August 13, 2026

Volume 56 - No. 33

THE JOKER

August 13, 2026

By Friedrich Gomez

lyle e. davis August gives us national “Tell a Funny Story” (or joke) in the U.S. and has been celebrated annually during the month of August since 1987 with its roots first as an “unofficial day of levity” appearing in the Taylorville Daily Breeze Courier, in Taylorville, Illinois. (Source: NBC News, New York.)

Editor and founder of Escondido’s weekly publication THE PAPER, lyle e. davis (who spells his name all in lower case) has continued the rich legacy and tradition of telling humorous stories and jokes in his widely popular weekly column aptly called: “Give Us This Day Our Daily Chuckle.”

my editor and me and the TV news camera zeroed We all succumbed to laughter, as can be viewed on in for a close-up shot of the “Give Us This Day Our that CBS Primetime News Special.

Daily Chuckle” page.

With his Chuckles weekly column, my editor has lyle davis remarked: “Page 2 is our chuckles, that’s bestowed yet another precious gift to help make our our jokes . . . everyone goes to the chuckles page!” world a better place to live, which is the weekly gift of laughter to a world often full of sorrow, personal lyle davis’ statement piqued the curiosity of news- struggles, and seemingly endless trials and tribulacaster Jeff Zevely as Mr. Zevely and the news cam- tions. era suddenly turned to me and asked me to read something from the daily chuckles column for the How truly important is this gift of laughter and haphuge viewing audience at home. piness which my editor promotes?

I obliged, and read the following bit of comedic His Chuckles column received huge television ex- wisdom: “A husband should never ask his wife posure via popular news reporter, Jeff Zevely, and what’s for dinner when she’s mowing the lawn!” the CBS TV 8 news team when they interviewed

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email: thepaper@cox.net

The Christian Bible views laughter as a precious gift from God that brings emotional healing, reflects deep inner joy, and marks moments to restore hope. (Proverbs 17:22. Psalm 126:2. Genesis 21.6.

JOKER - See Page 7

The Paper • Page 2 • August 13, 2026

Give Us This Day Our Daily Chuckle

woman will often say, “it might be nice to have another child.”

On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, “You know, I think I would like another kick in the groin.”

I rest my case.

Time for another beer. ****

This week, a compendium of wit, wisdom and neat stuff you can tell at parties. Enjoy!

The best form of birth control after 50? Nudity. **** A woman’s work is never done . . . because they don’t get up early enough. **** When you think about it, God is the greatest inventor of all. He took a rib and made it into a loudspeaker. **** Earl and Bubba were quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, “Think I’m gonna divorce the wife - she ain’t spoke to me in over 2 months.”

Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says, “Better think it over ...women like that are hard to find.” **** Let’s have a moment of silence for all those folks stuck in traffic while en route to the gym to ride the stationary bicycle. **** Beer Drinkers: What deep thinkers men are...

I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer.

The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking on various topics.

Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?

Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the groin.

Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question.

Getting kicked in the groin is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion.

A year or so after giving birth, a

Texas Police Respect I get irritated when people come down on our police officers, saying that they don’t care about or respect others. Well, here is a story that clearly shows not all cops are in that category.

This story involves the police department in the small hill country town of Fredericksburg , TX who reported finding a man’s body last Saturday, in the early evening, in the Pedernales River near the state highway-87 bridge. The dead man’s name would not be released until his family had been notified.

The victim apparently drowned due to excessive beer consumption while visiting “someone” in Kerrville. He was wearing black fishnet stockings, 4 inch spiked heels, a red garter belt, a pink G-string, purple lipstick, dazzle dust on his eyelids, 2 1/2 inch false eyelashes and a Biden T-shirt.

The police removed the Biden Tshirt to spare his family any unnecessary embarrassment.

See there, Texas Police do care .... **** Difficulty of English Fun and games with the English

language. Homographs are words of like spelling, but with more than one meaning. A homograph that is also pronounced differently is a heteronym.

You think English is easy? This took a lot of work to put together!

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a

series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let’s face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are animal organs.

We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth, beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

Lastly - Why doesn’t ‘Buick’ rhyme with ‘quick’? **** Health Alert for American Men ~ If you are taking Viagra, make sure the label says “Made in USA”. We do not want the Russians meddling in our erections. **** A good ol’ country boy is a pal of mine; he wants to start out in a new career direction . . . .I dunno . . .

Why I Want To Be A Writer The reason is pretty simple really, my song writing career never took off. I was raised with Country music. My dad was a trucker; his favorite line was he only liked CHUCKLES See Page 3

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CHUCKLES From Page 2

two kinds of music, Country and Western. (There’s a difference, trust me.) So growing up I listened to such classics as Red Sovine “Giddy-Up Go” “Phantom 309” and that heart-breaking tear-jerker “Teddy Bear”, and Marty Robbins’ cowboy classics. In between all of those were the usual Country fair, George and Tammy, Conway and Loretta, Porter Wagner, Bob Wills, and Buck Owens and the Buckaroos just to name a few. Plus all of the trucking songs of the 60’s and 70’s of course.

Having had my fair share of troubled marriages and relationships I thought I was well qualified to put thoughts to pen and pen to paper and kick out a few good tunes for my Country heroes to sing. I mean at one point in my life I was convinced someone from Reba’s record company was following me around and taking notes, her songs hit that close to home! So no offense to the great Miss Reba and all, we all know I love her, but why should she be riding the gravy train on my misery? It is after all my misery! Here are a few titles I tried to sell, alas to no avail.

“If You’re Trying To Piss Me Off It’s Working” “Hello Darling-I See The Restraining Order Didn’t Work” “You’re Pretty Handy With A Frying Pan (Too Bad You Can’t Cook Too!)” “There’s A Hole In My Heart (That’ll teach me to leave a gun by the door)” “I Swear (I don’t know whose lipstick that is on my collar)” “Honey Don’t Go (Feed the cat first)” “She Wants Me Back (In Jail)” “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover (Just pick one and go already)” -(Paul Simon threatened to sue me over this one.)

“A Love Like Ours (Even the Pope flinched when he heard we got married)” “She Left And Took My Dog (Damn I miss that bitch)” (rejected because they said it was too ambiguous) I don’t know why they didn’t sell.... I figured David Allan Coe or Johnny Paycheck at least right? **** “Conversation Number One - Interview With A Giraffe” Imagine a radio station where they interview human beings, but sometimes they don’t. The following is an interview conducted at that station.

INTERVIEWER: Today, as a change of pace from interviewing human beings, I have as my guest a giraffe, direct from the wildest plains of Africa. Mr. Giraffe, welcome.

GIRAFFE: Hello, hi. It’s good to be here. And you can forget the ‘Mister.’ We animals don’t stand on ceremony. Except for lions.

You know lions. They got a mane, they think it’s a crown. On the other hand, horses have manes and they’re fine, so go figure.

INTERVIEWER: Uh-huh.

GIRAFFE: Am I jabbering? I’m jabbering, aren’t I? INTERVIEWER: That’s all right.

GIRAFFE: It’s just so good to open up. In the wild, we’re not allowed to talk.

INTERVIEWER: For safety reasons, I suppose.

GIRAFFE: A lot of good that does us. Okay, so we’re quiet giraffes.

The predators can’t hear us. But, please, we’re twenty feet tall. They can SEE US! Being quiet only protects us from blind predators. Like they’re a big problem.

INTERVIEWER: Well, you can relax. You’re quite safe here.

AUGUST 30TH HARPSICHORD/ PIANO RECITAL IN ESCONDIDO On Sunday August 30 at 4 pm in the Sanctuary, First United Methodist Church Escondido (341 S. Kalmia St.) presents Bradley Pettit performing Baroque harpsichord selections

by J.S. Bach and Francois Couperin and a piano suite by Ravel. This recital is part of the church’s Music Series, presented as a gift to the community. There will be a freewill offering.

Mr. Pettit, a collaborative pianist, is a graduate of San Diego State University. He regularly performs with professional musicians and students at recitals, studio recordings, auditions, and exams. His musical career in San Diego includes serving as a choir accompaniment, church organist, opera rehearsal pianist, and orchestral keyboardist, including work with the San Diego Symphony.

Mr. Pettit will be continuing his education at USC Thornton School of Music, pursuing a Master’s degree in Keyboard Collaborative Arts.

GIRAFFE: Yes, I can sense that.

Speaking of ‘safe’, can you get me into a zoo?

INTERVIEWER: You want to live in a zoo?

GIRAFFE: I’d prefer it greatly, yes.

INTERVIEWER: That’s kind of surprising. A lot of people think animals shouldn’t be in zoos.

GIRAFFE: Has anyone asked the CHUCKLES See Page 5

08/15/26 Happy Hour - Karl Strauss WED, 08/26/26 - 3-5 PM(5801 Armada Dr, Carlsbad) One of our favorites! Join us for an afternoon of food, drinks, fun, and good company. Separate checks, of course!RSVP with Vince Loughney 760-7246857 (text preferred) by Sat, 08/22/26 Dinner/Dance – Oceanside Elks Lodge FRI, 08/28/26 - 5-9 PM (Oceanside Elks Lodge, 444 Country Club Ln, Oceanside) Dinner and dancing to live music. Join us for a lively evening of fun, music and dancing. Please be sure to RSVP and to let Dottie know if you cannot make it after you RSVP or for the evening’s menu. RSVP with Dottie (760) 4385491 by Thurs, 08/20/26 *** What’s Happening in Vista?

North County Widows and Widowers Club Events and Activities for August

Vista Farmers Market Every Saturday

Dinner/Dance – Vista Elks Lodge FRI, 08/14/26 - 5-9 PM (Vista Elks Lodge, 1947 E. Vista Way, Vista) Dinner and dancing to live music. Join us for a lively evening of fun, music and dancing. All non-Elk NCWW members will be charged a $15 cover charge to defray rising costs. Please be sure to RSVP and to let Dottie know if you decide not to come.

RSVP with Dottie (760) 438-5491 by Thurs, 08/06/26

8 a.m.-12 p.m. Vista Courthouse Parking Lot, 345 S. Melrose Dr.

Stomp ‘ n’ Chomp - Oceanside Harbor TUES, 08/18/26 10:30-1:00 PM (1325 N Harbor Dr, Oceanside) Time for a little exercise and some yummy lunch at the Oceanside Harbor! We will meet at the Oceanside Broiler parking lot at 10:30 to walk for as long as you’d like then come back to the Broiler for lunch at 11:30. If you don’t feel like walking, just join us for lunch! RSVP with Mary Hudson (760) 994-6567 by

Vista Makers Market First Sunday of every month 1-5 p.m. The Commons, 802 S. Santa Fe Ave. Visit www.vista.gov for more information. *** Play Chess!!

San Marcos Senior Center 111 Richmar Ave, San Marcos (760) 744-5535

OODLES See Page 14

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Man About Town by lyle e davis He was a young, not yet 22 years-old, man; she was also young, not yet 21 years-old, a young immigrant from Prestwick, Ayrshire, Scotland.

It was on a Sunday, June 19th, 1960, at Benson Baptist Church in Omaha, Nebraska.

Today, she suffers from dementia.

But she didn’t forget June 19th. Several days ago she asked him if he remembered anything special about June 19th.

Toying with her, he said, “Hmmm. Is it someone’s birthday? Is it a national holiday? Is it my haircut day?”

“Saaaaay,” he said, “come to think of it, I think that’s the day we got married!”

She broke out in a big smile. lyle e davis married Mary Kirk Holden on this sunny day, June 19th. That was 66 years ago.

Pastor Bill Bingham presided.

They honeymooned at Green Lake in Spicer, Minnesota. She brought party dresses and ball gowns. They spent their days in a boat. Fishing. Evenings, they would dine at a local restaurant.

In Spicer, Minnesota.

Spicer, Minnesota does not have a lot of fancy restaurants. Not a whole lot of places to wear party dresses or ball gowns. But it’s a great town if you want to go fishing.

Her memory has not faded so much that she doesn’t remember that honeymoon and her pretty party dresses and ball gowns that she never got to wear.

Small town restaurants and truck stop eateries do not lend themselves well to party dresses and ball gowns. And she reminds him of it. Every year. But she laughs when she brings it up. So does he.

66 years ago.

Can you believe it?

And we are still here. A wee bit older . . . a few more pounds and a few more wrinkles. Two handsome sons. A lot of memories. And we’re still here.

Together.

It’s been quite a ride.

Happy Anniversary to my wee Scots lassie, Mary. **** Time was when a ride on a train meant a constant sound of ‘clickety-clack, clickety, clack . . “ No more.

Today, when you board an Amtrak you hear, at most, a quiet whisper of ‘whoosh.’ And the train moves out smartly, on time, and offers air conditioned comfort.

We decided to take a break from the daily humdrum of life . . . and from the pressures of answering phones, (many

of which are those accursed ‘robocalls’ - of making phone calls, of making sales calls, of writing, of planning, of dealing with a half dozen issues. It was just time to getaway for a bit.

So we called Amtrak and booked a round trip from Oceanside to San Juan Capistrano.

Absolutely LOVED the experience particularly the Amtrak train ride up and back.

Amtrak gets high marks for being a delight to work with. Their automated reservation system works like a charm.

We had occasion to talk to a real live human being and she was so helpful I’ve decided I want to adopt her.

We made the reservations and received the boarding passes via email.

We boarded Amtrak in Oceanside at 10:40am.

Piece of cake. Parking (free) adjacent to the depot. Train was on time, whisper quiet upon arrival and upon departure.

Window seats with views of the ocean going up and coming back.

It seemed like about a minute and we were already at San Clemente! Another minute and we were in San Juan Capistrano. In fact, we had been visiting with a young lady who had to remind us . . .”you’d better get moving. This is your stop.” She was right. We were there already! 11:15am! 35 minutes!

No traffic jams, no delays, friendly passengers with which to visit, lovely views.

I had almost booked business class but then thought . . . “wait a minute. Business class? For a 35 minute ride? That doesn’t make sense. We’ll go coach.”

I enjoyed the trip so much I’d like to do it again, only this time maybe to Santa Barbara (where we used to live) or to San Luis Obispo. On a longer trip I’ll book business class, put on my ‘uppity clothes’ (which means long pants (maybe) instead of my traditional tennis or walking shorts). Bloody Mary’s, Wine, Beer, sandwiches, all the comforts of the good life. And, of course, the beautiful scenery en route up and back.

Let me urge anyone who lives in the San Diego County area to seriously consider a day trip to San Juan Capistrano. Relaxing, lots of lovely, small, quaint shops, restaurants, a variety of entertainments all close in. And lots of nice, friendly people to chat with, some of whom were tourists, many of whom were locals. All of whom were helpful.

Upon arrival we walked across the tracks into the Los Rios District, the oldest neighborhood in America. The “Old Town” of the city. Colorful, original district homes and businesses with original adobe buildings and a great history! We had a cup of coffee at the Hidden House Coffee House . . . then grabbed lunch at a historic, small, very rustic building which housed The Hummingbird House Cafe, owned by a Bulgarian family and which offers delicious food at very fair prices. We opted for the Sampler plate appetizer (about $12) and shared. Exotic, different food, with a variety of dipping sauces. We met Plamena and her husband, Svet - absolutely charming folks.

We ate in a lovely shaded patio area, with a view of the passing tourists and of much of the historic Los Rios district. The Hummingbird House Cafe building is 140 years old! Solid construction with simple vertical clapboard exterior, shake shingle roof, and lots of weathered wood throughout the

area - all giving a great patina, consistent with a historic district.

A good friend had recommended the Ramos House Cafe but we had eaten breakfast before we left and weren’t all that hungry; add in the fact the the Ramos House is a pricey joint and we decided to pass. I don’t mind paying good money for good food and service but I also don’t like to spend money needlessly on a pricey cafe when I’m not all that hungry. The Appetizer Sampler Plate at The Hummingbird House Cafe suited us just fine (and at $12 a plate our cost was, let me see now, divide by two . . . about $6 each. And were quite pleased.

I had brought a windbreaker jacket as, being a coastal city, I knew it sometimes could be a bit on the cool side, even in the summer. I needn’t have worried. The weather was a balmy 7580 degrees, blue skies - I did not need a jacket. I was quite comfortable in walking shorts, Birkenstock sandals, and a sport shirt.

After a most enjoyable browsing session (Mary, my ex-wife, surprised me in that she wasn’t anxious to shop all that much) we decided to head back home.

Caught the southbound train, were in San Clemente within, it seemed, seconds . . . marveled at all the beachgoers and surfers (in the middle of the week!

We went on a Wednesday. Good idea; weekends tend to be packed, both on the trains and at the ‘good spots.’)

Relaxing trip up; relaxing trip back to Oceanside . . . and that’s what we were looking for. Relaxation. A getaway from business concerns . . . to get out of the house, out of the office . .. and . . . away.

Mission accomplished.

We’ll be going again! **** Ray Nutter is a computer whiz I’ve known for 20 plus years. His comments on crank phone calls are interesting and may prove helpful to you: Ray Nutte: The source phone number means absolutely nothing. Caller ID is worthless. All of the spammers can spoof Caller ID, and make whatever they want show up on your phone.

We’re talking 1980s technology here it wasn’t designed to thwart this type of activity. Please do not call these numbers back - the folks on the other end are just as much a victim (actually more) than you, as they’ve essentially had their “phone identity” stolen, and now find themselves the recipient of multiple call-backs from (sometimes irate) people who think they received a call from them.

Ray Nutter: And if you don’t start behaving yourself, Lyle... I’m going to keep calling you back.

Comment from lyle: I’ve been guilty of calling several of these numbers back and, yes, I was irate. “What thehell was so important you had to call me at 2:30 in the morning?”

As Ray points out above, the party I called may have not known anything about a phone call made to me. Their phone number had been stolen and used in a scam. **** I remember about 50 years ago . . . I was Vice President and General Manager of KOWN Radio in Escondido, CA. It seemed I had everything. A beautiful

office, fantastic secretary, great staff, lovely radio station, was being paid quite well, and had a prestigious position in the community, as well as a wife and two sons at home.

Very comfortable. Or so it seemed.

What more could I want?

I didn’t know . . . but I just knew I wasn’t happy. Did not feel fulfilled.

Felt I had been put on this planet for some other reason than what I was doing at that time. I knew I had talent, drive, ambition. Money was not, and still is not, all that important to me.

Somewhere, deep inside of me, I felt that I was destined to do something worthwhile . . . something that made my life here more meaningful.

I advised the owners of the radio station that I did not intend to renew my contract. I wanted them to have plenty of advance notice so they could make alternate plans. Still, I had no solid plan for my future. I just knew, with all its comfort, where I was was not where I needed to be.

In due course, the owners found a replacement for me . . . and I was off on my own again.

In those 44 years since leaving the radio station, I’ve done a few things . . . several of which I’m rather proud.

We formed the NCYSA (North County Youth Soccer League). We put together a board of directors, coaches, and kids. The first year we had 325 players, the second year 575, the third year over 900 and NCYSA eventually grew to the point where they had to turn down applicants after 2500 kids had already signed up.

There was simply no more room on the rosters, no more soccer fields to accommodate that many teams.

We managed, we coached, we even played soccer.

Good years.

Later, we formed Los Caballeros de Aventura (The Gentlemen of Adventure). This was a youth diversion group designed to divert kids, primarily Latinos, away from joining gangs.

The strategy was to keep them so busy having great fun discovering life that they had neither the time nor inclination to join gangs.

It was a brilliant success.

We ran the organization for six years.

In that time we served primarily Escondido and San Marcos kids and made somewhere around 300 adventures come alive for those kids . . . and spent thousands of hours with them.

Not one of our kids ever got in trouble with law enforcement in that six year period of time.

MAN ABOUT TOWN See Page 7

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CHUCKLES From Page 3

animals? Let’s see. Zoos. They feed you, they clean up your ‘habitat’, you get first class medical care, including dental, and you’re completely protected from predators who want to rip you to pieces and eat you. Oh, yeah. Zoos are the worst. The Circle of Life, that’s good. It’s good in Disney movies!

INTERVIEWER: You wouldn’t miss your freedom?

GIRAFFE: In the wilds of Africa, we have this saying: “Freedom’s just another word for running for your life.” Which reminds me, do we have time for a quick story?

INTERVIEWER: Sure.

GIRAFFE: This goes way back.

I’m a baby, six, maybe, seven feet tall. I’m standing in the river with a bunch of other giraffes and we’re slaking our thirst, which is a fancy way of saying we’re drinking some water. Suddenly, giraffe ears prick up, noses start to twitch – something’s going on.

INTERVIEWER: Something dangerous.

GIRAFFE: No, the ice cream truck is coming. Of course, dangerous.

INTERVIEWER: What’s the strategy in these situations?

GIRAFFE: Our strategy is you run like crazy and, I know this isn’t nice, but you hope that they catch a different giraffe.

INTERVIEWER: So you ran.

GIRAFFE: They ran. The other giraffes. I was young and thirsty and I missed the signals. I look up, everyone’s gone.

INTERVIEWER: Oh, dear.

GIRAFFE: ‘Oh dear’ is right.

‘What’s going on?’, I’m thinking.

Then I look around, and there he is.

A lion. It was the first one I’d ever seen, but you know, just looking at him, you know it’s not good.

INTERVIEWER: You must have

been terrified.

GIRAFFE: To put it delicately, a lot of water went back into the river.

INTERVIEWER: What did you do?

GIRAFFE: Okay. At this point, I have to reveal a confidence. A secret no animal has ever revealed on the radio or anywhere else. Are you interested in a ‘scoop’?

INTERVIEWER: Of course.

GIRAFFE: You got it. And I’m hoping – no quid pro quo, or anything – but, you know, if you want to be nice, in exchange for the ‘scoop’, that maybe you can help me…

INTERVIEWER: …get into a zoo.

GIRAFFE: Enough said – winkwink. Okay, here’s the ‘scoop,’ the fact that animals have kept to themselves since the beginning of time.

Are you ready?

INTERVIEWER: I’m all ears.

GIRAFFE: Okay. In the jungle, every animal has, secreted, somewhere on his or her person, a book.

INTERVIEWER: A book.

GIRAFFE: It’s very small. We have excellent eyesight.

INTERVIEWER: I’ve never heard this before.

GIRAFFE: Of course not, it’s a secret! Were you not listening?

INTERVIEWER: I’m sorry. How have you kept it a secret so long?

GIRAFFE: Animals are extremely disciplined. Also, just before they die, animals are instructed to swallow the book. Look in their mouths.

Tiny pages.

INTERVIEWER: Does the book have a name?

GIRAFFE: Yes. The book is called Who Eats Who? It’s a picture book, because, you know…

INTERVIEWER: Animals can’t read.

GIRAFFE: And don’t think it hasn’t held us back. Here’s how it works.

You’re in the wild, and you spot an animal skulking in your proximity.

Strange animal, you’ve never seen

it before. Right away, you pull out your Who Eats Who? and you locate the picture in the book that matches the animal you’re looking at. Now, underneath that picture, below the identifying name, you will find one of two arrows – an arrow pointing toward the animal, which means you run after him and eat him; or an arrow pointing away from the animal, which means, ‘Get the heck out of there before he eats you.’

INTERVIEWER: Sounds like a very important book.

GIRAFFE: It’s essential! You lose that book, and before you know it, you’re a sandwich without the bread. Okay, back to the story. The lion starts heading my way. I don’t know what he is, so I whip out my Who Eats Who?, I match him with the picture.

INTERVIEWER: And you run away.

GIRAFFE: That’s what I should have done. But at that moment, I was so nervous, I misread the arrow and I thought that we ate them.

INTERVIEWER: Oh, no. So you…

GIRAFFE: I a\ttacked the lion.

Was he surprised! I mean, I get there and I start chewing on his leg with my leaf-eating teeth, and he’s just standing there. Staring at me. I mean, the guy couldn’t believe his eyes. A giraffe is eating a lion.

INTERVIEWER: Whoa.

GIRAFFE: ‘Whoa’ is right! The guy’s standing there in shock. And before you know it, I ate him all up!

INTERVIEWER: Incredible.

GIRAFFE: But true. I’ll never forget the last thing he said just before I ate his mouth.

INTERVIEWER: What did he say?

GIRAFFE: ‘We eat you!’

INTERVIEWER: Well. That is truly an unforgettable story.

GIRAFFE: Isn’t it?

INTERVIEWER: Thank you for telling it.

GIRAFFE: My absolute pleasure.

So you’ll get me into a zoo?

INTERVIEWER: I’m sorry, I can’t.

GIRAFFE: But we had an agreement.

INTERVIEWER: I don’t believe we did.

GIRAFFE: There was an unspoken assumption. I’m certain of it.

INTERVIEWER: Thank you for being with us.

GIRAFFE: This is so unfair!

INTERVIEWER: Our guest today has been a giraffe, who will now go back where he came from.

GIRAFFE: I have joint problems.

I’m not going to last. **** Wife crashed the car again today.

She told the police the man she hit was drinking beer and talking on his cell phone.

Police said he can do anything he wants in his own living room. **** A Marine’s Last Request…

A Soldiers and a Marine are caught by the enemy, and are going to be executed by the firing squad.

The enemy Commander says “well, you’re about to die, do you have any last requests?”

The Soldier says “You know the song - ‘My heart will go on’ by Celine Dion? Could you play that for me?”

The Commander says “Yes, I think we can do that.” Turning to the Marine he asks “And what about you?”

The Marine thinks for a moment, then says “Could you shoot me first?” **** Just saw a girl at Walmart with six upper lip piercings. It took all of my self control to keep from hanging a shower curtain on her.

The Paper • Page 6 • August 13, 2026

5th District Supervisor • Jim Desmond They spent your money to ask if they could raise your taxes Imagine hiring someone to find the smoothest way to reach into your pocket — and paying them out of that same pocket. That, in plain terms, is what happened at the County of San Diego.

The County paid outside consultants thousands of taxpayer dollars to run polls. And the question those polls were built to answer was not how to fix a road, clear a permit backlog, or shorten the wait at a county office. It was whether the County could raise your taxes, and which pitch would make an increase easiest to sell. Your own money was spent to test the best way to ask for more of it.

only objection. Yes, a subcommittee should never be spending your money in the dark, out of view of the full Board and the public. But even done in broad daylight, with every Supervisor watching, this is not something the County should be paying for at all. Public money exists to deliver services residents asked for — not to bankroll political research.

Here is the part that should tell us everything we need to know.

Even after paying for the poll, the answer from residents was no.

When people were asked about a half-cent sales tax, roughly twothirds were opposed. Support for the other tax ideas collapsed the What bothers me most is not only moment residents heard both sides that it happened, but how it hap- of the argument rather than a onepened. This was not done in the sided sales pitch. open, with the full Board of Supervisors weighing in and resi- That result should not surprise dents able to watch. It was han- anyone. San Diegans are already dled quietly, by a subcommittee. stuck with some of the highest gas The public only learned about it and electricity bills in the country. through news reporting and pub- Families are feeling the squeeze at lic records requests. When gov- the pump, on the utility bill, and ernment spending has to be pried at the grocery store. You did not loose with a records request, that need a taxpayer-funded consultant tells you it was never meant to be to figure out that people stretched seen. It sounds exactly as shady as this thin do not want to pay more. it is, and I suspect most of you feel Any one of us could have told them that for free. the same.

It is lowering the cost of living, not inventing new ways to raise it. Government should be looking for every way to ease that burden, and it certainly should not be spending public dollars to quietly measure how much further residents can be pushed before they push back.

So let me be plain about the fix, because I think some of my colleagues will reach for the wrong one. There will be a temptation to answer this with a few new disclosure rules — a contract review here, a public posting there — and call it reform. I do not want a better-managed version of this practice. Better paperwork around a poll still leaves you paying for the poll. The real answer is simpler: the County should not be spending taxpayer dollars on political polling, period.

If an idea cannot earn support on its own merits, the solution is not to hire a consultant to test a better sales pitch for it.

You have my word. I will keep a close watch on how the County spends your money, and I will keep standing up for your wallet.

My office door is open, and I hope you will not hesitate to reach out.

We were sent here to serve you, in the open and on the record. Spending your money to ask permission to take more of it is the opposite The Board is expected to take this of that. I intend to keep saying so issue up at our August 18 meeting. until it stops.

I will be making the case that we end the practice, not dress it up. Jim Desmond is a member of the Public money belongs to the ser- San Diego County Board of Suvices you actually asked for — not pervisors. He represents the 5th to focus-testing tax hikes — and I District, which includes EscondiThe secrecy makes it worse, but The answer to the pressure house- hope you will let your Supervisors do, Valley Center, Pauma Valley, Palomar Mountain and much of let me be clear that it is not my holds are under is not another tax. know where you stand. the Backcountry.

San Marcos Mayor • Rebecca Jones Roadway improvements ready for back to school Just in time for the start of the new school year, I’m pleased to share that the City of San Marcos has completed traffic flow and safety improvements on San Marcos Boulevard between Knights Realm and Rancho Santa Fe Road in front of San Marcos High School.

The completed project extends the two left turn lanes on westbound San Marcos Boulevard to Rancho Santa Fe. By making the turn lanes longer, more cars can fit in the turn lanes to help reduce backups. The project also extends the median fencing in front of the high school to encourage people to use the designated crosswalks, creating a safer experience for students, families and drivers alike.

While the eastbound left turn into the shopping center was removed, it does help keep cars moving through the corridor more smoothly. All the shopping center entrances are still open. Thank you to everyone for your patience during construction!

As we welcome students back to school, it’s also a good time to remember that safety extends to everyone using our streets whether driving, biking or walking. With students using e-bikes to get to and from school, I encourage families to review these important rules.

Here are a few key reminders from the existing laws: Riders under 12 are not allowed on e-bikes Riders under 18 must wear a helmet Passengers are only allowed if the e-bike is designed for it Lights are required at night No weaving through traffic No riding on sidewalks The start of a new school year is always an exciting time in San Marcos. As students head back to school, let’s continue to look out for one another and do our part to keep our community safe. I wish all of our students, families and teachers a safe and successful school year!

The Paper • Page 7 • August 13, 2026

MAN ABOUT TOWN From Page 4

Today, we still see them . . . but in a bit different context. Today, they’ll walk up to Evelyn and I in a store, introduce themselves and say, “Mr. Davis, I’d like you to meet my wife and two kids ...“ It’s times like that when Evelyn and I look at each other and both think the same thought . . . “We did something right.”

Today, I don’t head up any civic or service organizations. I have co-founded “The Puppy Coalition,” an organization dedicated to saving puppies and dogs from being needlessly euthanized, and to change legislation to help protect puppies and dogs, and to penalize those who abuse these animals.

I am somewhat hampered in the time I can devote to this organization, however. I own and operate a weekly newspaper that bought over 28 years ago. This paper keeps me very busy . . . Evelyn and I pretty much produce it ourselves every week. Accordingly, I don’t have the time I’d like to dedicate to the puppies and dogs. My partnerin-crime, and co-founder of The Puppy Coalition, is a gent named Bruce Krider. Bruce does so much more than I do in saving these animals. At this writing he has three dogs at home he has rescued and four that he pays to kennel.

But Bruce also runs a consulting and appraisal business for hospitals and the health services profession. He has to travel a fair amount and even though he is well paid, he’s being eaten alive by the kenneling costs. I try to help out ... donating a couple hundred here, a couple hundred there, but that’s chump change compared to the money Bruce is laying out . . . and out of his own pocket.

(Four dogs @ $15 per day = $60 per day x 7 days = $420 per week, just in kenneling costs).

Perhaps The Puppy Coalition is what I was put on earth to make happen. There is a great need, nationwide, to protect these pups and dogs . . . to keep them from being euthanized because they’ve “run out of time at the kennel” . . . to help find foster homes and/or adoptive homes for them . . . to ensure universal spaying and neutering of animals.

If we are to accomplish this, we need to raise considerable funds . . . and to hire an Executive Director who can do the things that Bruce and I cannot, because of our work/professional responsibilities.

There is an alternative route I could go . . . but I fear age has caught up to me and I simply don’t have the drive, determination and energy to pursue that.

Recently, the North County Times, our daily newspaper for North San Diego County, was absorbed by the San Diego Union Tribune . . . the major daily for the San Diego Metropolitan area.

They have all but abandoned North County in terms of news coverage.

An ideal situation for someone like me, with a weekly newspaper, to expand our distribution, add a sales staff of four to six people, possibly go from a weekly to two to three times a week (but not a daily . . . dailies are failing nationwide). Ideal, but, for me, probably not practical. This is an assignment for a younger man, full of energy.

But the rewards could be great. Within less than two years I could be a multimillionaire. The market is here, the product, well accepted, is here . . . all it takes is going out and getting the advertising revenue.

But . . . I’m 87. The energy just isn’t there anymore. Perhaps I need to find a younger partner that can make all this happen? Money, in and of itself, still is not all that important to me. If I were to become a multi-millionaire I would likely give most of it away . . . to support the puppies and dogs.

I’m still not certain of my purpose in life. I want to accomplish whatever task it is that I was intended to do.

I just am not sure of what it is.

For the moment . . . it’s The Puppy Coalition. But, somehow, I still feel that there must be a calling for me in yet another area. Something I was meant to do to help the world. But I have no idea what it is.

A retired pastor, Dick Huls, has become a dear friend and confidant. He and I meet for coffee a couple times a month . . . and we talk. Every time, when the coffee is over, I head home - inspired. Dick does that to me. He makes me think . . . he points me in different directions. Maybe Dick Huls is my answer. Maybe he knows how I can best achieve whatever it was I was put on this planet for.

I’ve had some awesome friends and mentors in life. Dick Huls, Alan Skuba, the former owner of KOWN, for whom I managed the radio station for seven years, Jean Truss, a beautiful and talented accountant with a great mind, Evelyn Madison, my partner in The Paper and close companion for over 20 years - (she’s smarter than me, is stronger than me, emotionally and physically, and works harder than I do) - Kevin Camperell, brilliant CPA, recently retired, Arie de Jong, brilliantly successful businessman, who has tried to retire - but can’t. He is constantly on the go and consistently either buys or starts a new business or investment, makes it a success, then moves on. (I spent a half day with Arie once. After four hours I was exhausted! (He is only a few months younger than me). He gave me a tour of several of his huge businesses, met with several of his staff, took me out to Melrose Ranch, his beautiful and huge estate, gave me the complete tour, always on the go, zipping from one place to another. An amazing man!

I’ve also learned a lot from Tim Cunning and Rick Pearson - both of whom are both wise in the world and funny as hell. When the three of us are together it’s guaranteed there will be laughter.

Tim is about to become Governor of Kiwanis Division 37. He’ll be the best Governor the Division has ever had.

Perhaps one of these pals will help me in my quest for my life’s mission.

We shall see where life leads me. I am willing to be led. **** How much is a trillion dollars?

Million, billion, trillion … all big numbers. A trillion is just a bigger number, right? True … but it may be bigger than you think. A million is hard enough to imagine, much less a billion. We need some perspective on what these unimaginable numbers really mean.

Let’s Measure a Trillion in Numbers We’ll start simple: how big is a trillion on paper?

1,000 = one thousand 1,000,000 = one million 1,000,000,000 = one billion 1,000,000,000,000 = one trillion A million is equal to a thousand thousands (1,000 x 1,000).

A billion is equal to a thousand millions (1,000 x 1,000,000).

MAN ABOUT TOWN See Page 9

JOKER From Page 1

Luke 6:21 etc.)

It is little wonder that our vast readership (here and beyond California) have made “Give Us This Day Our Daily Chuckle” their most popular column to read.

sage: I skateboarded. I skin-dived off the beautiful, world-famous La Jolla Shores (still do), and marveled at my older brother’s surfing skills (he was so adept at surfing that at one point he gave surfing lessons to gorgeous femme fatale California girls). I’m not certain to this day if they paid him for their lessons or if he paid them for the privilege.

Humour can often be unscripted and spur of the moment – and unintendWe California natives are just a ed. completely different species altoFor example, on one occasion in the gether. We think radically different unrehearsed interview for CBS TV-8 from residents of other states. We the following exchange took place act differently. We even talk a differwith my editor and TV news reporter ent type of English. Basically, other English speakers don’t understand Jeff Zevely: our English. In the sub-culture of Jeff Zevely: “Why did you name it “Surfer Speak” we often say things like: “How gnarly was that set, it The Paper?” had a wicked left break and I had to lyle e. davis (laughing): “It was just use my rails inside the barrel!” brilliant, creative thinking!”

But being a California boy, born and bred, also means I often offend Both exploded in laughter! other people who live elsewhere and Within the interview, Jeff Zevely are vacationing here. Oh, I never would fondly remark: “This is a pa- meant to offend anyone on purpose.

And that’s the God’s truth. It just per after my own heart.” came out that way from a 14-yearJoke-telling takes many forms, in- old Cal-bred beach bum that I was. cluding knock-knock jokes, riddles, I vividly recall when tourists were or funny commentary – the latter be- watching my beach friends and me ing the official genre of professional at Oceanside Pier cavorting about on surfboards and they would approach standup comedians, worldwide. us with some excitement. We asked Recently, as I enjoyed lunch with them where they were from. When some of my surfer friends in the out- anybody told us what state they door patio setting of Copper Kings were visiting from, my cohorts and Burgers at 925 W. San Marcos Blvd. I always asked the same question: in San Marcos, my bud Karl re- “Why do you live there?” marked on the intense, hot weather True story. everyone is experiencing.

Karl then unleashed a timely joke: One time a tourist from Rhode Island “It’s been so hot and so humid that came up to my skin-diving buddy, the other day I saw a dog chasing a Seamus Riley, and went off on him: cat . . . and they were both walking!”

“God! You Californians really piss Some jokes remain timeless, such as me off! Whenever I say I’m from this old classic chestnut which ap- Rhode Island, you guys just ask me peared in “Give Us This Day Our why?! Like, why do I live someDaily Chuckle” column: “Politi- where that isn’t in California?!” cians are like diapers, they need to be changed often and for the same We were all about 12 to 14-years-old at the time and just blinked back at reason.” him, totally confused.

As a native Californian, I can’t help puffing up like a stepped-on toad in To this day, we have no idea why boasting about my home state. Yep, anyone in Rhode Island would want there’s no mistaking California for to live in Rhode Island. any other state in the Union.

Chalk it up to the innocence of youth. We just didn’t know better.

Impossible.

How could we California boys ever You know you’re in California be able to comprehend how anyone when the fastest part of your morn- could possibly choose to live elseing commute is backing out of your where? It’s paradise here! driveway. And that even though you make over $250,000 a year, you still You know you’re a Californian becan’t afford a house. The only Cali- cause you can go to the beach in the fornia houses on the market for less middle of winter. You still have tan than a million dollars are those on lines in December. You begin most important sentences with “Dude.” fire.

And your parents live on two maThose currently go for six hundred jor fault lines and their house is still worth a million dollars. thousand dollars.

I love the California lifestyle. When Coincidentally, in California ‘surfI was 12 years old I went through er idiom,’ all your friends have the the obligatory California rite-of-pasJOKER See Page 8

The Paper • Page 8 • August 13, 2026

engaging in each of these activities.

If you like a girl, major pickup lines same first name: Dude. only in L. A. and San Diego are: “Wanna go to In-N-Out Burger?”

Californians are just vastly differ- or “I’ll always choose a spot behind ent folk. Inside-and-out. You often you in yoga class.” see tanned, bare-chested 80-yearold men jogging along the beach or California girls are movie-star beauin senior 5K events. Our culture is tiful, even after coming out of the far more different than, say, Kansas ocean surf, completely without from New York, or Seattle from Loumakeup on. Trust me, like the Beach isiana, Boston from Texas.

Boys song “California Girls,” I’ve JOKER From Page 7

Chicago television producer and comedy writer, Allan Sherman, pointed out in his book the vast difference with Californians when he wrote: “Adultery, which is the only grounds for divorce in New York, is not grounds for divorce in California. As a matter of fact, adultery in Southern California is grounds for marriage.”

Even the Frederick’s of Hollywood stores out here are vastly different from other Frederick’s of Hollywood stores around the country. New York’s syndicated columnist and author, Dave Barry, says Frederick’s of Hollywood stores (in California) have: “Lingerie so sheer that you can read the fine print of a ‘warranty tag’ through it -- in an unlit closet.”

Yup. California is far, far more different than other U.S. states are from each other.

In California, you can be moved to tears if you see a really great parking space next to Walmart. Also, if you’re in 3rd grade, your teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and her name is “Breeze.”

Home-grown Californians don’t like other people from different states trying to act or talk like us. Especially out-of-state girls who find it “trendy” to do a Valley Girl accent. Also, no true native Californian ever dares to refer to our state as “Cali.” The preferred slang for southern California is “SoCal.” Nor do we ever call San Francisco “Frisco,” despite what you see and hear in the movies.

Native Californians also consider flip-flops appropriate for most occasions. For weddings and funerals, we wear fancy sandals. But, even in the dead of winter, we have flip-flop tan lines on our feet.

Also, you know when you’re from California because your waiter is an out-of-work actor. And so is your car mechanic. And chiropractor. Also, everybody you know has written a screenplay.

Also, if you’re a surfer, you consider tacos and burritos major food groups.

And when abroad, you miss Mexican food more than family and friends.

You know you’re in California because you know how to surf, skin dive, skateboard, and chase skirts as well as what jargon to use when

genuinely been around the United States, Canada, Europe, Mexico, China, Philippines, and Japan – and nothing compares with our California beach bunnies!

It was through THE PAPER that I met my girlfriend Kimberly, whose sobriquet is “Blonde Surfer Girl.”

She can really rock a bikini and when I first saw her in one – I thought I was having a religious experience!

Kimberly affectionately refers to my editor lyle e. davis as “My Viking King” due to my editors’ Norwegian/ Viking roots. Kimberly is SwedishAmerican and has the very rare honour of being a natural blonde, lol true. (Only 2% to 5% of the total U.S. population is born with natural blonde hair.)

for girls to ask guys out.

5. Will the size of your breast implants hinder your ability to drive And you know you’re a Californian safely? because you’ve asked at least one female friend: “Are those real or 6. List brand of cell phone. fake?”

7. If you don’t own a cell phone, And by the way, a true California please explain. boy has no idea how to ride a public bus. The only people who ride 8. Females, check hair colour: buses in L. A. and San Diego are out- Blonde or Platinum Blonde. of-towners, transplants, domestic household workers, and people with 9. Teenagers, check hair colour: pending DUIs. If you do ever ride a Purple, Blue, Skinhead. bus, you’d be shocked at hearing two people carrying on a conversation in 10. Do you expect to shoot at other English. drivers?

Home-grown Californians also don’t know how to tolerate cold weather.

Particularly in L.A. and San Diego.

Cold weather makes us panic, especially when the temperature dips below 65. Anything below 65 has us staying indoors with the heater on.

11. Do you expect to be shot at by other drivers?

12. Please indicate your number of therapy sessions per week.

13. Are you presently taking Prozac, Zovirax, Lithium, Xanax, or Valium?

The California culture is just shockingly different than any other. For 14. If no medications, then please instance, at the DMV, all Southern explain.

California applications for a driver’s licence have the following questions: California history has long been the centre of the universe in the hippie counter-culture and the hub of the 1. Name and Stage Name? sexual revolution. Only in Califor2. Agent and Attorney? nia can you hear this type of conversation: I have been the luckiest person in 3. Sex: Male, Female, Formerly the world to have dated some of the Male, Formerly Female, Both.

Minister: “How many children do most beautiful girls in the world. you plan to have?”

Redheads, blue heads, purple heads, 4. If female, indicate breast implant brunettes, brownettes, blondes, and size.

Newlyweds: “Three. One of each.” platinum blondes. Also, it’s common And only California children truly hear and understand the unique language their California mothers use when being scolded at the dinner table: “You better eat your food! Do you realise there are people in Beverly Hills who have eating disorders?!”

My grandpa was a mega old-fashioned Californian and always talked about the “Good Ol’ Days” when he reminisces and says of his era: “Everybody knew who was gay -just two people: Liberace and Little Richard.”

For true Californians, born-and-bred, someone’s sexuality is not important to us. Honouring the American flag is. One of my best skin-diving buddies, Joey Stafford, always read and talked a lot about the American Civil War. But he had a wicked sense of humour. He said his great grandfather fell at Gettysburg . . . he tripped over one of the monuments there as a tourist.

My grandpa thought it was really cool when Ronald Reagan and Arnold Schwarzenegger both served as governor of California. Even though Reagan and Schwarzenegger weren’t native Californians – they made up for it by just being movies stars.

But grandpa liked California govJOKER See Page 12

The Paper • Page 9 • August 13, 2026

MAN ABOUT TOWN From Page 7

A trillion is equal to a thousand billions (1,000 x 1,000,000,000) or a million millions (1,000,000 x 1,000,000).

Let’s Measure a Trillion in Time How Long Ago Is a Trillion Seconds?

If you count backward, then: 1 million seconds = 12 days ago 1 billion seconds = 31 years ago 1 trillion seconds = 30,000 B.C. (give or take a decade or two) Let’s Measure a Trillion in Height How high is a trillion in $1000 bills?

If you stack a trillion-worth of $1000 bills together, then: 1 million dollars = 4 inches high 1 billion dollars = 364 feet high 1 trillion dollars = 63 miles high (give or take a foot or two) Note that this is a STACK, not laid endto-end.

Let’s Measure a Trillion in Money With about 305,000,000 people and 111,000,000 households in the U.S. $1 Million is 1¢ per household, $1 Billion is $3.28 per person and $9 per household, $1 Trillion is $3,280 per person and $9,000 per household If a person’s salary is $40,000 per year it would take: 25 years to earn $1 Million 25 Thousand years to earn $1 Billion, 25 Million years to earn $1 Trillion If you lived to be 80 years of age, to have: $1 Million you would have to save $34 each day of your life, $1 Billion you would have to save $34,000 each day of your life, $1 Trillion you would have to save $34 Million each day of your life. **** Of the young Americans who are of

military-service age, what percentage do you think are NOT actually eligible to serve because of obesity, lack of a high school education or a criminal conviction (or some combination of all 3)?

71%. That is not a typo.

We’re doomed. **** Had a rather pleasant experience yesterday.

Knocking out a lot of work in the office when the doorbell rang. Went to the door and there were two Mormon missionaries. They didn’t have to tell me they were Mormons. It’s pretty easy to spot them. Dark slacks, white shirts, usually short sleeved, a tie; well groomed, always polite.

Before they had a chance to introduce themselves I swung the door open and said, “Mormon Missionaries! Some of my favorite people! I’m not a Christian, but if I were, I think I’d become a Mormon. I really admire the faith. Come on in!”

They did. They sat down and we talked.

Didn’t talk religion. Told them I did not care to be prosletised but would love to visit with them. They respected that and we just had a nice old fashioned visit.

Elders Tippotts and Stoddard were their names. One was from Nebraska, the other, Utah. When I learned of the Nebraska native I immediately begin to sing . . . “There is no place like Nebraska, dear old Nebraska U . . .” he, of course, knew the song but to my great amazement, he was not a big football fan. Neither of them were.

Both were 18 months into their 24 month mission. The young man from Nebraska was going to enroll at BYU upon completing his mission, and study

Engineering. The other was going to Utah State and pursue a degree in business ad.

There are apparently around 30 missionaries in Escondido, each with their own assigned territory. I suggested one day that if they enjoyed Italian food we’d take them to Sorrento’s in San Marcos (a superb Italian eatery). They advised me that they weren’t allowed to go out of their assigned territory. Each missionary team has an area where they work and live. We respect that. There are plenty of good restaurants in Escondido.

I told them of a good friend of mine, Randy Knight, a salesman for Lexus of Escondido (and who sold me my great Toyota Avalon). His son is a missionary in Mexico and posts his diary on Facebook. I enjoy reading his accounts.

Both of these missionaries knew of the Knight family.

I asked them what happened when you had two missionaries who had personal conflicts. One didn’t like the other and vice versa. They said, “we just have to learn to deal with it.” Which is good.

That’s the real world and sometimes you have to deal with people who irritate you. Good, realistic training.

We poured them each a glass of apple juice, gave them each a bottle of water, and offered to take them to lunch on another day. (Mormon missionaries live on a very tight budget and are always hungry. We’re delighted to take them out and see to it they get a proper meal.) I also gave them my card and asked them to call me if they ever needed anything.

With that, I had to thank them for dropping by but had to excuse myself as I had work to do. Before leaving, they

asked if there was any jobs around the house that they could help us with. We didn’t . . . but shall keep them in mind.

(If Evelyn ever looks the other way for about three or four days, I shall enlist the Mormons to help me clean out the garage. Evelyn is a bit of a hoarder and won’t throw anything away! Between the two Mormons and myself, we just might get the garage sufficiently cleaned out that we can actually park our cars in there!)

Nice young lads.

I would urge you to, next time you spot a couple Mormon missionaries, pick them up and take them out for lunch.

Regardless of your religious persuasion, these are good kids and could use some help and companionship. They make a substantial (two-year) sacrifice as missionaries . . . all for something they believe in. In this day and age of greedy people, particularly politicians, who think of themselves first, and not others, I find that refreshing. We need more, not less, of that.

One man’s opinion. **** I seem to have struck a nerve with my little essay on End of Life Issues . . . a number of comments which shows a diversity of opinion and plans . . . I forward them here for your consideration: From Brenda Jones Burkett: When Allen and I married, one of our first things to do was to get our funeral plans taken care of. We opted for cremation. As you all know, I followed his instructions to sprinkle him in Monterey Bay. Made a major trip out of it MAN ABOUT TOWN See Page 12

Little changes can help you save more this summer.

Shift usage of larger appliances away from 4–9 pm when energy demand can be higher. Try a crockpot or toaster oven over a regular oven or crank up your fans and reduce your A/C usage.

Find more ways to stay comfortable and spend less at sdge.com/SimpleSteps ©2026 San Diego Gas & Electric Company. All copyright and trademark rights reserved.

Message funded by ratepayers.

SDGE_SeasonalPrep_LittleChanges_Print_PaperEscondido.indd 1

7/31/26 1:00 PM

The Paper • Page 10 • August 13, 2026

Our Triad

Pastor Huls When To Retire In our world today, there doesn’t seem to be a magic age for retirement. When President Franklin D. Roosevelt gave us the Social Security program in 1935, it was thought the average age of life expectancy was sixty. It isn’t so anymore. I have many friends who are over ninety and are still driving, living the good life in a retirement home, and taking extended cruise line trips. Their children are either taking care of them or have caregivers living with them. Special programs for older people are being offered by senior centers and even the Government. It almost seems that a certain segment of our society doesn’t want people to die. Retirement is out of the question.

And yet, hard decisions are being made every day for older people.

When a parent hears the words, “It is time for you to give up your car keys,” it is almost a death knell, or one can hear it from the DMV. The

By Pastor Huls next big moment comes when a son and ten or seventy years, or if by reaor daughter says, “You can’t live son of strength eighty years. We have alone anymore. We don’t want you bypassed that already, so what would to harm yourself or burn the house God say about that? It is time to write down.” This is all within the family a new Biblical chapter. There have context, and it happens every day. always been exceptions to the rule Much of society, however, controls of longevity. Abraham, well after the time for retirement. I have been his hundredth birthday, impregnates a part of much of it. I was told when a woman at least five times for an I had to retire from the military. Po- additional five children. I doubt that lice officers, firefighters, and many any woman or even man wants parbusiness positions have a time limit enthood in that age group. So what when working days are all over. Of is the answer? Death will take its toll course, there are exceptions. The air- before we have an answer. The Bible lines have a very restricted age for says, “Our days are numbered.” And retirement. Many pilots would just as yet, there seem to be a great many soon keep on flying. Many of these years to live before that number is decisions are based on health, ability, up. and the will to stay competent. But Before I try to answer, I share an the day comes for retirement. Now experience of an old jug found in the big question comes, “What do I the basement of my farm home in do? Often secondary and temporary Michigan. It contained a cleansing jobs are pursued. Hobbies are often substance called naphtha. The jug developed.

Long-dreamed-about was at least fifty years old and still things such as golf, fishing, travel- contained some naphtha. There was ing, and visiting family become the still use for naphtha, though long set consumption. Many times there is a aside and forgotten. As long as there struggle with being overweight, be- was some use in the jug, the jug was ing too sedentary, and being told to not thrown away. do something more than getting in Every human being has something to contribute regardless of age. We need the way of a spouse.

Finally, it becomes a religious issue. only to find it, though time might put Biblical studies are done to see if it aside - a touch, word, smile, deed, God has an answer. Various answers love, prayer, and any human gesture. have been given. In the early Biblical There is no time to retire as long as days, people lived for hundreds of there is a drop of naphtha in the jug. years. After the great flood of Noah, it was a hundred and twenty years.

Then in the Psalms it was three score

Pet Parade

San Diego Humane Society is supporting families and their pets who need a little extra help.

Through the Community Pet Pantry, anyone can visit our campuses to pick up a bag of dog or cat food, and other supplies, as available.

No appointment is needed for this service. Hours are Tuesday-Sunday from 10am to 6pm.

El Cajon 373 N. Marshall Ave. Escondido 3500 Burnet Drive Oceanside 572 Airport Road San Diego 5480 Gaines Street

Pet of the Week

Doohickey

Astrid

Doohickey is a 2-year-old, 20-pound, female, Terrier mix.

She was transferred to Rancho Costal Humane Society through Friends of County Animal Shelters (FOCAS).

Sit on the floor and you’ll have a Doohickey on your lap. She gives kisses, if it’s okay. She could be fine with kids 8 or older. She might like living in an apartment.

The $145 adoption fee for Doohickey includes spay, vaccinations, microchip, and a one-year license if her new home is in the jurisdiction of San Diego Humane Society. Adopt her during August and the fee will be waived during Clear the Shelters.

For more information visit Rancho Coastal Humane Society in Encinitas, call 760-753-6413, or log on to www.SDpets.org.

Open 11 to 4 every day but Tuesday.

Reminder: It’s Clear the Shelters Month! From August 1-30, adoption fees are 50% off for every single pet (except horses)!

Astrid is a sweet and friendly dog looking for a loving new home! According to her previous owner, she is a social companion who loves to play with other dogs and has previously done well living with both cats and children. Astrid also knows basic commands like “sit” and “stay,” which highlights her bright personality. Since she can sometimes struggle to contain her excitement, she would benefit from a family that can offer her a structured routine and positive outlets for her enthusiasm. Astrid flourishes in an environment that provides plenty of companionship, interactive play and the steady guidance she needs to be her best self.

She is ready to become a loyal and fun-loving member of her new family! Visit San Diego Humane Society’s Escondido Campus (3500 Burnet Drive) to adopt Astrid today! If you have questions about the adoption process, you can visit sdhumane.org or call 619-299-7012.

Online profile: sdhumane.org/adopt/available-pets/961493/astrid/

The Paper • Page 11 • August 13, 2026

his surrey and team and bought a model T.

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Getting through the period of transition!

In January of 1909 my Grandfather’s next door neighbor, Dr Irwin, bought a brand new Babcock Model A Surrey and two matched carriage horses for $2200. That same month Gramps bought a brand new Ford Model T Ford motorcar for $850. Every morning Doc Irwin got up early to hitch up his team in order to go to the office. While Dr. Irwin was finishing the hitch, Grandpa walked to the garage, started his car and waved at to the doctor as he drove off to work. In June Dr Irwin sold

The point of this story is that just like Dr Irwin’s surrey, our PCs are facing practical obsolescence.

New PC sales in the USA are dropping rapidly as private and business users see the “hand-writing on the wall”. Operating systems like Windows 11 will disappear as local computing becomes obsolete.

Users will be in 100% contact with the IW (intelligent web) and its integrated AI (artificial Intelligence) throughout their waking hours.

Mobile devices will have wearable screens. This transition will take place gradually over the next few years. Windows 11 will likely be the last operating system released for PCs. Constant Internet connection will part of everyday life.

What does this mean for PC users today? Any PC capable of running Windows 11 should be sufficient to get you through to the end of the “PC age”. Most PCs with at least an 8th gen Intel CPU or 3rd generation AMD CPU will run Windows 11 and get you there. Almost all PCs manufactured since 2018 are Windows 11 capable. Here are the alternatives for a business or home PC user?

you need to upgrade to Windows 11. If your PC was manufactured prior to 2018 it probably is not eligible for a Windows 11 upgrade. If you wish to stay current you need to purchase a Windows 11 capable PC now.

ability components that are not used in the cheaper “retail” models built for price competition in consumer markets. With solid state memory and drives, these late model “commercial grade” PCs have few moving components subject to wear.

For the last half century government agencies and corporations have regularly replaced their PCs on two to four year cycles in order to avoid potential problems caused by obsolescence and software incompatibilities. This practice has created a low cost reservoir of late model “professional” grade PCs with Window 11, ideal for use throughout the remaining lifespan of PCs. These “commercial” grade PCs have the expensive, high reli-

Our price for refurbished and fully configured refurbished late model 8th - 11th generation “commercial” PCs with Windows 11 Professional (desktop, laptop, All-in 0ne and micro) are typically in the five to six hundred dollar range depending on RAM count and CPU power rating.

If you have questions concerning your existing PC give us a call or bring it in for a no-cost evaluation.

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John Van Zante’s Critter Corner

Is it Possible to Clear the Shelters?

Animal shelters and rescues nationwide are joining paws with NBC and Telemundo TV stations for the 12th annual Clear the Shelters Pet Adoption and Donation Campaign. Hill’s Pet Nutrition is presenting this event through August 31st.

When I first heard about Clear the Shelters, I thought, “That’s what we try to do every day.” But the possibility of more adoptions convinced me it was worth a try.

We’re not saying, “Come get a free dog or cat.” But we hope that no fee or a lower fee is the incentive you need to visit a shelter or rescue to meet a pet who needs you.

In San Diego North County, participating organizations include Rancho Since the first Clear the Shelters in 2015, more than 1.3-million pets have Coastal Humane Society in Encinitas and Escondido-based Rescue Fenix found homes, and the campaign has raised more than $5.6 million. Proof and Soulmate Animal Rescue. that Americans support pet adoption and the There’s Tragic to Magic in Central San Diego work being done by their local shelters and County and Frosted Faces in East County. South rescues.

Bay partners include Chula Vista Animal Services, PAWS of Coronado, and Dulce Vida Rescue.

The money pays for surgeries to save the lives of sick and injured pets. It pays for Spays and And, of course, you can visit all of the San Diego Neuters, helping to control the pet population.

Humane Society campuses on Gaines Street, in This money funds microchips that reunite lost Escondido, Oceanside, and El Cajon. pets with their families, Humane Education for Children, and Foster Care for pets who are recovering from medical issues or just need some For more information about Clear the Shelters, intime to adjust to all the changes in their lives. cluding participating shelters, visit ClearTheShelters.com and the Spanish-language site DesocuDoes it help when we reduce or waive adoption parlosAlbergues.com. fees? Rancho Coastal Humane Society, PresiFollow Clear the Shelters on Facebook, Instagram dent and CEO Judi Sanzo says, ““We’re waivand TikTok. ing adoption fees for adult animals throughout August. Our standard adoption protocols reIs it possible to Clear the Shelters? We’ll never main the same, but we hope waived fees will know if we don’t try. encourage more families to welcome new pets into their homes.”

The Paper • Page 12 • August 13, 2026

JOKER From Page 8

ernor, Arnold Schwarzenegger best (2003-2011). When I asked him why, grandpa shifted his weight and said, “Well, when Schwarzenegger was governor we didn’t have any earthquakes.”

worse when he blurted out: “I made a misstatement and I stand by all my misstatements!”

It was during this apologetic that he managed to, somehow, dig himself still deeper into a verbal hole when And speaking of earthquakes, they he made the excuse: don’t bother California natives – we use earthquakes to help stir our cof- “We don’t want to go back to tomorfee. Or if you’re with a voluptuous, row, we want to move forward.” buxom female friend, a 4.3 magnitude earthquake can visually make By this time, Dan Quayle had beyour day. come a genuine hero to grandpa and grandma and they could hardly wait A comedian once said: “The Cali- to attend one of his gnarly campaign fornia lifestyle is so unique that Cal- rallies if he ever had a stopped-over ifornia now plans to have their own in San Diego! Unfortunately for my airline called ‘Hooter’s Airlines’ grandparents, he never did. with Hooter girls as stewardesses.

Hooter’s Airlines will be the only Speaking on behalf of the United airline where passengers will actu- Negro College Fund, whose motto ally pray for turbulence.” is, “A mind is a terrible thing to waste,” Quayle commented to a As a California boy, I was never a thunderstruck gathering (and a nareligious sort. But, I always thought tional televised audience): it was cool that the Pope sometimes wore a white, 3-foot high cone- “What a terrible thing to have lost shaped hat with embedded rhine- one’s mind. Or, not to have a mind stones on it. When I was 8 years old at all. How true that is.” my friend, Jimmy Langston, said that the Pope once came to San Di- That’s when my grandpa said he shot ego (he never did) and that his tall, out of his sofa chair and shouted out cone-shaped hat blew-off when he loudly (scaring both grandma and was jet-skiing on San Diego’s Mis- the cat): “IS THAT BOY FROM sion Bay. CALIFORNIA OR WHAT?!”

Jimmy swore on a stack of Bibles California youth can be the source that the Pope’s cone-shaped hat was of great mischief, with full intent -never found. but from what I gather, I don’t think Dan Quayle truly intended to throw I believed him, and every time my a bag of rattlesnakes into a crowd of parents picnicked at Ski Beach, I al- people every time he spoke. ways took time to look for it.

By the way, Dan Quayle’s dubious “THE GREAT CALIFORNIA RE- talent for making speeches tickled MARK.” an entire nation of Americans. To the point where “Dan Quayle CalenGrandpa said that when Dan Quayle dars” were selling like skateboards, was running for U. S. President in with each calendar-month carrying 2000 he and grandma were con- a true-life verbal mistake by Mr. vinced that Quayle was (really) a na- Quayle, along with the place and tive Californian when he said gnarly date of its utterance. things, like: “I love California -- I practically grew up in Phoenix.”

Because of Dan Quayle’s odd speeches, grandpa became ever(My research confirms that he actu- more convinced that he was really ally said that in a speech to Califor- a reformed California surfer. My nia delegates way back on 17 Au- grandpa even sent away for a Dan gust 1988, prior to becoming Vice Quayle calendar and my dad said he President in 1989.) read the January quote out loud to everyone: Yeah, I know, in doing the research it still didn’t make any sense to us “The Holocaust was an obscene peCalifornians, either. riod in our nation’s history. No, not our nation’s, but in World War II. I But granddad said everybody loved mean, we all lived in this century. I Dan Quayle because – as my grand- didn’t live in this century, but in this pa bragged: “He makes Porky Pig century’s history.” sound eloquent!”

(I Googled it and the above speech Poor Dan Quayle. was given at a Press Conference on 15 September 1988. Also, printed History says he never recovered in The New Yorker on 10 October from his stranger-than-strange Cal- 1988, page 102. Also, later paraifornia-Phoenix remark. phrased in Esquire Magazine, August 1992 issue.)

He tried valiantly to rectify his California-Phoenix mistake, but, Perhaps the unique California air in backing-up he inadvertently was too intoxicating for such a nonknocked over another apple cart JOKER See Page 14 and only managed to make matters

MAN ABOUT TOWN From Page 9

and saw everybody in his family and friends over 19 days of driving. Making your plans ahead is a great way to “go”.

From regular reader and good friend, Jim Kuden: You letter this morning is both timely and interesting Lyle.

I am 90 plus.

My carcass is going to the U C San Diego School of Medicine -- they even pick me up -- no charge.

They use the body for 18 months -whatever is left they turn into ashes and bury at sea. No pickup charge up to 200 miles.

Query -- in your estate planning --- do you have more than one person making and carrying out your final decisions for you?

If you do -- please consider changing it to one person and one or two back ups.

Call me if you want to know more.

Jim Comment from lyle: I had forgotten this option. Another good friend, the late physician and surgeon, Dr. Bill Boyce, also donated his body to the UC San Diego School of Medicine. He told his wife, former Escondido Councilmember and Mayor, Lorraine Boyce, “when I was going to medical school I had the opportunity of learning anatomy thanks to cadavers from people who had donated their bodies to science. Seems only fair I do the same.”

Former Escondido City Clerk, Jeanne Bunch: Thank you for sharing this Lyle. It gives many of us much to think about. I want cremation and my husband wants burial. That’s as far as we’ve gotten. He’s a veteran also so Miramar would probably be his choice.

After over 53 years of marriage I would qualify for Miramar also. You’ve given me much to think about.

Former Escondido City Councilman (now living in Alabama), Kris Murphy: Roman or Viking funeral for me. Put me on top of a 10 foot stack of wood.

Ashes to ashes Reply from lyle; Lyle E Davis Well, okay . . . but is it okay if we use plywood? (It’s cheaper, you know). And, about those Crocs . . . will they be part of your estate or do they go too? And do we put the funeral pyre on a boat or is it to be on land? . . . On a more serious, do the Mormons have a prescribed funeral procedure? I had friends who had a son who drowned and they invited me to the funeral. Did not seem all that different to me from a nonMormon funeral.

Response from Kris: Lyle E Davis I will be burned wearing a T-shirt, shorts and wearing Crocs, no socks. LDS funerals are same as other religions. Cremation is not recommended... but I don’t want my body turning into a puddle of mush and goo inside a metal box.

Response from lyle; I’ve left instructions that they do not need to bathe my body, shave me, comb my hair, or dress me up. Whatever I was wearing when I passed that’s my final attire (probably shorts, sport shirt and Birkenstock sandals). No open casket, no viewing, just put me in a box, transport me, bury me, and get on with your life.

From writer, Richard “Pete” Peterson: My son and oldest daughter will.scatter my ashes on a certain baseball field after My Bride of Many Summers has given directions to the Body Burners, assuming of course she is not too busy

planning her own wedding now that she’s free of Yours Truly, Peterson the All American Boy. From cousin-in-law, Dustin Stevens: I respect your religious wishes, like Pastor Dick Huls But Facebook has helped bring us closer. And I sure want to see you in Heaven and continue on in paradise. It’ll be great there. But, all respect. You’re a great guy and happy we’re related. I enjoyed reading this.

Sometimes, we have to think about these arrangements sooner than expected. I’ve played the piano for many funerals, working with families. Having arrangements setup ahead of time is one of the best things a person can do for their family/friends. Good planning at any age is a smart move. As always, blessings to you. **** Why hold a sale with great merchandise marked 40 to 80% off and then have no one available to service arriving costumers?

Just one more reason why I HATE to shop!

Even when shopping for myself.

Lemme ‘splain you.

I finally decided to bite the bullet and buy a whole new wardrobe. For years my wardrobe has consisted largely of tennis shorts, polo shirt, Birkenstock sandals. That was both formal wear and casual wear.

I decided it was time to buy (a) long pants, (b) a sport jacket or two, (c) at least one pair of new shoes, (d) several pair of socks to go with the new shoes, and, (e) two or three short sleeve shirts.

I was prepared to spend $1000, maybe $1200, maybe even $1500.

Clever lad that I am I first consulted my trusty computer and sought out stores that carried the shoes I was interested in, black and brown tasseled loafers.

Penny’s and Macy’s had them. Or so the computer said.

Off to Westfield Shopping Plaza with my ex-wife Mary.

Arrived at Penny’s, checked out the shoe department. Not one sales person in sight. Walked up and down the shoe rack rows - did not see the shoes I wanted. Moved over to the Men’s Wear department. Found a lovely dark blue blazer - needed to see if they had it in my size and, if not, did they have a tailor to alter it? Nary a soul available to inquire. Saw a number of other sports jackets that looked like possibilities.

Same with sports shirts. Still, no one assist me.

Fed up, I left that department; stopped and got three samples of men’s cologne from a different department to take home with me. Mary f0und a purse she liked. $69, discounted to $20. Pretty good buy. I bought it for her.

Before we left the house she said, “I’ve nae money.”

Sez me, “You don’t need any. You’ve got the daddy. I’ll buy you whatever you need and want.”

(Mary is legally not able to access her bank account. I’m her court appointed conservator and have to take care of all her finances).

Net sale to Penny’s? $20. They lost several hundred, perhaps a thousand dollars in sales from me.

Hopped in the car and drove to the other end of the shopping center to visit Macy’s (too far too just walk. I have a bad back and long walks become difMAN ABOUT TOWN See Page 13

The Paper • Page 13 • August 13, 2026

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ficult for me).

Macy’s had lots of sales people available, very friendly, very helpful. What a change! And they, too, had great discount sales.

Went to the shoe department and while the computer said they had the shoes I wanted they were out of stock. But they ordered them for me. Bought two pair of loafers. About $150.

Saw a number of sport coats that looked good, as well as slacks and sport shirts.

But I was tired and decided to call it a day and head home.

Tomorrow? I’ll head right back to Macy’s and finish buying my new wardrobe.

I’m wondering if Penny’s will go the way of Sears and have to close a number of stores. If the lack of service is any indicator I’m betting they will not survive.

Once I finish my shopping, hopefully by tomorrow, I will have completed my wardrobe (and shopping) for another half century.

What fun. ****

Things are entirely too peaceful and quiet here. So let us discuss a sometimes controversial topic.

Medical marijuana.

I, being in the media for for almost 60 years, have been trained as, and have become, a skeptic. Show me the facts, ma’am, just the facts.

I was skeptical about the benefit of medical marijuana and, specifically, cannabis oil.

No more.

Long time readers of my “stuff” will recall that I fell and broke my shoulder almost one year ago. I’m fine now but for about two/three months I had terrible pain as the muscles and cartilage elements were slow to heal and my range of motion was very limited. (The bone itself healed fairly quickly - it was the muscles/cartilage that took time and that were so painful).

Lots of Ibuprofen (which is not good for the kidneys); I stayed away from Vicodine and other opioids. One doctor gave me some Oxycotin and it damn near killed me. Will never touch that stuff again.

Finally, a beautiful red head who is in real estate in Escondido learned of my pain. She has a husband who is termi-

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nally ill and in hospice. She dropped by the house and gave me a bottle of cannabis oil.

I told her I was very hesitant. I am a former heavy smoker (20 years ago), finally quit and didn’t want to return to smoking anything; I also had smoked grass, also about 20 years ago - knew what it felt like to get high, don’t regret having smoked grass, but just chose to not smoke it anymore. She patiently explained that you didn’t smoke cannabis oil, that you placed two or three drops under your tongue, that this cannabis oil did NOT have TCH - the element in marijuana that gets you high (though you can buy cannabis oil WITH TCH).

It simply relieves pain.

Reluctantly, I gave it a try.

I am a skeptic no longer.

Within an hour my shoulder pain dissipated and then disappeared.

I would take a couple of drops a day if and when needed. Not addictive at all.

In time, the muscles and ligaments/

JOHN

cartilage finally healed and today I am fine.

Several months later I developed a kidney stone. Removed surgically. Up to the time of surgery, however, I would occasionally rely upon my new found friend, cannabis oil, to alleviate the discomfort/pain of Mr. Stone.

In off the record discussions with my physicians they knew of the palliative effects of cannabis oil and while they had no objection to it, they were unable to legally prescribe it at that time. I believe that situation is slowly changing.

Everyone has to make their own decision. Something to at least consider if and when you and/or your loved ones are in pain.

I have zero pain right now but have my bottle of cannabis oil sitting on my desk, readily available if and when needed.

End of lecture for this Friday.

Ciao!

The Paper • Page 14 • August 13, 2026

JOKER From Page 12

Though he profusely apologised, it California resident as Dan Quayle, was too late, the whole world knew who was from Indiana. After all, Rush Limbaugh’s viewpoint on femshortly afterward he hollered to the inine beauty as being unmatched in the Golden State of California. press corps:

gan working at Sea World during the summer, a dream come true.

Even at a young age we knew Southern California was a most rare place, where you could either surf or snow ski – in the same afternoon.

“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the His apology was akin to trying to put environment! It’s the impurities in squeezed-out toothpaste back into I like what Kim Stanley Robinson wrote in his multi-award winning our air and water that are doing it!” the tube.

“Three California Trilogy.”

For all its follies, twists, eccentrici(Quoted in the Los Angeles Times, ties, and humorous turns, for over On his drive from UCSD here in San 21 May 1989. Google.)

60 years now, California remains the Diego County to Orange County to CALIFORNIA GIRLS ALMOST most populated state in all of Amer- visit his parents, these words of inspiration suddenly came upon him GOT THE MIGHTY RUSH LIM- ica – by far. like an epiphany: BAUGH FIRED! In all respects, California is remarkAs with Dan Quayle’s speeches, able. If California were a (country) – “I grew up in a utopia. I did. Calijust the topic of California has been it would be the 5th largest economic fornia when I was a child was a known to, inadvertently, get high- country on Earth with its staggering child’s paradise. I was healthy, well $4-trillion economy – ahead of the fed, well clothed, well housed. I profile people into deep trouble.

United Kingdom, France, Russia, went to school and there were librarFor example, it even happened to the and India – which is a most intoxi- ies with all the world in them, and aflate, popular radio host, Rush Lim- cating fact to ponder. Occasionally ter school I played in orange groves it fluctuates as the 4th largest econo- and in Little League and in the band baugh (1951-2021). and down at the beach and every day my, ahead of Japan! was an adventure . . . I grew up in America’s most powerful and highhttps://www.worlddata. utopia.” est-rated radio talk show, “The Rush (Source: Limbaugh Show,” was the scene of info/largest-economies.php) Through all of this, the sweet and the another great “California Remark.”

As a native California boy who spent sour of life, some things just never Thinking his radio’s studio micro- seemingly endless summers horse- change with the years: all these phone was turned off, Rush Lim- back riding in the beautiful Cuyama- golden memories. baugh, a resident of Palm Beach, ca Mountains, or snorkeling (skin Florida, allegedly quipped ‘live’ on diving) in the great Pacific (largest All wrapped up, in the California ocean on Earth), and while snor- Dream. the air: keling -- exploring the 75-million“Have you ever noticed that the far- year-old La Jolla Caves (all 7 caves, ther west you go, the prettier the girls except for one, are only accessible from the ocean, not by land) -- life become?” was breathtaking for a little boy and What a bombshell that proved to be his coterie of surfer and skin diving when he unknowingly spoke into a mates! hot mic. Limbaugh, who was ostensibly speaking, particularly, of Cali- I remember paddle-boarding on fornia girls, quickly apologised to warm moonlit evenings on San Dihis loyal (non-California) fan-base ego’s Mission Bay with my teen which was deeply offended from all friends. Under the bright moonlight, over the United States, especially we’d talk of how we were living the from New York where Rush Lim- California Dream. baugh’s radio show first originated And as soon as I turned 16 -- I beat WABC New York City.

OODLES From Page 3

www.sanmarcosca.gov/seniors Mondays 12:30 to 3:30 Adults of all skill levels are welcome. *** Table Tennis at the Park Avenue Community Center Calling all seniors age 50 and over, join us every Monday and Wednesday 1-3 pm. Everyone welcome – beginning to advanced level players. No sign-ups, no registration, just show up, play for free, and have fun!!

Park Avenue Community Center 210 E Park Avenue Escondido, 92025 *** Chess at Park Avenue Community Center Home of Escondido Senior Center 210 Park Avenue, Escondido 760-839-4688 Adults of all skill levels are welcome.

Drop in anytime Wednesday OR Friday noon-3pm to play or watch in the shuffleboard building. Follow the signs or ask at the front desk for directions. Friendly games with large boards and pieces provided. No fees or reservations. *** The Catholic Widows, Widowers and Singles of North County The Catholic Widows, Widowers and Singles of North County, a group for those who desire to foster friendships through various social activities, will hold these events.

All single Catholics are now welcomed.

Reservations are required 760 4381472. For additional information regarding our organization, see www. cwwsnc.com.

Friedrich Gomez

LEGALS FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9012917 Fictitious Business Name(s): THE CUP DROP Located at: 18236 AVENIDA VENUSTO UNIT B SAN DIEGO, CA 92128 County of San Diego This business is registered by the following: DAISY JANNETTE RUIZ 18236 AVENIDA VENUSTO UNIT B SAN DIEGO, CA 92128 This business is conducted by AN INDIVIDUAL Registrant has not yet begun to transact business under the fictitious name(s) listed above. /s/ DAISY JANNETTE RUIZ This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on JUNE 09, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER 07/23, 07/30, 08/06, 8/13/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9015546 Fictitious Business Name(s): THE HAIR LOFT Located at: 5617 PASEO DEL NORTE STE 200 CARLSBAD, CA 92008 County of San Diego MAILING ADDRESS: 3760 VISTA CAMPANA S UNIT 65, OCEANSIDE, CA 92057

This business is registered by the following: HIROKO / NORMAN 3760 VISTA CAMPANA S UNIT 65 OCEANSIDE, CA 92057 This business is conducted by AN INDIVIDUAL Registrant has not yet begun to transact business under the fictitious name(s) listed above. /s/ HIROKO / NORMAN This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on JULY 15, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER 07/23, 07/30, 08/06, 8/13/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9015656 Fictitious Business Name(s): BRENDA’S LOVELY TREASURES Located at: 1074 GRAPE ST, SAN MARCOS, CA 92069 County of San Diego This business is registered by the following: BRENDA LORRENE TOWNSEND 1074 GRAPE ST, SAN MARCOS, CA 92069 This business is conducted by AN INDIVIDUAL Registrant has not yet begun to transact business under the fictitious name(s) listed above. /s/ BRENDA L TOWNSEND This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk

on JULY 16, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER 07/23, 07/30, 08/06, 8/13/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9014890 Fictitious Business Name(s): ANGEL WINGS ON CALL Located at: 525 W EL NORTE PKWY, SPC 159, ESCONDIDO, CA 92026 County of San Diego This business is registered by the following: AMELIA H CARLTON 525 W EL NORTE PKWY, SPC 159, ESCONDIDO, CA 92026 This business is conducted by AN INDIVIDUAL Registrant has not yet begun to transact business under the fictitious name(s) listed above. /s/ AMELIA H CARLTON This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on JULY 07, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER 07/23, 07/30, 08/06, 8/13/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9015270 Fictitious Business Name(s): AQUAPURE WATER COMPANY Located at: 900 EAST VISTA WAY, VISTA, CA

92084 County of San Diego This business is registered by the following: JEFF JAY JOHNSON 900 EAST VISTA WAY, VISTA, CA 92084 This business is conducted by AN INDIVIDUAL Registrant first began to transact business under the name(s) above as of: 10/05/2005. /s/ JEFF JAY JOHNSON This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on JULY 10, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER 07/23, 07/30, 08/06, 8/13/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9013563 Fictitious Business Name(s): GLOAMHAVEN SOAPWORKS Located at: 3544 STARBOARD CIR, OCEANSIDE, CA 92054 County of San Diego This business is registered by the following: SHANE ALLEN-KOEPKE 3544 STARBOARD CIR, OCEANSIDE, CA 92054 This business is conducted by AN INDIVIDUAL Registrant has not yet begun to transact business under the fictitious name(s) listed above. /s/ SHANE ALLENKOEPKE

This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on JUNE 17, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER 07/23, 07/30, 08/06, 8/13/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9014487 Fictitious Business Name(s): SAN DIEGO WINE & BEER CO. SAN DIEGO WINE AND BEER Located at: 7080 MIRAMAR RD STE 100, SAN DIEGO, CA 92121 County of San Diego This business is registered by the following: SAN DIEGO WINE CO. INC. 7080 MIRAMAR RD STE 100, SAN DIEGO, CA 92121 This business is conducted by A CORPORATION Registrant first began to transact business under the name(s) above as of: 9/14/2016 /s/ JONETTE FRANCKE, CFO/SECRETARY This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on JULY 01, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER 07/23, 07/30, 08/06, 8/13/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9015835 Fictitious Business Name(s):

NIKZAD AUTO LOCKSMITH Located at: 3883 MESA DRIVE, APT 207 OCEANSIDE, CA 92056-5507 County of San Diego This business is registered by the following: MOHAMMAD MOHSED NIKZAD 3883 MESA DRIVE, APT 207 OCEANSIDE, CA 92056 This business is conducted by AN INDIVIDUAL Registrant has not yet begun to transact business under the fictitious name(s) listed above. /s/ MOHAMMAD MOHSEN NIKZAD This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on JULY 20, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER 07/23, 07/30, 08/06, 8/13/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9015522 Fictitious Business Name(s): FAN LOTS Located at: 330 RANCHEROS DR, SUITE 118, SAN MARCOS, CA 92069 County of San Diego MAILING: 531 AVENIDA AGUILA, SAN MARCOS, CA 92069 This business is registered by the following: RICHARD GIAMMARINARO III 531 AVENIDA AGUILA, SAN MARCOS, CA 92069

The Paper • Page 15 • August 13, 2026

LEGALS

PHIL PELUSO 531 AVENIDA AGUILA, SAN MARCOS, CA 92069 This business is conducted by COPARTNERS Registrant has not yet begun to transact business under the fictitious name(s) listed above. /s/ RICHARD GIAMMARINARO III This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on JULY 15, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER 07/23, 07/30, 08/06, 8/13/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9014000 Fictitious Business Name(s): GASPAR PRO CLEANING Located at: 4113 54TH PLACE APT 307 SAN DIEGO, CA 92105 County of San Diego This business is registered by the following: GASPAR MIGUEL ESPIRIDION 4113 54th PLACE APT 307 SAN DIEGO, CA 92105 This business is conducted by AN INDIVIDUAL Registrant first began to transact business under the name(s) above as of: 6/01/2026 /s/ GASPAR MIGUEL ESPIRIDION This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on JUNE 24, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER 07/30, 08/06, 8/13, 8/20/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9015850 Fictitious Business Name(s): EVERSUN BRANDS, INC. Located at: 1784 LA COSTA MEADOWS DRIVE, STE 101, SAN MARCOS, CA 92078 County of San Diego This business is registered by the following: EVERSUN BRANDS 1784 LA COSTA MEADOWS DRIVE, STE 101, SAN MARCOS, CA 92078 This business is conducted by A CORPORATION Registrant first began to transact business under the name(s) above as of: 10/07/2025 /s/ FARAJE KHARSA, CEO This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on JULY 20, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER 07/30, 08/06, 8/13, 8/20/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9015962 Fictitious Business Name(s): SCD PLUMBING Located at: 415 E INDIAN ROCK ROAD #321 VISTA, CA 92084 County of San Diego This business is registered by the following: RUFINO PEREZ REYES 415 E INDIAN ROCK ROAD #321 VISTA, CA 92084 This business is conducted by AN INDIVIDUAL Registrant has not yet begun to transact business under the fictitious name(s) listed above. /s/ RUFINO PEREZ REYES This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on JULY 21, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER 07/30, 08/06, 8/13, 8/20/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9015926 Fictitious Business Name(s): HOWARD PROPERTY MANAGEMENT HOWARD WEST COAST REALTY Located at: 1751-223 W CITRACDO PKWY ESCONDIDO, CA 92029 County of San Diego Mailing Address: 970 W VALLEY PKWY #601, ESCONDIDO, CA 92025 This business is registered by the following: NANCY KATHRYN HOWARD 970 W VALLEY PKWY #601, ESCONDIDO, CA 92025 ROBERT FRANKLIN HOWARD 1751-223 W CITRACDO PKWY ESCONDIDO, CA 92029 This business is conducted by A MARRIED COUPLE Registrant first began to transact business under the name(s) above as of: 9/20/2013 /s/ NANCY KATHRYN HOWARD This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on JULY 21, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER 07/30, 08/06, 8/13, 8/20/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9015834

Fictitious Business Name(s): EASY RIDING ARENAS Located at: 1128 N BROADWAY #H, ESCONDIDO, CA 92026 County of San Diego This business is registered by the following: MIGUEL G. GARCIA 1128 N BROADWAY #H, ESCONDIDO, CA 92026 This business is conducted by AN INDIVIDUAL Registrant first began to transact business under the name(s) above as of: 7/20/2026 /s/ MIGUEL G. GARCIA This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on JULY 20, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER 07/30, 08/06, 8/13, 8/20/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9015941 Fictitious Business Name(s): SUSAN LANCI DESIGNS CANARI CYCLE WEAR SHEBEEST Located at: 1392 POINSETTIA AVE STE B, VISTA, CA 92081-8507 County of San Diego This business is registered by the following: LEEMARC INDUSTRIES LLC 1392 POINSETTIA AVE STE B, VISTA, CA 92081-8507 This business is conducted by A LIMITED LIABILITY COMPANY Registrant first began to transact business under the name(s) above as of: 7/15/2026 /s/ SCOT ROBINSON, CEO This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on JULY 21, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER 07/30, 08/06, 8/13, 8/20/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9016767 Fictitious Business Name(s): CHARA THERAPEUTIC SERVICES Located at: 1132 SAN MARINO DR., STE 204, SAN MARCOS, CA 92078 County of San Diego This business is registered by the following: CHARA MATSUO WARD 1132 SAN MARINO DR., STE 204, SAN MARCOS, CA 92078 This business is conducted by AN INDIVIDUAL Registrant first began to transact business under the name(s) above as of: 08/01/2016 /s/ CHARA MATSUO WARD This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on JULY 31, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER, 08/06, 8/13, 08/20, 08/27/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9012199 Fictitious Business Name(s): THE HEALING SHADE Located at: 2213 S. EL CAMINO REAL, SUITE 107, OCEANSIDE, CA 92054 County of San Diego Mailing: 1108 PHEASANT CT, SAN MARCOS, CA 92078 This business is registered by the following: TAMARA REYZIN 1108 PHEASANT CT, SAN MARCOS, CA 92078 This business is conducted by AN INDIVIDUAL Registrant first began to transact business under the name(s) above as of: 06/01/2026 /s/ TAMARA REYZIN This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on JUNE 01, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER, 08/06 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9015962 Fictitious Business Name(s): SCD PLUMBING Located at: 415 E INDIAN ROCK ROAD #321, VISTA, CA 92084 County of San Diego This business is registered by the following: RUFINO PEREZ REYES 415 E INDIAN ROCK ROAD #321, VISTA, CA 92084 This business is conducted by AN INDIVIDUAL Registrant has not yet begun to transact business under the fictitious name(s) listed above. /s/ RUFINO PEREZ REYES This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on JULY 21, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER, 08/06, 8/13, 08/20, 08/27/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT

FBN# 2026-9015817 Fictitious Business Name(s): MARKOLE Located at: 2517 VALMONTE GLN, ESCONDIDO, CA 92029 County of San Diego This business is registered by the following: AI BRAND DNA LLC 2517 VALMONTE GLN, ESCONDIDO, CA 92029 This business is conducted by A LIMITED LIABILTY COMPANY Registrant first began to transact business under the name(s) above as of: 08/01/2025. /s/ ROGER GREGORY, MANAGING PARTNER This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on JULY 20, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER, 08/06, 8/13, 08/20, 08/27/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9016419 Fictitious Business Name(s): JUST RELENT Located at: 3153 VISTA RICA, CARLSBAD, CA 92009 County of San Diego This business is registered by the following: JAKE PATRICK CURRY 3153 VISTA RICA, CARLSBAD, CA 92009 This business is conducted by AN INDIVIDUAL Registrant first began to transact business under the name(s) above as of: 07/28/2026. /s/ JAKE PATRICK CURRY This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on JULY 28, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER, 08/06, 8/13, 08/20, 08/27/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9013952 Fictitious Business Name(s): HAMDI WHOLESALERS Located at: 1338 N MELROSE AVE STE M, VISTA, CA 92083 County of San Diego This business is registered by the following: SHADI HAMDI 1338 N MELROSE AVE STE M, VISTA, CA 92083 This business is conducted by AN INDIVIDUAL Registrant first began to transact business under the name(s) above as of: 06/23/2026. /s/ SHADI HAMDI This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on JUNE 23, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER, 08/06, 8/13, 08/20, 08/27/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9014941 Fictitious Business Name(s): RAIN THE SKIN METHOD Located at: 910 W SAN MARCOS BLVD, SUITE 210, SAN MARCOS, CA 92078 County of San Diego This business is registered by the following: CORI ANNE DASINGER 910 W SAN MARCOS BLVD, SUITE 210, SAN MARCOS, CA 92078 This business is conducted by AN INDIVIDUAL Registrant has not yet begun to transact business under the fictitious name(s) listed above. /s/ CORI ANNE DASINGER This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on JULY 07, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER, 08/06, 8/13, 08/20, 08/27/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9015850 Fictitious Business Name(s): EVERSUN BRANDS, INC. Located at: 1784 LA COSTA MEADOWS DRIVE, SUITE 101, SAN MARCOS, CA 92078 County of San Diego This business is registered by the following: EVERSUN BRANDS 1784 LA COSTA MEADOWS DRIVE, SUITE 101, SAN MARCOS, CA 92078 This business is conducted by A CORPORATION Registrant first began to transact business under the name(s) above as of: 10/07/2025 /s/ FARAJE KHARSA, CEO This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on JULY 20, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER, 08/06, 8/13, 08/20, 08/27/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT

FBN# 2026-9016340 Fictitious Business Name(s): COVENANT BUILDERS Located at: 209 NORTH DITMAR STREET, OCEANSIDE, CA 92054 County of San Diego Mailing: 979 WOODLAND PKWY, STE 101 #2026, SAN MARCOS, CA 92069 This business is registered by the following: MMDAG CONSULTING LLC 979 WOODLAND PKWY, STE 101 #2026, SAN MARCOS, CA 92069 This business is conducted by A LIMITED LIABILITY COMPANY Registrant has not yet begun to transact business under the fictitious name(s) listed above. /s/ MIRJANA DJOKICH, MEMBER This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on JULY 27, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER, 08/06, 8/13, 08/20, 08/27/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9016847 Fictitious Business Name(s): TRADE NARRATIVE VELLUM&VICE 21ST CENTURY ELECTRICS Located at: 270 N EL CAMINO REAL STE F201, ENCINITAS, CA 92024 County of San Diego This business is registered by the following: PAUL HARRY BUSSELL 7040 AVENIDA ENCINAS #104, CARLSBAD, CA 92011 This business is conducted by AN INDIVIDUAL Registrant first began to transact business under the name(s) above as of: 08/03/2026 /s/ PAUL HARRY BUSSELL This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on AUG 03, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER, 08/06, 8/13, 08/20, 08/27/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9016541 Fictitious Business Name(s): 9TH MAN SOCIAL CLUB ONE NATION Located at: 235 VISTA VILLAGE DR #1105, VISTA, CA 92083 County of San Diego This business is registered by the following: ROBERT ERWIN HOLLEY 235 VISTA VILLAGE DR #1105, VISTA, CA 92083 This business is conducted by AN INDIVIDUAL Registrant has not yet begun to transact business under the fictitious name(s) listed above. /s/ ROBERT ERWIN HOLLEY This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on JULY 29, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER, 08/06, 8/13, 08/20, 08/27/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9015864 Fictitious Business Name(s): QUERIDA SKIN STUDIO Located at: 5617 PASEO DEL NORTE, #200 SUITE #6, CARLSBAD, CA 92008 County of San Diego Mailing: 1051 W. EL NORTE PARKWAY, APT 44, ESCONDIDO, CA 92026 This business is registered by the following: ANNETTE COVARRUBIAS 1051 W. EL NORTE PARKWAY, APT 44, ESCONDIDO, CA 92026 This business is conducted by AN INDIVIDUAL Registrant has not yet begun to transact business under the fictitious name(s) listed above. /s/ ANNETTE COVARRUBIAS This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on JULY 20, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER, 08/06, 8/13, 08/20, 08/27/2026 -NOTICE OF PETITION TO ADMINISTER ESTATE OF: Deborah Ann Lyon a/k/a Deb Lyon CASE NUMBER: 26PE001964C To all heirs, beneficiaries, creditors, contingent creditors, and persons who may otherwise be interested in the will or estate, or both of Deborah Ann Lyon a/k/a Deb Lyon. A Petition for Probate has been filed by Denise Haunert-Marshall in the Superior Court of California, County of San Diego.

The Petition for Probate requests that Denise Haunert-Marshall be appointed as personal representative to administer the estate of the decedent.

The petition requests the decedent’s will and codicils, if any, be admitted to probate. The will and any codicils are available for examination in the file kept by the court.

A hearing on the petition will be held in

Advertise Your Legal in The Paper 760 546-7600

this court as follows: Date: 08/25/2026, Time: 9:30AM Dept. 503 Address of Court: SUPERIOR COURT OF CALIFORNIA, COUNTY OF SAN DIEGO 1100 UNION ST. SAN DIEGO, CA 92101 If you object to the granting of the petition, you should appear at the hearing and state your objections or file written objections with the court before the hearing. Your appearance may be in person or by your attorney.

If you are a creditor or a contingent creditor of the decedent, you must file your claim with the court and mail a copy to the personal representative appointed by the court within the later of either (1) four months from the date of first issuance of letters to a general personal representative, as defined in section 58(b) of the California Probate Code, or (2) 60 days from the date of mailing or personal delivery to you of a notice under section 9052 of the California Probate Code. Other California statutes and legal authority may affect your rights as a creditor. You may want to consult with an attorney knowledgeable in California law.

You may examine the file kept by the court. If you are a person interested in the estate, you may file with the court a Request for Special Notice (form DE154) of the filing of an inventory and appraisal of estate assets or of any petition or account as provided in Probate Code section 1250. A Request for Special Notice form is available from the court clerk.

Petitioner: Denise Haunert-Marshall 416 38th Street, Newport Beach, CA 92663 858-735-8580 PUBLISHED IN THE PAPER 08/06, 8/13, 08/20/2026 -SUMMONS Notice to Defendant: (AVISO AL DEMANDADO): SHANE GARST, AN INDIVIDUAL; THE SYDEKICKS REAL ESTATE LLC, A CALIFORNIA LIMITED LIABILITY COMPANY; AND DOES 1 THROUGH 25 INCLUSIVE You are being sued by Plaintiff: (LO ESTÁ DEMANDANDO EL DEMANDANTE): WHITE AND BRIGHT, LLP NOTICE! You have been sued. The court may decide against you without your being heard unless you respond within 30 days. Read the information below.

You have 30 CALENDAR DAYS after this summons and legal papers are served on you to file a written response at this court and have a copy served on the plaintiff. A letter or phone call will not protect you. Your written response must be in proper legal form if you want the court to hear your case. There may be a court form that you can use for your response. You can find these court forms and more information at the California Courts Online Self-Help Center (www.courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp), your county law library, or the courthouse nearest you. If you cannot pay the filing fee, ask the court clerk for a fee waiver form. If you do not file your response on time, you may lose the case by default, and your wages, money, and property may be taken without further warning from the court.

There are other legal requirements.

You may want to call an attorney right away. If you do not know an attorney, you may want to call an attorney referral service. If you cannot afford an attorney, you may be eligible for free legal services from a nonprofit legal services program. You can locate these nonprofit groups at the California Legal Services Web site (www.lawhelpcalifornia.org), the California Courts Online Self-Help Center (www.courtinfo. ca.gov/selfhelp), or by contacting your local court or county bar association.

NOTE: The court has a statutory lien for waived fees and costs on any settlement or arbitration award of $10,000 or more in a civil case. The court’s lien must be paid before the court will dismiss the case.

Tiene 30 D{AS DE CALENDAR/0 despues de que le entreguen esta citaci6n y papeles legates para presentar una respuesta por escrito en esta corte y hacer que se entregue una copia al demandante. Una carta o una 1/amada telef6nica no lo protegen. Su respuesta por escrito tiene que estaren formato legal correcto si desea que procesen su caso en la corte. Es posible que haya un formulario que usted pueda usar para su respuesta.Puede encontrar estos formularios de la corte y mas informaci6n en el Centro de Ayuda de las Cortes de California (www.sucorte.ca.gov), en la biblioteca de /eyes de su condado o en la corte que le quede mas cerca. Si no puede pagar la cuota de presentaci6n, pida al secretario de la corte que le de un formulario de exenci6n de pago de cuotas. Si no presenta su respuesta a tiempo, puede perder el caso por incumplimiento y la corte le podra quitar su sue/do, dinero y bienes sin mas

advertencia.

Hay otros requisitos legates. Es recomendable que 1/ame a un abogado inmediatamente. Si no conoce a un abogado, puede 1/amar a un servicio de remisiOn a abogados. Si no puede pagar a un abogado, es posible que cumpla con los requisitos para obtener servicios legates gratuitos de un programa de servicios legates sin fines de lucro. Puede encontrar estos grupos sin fines de /ucro en el sitio web de California Legal Services,(www.lawhelpcalifornia.org), en el Centro de Ayuda de las Cortes de California, (www.sucorte. ca.gov) o poniendose en contacto con la corte o el colegio de abogados locales.

AV/SO: Por fey, la corte tiene derecho a reclamar las cuotas y los costos exentos por imponer un gravamen sobrecualquier recuperaci6n de $10,000 6 mas de valor recibida mediante un acuerdo o una concesi6n de arbitraje en un caso de derecho civil. Tiene que pagar el gravamen de la carte antes de que la corte pueda desechar el caso.

Case Number (Número del Caso): 25CU067905N The name and address of the court is: (El nombre y dirección de la corte es): SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA 325 SOUTH MELROSE DRIVE VISTA, CA 92081 The name, address, and telephone number of plaintiff’s attorney, or plaintiff without an attorney, is: (El nombre, la dirección y el número de teléfono del abogado del demandante, o del demandante que no tiene abogado, es): MICHAEL A. FRIEDRICHS 177980 WHITE AND BRIGHT, LLP 970 CANTERBURY PLACE, ESCONDIDO, CA 92025 760-747-3200 DATE: (Fecha) 12/22/25 Clerk, by N. ARELLANO, Deputy (Secretario) (Adjunto) (SEAL) Published in THE PAPER, 08/06, 8/13, 08/20, 08/27/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9016339 Fictitious Business Name(s): NEXT LEVEL DATING Located at: 770 SYCAMORE AVE STE 122 #1011, VISTA, CA 92083 County of San Diego This business is registered by the following: MARK ALLEN KESTER MR 770 SYCAMORE AVE STE 122 #1011, VISTA, CA 92083 This business is conducted by AN INDIVIDUAL Registrant has not yet begun to transact business under the fictitious name(s) listed above. /s/ MARK ALLEN KESTER MR This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on JULY 27, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER 8/13, 8/20, 8/27, 9/3/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9017023 Fictitious Business Name(s): MBQ BUILDERS Located at: 3535 LINDA VISTA DR. #266, SAN MARCOS, CA 92078 County of San Diego This business is registered by the following: MICHAEL BUYS 3535 LINDA VISTA DR. #266, SAN MARCOS, CA 92078 This business is conducted by AN INDIVIDUAL Registrant first began to transact business under the name(s) above as of: 2/15/2013 /s/ MICHAEL BUYS This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on AUG 05, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER 8/13, 8/20, 8/27, 9/3/2026 -FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FBN# 2026-9017192 Fictitious Business Name(s): WOOF GANG BAKERY AND GROOMING ENCINITAS Located at: 258 N EL CAMINO REAL, STE B2, ENCINITAS, CA 92024 County of San Diego Mailing: 3885 ANTIEM STREET, SAN DIEGO, CA 92111 This business is registered by the following: HARDY AND HONU LLC 3885 ANTIEM STREET, SAN DIEGO, CA 92111, CALIFORNIA LLC This business is conducted by A LIMITED LIABILITY COMPANY Registrant has not yet begun to transact business under the fictitious name(s) listed above. /s/ KARLY SIDMAN This statement was filed with JORDAN Z. MARKS, San Diego County Clerk on AUG 07, 2026.

Published in THE PAPER 8/13, 8/20, 8/27, 9/3/2026

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