The Perpetual You_Wealth through Reflection

The Wealth Issue

Reclaim Your Power with singer/songwriter

Mary Lambert

PAUSE A SECOND (14) • REMEMBER (48) • CURATE LIFE (90)

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We believe in choosing, embracing, unleashing, and celebrating who you've always been – who you already are – who you want to be.

Be YOU...the Perpetual You.

FIND US @THEPERPETUALYOU

L ET T ER from our ED I T O R

THE

THE OFFICE The Perpetual You 101 Putnam Ave. Hamden, CT 06517

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I

have a bit of an obsession with mirrors.

A room just doesn’t feel complete to me without a mirror (or three) hanging in it.

Ironically, for years, I would rush past the mirrors in my house, hoping not to catch a glimpse. Whether I was dressed up or in my comfy clothes, I always ended up criticizing the face looking back at me. To avoid the negativity, I avoided the mirrors.

Once I began a life of more positive thinking, my tendency to self-criticize nagged at me. I knew that what my inner critic was saying wasn’t true. Still, I worried I wouldn’t

T H E C O M MU N I T Y Look for us on social media @theperpetualyou.

stick to the leap of “positive” mirror talk.

Instead, I embraced neutrality. One of the easiest attitudes for me to adopt has been becoming non-judgmental—of myself, my friends, and my children. (Because releasing judgement is WAY more fun than judging.) And I relied on that practice when reframing

THE SOCIETY

my mirror reaction.

Meet like-minded women

For several months, I forced myself to stop in front of the mirror and say, “That’s what I

in our private FB group,

look like.” No negativity, and no positivity either! No judgement, nor any false bravado.

The Perpetual You Society.

Just the truth: That’s what I look like.

Isn’t that what reflection is, after all? A search for the Truth…? I encourage you to

THE PERK Subscribers can use promo

investigate whatever negativity is bringing you down, to release it, and to adopt a practice of reflecting on the truth instead. Try it out, and reap the rewards.

code NYREFLECTIONS

through Jan 31st to get a 10% discount on any TPY marketplace item.

lee lee Creative Director & Managing Editor @wordsbyleelee

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

P H O T O by G I U L I A N N E M A R T I N S

Narrative shifts perspective. – MARIE LEVEY-PABST

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FIND US @THEPERPETUALYOU

IN THIS ISSUE

Create Wealth by Embracing Reflection M O N T H LY M US I C

Aid your reflections with our "Reflect, Release, Repeat" playlist on Spotify at http://bit.ly/TPYmusic.

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

Embrace

65

Embrace Yourself – body, soul, and mind—with singer/ songwriter Mary Lambert.

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Realize 14

Enrich your life by going deep, paying attention, and trusting your intuition.

Lifestyle Notice + Wonder............................................ 14 Ritualize Your Morning Routine...................... 30 Wear What You Know..................................... 34

TPY Faves Media.............................................................. 17 Food............................................................... 18 Cocktail.......................................................... 20

30

Movement....................................................... 22 Products......................................................... 24 Self-Care......................................................... 32

Plus See the Open Road, with photographer,

34 T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

@joanna_fisher.

26

Dwell Exist within your ideal space by designing with your values, your story, and your beloved memories in mind.

Design Display Your Reflections................................... 42 Celebrate Your Design Story............................. 44 Remember + Create......................................... 48

48

90

Live Enlargen your horizons by doubling down on self-love, authenticity, and your core values.

Mindset Honor Yourself............................................... 80 Show Up........................................................ 84 Live Your Values............................................. 90

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FIND US @THEPERPETUALYOU

T H E MA K ERS

Our makers consistently share their time & talents. We'd love to introduce you to the lovely ladies who contributed to this month's issue.

Shervin

Anaise

Cover Photography

Dwell Feature Photographer

@shervinfoto shervinfoto.com

@anaiseprincephoto AnaisePrince.com

Shervin Lainez is a New York City and Los Angeles-

Anaise's love for photography emerged as a hobby,

based music photographer, available for a

and quickly developed into a profession. Her goal is

variety of projects. Contact Ryan Abraham at

to capture raw and authentic moments, and create

rca@myworldmgmt.com for rates and availability.​This

images that evoke emotion and feeling. She loves

is Shervin's first cover spread for The Perpetual You.​

to travel, and is grateful to have the opportunity to photograph the world around her, and capture stories, families, and more in Hartford, CT and beyond.

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

Jessie

P.K.

Cindy

Art Director

Proofreader

Intern

@littlelegendsdesign littlelegends.com

Connect on Facebook

Connect on Facebook

Krystal

Cat

Giulanne

Mantra Siren

Content Editor

Product Photographer

@krystalbrandt krystalbrandt.com

@catballou24 amlofarms.com

@giuliannemartins giuliannemartins.com.br

Joanna

Amanda Luisa

Lauren

Collaborating Photographer

Collaborating Photographer

Collaborating Photographer

@joanna_fisher joannafisher.com

@amandaluisaart MandaLuisa.com

@laurenstevens24 laurenalexandriaphoto.com

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Deborah

Jamie

Diane

Collaborating Artist

Collaborating Artist

Contributing Artist

@velasquezstudio deborahvelasquez.com

@jamiegalley justmakethings.com

@dilo922 lotus922.wordpress.com

Calling all Creative Ladies!

TPY collaborates with artists, photographers, writers, and more. Visit bit.ly/TPYcollab for current opportunities!

Let me help your brand

Words by Lee Lee

Branding & Graphic Design for Passionate Business Owners.

Values-Based Copywriting for Cause-Based Businesses.

Let's start a conversation! j@createlittlelegends.com

wordsbylee@gmail.com

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

to align your daily practices with your ever-evolving desires

A R T W O R K by @ J A M I E G A L L E Y

I L L U S T R A T I O N by @ J E S S I E L E I B E R

THE LA DY

Louise Hay Through Louise’s healing techniques and positive philosophy, millions learned to create more of what they want in their lives–wellness in their bodies, minds, and spirits. We honor her this month because of her insistence that people face their true selves in order to become who they want to be.

W O R D S by P. K . M C G I L L

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People who wade into discomfort and vulnerability and tell the truth about their stories are the real badasses. – BRENÉ BROWN

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

REALIZE

E M B R AC E

Noticing + Wondering with

Marie Levey-Pabst

Reflection begins when we create a space to notice and wonder.

S

o often we see the pursuit of wealth (or growth, or

uncomfortable, just until it starts to feel like it’s dragging out a

strength) as a drive forward—an epic fight we must wage

little too long.

to move ahead. In truth, wealth, wisdom, and more can be

found in the act of reflection.

Why? Because this “out of our comfort zone” place is where the magic happens.

I used to think reflection looked like this: Think about what’s working/what’s not working  Make a plan to make it better  Act! Yet, as I’ve made reflection an intentional part of my personal life as well as my professional life, I’ve realized it looks more like this: Notice + Wonder  Plan + Act

HOW TO “NOTICE” Noticing is paying attention without judgement. The “without judgement” part is key.

Let’s take some observations I made about myself recently: • I turn on my phone to check email and Facebook when my

The first part, the noticing and wondering, is where our path

children are climbing on top of me and/or asking for more

towards wealth, wisdom, strength, and more become clarified.

food. I don’t have the same instinct to reach for my phone

Ironically, this is the part of reflection that we tend to overlook

when I’m reading them a story or sitting outside and watching

the most.

them play.

I have a tendency to jump too fast to that last part of reflection: that part where I act. I’m a planner and a doer who is always asking “what’s next?” While those skills serve me well at times, I’ve also learned that a pause for reflection really clarifies the next step in important ways.

• When I think about what I “deserve” I’m usually thinking about iced coffee or chocolate.

• The same activity that works in my afternoon class does not elicit the same level of response in my morning class.

Specifically, reflection clarifies what we truly want to spend our time and energy on. This clarity comes into focus in the space of NOTICING and WONDERING. I invite you to sit and notice and wonder. Stay here with me just until you start to get

continued on next page

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Sometimes when I notice parts of my life like this, a negative voice in my head starts to judge me. The phrases “why am I so lazy” and “why can’t I just do this?” come up.

Noticing (instead of reacting or planning) helps me quiet those voices down. Yes, I’m going to act on observations— later. For right now, I just want to bring in awareness, without planning to do anything.

Once we learn to be aware, we can practice sitting with that awareness. We can give ourselves space to wonder.

Reflect + Release

HOW TO WONDER Wondering takes you out of the space of judgment and

The following questions will help you both notice

moves you to a space of curiosity.

and wonder. Choose 1-2 noticing questions to carry

When you’re feeling that urge to act on what you notice,

prompts to explore those observations!

with you for a day or two. Then, use the “wondering”

take a step back and WONDER. Ask questions. Get curious about what is at the root of what you notice. For example: • I notice that I turn to my phone to check email and Facebook when my children are climbing on top of me and/or asking for more food . . .

• Then, I wonder. What personal needs are leading me

Questions for Noticing • When are you feeling joyful? When are you not?

• When is your “inner critic” raising her voice?

• What have you been planning to do tomorrow...for a month? What is getting in the way?

• What are you proud of?

moments? Distraction? Escape? Validation? A way to

• What are your hopes for today? For tomorrow?

For next week? For next month?

hide and be left alone for 5 whole minutes?

• What do you see/hear/smell?

to check my phone. What am I looking for in these

Wondering gets at the heart of what is going on and it gives us a way to respond to our inner critic.

REFLECTION: NOTICE + WONDER  PLAN + ACT It took me years to figure out the value of “Noticing +

• What made you happy recently?

• What made you angry recently?

• What are you dreaming about?

Prompts for Wondering • What need are you filling with your choices and behaviors?

Wondering.” But after too many plans that didn’t work and

• Why do you find yourself attracted to certain people or situations?

goals that didn’t really make sense, I’ve come to realize

• Why did that work?

that “Noticing + Wondering” isn’t a luxurious part of reflecting; it’s the most essential part.

Once we know what things bring us comfort, we have the option of bringing comfort with us wherever we go.

Marie Levey-Pabst is the founder of the Create Balance method. She teaches parents to create balance between family, work, and personal fulfillment. Connect with Marie at @CreateBalanceCommunity on Facebook or at CreateABalancedLife.com.

Photos by Create Her Stock

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

• What achievements am I proud of? How did I do those?

• When did I spend time in a way that lined up with my essential values?

• Where did I minimize time on something that is not essential? How did I do that?

• What surprises me?

• What are some patterns I see?

• Why? (just ask this question anytime you want to write more on a topic, but aren’t quite sure what comes next!)

P H O T O by @ C A T B A L L O U 2 4

L I FE REF L ECT I O N S

Heart On My Sleeve

Letters To My Daughter

by Mary Lambert, 2014

by Maya Angelou, Pub. 2009

Mary Lambert’s first full length album, “Heart

In this intimate reflection, Maya Angelou

on My Sleeve,” is a melodic reflection of life

comments on her remarkable life experiences

and experiences. Lambert’s powerhouse voice

with humility and candor. In doing so, she calls

takes us on our own individual journeys even

on women everywhere to lead the way to a

while reminding us that we all share similar

more ideal world. Dedicated to the daughter

struggles. The message? No one is perfect.

she never had but sees all around her, Letter

This album is as real and authentic as its

to My Daughter reveals Angelou’s path to

message. If you’re looking for simple, beautiful

living well and with meaning. Whether you’re

music, then this is the album for you.

a mother or a daughter (or both), you will find wisdom within this book.

The Essential Louise Hay Collection

by Louise Hay, Pub. 2013

A gorgeous collection of three of Louise Hay’s most popular books, this collection is put together to teach proper boundaries, and aid us in being in control of our feelings (rather than being controlled by them). By teaching us to reflect on our old ideas, Hay helps us see whether any limiting beliefs are the cause of illness and discord. This book will resonate with any woman ready to change her thinking and improve the quality of her life.

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T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

REALIZE

E M B R AC E

Potential with

Julia Grimaldi

Every day is a new beginning, ripe for intentions to change, grow, and move forward.

A

fitting time to notice and reflect, a morning meal

Whether it be lingering alone in your kitchen, wrangling

comprises sustenance and intention. This simple, yet

others off to school, or listening to your favorite podcast on

weighty moment suggests pause and appreciation.

the way to work, step into each day, with the same promise,

We sit down before anything has happened (yet), and take

excitement, and curiosity with which we approach a new

the opportunity to think about how we may spend and use

year. Pray, meditate, enjoy your coffee. “Pretty� up your

our time and energy for the rest of the day, not the week,

overnight oats before posting on Instagram. Know and trust

month, or the year.

that your gifts, challenges, and achievements await.

In the mornings, we are rested. Surprisingly, for about eight hours, the world went on without us. We did nothing while we slept. No lists were made, emails sent or received, status’ updated, or deadlines made or missed. We come alive, awakening to a day filled with potential.

Julia is a holistic health & food coach. Learn more about her at CoachJuliaG.com.

Photo by Mary Elizabeth, @itsmaryelizabeth.

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REALIZE

Martini Reflections with

Crystal Cathcart

There is a certain je ne sais quoi about martinis. Is the woman reflecting the radiance of the drink, or is the drink reflective of the woman’s natural confidence?

Self-awareness and confidence rooted deep within ourselves allows us to widen our view on how much we have accomplished: the victories of life, from small wins to major accomplishments. All are worthy of our recognition.

While our lives often feel shaken or stirred, reflecting on the successes in everything we have created around us is grounding. Reflection serves as a reminder of how much we already have, even while defining or refining our abundant aspirations.

As you sip on your next espresso or dirty martini, radiate that confidence back through the glass and own the sophistication that you so rightfully have earned. The pace at which we choose to manage our lives is our own, as are the rewards we reap along the way.

Imbibe more of Crystal’s cocktail sensibilities on Instagram @paisleyrosie.

PHOTO by Life Unstill Photography

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REALIZE

Embrace Genuine Motivation with

Shana Schneider

Instead of running through the same cycle this year, let’s embrace a new one.

M

otivation, particularly around getting fit, seems

big, audacious goal. Or, you’re picturing yourself as part

to be in endless supply at the beginning of the

of a social movement making real change for a group that

year. Then the months pass, and we wonder

needs help.

where the motivation went. What if you started thinking about your motivation for getting and staying fit in a

Being healthy and having energy will make doing these

different way?

things easier and more fun. This month, take some time

Reflect on where your passion lies. Your fitness motivation

then embrace that as the motivation you need to be your

is specific to you. You’ll know it when you start to reflect

healthiest self throughout the year.

to first reflect on what you are passionate about and

on it and the hairs on the back of your neck stand on edge from excitement or knowing it’s something or someone you would fiercely fight for.

Perhaps you envision yourself with your kids or grandkids as adults. Maybe your business will finally achieve that T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

Find out your Fit Style by following Shana on Instagram @fitstylebyshana.

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T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

REALIZE

Product Placement If you’re a shop owner or small batch maker who would like to be featured in one of our issues, fill out our product collab form.

Embrace Healing Reconnecting with our innermost desires is facilitated by healing tools of all shapes and sizes. A stone or mantra offers insight and courage; a candle or spray can spark divine intuition; and healing scents can shift energy to promote reflection. This month, embrace the tools that bring you the most comfort and inspiration. The healing effects will linger all year long.

F E AT U R E D P R O D U C T S Our selection of healing products was curated by The Funky Hippie, an eclectic gift and art shop in Stamford, CT. 90% of the items in Nicole’s store are handmade in Connecticut, and many are by female makers. Visit her Instagram at @thefunkyhippie101, or browse online at Etsy.com/shop/thefunkyhippie.

ORGANIC LAVENDER EYE PILLOW ($12) by Nikki Michele EUCALYPTUS SOAP ($7) by Sun Bloom Soap Works HEART CHAKRA BEESWAX CANDLE ($3.50) by Blooming Lotus Energy Works AROMATHERAPY SPRAY ($18) by Open Heart Apothecary CEDARWOOD & BERGAMOT MINI SOY CANDLE ($7) by Natural Annie Essentials ORIGINAL WATERCOLOR ENERGY PENDANT ($40) by Jen Faye “LEARN TO REST” STONE ($6) by The Funky Hippie

Photo by Giulianne Martins @giuliannemartins.

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REALIZE

Embrace the Open Road with photographer

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

Joanna Fisher

When’s the last time you plunged deep into a fantasy? When you listened to your heart and intuition telling you to “just go”?

Taking time off might seem counterintuitive to moving forward; yet, you long to get away. And why shoudn’t you? Pressing demands of daily life often take precedence over our desires to connect with, and take care of, ourselves. Sometimes getting away is the only way—if we truly want to live our ideal lives.

When you listen to your divine feminine wisdom, opportunities become reality. Roads become pathways. And other worlds become enriching experiences. In solitude, your life becomes enchanted, at least for a little while. Upon return, you’ve stocked up on a wealth of energy: just the amount needed to move you to your next destination.

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T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

Connecticut native Joanna Fisher has visited 15 countries, 35 U.S. states, and intends on seeing 50 countries by the age of 50.

Follow her on Instagram @Joanna_Fisher.

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REALIZE

Embrace Ritual with

Leigh Schwab

Self-care offers rituals for reflection and relaxation

S

ome may consider my personal skin care routine fairly

Small self-focused tasks like meditation or simply washing

lengthy and product-heavy. I consider this “me time�

your face can help you clear your mind and help you relax.

important, and my enjoyment of the ritual of self-care is

A deliberate routine creates consistency which in turn

worth the time it takes. My beauty routine is actually one of my

promotes relaxation because you know what is coming next.

favorite moments of each day.

You can use your self-care rituals to clear your head, to focus

I make a list first thing every morning of what I need to

on yourself, or to plan your upcoming day.

accomplish that day or within the week. I then use stars to

With or without an involved routine, I urge you to take some

mark the most important tasks and then I move on with my

time for self-care and appreciation every day. Ritual self-care

morning. A brain dump helps me relax and keeps my mind from

will help you relax, calm your mind, and reflect with focus.

focusing on the things I need to get done.

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

BeYOUtiful

1

Our morning beauty rituals can relax us inside and out. Once relaxed, we are more able to reflect on the day we want to have. Best of all, the effects of starting out relaxed can last all day long.

1

Focus on the Face.

Slow and deliberate movements can help us turn our brains off and focus on the activity at hand. I love my rose quartz facial massager because it forces me to focus on my skin, while also helping me detox my lymphatic system.

Leigh recommends...

Rose Quartz Facial Massager

2

Relax Your Morning.

2

We don’t often think of relaxation first thing in the morning, yet a morning ritual can help prepare your day and keep you relaxed by clearing your mind and allowing time for reflection. First cleanse your face, then spritz with lavender hydrosol, and follow with a light layer of balancing face oil and you will be energized yet relaxed.

Leigh recommends...

Kaliks Revive Lavender Hydrosol

3

Get into Your Head.

I have found meditation extremely helpful in relaxing my mind and making me more productive. My mind is constantly racing with information which can make it very difficult to relax, reflect, or simply move to the next task. I add ten minutes of meditation into my morning, and feel productive all day.

3

Leigh recommends...

Headspace

Leigh Schwab uses her love for skin care to help educate women about the ingredients in their products and the need for proper skin care legislation in our country. Learn more about her passion for a healthy and simple life on Facebook and Instagram @leighschwab.

Photos by Lindsay Stanford, @lindsay_stanford

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REALIZE

January Self-Care More Gratitude. At the end of the day, take a moment to look back and find three things (events, people, reflections, etc) that went well. Pause. Say, “I am grateful for…” and relive that moment again in your mind, drinking in the feelings once again.

More Reflection. Practicing reflection can be as simple as pausing before taking action. Whenever your phone rings or a notification pops up, pause for a moment and take a deep breath in and out before answering/attending to that task.

E M BRA CE A BU N D A N CE

Our brains are wired for survival, so they are good at getting stuck in feelings of lack (not enough time, energy, money, etc.). The next time you find yourself in “lack mode,” switch to “abundance mode” and think about what you DO have (car, house, family, friends, food…). What we give energy to grows, so why not choose to reflect on the wealth, prosperity, and abundance we already have in order to allow ourselves to receive more? Having an abundant mindset is more fun, promotes gratitude, and leads to long-term wealth.

N AT U R E

ORAC L E C ARD

MANT RA

VIS UALIZATI O N

Rainbow/Crystal

Magical Gratitude

"My needs are taken care of"

Vison Board

BENEFITS

BENEFITS

BENEFIT S

BENEFI TS

Provides proof of the beauty when light shines through

Connects you to the magic of a grateful heart

Promotes abundant mindset and a new wealth narrative

Names your desires and offers a visual reminder

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

T O O L K I T curated by @ A L L I S O N L R I C H A R D

Sleepwear for a Cause mct-usa.org

Bringing you closer to nature davinejewelry.com

Our mission at SaltyGirl is to empower all women to #ownyourbeauty!

Be bold, embrace your sass, Show Strength and StaySalty! You are beautiful. www.saltygirlboutique.com

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REALIZE

Embrace Now with

Cait Sherrick

In place of outrageous goals, let’s stick with what we know is working.

I

made it a part of my self-care routine long ago to make

You noticed that right? ...that I said to work with what you

changes at any point throughout the year whenever I feel like

already have and style what you already own? It sounds silly, but

I need to. I assess where I’m at and how I feel, decide where

it really is that easy. Put your sense of style to use and focus on

I’d like to be and how I’d like to feel, and I immediately start to do little things every day to help me feel that particular way.

where you are right now.

Maybe it’s a bracelet made of stones that carry meaning for you.

Because our sense of style is so much a part of our lives, it is one

Maybe it’s that scarf you wear with every outfit because you love

of the easiest daily little things to change and help you along

how it envelops you. Maybe it’s as simple as wearing a perfume

the way. Make it a point to buy key pieces that add to what you

scent that grounds you every time you smell it.

already have, so you can re-invent and re-style the things you already own.

Wearing a special token allows for daily reflection: it’s a simple, easy way to remind yourself of how far you’ve already come, how hard you’ve already worked, and how you deserve it all.

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

OW

BUY N

from tial Essen nt me Adorn

Embrace an Aquamarine Bracelet

1

Calming and soothing, aquamarine encourages reflection during any small moment throughout your day.

1

2

Meditation.

Focusing on your breath is the no fuss way to bring you back to the present moment. Wear your favorite yoga leggings with thick socks, an oversized tank top and throw on a sweater that lets you move. Your bracelet adds a sense of calm; you’ll be levitating off your meditation pillow in just a few minutes.

Pictured: leggings, tank top, sweater, socks, Essential Adornment Aquamarine Reflection Bracelet

2

Morning Coffee.

It’s no secret that drinking your morning coffee is a sacred ritual. Grab your softest sweatpants, your favorite hoodie and your cozy slippers…or maybe just roll out of bed. Pair it all with your aquamarine bracelet for an added reminder of everything you already have.

Pictured: sweatpants, hoodie, slippers, Essential Adornment Aquamarine Reflection Bracelet

3 3

Vision Board.

Dress for the life you want to have, whatever that means to you. Pairing your bracelet with a mantra sweatshirt helps you reflect on everything you already are and everything you are in the process of becoming.

Pictured: jeans, boots, mantra sweatshirt, Essential Adornment Aquamarine Reflection Bracelet

Cait Sherrick is a jewelry designer + stylist for mildly rebellious flow-goers at Leocadia K. She’s deeply inspired by modern art, has a boho heart + loves the warm, unconditional love of a good cup of chai tea. Join her on Instagram @caitsherrick for daily inspiration + visit her shop for more every day outfit ideas.

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P H O T O by @ G I U L I A N N E M A R T I N S

P E R SPECT I V ES from T H E PA N EL

What's your favorite way to lean in to the New Year?

I enter the new year with an open mind and heart, welcoming

Amy

opportunities in the year to come and expressing gratitude for the

Owner Craftivate

day my true New Year. I welcome the prospect of getting older: I grow

@craftivatect CraftivateCT.com

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

year passed. My birthday is in January and each year I consider that more true in the ways I live and love; I know myself better as I age; and I understand just a little bit of the world better than I did the year before.

REALIZE

I like to welcome each new year with a fresh vision board and some lofty

Heather Success Coach @vickeryandco VickeryandCo.com

dreams. While I don't make promises or resolutions, I surround myself with visions and ideas to manifest those things into reality. I write down what I am grateful for from the year past and what I look forward to in the year ahead and set some challenges for myself. I also create a list of "ways I want to be" and work diligently to stay true to them.

I lean in to the new year with a tradition that I really look forward

Lisa

to. At the beginning of each year, I set out a glass bowl, small

Founder Living Fully Balanced LLC

throughout the year I write down the little and not so little blessings

@livingfullybalanced LivingFullyBalanced.com

sheets of paper, and a pen. I call this my "Blessings Bowl" and all of my life. Then on New Year's Eve, I take time to sit in front of the fire and honor all that I've been blessed to experience.

By asking myself, "What brought you the most joy this past year?"

Taylor

and then focusing on that answer while setting new intentions. On

Artist/Writer/ Homesteading Mother

that *honest* written intentions become reality much quicker than

@living.ontheland StudioOnTheLand.com

my journey with intention and the Law of Attraction, I've realized those that get lost in mind-space. For this reason, I recommend keeping a tiny notepad and a favorite pen handy at all times.

Donella Wellness Diva

I lean in to the New Year by intentionally loving on @iamdonella

women who are searching for their place in life.

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In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect, whole, and complete.

P H O T O by @ W A L K E R S T U D I O S L L C

– L O UI SE H AY

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

to align your physical space with your ever-evolving self

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A R T W O R K by @ J A M I E G A L L E Y

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

mirror /' mir r / noun e

A reflective surface offering the clarity of introspection.

A R T by @ A M A N D A L U I S A A R T

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T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

DWELL

Handmade Reflection with

Erin Mahollitz

Remind your soul of what matters most with a banner of love and joy.

Handmade prayer flags are a heartfelt way to celebrate abundance in your life. When you see the flags flutter in the breeze, your attention will return to the good thoughts written on them. Your words are carried on the wind, letting the world know of your good fortune.

Make these flags with simple materials: fabric squares, permanent markers, twine, and some clothes pins for hanging. More than the construction, beauty lies in the intention with which you create. Honor your own definition of wealth and write about what is rewarding for you.

Giving a set of flags to a loved one can be a powerful way to mark a new beginning. Ours were made in lieu of a guest book at our wedding. Each square reveals a different perspective on love. When we recollect this co-creation, we’re reflecting on shared abundance.

Hang your handmade prayer flags where you will see them blowing in the wind, their occasional movement just enough to catch your eye. The dancing fabric invites you to reflect, again and again, on the abundance in your life.

See how Erin embraces the act of homemaking as sacred and feminist on Instagram @mindfulhomemaking.

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DWELL

The Essence of Home with

LaToya Burton

Use your home to explore and celebrate your unique style and personal story.

O

ur homes reflect our inner state. Knowledge of this private space within reveals how best to nurture our growth and wellbeing

no matter where we are, how to tune into what we need in an outer home to help us THRIVE. This discernment with what we bring into our outer space shows how little we truly need to feel at home wherever we find ourselves.

What if we looked at style as a feeling: an energy we want to evoke rather than a trend or fashion?

We would feel our way into the pieces we bring into our space, from basic furniture elements to the decorative additions. We would notice what patterns enliven us and understand which colors soothe us.

We might just find that shape or material that calls us HOME every time.

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Over the past year my family has been living in a bus where we

how we live and assessing what we are naturally drawn to,

travel and explore daily. By downsizing and aiming to surround

our home—despite being a bus—supports our passions. And, of

ourselves with only the things we love and enjoy—those things

course, it is a space unique to us!

we find useful and pleasing to our eyes—we are arriving at the essence of a home that supports our values. Though I don't consider myself a pure minimalist, this mindset has helped me

To allow your natural design aesthetic to unfold, ask lots of questions. Reflect on the home in which you live and the things

to discover what I truly enjoy.

you’re surrounded with. Do they support your chosen lifestyle?

Bringing in our personal sense of beauty and comfort is

of travel, adventure, and creative pursuits leads my family to a

also fun! We’ve authentically styled our traveling home by

tiny home on the road, reflective of our family’s essence.

decorating without the rules. We’ve added “expression and passion” as Elizabeth Gilbert puts it. By being honest about

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

Does your home allow for exploration of your full self? A love

Where will your desires lead you?

Dwell on This When we intentionally create a home that reflects our desired experiences, our home becomes a personal expression of our inner life and personal tastes. The following are some practices I’ve put into place in my own (tiny) home:

1

Think Practically.

Consider focusing on needs rather than trends, choosing beautiful yet practical items. Our old dining table was cut down to make our new dining seats.

My favorites are hand woven baskets including our repurposed birdfeeder, and the tile in the center of our table adds character while also serving the function of holding hot pots at dinnertime.

2

Explore and Document.

Seeking inspiration? Keep a visual journal including images and notes of spaces and things you are inspired by (Pinterest is an option too), then decode what you have saved and use the elements you see repeated the most to inform your decor decisions. On the bus our love of nature and color are reflected in feather and fish patterned curtains, and the various woods used to build the casework has become a main feature.

3

Take Risks.

Let your space be a work in progress. Try things out, choose things you are drawn to and they are likely to find a harmony with each other. Textiles and art are two simple and easily changeable ways to try out new colors, patterns, or styles you’re unsure of. Add one or two things to a room at a time and sit with them before adding more. Allow your home to evolve as you do.

LaToya is a mama / imaginer / gypsy nomad who explores life through the lens of interiors imagination and inspiration. She lives on a bus with her husband and son exploring the Australian landscape. For more inspiration, follow her @latoyaburton_musing.

Photos by @latoyaburton_musing.

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T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

A Wealthy Space C H O O S I N G A N D C U R AT I N G A

PLACE WHERE YOU CAN LIVE

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DWELL

“I am a wealthy woman and you all are the gems to my crown,” states my mother frequently.

From her I have come to clearly understand that wealth need not be measured solely on currency.

Wealth is also accrued within your heart from cherished memories made over a lifetime.

Nowhere is this mindset more apparent than in our tiny side porch, the porch we’ve lovingly christened The Adult Side—the porch where we create memories and live our best lives.

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We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.

– ANAIS NIN

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F

rom the moment I stepped inside the “Pearl Street” shack, as I lovingly call it, I knew she would be our home. I could see all that

needed to be done to make her beautiful. The way the sunlight streamed through the windows warmed the space, inviting me to stay. I knew this was where we should settle down—I envisioned us in this happy home filled with love.

One of my favorite spaces was the teeny tiny—by all accounts, ugly—front porch. (Okay, it wasn't even a porch; it was the front door landing!) This stoop, as grandmother called it, was just large enough to hold a folding table, two chairs, and a highchair.

On warm nights, I would set our little folding table up as though we were dining on some grand wraparound porch with plenty of space for gathering us all and then some. Together we would dine by candlelight and share our days, stories, and dreams. We loved the magic of dining al fresco, greeting neighbors walking by, seeing kids play on the sidewalk.

Years passed and three kiddos later, we quickly outgrew that old stoop and began construction on our version of a dream outdoor space: a long, wraparound porch with a center entranceway mudroom. This design clearly defined two outdoor spaces - the big side for large gatherings and the small side for more intimate gatherings.

Raising a growing family with their friends always about, the smaller side provided that natural separation. We now had a space for kid/family time and a space for adult time. We had created what became most fondly known as “The Adult Side” of the porch.

Now a defined space with purpose, the adult side of the porch just needed a few boundaries and an element of fire. Yes, I wanted a chimenea on the porch! We declared this side only for adults; no baby gates, kiddos with toys, kids friends and all their messes. Only adults were to share this mystical space.

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Interestingly, what comes with defining a space is not just structural. Our spaces also affect us emotionally, spiritually, and socially. While the whole porch is built from the same materials and color scheme, the Adult Side is clearly defined by what is there in relation to its purpose. Given its size, I spent a lot of time and attention to what needs to be there and why.

That being said, I am also the queen of moving furniture around.

Depending on my mood and what vision I have for using the adult side of the porch, I frequently change up how the furniture fits in the space. My vision of the color palette, though, never changed: the colors had to be pulling me back to the shore.

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Color Inspiration Head to p. 59 to read more about Paula's favorite colors.

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One of my favorite pieces of furniture on the porch is a piece of driftwood that we made into a base for a glass top table.

Washed ashore after one of our recent hurricanes, the wood might have been the root end of a large tree. The knurled and twisted shape provides three perfect points of balance. Its purpose now is to hold a vintage glass oil lamp and a few cocktails or coffee mugs, depending on the time of day.

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

My most fun item on the porch is a mounted antique bell. On the top of the bell is a figure of a Maine Moose! For 16 years we have gone to Maine for vacation with NO moose sightings. This is now a thing in our family…I need to see one!

One vacation, my husband found this bell, hoping to cure my obsession with seeing a live “Maine Moose.” (I still really want to see a real live one.)

Reflecting on my porch and the memories we have there has made me realize its distinct uses for the times of day we are there. I love how each time of day has a unique purpose and reflecting on how I’ve curated a space that’s diverse yet intimate has made me more appreciative.

Design Values

MEANDERING MORNINGS The porch screams lazy Sunday morning brunch!

The porch is one of my favorite places to sit and

The sun streams in through an old reclaimed

contemplate and I’ve set it up to be a place that

window warming the space and sending sun

invites rest and reflection. Here are some things I’ve

beams across the floor, and we feel secure and

done to honor my values and promote peacefulness:

cozy. This is a time and space for lingering over coffee, breakfast, or maybe even my favorite…a Bloody Mary!

1

Connection.

Creating connections through conversations—including writing to yourself! Reflecting in a journal can be just as peaceful as a quiet talk with a friend over coffee. Facilitating room for conversations can be as simple as having an extra chair on hand, or—if the person you want to get to know better is yourself, then a writing table, cushions, and comfy textiles are wonderful items to have on hand.

There is often lively conversation recapping world events, politics—or my next craft project. Music plays and all the oil lamps are lit for ambiance. The mood is one of pure fun—enjoying each other’s company, stocking up good feelings for the day to come.

2

Clarity.

Getting quiet and still so you can find your inner voice will illuminate your direction in life and create the vision for your life. Several areas of our porch are conducive to stillness (which brings clarity), including the fact that there’s a door that I can close when I need to! Also, the first— as mentioned—brings warmth and coziness; I highly recommend a fire element in your thinking space.

MAGICAL EVENINGS Just as there is magic in the morning light, so too is there magic in the evening. The porch faces East, so we see the moon rise. Twilight moving into darkness allows all the candles and lamps to shine. Then, the “Pearl Street Bistro” comes to life.

Though having a chimenea on a covered porch isn’t customary, this was a non-negotiable. What bistro doesn't have a chimenea glowing!

After the table has been set with our culinary delight, accompanied by wine and music of

3

Creativity.

Lean in to releasing your inner curiosity and playfulness. Be surprised and delighted for your gifts and talents. Create for the joy of it. Don’t judge yourself before you even start! In addition to having creativemaking items on hand, one of my favorite ways to facilitate a spirit of creativity is by surrounding myself with handmade items, whether made by me or someone else.

the moment, I will post a photo on Facebook/ Instagram. True story, I have had posts back asking me where “this Bistro” is and details about it! As if it was a real restaurant. We laugh out loud

If you share the values of Connection, Clarity, and Creativity, you can put these design ideas to use in any room of your house—and, in any season!

and say that we must be having the best fireside meal in all the area!

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L AT E N I G H T L O U N G I N G I cherish the nights we pull up comfy chairs close to the fire and sit staring at the flickering flames. Winter is the best for

Memories that are my legacy, my wealth. Memories we reflect on over and over, cherishing the experiences the Adult Side has given to us.

this. All the heavy blankets and hot drinks come out to keep us

I constantly remind myself how blessed we are to have this

warm while we share conversations involving dreams, plans

space. An outdoor space to play, create, entertain, and dream.

for the future, and lots of wishes and what-ifs.

An observation post to watch nature change, from season to

Truth be told, as kiddos turn into tweens and then teens, they are attracted to this place of mystique. These “non-adults”

season. Having this space to reflect, play, and just be myself is a constant reminder that I am a wealthy woman indeed.

peer over and ask to sit with us. Who knew if we created a special place just for us, our kids would be asking to hang out here—with us!

The porch is so much more than the “look and feel” I have created. These porch times are times of creating memories.

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

Paula Jean is the Founder and Chief Purpose Officer of PURPOSEworks, a company focused on creating tools and resources for those seeking a journey of self discovery and self expression. She is also the creator and author of the book PURPOSEpages, and the inspirational art cards, PURPOSEprints. Connect with her at: YourPurposeWorks.com.

Photos by Anaise Prince

Early Morning corresponds to Benjamin Moore 2119-50

Sea Foam corresponds to Benjamin Moore OC-17

My Happy Place corresponds to Benjamin Moore 2064-10

BEA CH I N S PI RED

Sea Grass corresponds to Benjamin Moore 498

Come back to your happy place, the place that reminds you of everything you love.

The beach is a magical place, the ocean a powerful reminder of the ebbs and flows of life. At once grounding and freeing, the sand, sea, and ocean air inspire us to combine natural elements in enlivening ways: murals, “found” art, sculptural elements, and graceful yet fleeting pockets of color. Yes, Mother Nature is the best decorator!

If the beach isn’t your magical place but you love nature’s aesthetic, try this palette in these other ways:

Driftwood corresponds to Benjamin Moore 2108-40

Meditation Altar

Calm Center

Bring in the calm, grounding presence of blues

Fill your hallway or “command center” with

and grays, and complement them with elements

natural elements as a reminder that calm

of nature: stone, water, and wood.

promotes productivity. Keep walls and shelves neutral and use your favorite stones or crystals as enlivening elements.

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DWELL

Shop the Look Curate creativity with your very own inspirational corner, where you can sit with your thoughts, journal your dreams, or just drink a piping hot cup of coffee. Whether on the porch or in a reserved indoor corner, incorporate the grace of nature in all its states: texture, color, and structure.

Suggested products for a similar look: AFRICAN MUD CLOTH PILLOW ( from $125) by Heartwood Goods ∙ RUSTIC HANGING MASON JAR ($18) by Grace on 6th via Etsy ∙ T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

FACETED LANTERN ( from $49) via West Elm ∙ DIP-DYED STOOL ( from $58) via Serena & Lily

Congrats to our friends at The Optimist Co. for their write-up in the Forbes 2017 Gift Guide. See more yummy cleaning products at: TheOptimistCo.com.

Shop Now

TPY Core Values Wall Banner

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P H O T O by @ A M A N D A L U I S A A R T

Where thou art, that is home.

– EM I LY DI CK I N SON

to align your life story with your ever-evolving sense of self

A R T W O R K by @ J A M I E G A L L E Y

T H REE Q U ES T I O N S

with

Mary

What's one area in which Reflection has

How do you think Reflection relates

How have you made your current work

brought you more Wealth?

to Wealth?

more Reflective of your whole self?

My career. The opportunity to reflect on what I wanted to be, instead of finding a new manager and going down that same path, was an opportunity for me to reclaim my business. I was very strong willed and pretty set on what I was going to artistically do, but I had been very disconnected from my actual business and the music. I reclaimed that by understanding what I wanted to achieve.

I feel like you can boil down any motivation, whether it’s money or sex or power, and the root of those desires is in the need to be loved and understood. We’ve socialized ourselves to understand the best way to achieve that is to make yourself digestible; but if we’re [just] making ourselves digestible, we’re not able to embrace the complexity of our full personhood.

Spoken word has kind of been in my blood, part of my artistic identity. Something happened to me when I was on a major label, that I wanted to quiet that part of me down and I wanted to focus on world domination and being the gay fat Taylor Swift; so I was trying to figure out how to be digestible. I quieted that down: this album and this tour is so much of what I want to put out into the world.

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T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

Lay Your Head Down HOW RELEASE CAN LEAD TO F R E E D O M , J O Y, A N D C O N N E C T I O N A Conversation with Mary Lambert

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This last year was possibly one of the worst on record, politically and personally, for many of us. I found myself repeating the phrase “life ain't a bowl full of cherries” more than I would like to admit. While talking with Mary Lambert, for a few blessed moments, all of that negativity blew away.

In Mary’s presence, I felt like I was swimming around in the biggest bowl of cherries imaginable. Mary’s laughter, the cadence of her voice, and her radiant positivity in the face of life’s obstacles left me astounded and drenched in joy.

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

Read our review of Mary’s first full-length album, “Heart On My Sleeve,” on p. 17 of this magazine!

M

ary Lambert rose to fame literally overnight. A graduate of Cornish College of the Arts in Seattle with a degree in composition, Mary was busy

singing, performing spoken word poetry, and applying to grad schools to become a music teacher when she got a call from a friend, asking if she’d be interested in contributing the refrain

…

After two years of touring, signing with a major record label, and putting out her first studio album, Heart on My Sleeve*, Mary reflected on her path and realized she needed to make a change. “I was exhausted and just wanted to go home. I was

for “Same Love” by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis.

looking forward to Thanksgiving, the only time I had at home.

Despite having only two hours to create something, Mary

golden beacon of, like, fudge and family.”

jumped at the chance, knocked out the chorus, and then joined Macklemore on an international tour which took her all the way to the Grammy Awards, where she sang in arguably the most moving and emotionally raw performance ever seen

It had been on the calendar, and I just kept looking at it as this

Instead, she got a surprise call from her manager and learned that she was needed in Australia. “I cried so hard,” says Mary, “feeling that they were taking away the only thing I had left.”

on the Grammy’s stage.

With a little clarity from her girlfriend, Mary was able to

Suddenly, Mary went from being a girl who could sing to a

which meant she could make the choice to make a change.

realize that she had made the choice to prioritize her career—

celebrated singer. Despite a life of significant trauma, Mary’s sweet spirit and powerful gift comes through in every lyric she writes. She embraces her story, especially her challenges, to find joy and meaning—something listeners have responded positively to.

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After realizing that she could determine her own

Her current tour, ‘Everybody is a Babe,’ is the “final

“ideology,” Mary went on to apply that wisdom rigorously

culmination of that endeavor” and Mary’s way to rewrite

to her life, taking ownership of her career, schedule, and

her entire pop career.

artistic expression. “There’s not going to be a ‘they’ telling me I can’t do something. I’m gonna do whatever I want, and

Colorful and refreshing, Mary’s album, Bold, feels like a

it’s gonna be fun.”

warm conversation with a friend: the highs and lows of

…

songs get your toes tapping, like “I’d Be Your Wife,” and

After leaving Capitol Records, Mary decided to self-release her third EP, Bold, which is a celebration of her unique

life, shared and mourned and celebrated together. Some others will bring out the handkerchiefs, like the duet “Love is Love.”

identity and newfound independence. “I wanted to find

The track “Lay Your Head Down,” featuring her spoken

the joy again, and Bold really represents that,” says Mary.

word poetry, is the album’s masterpiece. In this outpouring

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

of feelings, Mary bounces between adorable quips about

By pushing pop beyond its socially constructed boundaries,

chocolate cake, the vapidity of social media, and the

her lyrics call the listener to a deeper state of reflection.

overwhelming agony of shame, all while the steady current

Music provides “an opportunity to talk about those

of her piano carries the listener through.

experiences and heal,” she says. Mary finds this lyrical

…

The sheer openness that radiates from Mary’s most recent album establishes a vulnerability the listener feels compelled to return. She opens her heart to us, and then gently asks us to take a look at our own” “What is the state

vulnerability a powerful and enjoyable calling.

Mary’s transparency gives readers permission to pull their own shame skeletons out of the closet. “Whether it was talking about incest, mental illness, or body image, any time that I opened up, the response was overwhelming.”

of your heart? Is it concave? Are you awake?,” she writes. continued on page 73

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Let it go, Let it be.

Maybe it isn’t shame that you’re dealing with, but we’ve all got feelings that are damaging to our psyche and, thus, derailing us from living our ideal life. Releasing those feelings takes courage and willpower, and a PLAN. The following are some of the complicated ways that reflection + release can lead to the rewarding feelings of freedom + joy

1

Change Your Mindset, then Your Life.

An abundant mindset means choosing to focus on what you have rather than what you don’t. While being wealthy takes more than manifesting, we believe in the power of positivity and focus. Sit with yourself and ask: what do I want more of?

Then: think about it and think about it some more. These great ideas will lead to a life of good vibes.

2

Saying No is really Saying Yes. Our heart often knows what we need to resist—but the world doesn’t make it easy for us to say no. Getting silent and reflecting on your values can be the first step in feeling confident to say no. Remember, when you say no to something you don’t want, you’re making space for something you DO WANT to show up. Then, you can go out and get it!

3

Progress takes a Willingness to Be Imperfect.

While working toward what you want can be exhilarating, all too often the inner critic shows up and slows us way down.

Releasing the need to be perfect opens up paths to various actions and solutions we might not think of otherwise.

Imperfection also invites flexibility, curiosity, and self-love— all of which are way more productive anyway!

4

Happiness Fades while Joy Lasts Forever.

You’ve probably figured out by now that mere happiness doesn’t last all that long. Things or experiences can be super exhilarating—for a moment—and then you’re left with the memory (and, all too often, regret). Joy, on the other hand, is the real deal. Finding joy means starting from a place of openness and reflection to figure out what brings you longlasting peace of mind.

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…

Cognizant of her ability to be a “vessel for hope,” Mary remembers writing her first song—at the age of 8 or 9—-in which she wrote lyrics that caused her audience to cry. This formative experience showed her the power of songwriting, performing, —and music as a “shared experience.” Many years later, she continues to build upon that legacy.

Though she couldn’t have predicted her early fame or her intentional journey since, Mary says she “always knew I wanted to do something to change the world, to heal the world.” It makes sense, then, that she equates being a musician who performs with fulfilling one’s civic duty. Finding the balance between this “obligation to be a force of good in the world” and her own artistic integrity is a feat at which she excels.

By reclaiming her creative power and shedding society’s expectations, Mary is In turn, this intimate response from her audience has provided Mary with

stepping into her true self, healing her

a greater sense of personal connection, or “feeling less alienated” from

heart in the process. Her power is in her

the world.

vulnerability, her joy in transparency. Instead

…

As an independent celebrity, Mary has positioned herself to effect real change in the world. In particular, she is on a mission to rid the world of shame. “Shame is not a propeller in any way,” she says. “It’s not helpful; it’s

of being squashed by the issues that she’s faced throughout her life, Mary has chosen to sing along, with boldness and levity and hope, and—most powerfully—she is inviting the rest of us to join her.

toxic. It makes people live half-lives.”

Due to her experience of “feeling deep shame” for the majority of her life, “about identity, about the thoughts I had, and who I was,” Mary speaks knowingly yet lovingly. “I know the power of letting shame go,” she says.

Mary found reframing “certain mental patterns” to be a key to releasing much of her “interior turmoil.” When she saw this power of mindset work in her own life, she became an advocate for others dealing with similar issues, or shame in general.

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

Cate Clother is the founder & creative director of Cordella Magazine, an online quarterly featuring the work of women creatives from around the world.

She is passionate about art, ecology, spirituality, social justice, and feminine wisdom. Cate lives in an intentional community in Pennsylvania with her husband and three young children. Follow her @cordellamag.

Photos by @shervinfoto

Connect with Mary Follow on Instagram & Twitter @marylambertsing On the web at MaryLambertSings.com Or shop her merch at MaryLambert.bigcartel.com

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P H O T O by @ S H E R V I N F O T O

You can be so many things at once. – M A RY LA M B ERT

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

to align your innermost thoughts with your ever-evolving perspective

A R T W O R K by @ J A M I E G A L L E Y

I L L U S T R AT I O N B Y @ V E L A S Q U E Z S T U D I O

Zinnia

Known for its steadfast growth and effortless maintenance, Zinnia is a flower that meets its cultivator more than halfway. Soon after being cut, these colorful flowers produce new buds and regrow from their stem. With the new year upon us, reflecting on our personal goals moves us forward. When we look within, we see that, like the Zinnia, we can grow purposefully.

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We stop waiting to become as soon as we realize we already are. – SONYA RENEE

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

LIVE

This Year, Choose You with

Casee Marie

Discover your worthiness by reflecting on your triumphs.

A

n extraordinary thing happens when you spend some

Who wants to live in a world where a class-A diva like that is

quiet, introspective time with yourself in the space

calling all the shots on your worthiness? Does she notice any

of an old year shifting into a new one; for the first

of your triumphs from the last year? So you didn’t lose that

time in a great long while you truly see yourself. We all want

weight she demanded you rid yourself of; doesn’t she care

to be “seen” – by our peers, our families, our bosses, our

about the way you showed up for yourself in hard times with

loved ones. How often, though, do we focus on being truly

understanding and forgiveness?

and deeply, even reverently “seen” by our most important observer: ourselves?

Or how all of your passionate effort brought joy to your loved

How you choose to reflect is the fun and creative part. I’m

hug when laughing to the brink of tears with your best friend?

an avid journal-writer, and keep stacks of old journals in my

What about the way your body literally carried you through

dresser drawer. I’ve begun the habit of pulling one of them out

another 365 days of happiness and grief, of pain and pleasure?

now and again to revisit my past self.

Will she ever care about any of that?

At New Year’s I become a journaling monastic, carving

Here’s the thing: she can care; she will care, because she is

out many quiet mornings with a cup of coffee, my cozy

you. When you choose to step in as your joyful, compassionate

space heater (which looks like a fireplace - ambiance!), and

self, you can interrupt the diva’s tired old tirade and replace it

some soothing music. I settle in for the sacred practice of

with something beautiful, something that you truly deserve.

compassionate self-reflection, and I start by considering

ones and yourself? Or how you held your stomach in a gleeful

the joys.

When I left 2012 for 2013 I was in the midst of what would

Dwelling on the things that didn’t go our way last year is too

me publishing my “success story” online, complete with

easy; a vicious cycle is enacted when all you have to tangibly

before-and-after photos. Everyone congratulated me on

grasp from the resolutions of the year before is an overall

my achievement and I went on a shopping spree to fill up

become a significant weight loss - the kind that would have

message of, “Fix yourself; change yourself; you’re not good enough; you’re not worthy - not yet.” continued on next page

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my closet with all the different kinds of clothes I “couldn’t”

self with love and patience was more difficult than all that

(translation: wouldn’t) wear before.

weight loss but I didn’t show it off half as proudly.

I felt great physically, of course, but the most striking thing

Realizing this was the game-changer. Before I could truly

to me was the fact that my body image hadn’t improved. If

admire my full self, I had to embrace and heal—not my physical

I was now so “perfect,” why hadn’t I uncovered a healthy

self—but my emotional self. Through a reflection in which I

source of worthiness? In reality, my worthiness became

called myself “brave,” I walked into 2015 with a radical shift in

unhealthy because I was attributing it entirely to the number

perspective which set me up for continued growth.

on the scale.

My life hasn’t been 100% easy since then, and I’ve certainly

As 2014 shifted to 2015 I had “found” quite a bit of my “lost”

found myself mired in dark, heavy fogs of pain, loneliness,

weight; however, as I reflected on the year that had passed I

and heartbreak. Still, an unexpected blessing of living and

wrote the following in a letter to myself: I understand that I’m

acting from a place of intention and love - towards yourself

not “flawed” and I’m actually quite brave.

and towards others - is that you develop the patience and the

Reflecting on this year was different given that I had finally sought help and healing for my severe anxiety, a struggle for which I had been shaming myself for years. To see my anxious

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

grace necessary to stay with the challenges of life and to look for the lessons in them.

decided that you are wealthy in your worthiness, that you needn’t worry about becoming someone else because you’re already enough just as you are?

As you reflect on your 2017 triumphs and joys, consider what you can create space for in the new year, where your critical inner-diva’s demands would otherwise reside. By simply observing the year that has passed, and choosing to celebrate the strong, hopeful woman you are, you’ll find the “more” you are looking for in the coming year. You’ll find room for more joy, more creativity—and more YOU.

What would it look like if you moved into this year revived by your triumphs of the last rather than resolved to oneup yourself? What would you do differently if this year you

Casee Marie is a motivational writer living in Wallingford, Connecticut with her rescue pup, Blaze. She is the author of the online journal Hope & Harbor where she writes to encourage a deeper relationship with compassion and vulnerability. You can connect with her at caseemarie.com.

Photo by Amanda Luisa, MandaLuisa.com.

GET OUT OF SURVIVAL MODE

Create Balance on Your Own Terms is an online program that shows parents how to reclaim and maximize their time and energy using systems that work.

Apply at CreateBalancedLife.com/cboyt.

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LIVE

The Real You HOW REFLECTING ON Y O U R S T O RY C A N D E E P E N Y O U R R E L AT I O N S H I P S with

Casee Marie

Connection + Authenticity go hand in hand.

S

elf-love and acceptance are hardly marketable terms for this time of the year; instead, women are encouraged to be discontented in all areas

of our lives: to crave transformation around our bodies, our relationships, our careers, our intellect–pretty much everything. We focus our energy on changing rather than celebrating, recreating rather than reflecting.

With the New Year comes the laundry list of ways we resolve to be better versions of ourselves: a rather treacherous path we go down every year, with many pitfalls including comparison, shame, and lack. FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) kicks into high gear and we lament not being—or having—enough. We forget that real, lasting transformation comes from a deeper place of connection and authenticity.

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We become clearer on our passions, on what we require to live our best lives, and how we can open ourselves up to deeper connections.

S H O W I N G U P W I T H O U R S E LV E S Amazingly, when I stopped looking at my anxiety story as something to be covered up, I developed a new appreciation for just who I was and all the positive things that my anxiety had contributed to my life. I began to see my true self as an observant person, as an empath, and as a vehicle for compassion.

I developed a new understanding for the “fearful self” who just wants to be seen and comforted; I grew to admire my “protector self” who is quiet, yes, but very strong and incredibly passionate. In fact, I took on the words “quiet courage” as a sort of personal motto, a two-word manifesto for my truest self. After being controlled by fear for so much of my life, taking up the mantle of my authenticity was a revelation.

As a severe anxiety sufferer throughout my teens and young-adulthood, I spent many years trying to fit myself into an acceptable definition of a person: someone secure, not fearful; outgoing, not timid; mysterious, not avoidant.

Whereas, in reality, fear kept me paralyzed and blocked me from connecting with many different joyful parts of life.

Rather than acknowledge my uniqueness, I made excuses for not being the version of myself that I felt the world was expecting of me. Of course, this led to my keeping people at arm's length, a pattern many of us follow in different areas of our lives. Some of us may even identify with avoidance as our default way of being. This perspective values social expectations over staying true to ourselves and celebrating

Cultivating authenticity is an act of honest, all-encompassing reflection on You. Where are the sources of pride and wisdom in yourself? What are your struggles, and how have they shaped you? Acknowledging your virtues and your vices with equal acceptance doesn’t come easy, but that’s what makes it a “practice.”

Some women do this through creativity, some through spirit; there’s no wrong way to get to know your true self as long as you participate fully and open up to all that you are. By acknowledging the darkness and the light we discover that what we think are flaws are tools that help us to grow into our fullest and most passionate self.

what’s genuine within.

When we shift our focus to reflecting on our stories and

SHOWING UP WITH OTHERS

welcoming what we find with honesty, we get a much more

Unquestionably, owning our story is easier in private than

tangible experience of our lives. Rather than seeing our

openly communicating it to others. Vulnerability may be the

perceived flaws, we start to appreciate the transformational

most difficult muscle to flex. At the height of difficulty on my

nature of these things we’ve taken for granted.

journey with anxiety, I was terrified of meeting new people

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

for the simple reason that I dreaded the question, “What do

motion. The stronger your foundation of self-acceptance,

you do?” I couldn’t very well say, “I do Social Anxiety.”

the more confidently you’ll move into authenticity in your

Or could I? I experimented with opening up to family and

relationships.

friends, and eventually even to complete strangers as I met

Because realness attracts more realness, reflecting on your

them. My truth became this: I’m in recovery from a struggle

story can profoundly change the way you relate to other

with severe anxiety that occupied much of my life for a while.

people. You will find that your bravery evokes compassion

I’m doing quite well and continuing to grow in courage.

and engagement, your revelations are contagious. Through

A radical shift from the fearful self who always felt the need

acceptance and authenticity, you’ll find luminous and

to “hide” my flaws, to say the least.

emotional connections, forged with the very real, very

The people in my life didn't meet my newly-visible true self

vibrant You.

with the discomfort or disappointment I expected. They met me with respect and admiration. Many people could relate, and others were empathetic even when they couldn’t relate.

My openness invited the people around me into a more intimate space, changing my life experience exquisitely.

Being radically genuine with the people around us opens a

Casee Marie is a motivational writer living in Wallingford, Connecticut with her rescue pup, Blaze. She is the author of the online journal Hope & Harbor where she writes to encourage a deeper relationship with compassion and vulnerability. You can connect with her at caseemarie.com.

Photos by Becca Brendler, @beccabrendler

door to an even deeper acceptance within us, continuing the cycle our original willingness to be authentic set into

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Advertise with Us Below is a timeline showing our upcoming themes for Series 9 and the deadlines for submitting your ad. Learn more at bit.ly/TPYpartners.

ISSUE 1

ISSUE 2

IS S UE 3

IS S UE 4

APRI L 2 018

M AY 2018

J UN E 2018

J ULY 2018

Create Ease by Choosing Forgiveness

Create Wealth by Embracing Legacy

Create Fun by Unleashing Kindness

Create Joy by Celebrating Rarity

DU E: F EBRU ARY 16

DUE: M ARCH 16

D UE : AP R IL 13

D UE : M AY 11

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PHOTO BY @WALKERSTUDIOSLLC

To keep your truth in sight you must keep yourself in sight. – C. JOYBELL C. The W EALTH ISSU E

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Reflections an of the Editor O R H O W T O C R E AT E A L I F E O F E A S E , W E A LT H , F U N , A N D J O Y

Words by Lee Lee Thompson Photos by Joanna Fisher The W EALTH ISSU E

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LIVE

Living intentionally means checking-in with your values, often and honestly.

I

n January, the natural response to colder temperatures

the word, I am living my Ideal Life. That is to say, I’m living

combines with the soul’s ancient urge to take stock and

intentionally. And I want for you to know that you can do

recharge, making this a time of peace, ripe for Reflecting.

the same.

Soul-searching means sitting with my values—the feelings I desire. Reflecting means asking the intense questions because we need to know the answers to determine our next move.

As I reflect on my third year at the helm of The Perpetual You, I’m more curious than ever to assess whether I’m living my ideal life, one of Ease, Wealth, Fun, and Joy. I decided to “test” whether I was living with those feelings by coming up with three concrete ways I’m curating each one in my daily life.

I share this process, and its results, for two main reasons. First, I believe all women desire these feelings; indeed, that is why we adopted them as brand values. If you find yourself wanting more ease, wealth, fun, or joy, then I hope my reflections will provide you with concrete ways to curate them.

Secondly, I share this reflection with you because I value honesty and transparency above all else. I want to be seen as the type of leader who is experiencing the life she claims others can have. While my life isn’t perfect by any stretch of

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

CHOOSE EASE I interpret EASE as “acknowledgement and curation of my particular ideal conditions.” Note the lack of permanence in that definition; as we know, what brings us ease on any given day can fluctuate. Still, without a doubt, a constant aspect of choosing ease for myself is a mindful work/life blend.

Though the specifics might shift, I need to know that, overall, I have the flexibility to focus on what is most pressing in that moment—work, “life,” or my own self-care. Key to this curation is an absence of judgement or expectations FOR MYSELF. These are not behaviors that bring me Ease!

Expectations and self-criticism bring anxiety, overwhelm, and—ultimately—disappointment.

Instead, I choose to believe that I know, in each moment, where my focus needs to be. I trust my experience and intuition to guide me. In fact, my word of the year for 2017 was Wisdom for

Embrace the Blend Explore the work/life blend further by listening to Lee Lee’s Curiously You podcast interview at http://bit.ly/curiouslyleelee.

just that reason: I wanted to (and did) reconnect with my divine self-trust.

Of course, none of these ease-creating strategies are worth a damn unless I release the pressure to feel guilty. No matter how confident I am in my intentions, I must still overcome a lifetime of being conditioned and encouraged to negate that confidence with guilt.

A life-changing strategy for me this past year has been acknowledging guilt and figuring out the “why.“ For example, if I feel guilty about missing my son’s kindergarten Thanksgiving celebration (which I did!), then what does that say? Is it just societal pressure to be the perfect mom, or is the guilt telling me something?

In this case, the guilt reminded me how important my relationship with my kids is to me, and how I need to stay connected to my little guy, especially since this is his first year being gone every day. What the guilt did not tell me was to drop everything and attend the celebration. That would not have been the Ease-ful way out!

Once I know the reason for the guilt, then I can release it. Release = Ease. Next time, I may choose differently, depending on the circumstances. Or, I might once again feel guilt and remember how much I want to be there for

E M B R A C E W E A LT H WEALTH is a synonym for Abundance. To me, that means “feeling full in mind, body, and spirit.” For too much of my life, I felt a lack of critical life-giving things—relationships, a sense of purpose, and mental wellbeing. My default mindset is “I can survive with less.” To rewire my brain, I remind myself, daily, that I am worth more, that I will be happy with more.

The biggest challenge for me, when embracing abundance, is intimacy.

Over the past year, I have very consciously tended to relationships that make me feel loved and supported. Because I know that I’m safe in these relationships, the cultivation of intimacy is worth the risk of vulnerability.

my children. Work/life blend isn’t a one size fits every situation. We give and take, experiment and learn, acknowledge and release.

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If you’ve read even one issue of this magazine, you know how high we get when talking about self-care. As addictions go, I can’t recommend anything more so than paying attention to yourself—your needs, your desires, and your wellbeing. The best thing about self-care? It’s a practice that’s different for each of us.

My self-care over the past year has been about finding comfort in my natural state, giving in to my core desires. I wear comfy socks, read lots of books, and drink coffee all day long. I stay at home more than I go out. I take daily walks and recycle more than I use. I give to those around me, and to myself. As a result, I feel good, well, and whole.

UNLEASH FUN I tell you honestly that I didn’t really understand what “fun” was when I started this magazine. Fortunately, a part of my job is talking with other smart women, each of whom has taught me a little bit more about this elusive value. Today, I define FUN as “leaning in to playfulness, wit, and curiosity.”

I have never liked being told what to do (just ask my mom!) nor do I take to this idea of being dictated by time. Schedules, routines, structured working hours…none of that for me, thanks. The feeling of fun shows up not so much from resisting those “normalcies,” but when I relish in my innate, unpredictable self.

This occurs most often when I gift myself unstructured time.

Unstructured time—which, ironically, must be planned— provides a balance to all the requirements of real life. Even more fun is to pair the lack of structure with the absence of agenda. In other words, for that set amount of time, there are Another aspect of wealth is abundant creativity. Whether building a custom Lego creation with my children, trying out a new brewery with my husband, or dreaming up the next great TPY venture, I rely upon the knowledge that the more creativity I use up, the more I will have to use.

no rules and no goals.

To me, this is the height of freedom. And freedom is fun. In this space, I can reconnect to my childlike sense of wonder and reclaim my right to explore curiosities. I can give in to primal urges. Basically…we’re talking about cupcakes!! Lots and lots of

Because I’m more comfortable with creativity, it fosters

cupcakes. Baking, buying, eating them. Reading about them. It’s

intimacy, a feeling I’m still learning to love. As the editor of a

all 100% sheer delight.

collaborative magazine, I will never be “working alone.” At one time, that responsibility would’ve been a burden; however, I have come to see relationship-building as a blessing that provides multiple avenues for abundance.

A final aspect of wealth is my wellness- a word that truly encompasses the mind, body, and spirit. Where “good health” seems an inaccurate description for what I want to feel, wellness resonates on so many levels. And wealth in wellness is not possible without adequate self-care.

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

Though time spent with other women is a crucial facet of my job, I count being together with my friends, and attending gatherings of women, to be fun at its finest. I haven’t always felt this way—because: anxiety—but that history just makes my comfort with connection more special.

I use the principle of unstructured time to make even boring errands contain an element of fun. (Don’t go to the grocery store with my 5YO and me unless you have several hours free!!)

One of my favorite activities is to just drive and see where we end up. Walking with no agenda other than exploration is an eco-friendly alternative.

What I love most about connecting and exploration is that they fall perfectly in line with all the other feelings I want to have. When I reflect on those activities that feel the most fun in the moment—a day trip to nowhere, for example, or lunch with a friend—I can see how those moments also bring ease and fullness. (Cupcake pun intended.)

C E L E B R AT E J O Y Can you feel the crescendo? Since we curated these brand values in a deliberate, upward motion, I’m not at all surprised to be ending this reflection on a very high note! In fact, this writing in itself is an example of JOY, which I define as “pleasure that outlasts the actual moment.”

Let’s take a favorite activity as an example – shopping.

Spending money in the moment makes me very happy. But who hasn’t had the after-crash of an ill-timed trip to Target or T.J. Maxx? If I go shopping and spend money I didn’t intend to spend or buy items I didn’t intend to buy, I might come away “happy” but that trip will not have brought me joy.

The kind of shopping that brings me joy is when I’m spending money and time supporting other creative women. I can honestly say that I have never regretted purchasing from a small batch maker. In fact, I consider my decision to “shop small as often as I can” a crucial step in my leadership journey.

That’s the thing. When I feel joy, I’ve probably passed the feeling along to others as well. The magazine and my pursuit of passion in running it is proof enough of that. I know that every woman who has encountered our magazine has felt the good feelings of self-worth, community, and positivity.

No other pursuit could bring me this much joy.

Not all my joy, however, is outward-focused. One of the most intriguing aspects of the feeling of joy is its many facets. A very, very small task can bring long-lasting joy—seemingly mundane rituals like folding laundry or responding to email, for example. Why? Because the act itself is enjoyable to me, and the value associated with the act (organization, or clarity) are high on my list.

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“At The Perpetual You, we believe women can create lives of Ease, Wealth, Fun, and Joy just by being who they already are, who they’ve always been, who they’re meant to be.” That tagline is more than mere wordsmithing. We actually believe that these desired feelings can be a part of every woman’s life.

If there was anyone less likely to experience Ease, Wealth, Fun, and Joy on a daily basis than me about five years ago, I’d be surprised. After a lifetime of depression and anxiety-masked-asirritation, I was about as far from my true self / ideal life as one can be.

Running this magazine has been so rewarding because I, too, have benefited from the encouragement. My life has become the proof in the pudding, so to speak. Through positivity, self-care, connection, and mindfulness, I have become (and am becoming) the genuine Lee Lee. No matter your background, no matter your lifestyle—you can curate an intentional life. I don’t have faith that this is possible for you; I This is what we mean when we talk about simple joys. Right? Paying

believe this life already IS. The feelings await—

attention. Being present. Mindfulness in the mundane is the only way

ready to be chosen, embraced, unleashed, and

I could have learned to enjoy the duller moments of Motherhood—the

celebrated. The only question to answer is: are

incessant taking care of someone else’ needs; the repetition of daily activities; the observation required to keep everybody safe and happy.

Finding that if I just remained present, I could take delight in virtually any activity, situation, or outcome was like discovering a gold mine.

The notion is as simple as it is absurd, another conundrum that brings me joy. Throwing the world on its head—challenging what we’re supposed to be doing/feeling/thinking. Celebrating REAL LIFE in all its mixed-up-ed-ness. Oh, what joy.

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

you ready to get started?

Lee Lee Thompson is the Managing Editor + Creative Director of The Perpetual You. During the winter months, you’ll find her cozying up to a mug of coffee, a warm blanket, and a smattering of new ideas at her home in Hamden, CT. Photos by Joanna Fisher, @joanna_fisher

LIVE

REFLECTION

I SEE WHAT CHANGES WHAT I SEE CHANGES

H A I K U by Diane Lowman

About the Poet Diane is a yoga instructor, nutritional educator, Spanish tutor, and Shakespearean scholar-to-be.

She also writes haikus. lotus922.wordpress.com | @dilo922 The W EALTH ISSU E

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Happy New Year from all of us at

The Perpetual You

Thanks The Perpetual You

We are so blessed to have the following collaborators, stockists, advertising partners, and community friends who have encouraged us to pursue becoming a print publication. Without their support, our magazine would not be what it is today.

IN THIS ISSUE

Writers/Contributors

Advertising Partners

W H ERE T O B UY

Cindy • PK • Krystal • Cat • Marie • Julia • Crystal • Shana • Leigh • Cait • Allison • Amy • Donella • Lisa • Taylor • Heather • Erin • LaToya • Casee

TPY Marketplace, p. 0

SaltyGirl Boutique

OM Pajamas, p. 33 Davine Jewelry, p. 33

Photographers Joanna • Amanda • Lauren • Lindsay • Mary Elizabeth • Becca • Anaise • Giulianne • Willy

SaltyGirl Boutique, p. 33 TPY Marketplace, p. 58 Create Balance, p. 83

Designers/Illustrators Jamie

•

Jessie

•

Deborah

•

Amanda

Models/Makeup Lydia

•

Emma • Carolyn • Lola • Meghan Kirsten • Sarah • Heather

•

Kennbunk, Maine SaltyGirlBoutique.com

Lovet Shop

Milford, CT ShopLovet.com

Dwell

New Haven, CT DwellNewHaven.com

Finders Market

Sumner WA thefindersmarket.com Want to stock our magazine?

Visit bit.ly/TPYpartners.

Subscribe to our Magazine!

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© 2017 by The Perpetual You. No part of this magazine may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the Managing Editor/Publisher.

The Perpetual You is printed by DigiLink, Inc., 840 South Pickett Street, Alexandria VA 22304. Digilink-inc.com.

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@STEPHDALE27

@CAITSHERRICK

@RISEYOGACT

@CHERYSE_GREY_ROCK

@SBACHELDER

@HELIXIS7185

@GRAYKAMMERA

@THEFUNKYHIPPIE101

@KALIADA_

REFL ECT I V E S U RFA CES

As you welcome in 2018, embrace the reflections created around you on surfaces, windows, mirrors, and still waters. If you dare to look close enough, you can spot the abundance of growth: a mind full of experiences and a heart full of memories. Welcome the new year reflectively, and snap a photo to remember—and share—your observations.

T h e PE R PE T UAL YOU

J A N U A RY MA N T RA

M A N T R A by K R Y S T A L B R A N D T, P H O T O by @ A M A N D A L U I S A A R T

T his intention, this moment, this breath creates the woman I am becoming.

L E T T E R I N G by @ A L C H E M Y C A L L I G R A P H Y

Embrace Reflection