Make preparations now to avoid conflict later

apart at the seams like an exploding baseball.

Families are funny things — they’re all unique, full of different dynamics and perspectives and experiences. Many times they contain the best of relationships, like love and trust, and other times there are past traumas that impact all future interactions. When a family member, particularly a patriarch or matriarch nears end-of-life, all the best and, unfortunately, sometimes all the worst comes out.

That is a universal truth for us that provide hospice care: Death either binds a family tighter, or the pressures are too much and it blows it

It’s hard enough to think about end-of-life and planning, what with wills, DNRs and burial plans, to even think about how a family might emotionally function under those circumstances. But there are some steps you can take well ahead of time to reduce some of those pressures that often cause the most distress.

Preplan as much as possible. Take that pressure off of your family now, as little squabbles often turn into major headaches. Appoint a medical and financial power of attorney now who will act in your best interests if you no longer are able to make decisions, and discuss it with all involved now. Write out your preferred plans about your funeral and who should handle what. Make sure your will is in good standing.

Think about your pets, your home, your car, prized possessions and heirlooms — things that might not be included in a will. Make some decisions now as to your preferences. Try to create an expectation of comfort and inclusiveness. Family members who might not get along will often behave even under pressure when there is the agreed upon expectation that bygones are bygones at least for the time being. These little measures can go a long way to future peace. The VNA Hospice of Northwest Indiana is your nonprofit provider of choice for over 53 years. Visit us at www.vnanwi.org or call (219) 462-5195 for more information.