Demystifying Meditation A

BEGINNER’S PERSPECTIVE

By Jaclyn Youhana Garver

Meditation always intimidated me. I imagined a blissed out woman settling into lotus position, her eyes lightly closed, back ram-rod straight, a knowing smile on her lips, and an hour of stillness stretching before her, during which time her mind would take her to the farthest reaches of the cosmos.

But I was curious, so when my Fort Wayne yoga studio offered a 30-minute guided mediation class on Fridays a few months ago, I thought it’d be an unintimidating intro.

I think I loved those three classes, and I went through some seriously trippy experiences. I called Nancy Lichtensteiger, a Studio Seva yoga and meditation teacher who taught the classes, to figure out a) why on earth I was so intimidated and b) what goes on in the brain during meditation.

Nancy said that a lot of people have an image in their head of what meditation is or what it should be. On one end of the spectrum might be something like transcendental meditation, “a monk in position, cross-legged and the fingers and om’ing for hours and hours and hours on end.” But meditation can also happen lying down, sitting in a chair or walking.

Intimidation can also come from our general inability to get the mind to shut up.

“Your mind is created to think,” Nancy said, “so it’s gonna have thoughts. Meditation is getting those thoughts to go into the background, and you can explore other senses and other parts of yourself. There’s no way to fail at meditation, and (some people) feel like they failed because their mind won’t be quiet.”

Class 1

My first meditation class seemed to be tailored for a woman who was a bit intimidated: It was just me and one other woman.

Nancy first cycled through the variety of positions we could take. If I’m going to be comfortable not moving for a half hour, I want to lie down. She suggested placing a slim sandbag across my lower belly, which felt wonderful, a sensation similar to a weighted blanket—I felt grounded and safe.

The first strange thing happened a few minutes into the session: Nancy instructed us to “look behind your eyelids.” There, a purple blob formed. It wasn’t bright, but it was steady. I watched the blob change shapes and melt, and I marveled that I’ve not seen that color with my eyes closed before.