Oodles!

Kitten season is almost here. Every spring, thousands of kittens rely on San Diego Humane Society for lifesaving care. During our virtual Kitten Shower, you can help us stock our nurseries with supplies for these precious babies!

By donating a special gift from our Kitten Shower registry, you’ll give fragile kittens everything they need to grow big and strong. Choose from our most-needed items, including:

• Bottles and formula to keep tummies full. Neonate kittens require feedings every 2-3 hours around the clock!

• Heating disks and blankets to keep babies warm. Temperature regulation is a critical part of caring for orphaned kittens.

• Plenty of grooming supplies. Kittens are adorable — and messy! Without a mama cat caring for them, kittens need constant help staying clean and healthy.

Visit our baby registries and select a gift to be sent directly to our nursery doors!

Amazon Registry https://www.amazon.com/ baby-reg/sandiegohumanesociety-kittenshower-may-2023sandiego/1YB6Y0VDUUTTY

Target Registry https://www.target. com/gift-registry/giftgiver?registryId=40e38a10a0fc-11ed-91274d99dc49cb23&type=BABY

Walmart Registry https://www.walmart.com/registry/BR/e2be256d-273c-4bc9b39e-e1638501641c ***

What do you think of Downtown Oceanside?

Take survey for a chance to win a Staycation

If you live, work, eat, shop or play in Oceanside, we want to hear from you. Home to the historic Oceanside Pier, the Sunset and Farmers visit https://www.mainstreetoceanside.com/ouroceanside for more information and to take the survey.

Markets, the Oceanside Cultural District, more than 100 restaurants and so much more, Downtown Oceanside has a rich and diverse history and culture — and a strong and passionate community — that sets us apart from other beach towns.

You’ve witnessed the growth of Downtown, and we would like to know what you think about it now and how to continue to support the areas that make up Downtown.

We need your input for branding our Downtown district and subdistricts and for planning future events, murals and more in a way that remains true to Oceanside’s historical and cultural roots while reflecting all that Downtown now has to offer.

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Submarine Veterans Meeting

Saturday March 25th • 10am

The United States Submarine Service Inc. Scamp Base meets at 10:00 AM: Saturday March. 25, 2023, at Charlies Family Restaurant, 210 North Ivy Street, Escondido. The veteran’s group is open to submarine crew who have qualified to wear the warfare specialty pin, the dolphins (Silver or Gold). Others can apply to become associate members. Visit ussvi.org

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Carlsbad Seeking Nominations for Citizen of the Year

The City of Carlsbad is now accepting applications for Citizen of the Year, an annual award recognizing Carlsbad residents who have provided outstanding service to their community. The deadline is March 31, 2023.

The Citizens of the Year program is more than 50 years old and honors community members who have given their time and energy toward the civic improvement, beautifica-

San Marcos Opens 38th Park

The City of San Marcos opened its new Las Abejas Park on Monday, March 6 – the City’s 38th park to open. The park is located at 999 Woodhaven Road and includes a beautiful new playground for children ages 2 to 5 and 5 to 12. The park will have a picnic shelter and BBQ spaces available for residents and visitors to use for picnics at the park. Additionally, there will be an open green space for children to use for passive play.

“The City of San Marcos is very excited to provide an additional space for friends and family to gather as we continue our legacy as San Parkos,” said Mayor Rebecca Jones during her grand opening remarks.

The City invited the community to provide their input when naming the new park. In Spanish, Las Abejas translates to “The Bees.” The naming of the park not only represents the significance of bees to the economy and biodiversity of the San Diego County, but also the Spanish heritage of San Marcos.

“We are very excited to add the new park to our City and hope residents and visitors enjoy the scenery,” continued Mayor Jones at the ribbon-cutting ceremony.

To learn more about the new park and other parks in the City, visit the Parks and Recreation Facilities Directory at https://www.sanmarcos.net/play/parks-recreation-facilities

Coyote Injured in Illegal Jaw Trap Returns to Wild

A coyote, caught in an illegal jaw trap on a residential property in the City of San Diego, returned to the wild this afternoon after three weeks in care with San Diego Humane Society’s Project Wildlife team. The adult female was rescued by San Diego Humane Society’s Humane Law Enforcement on Feb. 17, 2023, after she was found in the Skyline neighborhood dangling on a chain link fence from a jaw trap attached to her left front leg.

Humane Officers rushed her to San Diego Humane Society’s Ramona Wildlife Center, where Project Wildlife’s medical team provided pain medication, took X-rays and tended to her wounds. The coyote had suffered soft tissue damage to her lower leg due to the trap, but fortunately, no fractures or permanent damage. While under anesthesia, veterinarians also noted the coyote needed significant dental care, including a tooth extraction, which was most likely caused by her trying to free herself from the trap.

The coyote was released back to the wild in a greenbelt area not far from where she was found. “When she first came in, we didn’t think she was going to make it,” said Andy Blue, campus director of San Diego Humane Society’s Ramona Wildlife Center. “Typically, animals caught in these awful traps have such extensive damage, that they are unable to return to the wild and fend for themselves.”

San Diego Humane Society’s Humane Law Enforcement is investigating this as felony animal cruelty. “While we can’t comment on the specifics of this case, the public should know that these traps are illegal,” said Lt. Regina Price with San Diego Humane Society’s Humane Law Enforcement. “Not only are they extremely inhumane, anyone can get caught in them — children, pets and wildlife. There is no excuse for placing them in the community.”

If you suspect animal cruelty or neglect in your neighborhood, please report it to San Diego Humane Society by calling 619-2997012 (press 1 to report animal abuse).

San Diego County is one of the most biologically diverse areas in the United States with the greatest number of endangered species. People from all over the county bring wildlife patients to San Diego Humane Society’s Project Wildlife program for rehabilitation and care. Each year, SDHS gives nearly 13,000 injured, orphaned and sick wild animals a second chance. In 2020, SDHS announced the Ramona Wildlife Center, where they specialize in caring for native apex predators and birds of prey, including hawks, owls, eagles, coyotes, bears, bobcats and, under special pilot authorization, mountain lions.

Man About Town

Your sometimes cranky editor decided to go grocery shopping one day recently. So I headed down to my friendly Vons grocery store on the corner of Citrus and E. Valley Pkwy. As I exited the store and got into my car I found that my car did not want to start. I decided to call a cab or Uber to get home but I discovered I didn’t have my wallet. Too far for an old cripple like me to walk home. No money. No credit card. And my car key did not work.

And then, the Angel appeared!

True, her name was, in fact, Angel. And she was a supervisor at Vons. She called Uber and put it on her credit card. I got home safely, and when I was finally to see Angel again, I wanted to reimburse her, but, she wouldn’t hear of it. “I did a kind thing for someone in trouble and anyone else would’ve done the same thing.”

Contrast that with this past Sunday when I was in the mood for pancakes or waffles. I decided to take Mrs. Davis to IHOP. This was only the second time I had been to IHOP and now I remember why I don’t patronize them more often.

We waited at least 15 minutes to be waited on, and another 20 minutes for our food to arrive.

Terrible, terrible service. I then remembered the last time I was at IHOP the service was terrible as well. They only had 4 or 5 booths occupied, so they were not exactly flooded.

I

will not be going back to IHOP.

Another contrast, several weeks ago my left front tire went flat and proceeded to shred. A lovely lady by the name of Christy Cunningham pointed out the dangerous condition of my tire and pointed me to a solution. Several mechanics at a service station near Ash and Washington, removed my front tire and replaced it with my spare -- no charge!

The next day, my chief chauffeur, drove me to Discount Tires at Washington and Broadway, where Cody, the manager, arranged for my new tire in a matter of minutes. Very, very efficient. Very, very courteous. You can bet I will be going back to Discount Tires when I have a need.

Similarly, I will be going back to Costco Hearing Aids, if and when I have a need, thanks to the courtesy and efficiency of Chris, who solved the hearing aid problem for me in a matter of minutes -- again, no charge.

As I run across businesses that show me great courtesies, or who show great incompetence and/or rudeness -- I shall name names and publish here in the Man About Town column. So fair warning to area businesses -- be on your best behavior. lyle is on the lookout.

Chuckles from page 3 male dog while they were away on vacation.

She had a large house and believed that she would have no trouble keeping the dogs separated.

However, the very first night, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds and rushed downstairs to find the dogs locked together, in obvious pain and unable to disengage as so frequently happens when canines mate.

Unable to separate them and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was late, she called her vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice. She explained the problem to him.

The vet said “Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you right back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and be able to withdraw.”

“Do you think that will work?” she asked.

“It just worked for me!” he replied *** Why I’m Divorced . . .

Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, ‘Happy Birthday!,’ and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ‘Happy Birthday.’

I thought, well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids .... they will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn’t say a word.

So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary, Kay, said, ‘Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!’

It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o’clock, when Kay knocked on my door and said, ‘You know, It’s such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me?’

I said, ‘Thanks, Kay, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!’

We went to lunch.

But we didn’t go where we normally would go. She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Kay said, ‘You know, it’s such a beautiful day - we don’t need to go straight back to the office, do we?’

I responded, ‘I guess not. What do you have in mind?’

She said, ‘Let’s drop by my apartment, it’s just around the corner.’

After arriving at her apartment, Kay turned to me and said, ‘Boss, if you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.’

‘OK,’ I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake... followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and coworkers, all singing ‘Happy Birthday.’

And I just sat there.... on the couch....

Naked. ***

Oxy-morons

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?

7. Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?

8. Why do “tug” boats push their barges?

Visit A Farmers Market

Wouldn’t you rather stroll amidst outdoor stalls of fresh produce on a sunny day than roll your cart around a grocery store with artificial lights and piped in music?

Come to a Farmers Market instead. Here are a few Farmers Markets located in North County. To see a complete list visit https://www. sandiego.org.

Escondido

The Escondido Arts Partnership (EAP) sponsors the Escondido Certified Farmers’ Market on Tuesdays 2:30 till sunset. Located at Juniper Street between Grand Ave and Valley Parkway at Heritage Garden Park in Downtown Escondido.

San Marcos

The San Marcos Farmers Market is conveniently located at 251 North City Drive, San Marcos, CA,

92078, off Highway 78 and Twin Oaks Valley Road and is open year-round, Tuesdays, 3pm-6pm.

Vista

Vista’s Farmer’s Market is the longest running farmers market in the county (since 1981) open in all weather every Saturday from 8:00 am to 12:00 noon. Admission is free and it is located at 325 S Melrose Dr.

Oceanside

The Oceanside Farmers Market is hosted by MainStreet Oceanside each Thursday morning from 9:00 am to 1:00 pm. The event is held in Downtown Oceanside, adjacent to Civic Center Plaza, and features dozens of vendors offering a rich variety of fresh local produce, flowers, nursery items and more.

The event also features vendors of handmade crafts such as jewelry, wearing apparel, soap and lotions, seashells, photography and many others.

Plan to stay for lunch, as you’ll find many food vendors with a wide variety of delicious offerings such as panini sandwiches, gyros, crepes, ethnic foods, and others.

Corner of Pier View Way and Coast Highway.

9. Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game” when we are already there?

10. Why are they called “stands” when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?

12. Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a “wise man” and a “wise guy” opposites?

14. Why do “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things?

15. Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? ***

God Saw you hungry & created McDonalds, Wendy’s, and Dairy Queen.

He saw you thirsty & created Pepsi, Juice, Coffee and Water.

GOD saw you in the dark & created Light.

GOD saw you without a Good looking, adorable, FRIEND ... So He created . . . ME