October 31, 2024

October 31, 2024

Volume 54 - No. 44

GRIEF

AN UNPLEASANT BUT UNAVOIDABLE PART OF LIFE

By Friedrich Gomez I was the first to find my Mama’s lifeless body. She had a bad heart, which caused her to die of a heart attack. Once, when she took me with her to see her doctor, I overheard the cardiologist say to another doctor: “I’m amazed at how she’s still alive.”

It seems, at least for me, the longer she is missing from my life – the more intense I long for her and miss her loving presence. The way she’d pinch my cheeks and tell me just how beautiful I was, even when my clock was full of dirt or mud from playing outdoors.

She had the rich Irish name of “Molly.”

Death took her from me way too soon.

My grief seems to intensify through the years, rather than dissipate.

All these years later, I still dream of my Mommy and my bereavement has never subsided.

I can never speak openly of this.

Too personal.

The Paper • 760.747.7119 online: www.TheCommunityPaper.com

email: thepaper@cox.net

Too painful.

And three times I have deleted this portion out of this cover story.

Yes, I was the first to see my Mama’s lifeless body, sitting in her favourite sofa chair, as she was watching television. When I came into the house, at first, I thought she was sleeping in front of the TV; she looked so peaceful and restful.

When I nudged her once, then twice, she slumped sideways and I screamed in stark terror over and over again . . . like a howling

pup without his mother. With my arms wrapped tightly around her I screamed to the Heavens: “NO! NO! PLEASE GOD! I’LL DO ANYTHING . . . BUT PLEASE GOD . . . DON’T TAKE MY MAMA AWAY FROM ME!!”

My screams were so loud that our neighbour across the street (named Anne) ran towards our house and barged into our front door. Saw what had happened. And immediately cradled my quivering body as I fell to the floor on my knees, still screaming.

Grief

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Grief from page 1

I now wanted to make her proud of me.

Anne, a mother herself, felt the intense empathy and motherly instincts as only a mother can feel.

And to live my life as best as I possibly can . . . for her. And myself. And my Creator.

Choking back her own tears, she tightened her loving arms around me and said:

The power of love is immeasurable, and what Anne repeated to me gave me a surge of strength, resilience, and an indefinable reason to want to live: because my Mama loved me; even expressed and witnessed that love to a friend; and now I wanted to honour my Mama by being worthy of her love – the last words she had spoken about me.

“You know, just yesterday your mother was telling me just how much she loves you and how much you mean in her life.”

Terrified at the feeling of being “orphaned” in the world, my neighbour’s narrative in telling me of my Momma’s last words, somehow struck deep within in me – and I suddenly stopped my loud wailing, looked at my beautiful, compassionate neighbour’s face . . . and then buried my head in her bosom, quietly sobbing – as she stroked my hair and gently sang a sweet hymn I never heard before, called Amazing Grace.

It’s been several years now, and the pain is still fresh and painful as it was on the day she left me.

I’ve learned to live through my Christian faith, but my grief and bereavement will unquestionably – follow me to my grave.

For me, there is no healing.

To this day, in 2024, Anne had said the most beautiful words I ever heard, and sang the sweetest song I’ve ever heard – and it gave me a reason to live, despite my early mental torment.

There is no end in sight for my own grief.

My Mama’s expressed love for me, and what I meant in her life, stirred something deep inside of me: I now wanted to be worthy of her unconditional love.

Sooner or later, we all learn what bereavement, an unpleasant but unavoidable part of living, feels like.

Give Us This Day Our Daily Chuckle

This week, a compendium of wit, wisdom and neat stuff you can tell at parties. Enjoy!

Fame . . . and, now, Fortune . . .

As you know, I’m about as humble as humble gets.

It’s hard enough to remain humble when you’re as damned good looking as I am . . . but I have managed over the years to retain that simple, down home, easy going character that so many have come to know and love.

GRIEF, AN UNPLEASANT BUT UNAVOIDABLE PART OF LIVING.

Grief is a journey that no one should have to walk alone. By

ent television stations and network broadcasters outside, setting up their satellite dishes . . . I have every major newspaper and news service from throughout the world, setting up tents, sleeping bags, everything imaginable, all on our front lawn . . awaiting my appearance and a few words describing how I feel about having won the $640 million Mega Jackpot (or whatever they call it. I don’t pay much attention to these things).

I’ve already spoken to Governor Newsom.

He called to congratulate me and ask if he might float a small loan.

(I think he may have been joking).

I’m told that President Biden is on the other line, waiting to speak to me. I’ll be with him in just a minute or two, after I finish this humble message.

Now, however, I don’t know just how I’m going to maintain that humility.

Basically, I just wanted each of you to know that, no matter what, I shall always remain the simple, humble, (though really good lookin’) guy you’ve always known and that I cherish all the good times we’ve had together.

Already I have about six differ-

What wonderful memories.

stepping into the shoes of those who are grieving, even briefly, we can offer a light in their darkness, a hand to hold, and a reminder that they are loved. In so doing, we not only help to carry their burden but also strengthen the bonds of connection and care that make us all a little more human.

their children never subsides.

The thought of children dying before their own parents haunts and pains parents to their grave.

To state that there is an “expiration” date for their bereavement for their lost infants or children is the height of insults to them. For parents, in loving your children, there is no “shelf life.”

Everyone experiences loss at some point in their lives.

In the United States, almost 37,000 children die before their 18th birthday . . . each and every year.

There is no escaping it.

THE PAIN NEVER REALLY GOES AWAY. The time-worn adage that time heals everything, in reality, simply does not always apply in real life.

Famous American comedian, actress, and singer, Carol Burnett, recently turned 91 years-olde on 26 April of this year and she says today: “Not a moment goes by that I don’t think of my daughter Carrie who died 22 years ago this year, in 2002.”

Carrie Hamilton, sadly passed away from lung and brain cancer at age 38. And today Carol Burnett says she misses her little girl as if it all happened yesterday.

For Carol Burnett, as with countless other people: “It still hurts, deeply inside.”

For parents, the agony of losing

I am, however, leaving soon.

Probably for Tahiti. Maybe Norway. Who knows? I’ll probably just hire someone to run the paper for me and I’ll ‘phone it in’ as we media types say.

Looking forward to many hours of fun and relaxation.

And before you ask . . . sorry, I’m not in the banking business. I don’t make loans.

Unless, of course, you’ve got very attractive collateral.

I will remember you always, with great affection.

Your friend and mine, lyle *** I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted “Crazy” then he would tell me to take a few days off. So, I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises.

My co-worker (who’s blonde) asked me what I was doing.

Yes, surviving parents can seek therapy and psychological assistance – which is important – but, it only provides a methodology to better cope – it does not erase the indelible pain of a lost loved one.

Carol Burnett reflects the sentiment of countless others as she says, “Yes, I can continue to live and even laugh at times, but, I can never, ever laugh and be as happy in the same way as before.”

THE PLIGHT OF SENIOR WIDOWHOOD IN AMERICA. According to the Census.gov (https://www.census.gov), there are 3.7 million widowers in America today and three times as many widows (11.5 million) which, altogether, is more than 6

Grief continued on page 3

I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb, So, that the Boss might think I was “Crazy” and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, “What in the name of good GOD are you doing?”

I told him I was a light bulb.

He said, “You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.”

I jumped down and walked out of the office...when my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, “... And where do you think you’re going?!”

She said, “I’m going home too. I can’t work in the dark”!

•••• This lady just told me she has free books for sale. Whatever that means.

Chuckles continued on page 16

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Grief from page 2

percent of the entire U.S. population.

Gender disparity: because of longer life expectancy, a significantly higher percentage of women become widows compared to men becoming widowers.

WHAT PERCENTAGE OF WIDOWS OVER 60 REMARRY? The majority of people in the U.S. who become widowed are 65 years or older.

Approximately 2% of older widows and 20% of older widowers ever remarry. The U.S. Census Bureau estimates that each year, out of every 1,000 widowed men and women ages 65 and older, only 3 women and 17 men remarry.

WIDOWHOOD, A HAUNTING SILENCE: CHANGE OF IDENTITY FROM COUPLE TO A SINGLE PERSON. Research data shows that when people have the experience of being in a spousal relationship, the sense of who they are is inextricably tied to their spouse.

As with the word sibling, the word spouse implies two people.

And so when the other person is gone, they suddenly have to learn a totally new set of rules to operate in the world. The “we” is as important as the “you” and “me” and the brain, interestingly, really does encode it that way.

So when people say, “I feel like I’ve lost part of myself,” that is for a good reason. The brain also feels that way, as it were, and codes the “we” as much as the “you” and the “I” – according to modern scientific data.

A surviving spouse, especially in their senior years, face a multifaceted bereavement (grief).

They face a change of identity from being a couple to a single person. They may feel the loss of future dreams and how they pictured their lives together, before death separated them. They may begin to feel “worthless” and without further purpose in life.

Even in the company of others, a surviving spouse may – nevertheless – feel a deep sense of loneliness and as research has repeatedly shown, they only wish and yearn to “have their former life back, as it once was” (as Carol Burnett reminisced of her little girl).

HOW DO I SUPPORT GRIEVING PEOPLE IN MY LIFE? Clinical research experts on grief, say that when you care for someone who is going through this terrible process of losing someone, it really is more about listening to them and seeing where they’re at in their own ‘learning process.’

The pivotal point is to be with them, and let them know that you will continue to be with them, and that you can still imagine a future for them where they’re not constantly being knocked over by the waves of grief.

WHAT DOES ONE SAY, OR NOT SAY, TO A GRIEVING PERSON? One must be careful if you use one of the research engines (such as Google) to base your decisions on “what-and-what-not” to say to a person who is grieving.

Different sources often clash and contradict one another – and with a person who is deeply grieving, one must be careful and not take chances, or a least minimise the risk of making matters even worse.

Always consider the circumstances – and the unique individual that you’ve grown to know.

Each person is different.

Some strong silent types don’t wish to be “overly-babied.” They may suppress much of their emotion and hide their inner angst, thus giving the wrong impression that “they are handling things well.”

Oftentimes, the grieving person may not wish to hear platitudes, but rather they are lonely and only desire someone to talk with.

In the process, you just might learn to be a good listener.

Allow the grieving person to ‘open up’ and talk, without interruption.

As a volunteer caregiver for seniors who have since passed on, I learned to be a good listener.

Always remember a truism: everyone grieves differently. Your grief will not be the same as theirs.

If you Google: “CNN 5 Things (Never) to Say to a Grieving Friend,” their list, ostensibly, contradicts what other experts say.

Oodles!

Looking for things to do? Places to go?

Check out Oodles every week for listing of civic and service club meetings, and more!

Have an event you need publicized?

Email it to: Lisa.ThePaper@gmail.com The Paper goes to print on Tuesday morning.

You are more likely to get published if you: • Submit your press release by the previous Friday.

• Keep It Simple: who, what, where, when, why.

• Send us something we can copy/paste. Please no brochures or flyers. Send a press release.

• Send photos as attachments, not embeded in the document.

A World of Resources Celebrating Cultures & Caregivers November 2 • 10am to 1pm North County Community Action Network (NorCAN) and the Caregiver Coalition of San Diego invite you to a free community event, A World of Resources: Celebrating Cultures & Caregivers, on Saturday, November 2nd from 10am-1pm at Gary and Mary West PACE, 1706 Descanso Ave, San Marcos, CA 92078. Join us to celebrate and support older adults and caregivers with culturally diverse resources, education, and activities in North County. There will be 20+ exhibitors in aging services, a panel of aging & caregiving experts, selfcare activities, a Dia de los Muertos painting activity, free flu shots and COVID vaccines, refreshments, and opportunity drawings.

Open to the public and no registration required. *** Parkinson’s Support Group Meeting November 4 • 10am to noon Parkinson’s Support Group. Free monthly meetings for people with Parkinson’s and their care partners are held from 10 am until Noon at San Rafael Church, 17252 Bernardo Center Drive, Rancho Bernardo, in the Parish Hall. Our featured speaker for Monday, November 4th is Megan Robbins, Occupational Therapist at Scripps Clinic, who will be presenting “Driving Skills for People with Parkinson’s”.

Separate breakout sessions for People with Parkinson’s and care partners will follow the presentation to discuss successes and challenges.

Come learn, share, meet, and enjoy the free refreshments with other involved Parkinson’s persons. Please call (760) 749-8234 or (760) 5181963 if you have any questions. ***

lectibles and so much more. Come check us out!

Saturday,Nov 9th 1pm to 4pm Monday, Nov 11th 9:30am2:30pm Tuesday, Nov 12th 9am - Noon Thursday, Nov 14th 9am - Noon Friday, Nov 15th 9:30am -2:30pm Saturday,Nov 16th 9am - 3:30pm Sunday, Nov 17th 9am - 2pm is the Final Day! Everything is priced to sell!

Sale will be in the big Church Hall at Resurrection Church, 1445 Conway Dr., Escondido, CA 92027, 760-747-2322 ***

Barbershop A Capella Choral Concert November 6 • 5pm San Marcos Library On Wednesday November 6 at 5 pm, the Music Men Chorus will perform a concert of Barbershop style songs at the San Marcos branch of the San Diego County Library, located at 2 Civic Center Drive.

The Music Men Chorus, now in its 70th year, specializes in singing this unique brand of a cappella music, noted for its “ringing” chords.

This concert will include a variety of song styles - romantic, pop, gospel, and patriotic - and will include quartet performances.

Sponsored by the San Marcos branch library, the concert is FREE. For more information, visit musicmenchorus.org *** Writers Workshop November 16th Vista Library

For the record, here are “CNN’s 5 Things (Never) to Say to a Griev-

Church of the Resurrection Annual Christmas Bazaar November 9th - November 17th

Aspiring and seasoned writers, join author Matt Coyle on Satur-

Grief continued on page 5

All items are priced to sell!! Christmas decorations, gift items, col-

Oodles continued on page 12

The Paper • Page 4 • October 31, 2024

Local News

Jim Desmond Updates Homeowners On Fire Insurance I wanted to provide an important update regarding our steps to address the ongoing home insurance crisis affecting many in our community, particularly those in wildfire-prone areas.

Fire insurance is one of the most common issues I hear about in the community. It’s truly heartbreaking to hear so many stories of skyrocketing insurance premiums or homeowners losing their fire insurance altogether. Unfortunately, fire insurance is a unique challenge for the county because we have no direct control over the industry, which is regulated by the state.

me if you have any questions or concerns.

San Diego County District 5 Supervisor Jim Desmond, https://www.supervisorjimdesmond.com/

County Offers Free Flu Vaccines Every year, millions of Americans get sick from the flu. Some of the most vulnerable die. Here in San Diego, from fiscal year 2022-2024, an average of 20,381 people got sick from the flu each year and 54 people died.

However, to help our residents, I submitted a Board letter, which passed this Wednesday, aimed at alleviating some of this burden. The San Diego County Fire Protection District (SDCFPD) will now assist residents in applying for the Insurance Institute for Business & Home Safety’s (IBHS) Wildfire Prepared Home program. This program offers significant discounts for homes that meet specific fire safety requirements, providing relief from high insurance costs and better protection for homes against wildfire risks.

A flu vaccine is the best defense against getting sick the virus and is especially important for people who are at high risk of complications from the flu. A flu shot is recommended to anyone six months of age and up.

Last fiscal year, over 1,050,000 San Diegans received their flu shot.

I understand how critical this issue is. While we cannot control the insurance market, we are doing everything we can to help mitigate the impact. I will update you on when this program will officially begin and how you can participate.

The vaccine is available at doctors’ offices and pharmacies throughout San Diego County and is covered by medical insurance. People who do not have healthcare coverage can get vaccinated at one of the County’s six Public Health Centers or a local community clinic. Visit https://www. sandiegocounty.gov for more information, or go to MyTurn.ca.gov to schedule an appointment, or participating pharmacies.

Thank you for your continued support. Please don’t hesitate to contact

The County provides flu vaccines at Public Health Centers throughout the region. Each year in October and November, the County also hosts flu events to bring the flu vaccine into local communities.

sports is simply wrong, wrong, wrong.

The community is beginning to wake up to this common sense solution.

Don’t play teams that employ transgender athletes.

Man About Town More and more often I am seeing more and more leaders and institutions beginning to exercise more and more common sense.

Case in point?

Transgender athletes.

Allowing athletes that were born males to participate in women’s

Our County Supervisor, Jim Desmond, whom I greatly admire, had some common sense thoughts on this: County Supervisor Jim Desmond on Friday joined a national movement of activists opposed to transgender individuals in sports to urge the San Diego State’s women’s volleyball team to not play San Jose State on Nov. 9.

SDSU, however, said the game would be played as scheduled.

In a letter penned to the 14-6 Aztecs, Desmond, joined by political activists and former athletes Ri-

Letters

to the Editor Lyle, thank you so much for clarifying in this week’s issue of The Paper (10/24/24) the recent Chrsitian attacks on our beautiful scribe Friedrich Gomez! My God, I am so ashamed that so-called Christians could sound so evil and unforgiving! My teen-aged son and daughter asked me: “Mom, are all Christians that hateful and spooky if you don’t believe exactly as they do?” My husband and I were both embarrassed that we had to reply that not all Christians are like that.

I’m very shocked that our Pastor Huls even commented on it. Ironically, we know you’re not a believer Lyle and yet you’re a more decent, productive, valued person than many Christians. So proud of you. So ashamed of many Christians today.

From Caroline Douglas *** Lyle, everyone is talking about this current issue of The Paper and how righteous holier-than-thou ley Gaines and Payton McNabb, claimed SJSU has a transgender player on its roster and urged the team to forfeit the match.

“Allowing males to compete in women’s sports is wrong. It jeopardizes physical safety and strips away the merit of fair competition,” the authors of the letter wrote. “This is not just about one match or one season. This decision is about standing up for the integrity of women’s sports and the right of women to fairly compete.”

Five teams this year have forfeited rather than play the Spartans, who have not confirmed they have a transgender player on their roster. Nevada became the latest on Thursday.

According to WebMD and Dr. Isabel Lowell: Transgender is a general term that describes people whose gender identity, or their internal sense of being male, female, or something else, does not

Christians are spewing hate and condemnation towards your laddie, Friedrich Gomez as if they are without sin themselves. I’ve been a longtime reader of The Paper and I’m aware that Pastor Huls is fully aware of Friedrich’s past stories of Jesus and yet Pastor Huls not once cited this Christian belief held by your Lad, Friedrich. It makes me wonder if during the time of Jesus if Pastor Huls would’ve abandoned “witnessing on behalf of Friedrich” and instead if Pastor Huls would’ve run-off and saved his own skin, then been remorseful afterward. Instead, Pastor Huls “grandstanded” on his own belief in his column and left the Truth about Friedrich’s devout belief notably absent. Not my view, but the Bible’s regarding the dark prophecies of fallen clergymen who stand behind the pulpit without sincerity of faith when In Isaiah 29:13 it is written “Isaiah prophesied correctly about you hypocrites, as it is written, these people draw near to Me with their mouths and honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me. Their worship of Me is but rules taught by men.” If Pastor Huls chooses to go public on his views regarding Friedrich, then it’s fair game that in a democracy such as ours he should face opposing views in critiquing him. We’re all a bit surprised and saddened of how your beautiful Laddie was not presented with his devout Christian beliefs. That, Lyle, was left to you alone. And it’s incredible how a non-believer like yourself can show the world that non-Christians can be more truthful, forthright, and compassionate and forgiving.

Shame on the Christian communiLetters continued on page 14 match the sex they were assigned at birth.

And that’s fine . . .but to allow a transgender athlete who was born a male and has all the physical equipment to qualify as a male to participate in a woman’s sport ... is just plain stupid. S/he may choose to live as a female - and I don’t have a problem with that . . . but to allow her to compete puts other women athletes at risk of injury and unfair competition by someone who may be bigger, stronger, and faster. Not fair. Nor does it make sense.

What is this crazy state of California coming to?

Dumb, dumb Liberalism.

Add to the transgender issue that school staff, be they teachers, adMan About Town continued on page 5

The Paper • Page 5 • October 31, 2024

Grief from page 3 ing Friend.”

It is a learning experience to hear the pros-and-cons regarding the following, which CNN says you should (never ask a grieving person).

1. “How Are You?” 2. “How Can I Help?”

3. “I Can’t Imagine What You Are Going Through.”

4. “This is so unfair.”

5. “I Want to Come Give You a Hug.” According to Amen Clinics, Pathways, Sequoia Hospital/Dignity, and other sources, they take issue with CNN’s list.

For example, in CNN’s list, it says never ask “How are you doing?” with CNN own convoluted explanation as follows: “The problem with ‘How are you doing?’ is that it is a nearimpossible question to answer.

Our feelings of grief change by the hour, sometimes by the minutes, so there’s no answer that will stand the test of time. Do you mean, how am I this very second?

I can answer that, but my answer might change a second later. Do you mean how are we coping in life? The answer is, we don’t know yet.”

REBUTTAL FROM AMEN CLINICS, PATHWAYS, HOSPITAL/DIGNITY, ETC. Most sources say “How are you doing?” is simply understood by the person grieving and they answer as they understand, without all the complications cited above.

Asking “How are you doing, today?” is critical in checking up on your loved one each day, and psychiatrists will keep asking this query, as the person may be suicidal and intervention is paramount. Also, by asking each day how a grieving person is doing, you are inviting and giving the person the opportunity to talk and express themselves which is a most healthy form of catharsis.

Oftentimes, a person experiencing bereavement does not (always) wish to listen to platitudes but, instead, they only want and wish for a person to talk with, confide in – so, once again, be a good listener, and less a talker. CNN’s advice to never ask “How are you doing?” is not without its critiques, which disagree.

2. “How Can I Help?” CNN gives this reason for (never) asking “How Can I Help?” because it is a bad question, as they explain: “It puts the onus on the griever to help the helper. The helper wants to figure something out, but those of us who are grieving are in no position to help. We often can’t articulate, and might not even know what we want or need.”

Man About Town from page 4

. . . and I just shake my head and wonder what the state of California is coming to.

ministrators, librarians, custodians . . . any staff position at all, are prohibited from defending themselves against students who physically attack or harass them.

If I were 20 years younger I’d sell everything I own and move out of state - just as many are now doing.

Where to move? I dunno. Maybe Arizona, maybe Idaho, maybe Tennessee . . . some state, preferably one that has nice weather . . . and a more conservative view of life and its responsiblities.

Sadly, some of today’s students are jerks. (Most are not; most are fine, studious class members . . but a few are uncontrollable jerks). They, as young as 10 or 11 years old, and younger . . . will often curse out staff in language more common in a military barracks . . . some will physically attack teachers and/or staff. In one instance I’m aware of a youngster used a karate kick to immobilize a library staff member.

The staff member was not allowed to defend herself.

I grew up in Omaha, Nebraska . . . a student would not get away with that back then . . I hope to hell the Education Code in Nebraska has not changed to the insance Liberal Code of Conduct.

I read about stories like this . . . transgenderism in sports . . . uncontrolled youth within the school system . . . and other Liberal causes

But moving to another state is too much like work . . . and I’m at a point where I try to avoid work whenever possible.

The rebuttal from credentialed sources (cited above, etc.) is that “How Can I Help?” is not complicated and it underestimates the person who is grieving who may fully understands the query.

Often the person who is grieving does not wish to burden others, so when the question is posed – “How Can I Help?” they feel relieved at (not having to ask you), so they open up and feel at ease in truthfully answering what they may truly want.

Regarding the question “How Can I Help?” -- in all the time I’ve been a volunteer caregiver to seniors who have since passed away (both widows and widowers) and while networking with fellow caregivers, surviving spouses always (with no exceptions) answered with great relief “Yes!” such as: “Oh, dear, I’m so glad you asked; I’ve been meaning to ask if you could do me a big favour?”

Yes, it’s nice to automatically do their laundry, write letters for them, but sometimes we need to ask them what we can do, how we can help – so they can fill-in the blanks, instead of us doing it for them. You don’t know what their desires are or what they privately wish for. By not asking them (“How else can I help?”) we are making an assumption and are answering for them.

Instead, I give them the dignity So all I can do is complain . . . and point things out to you. And hope you are motivated enough to contact your city, county and state legislators and seek a change . . . and to vote out the Liberal legislators.

A series of letter from a disgusted public sector (to San Diego State University - with copies to your local County Supervisor) might get some attention; similarly, letters to your local, county and state school boards and/or legislators about the nonsense of not letting school staff defend themselves just might get some attention and get some needed change.

to answer for themselves, and, as mentioned, they always are surprised and enthusiastically “jump” at the opportunity to answer “yes!” on something I (and my fellow caregivers) never even thought of or imagined. (Yes, caregivers can learn a lot from the seniors they care for – it’s a twoway learning street.)

3. “I Can’t Imagine What You are Going Through.” CNN says we should (never) say this and they cite the following reason: “Oh, really? You’ve never imagined losing a parent? Have you ever seen a movie about loss or death?

How about ‘The Lion King’?

Were you dry-eyed when Mufasa died, or did you not cry and feel Simba’s pain?”

Rebuttal: Simply seeing a movie does not allow you to realistically feel the pain of the person in bereavement. No one truly knows what a person in mourning is feeling or going through – even if you, yourself, have experienced a loss. So, seeing a Walt Disney movie is certainly not a suitable argument as presented here.

Pathways, an affiliate of Sequoia Hospital/Dignity replies: “Grief is a personal experience, and it’s one that not everyone around you will understand. First of all, they aren’t going through the same loss and turmoil as you are now. SecGrief continued on page 12 End of rant.

Have a nice week. See you in another 7 days.

The Paper • Page 6 • October 31, 2024

5th District Supervisor

Jim Desmond

Positive Impacts It’s been my honor to serve the people of the 75th Assembly District for the past 12 years. With extensive agricultural areas, deserts and mountains, including all 18 of San Diego County’s sovereign Indian tribal nations, we are one of the most diverse regions in California.

My legislation has been a reflection of the district’s unique character. For example, much of this region is considered a high or very high fire hazard severity zone. During the Lilac Fire in December, 2017, the Rancho Monserate community in Fallbrook was devastated. Due to archaic state laws that didn’t recognize common interest ownership, residents were being denied rebuilding loans and permits. I immediately introduced an urgency bill changing the law so the community could rebuild. It was signed into law by Governor Brown and went into effect immediately. More recently, I’ve been able to direct over $13 million to help fund local fire safety projects. This resulted in recent ground breakings for new fire stations in Fallbrook and Crest. A new station to replace the “temporary” Deer Springs station is on the way, and Valley Center Fire Protection District was able to buy a badly needed brush fire apparatus.

Safety gear and fire apparatus, along with other equipment have also been funded for San Marcos Fire, Rincon Fire and elsewhere. And this session, Governor Newsom signed my bill to create Infrastructure Financ-

ing Districts for fire agencies and counties to access funding for capital improvement projects and heavy equipment to mitigate fire danger in high fire risk areas.

Two of my bills brought California into conformity with the federal Indian Child Welfare Act regarding placement of Indian children during custody disputes, And given the important cultural, economic and public safety contributions of local tribes, I authored a resolution recognizing California Native American Day. Last session, along with Assemblyman Eduardo Garcia, I also introduced a bill allowing tribal governments to access water from nearby water districts.

In 2021 my legislation extended the deadline for the City of Escondido to access Prop 1E funding for the Lake Wohlford Dam Seismic Strengthening project to 2028. The new, seismically safe dam should be completed in 2027.

The Legislature serves all Californians, but I’ve always considered the people of the 75th Assembly District my first priority.

Assemblymember Marie Waldron, RValley Center, represents the 75th Assembly District in the California Legislature, which includes the cities of Poway, Santee, portions of the City of San Diego, and most of rural eastern and northern San Diego County.

Federal Government’s Secret Transfer of Migrants from San Diego to Arizona and Texas Between September 2023 and June 2024, more than 155,000 migrants—predominantly single adults—were released onto the streets of San Diego County. The primary reason: Border Patrol facilities were overrun, and, by federal law, Border Patrol could not hold these individuals for more than a few days. The street releases temporarily stopped over the summer due to weather conditions, executive orders, and other factors—conveniently, just before the upcoming election.

However, officials informed me that street releases were set to resume again last Friday in San Diego County. In a blatant attempt to protect their image before the election, the Federal Government has opted to quietly transfer migrants out of state instead of addressing the real issue. Every day, numerous buses are now driving illegal immigrants from San Diego to Yuma, Arizona, where they are flown across the country.

Additionally, 3 to 4 planes a week

are flying illegal immigrants from San Diego to McAllen, Texas, where facilities are not full.

This is not a solution—it’s smoke and mirrors - a cover-up for the sake of optics. While states like Texas and Arizona, which are working diligently to secure their borders, have space in their facilities, California remains overwhelmed because it incentivizes illegal immigration with sanctuary policies and handouts, including free healthcare and legal defense. Our state is bearing the brunt of these policies.

Instead of addressing the crisis head-on, the Federal Government is using San Diego as a stopgap to avoid political fallout.

This issue is not about securing our borders for the long term; it’s about political optics ahead of the election. San Diego and our nation deserve better.

San Diego County District 5 Supervisor Jim Desmond, 1600 Pacific Highway, #335, San Diego, CA 92101, United States http:// www.supervisorjimdesmond.com/

Read The Paper Online at www.thecommunitypaper.com

Problem Solved

by Christopher Elliott

Saks Fifth Avenue Return Problem Why won’t they accept this $10,854 gold ring?

Saks Fifth Avenue refuses to accept a $10,854 gold ring as a return. The reason: The company says it’s damaged. Is Thomas Gunderson stuck with this purchase?

prove that they sent us an undamaged ring. The scratches appear to be very superficial in the gold band and can probably be buffed out. Can you help me get my money back?

Q: I ordered an Origami Crossover Ring In 18K Yellow Gold With Diamonds for $10,854 from Saks Fifth Avenue.

~ Thomas Gunderson, Los Alamos, NM

The ring was too large for my wife. She had it out of the box for literally two minutes. We returned the ring the next day. Saks received the ring, but then they sent it back to us, saying it was damaged.

We did not damage the ring. We are in our 60s and 70s, and our eyesight is not the best. We did

A: If you had the ring out of the box for two minutes, and your wife did nothing more than try the ring on, then you couldn’t have possibly caused the damage.

not see any damage, but after taking photos of the returned ring, we could see scratches when enlarging the photos.

Illustration by Dustin Elliott

But you’re right, how do you prove something like that?

We have gone back and forth with Saks to get a refund, and they refuse. We can’t prove we did not damage the ring and they can’t

Problem Solved continued on page 7

The Paper • Page 7 • October 31, 2024

Historically Speaking

The First ‘Fake News’ Was 86 Years Ago

By Tom Morrow In recent years we’ve heard about and even experienced so called “fake news.” As a former working newsman, I spent years reporting local and national news in both print and electronic mediums. I can honestly report I and my colleagues made every effort to “get it right,” Were there mistakes? Of course, but in most cases honest effort for corrections were made. Reporting erroneous “news” was not condoned nor acceptable.

From the early days of the American mass media, both print and electronic, we’ve expected our news reports to be truthful and correct. Playing on this expectation, on Oct. 30, 1938, a young 24-year-old writer-directoractor by the name of Orson Welles took his Mercury Radio Theater company on nationwide broadcast, delivering what was supposed to be

Problem Solved from page 6 Saks says it accepts returns via mail or through the store. Earlier this year, it began charging a $9.95 return shipping fee, which it deducts from your refund. According to the Saks Fifth Avenue refund policy, returns are eligible for a refund if they are made within 30 days of delivery. They must be presented in the same condition as when they were received: unworn, undamaged, unaltered, and with the original tags and proof of purchase.

“Returns that do not meet this policy will not be accepted and will be sent back to you,” it says.

Saks didn’t assume you damaged the ring. It said you were responsible for the damage. Saks believes it sent you an undamaged ring, and that between the time it sent it out and received it, the ring was damaged.

Based on the correspondence between you and Saks, it looks as if a few things were overlooked. Initially, Saks referred you to a third party, which sold the ring through Saks. The vendor referred you back to Saks. At that point, Saks

a Halloween presentation of British author H.G. Welles’ “War of the Worlds.” Despite a disclaimer that the broadcast was a theatrical presentation, Welles’ company did too good of a job “reporting the news.”

The original story by H. G. Welles in 1898, but most of those listeners tuning into the CBS broadcast on Halloween night in 1938, thought it was real because there was our expectation of receiving honest and truthful news. Orson Welles was decades ahead of history. The public wasn’t ready for a broadcast that mimicked the news. The broadcast scared hell out of a nation, but it launched Orson Welles into national stardom. He would go on to produce the blockbuster film “Citizen Kane,” which is still regarded as one of the best movies ever made.

Orson Welles producing ‘Fake News.’

The 1938 Halloween radio episode is famous for inciting panic by convincing many listeners that an invasion from the planet Mars was taking place.

of realism was supported by the Mercury players lack of commercial interruptions, which meant the first break in the drama came after all of the alarming “news” reports had taken place. Popular legend holds that some of the radio audience may have been listening to “The Chase and Sanborn Hour” with Edgar Bergen on NBC and tuned in to “The War of the Worlds” during a musical interlude, thereby missing the clear introduction indicating that the show was a work of science fiction.

Welles’s “War of the Worlds” broadcast has become famous for convincing some of its listeners that a Martian invasion was actually taking place due to the “breaking news” style of storytelling employed in the first half of the show. The illusion

In the days after the radio adaptation, widespread outrage was expressed in the media. The program’s news-bulletin format was described as deceptive by some newspapers and public figures, leading to an outcry against the broadcasters and

might have filed a claim through its insurance company or through the shipping company. Instead, it just told you that you had to accept a ring that didn’t fit your wife.

Is there a way to prove you didn’t do it? Kind of. You could have taken a picture of the ring when you received it. Presumably, the ring was damaged during the return, so you could have used the initial photo to prove you didn’t scratch the jewelry.

In the end, a brief, polite email to one of the executive contacts at Saks Fifth Avenue might have helped. I publish them on my consumer advocacy site, Elliott.org.

I reached out to Saks Fifth Avenue on your behalf. A corporate escalation specialist contacted you and agreed to accept the return.

Christopher Elliott is the founder of Elliott Advocacy (https://elliottadvocacy.org), a nonprofit organization that helps consumers solve their problems. Email him at chris@elliott.org or get help by contacting him at https://elliottadvocacy.org/help/ © 2024 Christopher Elliott.

calls for regulation by the FCC. Orson Welles apologized at a hastily called news conference the next morning, and no punitive action was taken. The broadcast and subsequent publicity brought the 24year-old Welles to the attention of the general public and gave him the reputation of an innovative storyteller and “trickster.”

Welles’ radio presentation begins with an introductory monologue based closely on the opening of the source novel, after which the program takes on the format of an evening of typical radio programming being periodically interrupted by “news bulletins.”

Historically Speaking continued on page 12

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The Paper • Page 8 • October 31, 2024

It’s a long, long walk through the airport. Here’s your survival guide.

Don’t forget to pack your hiking shoes this holiday travel season, because you’re going to need them more than ever.

But it sure feels that way. In fairness, some large airports have added new trains that significantly reduce the amount of walking time. Still, the newest airport terminals aren’t exactly getting any smaller.

It’s a long walk through the airport -- a long, long walk.

Dave Dzurick spent almost an hour trekking through Seattle’s terminals when he arrived from Canada recently. First, there was an extended walk to customs, then another hike to the TSA screening area, and then another march to his connecting gate.

The problem may be worse overseas. Claire Ramsdell recently made a connection at Istanbul Airport, which features a gleaming new terminal that stretches over 77 million square feet, and thought she wouldn’t make it.

“It was a nightmare,” says ​​Dzurick, a retired broadcast engineer from Tucson, Ariz.

His problem is becoming more common. Just look at the newest airport terminals opening in Dubai, New York or Los Angeles, and you’ll see that almost no effort has been made to shorten the walk to the gate. If anything, it takes longer to get to the plane.

But these aren’t the worst offenders when it comes to walking times from check-in to your gate.

A recent survey by Kuru Footwear found that Dallas had the longest walks among large domestic airports (2.16 miles) fol-

Illustration by Aren Elliott

“When I got off the plane I ran full speed to the other gate,” remembers Ramsell, a photographer and frequent traveler. “I had to stop to go through security halfway through. I went down a long never-ending hallway, through security, took an elevator down a floor, ran down a long hallway again, then ran up some

lowed by Washington, D.C. (1.62 miles) and Houston (1.52 miles).

“Many large airports across the country continue to expand and build new terminals,” notes Victoria Schmid, a spokeswoman for Kuru.

If you want a short walk to the

Credit: Kuru Footwear

terminal, try a smaller airport like Lexington, Kentucky, where it’s just a hop, skip and a jump to the gates.

But does it really take longer to get to the gate, or is it your imagination? And how will these distances affect your next trip? As someone who practically lives in an airport terminal, I have the answer to all these questions. Plus, I’ll tell you how to survive your next airport adventure.

Is it getting farther to the airport gate?

I couldn’t find any recent scientific studies on how far passengers have to walk, or if they have to walk farther now than before.

stairs, across that floor, and then down another staircase.”

She made her flight after finding a faster security line specifically for international-to-domestic transfers.

I’ve had the same problem in Istanbul -- a ridiculously long walk between gates and that sinking feeling that I wouldn’t make it to my next flight. But somehow, I always did.

Why this could affect your next flight Walk continued on page 9

The Paper • Page 9 • October 31, 2024

Walk from page 8 I’ve been traveling almost nonstop for the last eight years, but for the last few years, I’ve carefully tracked my steps on my Google Watch. On a travel day, I’m always worried that I won’t get enough exercise -- I try to walk at least 20,000 steps a day.”

But lately, when I fly, I always get plenty of steps. Enormous airports like Doha, Frankfurt and London always give me enough opportunity to walk, whether I want to or not.

For someone like me who wants to stretch his legs, the long walk isn’t really a problem. But a few years ago, after I broke my pelvis in a horrific ski accident, these long walks seemed like an insurmountable obstacle because I was hobbling slowly on crutches and with luggage.

I have readers who are in the same situation. They love to travel, but the walk to the gate is almost too much. It seems like the architects who built these terminals didn’t give a thought to the 12 percent of Americans with mobility impairments.

Tips For Surviving A Long Walk To The Airport Gate This holiday travel season, may-

be you’ll have to endure a forced march to the gate. But there are ways to make it easier.

Go Light The worst thing you can do is weigh yourself down with a heavy backpack or overloaded carry-on luggage. Pack light to ensure a stress-free walk to your gate.

Grab Comfortable Shoes “Wear comfortable footwear,” advises Schmid, the Kuru spokeswoman. “Large airports require a lot of walking and standing, and it’s important for your foot health, and overall health, to ensure you have supportive and well-fitting shoes.”

Get Informed Airport signage can be confusing, and in the heat of the moment, you can easily make a turn and head in the wrong direction. Most big airports have an app or a website with a terminal map. (Oh, I know, your family will call you a nerd for downloading it, but they will also thank you when you get to the gate on time.)

Give Yourself Time Before you get ready for your trek through the terminal, make sure

time is on your side. If you’re flying out of Dallas or one of the big airports in the Kuru survey, give yourself a minimum of an hour to get to your gate.

Get Help If you’re a slow walker or have an injury or disability, don’t hesitate to ask your airline or the airport for help. They have disability services that provide rides to help you avoid a lengthy walk. Note: You may need to contact your airline in advance to reserve a wheelchair.

But the best advice I’ve ever heard is to avoid the walk entirely. Book a nonstop flight to avoid transiting through Dallas or Denver. That way, you only have to worry about hiking to, and from, your arrival and departure gates once each.

If you have to book a connecting flight, make sure you have enough time to get to your next gate without running. And that’s particularly important during the winter travel season in the Northern Hemisphere, when everyone is weighed down with heavy winter clothing.

It’s just not worth the trouble.

Maybe We Should Embrace The Hike In the end, walking long distances

is part of travel, and maybe these sprawling airport terminals are doing many of us a favor. I mean, what else are we going to do, sit at home and watch reruns of our favorite travel show? Nah. Better to get out there and get some exercise.

“We embrace the hike to the gate as good exercise on a travel day,” says Laurel Barton, a frequent traveler and guidebook author from Forest Grove, Ore. She often flies through London’s massive Heathrow airport, and there’s a tunnel to the C Gates at Terminal 5 that takes about 20 minutes to walk.

“We skip the travelators and hoof it willingly,” she says. “But then, we write hiking guidebooks.” *** Christopher Elliott is an author, consumer advocate, and journalist. He founded Elliott Advocacy, a nonprofit organization that helps solve consumer problems.

He publishes Elliott Confidential, a travel newsletter, and the Elliott Report, a news site about customer service. If you need help with a consumer problem, you can email him at chris@elliott.org.

The Paper • Page 10 • October 31, 2024

The Pastor Says . . .

Be Alert Have you ever wondered how many things are happening around you daily? Sometimes, we get the idea that life is boring and nothing exciting is happening. Then, we turn on the news and see a world in chaos with wars, poverty, injustice, deceit, hatred, and conflict. Then, we look closer to our immediate worlds and see accidents, homelessness, death, inflation, discord, and struggles.

Of course, we can keep ourselves away from the TV and the news.

Perhaps then, we will not be aware of a world of change.

Yet, if we look closely at our immediate environment, we will see change, perhaps ever so little, but it is there. Our hair is graying.

Our eyes and hearing are diminishing, and soon, there is a need for glasses and hearing aids. Possibly, our muscles and minds are less responsive. There is so much more that is changing, and it is only a matter of time before it all catches up and we are different. All we need to do is look at a photograph from ten years ago, and we will see the difference.

Pastor Huls

This can be alarming, but no denial or rejection will change it. Finally, it will be more than a changing world and self that are realized and faced as the inevitable, like it or not. Realizing this will help us prepare for it and even help us accept it. Indeed, many don’t want to accept it, even trying to cover it up with Botox, face lifts, and childish behavior. We can lie about our age and the realities of life, such as inflation and perhaps even climate change. Thankfully, in our changing world, there is hope.

The hope is in God’s Truth that in this world is God’s Kingdom, which is an ever-present force, creating strength and newness within us. Jesus said that the Kingdom of God was within us. The Apostle Paul says in 2 Corinthians 4:16, which has become a strength for millions as they become alert to it, “We do not lose heart, but though our outer person is decaying, yet our inner person is being renewed day by day.” If we focus only on the outer person and world, we will see chaos, age, and loss. If, however, we are alert to all the life God makes possible around and within us, we will see new possibilities, meet new friends, develop new relationships, have an inner consciousness that springs forth out of dormancy, and even tragedy that forces us into struggles and a new awareness of need and dependence.

San Diego Humane Society is supporting families and their pets who need a little extra help.

Through the Community Pet Pantry, anyone can visit our campuses to pick up a bag of dog or cat food, and other supplies, as available.

No appointment is needed for this service. Hours are Tuesday-Sunday from 10am to 6pm.

It all comes to us by brewing alert moment by moment.

Pastor Huls

El Cajon 373 N. Marshall Ave. Escondido 3500 Burnet Drive Oceanside 572 Airport Road San Diego 5480 Gaines Street

For more discussion, please call 760-746-6611.

Pet Parade

Pet of the Week

Boomer

Suki

Boomer is a 7-1/2-yearold, 16-pound, male, Miniature Poodle mix.

He was transferred from a local shelter through FOCAS – Friends of County Animal Shelters.

He spent seven years in his home. His owners can no longer care for Boomer. He needs a new family.

The $75 adoption fee for Boomer includes medical exam, neuter, up to date vaccinations, registered microchip, and a one-year license if his new home is in the jurisdiction of San Diego Humane Society. If his adopter is 60 years or older, the fee will be paid by a benefactor.

Visit Rancho Coastal Humane Society in Encinitas or log on to www.SDpets.org. Kennels are open 11 to 4 Thursday through Monday and Wednesday by appointment.

Meet Suki! This sweet boxer mix came to the shelter after her family was no longer able to care for her, and she’s more than ready for her second chance in a happy home.

Suki is gentle with kids of all ages and has coexisted well with both dogs and cats! With a little patience and love, you’re sure to earn this darling dog’s trust quickly and have a loyal pal for life!

If you can’t resist Suki’s (918142) soulful eyes, charming underbite and sweet nature, visit San Diego Humane Society’s Escondido Campus at 3500 Burnet Dr. to adopt her today! If you have questions about the adoption process, you can visit sdhumane.org/adopt or call 619-299-7012.

Online profile: https://www.sdhumane.org/adopt/available-pets/ animal-single.html?petId=918142

The Paper • Page 11 • October 31, 2024

Technology and AI have changed us. Conclusion started quietly over a hundred years ago as telephones, radio, and then television began to supplant our need to be physically connected to one another. We were no longer isolated on our farms, and in our communities and neighborhoods.

We were citizens of the world.

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760-744-4315 thecomputerfactory.net

Service clubs like Lions, Rotary and Kiwanis have been shrinking for decades as the average age of members has risen. Church membership and attendance are at their lowest level ever.

The average age of an adult Church attendee (sixty) is nearly twenty years older than the average American adult. Almost all of our traditional group activities are in decline. Road rage is on the rise, there is a massive schism between younger and older Americans and we seem to be far less tolerant of our differences than in the past.

Why is it that we seem to be so disconnected and intolerant of one another these days? We all feel it, particularly we OAs (Older Americans over 40) who still remember a far friendlier America. This trend

In the last fifty years technology made us healthier, stronger and safer and further eroded the need for local personal contact The 21 st century gave us mobile broadband access to each other as well as the entire accumulated human knowledge base. Advances in transportation and communications technologies allowed us to grow and consolidate the delivery of commodities and services. International corporations replaced the local blacksmith and cobbler. Convenient access to goods, services and information further reduced our need for local personal contact.

While accessing goods and services may involve human contact, to us they are faceless functions, and to them, so are we.

OAs came of age when personal relationships were a more important part of living. Because we needed each other, we were more tolerant and tended to avoid conflict. We liked to hang out together, we joined service and social clubs, went to church and volunteered.

Sociability is a hard habit to break so we keep going to our club meetings, Church on Sundays and helping out when needed. We had already solidly established our living patterns before mobile broad-band

Internet (IW or Intelligent Web) became a part of everyday life in the first decade of the 21st century.

Many of our kids and grandkids are DNs (Digital Natives, under 40).

They grew up in a different world than we did. For them the sources of goods and services are largely faceless corporations. Entertainment, education, information and personal relationships center around the IW. In general DNs are less sociable and dependent on one another and more likely to rely on the IW as their primary source of the information and socialization.

The DNs are the first generation to be shaped by the AI (Artificial Intelligence) and communication

technology of the IW that we OAs pioneered. There is no going back.

The AO generations will slowly disappear over the next half century but the DNs will continue to evolve ever more effective AI and communications technology. Fretting, worrying or trying to influence the course of the human evolutionary process that we initiated is a “fool’s errand”.

Our place as the graduating class in today’s world is to allow our successors free hand to chart their own future, to keep up with contemporary technology as best we can, to hang out with the other “graduates” for good company and to give advice only when asked for it.

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John Van Zante’s Critter Corner

There’s a Difference Between Adopting and Buying a Pet to become your pet, essentially giving them a new home and providing lifelong care, rather than buying a pet from a breeder; it signifies the act of providing a loving environment to an animal in need.”

was unimpressed.

After 25 years working in animal shelters, I’ve become a purist. Or maybe I’ve turned into a snob. Either way, this week’s Critter Corner is about the terms people use when they get a pet.

A guy at the pet supply store told the cute girl behind him that he “adopted” his purebred, Labrador Retriever puppy from a breeder. It came with AKC (American Kennel Club) papers, and it only cost him $2,900. That included shipping.

That was not an adoption. That guy “bought” a puppy. Cute girl

Another example of buying a puppy is going to a pet store.

While many pet stores work hand-in-paw with shelters and rescues to find homes for their adoptable pets, others are selling puppy mill puppies.

Reputable breeders DO NOT load up their puppies in trucks or trailers and ship them across the country, knowing that some won’t survive the trip. When they get to the pet store, there’s no process to make sure the pet is going to a home where it will be cared for properly. That puppy or kitten is going home with the first person who has enough money available on their credit card. That’s buying a pet. It’s not adopting.

I did a Google search for “What does it mean when you say you adopted a pet?”

The AI – Artificial Intelligence response said, ““Adopting a pet” means that you took in a previously owned animal, usually from a shelter or rescue organization,

I would add that puppies and kittens at shelters and rescues might not, technically, have previous owners. Found abandoned, left in a box, or born in a back yard, they become the property of whichever agency is responsible for animal control in their area.

At Rancho Coastal Humane Society, I refer to the adoptable dogs, cats, and rabbits as “guests.”

They’re not ours. We take care of them temporarily until they’re adopted…not bought.

The Paper • Page 12 • October 31, 2024

Grief from page 5

Oodles from page 3 day, November 16, from 1:00 to 3:00 pm for an in-person workshop titled Chapter One: Beginnings.

We’ll discuss strategies for hooking your readers early and introducing your protagonist in a compelling way. Please be prepared to write in class.

Free to attend at 728 North Broadway, Escondido – Oak Room Please register for each session by phone 760-480-0611 or at https:// bit.ly/3xr4MQG

Matt Coyle brings a wealth of experience as the author of the bestselling Rick Cahill crime series.

He knew he wanted to write mysteries when he was thirteen and his father gave him The Simple Art of Murder by Raymond Chandler.

Matt’s books have won the Anthony, Shamus, Lefty, Authors on the Air Book of the Year, and the San Diego Book Awards. He was named the 2021 Mystery Writer of the Year by the San Diego Writers Festival.

Currently seeking reception volunteers to join our team. Can you spare 3 hours a week? Since 1972, SSCE has provided various services, support groups, tech tutoring and healthcare counseling for seniors in our community. Skills: Reception Desk customer service plus some computer experience, appointment scheduling, emails & website searches is great!

Writers’ Workshops are free, and registration is required as space is limited. Register by calling 760643-5100, press 3, or online: sdcl. org/vista. *** Free Women’s Self-Defense Classes Saturdays, November 2, 9 & 16 10am to 2pm These free classes are held at Palomar College, 1140 W. Mission Road in San Marcos. Open to the public. Ages 14 and up, and for women only.

Limited registration so please sign up early. Email mforest@palomar. edu or call 760-744-1150 x 2289 to register.

Officer Monika Forest has been teaching women’s R.A.D. selfdefense classes for over 18 years.

She has had extensive martial arts training in the U.S. Army and from private martial arts schools. Officer Forest has been a police officer for over 25 years.

Elaine Armstrong retired from Palomar College after 40+ years as a graphic artist, illustrator, web designer, online support person and maintained the Palomar College homepage. She also created advertisements and signage for the college.

For more information visit, https:// www.palomar.edu/police/ *** Community Education Series Join us on the 3rd Monday of each month (10:00am to noon) November 18 – Possibly Cybersecurity Presented by Hospice of the North Coast and the Senior Service Council of Escondido

Volunteers Needed Senior Service Council Escondido

Bilingual volunteers encouraged to apply. Please stop by for more info and an application. Senior Service Council Escondido, 728 N Broadway Escondido, CA 92025, (760) 480-0611, http://www.escondidosenior-services.org *** Chess at Park Avenue Community Center Home of Escondido Senior Center 210 Park Avenue, Escondido 760-839-4688 Chess players of all skill levels are welcome every Wednesday in the shuffleboard building from Noon – 3 p.m. Friendly games with large boards and pieces provided. Follow the signs or ask at the front desk for directions. *** Music Men Chorus Looking For Guys Who Love To Sing A Cappella Do you like “a cappella” singing?

(No Accompaniment). Want to sing in a chorus that sings 4-Part, CloseHarmony Songs with beautiful ringing chords?

If you answer “Yes!”, come visit the Music Men at a Tuesday evening rehearsal and try Barbershop Style singing. We always welcome visitors to sing with us.

We sing a variety of song styles - romantic ballads, patriotic songs, pop tunes, songs from movies and musicals, gospel/inspirational songs, and Holiday music - at public events and private venues in North County.

The Music Men rehearse most Tuesday evenings from 7:00-9:30 p.m. at San Marcos Lutheran Church, 3419 Grand Avenue, San Marcos 92078, in Luther Hall.

Contact Joe Pascucci at (760) 8453593 or joevalp@cox.net. Or check our website, musicmenchorus.org.

Historically Speaking from page 7

ond, they may have a totally different way of coping with loss.”

In Grieving.com a person also disagrees with CNN by stating the following: “Imagining (as in a movie) how we’d feel about a deep loss is nowhere near actually experiencing it. No one knows what it’s like until they’ve been there, lived with that. Even then, you do not really know another person’s loss.”

4. “This is so unfair.” Yes, we agree on this. No rebuttals from any reputable source or from my personal experience. Good one CNN. 5. “I Want to Come Give You a Hug.” CNN lists this as something that should never be said or offered to a grieving person.

Our rebuttal to CNN’s No. 5 is universally agreed upon by credentialed sources. At every funeral, wake, or memorial services, attendees always take turns in hugging/embracing the surviving family member or members, or any loved one who is grieving. This is also true on most every country on Earth. Surviving members expect this as a sincere form of respect. I and my fellow caregivers have given zillions of hugs to wide open arms eager to receive them.

LOSING A LOVED ONE CAN CAUSE “GRIEF BRAIN” & NEUROLOGICAL EFFECTS ON THE BRAIN. Losing a loved one to death is a serious matter. Mourning the loss of someone can actually alter the physical and chemical constitution of human bodies in unseen ways.

Going through grief may leave a “lasting imprint” on the brain and overall mental health.

Bereavement can amplify sadness to deep depression and cause difficulty in lucid concentration.

It can also manifest other irregularities such as anxiety and/or irritability as well as difficulty sleeping soundly.

A person who is in deep mourning and intensely suffers the separation of a spouse can experience what psychiatrists call “Grief Brain.”

Grief brain is a neurological effect and may occur when someone is experiencing an overload of griefGrief continued on page 13

Young Orson Welles in a hastily called news conference The first few bulletins interrupt a program of live music and are relatively calm reports of unusual explosions on the red planet Mars followed by a seemingly unrelated report of an unknown object falling on a farm in Grovers Mill, New Jersey. The crisis escalates dramatically when an on-scene reporter at Grovers Mill describes creatures emerging from what is evidently an alien spacecraft. The aliens employ a heat ray against police and onlookers, and the radio correspondent describes the attack in increasing panic until his audio feed abruptly goes dead.

This is followed by a rapid series of news updates detailing the beginning of a devastating alien invasion and the U.S. military’s futile efforts to stop it. The first portion of the episode climaxes with a live report from a rooftop in Manhattan, from where a correspondent describes citizens fleeing from poison smoke released by towering Martian “war machines” until he coughs and falls silent. Only then does the program take its first break, about thirty minutes after Welles’s disclaimer introduction.

The second portion of the show shifts to a more conventional radio drama format that follows a survivor (played by Orson Welles) dealing with the aftermath of the invasion and the ongoing Martian occupation of Earth. The final segment lasts for about sixteen minutes, and like the original novel, concludes with the revelation that the Martians have been defeated by microbes rather than by humans. The broadcast ends with a brief “out of character” announcement by Welles in which he compared his radio broadcast to “dressing up in a sheet and jumping out of a bush and saying ‘boo!’”

For years to come, Orson Welles became known as the man who scared the nation with a fake radio news broadcast. Arguably, it probably was America’s first mass media “fake” news report. To be sure there would be real “fake” news reports after that 1938 broadcast some 86 years ago. There would be plenty of opportunities during World War II, Korea, and Vietnam for untrue and/ or erroneous news reports. The trick for us today in 2024 is to determine what’s true and what’s fake.

The Paper • Page 13 • October 31, 2024

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HNL Appliance Repair Advertise Your Business & Services Grief from page 12 related feelings, such as deep sadness, loneliness, and recurring thoughts of the deceased.

HOW YOUR BRAIN DEALS WITH GRIEF & HOW WE LEARN TO COPE. Grief is tied to all sorts of different brain functions, says researcher and author Mary-Frances O’Connor. That can range from being able to recall memories to taking the perspective of another person, to even things like regulating our heart rate and the experience of pain and suffering.

Holidays are never quite the same after someone we love dies. Even small aspects of a birthday or a Christmas celebration -- an empty seat at the dinner table, one less gift to buy or make -- can serve as jarring reminders of how our lives have been forever changed.

Although these realisations are hard to face, clinical psychologist Mary-Frances O’Connor says we shouldn’t avoid them or try to hide our feelings. “Grief is a universal experience,” she notes, “and when we can connect, it is better.”

O’Connor, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, studies what happens in our brains when we experience grief. She says grieving is a form

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of painful learning -- one that teaches us how to be in the world without someone we love in it.

Adjusting to the fact that we’ll never again spend time with our loved ones can be painful. It takes time -- and involves changes in the brain to help us cope.

Connor’s upcoming book, “The Grieving Brain,” explores what scientists know about how our minds grapple with the loss of a loved one.

GRIEF IN ADULTS & CHILDREN: 14 MILLION AMERICANS GRIEVE ANNUALLY. In the United States, approximately 14 million people grieve annually, each and every year.

Never forget, grief not only affects adults, but, children as well – many of whom have lost one or both parents.

• More than 57% of Americans have experienced a major loss in the last three years.

• Grief in children. 1.5 million children in the U.S. have lost one or both parents by age 15.

That feeling of permanent loss and separation (never, completely dissipates in the human psyche).

• Grief in older adults: Older adults experience grief at a higher rate than younger adults or children, simply because

their longer life spans, statistically, includes more experiences in deaths.

• Prolonged grief disorder: 7-10% of bereaved adults experience “prolonged grief disorder.”

• Depression: Up to 50% of widows and widowers experience depression symptoms in the first few months after their spouse’s death. However, the initial grieving process can take a year or longer, and the sense of loss and pain of bereavement can last for decades – even a lifetime.

WHAT ARE THE 5 CLINICAL STAGES OF GRIEF? According to the research model of the five stages of grief, or the Kübler-Ross model, those experiencing sudden grief following an abrupt realisation (shock) go through five emotional stages: 1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance

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them, or even how to understand the depth of their pain. One of the most compassionate things we can do is to try and “walk in their shoes,” even if just for a moment, to better understand the weight they carry.

Some say that the impact of grief is nearly impossible to understand until you’ve experienced it yourself. Compassion and empathy are key to supporting someone who is grieving.

SPECIAL THANKS. To all my fans, thank you for your cover story ideas. Please keep them coming! And to my online reader fans from Colorado to Nebraska (my German friend Keene Ruff is starting a fan club of me in Dundee, Nebraska), to New York, Florida, and Europe (viz. U.K., Germany, Italy) thank you so much! I have fond memories of my sojourns in Europe and my host families (especially in Deutschland!)

WALKING IN SOMEONE ELSE’S SHOES: UNDERSTANDING THE JOURNEY OF GRIEF. Grief is a journey that, at some point, touches every one of us.

But while we may all face loss, each person’s path through grief is uniquely their own. When someone close to us is grieving, it can be challenging to know how to offer support, how to comfort

Friedrich Gomez

The Paper • Page 14 • October 31, 2024

Letters from page 4 ty. They’re arrogant, judgemental, and without mercy. Jesus called the “righteous religious leaders” of his day “a brood of vipers.” (Matthew 3:7) God bless you Lyle. You’re a fine upstanding U.S. military veteran who served this country honorably and made me and countless others most proud of you for simply witnessing to the truth.

Patrick Flannigan and his big Irish clan, devout Christians.

North San Diego County *** Let me cut to the chase, my response may be considered very partial, but I’ll take the risk.

Having fathered (3) children the old fashion way (getting married first then having a family) The question about what happens after death? My answer by far is there is a heaven? Yes I say because Christ promised to prepare a home for us.

After accepting Christ I turned off the TV and went back to a very sound sleep. Woke up the next morning still being somewhat dazed and confused but very much aware of what had happened. It’s been (48) years since and I have told this story hundreds of times and except for this time it’s always been the exact same way it happened and only now have I altered the context because of the (300) word context, I’m going to leave the editing up to you.

I could go on about my experiences there have been many divine interventions. But, would it deepen your relationship with the creator of the Universe ? The answer my friend is not blowing in the wind, it’s deep inside your heart and as each and everyone of us knows we all too soon will have to answer to our maker, if you believe it or not!

As for me and my family I choose to worship my Lord, looking forward to crossing over Rainbow bridge where I will see Jesus Christ, my son, and all my puppies !!!

Respectfully, Joseph J Eterno *** Well, congrats Lyle, I think the Evil Christians trying to “gang rape” Friedrich and “dis-robe” him of his “suspected heathen views” is slowyly going viral on the internet!

Dang! With all the church scandals, sexual abuse, and ultra-rich pastors, I shouldn’t be surprised -- but I am! That Friedrich is an irresistible, uncharted, virgin region which the Church seems to be over-

ly eager piling on and irresistibly trying to get him “in church” and “properly trained” as any Christian boy should be. LOL. Leave the boy alone. He is widely loved here and far away (online) from a loyal, loving readership. This is America and you don’t mess with us! A dark day for Christians.

Terry Galloway Escondido *** After reading Letters to the Editor about so-called Christians trying to bring Friedrich Gomez to his knees, it’s really perverted! Everyone reading it at work, etc., said the same thing -- “It’s rather creepy that Christians seem to be so obsessed with Friedrich!!!” Lyle, keep a protective stance around Friedrich. He’s a most beautiful human being and I wouldn’t trust strange and creepy people to be around him. Seriously.

Kenneth Warren, Escondido *** After reading this issue of The Paper I’m truly ashamed of being a Christian today. Everyone’s reading it, so I’ll just let the public see how so-called Christians were horribly wrong in mis-judging and “gang tackling” Friedrich Gomez, which The Paper clearly showed that Friedrich was wrongfully condemned! As a Christian, I like what is found in Matthew 7:3 which says “How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?

You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

Jimmy Solrac, Oceanside, CA Sadly, the recent spate of malicious “Letters to the Editor” fit the classic pattern of what the media has dubbed “Internet Trolls.” New research show that trolls don’t just

enjoy hurting others, they also feel good about themselves in a very perverse way. Psychology Today defined the Troll phenomenon: “Trolling and other predatory tactics can hurt democracy as bad actors and online extremists attempt to manipulate media and propagate divisiveness. Trolls focus on personal attacks rather than on issues they disagree on.”

A recent Letter to the Editor by a Christian named Diane Hanson (if that’s her/his real name) personally attacked writer Friedrich Gomez as “Obviously an agnostic” who worships Einstein as his God. How quick and malicious and without mercy “Hanson” is. How does she know Friedrich Gomez’s religious beliefs before she condemns him as a Christian? Then this week’s predatory attack on Friedrich from another Christian named “James Bounds” who (assumes) Friedrich to be an evil non-believer and therefore attacks him for not believing in Jesus Christ.

A friend “leaked” to me that these two individuals are connected to a particular pastor and church here in our region (which I shall not name at this time). What a scandal this would be. So are these hateful, unmerciful Christians who spew such venom at anyone who does not believe exactly as they do, are they for real or using fake email names?

I have a wonderful solution. Why don’t we have these two individuals “Diane Hanson” and “James Bounds” to have a friendly “Town House Meeting” here in Escondido with Friedrich Gomez.

Diane Hanson and James Bounds -- the ball is in your court. No substitutes. Just you two (properly identified) invited to chat in a charitable public forum with Friedrich Gomez.

Otherwise, we the readership will be amused at other troll emails and fictitious names in the very near (predictable) future.

Anthony Loga

LEGALS ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE FOR CHANGE OF NAME 24CU018309N TO ALL INTERESTED PERSONS: Petitioner Jesse D. Gomez Rodriguez filed a petition with this court for a decree changing names as follows: Present name: Jesse D. Gomez Rodriguez, Jose D. Gomez Rodriguez, Jose De Jesus Gomez Rodriguez to Proposed name Jesse Gomez. THE COURT ORDERS that all persons interested in this matter shall appear before this court at the hearing indicated below to show cause, if any, why the petition for change of name should not be granted. Any person objecting to the name changes described above must file a written objections that includes the reasons for the objection at least two court days before the matter is scheduled to be heard and must appear at the hearing to show cause why the petition should not be granted. If no written objection is timely filed, the court may grant the petition without a hearing.

NOTICE OF HEARING: Date: December 6, 2024, 8:30 am, in Dept. 25 No hearing will occur on above date. Please see attachment The address of the court is: 325 S. Melrose, Vista, CA. 92081. A copy of the Order to Show Cause shall be published at least once each week for four successive weeks prior to the date set for hearing on the petition in the following newspaper of general circulation, printed in this county: San Marcos News Reporter, dba, The Paper, 845 W. San Marcos Blvd, San Marcos, Ca. 92078. Dated October 21, 2024 /s/ Brad A. Weinreb, Judge of the Superior Court 10/31, 11/7, 11/14, 11/21/2024 ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE FOR CHANGE OF NAME 24CU017314N TO ALL INTERESTED PERSONS: Petitioner Hilda Adelia Aparicio filed a petition with this court for a decree changing names as follows: Present name: Hilda Adelia Aparicio to Proposed name Hilda Edelia Aparicio. THE COURT ORDERS that all persons interested in this matter shall appear before this court at the hearing indicated below to show cause, if any, why the petition for change of name should not be granted. Any person objecting to the name changes described above must file a written objections that includes the reasons for the objection at least two court days before the matter is scheduled to be heard and must appear at the hearing to show cause why the petition should not be granted. If no written objection is timely filed, the court may grant the petition without a hearing.

NOTICE OF HEARING: Date: December 6, 2024, 8:30 am, in Dept. 25 No hearing will occur on above date. Please see attachment The address of the court is: 325 S. Melrose, Vista, CA. 92081. A copy of the Order to Show Cause shall be published at least once each week for four successive weeks prior to the date set for hearing on the petition in the following newspaper of general circulation, printed in this county: San Marcos News Reporter, dba, The Paper, 845 W. San Marcos Blvd, San Marcos, Ca. 92078. Dated October 16, 2024 /s/ Brad A. Weinreb, Judge of the Superior Court 10/24, 10/31, 11/7, 11/14/2024

The Paper Owned & Operated by a Veteran lyle e davis

US Army, Entertainment Director 1957-1959 Brooke Army Hospital Fort Sam Houston, Texas “The state of Texas was never invaded while I was on duty at Fort Sam. You could look it up!”

War Correspondent South Vietnam - 1967-68 Assimilated Grade/Rank Lt. Colonel, MACV (Military Assistance Command, Vietnam)

The Paper • Page 15 • October 31, 2024

LEGALS

STATEMENT OF WITHDRAWAL FROM PARTNERSHIP OPERATING UNDER FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME: 2024-9019501 Santa Fe Liquor, located at 590 Santa Fe Drive, Encinitas, CA 92024. The Fictitious Business Name referred to above was filed in San Diego County on 4/20/2022 and assigned file no. 20229009241.

The following partner has withdrawn, David Yaldo, 1987 Corona Vista, El Cajon, CA 92019.

I declare that all information in this statement is true and correct.

(A registrant who declares as true any material matter pursuant to Section 17913 of the Business and Professions code that the registrant knows to be false is guilty of a misdemeanor punishable by a fine not to exceed one thousand dollars ($1000). /s/David Yaldo, Partner This statement was filed with the San Diego Recorder/County clerk on 9/26/2024.

10/3, 10/10, 10/17, 10/24/2024 FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9014814 The name of the business: I Had Those Toys, located at 2541 El Camino Real, Carlsbad, CA 92008. Registrant, Stuart Baya Wan Kearns, 120 Flamingo Drive, Oceanside, CA 92054. This business is operated by an Individual.

First day of business: 11/1/2023 /s/ Stuart Baya Wan Kearns with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 7/18/2024 8/1, 8/8, 8/15, 8/22/2024 FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9020048 The name of the business: Marquez Deem Realty, located at 4535 Troy Lane, La Mesa, CA 91942.

Registrant, La Var Marquez Deem, 1286 University Avenue #553, San Diego, CA 92103. This business is operated by an Individual. First day of business: N/A /s/ La Var Marquez Deem with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 10/4/2024 10/10, 10/17, 10/24, 10/31 FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9019678 The name of the business: Best Grower Nursery, located at 7555 W. Lilac Rd., Bonsall, CA 92003.

Registrant, Bertin Martinez, 200 S. Emerald Dr., #88, Vista, CA 92081. This business is operated by an Individual. First day of business: N/A /s/ Bertin Martinez with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 9/30/2024 10/10, 10/17, 10/24, 10/31 FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9019819 The name of the business: Lev Lion Fitness, located at 4213 Corte Ct., Oceanside, CA 92057. Registrant, Adam Levins, 4213 Corte Ct., Oceanside, CA 92057. This business is operated by an Individual.

First day of business: 2/1/2024 /s/ Adam Levins with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 10/1/2024 10/10, 10/17, 10/24, 10/31 FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9019687 The name of the business: ArtStudio16 LLC, located at 800 E. Bobier Drive, G8, Vista, CA 92084.

Registrant, ArtStudio16 LLC, 800 E. Bobier Drive G8, Vista, CA 92084. This business is operated by a Limited Liability Company.

First day of business: 9/13/2024 /s/ Kalikahina Toure, Member with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 9/30/2024 10/10, 10/17, 10/24, 10/31 FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9019688

The name of the business: Middle Men Auto Center, LLC, located at 800 E. Bobier Drive #G8, Vista, CA 92084. Registrant, Middle Men Auto Center, LLC, 800 E. Bobier Drive #G8, Vista, CA 92084. This business is operated by a Limited Liability Company. First day of business: 9/29/2024 /s/ Mikiel toure, Managing Member with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 9/30/2024 10/10, 10/17, 10/24, 10/31

10/2/2024 10/17, 10/24, 10/31, 11/7/2024 FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9019944 The name of the business: Toshib Selling Toys and Collectibles, located at 7579 Delgado Pl, Carlsbad, CA 92009. Registrant, James Toshitaro Bell, 7579 Delgado Pl., Carlsbad, CA 92009. This business is operated by an Individual. First day of business: 6/1/2023 /s/ James T. Bell with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 10/3/2024 10/17, 10/24, 10/31, 11/7/2024

10/2/2024 /s/ Diana Laura Fuentes Garcia with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 10/2/2024 10/17, 10/24, 10/31, 11/7/2024

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9019473 The name of the business: Source Artistic Restoration & Redesign, located at 2305 Bliss Circle, Oceanside, CA 92056. Registrant, Source Contracting LLC, 2305 Bliss Circle, Oceanside, CA 92056.

This business is operated by a Limited Liability Company. First day of business: N/A /s/ Garrett Staab, manager with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 9/26/2024 10/17, 10/24, 10/31, 11/7/2024

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9018221 The name of the business: Deer Springs Ranch, located at 1115 Deer Springs Rd., San Marcos, CA 92069. Registrant, Elindoro Landaverde, 1850 N. Twin Oaks Valley Rd., San Marcos, CA 92069.

This business is operated by an Individual. First day of business: 6/1/2024 /s/ Elindoro Landaverde with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 9/6/2024 10/17, 10/24, 10/31, 11/7/2024

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9019908 The name of the business: GS Schaffer Insurance Solutions, located at 6870 Tradewinds Dr., Carlsbad, CA 92011. Registrant, Schaffer Enterprises, 6870 Tradewinds Dr., Carlsbad, CA 92011. This business is operated by a Corporation. First day of business: 7/6/2015 /s/ Glen Schaffer, President with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 10/2/2024 10/17, 10/24, 10/31, 11/7/2024

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9019232 The name of the business: AWC Commercial Window Coverings, AWC Drapery Sales & Service, located at 110 Equestrian Ct., San Marcos, CA 92069. Registrant, Nina Elaine Santell, 110 Equestrian Ct., San Marcos, CA 92069, Ryan Macedo, 110 Equestrian Ct., San marcos, CA 92069. This business is operated by a General Partnership. First day of business: 9/1/2024 /s/ Nina Elaine Santell with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 9/23/2024 10/17, 10/24, 10/31, 11/7/2024

NOTICE OF PETITION TO ADMINISTER ESTATE OF Mary A. Rohling Case No. 24PE002155C SUPERIOR COURT OF CALIFORNIA, COUNTY OF SAN DIEGO 1100 Union Street San Diego, CA. 92101 To all heirs, beneficiaries, creditors, contingent creditors, and persons who may otherwise be interested in the will or estate or both, of Mary A. Rohling deceased. A Petition for Probate has been filed by Jeffrey Johnson in the Superior Court of California, County of San Diego, 1100 Union Street, San Diego, CA. 92101 Central Courthouse. The Petition for probate requests that Jeffrey Johnson be appointed as personal representative to administer the estate of the decedent. The petition requests the decedent’s will and codicils, if any, be admitted to probate. The will and any codicils are available for examination in the file kept by the court.

The petition requests authority to administer the estate under the Independent Administration of Estates Act. (This authority will allow the personal representative to take many actions without obtaining court approval. Before taking certain very important actions, however, the personal representative will be required to give notice to interested persons unless they have waived notice or consented to the proposed action.) The independent administration authority will be granted unless an interested person files an objection to the petition and shows good cause why the court should not grant the authority.

A hearing on the petition will be held in this court as follows: Date: 11-21-2024 Time: 1:45 pm Dept: 503 Address of court: Same as noted above.

If you object to the granting of the petition, you should appear at the hearing and state your objections or file written objections with the court before the hearing. Your appearance may be in person or by your attorney. If you are a creditor or a contingent creditor of the decedent, you must file your claim with the court and mail a copy to the personal representative appointed by the court within the later of either (1) four months from the date of first issuance of letters to a general personal representative, as defined in section 58(b) of the California probate Code, or (2) 60 days from the date of mailing or personal delivery to you of a notice under section 9052 of the California Probate code. Other California statutes and legal authority may affect your rights as a creditor. you may want to consult with an attorney knowledgeable in California law.

You may examine the file kept by the court. If you are a person interested in the estate, you may file with the court a Request for Special Notice (form DE-154) of the filing of an inventory and appraisal of estate assets or of any petition or account as provided in Probate Code section 1250. A Request for Special Notice form is available from the court clerk.

Petitioner: Jeffrey Johnson 5612 Cometa Court NE Albuquerque, NM 87111 505-269-8626 DOP: 10/17, 10/24, 10/31, 11/7/2024

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9019845 The name of the business: Bakery Fuentes, located at 1551 W. Mission Rd., #G, San Marcos, CA 92069. Registrant, Diana Laura Fuentes Garcia, 1551 W. Mission Rd., #G, San Marcos, CA 92069.

This business is operated by an Individual. First day of business:

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9020572 The name of the business: North San Diego Headshots & Portraits, located at 249 S. Indiana Ave., Suite 203, Vista, CA 92084. Registrant, David Howell Flatt, 249 S. Indiana Ave., Suite 203, Vista, CA 92084. This business is operated by an Individual. First day of busi-

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9019799 The name of the business: DT Media, Designtec Media, located at 2407 Douglaston Glen, Escondido, CA 92026. Registrant, Stephen Eugene Inscoe, Tina Marie Inscoe, 2407 Douglaston Glen, Escondido, CA 92026. This business is operated by a Married Couple. First day of business: 9/1/1995 /s/ Stephen Eugene Inscoe with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 10/1/2024 10/10, 10/17, 10/24, 10/31 FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9020102 The name of the business: Alex Marquez Roofing & Exteriors, located at 3168 Mira Mesa Ave., Oceanside, CA 92056. Registrant, Alejandro Alex Marquez, 993c S. Santa Fe #136, Vista, CA 92083.

This business is operated by an Individual. First day of business: 10/7/2024 /s/ Alejandro Alex Marquez with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 10/7/2024 10/10, 10/17, 10/24, 10/31 FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9020155 The name of the business: Maximum Property Management, Maximum Real Estate Services, located at 18301 Collier Ave. B, Lake Elsinore, CA 92530. Registrant, Maximum Mortgage Real Estate Inc, 603 Seagaze Dr. #525, Oceanside, CA 92054. This business is operated by a Corporation.

First day of business: 12/10/2014 /s/ Michael Sisco, CFO with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 10/7/2024 10/17, 10/24, 10/31, 11/7/2024

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9019907 The name of the business: GS Schaffer Insurance Solutions, located at 6870 Tradewinds Dr., Carlsbad, CA 92011. Registrant, Schaffer Enterprises, 6870 Tradewinds Dr., Carlsbad, CA 92011. This business is operated by a Corporation. First day of business: 7/6/2015 /s/ Glen Schaffer, President with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9020005 The name of the business: Goodbody Publishing, Goodbody Works, located at 1737 La Plaza Dr., San Marcos, CA 92078. Registrant, Marissa Brooke Goodbody, 10685-B Hazelhurst Dr., #38660, Houston, TX 77043. This business is operated by an Individual. First day of business: 10/3/2024 /s/ Marissa B. Goodbody with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 10/3/2024 10/17, 10/24, 10/31, 11/7/2024 FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9020506 The name of the business: Stuff Of Legend, located at 4203 Lewis Street, Oceanside, CA 92056. Registrant, Christian Cachero Causing, 4203 Lewis Street, Oceanside, CA 92056. This business is operated by an Individual. First day of business: N/A /s/ Christian Causing with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 10/10/2024 10/17, 10/24, 10/31, 11/7/2024 FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9019954 The name of the business: KCM Collectibles, located at 614 Monica Circle, Oceanside, CA 92057.

Registrant, Benjamin Ibarra, 614 Monica Circle, Oceanside, CA 92057. This business is operated by an Individual. First day of business: 6/6/2024 /s/ Benjamin Ibarra with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 10/3/2024 10/17, 10/24, 10/31, 11/7/2024

ness: 1/9/2024 /s/ David Flatt with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 10/11/2024 10/24, 10/31, 11/7, 11/14/2024

Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 10/15/2024 10/24, 10/31, 11/7, 11/14/2024

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9020674 The name of the business: world Class Massage, located at 150 East Broadway, Vista, CA 92084. Registrant, Esther Annabell Sabedra, 2258 Gird Road, Fallbrook, CA 92028. This business is operated by an Individual. First day of business: N/A /s/ Esther A. Sabedra with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 10/14/2024 10/24, 10/31, 11/7, 11/14/2024

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9019706 The name of the business: Archibald Plumbing, located at 817 Palo Alto Court, San Marcos, CA 92069. Registrant, GHA Services Inc., PO Box 1956, San Marcos, CA 92079. This business is operated by a Corporation. First day of business: 11/17/1986 /s/ Carol L. Archibald, CFO with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 9/30/2024 10/24, 10/31, 11/7, 11/14/2024

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9020784 The name of the business: Lavande Spa, located at 838 Nordahl Rd., Suite 175, San Marcos, CA 92069. Registrant, Trimbody SM A Medical Corporation, 838 Nordahl Road, Suite 175, San Marcos, CA 92069. This business is operated by a Corporation. First day of business: 9/6/2024 /s/ Brian Levine, President with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 10/16/2024 10/24, 10/31, 11/7, 11/14/2024

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9020771 The name of the business: Annam Pho & Sandwiches LLC, located at 3809 Plaza Dr., #115, Oceanside, CA 92056. Registrant, Annam Pho & Sandwiches LLC, 3809 Plaza Dr., #115, Oceanside, CA 92056.

This business is operated by a Limited Liability Company. First day of business: 8/23/2019 /s/ Thao Nguyen, CEO with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 10/16/2024 10/24, 10/31, 11/7, 11/14/2024

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9020804 The name of the business: Gamael Roblero, located at 3903 Ocean View Blvd., San Diego, CA 92113.

Registrant, Arktte Roblero, 3903 Ocean View Blvd., San Diego, CA 92113. This business is operated by an Individual. First day of business: 10/10/2024 /s/ Arktte Roblero with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 10/16/2024 10/24, 10/31, 11/7, 11/14/2024

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9020344 The name of the business: Macabee Farms, located at 6806 Caminito Sueno, Carlsbad, CA 92009.

Registrant, Jennifer Barger, 6806 Caminito Sueno, Carlsbad, CA 92009. This business is operated by an Individual. First day of business: N/A /s/ Jennifer Barger with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 10/8/2024 10/24, 10/31, 11/7, 11/14/2024

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9020803 The name of the business: Kingdouz Barber, located at 3903 Oceans View Blvd., San Diego, CA 92113. Registrant, Cristian Candelario Mendez, 3903 Ocean View Blvd., San Diego, CA 92113.

This business is operated by an Individual. First day of business: 2/9/2014 /s/ Cristian Mendez with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 10/16/2024 10/24, 10/31, 11/7, 11/14/2024

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9021059 The name of the business: Sunorganic Farm, located at 411 S. Las Posas Road, San Marcos, CA 92078. Registrant, David Wayne Carr, 411 S. Las Posas Road, San Marcos, CA 92078. This business is operated by an Individual. First day of business: 9/30/2001 /s/ David Wayne Carr with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 10/21/2024 10/24, 10/31, 11/7, 11/14/2024

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9020797 The name of the business: Morningstar Realty, located at 246 El Valle Opulento, Vista, CA 92083.

Registrant, Morningstar Brokerage Inc., PO Box 2256, Vista, CA 92085-2256. This business is operated by a Corporation. First day of business: 5/1/2008 /s/ Peter J. Lusby with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 10/16/2024 10/24, 10/31, 11/7, 11/14/2024 FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9019956 The name of the business: Ocean Floor Covering, located at 1803 Jamaica Way, Vista, CA 92081. Registrant, Jeffrey Bryan King, 1803 Jamaica Way, Vista, CA 92081.

This business is operated by an Individual. First day of business: 10/3/2024 /s/ Jeff King with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 10/3/2024 10/24, 10/31, 11/7, 11/14/2024 FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9020766 The name of the business: Precision Peak Roofing, located at 633 Ascot Dr., Apt 176, Vista, CA 92083. Registrant, Savione Adonis Greer, 979 Woosland Pkwy, Ste 101151, San Marcos, CA 92069.

This business is operated by an Individual. First day of business: 10/11/2024 /s/ Savione Adonis Greer with

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9021187 The name of the business: Angels Auto Glass & Tint, located at 751 W. San Marcos, San Marcos, CA 92078. Registrant, Milan George Ziro, 751 W. San Marcos, San Marcos, CA 92078. This business is operated by an Individual. First day of business: 10/22/2024 /s/ Milan G. Ziro with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 10/22/2024 10/31, 11/7, 11/14, 11/21/2024 FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT 2024-9019969 The name of the business: Depthav, located at 1231 San Julian Place, San Marcos, CA 92078. Registrant, Gregory Scott Kluthe, 1231 San Julian Place, San Marcos, CA 92078. This business is operated by an Individual. First day of business: N/A /s/ Gregory Scott Kluthe with Jordan Z. Marks, SD County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 10/03/2024 10/31, 11/7, 11/14, 11/21/2024

Advertise your Legal in The Paper 760 747-7119

The Paper • Page 16 • October 31, 2024

Chuckles from page 2

Dear friends:

If my flights of fancy annoy you, don’t let the magical talking door hit you on the way out. *** Went to church for the first time in a long time and someone passed me a bowl full of money. I’m gonna start goin’ to church more often!

•••• Democrats in congress refuse to work with Republicans. In other news, horoscopes are made-up and pie is delicious.

•••• Shot my first turkey yesterday!

Scared the hell outta everyone in the frozen food section.

It was awesome!

Gettin’ old is so much fun...

Remember: Don’t make old People mad.

We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to tick us off.

••••

I know you all are very caring people: I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can’t. She is crying. Don’t cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but she says it’s not my fault. I asked her if it was God’s fault, but she didn’t answer, and only started crying harder, so I don’t ask her that anymore.

The reason she is so sad is that I’m so sick. I was born without a body.

It doesn’t hurt, except when I go to sleep. The doctors gave me an artificial body. My body is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us havin’ no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money.

Mommy doesn’t work because she said employers don’t hire crying people.

I said, “Don’t cry, Mommy,” and she hugged my burlap body. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she’s allergic to burlap, and it chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this mes-

sage.

bodiless nine-year-old boy?

Dr. Van Nostrand from the clinic said if you forward this message then Bill Gates will team up with AOL and do a survey with NASA. Then the astronauts will collect prayers from school children all over America and take them up to space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send the money to the doctors.

Please help me. This really sucks. I try to be happy but it’s hard.

The doctors could help me better then. Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Or maybe just use my lungs and heart, when the doctors make them.

The doctors said that every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take another prayer to the angels.

Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don’t want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.

If you don’t forward this message, that’s OK. Mommy says you’re a mean heartless doodyhead who doesn’t care about a poor little boy with only a head. What kind of person are you that you can’t take five friggin’ minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame for the rest of their day, and then maybe help a poor,

I wish I had a puppy. I wish I could hold a puppy.

Thank You. Billy ‘Smiles’ Evans, The boy with just a head.

And a burlap sack for a body.

••••• Even though I’m getting on in years I take great comfort in knowing Mary still finds me attractive . . . particularly my Greek God type of body.

Why, almost every time I walk by her she says, “what an ass!”

••••• You know, if you keep a glass of wine in each hand you can’t accidentally touch your face.

You’re welcome.

••••• No woman has ever shot a man while he was washing dishes.

•••••