Page 1

The Ease Issue APRIL 2017 | Series No. 6, Issue No. 1

Resist the Hustle with

ALSO

Tara Newman

R E WRITE YO UR S TO RY • SHARE THE LOVE • I NSPI R E YOUR S E LF


The PERPETUAL YOU


We believe in choosing, embracing, unleashing, and celebrating who you've always been – who you already are – who you want to be.

Be YOU...the Perpetual You.

The E A S E I S S U E

|

3


L E T T E R from our E D I T O R

THE

T H E OF F I CE

The Perpetual You 101 Putnam Ave. Hamden, CT 06517

T H E LI ST

To receive each issue of the magazine directly to your inbox, join our mailing list at: theperpetualyou.com/read.

T H E COM M U N I T Y

Look for us on social media @theperpetualyou.

W

hen my sister and I started this magazine, we agreed on one thing: we didn’t want to work 365 days a year, 24 hours a day just to be successful. I then proceeded to work for the next 365 days for roughly 24 hours a day (okay, maybe a few hours more occasionally) in order to bring our vision into reality. Ladies, if you didn’t already know it, let me be the first to tell you: 24/7 entrepreneurship isn’t just unrealistic (because: sleep), it’s downright dangerous (because: burnout). Hustling leads to the exact opposite result that we want. Success comes from sustainable goals, steady growth, and sleep. Lots and lots of sleep. Or rest, or self-care, or whatever makes you feel human again at the end of a long day. Possibility, to me, is the opposite of hustling because possibility invites EASE. Possibility means deciding what you want to do while being open to something better.

T H E S OCI E T Y

Meet likeminded women in our private FB group, The Perpetual You Society.

I’m not promising a life without passion and commitment, nor do I want that for myself. Along with wholeheartedness, though, I want options. And I want to take a day off without feeling like I’m missing out. Don’t you?

lee lee The PERPETUAL YOU


P H O T O by @ B E C C A O L C O T T

What would our lives be like if our days were studded by tiny, completely unproductive, silly, nonstrategic, wild and beautiful five-minute breaks? – SHAUNA NIEQUIST

The E A S E I S S U E

|

5


SHOP N OW

Shop the Marketplace The Perpetual You's curated marketplace of responsibly-made, small batch goods is online! theperpetualyou.com/the-marketplace

Intern with Us The Perpetual You is seeking a summer intern who has interest in publishing, marketing, social media, and/or graphic design. Experience is helpful but more important is the alignment of your values with our professional atmosphere. The PERPETUAL YOU

To find more at: http://bit.ly/TPYintern.


IN THIS ISSUE

Create Ease by Choosing Possibility The E A S E I S S U E

|

7


F I N D U S @ T H E P E R P E T U A LY O U

Realize Control your work/life balance by letting go of rules, routines, and rigid expectations that no longer align with your core desires. Find ease in options. Defy limits. Stand for your beliefs.

13 41

Dwell Create spaces that ooze with possibility and encourage thinking outside the box. Whether you’ve rented an entire store or you’ve carved-out space in a former closet, love the place you’ve chosen to create.

The PERPETUAL YOU


M O N T H LY M U S I C

Get some prioritizing inspiration from this month's playlist: "One Day, Someday, Today."

Choose Choose ease over easy, structure over saturation, performance over perfection, and success over

65

Live

stereotypes. With Tara Newman of The Bold Leadership Revolution.

79

Clear out the emotional clutter and release limiting beliefs. Invite ease and make room for magic. Inspire yourself and focus on your business. Take a day off from criticism and comparison, and celebrate your wins instead.

The E A S E I S S U E

|

9


F I N D U S @ T H E P E R P E T U A LY O U

THE MAKERS

Our makers consistently share their time & talents. We'd love to introduce you to the lovely ladies who contributed to this month's issue.

Amanda Luisa Nicastro

Jen

Cover Story Photographer

Dwell Feature Photographer

@amandaluisaart mandaluisa.com

@jenwenzelphoto JenniferWenzelPhotography.com

Amanda is a photographer and artist specializing in portrait, wedding, and lifestyle photography. She grew up in central MA and recently moved to CT. She loves helping people create memories by capturing authentic, natural moments and personalities and celebrating real moments in every day life. This is Amanda's 3rd cover shoot for The Perpetual You.

Jen is a happy photographer, who lives in a 1926 fixer upper in Jacksonville, Florida with her hubby and two fur babies. Her favorite place is the front porch and she's happiest on days spent at the sea. Despite a thoughtfully curated social media persona, she's most grateful for the messy beauty of her real life. This is Jen's first Dwell feature shoot for The Perpetual You.

The PERPETUAL YOU


P.K.

Lianne

Micayla

Proofreader

Editor

Book Editor

Connect on Facebook

@hilodaisy

@uggly_mugg zucchiniontheceiling.com

Paola

Lindsay

Krystal

Contributing Photographer

Collaborating Photographer

Mantra Siren

@pshoots paolanazati.com

@lindsay_stanford lindsaystanford.com

@krystalbrandt krystalbrandt.com

Nadia

Ashley

Kelsey

Collaborating Artist

Collaborating Artist

Collaborating Artist

@nadiahorn NadiaHorn.com

@ashleybuntendesign AshleyBuntendesign.indiemade.com

@kjamesondesigns KelseyJamesonDesigns.com

The E A S E I S S U E

|

11


F I N D U S @ T H E P E R P E T U A LY O U

THE TEAM

Lee Lee Creative Director & Managing Editor @leeleeinp

The Lee Lee is the #ladyboss of The Perpetual You. A writer by trade, designer by heart, and mother by choice, she seeks intentional practices and a positive mindset. If you’re near Hamden, CT, she welcomes you to stop by her front porch.

Lee Lee's Current Top 3 Pastime: Making To Do Lists and Brainstorming Sandwich: BLT and Avocado Mantra: "Let It Go" and "Let it Be"

Kay

Jessie

Staff Photographer

Art Director

@walkerstudiosllc walkerstudiosllc.com

@littlelegendsdesign littlelegends.com

Kay Nass travels New England and beyond chasing sunsets, circling dance floors, capturing tears & laughter, all in the pursuit of preserving stories of love, friendship, and family.

Jessie Leiber is a multi-disciplinary designer striving to make her world more pixel-perfect. When she's not poring over mockups, she can be found singing (loudly) in her car or compulsively buying striped shirts.

The PERPETUAL YOU


to align your daily practices with your ever-evolving desires


A R T W O R K by @ N A D I A H O R N

The PERPETUAL YOU


I L L U S T R A T I O N by @ M E A G H A N P E L D E R K I N

T H E L A DY

Harriet Tubman After escaping slavery as a young adult, Harriet Tubman immediately returned to Maryland to rescue her family. Through her passion project—the Underground Railroad—she guided other slaves to the freedom she’d found. Serving as an armed scout and spy for the Union Army, Harriet had a challenging life, but still created the possibility of ease and freedom for many families like her own.

W O R D S by P . K . M C G I L L

The E A S E IS S U E

|

15


No periods, only ellipses. You can always change your mind. – ERIN LOCHNER

The PERPETUAL YOU


REALIZE

C HO O S E

Your Ending with Markie Lynne Jones

It’s easier to be flexible with your timeline, even when you know the end goal, if we pay attention to patterns of behavior when making decisions.

I

started direct marketing shortly out of high school as an “easy” way to make quick money. Before my 21st birthday, I’d signed up for Avon, Pampered Chef, and at least one other. None of them served the purpose I needed them to, though I did end up with an amazing kitchen full of gadgets (90% of which I don’t even use anymore). In 2010, I started my photography business, with little to no business knowledge. When my husband and I separated in 2011, later divorcing in 2012, I knew I would need something else to cover my bills. I went back to work, putting my photography on the back burner. Over the next two years, photography brought in enough income to cover some expenses, but not quite enough for the lifestyle I was used to. In 2014, direct marketing opportunities came rolling in once again. First was Chloe + Isabel, a jewelry company, which I joined. Next came Perfectly Posh, a pampering

products company, which I also joined. I was raising a preschooler, had a baby, then attempted to start two more side hustles (Beachbody and a VA business). At one point, I was “working” about 5 jobs, not including my volunteer activities and taking care of my family. To be honest, it was a tad bit insane to try and keep up. These old habits of trying to make money fast needed to die quickly. To regain my sanity, I had to sit down and make some big decisions. I had to decide what was really benefiting me in a way that made it worth giving something else up. Posh, Beachbody and Chloe + Isabel were sucking up time from my children. Most nights I spent in front of my computer, planning posts, running online parties and trying to make the business work. I let go of

continued on next page

The E A S E I S S U E

|

17


Start Today There’s no need to jump on every opportunity that presents itself. Sometimes it’s more important to focus on what brings you happiness in this moment, and let the ride take you where you should be.

1

Write Out a Plan Write out your obligations from most enjoyable to least enjoyable. Rate them in regards to how much each one benefits you (happiness, financial, helps reaching your goals). See if there’s anything you can ditch from this list. For help on choosing what’s essential and what isn’t, check out this month’s selfcare toolkit on page 34.

Beachbody and Chloe + Isabel since they weren’t bringing in any money. Posh brings recurring payments with very little work, so I hung on to that. Once those three were taken care of, I prioritized the rest of my list and started from the bottom, getting rid of things that no longer brought me happiness. My photography business stayed because I love it. The ability to show people the world through photographs is a blessing that I cannot replace. My business has grown immensely since I began concentrating on it, and much to my surprise (and joy) my eldest daughter has decided she wants to be a photographer as well. My day job helps keep our bills paid, until I get to a point where I can branch out on my own and rely on my photography alone to keep us afloat. It’s taken a while to realize that none of my dreams are going to happen overnight. I need the stability and drive to bring them to life. One day in the future, I’ll have achieved my dream of being a stay at home mom and full time photographer.

Markie is a PNW Wedding photographer and mother to two adorable little fireball girls and two rather overactive dogs, who loves to find new adventures around the Bonney Lake area. She enjoys photographing intimate engagement sessions and weddings throughout the Greater Seattle Area

The PERPETUAL YOU

2

Plan Your Financials Pay attention to what things are costing you; not just monetarily either. How much time are these opportunities taking away from your family or the things you really want to do in life? Is it worth the exchange for a few extra dollars a month or could you budget the money from somewhere else? Explore possibility in your closet by reading this month’s style article on page 36.

3

Have a Plan B Do those things you really want to do. It’s ok to say no to an opportunity that sounds amazing but isn’t something you’re willing to trade for (we always trade something). Just like it’s perfectly ok to jump on an opportunity that you really love, but might not be extremely beneficial at that moment. Read how pairing an intention with natural movement can assist when exploring opportunities on page 24.


Keep up with all our book suggestions by following us on Pinterest. T H E PAT H O F P O S S I B I L I T Y

In The Company of Women

My Life in France

A Room of One’s Own

by Grace Bonney, Pub. 2016

by Julia Child, Pub. 2014

by Virginia Woolf, Pub. 1929

Most of us have felt trapped by expectations or locked into a life-path that feels totally wrong at one point or another. One way out is to turn to inspiration, such as this book—which presents interviews with women on 100 uniquely different paths. This gorgeously illustrated memento shines bright and illuminates all the happiness that awaits those who are brave enough to step into ease, and choose to follow their own path – in career, family, and creativity.

Julia Child chose to ease into the day and taste the possibility. In her autobiography – assembled just months before her passing –Child reveals her private world through the lens of personal photographs, letters, and the like. In it, we slip into the milieu this renowned chef spent a lifetime cultivating. Her passion and sense of ease are as smooth and simple as a buttered croissant. If you want to taste the goodness of life, add this memoir to the menu.

This collection of essays is a beautiful reminder of how far we’ve come, and how far we still have to go. Through her writings, Virginia Woolf explored the world—not as it was, but as it could’ve been. She opens our eyes to the possibility right under our noses, while still acknowledging the very-real patriarchal walls standing in our way. This classic gem evokes ease by honoring the options, possibilities, and vastly different paths that are open for exploration.

The E A S E IS S U E

|

19


The PERPETUAL YOU


REALIZE

C HO O S E

Limitless with Rachel Haas Welcome to the limitless possibilities of the lunchtime sandwich.

H

ustle is a word heard so often in the world of the entrepreneur woman. Head down, work hard, find your hustle, power through. Go, go, go, girl. Suddenly, we find ourselves turning to soggy bread and leftover cold cuts from last week’s potluck—whatever we can dig from the drawer in the fridge where we turn when time is short and “hustle” is ruling the roost. Fueling your body and taking time to prioritize your health and taste goals are just as important as launching that new business or creating a new label. Taking time for yourself and sinking

your teeth into a delicious lunchtime spread feels amazing and will provide the energy you need to powerhouse through those afternoon goals. Artisan bread, sharply flavored cheese, fresh vegetables. Spoil yourself with some crisp bacon, sliced apples, and some lovely cheddar in a panini press. A soft tortilla can be the home for baby spinach and freshly made chicken salad. In sandwich ingredients, as in life: the sky is the limit.

Feast on more of Rachel's food experiences at her @rlhaaswriter or R-L-Haas-Writer.

The E A S E IS S U E

|

21


Interested in trying this out yourself? Click to view the recipe on imbibe.com.

The PERPETUAL YOU


REALIZE

South of No North Planning a working lunch or #ladyboss happy hour? We’ve got the cocktail for you! Appealing to coffee connoisseurs and cocktail aficionados alike, the South of No North suits your drinking desires, no matter the time of day. Keep in mind, though, that this is a tequila based drink; your work lunch might just turn into an afternoon off… We won’t bore you big picture thinkers with the nitty gritty details. All you need to know is that a frothy egg white and a tantalizing liquor called Cynar are a part of this drink’s magic. And cold brew coffee, of course. Ethiopian or African recommended, though anything will do. True to its Bukowski heritage, this cocktail is pure poetry: complex to make, beautiful to look at, and easy to drink. Ladies, the work/ life blend just got a little more delicious!

PHOTO by Life Unstill Photography

The E A S E IS S U E

|

23


REALIZE

C HO O S E

To do Less with Julia Grimaldi

Pairing natural movement with an intention provides us with a grounding tool to welcome and expand our energy that may seek to get it all done. Intentions direct our mind, keep us focused, and help us do the things we want to get done. Setting an intention for movement offers the opportunity to invite and accept EASE in our daily routines. Slow down, ask yourself: What does my body want and need right now? How do I want to feel in this present moment? Each woman has different needs for health and different preferences for movement. Do you sing, dance, paint, color? We need not run a marathon to enhance our lives or physical body; any movement can provide ease and energy, any activity can support and stretch us. Tap in to your longings and trust your body. We can choose to do less instead of more. This intention will likely manifest in greater creativity, balance, patience, and rejuvenation. Opportunities are within our reach; when we align our curiosity with possibility, even the most impossible becomes possible.

The PERPETUAL YOU


The E A S E I S S U E

|

25


1

2

3

4

The PERPETUAL YOU


REALIZE

C HO O S E

Paper Paper is the New Online. 5 Buying paper products isn’t old-school, it’s a very modern way to support your favorite small batch makers and get a versatile, customizable product in the process. The tactile element of paper products appeals to our creative side, and gives us yet another way to decorate our office space, whether at home or surrounded by other working women. Click on the title of each product to shop.

1 | Personalized Stationary by Crane & Co (from $1.27/card)

2 | Coloring Book by Valerie McKeehan ($14.99)

6

7

3 | Paper Flower Bouquet by NonScents Flowers LLC ($12)

4 | Square Business Cards by MOO (from $22.99)

5 | Thank You Cards by Studio Strata ($5)

6 | Weekly Calendar Desk Pad by Rifle Paper Co. ($12)

7 | File Folders by Threshold ($5.99)

The E A S E IS S U E

|

27


Handmade modern heirlooms for your home

Modern ar t inspired jewelr y for the mildly rebellious flow-goer

casaandcodesign.com

leocadiak.com

Soy Candles | Ar t | Home

Handmade Leather Travel Notebooks

raynehomedecor.com

redpentravelers.com

The PERPETUAL YOU


REALIZE

C HO O S E

The Moment

with photographer Paola Nazati

Though I normally use winter to prepare for the upcoming wedding photography season and focus on business goal setting, my husband, who is amazingly supportive, convinced me that a change of atmosphere would provide valuable perspective to my work—so I flew half way around the world to meet him in Myanmar.

The E A S E I S S U E

|

29


A

t first, I was hesitant to leave. I felt a huge sense of guilt and anxiety about taking time away from working on my business. My husband and I both travel often for work, but rarely travel together. I couldn’t pass up a two-week break in both of our schedules.

I’m so glad I decided to say, “Screw it; work can wait.” While my husband worked, I traveled on my own and immersed myself in the culture and landscape. I took a local cooking class, met with weavers and potters, and learned how to make traditional paper.

I never could have expected the impact that Myanmar would have on me. From the ruins in the ancient city of Bagan to the floating villages and amazing culture of Inle Lake, I found a sense of magic and intrigue in every turn.

The PERPETUAL YOU


I hardly posted on social media and wasn’t compelled to instantly share my experiences. The trip was exactly what I needed: a reminder that it’s okay to step away and just be in the moment.

Paola Nazati is a D.C. photographer who specializes in wedding, portraits, and commercial lifestyle photography. She started taking photos at 16 years of age and subsequently received her BFA from Savannah College of Art & Design.

The E A S E I S S U E

|

31


REALIZE

Choose to Take a Stand with Leigh Schwab

Being an entrepreneur can be exhilarating because choosing a path that motivates you offers immense rewards. When the demands and decisions get to be overwhelming, step back and remember why you began this journey in the first place.

I

chose to start my own business with Beautycounter because I connected with their mission to get safe products into the hands of everyone. Until that time, I had been using what I thought were safe products. After some research, though, I learned about the minimal regulation over the cosmetics industry. Becoming a mother opened my awareness to the toxic ingredients in the products I was buying. I knew that in good conscious I couldn’t stand by and not share the information I was learning. I am grateful to be a

The PERPETUAL YOU

working part of a company that is truly making the world a better place. I love sharing beauty products and helping people find a skin care regimen that works for their skin type, and my passion is only increased by a core desire to educate women about their products. When the glitz and glamour of entrepreneurship wears off, which values will you ground yourself in? What will motivate you to keep going?


BeYOUtiful

1

There are countless ways to support the clean beauty movement. Which will you choose?

1

Support a Maker Buying small batch beauty is a way to get quality products and to support female makers you admire. Holly Green, from Norabloom Botanicals, is a new favorite of mine. A certified oncology esthetician, Holly created a skincare line to help soothe irritated skin after cancer treatment.

Leigh recommends supporting a small batch maker such as Norabloom Botanicals

2

Read the Label The choices you make today will affect the world of tomorrow. My personal choices for beauty products are based on ingredients and environmental effects of the products, meaning safe and clean ingredients that are sourced from sustainable and nonGMO providers.

2

Leigh recommends browsing an on-line store like The Detox Market

3

Join the Cause My passion about educating others led me to become a Beautycounter rep. I want to live in a world where my children don’t have to read the label of their shampoo to make sure it is safe—and I’m willing to do what it takes to make sure that world becomes a reality.

Leigh recommends taking action with Beautycounter

3

Leigh Schwab uses her love for skin care to help educate women about the ingredients in their products and the need for proper skin care legislation in our country. Learn more about her passion for a healthy and simple life on Facebook and Instagram @leighschwab.

The E A S E I SS U E

|

33


REALIZE

April Self-Care Toolkit

C HO O S E

The Essential with Ashley Dees

The PERPETUAL YOU

Gotu Kola Peppermint Obsidian Rhiannon


Putting energy into our spiritual lives will fuel what we do at work. If our wellbeing receives equal attention as the other parts of our life, we’ll be less stressed and much happier every day. This month’s toolkit will help you to evaluate what is most important in your life and focus on that.

H E RB

ESSE N TI AL O IL

CRYSTAL

GO D D ESS

Gotu Kola

Peppermint

Obsidian

Rhiannon

B E N E F I TS

BE N E FI TS

BENEFITS

BEN E FITS

Stimulates memory

Opens your creative mind

Jumpstarts your journey

Assists with inspiration

G

otu Kola helps to stimulate memory and improved general brain function, and is also used to balance the adrenals when they are overworked. Add this herb to your weekly infusion as a cerebral and stress tonic. (4 Tb to one quart of boiling water; steep for 30 minutes.) For flavor, add an aromatic herb like peppermint. A great addition to nausea and headache blends, Peppermint gets the blood flowing and brings stimulation to any area. Add this stimulating herb to an inhaler to keep your mind open, awake, and creative. Use dried peppermint herb for upset stomach, to cool down, or to help with nausea. Obsidian comes in many forms but black obsidian is the most common. This stone will cut out what is not needed and help jumpstart you on the right path. Use

this very powerful stone when you are ready for a big life change or place by your front door for protection. The Sorceress, Rhiannon, assists with manifestations and inspiration. Rhiannon reminds us that, if we are searching for our spiritual nature, all we have to do is step outside. The sun, stars, and moon can activate memories from ancient times which can guide you on your spiritual path. In our busy lives, we must even prioritize setting priorities. Let this month’s selfcare routines help you to focus on what is most essential. Envision your life’s path clearly, exist in possibility, and move toward Ease.

Learn more about Ashley, and how she teaches and gathers goddesses together at Green Harmony Aromatherapy. Featured photo by @beccaolcott Obsidian photo by @taiastreasures

The E A S E I S S U E

|

35


REALIZE

Choose to Have Options with Caitie Sherrick

Personal style is just that: personal. And when something is personal it’s always right.

C

ways to style that t-shirt. You realize that you can wear a different pair of shoes with those jeans every day of the week and, magically, your sweater layers perfectly over everything from a tank top to a button down.

When you look at everything with possibility, your options are endless. Suddenly, you have 25 different

From choosing the color of your t-shirt to deciding how to tie your scarf; from choosing the style of your shoes to deciding how to tie them; from choosing the wash of your jeans to deciding how to layer your jacket, you have options. Acknowledging your options keeps your personal style full of potential.

onfession: while the purpose of these monthly style spreads is to give you easy, intentional style tips, the truth is there’s no right or wrong way to get dressed in the morning. There’s no right or wrong way to style a t-shirt, there are no right or wrong shoes to wear with those pants, and there is no right or wrong way to layer that sweater. There are no real rules in style, only possibilities.

The PERPETUAL YOU


Choose a Relaxed Fit Versatile and forgiving, a man’s t-shirt is a natural choice when you want to be relaxed and ready.

1

Tucked Take the “man” out of your man’s t-shirt by tucking it into a pair of high-waisted jeans. Pair that combo with some ankle boots and statement earrings for a feminine, chic look appropriate for everyday activities. Pictured: man’s t-shirt, high-waisted jeans, booties, Leocadia K. Turquoise Clan Earrings

2

Rolled

1 2

Give your man’s t-shirt greater purpose by rolling the sleeves and leaving it loose. Throw on some torn jeans, a pair of comfortable flats, and some shiny bracelets for a styled look that doesn’t take all day to put together. Pictured: man’s t-shirt, torn jeans, flats, Leocadia K. Cuffs

3

Tied Add some structure to your t-shirt by tying it in a knot at your waist. To emphasize your curves, pair with high-waisted jeans and converse. Top off with a longer necklace for a layered silhouette that balances masculine and feminine energy. Pictured: men’s t-shirt, high waisted jeans, converse, Leocadia K. Eclipse Necklace

3

Caitie Sherrick is a jewelry designer + stylist for mildly rebellious flow-goers at Leocadia K. She’s deeply inspired by modern art, has a boho heart + loves the warm, unconditional love of a good cup of chai tea. Join her on Instagram @caitiesherrick for daily inspiration + visit her shop for more every day outfit ideas.

The E A S E IS S U E

|

37


P H O T O by @ B E C C A O L C O T T

P E R S P E C T I V E S from T H E PA N E L

How do you choose possibility when there's a thousand things to get done?

Kaliada Designer/Co-Founder Kaliada @kaliada_ kaliada.com

The PERPETUAL YOU

I focus on the now and what my priorities are at the moment. I do create a vision of how I would like my life to be (on a personal and professional level) and work on realistic goals to get there, but in the process I focus myself on setting my priorities, in accordance to my goals, on a daily basis and don’t stress over what everyone else is doing, if it is not a priority on my list.


Tessa Homesteader/ Life Coach/Farmstay Hostess The Chittle Homestead @tessachittle TheChittleHomestead.com

Cate Creative Director Cordella Magazine @cateclother Cordella.org

Dani Founder Core Chakra @core_chakra CoreChakra.com

Cat Owner AmLo Farms @catballou24 AmLofarms.com

Having a written manifesto of the values I want to embody in every action of my day keeps me focused on the present moment. Even if I don’t get everything done on the homestead project list, I still feel that each action was in alignment with what I want to stand for in the world. I also remind myself how—even though I almost never check off my planned project list—at the end of a year of small consistent actions, amazing things get accomplished.

Something that has really helped me lately is the realization that I am not a brand. I have a brand, which is fabulous, but I myself am NOT that brand. My life doesn't have to be quiet and sweet and pastel all the damn time; it can be loud, messy, alive, and SHOULD be these things. I'm trying to give my full attention to whatever is deserving of it at that moment – be it my children, my workplace, or my own creative initiative.

Over the last two months I've had to press pause and reflect on what my message really is, how my business is evolving, and what's most important to me. I'm learning to balance my needs while still putting myself out there so that I can manifest some serious abundance. Patience is the answer at this point. I need to respect the time that it will take to create my vision, and always remain open to what my heart is directing me to do.

Choosing possibility has become a priority to maintain a spiritual and emotional sense of balance. A good example is the 2 week road trip I just took with my 13-year-old daughter. We had a great time laughing, driving, hiking and exploring. I chose the possibility of bonding with my girl over the everyday struggles. When we got home, things still needed to get done, but I was reset and ready to tackle it.

The E A S E I SS U E

|

39


P H O T O by @ B E C C A O L C O T T

– MADE LE IN E L’E N GL E

The PERPETUAL YOU


to align your physical space with your ever-evolving self

The E A S E I S S U E

|

41


A R T W O R K by @ N A D I A H O R N

The PERPETUAL YOU


tape /tāp / noun​ A flexible way to fasten together ideas

The E A S E I S S U E

|

43


The PERPETUAL YOU


DW E L L

Go Shopping Shop this collection of accessories in our September 2015 product spread

Easy on the Eyes The right collection of accessories can keep you motivated, reflect your aspirations, and make everyday tasks easier and more fun.

I

f you ask us, the word “accessory” is a misnomer. The accoutrements of a home office or creative workspace can make or break a productive day, and not just because they provide ambience— though we won’t discount the importance of being surrounded by items you love! Accessories are the tools of the trade, waiting there at your fingertips, ready to make your job easier. Further, investing in a collection of office accessories that you love is an act of declaration! It tells the world (of which you are a part) that you mean business.

No ordinary throwaway tape dispenser will do for the lady-boss who’s going to change the world! No “free giveaway” coffee mug will suffice when you’re working the “9 to whenever I’m done” shift. Surround yourself with necessary objects that are as beautiful as they are useful. Whether a vintage collection curated over time or a well-deserved shopping spree* at your favorite store, let the world know you intend to enjoy your workday, right down to the smallest detail.

The E A S E I S S U E

|

45


The PERPETUAL YOU


DW E L L

Crafting Possibility Finding a studio/retail space that can accommodate 26 people easily, but also be intimate enough to host 5 people was how I rekindled possibility in my business. The physical space fully represents the bonds and friendships my customers are making through the experience of crafting together.

M

y purpose in starting my business, Craftivate, was not a simple one. I want people to feel welcome, at ease and ready to get their creative juices flowing. I want them to feel excited to learn and be open to receiving artistic inspiration for their projects. I want people to recognize a sense of community and find encouragement through working together. I want people to be comfortable enough to go out of their comfort zones and try their hands at something that may be new to them. I want them to feel they can leave their stress at the door and enjoy themselves for a few hours. It makes sense, then, that the location for my business would not be simple either. First, I needed the space to be large enough to fit a certain number of people at once, and also store all of the supplies I need. Next, I needed a space with natural light, that was bright, open, and airy, where the colors pop and the mood is carefree. Third, I had a budget I needed to stay within so that I could pay the rent and grow my business.

A former (dark + dingy) hair salon in downtown Wallingford, CT, might not seem like that space, but I have transformed it into just that. I’ve loved shopping for the furniture and figuring out what functional pieces would work best but also look good. Putting together this space has meant establishing a place where creativity thrives. I kept the color palette neutral—black, white, and gray—so that the colorful crafts and my branding, which incorporates pink and green, would pop against the background. An excess of “blank space” gives the effect of a clean slate, helpful when beginning a craft. On this backdrop, I hung inspirational pieces, including finished crafts from former events. They look completely at home, hanging over vintage and unique storage items, such as old printing trays I’m using as display cases. Each week, the space becomes more like the picture I had in my head when I started my search.

continued on next page

The E A S E IS S U E

|

47


I am glad to be in this space and experiencing the transformation—a transformation directly linked to the production of my work and the growth of my business. With every successful event, another craft is added to the walls of the Craftivate studio, adding to the story of this space. Piece by piece, I’m creating a space filled with personal meaning and story, enriching the creative energy that appealed to me in the first place. My design plan is to always be curating and experimenting with the space. The crafts displayed will be in constant rotation, and the retail inventory will update with the seasons. I plan to add more shelving to display crafts, and long to create a lounge area in the front where people can gather, relax, and mingle. Sometimes it just takes rearranging the furniture to breathe some new life into a space. When I look around my new studio, I’m proud and grateful. This is a place where I can share my talents and be influenced by the talents of others. Here, I have the opportunity to reach business goals and be flexible; to experiment and do what I know how to do best; to bring my kids to work with me or take time off

The PERPETUAL YOU

when I need it; to make my own schedule, create my own art, and dream big dreams. Finding this location is a realization of my longtime dream to open my creative business and have a storefront. Renting this space has proved that “what you make of it” is truly more important than any preconceived notions of what’s supposed to be. Taking things moment by moment and doing what you can with what you have is way more fulfilling and real than all the hustling posts and picture perfect pins in the world. Sticking to a budget, working with the space I have, using up-cycled materials, accepting help from family and friends, connecting to locals and other small businesses, becoming part of the Wallingford community, and being able to provide my services for so many amazing customers is tangible and real and has added more richness to my daily life than a million followers ever could.

Amy Stamp brings ease to crafting through connection, conversation, and gentle coaching. She opened her retail studio and craft space in Wallingford at the beginning of this year.


Dwell on This Whether you have a retail location, a creative workspace, or you’re working out of a home office, you can create a space you love to be in, that invites ease and reminds you of possibility. Here are my top 3 tips for creative design:

1

Save Where You Can There are so many DIY crafts that can be used as decoration. For example, the circle garland that I have hanging on the studio wall is great for parties or a fun decoration for children’s rooms. I created my garland using a large hole punch to cut circles out of cardstock, running the circles through a sewing machine to connect them, and attaching them to the wall with some painter’s tape.

2

Spend When You Need To I didn’t want to make too many changes to the space or invest too much money because I am renting. I chose to invest money in a beautiful washing station for my Craftivators. We purchased the counter top, cabinets, and sink and I picked out new accessories and my favorite crafts to decorate this area with.

3

Showcase What You Have A key design element in my space is that I incorporated handmade and vintage items, alongside newer items purchased at big box stores. When you display the things you’ve made or even just those things you love, walking past them day to day serves as a reminder of the possibilities within your personality.

Does your home bear the marks of intentional design? We’d love to feature you! Send us an email: hello@theperpetualyou.com

The E A S E I S S U E

|

49


The PERPETUAL YOU


HOME OFFICE

Harmony F I N D I N G B A L A N C E I N A S H A R E D W O R K S PA C E

Words by Christina Benjamin Photos by Jen Wenzel The E A S E IS S U E

|

51


DW E L L

For the modern entrepreneur, the concept of working from home is where it all starts. In the beginning, your couch may be the drawing board of your dreams; then you graduate to the dining room table, neatly piling your plans between meals. As you expand, which you absolutely will because you’re a rock star, you find you need more space to grow your goals. You then find yourself at the crossroads of how to balance your home and workspace.

The PERPETUAL YOU


Define success on your own terms. Achieve it by your own rules. And build a life you're proud to live. – ANNE SWEENEY

The E A S E I S S U E

|

53


T

hat’s exactly where I found myself a year ago: working on a folding table in the guest room of the house my spouse and business partner, Philip, and I were renting. To say living space was cramped at our 1920s bungalow is an understatement. We moved from a 2000+ square foot home we had built to a 900-square-foot cottage that needed a lot of love. Why? Because we were following our dreams. In 2013, after the unexpected loss of our only child, Philip and I found ourselves reevaluating life. The idea that tomorrow isn’t promised and we needed to follow our dreams today was paramount, and we were inspired to quit our jobs, sell our home, and move to a town we’d only thought of vacationing in.

The PERPETUAL YOU

I’ve been lucky to work in the fashion and home decorating industry for most of my life. Both were fun and allowed me to express my creative side, but my true love has always been writing. With my new mantra of “celebrate life and chase your dreams,” I took a leap of faith and decided to pursue a writing career that had started as a hobby. Meanwhile, Philip was working on turning his part-time graphic design business into a full-time endeavor that would support our goals of selfemployment success.

continued on page 56


The E A S E I S S U E

|

55


paid to decorate more homes than I can count, but finally getting to do my own was a dream come true, especially since I was designing an office where I would spend my days doing what I love.

This meant we were both working in our home, which we shared with a dog and two distracting but adorable fur-ball cats. Sharing an office isn’t easy. Why do you think everyone always covets the private office with the view? My guess is so they don’t kill their co-workers. But I digress… If sharing an office is difficult, what happens when you share that space with your spouse? Or when that office space is in your house? Basically, it means there’s nowhere to escape, so you better get great at compromise and use of space. After two years of hard work and many “make it work” moments, we had built our businesses enough to purchase a home. We were ecstatic. Being homeowners again gave us the flexibility to mold our home to fit our needs. And the thing we were most excited about? You guessed it…the office! We bought a 3 bedroom, 2 bath townhome. Not a mansion by any means, but we were excited about the possibilities the extra space would afford us. Now came the hard part, compromising how to best use the space. Although it would have been great to each take over a room as a private office, we ultimately chose to share a room so we could have a guest bedroom. Now that our decision was made, it was time for the fun—or at least what I call fun—designing! I’d been

The PERPETUAL YOU

The first thing I chose was the color palette. I like neutrals, and chose blue and gray tones that are calming. When sharing a space, there can’t be too much calmness! Then I began my vision boards on Pinterest. The room came together when I found a fun idea to spice up the walls by using thick stripes of paint: super affordable and only took a day. The hardest part was measuring the distance of the stripes evenly.


Tip: Grab a friend and use a chalk line to create straight lines. They’re a great guideline for painter’s tape and they erase with a damp cloth. The next element was work surfaces. Philip likes to stand at a desk; I like to sit. Standing desks are expensive, and not very cute in terms of design. Our compromise was to use a pub-height table we already owned. It’s the perfect height for Philip to stand, it has four chairs so I can sit and we even have extra space for client meetings. I loved that we found an uncommon use for this set. Tip: Think outside the box. See what you already have before going out to buy something new.

continued on next page

The E A S E IS S U E

|

57


The PERPETUAL YOU


Our final dilemma was a private space for my writing. I’ve found I do my best work when I spend long hours locked away without distraction, a challenge when sharing a workspace. You can’t help but talk to someone when they’re in the same room. To avoid “don’t interrupt me right now” feuds, we got creative. Our home office/ former bedroom happened to have a walkin closet, so we removed the closet racks, added a fresh coat of paint, hung a vintage chandelier, added a small desk, and voila… instant writing room. Tip: Add curtains and a mirror to a small space to give the illusion of a window. It’s amazing how it can trick your mind to make the space feel more open. My writing room, or “cave” as I call it, is the smallest room in the house but I had the most fun decorating it, possibly because it’s wholly mine! And there is something empowering about that. I filled it with all the things that inspire me: fanmail, art, books, photographs, cozy blankets, and diffusers. A new addition that I pull strength from is my brag wall. It’s full of all the books I’ve published since taking the leap to follow my dreams, and is so helpful to look at on days that are difficult. Some people may not be cut out for working 24/7 with their partners, but it works for us and has even brought us closer. Renovating our home to make it a functional space for our businesses was liberating. We learned a great deal about each other including that we share very similar tastes. Learning to compromise when we didn’t agree was worth getting to spend all day with the person I love most in the world. Plus, I get to work in my PJs and my only commute is to the kitchen for more coffee!

Invite Possibility Whether you’re a full throttle home hustler or just dipping your toe in, the idea of creating an inviting home office environment is easier than you think.

1

Size Doesn’t Matter Don’t be fooled into thinking you need four walls and a door to have a “real” office. There are as many different types of offices as there are types of jobs. You just need to create a space that works for you. List out three essentials you need to function at your best and start there. Find a space where it’s easy for you to create; whether it be a breakfast bar, a corner in your garage, or a closet. Carve out a niche that works for you.

2

Operate with Abundance New workout clothes make you want to go to the gym, right? Take that same concept to your home workspace to keep yourself operational. Treat yourself to something that is both necessary for you to succeed and that makes you excited to get working. It could be a new notebook, a helpful app, or an idea board…anything that keeps the motivating spark of creativity alive.

3

Cultivate Variety Take inspiration from the comfort of your home. After all it’s full of the things that make you “you.” Schedule your surroundings into your day to reap the benefits of working from home. • Check your emails from your couch while sipping coffee. • Take your lunch break on your porch and recharge. • Hold conference calls from your treadmill. • Revitalize in your kitchen, a break room chock full of your favorites. • Relax while you read research material in bed.

Above all, remember: You are the empress of your universe and success is on the horizon. Ease into your infinite possibilities from the comfort of home.

continued on next page

The E A S E I S S U E

|

59


It’s not often we find ourselves with the opportunity to hit the reset button on life. Sometimes you find that no matter how much you’ve planned, things don’t turn out how you hoped. Starting over is scary, but with it comes endless possibility. I’m grateful for all the things that have shaped my life and made it possible for me to find an enjoyable balance between love, life, and work.

Christina Benjamin is the award-winning author of The Geneva Project series and other great books. She spends her days weaving worlds from words to inspire, uplift, and liberate the soul. Embracing imagination and bringing magic to the ordinary is her specialty. She strives to lace strength, love and courage into every aspect of her life and remind us that our stories are never finished. Follow her story here. Photos by Jen Wenzel

The PERPETUAL YOU


White Space corresponds to Benjamin Moore 968

Work / Life corresponds to Benjamin Moore CSP-515

Harmony corresponds to Benjamin Moore AC-19

N E U T R A L M E E T S C R E AT I V I T Y

Luxury Idea corresponds to Benjamin Moore CSP-1005

In a creative space, surrounding yourself with a neutral color palette is a way to invite groundbreaking ideas and encourage creative acts. The “blank space� of a wall painted in a neutral gray or white can symbolize openness and possibility of thinking big and plodding away at your dreams. When accessorizing a mostly neutral room, such as a home office, choose textural pieces with saturated finishes.

Hand Hewn

Made by Hand corresponds to Benjamin Moore 1078

Open shelving provides storage while maintaining an open, airy feeling. Whether vintage or modern, look for handcrafted shelving in a dark color to offset your neutral palette. You can match this look on floors, other shelving, and window trim, too.

Metal Works Accessories in various metallic finishes are wildly popular and widely available. By placing these pieces among the books, file folders, and other office necessities, your eye has something pretty to look at when you need a mental break.

The E A S E IS S U E

|

61


1

2

3

The PERPETUAL YOU


DW E L L

Product Placement If you’re a shop owner or small batch maker who would like to be featured in one of our issues, fill out our product collab form.

Shop the Look Product inspiration from our Featured Space.

Organize. Prioritize. Stylize! Express yourself through your choice of an organization system; match your needs to the designs you love. An old typewriter can be a decoration OR a functional piece of equipment. Hang a print or write out your favorite word with chunky letters, and voila!—you’re working in style. Click on the title of each product below to shop similar looks to those from our featured Dwell space.

1 | Jumbo Size Scrabble Tile by The Pink Toolbox ($8)

2 | Wire Mail Wall Basket by Magnolia Market ($28)

3 | Querkywriter

by QuerkyToys ($299)

The E A S E I SS U E

|

63


– GURM U K H K H ALSA

The PERPETUAL YOU


to align your life story with your ever-evolving sense of adventure

The E A S E I S S U E

|

65


A R T W O R K by @ N A D I A H O R N

The PERPETUAL YOU


THREE QUESTIONS

with What’s one practice in your daily life that brings you Ease? Meditation. Taking 5-15 minutes twice a day allows me to reconnect with my highest self, listen to my intuition, quiet my mind, and create the space I need to lead from my highest value to others.

Tara

What’s one aspect of your physical space that brings you or reminds you of Possibility? My office. It’s decorated with inspiring trinkets and pictures. The top of my bookshelf serves as an alter with my crystals, an oil diffuser, plants, and a little buddha. I like decluttered and streamlined spaces that allow for my creativity and energy to flow. It’s the only space in the house that feels truly mine.

For you, what is the relationship of Possibility to Ease? When I explore possibility, I create a business from a place of ease and flow. I get to choose the most important word in the English language: AND. I can build a conscious, sustainable business AND experience ease.

The E A S E I S S U E

|

67


Hello, Possibility S AY I N G G O O D B Y E T O T H E ENTREPRENEURSHIP PENDULUM with TA R A N E W M A N

Words by Lee Lee Thompson Photos by Amanda Luisa Photography The PERPETUAL YOU


The E A S E I S S U E

|

69


There is a reality in which Mondays are a favorite day, a world where challenges are welcome because they bring possibility. A land where the word ‘priority’ is singular and entrepreneurs are at ease in their choices, where the only thing that keeps a woman up at night is considering her options and reviewing trade-offs. This is the land of entrepreneurship without the hustle, and this is where leadership coach Tara Newman thrives.

I

“met” Tara Newman, business coach and founder of the Bold Leadership Lab, online. Though I can’t remember exactly which platform we found each other on, her message continues to ring clear in my head: “You don’t have to hustle and grind to be a success,” she had posted. In a world where hashtags and hustlers are getting all mixed up, this viewpoint was an instant breath of fresh air. Not only that, but it’s the truth: we don’t have to hustle to be successful. We don’t need wine to wind down. We can be collaborative rather than competitive. We can find ease among challenges and growth strides. And we can like Mondays just as much as we like Fridays.

continued on page 72

The PERPETUAL YOU


Thank You! Gratitude + Friendship to Organic Krush in Woodbury, NY for letting us snap these photos in their lovely space.

The E A S E I S S U E

|

71


Becoming an entrepreneur may seem like a crazy response; as Tara herself puts it, “Who starts a business to heal from burnout?” However, this was the way Tara knew she could honor both her ambition and her health. She knew that being in business for herself would mean making her own decisions, setting her own limits, and allowing motivation rather than competition to fuel her.

BOUNDARIES NOT BALANCE.

PERFORMANCE NOT PERFECTION. Tara’s business, like mine and like many of yours, is a business of heart. Heart recognizes our needs, along with the needs of those we serve. Heart is a grounding, safe place, where rest and possibility are as important as results and performance. The danger, though, is getting caught up in whether we’re doing enough—whether we’re changing the world enough. Even asking that question means we’ve likely landed on the pendulum of entrepreneurship: from hustle to burnout, and back again. As an incredibly competitive person, Tara understands this mindset completely. After experiencing a lackluster high school education, where “nothing clicked; nothing motivated me to do well,” Tara swung completely to the side of hustle, focusing intently on classes and internships. Fueled by a newfound “desire to overachieve,” Tara graduated college at 21 already feeling burned out. For the next 18 years, she climbed the corporate ladder, thriving on paper but barely surviving the “push/pull” reality of business. Along the way, she had two children and acquired a diagnosis of Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome, and went to work barely healed from pneumonia. After seeing a naturopath, who told her that she need to make a life change or suffer from the long-term effects of burnout, Tara realized it was time to do something different.

The PERPETUAL YOU

Knowing all of that, of course, doesn’t make entrepreneurship easy. Tara learned very quickly that being an entrepreneur, a mom, and wife would mean trade-offs and conscious decision making. You can “have it all” says Tara’s website tagline, but you can’t “do it all.” To avoid the pendulum swinging from hustling to burnout, Tara relies on structure and boundaries.


When you view the world through the lens of trade-offs, every yes means saying no to something else. Tara and her husband decided to pull back on their kids’ extracurricular activities and they shortened their friend circle; however, they both continued to pursue exercise routines that were meaningful to them. In fact, they chose to spend money on a new treadmill rather than fix their front door—a decision that meant Tara could work at home and not stop working out. Another decision they made was to hire someone who could help with homework and do other chores so that Tara could spend quality time with her kids when she’s done working. While a trade-off where budgeting is concerned, this decision means Tara can engage with her children rather than micromanage their activities and can focus on them rather than being consumed with domestic tasks after work.

continued on next page

The E A S E I S S U E

|

73


On a larger scale, Tara has focused on raising children who are independent, self-sufficient, and comfortable with the structures and boundaries required to keep things running smoothly, both in her work and at home. She loves having a home office because it gives her a chance to be a daily inspiration to her kids, but it “requires serious boundaries,” says Tara. “My children are very much a part of my team.”

SUCCESS NOT STEREOTYPES. So why do women feel the need to hustle? Tara puts it this way: “Women go into business because they want joy, freedom, and ease but they have no idea how

The PERPETUAL YOU

to make money.” The absence of immediate success can then lead to an over-dependence on masculine energy, which leads to “the most accepted addiction there is – workaholism,” says Tara. We’re conditioned to work hard and keep going despite all costs, making burnout inevitable. Tara has worked with everyone from entrepreneurs in their 20’s to 60-something global executives; no matter the background, the person desires financial success. There’s nothing wrong with this desire. Says Tara, “If you want to become an entrepreneur, you want to make money.” Where we get in trouble is when we define success solely by financial terms, and we ignore our bodies and minds to get there.


Golden Advice For Tara, success naturally includes a mindset of Ease. It sounds like a paradox, but it’s true: “you can do hard things with Ease,” says Tara. There will always be challenges and often be triggers, but we can learn from these things. We can do things differently, ask for help when we need it, and take action only when we’re absolutely certain. This is where a coach comes in handy—to work through the steps from wanting to perform better and be successful but not falling into the stereotype of the burnedout entrepreneur. Tara helps her clients work through the fear, self-doubt, and uncertainty that often comes when taking your business from one financial status to another by reminding them that a balance of energy is needed, and that ease is a mindset that “everybody can choose.”

E A S E N O T E A S Y- L I V I N G . Living a life with ease is nowhere near easy living. Choosing ease is a matter of reprogramming your mind to welcome and accept abundance and to lean into (or past) fear that has no basis in reality. As a member of Tara’s Facebook community, I’ve witnessed her not just discuss these mindsets but actually do the work ease-full living requires. An outsider looking in might not understand that Tara talking about CrossFit in one post and a planned six weeks of vacation in the next post is actually empowered, and individual, leadership. But it is. Tara’s prescription for herself when she started her company was

I find Tara’s relaxed and personal style when it comes to business advice extremely motivating. Here are some of my favorite words of wisdom, culled from her social media posts and email blasts.

1

Self-Reflect. ͞When we practice non-attachment to the outcome of our goals is when we can experience true freedom. What is/isn’t working? What do I want more/less of? Feel into the answers to these questions. Be proud of what's working. Be responsible for what's not working. Boldly declare what you want more of.

2

Surrender. Surrender is a conscious action to release something that is no longer working or is frustrating us; to give in and let go of a strategy that hasn't yielded a result; to admit we don't have all the answers or can't do it ourselves. Release the need for achievement, comfort, and short-term revenue. Choose long-term, sustainable growth.

3

Stretch. Achieving your goals will require you to stretch beyond where you are today. You’re going to need support, organization, self-management, and personal development. In other words, LEADERSHIP. Making strategic investments will ensure you have everything you need to step into your success. It will also ultimately save you time, money, and energy.

4

Soulify. As leaders, our greatest business tool is our intuition and that requires stillness and silence to cultivate. It's an intentional practice that requires focus. Constantly consuming content fuels the noise and drowns out your intuition. Think for yourself. Transcend norms. Embrace what makes you different. Speak YOUR truth. Be bold. Stand out. LEAD.

continued on next page

The E A S E IS S U E

|

75


to stop working hard just to work hard and to put her health first. “The person who needed me most was me,” she says. Gone are her days of slacking off or overachieving. Now, she builds structure into her schedule so that health CAN be a priority; she maintains boundaries in order to have healthy relationships with her children and husband; and she coaches other women (and enlightened men!) to balance their masculine and feminine energies in order to realize long-lasting success, both financially and emotionally. Nowhere in this formula is there room for the herd mindset that’s causing many of us to work ourselves to the bone, and to latch on to a word such as ‘hustle’

The PERPETUAL YOU

that—in my opinion—cannot be reconciled with the idea of Ease. If, like Tara (and me), you started your business because you wanted to improve your own life as much as you wanted to improve the lives of others, what you’re searching for is Possibility—a paradox, perhaps, but the polar opposite of burnout nonetheless.

Lee Lee Thompson is the Cofounder and Managing Editor at TPY. She has had the privilege to interview 23 amazing women who inspire others to choose, embrace, unleash, & celebrate the best parts of themselves–their Perpetual selves. Photos by Amanda Luisa Photography


Connect with Tara Online: TaraNewmanCoaching.com On

:

On

 : @taranewmancoaching

@thetaranewman

The E A S E IS S U E

|

77


It’s safe for me to succeed without hustling and grinding. – TARA N E W M AN

The PERPETUAL YOU


to align your innermost thoughts with your ever-evolving perspective

The E A S E I S S U E

|

79


A R T W O R K by @ N A D I A H O R N

The PERPETUAL YOU


The Delphinium flower is a symbol of infinite possibility, and believing that anything is possible. Stretch your current beliefs and keep reaching for the stars, one baby step at a time.

I L L U S T R AT I O N BY @ A S H L E Y B U N T E N D E S I G N

Delphinium


Let it Be S T O P L I S T E N I N G , S TA R T B E L I E V I N G with Meghan Kacmarcik

The PERPETUAL YOU


LIVE

Ready to let go of the rules? Release the shoulds and embrace possibility. Let your business (and your body) be what it will be.

W

e live in a world that is heavy with “should.” We are told when we should have success. When we should be settling and starting a family. Where we should be living if we want to have access to good schools and trendy restaurants. How we should be eating, exercising or what diet we should be on now. What careers we should go into if we want to be successful. What we should do to ensure that we are the most productive, fulfilled, happiest people that we can be. You can find messages of what you should be doing nearly anywhere you look – on magazine stands in the checkout line, links shared by your friends on Facebook, the morning news, even not-so-subtle hints that can be taken from conversations with our friends and family. Everywhere you look, you can find “advice” about how you should be living your life. If you’re an entrepreneur, these messages can be confusing at best and toxic at worst. With a quick search online, you can find tens of thousands of success stories: how they got there, what they did differently, their daily routines and how they carefully crafted their business. At the start of a business venture or career, these messages can be enticing but they can also make it hard to step back and think about what works for you, your life, and your business.

I, like so many in the #girlboss world, am a planner. I like to have a clear idea of how life is going to go with concrete whens and hows and wheres. Life, though, doesn’t listen to plans, and often doesn’t pay attention to details. Life has surprises—ones that we can’t see coming, no matter how hard we plan. Without a plan, the world says, we’re flailing. That same sentiment can be used to describe our relationships with our bodies. The world has as many ideas about what we should do with our bodies as it does about how we should lead our businesses. From what we should eat to when and how we should exercise, the world thinks we should have a plan. One of the things I learned in my recovery from an eating disorder, is that letting go of that plan for a “perfect” body felt a whole lot like flailing. Women have been indoctrinated with the philosophy that we should always be striving for our “best” bodies, that we should always be ruthless in pursuing “health.” We are told that if we are not getting better/ healthier, then we are not doing it right. Diets are appealing because they dictate a schedule, and fill that need for a plan. On a diet, there are clear wrongs and rights.

continued on next page

The E A S E I SS U E

|

83


We will never have to be other than who we are in order to be successful. – ALICE WALKER

Growing up surrounded by women, I thought that dieting is what women did when they got older. It just seemed like part of becoming a woman. Truthfully, it did feel easier to have rules to follow, to make a list and count calories and keep track of minutes at the gym. Following my intuition and sense of curiosity turned out to be much, much harder. Still, letting go of all the rules felt radical. To stop scrutinizing ingredient lists or refusing to eat anything with more than X calories; to listen to my body rather than force myself to work out every day. Living without a plan was liberating, and terrifying. I had never been taught about my intuition. I was only encouraged to be curious to a point. Giving up rules and guidelines and calorie counts launched me far outside my comfort zone and, frankly, felt a lot like flailing. Was I letting go of too much? Was I letting go of the person I was? Was I able to give up control over my body? I was paralyzed by fear—until I realized: I wasn’t letting myself go, I was letting myself be.

Once I dropped the rules and the shoulds, I could approach food and exercise with fun and joy rather than anxiety and fear; in turn, I could approach other parts of my life with joy instead of fear. Once I let go of what the “experts” said, I discovered what worked for ME, in MY life. Imagine approaching every aspect of our lives with joy and curiosity rather than anxiety. Imagine listening to our intuition not only about our bodies, but in relation to our businesses and careers and families and relationships too. Imagine opening up to endless possibilities and embracing an outlook of “come what may.” When we decide that it’s okay to listen to that voice of authenticity, that still small voice we can all hear if we choose to listen, we will realize the truth of possibility. We are not letting ourselves or our business endeavors go; we are letting them be.

Meghan is a blogger, body positivity advocate, eating disorder survivor and Registered Dietitian. You can follow along on her adventures on Instagram @sundaesforthesoul or read her blog at sundaesforthesoul.com. Photos by Becca Olcott

The PERPETUAL YOU


Coming Soon!

The Perpetual You PRINT magazine is coming to a store (or mailbox!) near you. View our media kit online at: bit.ly/TPYpartners, or sign up for an individual subscription at bit.ly/TPYandyou. The E A S E I S S U E

|

85


LIVE

Dare to Be YOU R E P L A C I N G C O M PA R I S O N W I T H V I S I O N , C O N N E C T I O N , A N D I N S P I R AT I O N with Katie Rose Lynch

The PERPETUAL YOU


When we embrace connection, we invite ease into our life and our business. Collaboration allows us the opportunity to learn from others, form friendships, strengthen our community, and most importantly feel less alone.

I

have a confession to make. When I considered what it would be like to be my own boss, I often got swept away into daydreams of luxurious days working from home, filled with yoga, long walks, meditation, and naps. (Anyone else see what was missing there? Oh yeah, the working part!) During this time, I devoured every book, podcast, article, blog post and social media account curated by powerful and exciting female entrepreneurs I could get my hands on. Each one of them seemed to have the “ideal” life. Making money doing things they loved, running family and homes flawlessly and effortlessly, and looking fabulous doing it. I fully saturated into their world. I wanted to be these women and do all the things they were doing. I was so inspired and so motivated, I decided nothing was going to get in my way of becoming my own boss. Except me. Though this consumption of lady-bossness (yes that IS a word) was amazing in so many ways, it became one of the primary ways I struggled in my journey as an entrepreneur. Spending all this time paying attention to how other people were running their businesses resulted in me becoming less and less clear about my own vision. The more I consumed the worse I felt. I was caught in the “comparison trap.” Whether you are an entrepreneur or not, my guess is you have at one time or another fallen victim to the comparison trap. Ever found yourself drowning in envy of all the shiny beautiful things, homes, and

continued on next page

The E A S E I S S U E

|

87


meals on Pinterest? Comparison trap. Ever felt super inadequate about yourself, your looks, your family, your relationship or your life after ending up in a Facebook scrolling rabbit hole? Comparison trap. At one time or another, we all find ourselves caught in this trap. Also, we each have the ability to turn these experiences into powerful connections that will benefit our lives and our businesses.

R E CO N N E C T TO YO U R V I S I O N Comparing ourselves to others, quite frankly, feels awful and can even lead us to losing focus and motivation in our own lives. We don’t feel very good about ourselves when we are thinking about everything someone else has that we don’t have. When we do this, we are giving our precious resources away, including time and energy. What would it be like to reallocate some of this time to your own work? What could you accomplish with this time and energy? When you begin to compare

The PERPETUAL YOU

yourself to someone you admire, answer with the reminder to “keep your eyes on your own paper.” When you catch yourself giving away the resource of your time to someone else, slow down and turn your energy inward. Focus on a task of your own, whether big or small. I spent an incredible amount of time cruising other therapists websites and comparing my private practice to theirs. Not only did this lead to a lot of negative self-talk, I also gave away so much time to this activity: time I could have spent on my own business. Once I recognized this, I made the choice to focus on my own work, which resulted in a heck of a lot more productivity AND creativity.

C U R AT E A N E W C O N N E C T I O N Behind every perfectly curated Instagram feed is a pile of unwashed laundry, stained clothes, late bills, arguments with partners, and lots of selfdoubt. We all know the truth: the online world is


completely curated. People don’t often make a habit out of filling their Facebook or Instagram feed with the less sexy parts of their life, yet we all have some very unsexy things going on behind the scenes. I find this very comforting. Next time you feel envious of another woman online, take a moment to think about what you may have in common. Are you both mothers or business owners? Can you imagine what types of daily struggles or frustrations you both have? Take it one step further and send her a message or leave her a comment or question about something you can both connect on. You never know where this small connection may lead. Since opening my private practice, I have made it a point to reach out and offer to have coffee dates with as many therapists in private practice in my area as possible. At first, I was so intimidated by these women because of assumptions I had made, based on their online presence. To my surprise, I learned that—in real life—we have the same worries, fears, and entrepreneurial ups and downs.

I G N I T E Y O U R I N S P I R AT I O N Speaking of the online world, can we talk about website envy? If you are a business owner, entrepreneur, lady boss, or creative, chances are you either have or are planning to have a website. Have you ever found yourself drooling over that perfect website: the one with the perfect design, colors, fonts, and copy? All this beauty can be heartwarming, but also has the potential to lead to serious bouts of envy and doubt. You can allow the beauty of someone else’s website to paralyze you, or you can choose to be inspired. Pay attention to what stands out. What colors inspire you? What feelings does the site evoke in you? What do you notice about the vibe? Paying attention to the things that draw you in allows for greater understanding of yourself, which you can turn into inspiration to influence your own brand. This was incredibly helpful for me when I was going through my own website redesign process. I paid close attention to how other people’s websites made me feel when I visited them so that, when working on designing my own site, I had a much clearer understanding of how I wanted the visitors to my site to feel and what design I needed in order to create this experience.

There are so many amazing women, doing amazing things (you are one of them!). Having each other to rely on for support, knowledge, and experience is so valuable. Instead of coming from a place of comparison, what if we made the conscious decision to come from a place of connection? What would be possible then?

Katie Lynch, LICSW is a psychotherapist dedicated to helping women and couples live more mindfully and love more purposefully. You can connect with her at presentheartcounseling.com. Photos by Lindsay Stanford

The E A S E I S S U E

|

89


The PERPETUAL YOU


APRIL MANTRA

Mantra by Krystal Krystal Brandt, Authenticity Coach, is a soulful, sensual siren who lovingly and powerfully guides high-achieving women back to their innermost desires by re-introducing them to their own intuitive whispers of wisdom. Connect with her via krystalbrandt.com.

The E A S E IS S U E

|

91


CHOOSE

Magic THE INSPIRED ENTREPRENEUR’S GUIDE TO SUCCESS

The PERPETUAL YOU


Words by Calee Lucht Photos by Lindsey Baker The E A S E I SS U E

|

93


LIVE

In a sea of lists and musts and shoulds, sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is take a moment to reconnect to your crazy, beautiful, multidimensional vision—and listen to your magic.

A

s a new solopreneur, I am so aware of the zillions of "shoulds" in front of me. They land in my inbox and newsfeeds multiple times a day. I should post to five different social media outlets three times a day.

Since much of the information I consume is delivered via super-smart (and snoopy) algorithms, I keep seeing more and more fantastic advice from more and more successful entrepreneurs. So much and so many, that I sometimes wonder if I’m even relevant, or if the “mindful entrepreneur” market is already saturated.

I should take these six webinars to learn proven, successful tips on how to be proven and successful.

There’s this tiny, fearful little voice whispering, There are just so many of us.

I should have a cute, well-lit, preferably white desk space.

Honestly? All this information is having precisely the wrong effect on me: rather than feeling inspired and energized, I… don’t. It’s not that the advice I’m receiving isn’t worthwhile, but there’s just too much.

I should wear stilettos in bright colors. I should hustle and learn and work harder and smarter while being grateful and graceful and centered. All by noon, of course!

The PERPETUAL YOU

When there’s too much, my circuit breakers go off. I feel defeated before I’ve even begun. There’s no more space for magic. And I am all about the magic. If we’re drowning in this vast sea of tips, tricks, and hacks, how will we allow our own magic to emerge?


H O N O R YO U R A L C H E M Y If you ever watched the television show “Sex and the City,” you might recall Carrie Bradshaw writing, “Why are we ‘shoulding’ all over ourselves?” It’s worth thinking about. Why are we listening to everyone else telling us what we should do instead of listening to our own hearts and minds? What about what we want to do? I want to work with glorious explorers to help them rediscover their magic. To do that effectively, I must serve in a way that's aligned for my clients and for myself. I’ve learned that in order to thrive and leave space for magic to emerge, I have to be very strategic, focused, and choosy about what I take on. And I have to choose myself. All. The. Time. Not just choose, but honor. I must honor my desires, my vision, my inspiration, my yearning, my gifts, my fears, my foibles, my past, my power, my soul. I believe that this unique alchemy of elements, incarnated as me, is my magic, just as your own unique combination is your magic. And I believe that it is you being every ounce of you that you can be that transforms the world.

and deflated, I go back to my mission and reconnect with how I want to feel today. Right now. This afternoon. In the next hour. Inspired by this feeling, the action I take is so much more expansive! For me, the key is reconnecting to my mission every day, multiple times a day. Everything I now choose to do, I match to my mission—and if it doesn't match my particular magic, I don't do it. What a relief.

R E M E M B E R YO U R W H Y C L A R I F Y YO U R M I S S I O N I don’t know about you, but a few of the reasons I dove into this whole entrepreneur thing were so I could intentionally choose more of what I love to do, bring my whole, multidimensional self to the table, and give myself and my clients opportunities to explore—all while having fun. To help me remember these intentions, I developed a mission—a primal vision that pulls me along and loves me as much as I love it. I designed my mission to include how I want to feel, not just what I want to accomplish: not just to serve, but to thrive. So, when I see a list of things I should do and start to feel scattered

Letting go of the great ideas that just aren’t right for me at that moment is easier when I’m connected to my vision. I understand that what might work like magic for someone else just doesn’t feel authentic for me. The challenge? I sometimes forget all this. Every single word. I forget because we’re trained to believe what we see, so we’re uncomfortable believing in what we can’t see—our magic. I forget because we live in a funny little world where we’ve forgotten that we are not just imitations of each other, but the most improbable cosmic miracles. I forget because it’s so easy to keep writing checklist after checklist of all the things I should do.

continued on next page

The E A S E I S S U E

|

95


Breaking Up with Should You know it’s time. You and Should just aren’t on the same page anymore. The kindest thing would be to let each other go. Here’s a script to help you get through the conversation:

Dear Should, I want to let you know that I’m moving on. I’m grateful for our time together; you’ve pushed me and have given me many opportunities. But, I’m growing. I’m ready to let go, open myself to more aligned opportunities, chase my spark, and honor the joy of my vision. It feels quite magical! You’ll always be part of my life, and I’m sure we’ll still talk from time to time. I want you to know that this is not a rejection, but an invitation for you to partner with someone who really wants what you have. I’m doing the same. With love, Me

The PERPETUAL YOU

“Should” stifles magic like nothing else, and I was made for dancing barefoot. I’d rather believe in myself and be a miracle. Let’s lovingly break up with “should” and start flirting with “Oh, yeah, that sounds like fun!”

C U LT I VAT E Y O U R I N S P I R AT I O N Remember that you are doing nothing less than cocreating an entirely new universe. That takes wild, broken-open vision! That’s fun! If we’re willing our way through to-do lists all the time, we’re just trying to control the process and there’s less space for inspiration to emerge. What if, instead, we invite our to-dos to dance? Less flowchart, more flow. Instead of a checklist, how about starting each day with a playlist? “Tonight, I’d like to play with my new paintbrushes, so today I will accomplish xyz.” That feels so much more motivating than, “Learn another plugin, pretend to figure out my taxes, and write a new blog post.” Maybe you want time to plant green beans with your kids, or the money to buy a boat, or to carve out two hours of absolutely nothing.


Instead of checking in with your to-do list, ask: What feels fun or productive right this minute? Maybe your four-year old just revealed a secret of the universe in the way that only four year olds can, and that lit up an idea for a blog post. Reconnecting to the pleasure of our mission, to why we’re doing these xyz tasks in the first place, can elevate our work and remind us of our magic.

U S E YO U R WO R D S One of the most important words we can learn is simply, “no.” “No. No, thank you. Nope. No.” We’re conditioned to say “yes,” and the instinct seems generous…until we’re whittled down to nothing, over-extended, resentful, and hiding under the covers. I’m my most generous, playful, and creative self when I have given myself plenty of what I want and need. Turns out, we are allowed to say “yes” to ourselves every bit as often as we say “yes” to others—sometimes, that sounds like “no.” We are permitted time to replenish and play. We get to set our boundaries, and hold them firmly and lovingly. We alone can grant ourselves these things—we don’t need permission from anyone else. Instead of feeling guilty that you’re saying no to another lunch date today, choose to feel empowered that you are honoring your vision and the work you’re willing to put in to achieve it. That way, when the lunch date does happen, you’ll have more to celebrate.

Then, a wonderful mentor taught me the power of celebration. Celebrating big wins, little victories, and everything in between. Celebrating in small, understated ways and big, showy ways. Celebrating everything that takes me closer to my magic. Celebrating ourselves is an empowering, loving way to show gratitude. In celebration, we honor our coconspirators and co-creators, as well as ourselves. We say to the universe, “Wow, that was fantastic! We did it! Thank you!” Gratitude, then, becomes a part of the process, part of the ritual, part of the pleasure—which generates even more magic. What a wonderful feedback loop.

C E L E B R AT E Y O U R S U C C E S S For a long time, when I accomplished something, I secretly thought I should have accomplished it already, and felt ashamed that I hadn’t. Instead of celebrating my accomplishment, I swept it aside as something I should have been doing all along. Then I set the bar higher, where I also felt I should have been all along. Not exactly a recipe for motivation.

Next time you’re looking at a list full of should, take a step back. Summon that beautiful mission that will bring your dream to crazy, gorgeous, multidimensional life. How do you want to feel today? How do you want to play?

continued on next page

The E A S E I S S U E

|

97


Magic Recap Ready to make room for magic? Here’s a quick recap of my process to releasing should + living in possibility instead. •

Feel the joy of your mission

Find pleasure in ritual

Remember your own particular brand of magic

Create a “playlist” rather than a checklist

Take inspired action

Say “no”

Say “no” again, without guilt

Say “yes” to yourself

Celebrate!

You get to choose. You get to take inspired action, say “Yes!” and “No!” and “Heck, yeah!” You get to be the magic that you are. There are just so many of us. Yes, there are! There are more and more of us awakening to the beauty of everything that we are and all that we’re not. So many of us with heart, integrity, passion, quirkiness, silliness, deep wisdom, authenticity, courage, and the desire to co-create a spectacular world. So many of us who have magic to share. So many of us worth celebrating.

Calee Lucht helps change-seekers chase the spark of transformation. Weaving photography, art, and personal myth, she taps into your magic to translate your story into a custom album: your talisman and touchstone. Find her at CaleeLucht.com. Photos by Lindsey Baker

The PERPETUAL YOU


'La Luna and Our Ocean': an extension of me by Taylor Elizabeth the moon illuminates my mind like a sun beam on a flower. dreaming comes natural to those with desire like La Luna, releasing her emotions and thoughts to the ocean, an extension of me, her silhouette-my soul; an affirmation of all the things I believe, I control a motivation in me to be everything I can be sitting under the fullness of the moon soaking her energy. "exploit your energy" she says to me, between our cosmic connectioncrespescular sagacitydreaming comes natural, "you can be anything you want to be."

SEASCAPE SERIES, NO.1 O I L O N C A N VA S , 1 2 " X 1 2 " AVA I L A B L E F O R P U R C H A S E AT: W W W.T- E L I Z A B E T H .C O M

The E A S E I S S U E

|

99


A Sister Photography Team Traversing New England & Beyond! walkerstudiosllc.com

W

I L

D A

co.

L

L

All Wild collection of ar t prints and textiles Fashion/lifestyle/boudoir photographer who travels worldwide

per fect as home decor in any space.

lindsaystanford.com

allwild.co

The PERPETUAL YOU


Photography & Illustration

The Magic Star ts Here

mandaluisa.com

pearlweddingsandevents.com

How will you transform? Discover your personal my th.

Photographer & Master memor y-keepr

caleelucht.com

markielynne.com

The E A S E I SS U E

|

101


@GRACEFULLYHANDMADE

@KIKIANDPOOKYLTD

@THEKATIEROSELYNCH

@KATESTEPHENJEWELRY

@LEELEEINP

@UXPIONEER

@MLEVEYPABST

@WILDWOODMODERN

@LEIGHVINCOLA

W O M E N AT W O R K

The workspaces of creative women and fempreneurs are as myriad as their businesses and brands. By showcasing them this month, we celebrate the ease that shows up when your desk (or lack thereof) is tailored to your working needs.

Posting a #workspace photo? Tag us @theperpetualyou to be featured on our feed!


– CARA ALW IL L L E Y BA

The E A S E I S SU E

|

103


Choose Possibility

Ease through Possibility  

April 2017