are telling us can feel almost selfish, like we’re
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taking care of ourselves without regard to the other people in our life; however, self-care actually opens us up to the world. Meeting our own needs allows us to live our truths and be present in the world in a way that we can’t when we’re only living “by the rules.” Having people to rely on, who support you and give you words of encouragement when you need them, is critical. Equally, if not more, important is being able to take care of yourself. As you learn to trust yourself and genuinely listen to what your mind, body, heart, and soul are saying, you will feel empowered. As you make decisions for yourself, you will learn to trust in the outcomes that make you feel better about your life. I have spent the past year tuning into what my body and mind need, and I feel infinitely better about my day-to-day circumstances as a result. Whether it’s our eating, our health, our careers, our parenting—or any other rule-based role you’re playing—our intuition is always there and ready to guide us down the ‘right’ path. Listen to your heart, and see what happens.
Meghan is a blogger, body positivity advocate, eating disorder survivor and Registered Dietitian. You can follow along on her adventures on Instagram @sundaesforthesoul or read her blog at sundaesforthesoul.com.
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BACK TO SCHOOL
Tag @theperpetualyou in your back-to-school selfies for the chance to be featured in our Instagram feed this month!
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More Than Enough HOW AN ABUNDANT MINDSET SHIFTED M Y R E L AT I O N S H I P W I T H T I M E
P H O T O by @ J O L Y N E H
Words by Katie Lynch
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LIVE
Reality Check Make an honest list of all the ways you choose to spend your time, then spend some time thinking about what is on this list. Is there anything on your list that you would choose to remove? If you did make the choice to remove something on your list, how would this open up an abundance of time for you? What would you choose to do with this time instead?
Time is the most precious resource in our lives. If we view time from the mindset of abundance, we will have plenty of emotional endurance and be able to participate generously in our daily lives.
H
istorically, I have identified as a very “busy” person. I graduated from high school and only one year into college decided to follow my dream of working in the rewarding and simultaneously challenging nonprofit world, only to find myself working and attending college full time. For some silly reason, one bachelor's degree wasn’t enough so I pursued a second. In my twenties, accomplishing all of this alongside spending time socializing with friends, keeping my feet in the dating pool, and seeing my family very frequently seemed easy. During this time, I always felt there was enough time for all the pursuits and people I loved. After graduating from college, I continued to chase dreams, travel, and spend time having fun with those most important to me. Somewhere in between leaving my twenties and entering my thirties, I decided to tackle my next
dream: graduate school. This began my three-year long journey to becoming a therapist—long days and nights, on campus and in class, reading endless books and journals or writing papers, all the while participating in clinical rotations three days a week. Did I mention I was also holding down two part-time jobs? Time became my most precious resource. All too frequently, I heard myself say, “Sorry, I just can’t. I don’t have the time right now.” This was a drastic shift from my happily busy, and carefree 20-something self; but, somehow, I just felt panicked anytime I thought someone was imposing on my limited and precious time. As a budding therapist, I learned that “self-care” was important time to spend. Our work can be challenging
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and demanding, often requiring giving so much of ourselves to clients that we have to take special measure to reserve some space and time to tend to our own needs. The more I embraced my identity as therapist, the easier it became for me to frame my hoarding of time as “self-care.” I took on some very exciting and demanding opportunities in my early career, ones that left me with what I perceived to be even less time than I had before. This led to me becoming even more protective of my time. After a while, even having good times with friends and family became hard to remember because I simply wasn’t doing it enough. Looking back, I can see the beginnings of my sense of unease about how I was viewing the resource of time. I could hear the disappointment in the voices of those I loved when I “set boundaries” with my time, yet I made the unconscious decision to avoid exploring what was going on, even while intuitively knowing something was off. My intuition’s voice was important, but I just wasn’t ready to hear it.
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A year ago. I left a demanding job, got married, and moved into a beautiful old home farther away from friends and family. As a new creative entrepreneur, I spend a lot of time pursuing new opportunities. While exciting and fulfilling, these changes pushed me even further into a scarcity mindset with regards to my time. How could I be available to those I cared for deeply, when I craved every possible moment for myself? What I have learned to be true about myself is that the experience of internal unease for me, can often be remedied with a shift in my mindset. About two months ago, I began to recognize that old nudging feeling of unease. This time, instead of ignoring it, I made the conscious decision to explore it; to dig deep into its intensity; to sit with it. I was ready to hear what my intuition was trying to tell me. Upon listening closely, I learned something vital: I have PLENTY of time. Even while juggling multiple jobs, being an entrepreneur, taking care of a home, tending to my budding marriage and being sure to care for myself, I still have enough time if I operate with an
abundant mindset that is in alignment with my values. My mindset deeply impacts the amount of time I have. I value time to myself, I value time with my husband, and I value time with my friends and family. This shift requires me to bring awareness to how I am choosing to spend my time. To take the time to consciously ask myself: “Is this choice of how to spend my time in alignment with my values?” Through self-exploration, I’ve discovered that I spend a lot of time choosing to procrastinate – a place of scarcity that actually leads to an increase in anxiety about how much time I have and fuels negative thinking, which further feeds my procrastination monster. All of the sudden, I am losing the one thing most precious to me! In turn, it becomes a challenge to be generous and gift my time to others. On the other hand, when I am aware of my mindset and aware of my values, and when I ask myself if I’m acting in ways that fall in alignment with my values, I can make mindful decisions on how I spend my time. Instead of feeling anxious about how much time I don’t have, I can be confident that a wealth of love and time is available to me. By learning to make decisions about my time that are in alignment with my authentic self, I’m, in effect, gifting myself more time. One of the greatest examples of making decisions about time that fall in line with my values is my morning routine. My mornings used to consist of repeatedly hitting the snooze button and squeezing every ounce of precious time in bed possible. The end result would be an anxious, rushed, and stressed self, convinced there just isn’t enough time in a day. Over the past year, I’ve cultivated a glorious morning routine that developed due to my desire to spend time with my husband, who begins his day at 5:30am, hours before my own work day begins. I made this adjustment happily and willingly because I cherish the quiet, slow start to our day: sipping coffee, sneaking in snuggles with the dogs, giggling at their antics, and enjoying long, sleepy morning embraces. Once my husband leaves for his day, I then have a large chunk of time left in my morning to do things that bring me joy, such as walking, meditating, and taking
Time to Experiment Chose an activity or task in your day that you believe “takes a lot of time.” Set a timer and do this task or activity and ONLY this task or activity. What did you notice? Were you surprised at how long the task took without any distractions or interruptions? The next time you complete this task, gift yourself a block of uninterrupted time, then spend the time you saved doing something you enjoy.
care of the house. These long, slow mornings leave me feeling grounded and refreshed—even accomplished— before my work day has begun. I then enter my day with a mindset of abundance. Time is precious. Our time is the greatest gift we can give to those around us, and also the greatest gift we can give to ourselves. If we can slow down, listen closely to our wants and needs, and be willing to making conscious decisions that align with our values, we will have plenty of time.
Katie Rose Lynch, LICSW is a professional mindset coach + psychotherapist and a semi-professional newbie wife. Connect with her at katieroselynch.com.
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SEPTEMBER MANTRA
By giving generously, I align to the natural Universal flow of abundance. Mantra by Krystal
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Krystal Brandt, Authenticity Coach, is a soulful, sensual siren who lovingly and powerfully guides high-achieving women back to their innermost desires by re-introducing them to their own intuitive whispers of wisdom. Connect with her via krystalbrandt.com.
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THE “NEW”
School Shopping HOW TO IMPLEMENT INTENTIONAL PRACTICES B E FO R E YO U H I T T H E S TO R ES
Words by Christi Daniels Photography by Willy Wilson
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LIVE
A new school year = new clothes & fresh supplies. Even if we’re in a stage of life that doesn’t require buying things during this season, we may still be in the habit. Rather than falling into a pattern of acquisition by default, we can deliberately leverage this season as the fresh start that its intended to be—an opportunity to cultivate a season filled with more depth, meaning, and connection in life.
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A
fter a summer of relentless heat, this morning I sensed the first signs that fall would indeed arrive. My grandkids and I were at the park and, for just a few moments, there was a familiar, slightly cooler breeze, a few dead leaves rustled, and that expansive feeling that signals new possibilities swept through the air. It restored my faith that the equally relentless challenges that have applied pressure to our family might also ease up soon, and my body relaxed knowing that change, at least when it comes to temperatures and routines, was on the horizon.
Consciously letting go of what no longer serves you kickstarts an infinite, rewarding cycle of giving and receiving.
While the arrival of fall is inevitable, we get to choose the way in which we greet this season of change. Rather than responding to it as a matter of routine and harvesting material possessions on autopilot, we can infuse it with a fresh perspective, more heart, and an abundance of soul. If we can listen to our heart's desires, let go of habits and possessions that no longer serve us, and take inventory of the abundance that already exists in our lives, then we can greet this season wholeheartedly, even as our lives shift and take on a different shape.
LISTEN CLOSE Imagine starting this season by slowing down and getting in tune with your values. Before you plan your shopping list, check in and see what your heart is saying. Do you crave simplicity?
Connection? Nourishing meals? Spaciousness and time to simply be? Time to go on an adventure? Knowledge? A break? Time to enjoy and connect with those you love? Remaining aware of your cravings can bring clarity, and help you to make meaningful choices. As an example, if you’re craving nourishing meals, ensure you have the right resources in place: time to plan meals and to shop for quality ingredients, and time to prepare them; also, money to buy quality ingredients. Prioritizing nourishing meals might mean reducing the amount you spend on other things like clothing or supplies, but being clear about your priorities will make this an easier decision. Contrast this with the hurried shopping trip done on the fly acquiring what you think you “should” be getting. If
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you’re like me, I bet you’ve had at least one trip that left you feeling empty and maybe even resentful of what you “had” to purchase. If we never stop to connect with what our soul is craving, then how can we expect to feel fulfilled in our lives? When we check in with our heart’s desires, and learn to let them lead us toward doing what feels right for us, our energy and enthusiasm, the richness that we crave, will return. Decisions rooted in your heart’s desires can be self-indulgent, but this balances our lives as women who tend to give to others much more than they give to themselves.
LET GO As we deliberately connect with ourselves and our desires before taking action, then we can more accurately make choices that increase our overall happiness and decrease our levels of stress. Prior to the stage of acquisition, we can decide which things we are ready to let go of, and which we still wish to embrace. Letting go of what is no longer serving us means that it can be free to serve someone else. Websites like Freecycle and Craigslist can help us connect with people and organizations that are eager to embrace what no longer serves you. Offering an object to someone else means giving it a new life, which feels very good. In our hometown, we have many neighborhood Little Free Libraries. If you haven’t seen these, they are constructed by homeowners for community members to leave or take books, as they see fit. We also have two of the first Little Free Pantries, where we can drop off or pick up non-perishable food and other items. Look
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into your community; what are ways you can regularly integrate the practice of letting go into your routine? Consciously letting go of what no longer serves you kickstarts an infinite, rewarding cycle of giving and receiving. Letting go of something also means we trust that, should we need it again, we will have the resources required to obtain it at that time. Generosity takes practice, and requires strength and dedication; but it also leads to expanded thinking and an abundant way of life.
LOOK AROUND Many times, the things we think we need to acquire are actually already in our possession. Our family prioritizes connecting with friends and family, and we’re also working hard to pay off some debt. This summer, we wanted to host a viewing of a new documentary, but found our tiny 23� computer screen lacking. My husband, who loves movies, was tempted by this predicament. continued on next page
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Remembering how I’ve been taught that everything we need is within us, an idea occurred to me. I reached into our closet and pulled out a projector that had seen little use over the last few years. My son helped me connect speakers and we soon had a spacious 72” large screen projected onto the wall of our living room. Both the documentary and the experience with our friends was amazing.
Hunt with Your Heart Several years ago my son was going into junior high and brought home his school supply list. Tired of the seasonal purchasing ritual and suspecting we already had what he needed in our house, I went on a search. I pulled together markers, pens, pencils, notebooks, calculators— all that we had acquired in the previous 20 years—and put them in one place. My hunch had been right; indeed, we had everything he needed to start school with the exception of a backpack. I felt so abundant knowing that we had what we needed. Whether or not you enjoy buying school supplies, roaming your home and collecting a variety of items can be a meaningful activity; you’ll likely dig up lots of memories too. For even more fun, put together an age-appropriate scavenger hunt and race against your kids to see who can find the items you need first. Alternatively, split the list up and gather items cooperatively! When all items have been found, everyone can share in the satisfaction of a job well done.
We emerged that evening with our values and priorities intact and felt the connection of a shared experience with our friends. We’re also excited to plan our next movie screening! Because we had already gotten clear about what was important to our family, I was able to think expansively and find the resource we needed right under our own roof. There are times when what you need won’t be found in your closet, but by being connected to your heart’s desires, you’ll be eager to discover what you already have before venturing out to obtain more. In a society based on consumption, it’s easy to jump to thinking that we “need” something in order to be happy. We’re told this through commercials and ads, but there’s a subtle and distinct difference in the intention behind our choices and actions when we are connected to what’s important that can make a world of difference in the experience and result in true satisfaction. Wealth resides within us, and within our ability to be resourceful and generous with the abundance that already exists in our life.
Christi Daniels is a Self-fulfillment Mentor and fierce ally for women who've lost touch with themselves, their dreams, and their desires. Connect with her at christidaniels.com. Photos by Willy Wilson of Life Unstill Photography.
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F E AT U R E D A R T I S T
AvĂŠ Rivera Whether working with clay or watercolors, AvĂŠ Rivera's art reflects her values of Happiness, Goodness, and Community. See more at AveRivera.com.
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Branded editorial & product photography
Funky, happy handmade potter y & ar t
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On-location & at-home lifestyle photography
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