well being

well being | features Managing holiday stress in 2020

By Jaclyn Youhana Garver

Let’s play a word association game. I say holiday you say … Gifts? Cookies?

Christie Browning

Family? What about … Stress?

Holiday stressors are so prevalent, the American Psychological Association has a dedicated Holiday Stress Resource Center. And that’s just during a typical year. In 2020? Woo boy.

For tips to manage stress this year — which, admittedly, may be more elevated than in previous years — we spoke to Christie Browning, the head and founder of reVision Motivational Company, which includes one-on-one coaching and helps clients focus on goal-setting and being intentional with their actions and time. One topic that comes up often? Stress.

Browning shares her tips to de-escalate this year’s holiday stress. The big takeaway? It’s all about managing expectations.

Have a family conversation

Too often, people can get stressed about the holidays before anything even goes wrong.

“I think people get really out-of-whack with their expectations with what the holidays are going to be,” Browning said. “The mom who dresses her kids to look perfectly and yells and screams not to get dirty, and as soon as everyone walks in the door, expects a Norman Rockwell (setting). It’s unrealistic.”

To curb that issue, have a talk with your immediate family and figure out what everyone wants the holiday to look like.

And then, talk about it with extended family members.

“The last thing you want is to show up for Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner and find out you should have done this or done that, and you’re feeling mad,” Browning said. “So find out ahead of time: Do I need to wear a mask? Do I need to bring my own plates and silverware?”

Similarly, is everyone comfortable eating the same food? If so, great. If not, great. Maybe each family can bring food for their own families. The important thing to remember is to be sensitive: Others may not feel the same way you do.

“Let’s not make this a brawl, but (figure out) how we can still enjoy the meaning of the whole get-together in the first place,” she said.

Set gift expectations

Many people are still reeling from the hit taken by the economy this year. The pandemic resulted in a major financial impact on so many, which adds extra stress around a holiday centered on gift-giving.

That means, planning and budgeting is even more important this year than before. Know the answers to questions like Who do we buy for? and How much are we willing to spend?

“If the family says, ‘We want to buy for nieces and cousins and cats and dogs,’ and you’re not able, you need to be OK to say, ‘We’re not OK with that. That’s not in our budget. Don’t feel like you have to do that for us,’” Browning said.

Define your holiday vibes

As much as retailers want buyers to think gifts are necessary for holiday vibes, they’re not.

So figure out: What really creates a happy holiday? Is it presents? Food?

“No,” Browning said. “It’s heart and our relationships.”

Resources:

reVision Motivational Company, Columbia City, 260.255.4694, christiebrowning.com