Senior Predictions

Rye Kianpour After studying medicine in England and dissecting many cadavers, Rye collects so many body parts that they start their own museum and spin-off of “Night at the Museum.”

Sally King After taking a leap of faith and deciding to study chemistry, Sally learned the art of making illegal substances, becoming more famous than El Chapo.

Rathi Kolappa will grow one more inch, making her a whopping 5-foot-1.

Akash Kumar All of AKa$hmoney’s money goes to his head, setting him off into a never-ending spiral of craving more. He creates the next Pyramid scheme, eventually causing a stock market collapse and global recession worse than the one caused by Sam BankmanFried.

Elijah Kurian Elijah, exploiting the social influence of George Kurian, bribes Congress to pass a law mandating that everyone gets a government-assigned goth girlfriend.

Aeron Lo After Aeron’s unhealthy obsession with both Heartstopper and Young Royals, they become a Hollywood director, collaborating with Omar Rudberg to create a queer romcom empire.

Syon Mallempati Syon grows up to be a delegate who accidentally starts a war between America and Canada over prices of eggs.

Nate Martin After a tough first year at Syracuse, Nate returns to the motherland and is found living with a pack of kangaroos.

Peyton Meinhardt Peyton’s horse cookie business blows up unexpectedly during Peyton’s senior year of college, causing her to buy her own ranch and start a horse empire. The only catch – her cookies did not become famous with the horses, but rather as a new nutritious breakfast item for body-

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 4 READ builders (which Robert endorses).

Natasha Moretti After 25 years of frantic searching, Natasha was finally found frozen under an ice rink.

Audrey Nelson Audrey’s obsession with books continues and she becomes Sam’s #1 fanfiction reader. She is so obsessed with it, that she writes fanfiction about Sam’s fanfiction, causing her AO3 account to become more famous than Sam’s.