Shirt happens

Next month, Mary Ellen and I will take our first vacation out of the country since the start of COVID.

We’re very excited about this cruise.

I’m already shopping, hoping to update my wardrobe — a word I just realized I have never used for my clothing. Mary Ellen has a wardrobe; I have two drawers and a closet.

I had to buy a dress shirt for one of the special dinners on the ship. I don’t like to wear a white shirt, preferring one with a bit of color, but Mary Ellen was adamant that I go traditional. I purchased an additional shirt for the more casual nights.

After a short stop at Kohl’s, I came home with the two shirts. I opened the package and tried the first one on. It fit perfectly. My wife was in the room watching me. She had a smirk on her face.

“You have a stain on your shirt already,” she said.

“That’s impossible. I just put it on,” I said.

“They must really know their customers at Kohl’s,” she said.

“What do you mean?” I asked her.

“They pre-stained it for you,” she said to me.

Yes, right next to the third button were brown blotches, nothing I was familiar with, despite my extensive experience with the telltale signs left by every condiment I have ever slathered on a fast-food sandwich.

“I guess I can’t wear that to dinner,” I said, about to unpack my second option.

“Why not?” she asked. “It’s gonna look like that anyway, right after you finish your appetizer.”

I reached into the shopping bag and dug out the blue button down. I carefully removed all the pins from the folded shirt before I put it on. I thought it looked great and said to Mary Ellen, “As long as I’ve got it on, let’s go out for a nice dinner.”

“You can’t wear that shirt, either,” said Mary Ellen.

“Why not?” I asked.

“It has a smudge under the second button,” she said.

Sure enough, once again I had purchased a brand new piece of apparel that had somehow anticipated its unavoidable destiny and went ahead and self-stained.

“Wait a second, Mary Ellen. I’ll wear a tie. That will cover it,” I said.

“Super idea. Too bad every tie in your closet has ketchup on it,” she said.

“Okay, I’ll button my sport coat. That will cover the mark on the tie,” I said.

Mary Ellen walked over to the closet and pulled out the one sport coat I still wear.

She looked at it carefully and shook her head.

“This is not going to work. It has mustard on the lapel. Do you own a raincoat?” she asked.

After we returned home from dinner, I washed both shirts and successfully removed the original soiled areas, but the shirts were destined on the trip to be become a kaleidoscope of tasty tidbits from our buffets.

Recently, we were going over final plans for the vacation. I asked Mary Ellen questions about the reputation of the cruise line we were using.

“Do you really think I will like the food, Mary Ellen?” I began.

“Oh, yes. For you, Dick, it will be spot on,” she said.

AGING & WELLNESS RESOURCES

AGING CONNECTIONS

Serving Northern IN & Southwest MI

A free online directory for aging & wellness resources. Our members offer a wide variety of services and information for your specific needs. www.agingconnections.org

Hover over Chapters on the navigation bar, then select your area and click directory. Aging Connections is a 501(c)(3) Nonprofit Organization

ALZHEIMERS/MEMORY CARE

NORTH WOODS VILLAGE

AT EDISON LAKES

1409 E. Day Road, Mishawaka, IN 46545 (574) 247-1866 www.northwoodsmemorycare.com

See Our Ad In This Issue

Day Center

SAINT JOSEPH PACE

250 East Day Rd., Mishawaka, IN 46545 (574) 247-8700 saintjosephPACE@trinity-health.org

Helping seniors live safely at home. PACE’s main objective is to keep seniors out of nursing homes.

Dentists

PRINCESS CITY DENTAL CARE

2006 N. Main St., Mishawaka, IN 46545 (574) 259-8571 www.pcdentalcare.com

EmphasisOnComplete,CompassionateCare.Member AmericanSocietyOfGeriatricDentistry.

Home Care Services

ALWAYS BEST CARE - MICHIANA 310 N. Ironwood Dr. South Bend, IN 46615 (574) 232-8487 www.abc-michiana.com

Leaders in Non-Medical Home Care. VA Provider. Indiana Medicaid Waiver Provider. Michigan Medicaid Provider. Private Pay. Long-term Care Insurance. Veterans Care Bridge.

See Our Ad In This Issue

HOME INSTEAD

3025 Grape Rd. Mishawaka, IN 46545 (574) 256-1479 www.homeinstead.com/343

From companionship to transportation to loving care, to us it’s personal.

HERITAGE POINT ASSISTED LIVING & MEMORY CARE

1215 Trinity Place, Mishawaka, IN 46545 Phone (574) 247-7400 www.HeritagePointRet.com

Licensed Memory Care

24 Hr. Nursing Respite Care

Willow

AMPLIFIERS