Fun through Femininity

The Fun Issue JUNE 2017 | Series No. 6, Issue No. 3

Unleash Femininity I N A L L I T S G L O RY

MO VE YOUR B O D Y • FI N D Y O UR FEMI N I N E • L O V E Y O UR S E LF

The PERPETUAL YOU

We believe in choosing, embracing, unleashing, and celebrating who you've always been – who you already are – who you want to be.

Be YOU...the Perpetual You.

The F UN I S S U E

|

3

LETTER from our EDI TOR

THE

THE OFFICE

The Perpetual You 101 Putnam Ave. Hamden, CT 06517

THE LIST

To receive each issue of the magazine directly to your inbox, join our mailing list at:

theperpetualyou.com/read.

T H E C O M MU N I T Y

Look for us on social media @theperpetualyou.

THE SOCIETY

Meet like-minded women in our private FB group, The Perpetual You Society.

THE S U B S C R I P T I O N

Sign up for our PRINT magazine, coming Aug 2017, at bit.ly/TPYandyou.

The PERPETUAL YOU

I

tend to resist labels. And by ‘resist,’ I mean behave however I want in pretense that expectations of others either don’t exist or are irrelevant. I learned in college, though, that knowing what you are not (which comes naturally to me) is useful when trying to figure out what you are.

All of which is only useful when you are searching for your tribe, a community, the place we feel at home.

Back in college, I also learned that I identified as a woman. I grew to love female authors and was fiercely loyal, for the first time in my adult life, to a select group of other women. None of us (the authors or the real women—myself included) were traditional; all of us, though, were feminine.

I’ve since found, again and again, that “feminine” is everything we think it is: an unknowable concept; an oppressive label; an empowering collective; a welcoming home. And, like many other multi-facetted aspects of life, being a woman has only the amount of importance I give to it.

Labels—like feminine or feminist—are most helpful when we recognize their power as much as we do their limitations. True power lies within the knowledge of what being feminine means to me, not in the arbitrary label or any given behavior prescribed to that label.

I could give a flip about whether I’m feminine or ladylike or, even if I’m a feminist; what I care about, above all else, is being myself. And…I care just as much about you being who you are.

Before we label each other, let’s just love each other as-is.

You don't have to be pretty. You don't owe prettiness to anyone... – ERIN MCKEAN

The F UN I S S U E

|

5

SHOP NOW

Shop the Marketplace The Perpetual You's curated marketplace of responsibly-made, small batch goods is online! theperpetualyou.com/the-marketplace

Intern with Us The Perpetual You is seeking a summer intern who has interest in publishing,

marketing, social media, and/or graphic design. Experience is helpful but more important is the alignment of your values with our professional atmosphere.

The PERPETUAL YOU

To find more at: http://bit.ly/TPYintern.

I N THI S I SSU E

Create Fun by Unleashing Femininity The F UN I S S U E

|

7

FIND US @TH E P E RP E TUALYOU

Realize Unbutton your confidence and let your energy loose; dig into something delicious— whether chocolate, poetry, or a weekend away. Wear something trendy; blush a little. Be your womanly self all day long.

13 41

Dwell Uncover the pretty things and display all of the sentimentals without sacrificing your individual style or compromising your need for balanced energy.

The PERPETUAL YOU

MO NTH LY MUSI C

Appreciate femininity? Listen to our "Women We Love" playlist.

Unleash Unleash your version of femininity; identify as the woman you are…

65

Live

because there’s no right or wrong when it comes to being a badass lady.

79

Unveil your authentic and whole self—body, mind, and soul. Listen to your core desires. Challenge yourself to be exactly who you are.

The F UN I S S U E

|

9

FIND US @TH E P E RP E TUALYOU

THE M A K ER S

Our makers consistently share their time & talents.

We'd love to introduce you to the lovely ladies who contributed to this month's issue.

Myranda Lee

Kay

Cover Photography

Dwell Feature Photographer

@myrandalee_photo facebook.com/myrandaleephotography

@walkerstudiosllc walkerstudiosllc.com

Myranda Roth is a portrait photographer with five years of professional experience and a lifetime of love for the art of photography. Native to the Central Valley of California and currently residing in the evergreen state of Washington, Myranda enjoys travel, eclectic cuisine, the great outdoors, quality family time, and chasing sunsets. This is Myranda's first collaboration with The Perptual You.

Kay has always loved stories. She has a keen eye for detail and the tone of her photography has a potent vibrancy that highlights the best parts of life: from a father/daughter dance to a quirky cocktail to a divinely decorated fireplace to the engaging smile of a child who is candidly and simply enjoying her day. Kay has been a TPY collaborating photographer since August of 2015.

The PERPETUAL YOU

P.K.

Lianne

Micayla

Proofreader

Editor

Book Editor

Connect on Facebook

@hilodaisy

@uggly_mugg zucchiniontheceiling.com

Amanda Luisa Nicastro

Lindsay

Krystal

Collaborating Photographer

Collaborating Photographer

Mantra Siren

@amandaluisaart amandaluisa.com

@lindsay_stanford lindsaystanford.com

@krystalbrandt krystalbrandt.com

Nadia

Ashley

Dana

Collaborating Artist

Collaborating Artist

Collaborating Artist

@nadiahorn NadiaHorn.com

@ashleybuntendesign AshleyBuntendesign.indiemade.com

@ArtyYotty DanaAyotte.com

The F UN I S S U E

|

11

FIND US @TH E P E RP E TUALYOU

THE TEA M

Lee Lee Creative Director & Managing Editor @leeleeinp

The Lee Lee is the #ladyboss of The Perpetual You. A writer by trade, designer by heart, and mother by choice, she seeks intentional practices and a positive mindset. If you’re near Hamden, CT, she welcomes you to stop by her front porch.

LEE LEE'S CURRENT TOP 3

Re-Read: Wuthering Heights Netflix Binge: Party of Five Indulgence: RosĂŠ

Kay

Jessie

Staff Photographer

Art Director

@walkerstudiosllc walkerstudiosllc.com

@littlelegendsdesign littlelegends.com

Kay Nass travels New England and beyond chasing sunsets, circling dance floors, capturing tears & laughter, all in the pursuit of preserving stories of love, friendship, and family.

Jessie Leiber is a multi-disciplinary designer striving to make her world more pixel-perfect.

When she's not poring over mockups, she can be found singing (loudly) in her car or compulsively buying striped shirts.

The PERPETUAL YOU

to align your daily practices with your ever-evolving desires

A R T W O R K by @ N A D I A H O R N

The PERPETUAL YOU

L I N O R E L I E F P R I N T B Y D A N A AY O T T E

THE LA DY

Simone de Beauvoir Born in 1908 in Paris, de Beauvoir wrote novels, essays, and biographies on philosophy, politics and social issues, and had a significant influence on feminist existentialism and theory. Her open relationship with philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre was staunchly non-traditional and non-“feminine.� For more fun, read her treatise, The Second Sex or her novel, She Came to Stay.

W O R D S by P. K . M C G I L L

The F UN IS S U E

|

15

Femininity is not about what you wear, what you say or what you do…It’s about who you are – CLAIRE BRUMMELL

The PERPETUAL YOU

REALIZE

UNLEASH

Individual Expression with Lydia Mandell Femininity is unique to every woman. We get to decide what that looks like, feels like, and means.

F

eminine is not a word I would have used to describe myself in the past. My ideas about what being feminine meant were a bit narrow and I certainly didn't fit into the mainstream view of femininity fed to me by the media. I also had the idea that being powerful and being feminine could not co-exist.

Then, I entered the world of burlesque. Less than a month shy of my 42nd birthday in 2011, I performed on the burlesque stage for the first time as my alter-ego Vanil LaFrappe. My beliefs about being feminine and standing in my power got a complete overhaul.

I struggled, initially, with the idea that I was MOVING onstage IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. As a kid, you could find me reading in a corner when other children were flexing their gross motor skills like nobody's business.

A tinge of that little girl remained, initially: Who was I to think I could just get up there and move AND take my clothes off? As I kept performing, I let go of that fear.

In the beginning of my burlesque career, I was preoccupied with my internal monologue telling me step by step how each move would go and wondering if the audience was with me. Did they get the message of my act? Was I the kind of person who could hold their attention? Was I womanly and feminine enough?

As time has moved on, I've realized that the joy and exuberance I bring to the stage is what matters most.

If I am having fun—and yeah, I'm having fun—that sense of fun will extend to the audience. Being backstage with women of all shapes, sizes, ages challenged my views about my femininity and sexiness. I became comfortable in my own skin and showing that skin to an audience.

Burlesque has given me a forum to have fun and challenge societal views of what is deemed feminine. continued on next page

The F UN IS S U E

|

17

Start Today Haven’t felt feminine in a while? It’s time to give yourself some love, care, and your fully devoted attention. Discover what you desire by exploring your longings. The following are some places you might find yourself, and suggestions as to what to do next.

1

I want to move my body in a different way.

Put on music you love and dance with yourself in front of the mirror; let go of judgment and inhibitions by using a mantra or positive statement such as, “I am graceful” or “I am sexy as hell.” Gather a group of your friends for a dance party with the goal being pure fun and sassiness.

2 I get to decide what femininity looks like every time I go onstage. Sometimes it's serious and sultry. Sometimes it is sad and vulnerable.

Sometimes it is funny as hell. Sometimes it's awkward. All expressions of true self and of my burlesque persona, Vanil.

Burlesque has also allowed me to collaborate and create with other women. My burlesque (and real-life) bestie Vivienne LaFlamme and I laughed our way through the creation of bathtub bubbly act to the tune of a disco version of the Sesame Street song, Rubber Duckie. The moves came to us easily and the act won us an award; this pure unadulterated fun still cracks us up every time we rehearse.

The greatest gifts that I have received from burlesque are the sheer fun and joy of expressing myself onstage and my connection to so many talented, hilarious, beautiful women. The fun of creating an act, from concept to completion is a thrill. To embody my ideas and present them to an audience is life-giving.

Burlesque has given that little girl in the corner a new life: opportunities to travel, to meet performers from all over the country, and to share my sense of fun and creativity. I even co-hosted the “Stripping Over 40” Caucus at BurlyCon last year. We were fun, fierce, feminine, and truly fabulous. And we still are.

The PERPETUAL YOU

I want to experiment with my beauty regiment.

Go ahead: try that red lipstick. Massage yourself with a new delicious smelling skin-nourishing oil. Take your time & savor the fragrance and the feel of the oil on your skin. If shopping is out of your comfort zone, take a friend to a local shop to try products or browse from the comfort of your own home.

3

I want to shake up my personal style.

Try on some new clothes. Give yourself the gift of a fashion exploration day by trying on new styles and rediscovering what looks and feels great on you.

Wear something that makes you feel fabulous in your own skin. Stand up straight, walk confidently, and own your sass and power.

4

I want to move past my comfort zone.

Think about scheduling a boudoir photoshoot with a female photographer you like and trust. This month, we’re offering a special behind the scenes look at boudoir photography, with sisters Kay & Amy of Walker Studios.

Lydia Mandell is a coach, breathworker, artist and performer who works with women seeking to overcome personal and creative blocks. When she is not in the healing realm, you may find her blogging at www.fearlessoverforty.com, on the burlesque stage, or taking a walk around her neighborhood in New Haven, CT. Photo on p. 17 by @bettina_may Photo on p. 18 by @kfpphotography

Follow our IG @theperpetualyou for a June books giveaway later in the month!

F O RAY S I N TO F EM I N I N I TY

Snapshots of a Daughter-in-Law

by Adrienne Rich, Pub. 1967 Exploring the definitions of femininity placed upon us is just as vital as understanding our individual definition. In this collection, Adrienne Rich explores the concept of belonging – belonging to other people, and belonging to your title (mom, daughter, wife). We all want to understand how our titles contribute to, but are very separate from, our true selves. Since the fun truly begins when we unleash our irrevocable feminine energy, Rich’s poetry starts the fire.

We Should All Be Feminists

Dietland

by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Pub. 2015

by Sarai Walker, Pub. 2015

What is a feminist? Who should call themselves a feminist? What does it mean to be a feminist in the 21st century? These are just some of the questions that are puzzled upon in Chimamanda’s essay. A branch-off of her widely successful TedX talk, this beautifully written piece explores the intersection of feminism and femininity in a funny, engaging, and inclusive way— empowering to anyone who happily infuse the feminist way-of-being into their lives.

This novel poses all the important questions about the mass media standard of beauty, while moving way beyond all superficial methods of achieving selfworth. In this delicious story, we follow the heroine, Plum Kettle, from wishing like crazy for gastric band surgery to embracing and feeling her own feminine energy, just as it stands. Anyone who has struggled against the tidal wave of low self-esteem will get back to smooth sailing with this fun and transformative read.

The F UN IS S U E

|

19

The PERPETUAL YOU

REALIZE

UNLEASH

Decadence with Rachel Haas

Gift yourself something sweet. Say yes to something decadent. Whether an afternoon pick-me-up or a latenight indulgence, a little bit of gooey can go a long way.

T

he weather’s turning warm, and thoughts of swimsuit season swirl in our heads.

With these thoughts comes the whispering stressors of springtime business booms, the repetitive exhaustion of our day to day duties, and the not-so-subtle pushes to look a certain way.

A glass of cold milk. Something gooey and decadent. Brownies are one of my favorite melt-in-the-mouth delights. Plain or mint; chocolate chips or nuts. Where indulgence is concerned, our individual tastes are as varied as our personalities.

Too often, we are encouraged to leave the tempting treats on the table in favor of a “healthy” snack of hummus…or maybe just another glass of water.

Prioritizing the sweet isn’t just an indulgence, though. Saying YES to decadence can be an act of self-care.

Will we deny ourselves until there is nothing left to give? Or will we gift ourselves a chance to listen to our intuition? After all, we know when it’s time to say “no” and when it’s time to say “yes.” We know when decadence is actually a necessity.

Feast on more of Rachel's food experiences at @rlhaaswriter or R-L-Haas-Writer.

The F UN IS S U E

|

21

The PERPETUAL YOU

REALIZE

Make this simple drink with just gin, grapefruit juice, and your favorite sweetener!

Blush Gimlet A blush gimlet adapts to the season or the mood of the mixologist just as every woman readily adapts to the situation at hand.

When was the last time you enjoyed a classic cocktail? Just walked into the bar and ordered something fun, flirty, and feminine? We’re not talking “girly” drinks with pink umbrellas— though those can be fun, too!—we mean classic fun: stylish & sophisticated, with a twist fun.

By themselves, the ingredients are strong, provocative. Mixed together, the grapefruit juice, gin, and splash of sweetener are divinely refreshing. Just the right amount of feminine. Just the right amount of fun.

Add rosemary or a sprig of mint, depending on your mood. Or let your bartender decide.

As long as the glass is pretty and the ice cubes plenty, the blush gimlet is going to make cocktail hour a whole lot more fun.

Photo by Life Unstill Photography.

The F UN IS S U E

|

23

The PERPETUAL YOU

REALIZE

UNLEASH

Energy with Julia Grimaldi

Each day that we choose to move, we strengthen our relationship with our body.

There’s more than one way to express our womanliness and “feel” feminine. Tap into your connection with yourself and others. Discover the endless possibilities of experiencing inspiration, beauty, and joy in your own skin. Use your own definitions, expectations, and emotions to settle on a movement activity that engages you and makes you feel feminine. At its core, movement IS femininity in action. Nothing is more beautiful than a woman in motion, expressing her authentic self, releasing and pulsating energy.

The F UN I S S U E

|

25

2

1

3

4

5

6

7

The PERPETUAL YOU

REALIZE

UNLEASH

Some Sass Who says Natural Beauty has to be boring?

This month’s collection of FUN + feminine products, curated by Salty Girl Boutique, an online business with a brick + mortar shop in Kennebunk, Maine (aka Vacationland), showcases the true Salty Girl style: clean beauty that's “down to earth with a side of sass.”

Sisters/Co-Owners Sarah & Leah believe every woman deserves to feel beautiful and feminine in her own way. Created from their desire to empower women to look and feel their best without compromising values or wellness, their boutique only carries natural, sustainable and organic products. We’re blessed to have these two sassy ladies as a part of this month’s issue!

Click on the title of each product to shop, or visit SaltyGirlBoutique.com to shop all the Salty Girl products.

1 | Body Cream

from Violets are Blue ($48)

2 | Tinted Nutrient Cream from Josh Rosebrook ($95)

3 | UltraShine Moisture Shampoo from Evolvh ( from $26)

4 | Lavender Baking Soda Free Deodorant from Meow Meow Tweet ($14)

5 | Rosehip Cleanser from Indie Lee ($32)

6 | Rose Blush + Blush Brush from Antonym ($36, $24)

7 | Compass Necklace

from Becoming Jewelry ($60)

The F UN IS S U E

|

27

Handmade modern heirlooms for your home

Modern art inspired jewelry for the mildly rebellious flow-goer

casaandcodesign.com

leocadiak.com

Soy Candles | Art | Home

Handmade Leather Travel Notebooks

raynehomedecor.com

redpentravelers.com

The PERPETUAL YOU

REALIZE

UNLEASH A

Girls Weekend with photographer

Mallika Malhotra

Fun is exploring new places and trying new things; visiting the popular landmarks or eating at the local hot spots. Fun is also relaxing and having downtime – drinking cocktails at the pool or people watching at the café. Throw in spa time like a massage or facial and some retail therapy, and I’m in vacation heaven!

The F UN I SS U E

|

29

A

bout 9 years ago, I lived in Gainesville, Florida.

My husband’s work brought us there and we didn’t know a soul. We had no friends or family or even ties to the state. Over time, we met incredible people who became our closest and dearest friends, proving you can make lasting friendships even as an adult.

We had talked for years about a girlfriend getaway but it was tough to plan with work, family, and other obligations. Finally, we made it happen and met in Orlando, FL (the most convenient location) for a long weekend in February. Orlando wasn’t the most exotic and glamourous hot spot, but we were thrilled just to be with each other and in the Florida sun.

In 2010, we moved once again; this time to New Jersey. I was heartbroken to separate from our Florida family, but we continued to visit each other, take trips with our families, and—on one special weekend—book a girls-only weekend.

Our girls weekend was a celebration of friendship and re-connecting. It’s rare to have the time to focus on each other so we listened, talked, and laughed for hours. The best part is that we could be ourselves with each other: no judgement, no criticism, no

The PERPETUAL YOU

expectations. Just love, respect and acceptance. That is the beauty of a strong, authentic friendship!

Moms often put everyone else first. We’re managing the kids, husband, career, clients, work, and home.

This trip was not only our way to celebrate our friendship but to also take a much-needed break for ourselves. To give ourselves time, space, self-care, laughter, and FUN! Not to mention uninterrupted conversation, meals eaten in peace, and lots of sleep.

friends who have a deep connection and respect for each other. I see women who put themselves first (for once) and look refreshed and rejuvenated! We look sun-kissed, relaxed, and connected.

Mallika Malhotra is a brand photographer and brand story strategist who inspires women entrepreneurs to express themselves, share their stories with confidence, and unleash their creativity. Based in northern NJ, Mallika also teaches live workshops on Instagram, vision boarding and photo styling.

Connect with her on Instagram at @mikifotoco.

When I look at these pictures, I don’t see Moms. I see strong, confident women who have a love for life. I see

The F UN I S S U E

|

31

REALIZE

Unleash Confidence with Leigh Schwab

Taking time to do something that boosts your confidence is an act of self-care.

D

o you keep indulgent practices to yourself because you’re embarrassed, or for fear of judgement? Though you’re not alone, I’m here to tell you that there’s no shame in doing the things that make you feel feminine.

For example, I want to feel good about my legs when the summer rolls around and I wear shorts, so I indulge in the art of self-tanning. Some people may think this is a waste of time or unnecessary, but it gives me a

The PERPETUAL YOU

little boost of confidence when I am rocking a tan rather than my usual pale, spider-veined legs.

If you like to spend time in the morning putting on makeup or you enjoy switching up your scent every other day, who cares! Perform the routines you enjoy because you enjoy them, because they make you feel like a woman. Intentional beauty is about making these choices and being confident with the results.

BeYOUtiful

1

Buy your favorite products and do what makes you feel beautiful. The following are my top 3 clean beauty picks in the product categories that make me feel the most feminine.

1

Flash that Fringe I never leave home without my mascara on, and I want the thickest volume I can get. Plume’s Lash and Brow Growth Serum has taken the market by storm, with ingredients like organic castor oil and watercress that help promote eye health and keratin production. It’s a clean alternative to prescription lash serums and—take it from a fellow mascara lover—IT WORKS! Leigh recommends Plume’s Lash and Brow Growth Serum

2

2

Go for the Bronze I told you that I love self-tanner! Over the years, I have realized that I what I thought was a “safe” tan was full of toxic ingredients. Now I look for self-tanners that use DHA (the ingredient that gives you a tan) derived from sugar beets instead. You get the same amount of color without any of the potentially negative affects.

Leigh recommends Chocolate Sun Botanical Sunless Tanning

3

Be Fragrant One of the most toxic products out there is fragrance.

Sure, we all want to smell good—but at the risk of poisoning ourselves? No thanks. Fortunately, allnatural perfume oils can be just as intoxicating without being dangerous to ourselves or overwhelming to those around us. I like Lurk because the bottle lasts a long time and is small enough for me to carry in my bag so I can refresh throughout the day.

3

Leigh recommends Lurk Perfume Oil

Leigh Schwab uses her love for skin care to help educate women about the ingredients in their products and the need for proper skin care legislation in our country. Learn more about her passion for a healthy and simple life on Facebook and Instagram @leighschwab.

Photo on p. 32 by @becca_olcott

The F UN I SS U E

|

33

REALIZE

June Self-Care Toolkit

UNLEASH THE

Real YOU with Ashley Dees

The PERPETUAL YOU

Aloe Vera

Cedarwood Garnet Bast

You define your life, your relationships, your home, your job, your style. Your choices are what make you unique. When we take the time to accept and share our unique selves, confidence overflows. We inspire others, shine brighter, and have more fun. Let this month’s toolkit support your self-expression.

HERB

ESSE NTIAL OIL

CRYS TAL

GOD D E SS

Aloe Vera

Cedarwood

Garnet

Bast

BENEFITS

BE NEFITS

BENEFIT S

BENE F I TS

Cools, calms, and soothes.

Imparts strength, independence, and wisdom

Supports independence + nourishes confidence

Reminds us to be authentic

I

f the sun is what you crave, keep cool and avoid sunburn with summer’s best friend, Aloe Vera. You can grow aloe in your garden or purchase pure aloe gel; be sure to read the label that you’re getting 100% aloe. Aloe soothes skin conditions such as burns and just generally has a cooling, calming effect on skin.

Cedarwood essential oil can give you confidence, assist you during difficult times, and help ground you.

As a tall mighty tree, Cedarwood imparts strength, independence and wisdom. Use this oil in a perfume when you need to connect to your intuition and your true self, or when you need help with coughs and respiratory issues.

To increase your feminine energy, choose Garnet. This stone is rich in iron, deeply nourishing, and full of juicy, life-giving, raw energy. Garnet nourishes your feminine self and confidence, and increases your sexual energy, thus supporting your independence as a woman.

Wear garnet, sleep with garnet, meditate with garnet, bath with garget, drink garnet elixirs.

Bast, the cat-like Egyptian goddess, embodies the feline energies of being graceful, independent, playful, and intuitive. She reminds us “independence is a foundation of your strength and success.” Tap into yourself and take action to be the most authentic version of you.

Getting to this place will feel like home, and will inspire others to do the same.

Dance for yourself, wear your favorite outfit, and release any judgments you may have that your path is different from everyone else’s. Defining life, choosing the path we will go down, can be invigorating. Being your true authentic self, whatever that may be, is as sexy, independent, and fun as it gets.

Learn more about Ashley, and how she teaches and gathers goddesses together at Green Harmony Aromatherapy.

Photo of Garnet by @Kaliada The F UN IS S U E

|

35

REALIZE

Unleash a Trend with Cait Sherrick

Get back to feeling feminine.

M

aybe you’ve been through something traumatic recently, maybe you had to tuck part of yourself away so you could be a “better” wife, maybe you’re covered in spit-up and pureed green peas. You're feeling it all, wondering how any human can even contain that many different emotions at once. You’re feeling pretty much everything except feminine.

You grasp at anything to feel more like a woman, more like a human: that soy latte, some pink peonies, even a lacey bralette. And that’s ok. Buying into a trend to feel a little more feminine is okay. You’re not drinking 3 soy

The PERPETUAL YOU

lattes a day, buying out the entire flower section, and wearing a bralette every day. Right?

Or maybe you are. However you get back to feeling feminine is completely up to you.

Sometimes life can feel like it stripped you of everything you know about yourself, and if all it takes is one lacey something to bring you back to your whole, feminine self, then buy the damn bra. In the meantime, just know that feeling all of those emotions at once is what femininity is all about. No matter what, you’re always feminine.

Choose a Lacey Bralette Both sexy and modest, a lacey bralette is a fun way to bring more femininity intro your wardrobe. Layer it underneath just about anything; you get to choose how much skin you show. I can't think of anything more empowering than that.

1

Show a Little Shoulder Wear your bralette under an off-the shoulder. Pair it with some boyfriend jeans, gladiator sandals and a long necklace for a simple, sexy every day outfit.

Pictured: bralette, off-the-shoulder shirt, boyfriend jeans, sandals, Leocadia K. Big Mala Necklace

2

1 2

Bring on the Sun Layer an over-sized muscle t-shirt over your bralette.

Throw on some flip flops, a pair of cut off shorts and some bracelets for a comfortable and covered warm weather look.

Pictured: bralette, muscle tee, shorts, flip flops, Leocadia K. Bracelets

3

Style the Girls Pair your bralette with a button down shirt, leaving an extra button undone. Grab your favorite pair of fitted jeans, throw on some wedges and don a statement necklace for a sexy, unexpected take on an otherwise very casual outfit.

Pictured: bralette, button down, jeans, wedges, Leocadia K. Turquoise Fringe Necklace

3

Cait Sherrick is a jewelry designer + stylist for mildly rebellious flow-goers at Leocadia K. She’s deeply inspired by modern art, has a boho heart + loves the warm, unconditional love of a good cup of chai tea. Join her on Instagram @caitsherrick for daily inspiration + visit her shop for more every day outfit ideas.

The F UN IS S U E

|

37

P E R S P ECTI VES from THE PA N EL

What makes you feel "feminine"?

Kaliada Designer/Co-Founder Kaliada @kaliada_ kaliada.com

The PERPETUAL YOU

After battling my illness, I realized that womanhood goes beyond our outward appearance. It is truly how we feel and act inwardly that determines our womanhood. I will always feel feminine as long as I feel good with myself; loving and taking care of myself; loving, empowering and, inspiring others. Confidence and love is what makes a woman look beautiful, and what makes me feel feminine.

Tessa Homesteader/ Life Coach/Farmstay Hostess The Chittle Homestead @tessachittle TheChittleHomestead.com

Cate Creative Director Cordella Magazine @cateclother Cordella.org

Dani Founder Core Chakra @core_chakra CoreChakra.com

Cat Owner AmLo Farms @catballou24 AmLofarms.com

When I think of femininity I think of mother earth and her profound creative power. I feel the most feminine when I am creating...a garden, a craft, a tiny house, a meal, a business idea, or a fresh picked bouquet of flowers for the table.

Hanging up sheets to dry on the line outside, on a sunny day; collecting bright yellow forsythia to bring inside and enliven my home with spring; reading poetry by a crackling fire in midwinter; knitting; kissing my babies to sleep; walking through the woods with a good friend; kissing my husband. Femininity has nothing to do with how I look on the outside, but with an inner feeling of peace, connection with nature, openness to the world around me, and compassion for others.

Taking a bath makes me feel feminine. I go out of my way to adorn my bath with flowers, essential oils and candles.

When I soak in the tub I'm able to indulge in all my senses and appreciate my curves against the candlelight.

I love dresses and skirts. I didn't always like my body, so I covered up a lot; but as I have grown older, I have learned to be at peace with my curves. Wearing a comfortable dress or skirt makes me feel like a girl. I am not fancy, more eclectic than anything. Sometimes I want flats with my skirts, sometimes my big Dic Marten boots. Never heels however, I do not like heels!

The F UN I SS U E

|

39

You can start late, look different, be uncertain and still succeed. – M I STY CO PEL AN D

The PERPETUAL YOU

to align your physical space with your ever-evolving self

The F UN IS S U E

|

41

A R T W O R K by @ N A D I A H O R N

The PERPETUAL YOU

/ ring 'dish / noun​ One method (among many) for stashing adornments

The F UN I S S U E

|

43

P H O T O / R I N G D I S H by @ A V E R I V E R A S T U D I O

ring dish

The PERPETUAL YOU

DW E L L

An Attractive Display Gone are the days of jewelry boxes with locked lids. The modern woman displays her adornments proudly, beautifully.

A

collection of statement necklaces from your favorite small batch makers; beads from your travels abroad; vintage cameos found at a local thrift store; your grandmother’s pearls passed down through the women you love‌ When your jewelry collection has been curated especially for your own tastes, with an eye to the past and an appreciation for modern handicraft, you get as much pleasure from looking over the pieces as you do by wearing them.

Adornments, after all, can hang anywhere and be beautiful: an empty frame, a tree branch, a towel bar, ceramic or industrial hooks. No matter the method, whatever the aesthetic, finding a way to display your treasures (when not being worn, of course!) is a declaration of attraction.

Be good to your jewelry. Be fond of your space.

Display the pieces you love.

Photo by @kfpphotography

The F UN I S S U E

|

45

The PERPETUAL YOU

DW E L L

Beautiful + Useful THE FUN OF DESIGNING A BALANCED ROOM Mudrooms are a place where function rules. Does that mean they can’t (or shouldn’t be) beautiful too?.

W

hen we bought our house, I didn’t think much about the mudroom, other than the fact that it was tiny and basically useless.

The previous owners had installed extremely narrow shelving, which was useless for any of the functions a traditional mudroom plays.

When I planned the design for this room, function was the obvious priority. Why redesign the room if we weren’t going to make it more useful? My natural design tendency, though, is to think first about what I want the room to look like, and later about how it will function.

It only took a few months living in our house for the back door to become our “main” door, for many reasons, not the least of which is that we park our car nearer to the back yard than the front. In this scenario, it also became painfully clear that our mudroom was more than just annoying—it was woefully inadequate.

I blended masculine and feminine energy in this space mostly by ensuring that the features of the room were as attractive as the functional elements were, well, functional. For example, we installed a cedar bench—the color of which reminds me of sweet caramel. The seat is useful—mostly because it acts as another surface to throw stuff on; but it’s pretty too!

To be fair, the space is small. Tiny. Miniscule, really.

To make matters worse, the door opens in, making it practically impossible for more than one person to be in the space at a time. Still, I was convinced function could be found with a minor remodel.

In fact, my favorite projects in the room are both beautiful and useful—the industrial hooks on

continued on next page

The F UN IS S U E

|

47

weathered slabs of wood; the storage cubes with flirty details; the antique keys hanging alongside the ones we use every day.

There’s also an element of thrift in the room, which I find to be downright sexy as well as an homage to the longstanding female tradition of making good use of whatever it is we have available. I love the honeycolored shutters, which were found and cut down to just the right size, and the collage of beloved items we displayed on the side of the shoe cubbies, items that only mean something to us.

This room radiates warmth, quite a feat when you consider that for much of the year, you're only one door away from a blast of cold air. In addition to the infusion of found objects, this warmth comes from the courageous mix of wood tones—from the aforementioned shutters and cedar bench, to the cork tiled floor, right down to the little feet on the reused wooden crates.

Designing our house began as an aesthetical experiment. Without knowing whether any of my design theories were true, I set out to make our house one that met all of our basic needs AND was beautiful and inviting to guests, with rooms that satiated my core desire to be surrounded by inspiring objects AND spoke to our ongoing commitment to live creatively. I wanted to get lost in the decorating of my house without losing myself or any of my ideals.

I got off to a good start, too—even though other things have shifted my attention as of late. In that way, this mudroom, however small and insignificant it might seem, is both a fixture of accomplishment and a daily reminder that—whenever I’m ready to decorate some more—my intentions will be achievable. Beauty and function can coexist in every corner of our house, no matter how small.

Lee Lee is a mother of two boys who love pink. To date, she’s intentionally decorated half the rooms in her house with equality and creativity in mind. Follow her motherhood journey on Instagram at @leeleeinp.

The PERPETUAL YOU

Dwell on This Balanced rooms include elements of both feminine & masculine energy. Depending on how feminine you want to feel while you’re in the space, you can play with the ratio. More feminine elements = greater feeling of femininity. The following are some aspects which you can adjust in any space.

1

Color Code Femininity doesn’t have to be pale or pastel.

In this industrial (and small) space, I found the golden hue of this yellow paint to add just the right amount of nurturing, loving color. As is typical with many feminine traits, the color serves as the supporting feature without retreating into the background too much.

2

Beauty Principles How do we know if a space is beautiful? Simple, we walk in and love it. We want to spend time there, even if it’s a mudroom. In this space, having function galore—hooks, cubbies, storage above & below—was my way to make it a pleasant place that, instead of overlooking, I like to linger in.

3

Accessory Rules What makes each of us feel “feminine” is, undoubtedly, different. Being surrounded by the things we love, though, brings on a universal feeling of happiness. My favorite accessories are clocks and mirrors, so I made sure to include one of each in this space.

Does your home bear the marks of intentional design?

We’d love to feature you! Send us an email: hello@theperpetualyou.com

The F UN I S S U E

|

49

A Room of Her Own

Words by Lee Lee Thompson Photos by Kay Nass The PERPETUAL YOU

The F UN IS S U E

|

51

DW E L L

From a design standpoint, becoming a woman means designing a space of your own.

M

y mother always encouraged us to design our own bedrooms. I remember, at a very young age, selecting the white daybed and pastel comforter I would have well through my teenage years and, later, when I moved back home after a failed stint at collage away, choosing a classic Winnie-the-Pooh motif for my “grown up� bedroom. (Clearly, I wasn't quite ready to grow up!)

continued on next page

The PERPETUAL YOU

Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want, and just see what happens. – CARRIE BRADSHAW

The F UN IS S U E

|

53

These childhood experiences, however fun, were nowhere near as liberating as designing my own Brad-Pitt-themed dorm room or getting my first apartment and deciding that—yes—an unbearably heavy green velvet sleeper sofa was exactly the piece for me. Freedom doesn’t truly come until you’ve been given full control; or, as was the case with me, you demand control; give it back for a while; and then find it once again.

Perhaps that’s what makes the bedroom you see on these pages truly unique. The owner, a 15-year-old sophomore girl (and my niece) was given, as much as is parent-ly possible full license to design a room of her own. Sure, there was a budget to stick to and the usual

The PERPETUAL YOU

restrictions of size of the room and necessary activities that must take place there; but, design-wise, Emma was given the responsibility to figure out what she wanted and the right to make it happen. Every woman’s design dream. Right?

Admittedly, Emma is a very mature teenage girl. Raised in an environment where all things femininity have been debated and discussed honestly from the get-go, I imagine that she knows herself pretty darn well. At the least, she knows who she is in the moment, which is more than some of us can say on any given day.

continued on next page

The F UN I S S U E

|

55

In fact, over the course of the past year, as I watched her grow from middle-schooler who dreamed of a bedroom with all black walls, to high-schooler with the curves, clothes, and multicolored hair high school girls acquire, Emma has come into her own as much as anyone I have known. Will she continue to transform? Of course. But I have the feeling her confidence and wit will stay with her no matter what else changes.

Her bedroom, then, is an authentic snapshot of the exact woman Emma is in this moment: the rainbow of colors speaks to her sense of fun and tendency to hope for the best; the contrast of black-and-white represent her confident ease at voicing her opinions, most of which are well-researched; the collection of “geeky� toys and figurines depict her current interests and favorite pastimes; the abundance of fabric scraps and her overstuffed wardrobe reveal her ability to thrive among chaos.

The PERPETUAL YOU

Of course, this is what I see when I look at her room, and—no matter how intimate we are—I’m still not qualified to speak for Emma. For this reason, I sent her questions about the design of her fun + feminine bedroom, in hopes she’d fill me in on how the room’s design came to be and how it makes her feel. I’d hoped that, since the bedroom had turned out as such a perfect depiction of her personality, that she’d write that in her questionnaire.

Refreshingly to the point, her answers didn’t meet my expectations, nor enlighten me in the way I’d hoped. They didn’t reveal much more than I’d already suspected, in fact, and what they did reveal has more to do with Emma’s age

continued on next page

The F UN IS S U E

|

57

The PERPETUAL YOU

and interests than her bedroom at all! Yes, she chose these colors because they’re fun and happy. Yes, she chose furniture that allows her to multi-task because the room is only so big and it’s the only one she’s got, after all. And yes, she enjoys hosting friends and hanging out in her room as much as she does retreating there for privacy.

Random Acts of Fun

None of these will come as a surprise to anyone who has ever been or been around a 15-year-old girl, I suppose. And yet, I found her answers to be exactly what they should’ve been. Refreshing. Simple.

Unassuming. Naïve.

I find Emma’s “lack” of insight to be both age-appropriate and a lesson in and of itself.

She’s reminded me that there’s a certain lack of awareness that’s actually healthy— necessary, even—to survive growing up. Hell, if I had sat around in my Winnie-the-Pooh bedroom as a not-yet-woman, I might have seriously second-guessed what I was, and was becoming.

As someone who has quite recently come to discover the infinite power in conscious decisions and intentional living, not to mention intentional housekeeping, no one can be more shocked than I that I’m so appreciative of a Dwell feature article with no agenda other than to showcase a really fun room. Isn’t that exactly against our entire magazine’s philosophy that knowing how you want to feel and what makes you feel that way will help you to design a space that brings you such feelings?

Maybe, but our magazine is for women coming into their own—not girls who are becoming women.

continued on next page

Let’s assume, for a moment, that you’re not a teenage girl. And let’s also assume that you want to have fun on occasion. You have the opportunity, then, to create an environment that allows for fun without compromising any of your other values. Sounds…fun! Right?

1

Color Your Mood.

Forget the color of the year or any other trends that make you feel obligated. Just ask yourself what colors say fun to you. My mom’s kitchen is yellow & red; mine is hot pink, blue, and yellow. My sister’s has vintage curtains with every color under the rainbow on them. If you asked any one of us if our kitchen is fun, guess what we’d say? (Yes!)

2

Speak Your Mind One trend we can’t get enough of is words on accessories. Everything from a coffee mug to a pillow to your favorite journal can have a literary reminder of how you want to feel. There’s also the option of stowing chunky letters on a shelf or hanging a sign above the doorway. And if you’re really committed to the phrase, feel free to order a hand-lettered vinyl sticker to hang on the wall!

3

Display Your $hit Thank goodness the days of kitsch behind glass doors is over! #Amiright? As kids, we displayed everything— from handmade projects to collections of miniature goodies. We kept it at the ready because it made us happy, and there’s no reason that practice has to change. To keep from getting too cluttered or stale, group like items and switch out decorative trinkets by season.

The F UN I S S U E

|

59

Frankly, my appreciation exists because youth is precious. There will be years for Emma to overanalyze the design process; years for her to find her own aesthetic, or to discover her aesthetic was there all along; a lifetime in which she can play different design scenarios through (or on her Pinterest boards) and negotiate her design needs with the rest of her co-inhabitants.

For now, I propose, it is enough to have chosen elements that are right for the right now, and not to have bothered with a 15-page design plan. It's enough to have a fabulous room to live in, and ask questions about (or retroactively idealize) it

The PERPETUAL YOU

later. And enough to be who you are while you’re becoming who you’re meant to be, and to design a space you love just because you love it, without knowing all the reasons why.

Lee Lee Thompson is the aunt of an amazing, smart, and not-too-self-centered teenage niece. She hopes both her boys will live life to its fullest and love an array of colors, just as their favorite cousin, Emma, does.

Photos by Kay Nass of @walkerstudiosllc Illustration by @sprinklesofcolor

Afterparty corresponds to Benjamin Moore 2119-10

Boldly Go corresponds to Benjamin Moore 2077-20

Neon Vibes Only corresponds to Benjamin Moore 2026-10

TEEN SPI R I T

Limitless Fun corresponds to Benjamin Moore 2060-40

Bright colors are perfectly manageable when balanced with plenty of neutrals—either black or white, or both (as shown in our Dwell feature this month!). Whether a rainbow of color splashed onto textiles or a nod to neon on key pieces, such as an office chair or favorite pillow, fun is easy to be found when your color expectations expand.

Fun ways to infuse the spirited colors of young femininity:

Wake Up! corresponds to Benjamin Moore 2016-10

Modern Vibe

Eclectic Aesthetic

Go for gloss and shine wherever you can—from furniture surfaces to a sprinkle of fairy lights across the bed.

Mirrors balance out bright colors and keep the room feeling spacious (not to mention give plenty of opportunity for you teen to see how great she looks!).

Buy easily replaceable pieces—such as throw pillows and thrifted art—in your teen’s favorite colors and keep the background mostly neutral. When she changes her mind—and she WILL change her mind!—just pass along the accessories to a friend, younger sibling, or neighborhood fan.

The F UN IS S U E

|

61

1 3

2

The PERPETUAL YOU

DW E L L

Product Placement If you’re a shop owner or small batch maker who would like to be featured in one of our issues, fill out our product collab form.

Shop the Look Products Inspired by this month’s featured space

Relax, you’ve got this covered. You know what you need: a mix of fun accessories, feminine energy, and fierce dedication to completing the tasks that inspire you today.

Click on the “shop now” link to see similar products.

1 | Wood Grain Essential Oil Diffuser via Google (from $9.99)

2 | White Study Desk

from IKEA (from $49.99)

3 | Neon Green Office Chair from Wayfair (from $45.99)

The F UN I SS U E

|

63

Imperfection is beauty. – MAR I LY N MO N R O E

The PERPETUAL YOU

to align your life story with your ever-evolving sense of self

The F UN I S S U E

|

65

A R T W O R K by @ N A D I A H O R N

The PERPETUAL YOU

Take 5 Q + A WITH FIVE MODERN, FEMININE WOMEN

This month’s cover story is a first for us—instead of highlighting one woman whose life fits our theme, we’ve interviewed five different women who we admire for their positivity and promotion of women’s lives.

By doing so, we provide to you a broad discussion on a subject that is as deep and complicated as the world is vast: Femininity. The women we’re showcasing have varied personalities and offer just as many perspectives on what it means to be “feminine.”

The power of this feature is only emboldened when we realize that these amazing women—so different and so inspiring—barely scratch the surface of femininity, a glorious topic indeed.

Perhaps we have not unleashed femininity itself, but the dialogue on the following pages gets us off to a damn good start.

Illustration on p. 78 by @sprinklesofcolor

The F UN IS S U E

|

67

The PERPETUAL YOU

Nancy Shaver 7 0 / M AY O R / S T. A U G U S T I N E F L O R I D A

In what ways are you most feminine? I like putting myself together—from hair to makeup to clothes. And I like to make a space sing; sometimes I think I should have been an interior designer. I like to arrange flowers.

Send me a formal vase of flowers—and I immediately take it apart and turn it into 2 or 3 or 4 arrangements. I don't know if this is feminine, or just my love of style.

What does femininity mean to you (if anything)? I don’t have a lot of positive associations with the word. "The Feminine," on the other hand, means stamina, wisdom, warmth, caring.

What woman inspires you most? My daughter because of her level strength, wisdom, generosity and the way she has gracefully overcome adversity.

How did you have fun as a little girl? I was a tomboy, and I liked playing board games, and reading. And I was always roughhousing with my brothers.

How do you have fun now? I have fun no matter what I do—but dancing (mostly solo—it’s hard to find partners who can keep up) and listening to local live music is at the top of my list. Kayaking is up there too.

If you could meet any woman in the world for lunch, who would it be, and why? Pema Chodron. I have an intense curiosity about people who choose a spiritual life. How did they come to their choice? What gives them satisfaction? And how do they lose themselves in service to others?

When have you depended on another woman to help you? Throughout interesting and challenging relationships with men, my best friends have always been my sanity checks and comfort.

What’s one thing about you people would be surprised to learn? That I spent two spectacular days at Skip Barbour’s Driving School at Sebring—two of the best days of my life—ending up in a Dodge Viper, the only car that had ever scared me.

In what way(s) do you help to make the lives of women better? I have been a positive role model and mentor for women—but, all lives matter. My focus has been on helping those who struggle in this world –our homeless neighbors. I try to put a face on the homeless that helps people understand that homelessness isn’t a choice. Taking care of the planet by working to advance understanding of and planning for sea level rise for our City is another priority.

What lasting piece of advice has your mom given to you? “When you are dressed to go out for the evening, take off one piece of jewelry, or accessory you are wearing.”

How is your dwelling space fun or feminine? My space is filled with visual surprises: A metal fish hanging from the fan pull; deer antlers on a window sill; and art everywhere. It is eclectic—my great aunt’s delicate settee, for example, painted gold and upholstered in a black geometric print, shares a space with a leopard print oversized chair.

How are fun and femininity connected for you? The fun in being feminine comes down to the way makeup and clothing allow me to be a chameleon—sliding into different personas—from glam to earnest to sporty.

There’s so much fun to be had in the world—this is just a small piece of what I would call fun.

Describe yourself in 3 words or less.

Fearless, intuitive, empathetic

The F UN I S S U E

|

69

The PERPETUAL YOU

Tiffany Clarke Harrison 3 7 / F R E E L A N C E C O N T E N T S T R AT E G I S T + W R I T E R / C H A R L O T T E , N C

In what ways are you most feminine? What does femininity mean to you (if anything)? Acknowledging who I am at my core and being that person. Knowing my worth and voicing my desires. Sleeping with my foot draped over my husband's leg. Catching the lizard that accidentally crept in through the front door. Dancing in my underwear to The Jackson 5 in the kitchen.

What woman inspires you most? My mother is a woman who believes in living, not sitting idly while experiences pass her by. A few years ago, she took a job in Bahrain simply because she loves to travel and it was time for a change. Now, she and my father live in Italy because, why not? Her life says: the world is too exciting, too wonderful to miss.

How did you have fun as a little girl? Playing with my younger brothers are the most vivid moments of myself as a child. We built forts from sheets in my bedroom, played house and tag. We slid down the grassy hill by our house in Panama, until we bumped and rolled, laughing and staining our clothes.

How do you have fun now? I adore words, the imagery they create and the worlds they can expose you to.

When I read a beautiful sentence, sometimes I literally hold my breath. Some of my favorite lines are from the opening of Lolita. "Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta." You don't just read those lines, you feel them on your skin.

If you could meet any woman in the world for lunch, who would it be, and why? My cousin who died from leukemia when she was 19. She was funny and opinionated, and I loved being with her.

and out of nowhere I hugged my good friend/coworker in the elevator as we went to get lunch. It was unexpected, but at that moment I really needed to hug someone who understood me.

What’s one thing about you people would be surprised to learn? I used to watch The Jersey Shore every Thursday night when it was on MTV. At the time, both my husband and I were in grad school and our children were babies. Life was exhausting. Thursday night was my last class of the week and I would get home eager for the most mindless thing possible.

In what way(s) do you help to make the lives of women better? I believe everyone was designed to create, live free, and live well. I think a lot of women settle for mediocrity, especially when it comes to their work.

I started freelancing again to help women business owners of creative and wellness brands be their best selves online with content that takes the pushy feeling out of marketing and selling. I want women who rely on their creativity or serving others as a means of income get the attention they deserve.

What lasting piece of advice has your mom given to you? Trust in the Lord.

What advice you would you give to your teenage self?

Your worth is not connected to other people's ability to see it. Also, stop doing your bangs like that.

For you, what is the connection between Fun and Femininity? Not wearing bottoms. Life is more fun in your underwear.

Describe yourself in 3 words or less.

Funny, sensitive, introverted.

When have you depended on another woman to help you? I'm not particularly affectionate. A couple months ago I was going through a particularly stressful time The F UN IS S U E

|

71

The PERPETUAL YOU

Emma Michal 15 / HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT / HAMDEN, CT

In what ways are you most feminine? I feel feminine in my heeled boots, big skirts, bright tanks, makeup, or even just when I fix my hair in a mirror. Not to mention when I find myself attracted to someone.

What does femininity mean to you (if anything)?

Traditional definitions of femininity feel vague but getting any more specific is hard. In a way, femininity is nothing more than a feeling of, “Hey, I’m a woman. Cool.”

How did you have fun as a little girl? As an only child, I entertained myself most of the time. I remember having tons of ‘girlish’ toys—dollhouses, dolls, poofy dress-up items, and a whole lot of pink. I also remember using those dolls to tell action, drama, and mystery stories.

I jumped around furniture like a spy, hiding just about anywhere just to jump out, and pretending my huge pink foam chair was a pirate ship. I wore shorts under my dresses to school so I could hang upside down and my number one day dream was to have superpowers. At the same time, I enjoyed spinning in the dresses, I liked tea parties, and I asked Santa for makeup one year.

How do you have fun now? I enjoy TV shows such as Doctor Who, Sherlock, Criminal Minds, or The Magicians. I read webcomics and actual comics, watch anime and read manga, and do other things generally labeled as geeky. I Cosplay and go to Conventions to hang out with fellow fandom goers. I still get a burst of joy from hair, skirts, and parties, but now that means short dyed hair, big velvet skirts with dorky sneakers, and a few friends laughing about fictional characters in someone’s room.

When have you depended on another woman to help you? I was raised by a single mother my whole life and her surrounding community of friends and family.

Despite this network, I’ve always been rather independent.

What’s one thing about you people would be surprised to learn? Next school year, my sophomore year of high school, I will enter my thirteenth school—counting preschool.

In what way(s) do you help to make the lives of women better? I help those close to me in small ways.

What lasting piece of advice has your mom given to you? My mother has given me plenty of advice.

Some pieces, like “beauty is pain,” I ignored out of stubbornness yet still found my own path. Others, like not needing a man, I clung more strongly to, letting them leak into other areas of my life. One that always stayed with me was that you can count on family— family is more than blood, it’s who raised you and who supports you.

Is there anything about your dwelling space that is particularly fun or feminine? I consider my whole room to be fun—that was the main point after all—but also feminine in its own way: from the stuffed animal corner to the rainbow décor to the unicorn painting hanging over my sewing corner.

For you, what is the connection between Fun and Femininity? Fun comes first; with so little time to do things we have to pick the things that bring us joy!

Femininity is a part of me, as a girl, that exists in all I do—not because everything I do is ‘girly’ but because I am always a girl while doing it.

Describe yourself in 3 words or less.

Marvelous. Humorous. Geeky.

The F UN I S S U E

|

73

The PERPETUAL YOU

Ana Rojas 3 4 / B O D Y P O S I T I V E A D V O C AT E / S P R I N G , T X

In what ways are you most feminine? I feel the most feminine when I feel the most free to be myself. I can appreciate the fact that I enjoy getting rough and dirty one minute and then getting dressed up for no reason.

We’ve been bombarded with this idea that we have to be ONE specific type of woman but the truth is that we can decide any time how we will dress and act.

In what way(s) do you help to make the lives of women better? By sharing my journey in the most authentic way. I didn’t set out to be a body positive advocate; I actually wasn’t even aware of the body positive movement. I just wanted to share the perspective that helped me, which has turned out to be so much bigger than myself.

What does femininity mean to you (if anything)?

I define femininity as being as close to my genuine self as possible.

What lasting piece of advice has your mom given to you? Do or do not; there is no try. While I realize now that this is actually a quote from Star Wars, my mom used to tell me this all the time (sans Yoda reference).

She encouraged my sister and I to think, constantly and with awareness. She encouraged me to visualize my goals and dreams so that I’d be empowered to pursue them without excuses.

What woman inspires you most? She’s not quite a woman, but—my daughter. She is a constant reminder to be aware and mindful of what I fill my time and energy with. To help her be herself, I have had to force myself to do the same.

How did you have fun as a little girl? I climbed and explored everything! I don’t ever recall being still and am thankful that whenever I wanted to try out something new that I’d be encouraged to try even if it ended with me in a cast. (Twice.)

How do you have fun now? Not much has changed!

Every vacation has some sort of adventure on the itinerary and my idea of fun usually involves doing something I have no idea how to do.

If you could meet any woman in the world for lunch, who would it be, and why? Malala Yousafzai because at such a young age she has a vision and passion that exceeds her own well-being/self-interest.

When have you depended on another woman to help you? My sister is the first woman I turn to. We’ve spent hours on the phone because I find that what I need most is to get my thoughts out and she’s an incredibly patient listener.

How is your dwelling space fun or feminine? I absolutely love the random things I find in my space. Mementos and impulsive buys that I have yet to regret. A month ago I bought a 70’s fondue set from an estate sale and I am giddy with excitement to use it. A year ago I bought an impractical R2-D2 measuring cup but it makes me laugh as I cook.

What advice you would you give to your teenage self?

Listen to your heart. I was really good at this for a long time. Once I began to take in other’s opinions and judgments I veered off course. Big time. When I returned to allowing myself to be enough, my whole world changed once again.

Describe yourself in 3 words or less.

Adventurer

The F UN IS S U E

|

75

The PERPETUAL YOU

Eryn Erickson 3 0 / F O U N D E R + O W N E R , S O W O R T H L O V I N G / AT L A N TA , G A

In what ways are you most feminine? My strengths as a woman are my confidence, my ability to connect and empathize with others, and my strong sense of intuition.

What does femininity mean to you (if anything)?

Femininity is a hard thing to put a definition to, probably because it looks a little bit different for each and every person. To me, it is confidence, inclusion, empowerment, and intuition.

What woman inspires you most? My mom. She sees the world with so many colors. She loves so freely and has held me tight in the best and worst moments.

How did you have fun as a little girl? I grew up on a farm with barn cats, breeding Great Danes and riding horses on 16 acres. My favorite memories are making mud pies and riding three wheelers!

How do you have fun now? Grabbing tacos and margs with my girlfriends is one of my favorite things to do for fun. I love the conversation and vulnerability that flows from a table of women with a desire to connect with others.

If you could meet any woman in the world for lunch, who would it be, and why? I would meet and have lunch with Maya Angelou. She is filled with wisdom and I would be honored just to get to sit and listen to her speak for an hour or two.

What’s one thing about you people would be surprised to learn? I am an extremely analytical person. This has been a recent discovery and has come as a shock

even to me. I have always thought that I am a feelingsdriven, but the truth is I am way more thought driven.

I am constantly analyzing and organizing thoughts to understand my feelings and what is going on around me.

In what way(s) do you help to make the lives of women better? By showing them that vulnerability does not make you weak, but real and relatable. I’d like to encourage women everywhere to be authentic, honest, and inclusive. This is the foundation for a strong community of women who are ready to empower one another.

What lasting piece of advice has your mom given to you? “Be bold. Think bold thoughts and act on your bold thoughts. You can go far in life if you know what you can do with what you have.”

What advice you would you give to your teenage self?

Give yourself grace and permission to explore your creativity despite opinions from your peers. Don't ever believe you've arrived. You won't stop learning if you are open to growth.

For you, what is the connection between Fun and Femininity? Fun and femininity go hand in hand. We, as women, are powerhouses and when we realize that we feel the freedom to be exactly who we are. And with freedom comes fun!

Describe yourself in 3 words or less.

Enthusiastic, empathetic, and empowering.

The F UN IS S U E

|

77

We'd love to thank all the amazing photographers who helped us with this month's cover story.

Tiffany Clarke Harrison P H OT OGRAP HER , KEL L E Y R AY E KEL LEYRAY E .CO M

Ana Rojas P H OT OGRAP HER , ER IN MI T C H E L L The PERPETUAL YOU T HEDEL U S IO N I S T HO U ST O N. C O M

Nancy Shaver PHOTOGR A PHER , SA R A H A N N AY SA R A HA N N AY PHOTOGR A PHY. COM

Emma Michal PHOTOGR A PHER , K AY N A SS WA LK ER STU DI OSLLC. COM

Eryn Erickson PHOTOGR A PHER , M I CHA ELLA JELI N Y ELLOWB I R DVI SU A LS. COM

to align your innermost thoughts with your ever-evolving perspective

The F UN I S S U E

|

79

A R T W O R K by @ N A D I A H O R N

The PERPETUAL YOU

I L L U S T R AT I O N B Y @ A S H L E Y B U N T E N D E S I G N

Orchid The exotic Orchid symbolizes refinement, thoughtfulness, and mature charm. It stands proud and is gloriously feminine.

The PERPETUAL YOU

LIVE

How to Be a Woman ( H I N T: J U S T B E Y O U ! ) with Meghan Kacmarcik By being ourselves, we are feminine, womanly, and beautiful.

I

used to get in trouble for not being “ladylike” when I sat at the dinner table. Every night, I would sit with one leg folded under me and the other bent up, and every night I was told that’s not the way a lady sits.

Beyond beauty products, our culture is saturated with diets and workout routines promising to make us have Michelle Obama’s arms or the legs of a Victoria’s Secret model. Those women are beautiful, AND so are we.

I remember feeling angry and having what is now a very familiar feeling of understanding something is wrong, but not knowing why. I can now look back and see that my preteen self knew that ladies come in all different flavors, that we don’t have to behave any certain way to be “ladylike.”

Our society likes to sell us the idea that there is one way to be a woman-slim, toned, tall (but not too tall) with perfect make up and a sense of on trend style.

That image is sold to us in advertising, magazines, and even in textbooks. That woman has sex appeal and the perfect proportions; she’s smart and fits within the narrow range of socially acceptable ages.

Femininity is one of the many things that our society has preyed on. We live in a culture intent on selling us things to make us more “feminine”—which, more often than not, includes things to alter or mask our body.

Turn on the television and within ten minutes, you’ll see advertisements for products that make us look younger, tighter, smoother or more luxurious.

There’s nothing wrong with lush mascara or a good face cream: the products are not the problem, the idea that advertising executives are selling them essentially to make us all the same person is.

I tried to be that woman once—the one with the “perfect” body, who was desirable and sexy and well dressed and funny and kind and smart and witty.

I starved myself, spent hours at the gym, bought clothes I was uncomfortable in… all so that I could neatly fit into the complex puzzle of being a woman.

I spent years trying to make myself into a perfect puzzle piece, the kind that would just snap right into

continued on next page

The F UN I SS U E

|

83

I wasn't born to be pretty, small, or quiet.

– KATIE WILLCOX

place without anyone giving it a second thought. As much as I tried, though, I couldn’t make myself fit. It turns out that my authentic self with my loud laugh, wide hips, and goofy sense of humor isn’t the right kind of puzzle piece.

Here’s what I learned. There are no requirements to being a woman. You don’t have to have a certain body type or shape or size. You don’t have to have the clothes from the fashion magazines or the trending haircut. You don’t need to be voluptuous or dainty or delicate. You are beautiful, worthy, and enough just by existing in this world as a woman.

Once I let go of who I thought I should be as a woman, I started to embrace who I really was. One of the most powerful things I’ve done is discovering what it is that makes me feel like I’m tapping into my feminine energy-even if it’s things that aren’t sold to us as classically feminine.

I feel most luxurious when I’m cuddled up on my couch wearing a pair of leggings and a cozy sweater with no makeup. I feel beautiful when I’m surrounded by people with positive energy, who encourage me to see the good in myself.

I feel lush when I have a quiet afternoon to spend with my book and a cup of coffee. I harness my feminine energy when I’m having meaningful conversations,

The PERPETUAL YOU

when I’m wearing my partner’s t-shirt around the house and when I’m meditating on my apartment floor. I feel feminine, womanly, and beautiful in the moments when I am my true self.

Do you harness your feminine energy through dance, art, sex or writing? Do you feel most beautiful when you’re wearing sweatpants or heels or scrubs or little black dresses? Do you feel luxurious when you’re sipping your coffee in the morning or when you take a candlelit bath?

You don’t have to strive to be the “perfect” woman; you already are. You don’t need to change. You don’t need to sign up for the diet plan, commit yourself to a new workout routine, buy that anti-aging serum or “fix” any part of your body at all. You are already enough of a woman, just by being your authentic self.

We’re allowed to be silly or squishy or funny or nerdy. We’re allowed to take up space, physically and emotionally. We’re allowed to sit at the table with one leg bent up. We’re allowed to be our authentic selves and hold stake in this world as women without changing anything at all.

Meghan is a blogger, body positivity advocate, eating disorder survivor and Registered Dietitian. You can follow along on her adventures on Instagram @sundaesforthesoul or read her blog at sundaesforthesoul.com.

Coming Soon!

The Perpetual You PRINT magazine is coming to a store (or mailbox!) near you.

View our media kit online at: bit.ly/TPYpartners, or sign up for an individual subscription at bit.ly/TPYandyou.

The F UN I SS U E

|

85

LIVE

Feminine Fearlessness S TA R T I N G D O W N T H E PAT H O F I N T U I T I O N with Katie Rose The PERPETUAL YOU

Have you been afraid to fall in love or leave a relationship for fear of what this would do to your heart? Have you been dreaming of leaving a job or career to branch out on your own? Maybe you have wanted to learn a new skill or hobby but have been telling yourself that it’s too late.

Is this because you are listening to your intuition? Or because you are listening to your fear?

A

s a young woman, I struggled to understand what it meant to be a woman, to be “feminine”. I felt torn between two worlds, one that I thought needed me to be a militant, sexually fluid feminist and my internal world where I was a softer, emotionally sensitive and vulnerable being, a being I thought I needed to hide.

Early in my adulthood it seemed impossible to be both or at least that is what the influences all around me led me to believe. The messages I was receiving equated emotions and the display of emotions with weakness and placed value on cerebral intelligence rather than the emotional intelligence and strong instincts I knew deep down I possessed as a woman.

As most adolescent or young adults are, I was perpetually concerned with what others thought of me. This may not have appeared so on the outside, as I was consistently able to create a tough, nononsense, and even intimidating exterior.

To those around me, I looked like I was having a hell of a lot of fun. Embracing radical feminism, rejecting social norms including anything that had even a whiff of the traditionally feminine, (make-up, long hair, high heels…you get the picture), and soaking up antipatriarchal influence wherever I could find it.

continued on next page

The F UN I S S U E

|

87

My time had been spent conforming to what I thought others wanted of me. I was fearful of allowing others to see my true self, that highly emotional self. I was afraid of allowing them to see me making mistakes, expressing feelings, or trusting my instincts over all else. I feared being vulnerable, being judged, and losing love.

Somewhere along my journey as a woman, I had developed a sense of shame around my emotional self and struggled to listen and trust my intuition, viewing it as a nuisance to be ignored rather than a gift to be cherished.

Throughout my life, I have taken inspiration from women who, despite the influence of others, have pushed through fear and challenged the notions of who they should be, what they should do, and how they should act. A common thread weaves through my feminine role models, such as Rosa Parks Day and Mary Wollstonecraft: the ability to embrace fear and follow their instincts regarding what is right.

On the inside, though, I was wracked with insecurity, anxiety, second-guessing, and an almost insatiable yearning for acceptance coupled with the fear that I would never be “enough” for anything or to anyone. I remember these moments with almost painful clarity.

As is the case when you are not living as your true and authentic self, life was not actually as “fun” as it appeared to be.

The decade that was my late adolescence and 20’s became a distant memory, and I started what seemed to be a completely different life (aka my 30’s).

Something shifted inside of me. I craved a different way of being. I desired more connection with myself.

I yearned to understand what my definition of a woman was.

I began the process to understand myself on a deeper level and began to uncover a truth about myself and my relationship with fear. I realized I had spent the greater part of my young life fearful and that this fear was deeply rooted in my relationships and the power I was allowing others to have over me.

The PERPETUAL YOU

These women have taken risks, embraced vulnerability and have not been afraid to trust their most powerful gift, their own instinct and intuition. Through their influence—and by my own willingness to enter the process of authenticity—I found my feminine fearlessness. In doing so, I have discovered that intuition is the antidote to fear.

When I stopped being afraid of my intuition and emotional intelligence, I was less frightened by the opinions, expectations, and judgments of others.

Owning my emotional intelligence and my strong intuitive self—seeing this all as a gift rather than something to be ashamed of—made me feel strong, made me feel like a woman.

With this strength and fearlessness, I dug deep and listened to my true desires. Some of the things I heard surprised me and even contradicted some of the old beliefs about myself. No longer ashamed to admit what I wanted, I recognized the longing to be married, to be a mother, to have a home, and to run my own business.

Over time my high emotional intelligence and strong intuitive compass has helped me to travel down the paths towards the goals I deeply desire—not because I lack fear, but because, whenever fear pops up, I am able to lean into the fear and trust that my inner being can guide me through.

Feeling silenced and afraid of having a voice is not a unique experience to just me—this is a shared experience among women. When we allow fear to take up a great deal of our energy, we end up missing out on all the fun, excitement, and uncharted territory that life has to offer.

How would embracing your feminine fearlessness, your emotional intelligence, and your intuitive self impact your life?

Whether your fears are big or they are the small, quiet fears of everyday life, bravely ask yourself: Where does the fear come from? When you lean in and listen closely, your intuition will tell you that it’s okay because she knows which direction to take. Trust this intuitive part of yourself—your feminine fearlessness will not lead you astray.

Katie Lynch, LICSW is a psychotherapist dedicated to helping women and couples live more mindfully and love more purposefully. You can connect with her at presentheartcounseling.com.

The F UN I S S U E

|

89

JU N E M A N TR A

I reclaim my feminine energy by giving myself permission to be All of me.

Mantra by Krystal Krystal Brandt, Authenticity Coach, is a soulful, sensual siren who lovingly and powerfully guides high-achieving women back to their innermost desires by re-introducing them

The PERPETUAL YOU to their own intuitive whispers of wisdom. Connect with her via krystalbrandt.com.

The F UN IS S U E

|

91

Women Helping Women A LOOK BEHIND BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHY

Words & Pictures by Amy Guerrette and Kay Nass The PERPETUAL YOU

The F UN I SS U E

|

93

LIVE

We want women to be comfortable with how they look because they are beautiful, just as they are.

A

few years ago, we stuck our heads together. We asked ourselves what we wanted to do with our art, and how we wanted to share our gifts with the world. We talked about preserving memories and telling stories.

Kay had a passion for photography and Amy for art.

Both of us had a passion for working with people in their most joyful moments, so we decided to join together and start a photography business: Walker Studios. We’ve come a long way since the start, but the one thing that hasn't changed is that we love to preserve memories for families.

The PERPETUAL YOU

Photographs are moments in time: history recorded, so fleeting yet so memorable. Our goal is to capture stories, whether love or joy or excitement, so that you may look back on them for years to come. In doing this, we’ve realized how much emotion and feeling can be shown in a photo. You can actually FEEL the joy in the smiles spread across people’s faces.

As we have grown our business has evolved as well, into a love for narrating life events. We care about people, family histories, and life stories. We preserve those fleeting moments that are so important so that

Awesome shoot...thank you so much for allowing me to be apart @wsboudoir – @diamondb___

generations after us will be able to feel the joy that was overflowing that day.

When we began doing boudoir photography, we realized the same thing was true; our boudoir photography could also evoke emotions—feelings of pride, value, and MEANING—for the women we were shooting. In boudoir photography, we realized we could change the way a woman views her body.

By showing women their curves, their smiles, their strength, and their determination, we could erase society’s arbitrary definitions of beautiful.

Since the beginning of time, the female body has been revered as one of the most beautiful things on earth.

Rembrandt, Raphael, Degas, and many other classic painters of the 1800s painted the woman so real and so natural that decades later they are still called “Masters” because of the emotion and raw beauty they embedded into their canvases.

Similarly, our photos depict the female body—not the female body that has been twisted and reshaped to fit into the frames of the hottest magazine covers. The femininity in our boudoir photography is raw, natural beauty captured on our cameras and delivered to our clients. We don’t photoshop the curves and scars of life because these are what make us who we are.

continued on next page

The F UN I S S U E

|

95

Thank you so much @wsboudoir and @catieandamy for making this potentially terrifying experience into something that was fun and thank you for helping me find the beauty in my odd imperfections. – @EMILYY1226

The PERPETUAL YOU

Our grandmother grew up picking cotton in the fields down south.

She talks about the heavy bags they would sling over their backs in return for pennies of pay. She worked tirelessly, saved her money, and built a family and a home just as she wanted. Our mother also worked to support herself, deciding her own fate with an unfaltering determination.

Now, we have set off on our own journeys, full of that same determination and drive to make a difference, to love the world even if it doesn’t love you. As a sister team, we know the importance of family and history, and how best to capture it. Our business foundation is family (and love!).

We feel our most feminine on the days our hands are covered in dirt and paint, the days we’ve pulled apart pallets to reconstruct them into a DIY garden bench; the days we’ve tirelessly organized contracts and invoices, knowing we’re successfully running a pretty sweet sister biz. Our idea of femininity is being independently happy with what we’ve done with our lives.

Our definition of feminine includes a woman’s natural beauty, as well as strength and determination. The women we admire are women who are not afraid to stand up against the “standards” of society… the “norm,” so to speak. Any woman who is willing to go out in the world and make a change to better the life of someone else is a hero to us.

Our favorite boudoir photos are 30-45 minutes into a session, when

All women deserve to see themselves in their most vulnerable and beautiful state. They will gain something that can't entirely be put into words—a mix of confidence, self-love, and appreciation unlike anything else.

– @nt_williams22

our models stopped asking how they should pose and instead began to naturally show their beauty. This photo usually depicts the subject looking toward her own body, studying the curve of her hips, or the length of her legs. She may be running her fingers through her hair admiring how it falls across her shoulder.

At this point, all her past judgments of herself have begun to disappear and she is beginning to rewrite her ideas of who she is and how she feels about herself. This is the moment we are most proud to give to our clients: the moment when she knew her own self-worth.

continued on next page

The F UN IS S U E

|

97

In striving to capture emotion within our photography, we are not only taking a pretty picture of our boudoir ladies, but we are locking in a specific moment in time. By revisiting her boudoir photography, a woman can feel the same feelings she did on that day.

Get to Know Kay & Amy Knowing who your photographers are is one way to combat nervousness about having your photo taken. With that in mind, here are a few facts about the fabulous + fun Walker Sisters:

Amy 1. BATMAN IS THE GREATEST SUPERHERO TO EVER BE INVENTED. 2. I LOVE HORSES, 90 DEGREE SUNSETS, AND ANYTHING WESTERN. 3. MY CHILDREN GIVE THE BEST SNUGGLES 4. WHEN IN DOUBT ADD MAPLE SYRUP 5. I'LL TAKE A MARGARITA WITH KAY ANY DAY. SHE IS MY SIS AFTER ALL. :-)

Kay 1. I LOVE PEANUT BUTTER. SERIOUSLY. 2. I'M A BBC TV SHOW FAN (DOCTOR WHO, SHERLOCK, DOWNTON ABBEY) 3. I LOVE DARK RED NAILPOLISH 4. TOTALLY A BOOK NERD/HAVE AN ENGLISH DEGREE 5. I'LL TAKE A GOOD MARGARITA ANY DAY!

Feel free to send your photographers a little questionnaire before hiring them! The more you know, the more comfortable you will feel.

The PERPETUAL YOU

We want women to be comfortable with how they look, because that is who they are. They are not what society says they are. Our boudoir ladies are beautiful inside and out. Deep down inside we all want to feel beautiful in one way or another; our purpose is to capture the moment in time when you feel your most authentic, natural, and beautiful.

To really understand what it was like to be on the other side of the camera in such a vulnerable state, Kay and I each did a boudoir session of our own. We, too, were uncomfortable in the beginning. We, too, left feeling empowered.

We’d do it all over again. The feeling of gorgeousness never leaves you. Our boudoir photos depict who we are.

If we can be comfortable in our own skin, if we can love ourselves as we are, others around us will fall in love too.

Amy and Kay are the occasionally serious, usually silly, and always happy sister duo behind Walker Studios LLC. They combined Kay’s passion for photography and Amy’s penchant for art to form a photography business that preserves memories and emotions to look back on for years to come.Connect with them at walkerstudiosllc.com.

Photos by Walker Studios LLC Illustration by @sprinklesofcolor

F R EE TO F LY

Amy O. Amy O. is an artist, speaker, and medical marvel who utilizes creativity as a roadmap back to herself during uncertain times. A celebration of life and all its moving parts, her piece, "Free to Fly," depicts the empowerment available through creative expression. See more at AmyOes.com.

The F UN I S S U E

|

99

From Selfless to Self-FullTM Self Discovery for Highly Sensitive, Driven Women. www.christidaniels.com

A Sister Photography Team Traversing New England & Beyond! walkerstudiosllc.com

Fashion/lifestyle/boudoir photographer who travels worldwide

The Magic Star ts Here

lindsaystanford.com

pearlweddingsandevents.com

The PERPETUAL YOU

Photography & Illustration

watercolor artist and designer

mandaluisa.com

ashleybuntendesign.indiemade.com

Sleepwear for a Cause mct-usa.org

Create a life you don't NEED a vacation from. Find out what your people-pleasing ways are costing you on a gif ted 1:1 call with Krystal here: http://bit.ly/TPYCallwithKr ystal

The F UN I SS U E

|

101

@HELIXIS7185

@CORDELLAMAG

@PAISLEYROSIE

@CASEOFTHEBOHEMIAN

@CMJOHNSONART

@TIFFCLARKEHARRISON

@PEARL_WEDDINGS

@HOUSEFLYCO

@LIFEUNSTILL

VI N TA GE F EM I N I N E

This month, we're celebrating the parts of our lives that speak to tried + true femininity, from vintage clothes and accessories to the women we most long to be.

Share your #vintagefeminine pics with us by tagging @theperpetualyou for the chance to be featured on our feed!

I am an expression of the divine.. – AL I CE WAL KER

The F UN I S SU E

|

103

Unleash Femininity