The Invisible Workload of Moms

By Cassie Bear, Director of Women’s Fund of Greater Fort Wayne

When Mother’s Day comes around each spring, we take time to honor and appreciate the many roles that mothers serve. They are often not only responsible for their jobs outside the home but also for children, partners, and other family members. While we recognize the visible acts that mothers perform, we often fail to acknowledge the invisible work required.

What is emotional labor?

Emotional labor is the mental activity required to manage or perform the routine tasks necessary for maintaining relationships and ensuring the smooth running of a household or process. This includes tasks typically regarded as unappreciated or unacknowledged: the burdens borne disproportionately by women. This can include tasks such as listening to others, providing emotional support, and anticipating the needs of others.

Emotional Labor at Home

Mothers are often responsible for managing the emotional labor at home. This can include tasks like keeping track of appointments and medications, scheduling social activities and meals, securing childcare, planning and packing for vacations, and managing the household budget. In addition, working mothers are often responsible for providing and facilitating emotional support to their children and partner.

Emotional Labor at Work

Women also carry emotional labor in their professional lives. This can look like being expected to be the emotional regulators in group situations, serving as therapists for coworkers, knowing details of calendars or work schedules, and cleaning up or taking notes for work events.

Women are also most likely to be the champions for diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives within their workplaces. In addition, they may have to navigate a work culture that does not prioritize work-life balance or support for working parents.

The Toll of Emotional Labor

Emotional labor can be exhausting and affect a working mother’s mental and physical health. The constant emotional demands can lead to burnout, anxiety, and depression. It can also impact their relationships with their children and partner, as they may not have the energy or emotional bandwidth to provide the support they need. A lack of recognition for this type of labor can be demoralizing and lead to feelings of resentment and frustration. It is essential that we recognize and appreciate the emotional labor that working mothers carry both at home and in the workplace.

How to Help Carry the Load

To support working mothers, it is important to acknowledge the emotional labor that they carry, to look for ways to more equitably shoulder the load, and to provide everyone with resources to manage it. This can include flexible work schedules, sharing responsibility for planning and scheduling both at home and at work. Helping to carry the invisible labor of emotional work helps lighten the load for us all. a