Motherhood: Beating Mommy Brain Drain

BEATING Mommy Brain Drain

by Mary Jane Bogle

As moms, we’re all too familiar with brain drain, that foggy feeling we get when we we’re trying to complete a task, remember someone’s name, or even find the car keys.

While these temporary forays into amnesia can be mildly annoying, the niggling feeling that we’re forgetting something important is even worse. And with the constant “to-do” list running in the back of our minds, that “mom brain” syndrome all too often overwhelms us with feelings of inadequacy.

The good news is that “mom brain” isn’t some excuse women have developed to explain why they forgot to pay the credit card bill. It’s a real phenomenon. Turns out, motherhood has a significant impact on cognitive function.

Sure, part of that change occurs during pregnancy and can be linked to changes in grey matter and neuron function, but moms with older kids can experience a similar sensation, one that is linked to something called the “invisible workload,” defined as the extra work one parent typically exerts to keep everything running smoothly in a home. Too many times, that invisible workload goes unnoticed and is often underappreciated, leading to feelings of resentment in a relationship. Want to ease that strain and relieve some of the pressure you face from that never-ending workload playlist running through your mind? Here are six tips to get you started.

1. Schedule weekly family meetings.

Setting aside uninterrupted time to go over the week’s calendar and clearly defining roles and expectations can go a long way to putting both parents on the same page.

2. Assign responsibilities based on

individual strengths. One parent might excel in paying bills and keeping finances organized, while the other parent does a better job with meal planning, playdates, or carpool runs. Who’s the best cook? Who likes to plan vacations? Play to those strengths when discussing your to-do lists. 3. Occasionally reverse roles. Switching up responsibilities, such as balancing the checkbook or doing the grocery shopping, helps each parent understand home management from the other parent’s perspective, leading to greater appreciation for everything each person does for the family.

4. Use “batching” to beat last-minute

stress. Set aside an hour or two each month to fill the calendar with all the appointments, sporting events and family gatherings. Be sure to sync those appointments and reminders to each parent’s phone and remember to add notes so everyone knows who’s picking up the kids or bringing snacks to each event.

5. Get the kids involved. When the kids are old enough, delegate some of the household tasks. Even young children can clear the table, load the dishwasher, fold clothes, and make their beds. Bonus: teaching these tasks early prepares your kids for greater independence later on. 6. Make rest a reality. Nobody functions well on limited sleep. Reducing your invisible workload can go a long way to helping you unplug but setting and keeping a regular bedtime routine for yourself can ensure consistent and renewing rest.

The goal, of course, is to make that invisible workload visible. Sharing tasks appropriately goes a long way to greater planning, appreciation, and respect. a