NOVEMEBER 15 2019

VOL. 69

OBERLIN’S ALTERNATIVE STUDENT NEWSPAPER

EST. 1999

November 15th,2019

Front Cover: Grape Editorial Board Back Cover: Jake Butcher and Jody Shanabrook Editors in Chief: Molly Bryson P.J. McCormick Managing Editor: Charlie Rinehart-Jones

Section Editors: Serena Zets - Features Damani McNeil - Arts + Culture Ben Richman - Opinions Jane Wickline - Bad Habits

Visual Arts Editor: Molly Sheffield

Layout Editors: Maddie Shaw Sam Schectman Amy Baylis Anna Harberger

Copy Editors: David Mathisson Maisie Sheidlower Miriam Khanukaev Levi Dayan

Staff Writers: Jason Hewitt Grace Smith Cameron Avery Fionna Farrell

Photo Editor: Clio Schwartz

Letter from the Editors: Come Be A(n) (Web) Editor!

BY MOLLY BRYSON AND P.J. MCCORMICK | EDITORS IN CHIEF The Grape is hiring a web editor!

Yes, we have a website! We’ve had it for years!

It’s www.oberlingrape.com — but maybe wait a few weeks before you check it out, ‘cause it needs some work. You’ll find a series of staff headshots from 2017, an outdated “Jobs” page (no; we’re not hiring new Editors in Chief—yet!), and a “Subscribe” button that doesn’t work. The animated graphics are kinda cool, but they’re all old logos. (As you might have noticed, “The Grape” lettering at the top of this page doesn’t look like the Goosebumps font anymore; we’ve transitioned to a much classier—one might even call it retro—minimalistic, checkerboard thing). But just because we’re transitioning away from our internet art aesthetic doesn’t mean we’re not, you know, into using the internet. All this to say: we’re hiring a web editor, and it could be you!

Details: - You’ll get paid for four hours of work per issue.

- You’re expected to attend biweekly staff meetings (Sunday afternoons, usually).

- You need to know how to use Wix, and use it well.

Your responsibilities will include: uploading new content to the website after each issue release; making sure the website is accessible, fun to look at it, and easy to use; updating the “staff” page, “jobs” page, and other in-flux pages as needed; and fixing all the errors that currently exist

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We’d consider you a particularly attractive candidate if you: - Have ideas for new web features that might make our site more exciting (ex: interactive graphics, quizzes/polls, animations, etc.)

- Are artistically inclined and have ~design~ experience - Are willing to promote our (soon-to-be impressive looking) website via social media, word of mouth, etc.

- Are passionate about making content accessible To apply: Follow the link to the “Web Editor Application” on our Facebook page. We’d post the application on our website, too, but….

If you can’t find us on Facebook, here’s the link: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/ e/1FAIpQLSeUXZ24VoJ-yhzhixL3lCA7lL2Sx_twks_ dButXhlp3UyVoqw/viewform?usp=pp_url. Just go ahead and memorize it so you always have it on hand.

If you have any questions or concerns, email us at thegrape@oberlin.edu. ◊

Interested in writing for The Grape?

Curious about how to get involved?

Have a doodle/comic/graphic you want to share?

Come to our next contributors’ meeting!

3 PM, Sunday November 17 @ 1st Floor Wilder (room TBD)

Dissipating Dangerous Fentanyl Myths

BY MIRIAM KHANUKAEV | COPY EDITOR Illustration by Smer

Content warning: discussion of drug usage Last Tuesday, an unknown substance found in the Oberlin Walmart parking lot left seven people sick or unresponsive. Some of the exposures occurred in Mercy Allen Hospital and resulted in the emergency room being temporarily evacuated.

In a recent report by The Chronicle, both Chief of Police Ryan Warfield and Lorain County EMA director Tom Kelley stated that they believed the substance to be fentanyl. According to The Oberlin Review, the exposure began when police responded to a suspicious incident at Walmart, but escalated when seven individuals— including a first responder—reported feeling “extremely weak, dizzy, or confused.”

At the moment, however, no toxicologist has confirmed this report. As such, there is currently no reason to believe that what happened last week was a fentanyl overdose. Despite the lack of confirmation by toxicologists, The Chronicle-Telegram was quick to release a report titled “First responders on the scene of Oberlin fentanyl exposure.” But these kinds of sensational headlines, coupled with reporting that focuses solely on symptoms of dizziness, sweating, and fainting as proof of overdose, can perpetuate fear mongering messaging that stigmatizes people who use drugs.

The response to what happened at Walmart last week is reminiscent of countless reports around the country detailing accounts of first responders having mysterious, at times even near-death experiences when encountering fentanyl. In 2017, a similar incident occurred in Ohio, where an officer responding to an opiod overdose, noticed a speck of white powder on his shirt, felt his body “shutting down,” and was quickly dosed with naloxone. This instance attracted coverage from NBC News, The Washington Post, and other media outlets, under the presumption that the officer had assuredly overdosed on fentanyl.

The American College of Medical Toxicology (ACMT) and American Academy of Clinical Toxicology explain in a recent position paper that opioid toxicity (i.e., “overdose” or respiratory depression) from transdermal and airborne exposure to Illicitly Manufactured Fentanyl (IMF) is a near scientific impossibility. Fentanyl has been used by the medical system for pain management and anesthesia since 1968. While there are some formulations of fentanyl that are specifically designed for transdermal absorption (patches) there is specific technology involved in changing the drug to take this form. In fact, even the handling of transdermal patches does not cause overdose.

Most illicit drug supply fentanyl comes in powder or solid form. It must have direct contact with mucous membranes or the bloodstream, smoking, or injection

to take effect.

“Stories are often constructed by stigma. Instead, we can focus on drawing conclusions about what for sure did not happen,” says Matty Levaley, one of the chairs of Students for Sensible Drug Policy (SSDP).

Students for Sensible Drug Policy started meeting last fall, and focuses on administrative policy, harm reduction, and general education around substance usage. Their recent work has involved an open Q&A drug forum and safety and information trainings.

SSDP is also in the process of getting fentanyl test strips in local businesses and counties.

“In fact,’’ says Matty, “a lot of the symptoms that we hear being associated with fentanyl exposure [i.e. dizziness and confusion] can be attributed to panic, especially as a result of recent mass hysteria.”

This is not to say that such symptoms are not real. Rather, according to a recent informational guide created by University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine Toxicology fellow Dr. Ryan Marino, a lot of these symptoms resemble “nocebo” (the negative counterpart of placebo effects) effects or intense panic attacks. While severe, these “nocebo effects” do not resemble symptoms of opioid toxicity, which include slowed breathing, decreased consciousness, and very small pupils.

Our language around fentanyl is crucial: if we continue to discuss fentanyl as being transmittable through skin-to-skin exposure, we give people an excuse not to touch drug users— a population that already struggles to receive readily available care.

Misinformation about fentanyl encourages medically unfounded stereotypes, and this kind of stigmatization can also lead to harmful policies. Past stories have targeted medications such as methadone and buprenorphine, which are used to curb opioid cravings and withdrawals—and already, many government officials, such as US Health and Secretary Tom Price, have made statements against these life-saving medications.

Notably, intense fear-mongering responses on campus have also been impacted by a recent SSDP post on Facebook, which stated that some cocaine circulating on campus has tested positive for fentanyl.

The post details that most drugs on college campuses come in from out of town. Matty adds that instead of making statements such as “these kinds of things happen because I live in rural Ohio,” we should focus on harm prevention tactics, such as getting our substances tested.

Students should be especially mindful of their article continued on next page...

potential position of privilege in conversations surrounding “the opioid crisis.” The town of Oberlin is located in an area categorized as “impacted;” however, many of the students who go here are not always in the same position as those affected by the crisis. Many of us are not from rural communities, nor are all students affected by race/ class privilege the same way. We must also remember that Oberlin is in a college bubble—on campus, we are protected by Campus Safety, rather than the Oberlin Police

Department— and laws do not always affect us the same way that they affect community members. As such, our own relationship to substance usage is not always congruent to what’s going on with the communities around us.

Instead of trying to delineate the specific events of last week’s Walmart incident, or trying to trace where exactly the recent fentanyl came from, I encourage students to educate themselves on harm reduction, and what to do in case of an overdose. For one, prior to ingesting any substance,

using a strip test to avoid potential overdose is essential.

And while drug use on campus may not always be identical to the communities around us, we are not isolated from drug-related harm, so we must be proactive about learning prevention techniques. ◊ For more information on substance-related difficulties and harm reduction practices please contact SSDP. In the case of medical emergencies, please call Campus Safety.

Student Senate Aims to Change Past Inefficiencies GRACE SMITH | STAFF WRITER Asking Oberlin students ‘What is Student Senate?’ elicited various responses along the lines of: “Wow [nervous laugh]. I feel like I should know this, but I don’t.”

“All I know is they send too many emails.”

“I can’t say if it’s effective because I don’t know anything they’ve actually done.”

There is debate surrounding the source of Student Senate’s mystification. Some have pointed fingers at Senate for a lack of transparency while others blame the student body for community apathy. Regardless of your stance on Senate, the core issue seems to be that students can’t take advantage of the resources they don’t know they have. This article aims to clear up some of this confusion and highlight administrative influence of which students could take advantage.

There are three bodies of Oberlin student government: the Student Union, the Student Finance Committee, and Student Senate. Student Union works to create a sense of community and facilitate events on campus. SFC reviews budgets and allocates funding to student organizations and individual ad-hocs. Student Senate is an elected group of 15 students that represent student interests to the administration and Board of Trustees. Senators are elected for a full academic year and elections are open to anyone at the beginning of each semester. Senators are paid Ohio minimum wage ($8.55 per hour) in an effort to make the time commitment viable for students of a variety of financial backgrounds.

Some Senators lead Working Groups that meet weekly and are open to the whole student body. At these meetings, students discuss relevant issues and formulate proposals to the administration. Working Groups change every semester based on the issues senators are passionate about tackling; for example, this semester’s working groups include winter term, student health and wellness, campus dining, international student support, etc. In addition, every member of Senate serves on at least one college committee, typically run by faculty and tackling topics ranging from student life to equity and diversity to admissions. Students outside of Senate can fill out an application to serve on a committee or in a Working Group.

An example of a Working Group’s efficacy is the International Student Working Group led by newly elected Senator Wenling Li. This Working Group aims to improve the quality of international student life. Last semester two international students started a workshop on the barriers of applying for OPT, CPT, and visas after noticing this information was not accessible in the college. Li aims to secure pay for these students so that they can continue this workshop sustainably. In addition, Li hopes to work on the reduction of cultural shock, after noting in her work as a PRSM trainer how international students tended to be particularly disengaged in the program.

Another compelling project is the JED task force involving students, faculty, and Senators Emma Edney and Raavi Asdar. The JED foundation works with colleges and universities to strengthen mental health, as well as substance abuse and harm prevention programming. Treasurer Emma Edney says she started this work “out of necessity… I saw every single one of my friends struggling.” Edney is a member of class of 2021, which has seen a particularly high rate of academic withdrawals.

So far Oberlin College is in the second year of JED’s four year plan. The previous year solely consisted of the Healthy Minds study, which Edney found, “troubling… we scored pretty high in substance use and suicidal ideation.” This year JED released a comprehensive, strategic plan on the goalposts the college must hit, such as reviewing medical leave policy and implementing educational policy for suicidal ideation.

If a student wants to express a question, comment, or concern one-on-one they

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can meet with any Senator during their weekly office hours or contact them via phone or email. This information is attached in an Excel sheet to every Senate Weekly. In addition, Senators convene from 7-9:30pm every Sunday night for Plenary. During Plenary, Senators cover a variety of topics such as updates on committees and Working Groups, approving club charters, and discussing key campus issues.

I attended the third Plenary session of the year, which proved to be

unfortunately long yet sincerely welcoming. A Senator passed out an agenda, which some scribbled notes and doodles on throughout the meeting. The checkin question, “What was your dream job as a kid?,” had people laughing freely around the table. In a moment of uncertainty, I was encouraged by Bridget Smith, who exclaimed, “Please speak! Usually no one comes.” Although a welcoming environment, Senate is not naive of its optics. While taking a group photo (as shown below), a Senator reminded everyone to “spread the butter,” referencing how people of color were grouped in the first photo published in the Oberlin Review.

Dean of Students Meredith Raimondo advised Senators to establish a task force for a revision of Senate’s by-laws. Raimondo noted, “One of the things your by-laws are blocking is your ability to get moving.” She noticed a “groundhog day effect” in which Senators were unable to catch everyone up to speed and accomplish their ultimate goals before new Senators were brought in by the semester elections.

Since then, this task-force has been established to update the Senate by-laws, such as the election system, term length, and interorganizational ties.

While some Senate initiatives are quickly implemented and proven effective, others are far more stagnant. Evidence of this slow process was the move of the Student Health and Counseling Center to Dascomb. This idea was initially introduced by Senate in 2015, but was only implemented this semester. article continued on next page...

Additionally, the idea of the DeCafe reusable bags was introduced and approved last semester. However, it took until last month for the reusable bags to be implemented and single-use plastic bags still haven’t been completely phased out of DeCafe. Although part of this delay was from an incomplete shipment, it also stemmed from slow and convoluted pathways of change.

However, many newly elected Senators are eager to change these traditions.

Joshua Rhodes declared before Senate moves forward, “we have to get our house clean first.” He noted that his role of Communications Director was not even consistent in the by-laws. Kofi Asare, Operations Manager, hopes to represent the needs of student athletes on campus. In addition, he hopes to improve campus life on the student health and wellness working group by finding “what we can do to decrease the amount of people who leave and don’t come back” through better access to counseling and education on self-care. David Mathisson, Chair of the Campus Dining Working Group, hopes to “expand the flexibility of a meal swipe” in DeCafe.

Senate Chair Bridget Smith aims to “make Senate a more inclusive and comfortable space for students.” Last semester, a third of Senators resigned, which Smith believes was heavily influenced by stressful social dynamics, especially concerning social capital and the threat of “cancelling.” This year, Smith is trying to have a more informal Plenary session with more constructive criticism and less jargon. In addition, the Senate plans to host events and retreats later this semester to create a more cohesive group dynamic.

Over the years, returning students seem to grow disenfranchised with Senate.

Typically first years are the largest voting base and it sometimes seems like pulling teeth to get the voting rate to 20%. Senators hope to change this dynamic by increasing transparency and demonstrating that Student Senate is a group of students with genuine intentions and not simply a “tool of the administration.” By design, Senate is effective to the people who seek it out. Joining a Working Group, going to a Senator’s office hours, or simply texting a Senator with one’s concerns can give any member of the community the power to impact administrative policy.◊

Oberlin’s “Visiting” Assistant Professor Problem

BY CAMERON AVERY | STAFF WRITER Illustration by Smer

Oberlin, as we all know, prides itself on being a bastion of liberalism; an institution that’s been at the forefront of American progressivism since abolition. “Change the world,” implores its promotional material. High school students, convinced they’re entering a place dedicated to solving the big issues facing the world, willingly accept the idea that it’s the College itself that’s on the right side of history.

Yet a closer look at the school’s labor practices—particularly its treatment of certain faculty members intimately involved with the success of the College as a whole—points to the fact that the Oberlin administration, like any other school’s, is perfectly content to produce an image of leftism without any of its substance.

The Visiting Assistant Professor is a job title held by many professors at Oberlin: although the exact number is difficult to pin down, they represent a significant portion of the teaching body. It’s almost certain that upon graduating, a student will have taken at least several—and probably many— classes taught by a Visiting Assistant Professor, or VAP. This is a term that Oberlin and countless other liberal arts colleges give to faculty members that are hired on short-term (typically one to two year contracts), and who are not eligible for tenure.

These professors, like their counterparts with tenure-track jobs, are responsible for teaching and grading, holding office hours, and mentoring and advising students. Like all professors, they typically hold the highest degree in their field (for most disciplines, a

PHD), and many have published journal articles, written books, and contributed valuable research to their chosen field.

In other words, there is nothing that distinguishes them from a professor with a secure job: except for one key difference.

VAPs and other contingent faculty members are part of a nationwide class of professors who are subject to rampant exploitation by the institutions

that hire them. Simply put, they are paid less, expected to teach more classes, and have little chance of securing long-term employment from the institution that hired them after their contract expires.

Contingent faculty form an underclass among college professors, a class which is voiceless and barely acknowledged. The relationship between professor and student,

ostensibly the selling point of a small, expensive liberal arts college like Oberlin, is becoming increasingly strained as the school implements budget cuts and hiring freezes.

Visiting Assistant Professors and other contingent labor—once the exception in higher education—have become the new norm. Tenure-track job openings are vanishingly rare, and more and more colleges have turned to cheap, flexible, and disposable faculty members.

It seems too that most students have only a faint understanding of the conditions faced by visiting professors, if they know about them at all: from my own experience, most students don’t know whether their professor is tenure-track or visiting. But this, to me, is exactly the unfairness of it all: it’s not as if visiting or other non tenure-track professors are worse teachers. In fact, it’s far from it: many VAPs are highly rated by their students.

It must be noted that VAPs are different from adjunct professors, who are prevalent in many larger universities (including so-called “elite” ones). Adjunct professors are typically paid per class they teach, meaning they usually make less than VAPs and have perilous levels of job security. Oberlin, as of now, does not hire any adjunct professors. Yet we cannot laud them for this decision. Both adjunct and visiting professors are part of the same group of precarious faculty members whose positions are legitimated by narratives of “crisis” that allow colleges and universities to exploit labor while claiming that this exploitation is necessary to save money. ◊

Multidisciplinary Artist Suzi Analogue Talks Inspiration and Collaboration

BY DAMANI MCNEIL | ARTS & CULTURE EDITOR In October, Amari Newman of Sleepwalker Entertainment, Oberlin DJ Honey Brown, and myself were fortunate enough to ask ex-diplomat and multidisciplinary artist Suzi Analogue a few questions about her origins and artistic process before her set at the ‘Sco. Sitting smack dab in the middle of her international tour promoting the fourth installation in her series of ZONEZ projects, Suzi’s Oberlin stop was a blast to experience. The energy in the ‘Sco was electric as she sang, constructed and looped synths and drums in live time, and danced across the stage. Ultimately, the dynamic performer could not be confined to the stage; as she reached the climax of her final song, Suzi ran around the venue hugging or high fiving each concertgoer before returning to the stage to finish her set.

Over the course of our interview, she spoke about the role her travels play in inspiring her music, describing each ZONEZ record as a snapshot of the time she spent in particular places she’s visited around the globe. Playing shows in places like Beijing, Seoul, and Kampala give her music an international perspective, and provide the artist herself with a unique perspective on the transmission and exchange of culture.

The DJ also spoke to the importance of fostering bonds between diasporic creators on the continent of Africa and those spread around the world, noting the disconnect many Black Americans feel between contemporary art made in Africa. She founded her record label Never Normal Records, a group of musicians and visual artists who share this goal, along with a commitment to using technology to push the boundaries of musical creation and performance.

Check out more on Suzi’s musical influences and record label in the

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interview below, and listen to her latest record ZONEZ V.4: Love Me Louder on all streaming platforms.

Amari: I know that you’ve lived all over -- you’ve been around -but do you have a specific place that you identify with musically, or personally?

Suzi: In general, I always describe myself as very East Coast. So the whole sound of the Eastern Seaboard on the Black hand side, that’s where I got my first education. Growing up in church, everything from gospel music, to club music on the radio, BMore club, Go Go, Hip Hop, and then something about the East Coast…people always move there from all different places, so you get this influx of music like hip hop from Detroit and Chicago. That’s how I categorize, that’s what I feel close to sound wise that experience of so many different sounds as you travel up and down the highway.

Amari: You grew up in Baltimore, right?

I actually grew up in Virginia! My fam is in NC but I grew up in the 804 actually , in the Richmond area. I grew up in Central and Southeast Virginia, and the musical vibe growing up was definitely bass out the trunk, and stuff like No Limit! Adding subs to my car was my dream, I loved to ride with anyone who had them. I would say even though I herd club music or gogo on the weekends, that was ONLY on the weekends, and throughout the week it was very southern, bass oriented rap music growing up. And RnB! Damani: Broadly, who are some of your favorite folks to collaborate with, and who are you looking forward to collaborating with? And

also specifically with [DC rapper] Nappy Nappa, how did y’all end up collaborating? What’s the story there?

Collaboration wise, I’m actually always down to collaborate with anyone.

Early on when I lived in Philly we had Klipmode, which was me, Knwlxdge, Mndsgn, Devin Who. We collaborated a lot and I liked that, but that was a specific phase of my life where I was in Philly. After that I didn’t really tend to collaborate with any one person, it’s just kinda who’s around and who’s inspired!

Nappy Nappa is coming out of Southeast DC, and he’s a part of my Never Normal Sound System!

Damani: Tell us more about Never Normal!

Because I realized I love collaborating

with so many people, I decided to form a collective called Never Normal Sound System. It’s a group of people making diasporic, modern music. It’s a group of people who embrace the concept of using technology in the creation process and performance of new work! I’m very multidisciplinary, so I really love to collaborate with the people in the Sound System on other stuff than music. I’ll do a shoot, I’ll style someone, I’ll do someone’s graphics, I’ll do whatever! I started my label Never Normal Records because I love the entire process of creating records. Generally I’m actually a big collaborator, and recently I’ve been collaborating with people from all over the world, and I wanna keep that going! ◊

Jesus is King Doesn’t Deserve the Praise

BY JASON HEWITT | STAFF WRITER *Long, deep sigh…* I miss the old Kanye. He’s certainly been on a different and more problematic wave than he rode in the past, and it’s been a heartbreaking transition to see for many of his (former) fans. However, he still has a massive fanbase worldwide, one that doesn’t seem to mind his “outspokenness” on topics such as Donald Trump, what his wife wears in public, and now, his views on Jesus Christ. Kanye has interacted with Christianity for his entire career, so a gospel album isn’t something that is completely surprising from him.

Jesus is King has been one of the most heavily anticipated records of 2019. Kanye has been quiet on the music front since his last ≠≠collaborative album with Kid Cudi, Kids See Ghosts. This beautiful project received heavy praise from both fans and music critics alike, and for good reason. Sure, Kanye was still repping Trump as much as he could, but at least the record had quality production and sound. Kid Cudi also had a lot to do with the execution of the album: he definitely played a huge role in the wavy production, catchy hooks, and decent lyricism which allowed Kids See Ghosts to be a quality project that was widely enjoyed. Since then, everyone has been looking forward to seeing what Kanye does next musically.

To promote his gospel album, Kanye had viral videos of himself conducting gospel choirs, and honestly, the music sounded beautiful. As somebody who played guitar in Baptist churches in the South, I know what gospel music sounds like. I have been in sanctuaries where people have caught the Holy Ghost and started dancing around the altar because of the power that church music can provide. That’s what gospel music is supposed to do. Do you remember that feeling when you heard Ultralight Beam for the first time? That’s what I wanted to see from this album. Unfortunately, that feeling isn’t what the public received from Kanye with Jesus is King. The album is lacking in so many areas, and it is my absolute pleasure to tell you exactly why it isn’t a quality gospel album.

Generally, one of the things that’s most disappointing about the album is that it felt like one huge pump fake. It started off on a high note with the song “Every Hour.” In the song, the “Sunday Service Choir” belts out beautiful melodies while praising God behind some very solid production. It had that rich and lively gospel sound that is all too familiar, and I was 100% with it. One thing that I’ll give Kanye some credit for is the production. He very rarely misses on production, so I figured that wouldn’t be the issue with this album. With a strong intro, I figured that I was in for a wonderful listening experience…. However....

Kanye started rapping on the following track. That’s when everything went south.

The biggest problem with Jesus is King lies in the fact that Kanye does not say anything worthwhile. How is this man talking about GOD in the most basic and lackluster ways imaginable? If Kanye is going to produce a gospel album, I’m expecting deep bars about God and how great he is. A significant amount of Kanye’s rapping is about… himself.

Sounds about Kanye, right?

This pattern of good production and wack bars continued throughout the entire album, and it was extremely frustrating to listen to. It felt as though every track was (almost) there, but each of them was just missing something, and that “something” was Kanye.

He didn’t bring it lyrically, and that’s where the album significantly lacks. Ty Dolla $ign, Kenny G, and gospel legend Fred Hammond contributed to the album, and even they couldn’t save it.

If I were to rate the album on a scale of one to ten, I would give it a four or a five. It wasn’t a complete and total mess, but it definitely doesn’t come close to the masterpieces he’s released in the past. This man made “Jesus Walks” and “Ultralight Beam.” With those beautiful gospel influenced tracks, I expected more. Music is subjective, so don’t let my review stop you from listening to it. If you really want my take, though, he doesn’t deserve another dime from you. ◊

“MUSIC IS SUBJECTIVE, SO DON’T LET MY REVIEW STOP YOU FROM LISTENING TO IT. IF YOU REALLY WANT MY TAKE, THOUGH: HE DOESN’T DESERVE ANOTHER DIME FROM YOU.”

What Bruce Springsteen Taught Me About Depression

BY LEVI DAYAN | COPY EDITOR Life is good when you’re the boss. That’s certainly a reasonable takeaway from glancing at Bruce Springsteen’s nearly 50year musical career. Since his debut in 1972, Springsteen has gone on to record a string of classics, including one of the best selling albums of all time, Born in the USA. With that album, Sprinsteen broke a record for most top 10 singles on one album, a record that has only been tied by Michael and Janet Jackson and Drake. He won an Oscar in the mid 90s for his contribution to the film Philadelphia, he’s been playing arena shows since long before I was born, and has become among the most lionized artists of the rock canon, with songs such as “Born to Run,” “Thunder Road,” and “Badlands” permanently embedded into classic rock radio rotation. Even as Springsteen turns 70 this past week, he still somehow manages to dominate conversation; he published a memoir a few years ago, had a show on Broadway the last couple of years that was also given a Netflix special, and this past year has both released his most acclaimed

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album in years and has been the subject of a major motion picture.

Amongst all of this commercial success and critical acclaim, it makes sense that Springsteen the musician, and especially Springsteen the person, are both sometimes dwarfed by Springsteen the icon. Though he’s inspired diverse artists, ranging from The Clash and Patti Smith to Kanye West, there are many who still view him as a tired boomer symbol of American exceptionalism. Perhaps the only thing Oberlin students and Ronald Reagan have in common -- though with drastically different connotations -- is that Springsteen is seen by both as a flag-bearing totem of white masculinity. This perception couldn’t be further from the truth.

I had a completely unique introduction to Springsteen that I’m sure absolutely no one can relate to: my parents. Along with The Beatles, The Band, Simon & Garfunkel, Bob Dylan, and Hank Williams, Springsteen is one of the few musicians who I feel like I’ve been hearing longer than I’ve been alive.

When pressed, my mom will always say her

favorite song of all time is “Thunder Road,” and while I wouldn’t choose favorites, I can’t say she’s wrong either. Meanwhile, I’d say a solid 90% or so of my deepest conversations with my dad have involved Springsteen in some way or another. My dad has a bottomless well of knowledge when it comes to the Boss. It seems every other day he has a random anecdote about how “Working on the Highway” originally had much darker lyrics, or how Springsteen would drop songs from a classic album such as Darkness on the Edge of Town, simply because they didn’t fit in with the rest of the album thematically. Some of these songs, such as “Fire” and “Because the Night,” would later become hits for other artists. . Given this context, no matter how analytical and unsentimental I try to be when writing about Springsteen’s music, it’s impossible for me to pretend this isn’t something really deep and personal to me.

Another thing that may have been passed on to me from my family is depression and anxiety. I’ve heard people say that all generations of Jewish people seem to be depressed in the same way; I can’t speak to the truth of that, but I can say that depression and anxiety have been causing issues in my family long before my sister and I had the misfortune of coming of age in these particularly miserable times. I was diagnosed with asperger’s syndrome at a young age, and spent much of my early childhood in blissful ignorance of my various idiosyncrasies. I wasn’t sure why I always had to go to speech and behavioral therapy, but didn’t really give it any thought as long as I got to go home and watch TV afterwards. By the time I transitioned from middle school into high school, which was coincidentally around the same time my obsession with music exploded, it soon began to hit me that a lot of people didn’t really understand what I was going on about most of the time and preferred not to have to deal with me. I blamed myself entirely, and even as schools changed, social situations shifted, and some things improved for me, I always blamed myself for every single issue I faced.

Things have improved a lot since then, but I remain all too familiar with the feeling of being crushed by the weight of the world, overwhelmed

by my natural condition, or feeling helpless in times of change.

Similarly, Springsteen has also had more than his share of mental health struggles.

As he grows older and turns introspective, he’s been more open about these issues than ever, especially in his memoir and Broadway show. Like me, Springsteen grew up as a weird, insecure, somewhat alienating child. Springsteen has also suffered from depression, and described his struggles in a recent interview with Esquire, saying: “I have come close enough to [mental illness] where I know I am not completely well myself. I’ve had to deal with a lot of it over the years, and I’m on a variety of medications that keep me on an even keel; otherwise I can swing rather dramatically and . . . just . . . the wheels can come off a little bit. So we have to watch, in our family.

I have to watch my kids, and I’ve been lucky there. It ran in my family going way before my dad.”

Much of Springsteen’s book and broadway show seems to center around these hereditary themes, and the futility of trying to escape your own past, in addition to that of your family. I’m blessed to have had a much, much more peaceful upbringing than Springsteen, but the feeling of being destined to suffer living through these conditions is something that I can relate to as well.

Like many people, I certainly wouldn’t have guessed these things about the Boss. I definitely knew he had more than his share of sad songs — hearing “The River” as a four or five year old was probably the first time a song made me step back and think “holy shit, that was depressing” — but sad songs are everywhere.

I knew he had a reputation for being a “poet of the losers,” but I always thought that was a sort of character he played up (in some ways I was right - in Springsteen on Broadway, he talks about he never had a job and didn’t know how to drive until his 20s, despite being the patron saint of the working man who writes about cars and youth escapism like most people breathe).

I merely associated his music with my parents and my childhood, and didn’t really think much of the deeper meaning of his lyrics. article continued on next page...

Bruce Springsteen (continued) But the moment that changed was when I listened to Nebraska for the first time, an album my dad always talked up (he once recommended it to my sister by telling her it “kind of sounds like Elliott Smith”) but one that had zero recognizable songs for me. Hearing the guy who did “Glory Days” and “Tenth Avenue Freeze Out” sing such devastating, bleak, and personal songs left a major impact on me. For the first time, listening to Nebraska, I felt like he was right in the room next to me, singing to no one through the wall, rather than singing for a packed stadium where he belonged. Eventually I began to realize that, in some way or another, all of his albums are kind of like this. Darkness on the Edge of Town, possibly my favorite of his albums, might be even bleaker than Nebraska, with choice lyrics including “you’re born into this life paying for the sins of somebody else’s past,” “you’re born with nothing and better off that way,” “I lost my money and I lost my wife. Them things don’t seem to

caring for yourself and others around you. It’s earnest without being sentimental, emotional without being overwrought, depressing without being hopeless, and uplifting without being blindly optimistic, and above all, beautiful without being too precious. His music does what all of the best music does: filter the pain of both the personal and the universal into something beautiful and accessible.

In short, even though it can be frustrating to see his songs misinterpreted and his music conflated with the image projected onto him, there’s also something comforting about a man as open about his insecurities and emotions being so widely embraced by the public.

And it goes without saying that seeing someone who is sort of a giant in my life speak openly and without shame about struggling with depression is an incredibly empowering thing for me personally. ◊

“PERHAPS THE ONLY THING OBERLIN STUDENTS AND RONALD REAGAN HAVE IN COMMON THOUGH WITH DRASTICALLY DIFFERENT CONNOTATIONS–IS THAT SPRINGSTEEN IS SEEN BY BOTH AS A FLAG-BEARING TOTEM OF WHITE MASCULINITY. THIS PERCEPTION COULDN’T BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH.” matter much to me now.” Even Born in the USA, his big “sellout” album, is full of songs of inner hardship: the title track is a bitter, emotional protest, “Downbound Train” connects economic failure with romantic failure, “I’m On Fire” is about being overtaken by lust, and “Dancing in the Dark,” the big hit from the album, is as much of a telling portrayal of depression and boredom as is possible for a pop song. And don’t even get me started on “The River,” the one I knew was depressing even as a child with no understanding of the universe: “is a dream a lie that don’t come true, or is it something worse” — I mean, jesus fucking christ.

That’s not to say Springsteen is a total downer, though he certainly can be when he wants to. In addition to the themes of class struggle, romanticism, and escapism, a feeling of hope connects all of these songs, the idea that even if we can’t overcome the hardest facts of life, we can learn to live with them and to make the most out of what life has given us. Above all, Springsteen’s music shows that pain and sensitivity are not vices or virtues, but rather everyday emotions that no one should be barred from expressing. This is a big part of why his music has resonated with my experiences. His songs are nothing if not driven by emotion, by a deep sense of

Issue 3 Playlist

BY DAMANI MCNEIL | ARTS & CULTURE

“In My Room” - Frank Ocean “holy terrain” - FKA twigs (feat. Future) “Hard To Say Goodbye” Michael Kiwanuka “Wanna Ball” - Flipp Dinero (feat. Jay Critch) “Colarado” - Kota the Friend “BEST 16” - Suzi Analogue “Pill” - D Savage “Powaline” - Liv.E “Double C’s” - Quando Rondo “SOLID PT II” Thouxanbanfauni

Illustration by Matteo Debole

“Cashmere Tears” - Kojey Radical

A Peek Into Omid Shekari’s Of Agression and Domination Omid Shekari is a haunted artist. His work, which deals primarily with the effects of U.S. military action abroad, does not only depict ravaged human subjects, but reworks the language and imagery of war into a conceptual framework that is at once commemorative of and defiled by the (ghosts of) victims, soldiers, and political leaders implicated in our country’s violent history of foreign affairs.

Shekari’s latest exhibition—aptly and informatively named Of Aggression and Domination—comprises around twenty works that all center around the human experience of war, and the U.S. media’s corrupt and disingenuous coverage of it. On opening night, the space—despite being well populated—feels oddly and eerily quiet, and I am struck by the simultaneous sense of weight and ephemerality present throughout Shekari’s work. Arranged on the southernmost wall of the front room are four rectangular drawings, the first of which is entitled “800 and Counting” and depicts a handwritten list of all the known U.S. military bases currently or recently located overseas. Compounded in such a way, the list feels massive, and yet the wavering border of gold (a substance which, upon further inspection/reading, I identify as powdered bullet shells), implies a state of transience. As my eyes shift between the written words and the streak of sparkly bullet shells smeared across the page, I am reminded that the spectacle of violence has the power to obscure—even dilute—the factual, numerical proof of war.

replaced by bullet shell powder, a substance which is, evidently, Shekari’s choice surrogate for war.

The further into the gallery I go, the more chillingly realistic Shekari’s visual narratives become. A large tapestry-like piece hangs from the western wall, depicting a man—identified by the wall text as Iraq war veteran Jon Turner—slumped over with his arms extended, like a zombie. One of his legs, which is significantly shorter than the other (a war injury, I am made to assume), is strapped onto a block. The block seems heavy and cumbersome; it drags. A blown-up pointer finger (the hand of militant authority?) pushes at the small of Turner’s back. Overlaid atop his profile is the heavy handed scrawl of his testimony; it begins: “On April 18, 2006, I had my first confirmed kill.” It is unclear whether Turner’s story is one that should be widely and ostensibly known, but his experience remains poignant, nonetheless. The viewer has no choice but to bear witness to Turner’s tragic reality, and to attempt to understand the conditions under which he was encouraged and rewarded for committing such a crime.

“My right leg is 4 inches shorter than the left one!” By Omid Shekari

BY MOLLY BRYSON | EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

expose Shekari’s viewers to the militarized violence “from which others have no escape.” Upon hearing this, I begin to feel guilty for not having participated, but a rereading of Shekari’s artist statement alleviates—and confirms— my unease. “This exhibition strives to reflect how liberal and conservative media dominate the national conversation about the US military actions overseas,” it says. “It seeks to show how distorted this image has become.” If the media didn’t misrepresent the realities of our nation’s militancy, might these kinds of testimonies be commonplace?, I think. Might I have less of a visceral aversion to such content, if such content weren’t consistently corrupted— essentially negated—by the people who have a responsibility to communicate it to us?

Of Aggression and Domination is visually compelling, yes, but it is also political in a way that forces its viewers to confront the consequences of our nation’s history of violence, and to contend with their own (often invisible, but no less significant) role in it. By implicating his audience in the visual, physical, and emotional

“IF THE MEDIA DIDN’T MISREPRESENT THE REALITIES OF OUR NATION’S MILITANCY, MIGHT THESE KINDS OF TESTIMONIES BE COMMONPLACE? MIGHT I HAVE LESS OF A VISCERAL AVERSION TO SUCH CONTENT, IF SUCH CONTENT WEREN’T CONSISTENTLY CORRUPTED—ESSENTIALLY NEGATED—BY THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY TO COMMUNICATE IT TO US?” The following three drawings have human bodies as their subjects, but the bodies are all proportionally or anatomically warped. In “Can’t Go,” a decapitated, surgical-masked head floats behind a lone partition (the kind you find in hospitals to divide the rooms of patients).

A wall of powdered bullet shells looms in the background.

In “This administration is dominated and directed by wealth…” a series of naked and sparsely clothed bodies appear to be waiting in line to be turned to dust (A.K.A. powdered bullet shells). In “The Institution Is So Big,” three toso-less people—thus diminished to the size and stature of small animals—stare up at a fenced-off building, the sides of which are decorated with strips of glittering gold (A.K.A.—you know what). In each of these drawings, pieces of the human subject are erased and

November 15th, 2019

Positioned in the corner of the room is a desk with a microphone on top of it. A woman sits there. She reads from a stack of papers, testimonies and confessions from various U.S. war veterans. Her voice wavers; she is saying: “We just picked up all the rocks and smeared him. We just wiped him out.” She stops. This interactive piece is called “I can’t read it.” The woman gets up and motions for me to take her place. “It’s a different experience to read it out loud,” she tells me. I believe her, but decide against it. I do not want to hear the echoes of my own voice describe an act of murder. I do not want to sound responsible.

Sam Merrick, a student of Shekari’s who assisted with the development of the exhibit, says that the inclusion of these testimonies—and the invitation to read them aloud over a microphone—is an effort to implicate and

experience of his artwork, Shekari directly resists—and attempts to change—our country’s culture of ignorance.

“Working with [Shekari] has definitely given me ideas about how to channel my own feelings of sorrow for the current state of things into functional creations that connect with other people on a most basic level,” says Merrick—and to me, that’s just the point. ◊

Remembering Oberlin’s History: The 160th Anniversary of John Brown’s Raid

BY BEN RICHMAN | OPINIONS EDTOR Just a few weeks ago, Oberlin celebrated the 160th anniversary of John Brown's raid, an event that many forget included Oberlin Students. The 1859 raid on a U.S. Arsenal at Harpers Ferry, Virginia was meant to incite a slave revolt across the United States, yet it resulted in the death for most of the people involved, and the hanging of John Brown himself. This violent enterprise, that many at the time regarded as foolish and destined to fail, had its roots at Oberlin College.

The Oberlin of the mid 1800’s was a hotbed of abolitionism. Along with Oberlin housing stops on the Underground Railroad, black and white Oberlin students and residents also participated in violent and dangerous acts in order to fight for abolition and

America’s colonial practices in China reveals the flipside of Oberlin’s historical coin. The same religious trend in Oberlin’s history, which influenced much of the radical abolitionism of the 19th century, also influenced violent colonial practices, which involved missionary work around the world.

In Oberlin’s mixed bag of progressive and destructive historical moments, how do we remember events like these? Often times the radical and progressive moments overshadow not so radical trends in Oberlin’s history.

The acceptance of women and black students tend to overshadow the violence that many black students faced, just as the radical abolitionism of Oberlin’s past tends to overshadow the great awakening-inspired practices of Oberlin’s students that don’t fit in with

IN OBERLIN’S MIXED BAG OF PROGRESSIVE AND DESTRUCTIVE HISTORICAL MOMENTS, HOW DO WE REMEMBER EVENTS LIKE THESE? help the escape of freed slaves. Oberlin students were involved in the battle over whether Kansas should legalize slavery, an event known as “Bleeding Kansas.”

A few months before the raid on Harpers Ferry, Oberlin celebrated the release of residents who broke with the fugitive slave act and prevented an escaped slave from being sent back down South in what was called “The Oberlin-Wellington Rescue.” These events made Oberlin a perfect recruiting location for John Brown, who was joined by three black residents and students who were all later killed fighting to end slavery.

The three men were John Copeland, an Oberlin student and carpenter who was active in Oberlin’s anti slavery society, Lewis Leary, a harness maker who also participated in “The Oberlin-Wellington Rescue,” and Sheilds Green, a former slave and close friend of Frederick Douglass, all of whom found their way to Harper’s Ferry with the hopes of changing the world by any means necessary. They saw violence as an appropriate means to fight the far more violent system of slavery and were unabashed in their radical methods that ended up costing them their lives. Those three men are commemorated on a 144-year-old, faded statue in Martin Luther King Park on the corner of Vine and S. Pleasant St. The worn obelisk is difficult to read and even more difficult to notice in the back of the small park.

The monument’s subtlety is made even more apparent when compared with the Memorial Arch on Tappan Square. That large, beautiful monument, which fills Oberlin brossures and stands proudly in the center of campus, celebrates Oberlin student missionaries, only 40 years later, who died in the Boxer Rebellion in China. This monument to Oberlin’s involvement in

Lewis Leary, Oberlin Resident and Participant in John Brown’s Raid

our current progressive values. When looking around at the names of campus buildings and monuments, you would think that Oberlin is, and has always been, extremely proud of our religious history (i.e Finney Chapel, Tappan Square...etc). This discrepancy in Oberlin’s physical memorials and the historical narrative that Oberlin forms on its brochures shows the inaccuracies in Oberlin’s chosen historical narrative, one that is common across many colleges. Though Oberlin is beginning to change this trend through the renaming of buildings like Terrell Library, it is still important when looking at Oberlin’s history to take into account all perspectives, and look at the moments that Oberlin might not want to advertise along with those progressive moments that don’t get enough advertisement. ◊

Monument to Black Oberlin Residents who died in John Brown’s Raid

Keeping Them Firmly Out: From Show and Tell to Parents Weekend

BY FIONNA FARRELL | STAFF WRITER What happens in the kindergarten classroom stays in the kindergarten classroom.

This was five-year-old me’s favorite maxim. Why? Because it kept my parents on a short leash. And boy, was I convinced they needed one.

I would wake up and tell myself I don’t need my and my fellow ragamuffins’ every move being scrutinized by big scanning Adult Eyes! I am in kindergarten to be free, and to relish in my freedom!

For the most part, I got what I wanted. Kindergarten was like Lord of the Flies.

But there was always one day a year when, unfortunately, my parents’ leash grew dramatically in length. This was the dreaded day of Show and Tell. For some stupid and bogus reason, parents were invited to this estranged ceremony.

When the fated day came around, there, as always, was my faithful old mother, fitted into a chair that was much too small for her. I tried not to make eye contact with her and just focus on my pet rock, Addison. But,

of course, who was my mother not to indulge in some (quite unnecessary) rock-inquiry? She asked me, in a very patronizing way, what Addison ate. Come again?

Addison is a rock. She doesn’t eat. I wanted to grab her by the shoulders and scream Do you know anything about rocks? Do you know anything about how the world works?

But I kept my cool.

Eventually, after my presentation of Addison, my mother departed. I was left in my natural habitat again, where my routine for living would go uninterrupted by the infringement of Outsiders. Except, something didn’t feel quite right. Man, why was there a little tempest in my stomach? Who was I to know.

Maybe college isn’t quite like kindergarten. And maybe Parents’ Weekend isn’t quite like the fated day of Show and Tell. I’m in Ohio now, I’m no longer five years old, and Addison is no longer with me. Tisk tisk.

Aside from these crucial differences, though—and, alright, maybe just a few others—Show and Tell and Parents’ Weekend possesses certain uncanny parallels

WE HAVE ALL WORKED HARD TO CONSTRUCT OUR OWN COMFORTABLE NOOKS—-THE CATCH IN THEIR COMFORT, THOUGH, BEING THAT NO ONE ELSE FROM THE OUTSIDE CAN ENTER THEM.

November 15th, 2019

that should not go unignored. We have all worked hard to construct our own comfortable nooks—-the catch in their comfort, though, being that no one else from the outside can enter them. Not on Show and Tell day, not ever. College me believes this just as much as kindergarten me did.

Just as my five-year-old self pretended that my mother was not in the room by refusing eye contact with her, I pretend that my parents aren’t “really” there on Parents’ Weekend by...not looking at them? Well, it gets a bit tricky there. Instead, I employ another handy trick, the oldest one in the book. I lie, or fib, or sometimes only innocently exaggerate a little, about my lifestyle here as a means to separate myself from them.

In their eyes, this is a lifestyle in which I, everpossessed by a most serene rationale, have a full handle on my entire academic, social, and emotional trajectory all at once. In which I am having fun but certainly not in the excesses that often precede recklessness. In which there are not stink bugs inhabiting my room (they’re gone now) and majoring in Philosophy will definitely get me a job after graduation. In which I do not think three hours of sleep and five cups of coffee is basically eight hours of sleep because three plus five equals eight.

In which all of these things, among many others, do not constitute the fabric of my daily life at Oberlin.

After the success of lying comes the obligatory entertainment: of course, this is what lies at the heart of Parents' Weekend just as it did Show and Tell. I must produce some sort of spectacle so they don’t lose their damn minds and start questioning how rigorously I’ve been caring for Addison then or myself now.

What’ll it be? There’s nothing more entertaining than knowing your child won’t starve, right? I bet. So, it’s the obligatory trip to The Feve, where the old and young become one, or maybe even Lorenzo’s, if you prefer going behind The Feve to The Feve. Then, maybe, take them to one of those lecture series? Really there is no better time than now to learn about neuroscience or 18th century feminists. Just as long as the lecture isn’t being led by one of my professors. Oh, but they’d like to meet one of my professors? Okay, but as long as it’s the one whose classes I’ve been doing the reading for.

Add some ambiguous interactions with housemates or a regrettable trip to the ‘Sco and they’re gone. And, once again, I’m left with a baby tempest in my stomach.

When my mom inquired of mini-me what Addison ate, I laughed as politely as any five year-old could and responded with a neutral “I don’t know, I’ve never seen her do it before.” I did not erupt in ire and exclaim “No! What do you think she is??” When my parents dutifully remarked on the condition of my housing standards, I smiled tightly and replied with “I’ll be sure to Swiffer tomorrow.” I did not turn red and scream “This is how I live, mom!”

Which might have been for the best. But what would’ve happened if I did?

Something bad, for sure, in either case. Nonetheless, the remarks would have been truthful ones. And maybe, if I started telling the truth a bit more, allowing myself to act candidly but not, you know, aggressively, then I would not always leave the Outsider with a colossal pit in my stomach. Whether this pit comes from guilt or sorrow or something I’ve been eating for over a decade, I don’t know, but I do know how to get rid of it: letting in a little.

While I cannot relive the Show and Tells of yesteryear, perhaps next Parents’ Weekend, I will do more than throw the Pavlovian dogs a bone; perhaps I will answer their questions with genuine thought and candor. They don’t need to know everything, but a little would never hurt. The nook is in need of some solid redecoration, anyway. Even if it’s on the off chance, my parents might be able to help. ◊

Elizabeth Warren’s Medicare For All Plan is Trying to Trick You

BY SAM SCHECTMAN | LAYOUT EDITOR Folks, the liberals are at it again. Elizabeth Warren released her plan to finance Medicare For All at the beginning of the month. This is probably the single most important policy of this presidential election cycle, and it’s real bad. In fact, it’s so bad, it makes me think that maybe this plan is bad on purpose!

Warren’s M4A plan is meant to be different from Bernie Sanders’s M4A plan, and the main difference is supposed to be that Warren’s plan has no middle class tax increases. It may sound strange that I have a problem with that, but check this out - it’s not actually true. That’s so quirky! I love that for her!

Any M4A plan that actually does what its supposed to, which is to provide universal healthcare with no payment at the point-of-service, is going to be impossible to fund without a small middle class tax increase. I know that to most tax-fearing Americans, that sounds horrible, but that’s why the most effective messaging is to point out that people will pay less overall. If all your copays and premiums are gone because of a tax increase, and you end up saving money, then it’s not actually a tax increase.

So what’s wrong with Warren’s financing plan, and how does it actually tax middle class people? Well, Matt Bruenig of the People’s Policy Project has done a lot of excellent work on this in the days since Warren released her plan, and he says that the problem is twofold. First, the “Employer Medicare Contribution” financing scheme isn’t as progressive as a simple payroll tax, and second, there are a couple loopholes that

companies will definitely take advantage of that will completely ruin the whole payment plan.

The Employer Medicare Contribution financing scheme is basically a per-head tax on employers, which Bruenig says will equal about $9,500 per employee. On the other hand, the regular Medicare Payroll tax is just 8% on all employees. So, in case you’re part of the Elizabeth Warren campaign and don’t realize how taxes work, taxes on ‘employers’ are really just payroll taxes, which employers and employees end up splitting the cost of due to some bullshit

$200,000 a year pay the same amount of tax, because it’s a lot more for the person making $15,000!

As for the loopholes that I mentioned, there are two. There’s no $9,500 per person tax on independent contractors and the companies that hire them, and there’s no $9,500 per person tax on companies that have fewer than 50 employees. How could this possibly go wrong? Well, we’ve already seen a willingness by companies to spin their employees off into independent contractor status. One example is

THIS IS PROBABLY THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT POLICY OF THIS PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION CYCLE, AND IT’S REAL BAD. IN FACT, IT’S SO BAD, IT MAKES ME THINK THAT MAYBE THIS PLAN IS BAD ON PURPOSE! about labor elasticity blah blah blah, I passed Econ 101, okay? The point is, employees are still gonna pay some of this tax, so it’s a middle class tax increase.

Also, importantly, it’s going to be a heavier burden on people who are making less money, rather than the flat payroll tax, which will take an equal share of everybody’s paycheck. It doesn’t really make sense to have someone making $15,000 a year and someone making

Amazon paying their employees $10,000 to quit and become “third-party delivery partners.” Another example is the summer camp that I work at making me an independent contractor last summer. What gives, Fayerweather Street School? If companies know that they just make people ICs and they won’t have to pay the tax, then they’re gonna do it. This will completely destroy the entire funding scheme, because there just won’t be money to pay for it anymore! This isn’t a problem with a regular payroll tax, because it’s just taxing dollars of labor as a percentage, not a sum per employee.

So, uhh, it seems like this isn’t gonna work, so why did Warren propose it in the first place? Well, first, the obvious political thing where she gets to say, “No Middle Class Tax Increases!” even though that’s a lie and could be refuted relatively easily. Luckily mainstream journalism has no interest in actually challenging power and just repeats what campaigns say regardless of truth nowadays, so that does actually seem like a smart political move. But what if also…

Warren doesn’t want this to work?

Here’s another example of some quick googling, again making me a better journalist than anybody who has ever worked for CNN. Warren said, in an interview with The Hill on November 2nd, that a guy named Andy Slavitt helped write her M4A plan.

Hey, that’s nice of him! Slavitt used to work at Goldman Sachs, and then he worked at McKinsey, former home of the young boy from Indiana who is running for President, and then he founded a company called Health Allies, which was acquired by UnitedHealth Group in 2003. UnitedHealth Group, as the name might suggest, is a for-profit healthcare company. It seems a little strange that somebody who worked at a for-profit healthcare company would write a plan that should, if all goes right, get rid of private health insurance. Hey, wait a second, who else founded Health Allies? Oh, it’s Amelia Warren Tyagi, Elizabeth Warren’s daughter!

So, Warren’s healthcare plan won’t work, and also the people who designed it probably didn’t want it to work because they make money off of private healthcare, and also Elizabeth Warren’s daughter is one of those people, but on the other hand it sounds good because there are “no middle class tax increases.” Warren’s plan sure seems like a crock of shit, but like, some people who like Bernie on Twitter are annoying, so if you wanna keep supporting her, go off, I guess. ◊

Point/Counterpoint: Is There a Waterfountain on First Floor Wilder?

BY BEN RICHMAN | OPINIONS EDITOR Is there a water fountain on the first floor of Wilder? It’s the question on everyone’s mind. A question that the deans and administrators I contacted refused to answer. A question that, in academia, is the second most-cited example of the Mandela Effect. I took it upon myself to weigh both possibilities and set aside my own personal biases in order to get to the bottom of this tangled web of mystery.

Unfortunately, I have a lot on my plate right now, meaning I was not very able to go to the first floor of Wilder to check it out for myself. Thus, this titillating mystery has been left wide open. However, I have constructed two arguments that, respectively, confirm and deny the fountain’s existence.

Point: I’m like 95% sure there is.

The first student I talked to was a very hydrated looking fourth year whose name I immediately forgot. When asked about the subject they said “Yeah!

I definitely used it once my freshman year like before splitchers I think.” When asked where on the first floor, they responded (in between gulps of water), “Like by the wall.” I could see that this was a dead end. A few other students had similarly distant memories about a water fountain in Wilder, yet none could place exactly where it was located. I, too, faintly remembered drinking water on the first floor (I could picture myself, as in a dream, slurping lukewarm water in earshot of the Wilder desk). Was my mind playing tricks on me? I could swear there was a water fountain by the first floor bathroom that is

connected to that hallway with the good selfie mirror. I mean most bathrooms have water fountains... why would this one be the exception? If people’s gut reaction is that there is a water fountain, who are we to question that? What makes us, mere mortals, capable of discerning what is objective truth?

Counter Point: No, I don’t think there is one “I have never seen a water fountain on the first floor of Wilder and I have a meeting in Wilder 115 every day,” A blonde editor of the Grape (who preferred to remain anonymous) said to me. Other students corroborated his story, saying things like “There just isn’t a water fountain there. Like it’s not that hard to find out, just go and look.” or “Hey! Stop knocking on the bathroom door! Like I said before, someone’s in here!” Still, it seemed there was more to this case than met the eye. How could I trust my now hundreds of sources when I had a general gut feeling they were wrong?

The investigation raised more questions than it answered. What is the nature of memory? Is there such a thing as objective truth? How do I book a room in Wilder? Maybe I had been looking at the story all wrong. Maybe it’s okay that there is no answer. It is the ambiguity of life that truly reflects its beauty. Though we’ll never know the answer to this plaguing question, I can at least rest easy knowing that I did my job as a journalist and finished my article on time. ◊

In Next Week’s Issue...

BY THE WHOLE BAD HABITS TEAM! Jazz Majors Demonstrate at Coverband Showcase That They Can Also Play Jazz

Ten Politics Majors Talk About How Much They Wish They Were History Majors

Winter Term Fair: For The Fourth Consecutive Year, I Briefly Consider Scuba Diving

Cancelled Student Renewed For Another Semester After Twitter Fan Campaign

Heartwarming: Several People Who Ghosted This Sophomore Liked An Oberlin Crush That Says He Deserves Love

Bon Appetit’s Purchase of Second $30,000 Salad Robot Informed by Petco Manual Saying “If you only buy one parakeet it will get lonely” ◊

November 15th, 2019

Illustration by Molly Sheffield

TIMARA Major Rates Their Favorite Sounds

BY FIONNA FARRELL | STAFF WRITER

the hypercardioid microphone makes it sound damn great.”

2. LaCroix can purgation (LaCroix cans thrown around in a washing machine): “It has to be LaCroix. Bubly or any other canned beverage will not suffice.”

3. Two fist-sized styrofoam balls being rubbed together on the surface of the moon at 3:33AM: “My friend went to the moon last year for Winter Term, and all I could hear about was how their Earthling ears weren’t properly accommodated to absorb unsettling Earth sounds while, like, out on the moon. They were right. Mark your G-Cal for 3:33 a.m. sometime and give this a shot.”

4. A nightmarish ensemble of all the Bop It sounds played together in an echo chamber:

“These sounds on their own each offer up really boundless potential, but together? You can’t even imagine.

Actually, you don’t want to imagine. It’s pretty terrifying.”

5. The glass harmonica being played in a space-time void: “Do you know what a glass harmonica is? Oh, you do? Alright, well I bet you’ve never heard it being played in a space-time void.That’s what I thought.”

6. 1000 mirrors of various sizes being shattered simultaneously by moose antlers: “This was a once-in-a-lifetime experience of unimaginable auditory bliss. Surprisingly, it was more difficult to come across the thousand mirrors than the thousand mooses...meese... you know what I mean. But once we

confined the mirrors and the...large antlered animals to a small yet open space and prompted them accordingly, the result was just truly fantastic.”

7.[Sound redacted]: “I’m sorry, but I’m just not allowed to talk about this one. It’s full of just insane postmodern nuances that the public ear isn’t quite yet adapted for. Its time will come with the new millenia, when the TIMARA children will reign supreme and pre-program all existing sounds known to planet Earth and elsewhere.”

There you have it. Hunt for these sounds and replenish the voracious souls of your neglected plebeian ears. Live by the divine standard: the TIMARA standard. ◊

Illustration by Matteo Debole

Graphic by Leah Yassky

Do TIMARA majors exist because of sound, or does sound exist because of TIMARA majors? Tradition has us quick to assume the former, but, let’s face it, without TIMARA majors, would sound even have the right to exist?

Probably not.

We lured an anonymous, unsuspecting beatsmaker out from the depths of the Con basement and asked them to enlighten us auditory ignoramuses. Here is a list of their alltime favorite sounds: 1. Aggressive beard brushing/ scratching into a hypercardioid microphone: “It all depends on what type of sound you’re going for—beard brushing is a bit more sensual, whereas scratching is as classic a move as they come. Either way, the beard is man’s plaything, and

Co-op Crew Roles and Corresponding Sexual Positions

BY SOPHIA ZANDI | CONTRIBUTING WRITER PIC: Vers top -- you enjoy, and are comfortable in, each role. Where you end up locationally depends on what the situation demands. But you are always the one picking the music and giving orders, so deep down you’re a top.

Hobart: Power bottom or pillow princess-- we all know that this is the position requiring least work.

You may not be in the top position, but you definitely know what you like, and make sure you get it.

Sweeping and Mopping: Bottom. True bottom.

You love being told what to do. You love when the Person In Charge makes eye contact with YOU and says to start filling up the mop bucket.

Pots: You are a true Oberlin top. Just like topping here, while not many want to fill the position, someone’s got to do it. Either you actually enjoy enduring the heavy work and getting your hands all wet, or just know that you’re the best person to get the job done.

Surfaces: Bottom. But not out of sexual preference, out of genuine confusion about how this works. ◊ Illustration by Eva Stern-Gross

Nine Charmingly Odd Texts from Dad that are signed “-- Dad”

BY CORRIE PURCELL I CONTRIBUTING WRITER A couple days after an hour-long heart-to-heart with Mom, Dad sends you a short paragraph text because Mom apparently gave him the gist.

Thursday afternoon, everything kind of came to a breaking point and you spent a large portion of your postsplitchers daze on the phone with Mom in a conversation during which you both cried at least twice. You’re going through a hard time again, but Mom knows your entire emotional history and has always provided incredibly sound advice. Also, you are kind of in-between therapists right now.

The thing is, if you’re going to have a breakdown over the phone, you only want to do it once. And if you’re going to do it to a parent, it should be the one with the emotional capacity to handle it. Mom is -- and always will be -- your point person, but we’d like to take a second to honor those adorable check-in texts that Dad contributes; they may not

theraputize you like Mom does, but they do make you smile.

1. “Hey Kiddo! I hear you’re having a tough week...the flu stinks! Check out the Student Health Center if you need it.

-- Dad” 2. “You ok? Your mom said you’d had a rough week. Me and the dog are missing you a little extra today. Ruby says Woof! -- Dad” 3. “Hope you’re feeling a little better after the rough weekend...buy yourself a smoothie today! This one’s on me [dog emoji, licking lips emoji, two thumbs up, one robot, one heart] --This is Dad btw” 4. “Howdy! -- Dad” 5. “Hey baby! I’m heading over to the library to pick up some good books today, what are you reading this week?

-- Dad”

The Bad Habits Section Presents: “The Bad Habits Comix Corner” ILLUSTRATIONS BY MATTEO DEBOLE | CONTRIBUTING ARTIST

Caption contest! Here’s how to submit: Take this copy of The Grape to your local library. Scan this page, then upload the scanned page into Photoshop. Once in Photoshop, erase the captions from the original comics! Then think of your own silly captions (for example: what if the dog said something like “what the fuck” when he shit out a hammer and sickle? LOL!). Once you’re happy with your captions, print them out and deliver them to The Grape’s OCMR (#69). If our Bad Habits editors liked your submission, they’ll make sure to send you a “poke” on Facebook acknowledging your good work!

Good luck, and happy captioning! ◊

November 15th, 2019

6. “Mom said you might need a little extra love today...that’s no problem for me and Ruby! [picture of my dog licking my dad’s face] — (Dad emoji)” 7. “Hey buddy! Big biochem test today, right? Hope it goes well. Your old pops always had a hard time with that one. Will be thinking of you. -- Your old man” 8. “Makin’ chili for dinner! I’ll make extra and freeze it. Tupperware with your name on it! Mom said the past couple of weeks were a little hard, so maybe I’ll put a little extra in [winky face]. --Dad” 9. “Been thinkin’ of you a lot this week! Just finished Fleabag, which your mom said you recommended. Such a great watch, and the Emmys sure does share your opinion. Call me sometime, Kiddo! --Dad” ◊

Report: The Local Moved the Couch A Little

BY CAMERON AVERY | STAFF WRITER

putting the heavy hitters out front--closer to the register and more visible to customers-makes a lot of sense. But many are saying that in prioritizing financial success, the Local has not just sacrificed the very core of its ideology (coziness and stability), but also jeopardized life at Oberlin as we know it.

“The Local is supposed to be a constant,” Senior Cole Koller screamed during a phone interview. “College is scary, it is unpredictable. I’m just flailing around over here, grasping for any semblance of routine. We need the Local to always stay exactly the same. You can’t just go moving the couch!”

Damon Pillbug, Koller’s roommate, adamantly agreed.

“Yeah,” he shouted into the

receiver, spittle audibly flying on the other end of the line.

“It’s like, what’s next? Is Mudd gonna put the womb chairs on the first floor? My ability to feel grounded in time and space is already hanging on by a thread.”

Since the changes Some students are boycotting the Local. Some are boycotting couches. There has been talk of late night secret coffee bacchanals. On Tuesday morning, someone left a toy couch in Local Manager Dash Cohplum’s car, but it is unclear whether this was a political statement. It’s all smoke and mirrors; the only thing we can know for sure is that the couch is in the front room now. ◊

Drawing by Ila Astin

Students felt a rush of disorientation as they stepped into Oberlin’s nearest -- and thus, best -- coffee shop the Monday after break. Something was a little off: there was a couch in the front room. Was it a new couch? No, it was just the couch from the back room, but in the front room now. That’s right--the Local has moved the couch, and public opinion is wildly mixed.

“I think it’s cool,” Jesse Pinkman, sophomore violist, weighed in. “Like, the couch is the best spot so it should be more prominently featured.”

It is true that the couch is widely considered the “VIP” zone, usually occupied exclusively by Local regulars.

So from a business standpoint,

Oberlin Barter and Trade Flirting

BY CORRIE PURCELL | CONTRIBUTING WRITER I’m no stranger to the annoying ways Oberlin Barter and Trade is misused, having dabbled in almost all of them myself. Though I would never ask you to buy something on the page, I have definitely failed to follow through on several “bag of lavender in exchange for a required text for class” trades.

I’m not proud, but I will admit to requesting a ride or two to Johnny’s, asking for absurdly easy-to-obtain items like paper clips, and, in the case of a particularly insane week my first year, using the page in lieu of a drug dealer. I’ve bartered out the last pill in my birth control pack, half a bottle of saline solution, a lone sock, and shoes with heels torn off. A couple of times, I’ve even gone to the other extreme and asked for inappropriately large things, just to sort of see what would happen; in my first year I also attempted to climb my way into Firelands by asking if anyone wanted to barter and trade housing slots.

These are all things I would never post now--I’ve learned a lot from subtwitter. However, there is one misuse of the page that still I tolerate, nay, encourage: Oberlin Barter and Trade flirting. Though perhaps a difficult skill to initially pick up, this tactic lends itself to casual, practical, and infinitely sexy flirting with the added bonus of mutually-assured plausible deniability. For those of you who have never dipped your toes in the world of Oberlin Barter and Trade

flirting (hereafter OBTF) let me provide you with the basics.

First, pick your product. The ideal OBTF product is one that you know your OBTF partner owns. It is specific enough that they will feel called to respond, but common enough that you can still claim that sweet sweet plausible deniability (SSPD).

DO: “Does anyone have a tent I could borrow for the weekend?”

This request is also ideal for demonstrating both your charming, outdoorsy disposition and your shared interest in camping. Okay, now let’s imagine your potential OBTF partner is a soprano saxophonist.

DON’T: “Anyone have candles?” or “Does anyone have a soprano saxophone I could borrow?”

These requests are both dangerous, but for opposing reasons. The first request is too broad. A large portion of the Oberlin campus has a candle to offer, and you don’t want to attract just anyone with your OBTF request; if you follow the “Too Common” route with your request, you may find yourself deleting replies off of your post so that your OBTF partner thinks no one has replied to you. This has the negative consequence of being decidedly Not Chill and makes it seem as though no one, not a single person, likes you

enough to respond to your very easilyfulfilled request.

The second request, however, swings too far in the opposite direction by being far too specific. Though your soprano saxophonist OBTF partner does definitely own a soprano saxophone, this seems like a cry to a potentially defining characteristic of your OBTF partner, and runs the risk of leaving them with undesired thoughts such as “Just text me, coward”.

The ideal product is one you’ve seen in their room, or have discussed with them in person, but is not a defining characteristic of either of your personalities. It should also be an object you actually need. The perfect object is one that allows you to be relaxed and unconcerned with this request. There should be no downside to receiving the object, be it from your ideal OBTF partner or not. The best part of OBTF flirting is the practicality of the practice: the best possible scenario is one where your OBTF partner gives you the object, however, the worst possible scenario is one where you still get the object you need. The perfect object may be difficult to know as you begin practicing your OBTF skills, but I guarantee that with practice you will be able to know exactly the object to elicit a response from the perfect person.

Now, sit back and wait. The best part about OBTF is that you need this object, so there’s no need to stress about your request! Your plausible deniability

should be able to extend to you as well; you have no reason to be concerned, this is a very practical, truly necessary, and largely reasonable barter.

If and when the exchange occurs, feel free to invite them over to your place, perhaps inviting them in for a cup of tea, or even coffee. Remember: you should thank them for their kindness, perhaps offering to buy them coffee or if you are feeling frisky, dinner. Trust your gut. You’re prepared for this, after all, you are a master of the technique and of your own OBTF future. Buck up buddy!

It’s go time. ◊

First Year Feature: Zach R.

We here at the Grape wanted to give a special shout-out to Zach R. Did you really think we wouldn’t notice all the awesome work you’ve been doing this year? Really great stuff.

Just totally incredible. Keep it up, Zach!

Zach is a really great friend and a pleasure to have in class, probably—we don’t really know. None of us have ever met him, so we’re just guessing.

One thing’s certain, though: Zach R. is a first-year at Oberlin and he’s the recipient of this week’s special shout out. Big things are in store for you, Zach! ◊