Bard Summer 2017

Editors-in-Chief: Anna Boonyanit and Sara Varadharajulu Layout and Artistic Director: Ashley Zhang Layout and Artistic Editor: Sylvia Chen Writing Editors: Sunia Sadeghi and Ashley Zhang Website Manager: Nikhar Arora Staff Writers: Natalie Jarrett, Mina Mahmood, Lauren Chan, Kelly Campa, and Sabrina Fleming Teacher Advisor: Tripp Robbins Cover Design: Ashley Zhang Table of Contents Design: Ashley Zhang

Table of Contents Letter from the Editor

sara varadharajulu

Black Women and Body Image

natalie jarrett

Muslim and Hot The Body in Theory Appearances in the Acting Industry

mina mahmood sara varadharajulu anna boonyanit

Body Image Around the World

lauren chan

Thin-Shaming

kelly campa

Brad Ward on Transgender Body Image Observations on Clothes at Menlo Short Takes: Approaching Sexual Assault

ashley zhang sabrina fleming lauren chan

From The Editors Dear Readers, We talk about bodies a lot.

And lucky for you, we’re going to talk about them some more.

Our corporeal selves, to some regard, dictate our lives.

They impact who we are friends with, what jobs we get, what sports we play, what size sweatshirt we order, hell, I could go on forever. And the craziest part, they are even a determining factor in who we judge ourselves and others to be.

Needless to say, bodies matter, and so it’s wonderful that body image is discussed throughout our lives whether that be in the classroom or on the quad. However, most of us only talk about a few aspects of body image: we shame the modeling industry, we warn people on the detrimental effects of unhealthy diet and exercise, and we tell everyone to love their bodies.

And while these things are important, there are far more matters pertaining to our bodies that we leave untouched.

Rarely do we look at bodies from a non-Western

perspective. Rarely do we acknowledge that a model’s body is in fact a viable body. Rarely do we consider that beauty is derivative. These are just a few examples from the plethora of body-related topics we often ignore.

With this issue, we have tried our best to give you new background information and differing perspectives to consider as you form your own opinion on bodies. Ultimately, we hope that we broaden what the words “body image” mean to you.

Love, Sara

Black Women Body Image

&

in a Historical

&

Culutural Context

Article by Natalie Jarrett Layout by Ashley Zhang

I never felt the need for my body to conform to Eurocentric standards, even though in my childhood I was primarily exposed to white media. In fact, my expectations for my body were the polar opposite of the tall thin figures white girls seemed to desire. I wanted large breasts, a pinched in waist, wide hips and a large behind, more in line with body expectations in the black community. I think this is because the I saw in real life who were to me the most attractive and desirable fit this mold. My brother and his friends also had an influence on me with their sometimes graphic descriptions of girls they thought were attractive.

“A male peer explained to me that black girls were sluttier and more sexual”

I had always been fairly comfortable with my body until the 6th grade when I hit puberty and endured the taunting of my peers. I was never outright teased for my body; rather I received unwanted sexual attention from male classmates. My backside became the subject of cruel games; the participants would jeer every time I bent over or would dare each other to grope me. Being the proud girl I was, I refused to feel like a victim and instead played the incidents off, or on occasion lashed out in violent ways. A male peer explained to me that black girls were sluttier and more sexual, therefore justifying the boys’ behavior towards me. His idea may seem absurd, but it is unfortunately nothing new considering the history of treatment black women have received for their bodies.

Nearly two hundred years ago, Saartjie (Sarah in English) Baartman, a South African Khoikhoi woman traveled with two Englishmen to perform in shows in England. They paraded her in freak shows and presented her as a scientific curiosity for her unusual characteristics; they nicknamed her the Hottentot Venus, the title Hottentot being a derogatory term to describe Khoikhoian cattle farmers. Her large buttocks and elongated labia both amused audiences and served as proof of blacks’ inferiority according to social Darwinists. She eventually died due to complications with alcoholism and possible STDs. Her post mortem body was dissected and put on display until her remains were finally delivered back to South Africa in 2002. Baartman’s story serves as an example of the plight black women have faced under European exploitation.

19th century depictions of Saartjie Baartman

In America, slave owners justified the sexual abuse and rape of black female slaves by creating the stereotype that they were oversexed beings who needed to be tamed.

Ironically, black women have been either the subject of extreme disgust or sexual desire. The contradiction of these two very different depictions have made it difficult for black women to feel comfortable in their bodies without receiving scrutiny from either side.

Even now, since the dawn of hip hop culture, the same dichotomy still exists.

Within the framework of hip hop, black women are portrayed as Jezebels. They are often praised for their voluptuous figures, yet are stereotyped as moneygrabbing whores. Some in the industry have even claimed that black women are being replaced by white and Latina women who are beginning to don curvier figures themselves. Rapper Trick Daddy explains in a neurotic Instagram post, “These Spanish, these white hoes, they just started getting finer than a muthafucka… Y’all black hoes better tighten up. I’m telling you, tighten up.

Y’all doing all that extra shit for nothing. You not achieving nothing, bitch.”

“You not achieving nothing, bitch.”

Despite all the negativity surrounding the black female body, black women still tend to be more comfortable with their bodies than non-black women, especially white women. Because mass media uses a Eurocentric model for beauty, black women tend to not hold themselves to mainstream standards and instead compare themselves to each other. Attractiveness in the black community is not necessarily defined by body shape, but in how one presents themselves; the most beautiful women are the ones who are exquisitely dressed and groomed.

Though much of the history and culture exists on a national and even global scale, unique experiences can be found from black women within the Menlo school community.

Brianna Boyd “My mother always made sure I knew that black is beautiful and told me I should be proud and comfortable in my own skin.”

Junior Brianna Boyd describes her upbringing as one that instilled self love in her from very early on. “My mother always made sure I knew that black is beautiful and told me I should be proud and comfortable in my own skin.” Even with her positive body image, she still expresses frustration with the media: “A lot of the time, black women are put down in the media for their traits, but if a white woman has the same traits like a big butt, tan skin, big lips, and big curly hair, then she’s praised.” She feels that black women have to work extra hard to be perceived as equal to white women.

Carmen Borbon

World Religions teacher Carmen Borbon grew up in the Dominican Republic and New York. She credits her body image to influencers like her family and peers. “My mom was always obsessing over her weight and my weight, she would call us fat sometimes and make us go run around.

Then when I got to middle school and high school I went to majority white schools and all the girls were stick thin…

So I’d say I grew up with pretty poor body image.” She goes on to explain the role she believes media played in her body image growing up. “I grew up watching video music box because that was the only place you could see rap music videos, and all the black girls on there had these big ol’ booties and big breasts.” However, Borbon has noted a change in the way black women are portrayed, from being reduced to their bodies to being represented as normal beings. “But now there are some other shows like HBO’s Insecure with Issa Ray… She’s just a normal person she doesn’t have like a big butt…

So I feel like in the black-created shows there has been progress… I feel like now we are presented as just normal people who are just living our lives like everybody else.”

Being a young woman is hard enough in America, especially when one is trying to develop a positive relationship with one’s body. Being a young black woman brings up another whole dimension of issues that have been largely caused by years of hypersexualization and dehumanization.

Nevertheless, Black women have shown resilience in the face of challenge and have created a unique definition of beauty. For me, a mixture of positive influences and maturity have made it possible to feel comfortable with myself and my characteristically black body.

Muslim and Hot

Article by Mina Mahmood Layout by Niky Arora

Ever sported three jackets when it’s chilly? Loose-fitting pants after a hearty

meal? Tights on a hot day because you haven’t shaved, mayhaps? A birthday hat, no doubt! Now reader, tell me honestly. Have you ever glimpsed a member of the female specimen wearing a scarf on her head and felt a trace of pity, discomfort, or fear? If so, let’s talk. The reason you really shouldn’t have is the same reason most others did not conclude you to be a polar bear, trash bag, prude, or traffic cone. See, the associations linked with particular garments are more often than not nonsensical and narrow. Specifically, the hijab has transformed into a symbol for an assortment of stereotypes that do not even begin to capture the experience of the Muslim female. As Islam becomes entangled in issues surrounding national security and immigration, these stereotypes mutilate the religion’s image more and more. Let’s dispel!

The hijab is a headscarf or veil worn by Muslim women to fulfill God’s commandment of modesty. Other forms of hijab seen in the media are the niqab, a face covering that covers the mouth and nose, and the burqa, a complete face covering with a mesh screen through which the woman can see. Ninja status: unlocked. The decision to wear hijab is meant to be a personal one made upon puberty, and it is based upon how the individual woman would like to express her devotion to God. Not unlike how a person might choose to cut hair to express style or sport a band tee to express musical taste, mind you. Some Muslim women interpret modesty to pertain to behavior and kind, generous treatment of others and may prefer to demonstrate modesty through conduct instead of turning to a veil.

The hijab is not an instrument of female oppression and sexism. At a time when women were prized for little more than giving pleasure and raising children, the hijab communicated that the female is more than her body. Believe it or not, the hijab was a progressive garment upon its emergence. Allah commanded, “O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks close ‘round them (when they go abroad). That will be better, so that they may be recognised and not annoyed.” (Quran 33:59). The hijab is also most certainly not simply an emblem for a religion of intimidation and violence. To the individual who muttered “Terrorists…” to my sister and cousin as we walked through the Great Mall: although we curiously discerned “Carrots…” at first, the reduction of their headscarves to a false, distorted profile of Islam disgusted and disheartened us.

On the bright side, recent developments like the animated Pakistani TV show Burka Avenger combat these stereotypes. A superheroine dons a burka to conceal her identity, battling corruption and greed and advocating for women’s education in the town of Halwapur. The burka empowers a female to establish peace and justice? What a concept! And Ibtihaj Muhammad fencing in the Olympics wearing a hijab was nothing short of inspirational and absolutely badass.

I’m no superheroine, but it has been no small feat being one of the only practicing Muslim females at Menlo.

When temperatures rise to eighty degrees and every single female wears cute shorts or dresses that display her sexy legs, I remain ‘modest’ in thick jeans or dark tights. I’d be lying if I claimed that never owning shorts, sitting fully clothed by the edge of the pool, and staying silent during semiformal dress discussions never made me feel excluded or self-conscious. It turns out mentally (sometimes physically) slapping myself to shake unease is not the best way to inspire self-confidence. What has given me comfort and pride in my appearance is the combination of supportive and un-

derstanding groups of friends and finding a healthy balance between fashion and religion.

I used to be bewildered by the lack of specific guidelines. Modest dress varies with the thickness, looseness, and parts of the body covered by the articles of clothing. Where was the section of the Quran that listed which of the 21st century styles are appropriate for me to wear, dammit?! Ambiguity combined with the sensation of scrutiny from peers and family members inspired some truly dreadful fashion choices. Thankfully, I learned to never again wear T-shirts underneath crop tops, and I developed my own personalized set of limitations.

Hybrids of current trends and conservative styles filled my wardrobe. Maxi skirts and printed pants are my saviors during hot weather, and any dress can be rocked with a pair of semi-sheer tights. Although some choices seemed illogical and inconsistent (curve-accentuating tops, but no shorts?), I realized that the scrutiny came from only an irritating internal voice that reflected my doubts about venturing into a new terrain and creating my own version of things. Luckily, I’ve since silenced it.

“I am Muslim, I am different, and I have chosen to embrace it.”

I am Muslim, I am different, and I have chosen to embrace it. I like to think that I’ve struck a balance between what my faith asks of me and how I choose to display my body. The belief that dress--or any external display for that matter--dictates a person’s faith, spirituality, personality, or morals is a foolish one. Comfort is key. Religion is beautiful to me because I can choose my own adventure: I am blessed because the extent to which I follow Islam is my choice. Others are less lucky, and I can only hope that one day religion is universally recognized to be a personal journey. For now, when I’m faced with exclamations of “Mina, aren’t you hot in that?!” I proudly respond “yes, yes I am.” .

the body in theory Written by Sara Varadharajulu

Design by Sylvia Chen

Before the 1800’s, fatness was perceived as a sign of beauty. That correlation, so unfathomable to us today, is bluntly obvious in art of the past. Take the Birth of Venus by Botticelli or The Death of Dido by Andrea. In fact, the saying “plump as a partridge” was supposed to be a complement of the highest form.

Diet culture began in the 1840’s when Sylvester Graham, a Presbyterian minister, began to advocate a “plain, abstinent” diet for women. He believed that spices, sweets, and other indulgences were the roots of bad health and most importantly, immorality.

He preached a diet consisting mainly of bread composed of graham flour (which eventually led to the making of the modern day graham cracker) and vegetables. It is ironic that something originally invented to address sexual excess has now evolved into a fixation over health.

Around the 1860’s, William Banting created the protein-heavy Banting diet (a predecessor to the Atkins diet). Banting equated fatness with a physical disability---soon this very popular diet spread across the nation and Banting’s teachings became gospel. America had launched its crusade against the fat. From 1890 to 1920, America’s perception of beauty dramatically changed---no longer was plumpness a mark of health. In addition to the evolving diet culture, several fashion changes allow the cult of thinness to grow.

Corsets, a very popular undergarment, were becoming out of fashion---the purpose of the corset was not to hide fat but to rearrange it into a fashionable direction whether that be on the hips, butt, etc. With their exodus, women were left dissatisfied with their natural body shapes. Also, for the first time, women were able to identify what dress size they were.

Originally, most women’s clothes were self-sewed or made by a seamstress--with the industrial revolution, women were aware of whether they were buying a small or a medium or a size 2. It was now alarmingly simple to compare body sizes.

In addition, with the urbanization of America, more and more people had white-collar jobs. This meant less on the job exercise and more food choices; many Americans were gaining weight, and the topic was thrust into the national spotlight. At the same time, food science was developing. We now knew what a calorie was, we knew how to balance fats, vitamins, and proteins--we could now “quantify health.” And quantifying health was made even simpler with the development of the scale to monitor weight.

By the 1920’s “diet and calorie counting were a part of daily life”--women either were dieting or dealing with the guilt that arose when they couldn’t maintain diets. Since then, diet culture has been imprinted deep into America’s fabric.

Appearances Acting Industry in the

Article by Anna Boonyanit Layout by Ashley Zhang

“In Hollywood, I’m obese,” stated Jennifer Lawrence. Both seniors Kate Lucas and Maya Donato, who frequently play main roles in Menlo School plays and intend to pursue acting in college, said they have both been frequently told to lose some weight. Yet any rational person would consider them to be healthy weights.

Lucas comments, “In preparing for college auditions, I met with an audition coach. The first thing she said to me after the pleasantries was, ‘good, you’re thin.’ I was told to maintain a slim shape for auditions and to ‘show off’ a slim figure, because colleges are more likely to accept slim actors on average. Slim actors are more ‘marketable’ and more likely to be cast in the future, so emphasizing if you have a slim figure is important.”

Donato believes, “People are attracted to films in which characters are beautiful and skinny.”

However, appearances are not always playing as big of a role as they used to. Senior Anika Padwekar comments, “At least in musical theater, these norms are kind of shifting with new shows like Hamilton, as there seems to be a movement of making body image matter less.” There are also increasingly more relatable TV shows and movies. For instance, in The Office, the characters are not necessarily conventionally attractive and have diverse body types, making the show more relatable to the common person. Such shows are still somewhat anomalies though.

In addition to relative lack of body diversity in Hollywood, there seems to be a great disparity of races. Padwekar comments, “I don’t know a single Indian on Broadway. Traditional musicals tend to focus on white people and their stories, but it is slowly diversifying. At least in the high school or amateur level, race hasn’t held me back. For example, I, an Indian, played Edwin Drood, a white character.”

Interestingly, being non-white can be an advantage in theatre college admissions. Donato’s acting coach once told her, “You are not going to get into Juilliard because you’re not black but just another white girl.”

Even if there is an advantage of being non-white in getting into school, there may still be some discrimination in the roles.

Padwekar recounts, “My friend at Northwestern is the only Indian in the theater program. And even at a progressive school, race would sometimes hold him back. However, there are some productions that would be willing to cast him in white roles, but that is not the norm.”

It’s not only that minorities are often not cast in white roles. Whites are cast in minority roles. Blonde Emma Stone was cast as a quarter-Chinese, quarter-Native Hawaiian fighter pilot in Aloha.

White actress Mackenzie Davis was cast as Korean American NASA employee Mindy Park in the novel The Martian.

Following last year’s Oscars, social media platforms bombarded posts with #OscarsSoWhite. This year, though, at least ten black actors and filmmakers were nominated. However, April Reign, the creator of the viral hashtag commented, “We have films that reflect the black experience, but there weren’t any films that reflect the Latina experience. We have cultural appropriation of the Asian-American and Pacific Islander community.

I’m still waiting on [a] romantic comedy from the LGBTQ community. There’s still a lot of work to be done.”

Clearly, the film industry is not fully diversified in both body shape and race. But, some progress has been made. Donato remarks, “I hope that movies strive to portray characters that are more diverse and similar to everyday life situations, but I don’t know if that shift is going to happen.”

thin-shaming Article by Kelly Campa Layout by Ashley Zhang

Disclaimer: I am a hypocrite when it comes to thin-shaming.

As someone who proudly and openly conforms to the body positivity movement, who fully believes that every body is beautiful, and who for many years considered my own body to be the antagonist of my life, it has taken me nearly fifteen years to empathize with those who face thin-shaming. I always recognized the struggle of skinny-shaming as genuine, but I never truly understood it. I think it had something to do with the fact that becoming skinny was my main goal for so long that I became envious and resentful of all thin people; when skinny friends made comments about disliking their bodies, my train of thought was immediately filled with thoughts such as “I would give anything to look like you,” and “How dare you not appreciate the body you have,” etc.

I’m not at all proud of this.

However, I think my former and extremely misguided views can help to explain why thinshaming exists -- in a world that is terrified of being fat, people forget that even being thin can’t protect us from society’s relentless judgment of our bodies.

Imagine being told that you’re not beautiful because you don’t look like body type x, or being made fun of because you look awkward or different.

Sound familiar?

like “real women have curves” and “bones are for dogs, meat is for men” were designed to make larger women feel better about themselves (always a noble cause), however, they completely alienate another body type and are extremely hurtful for no reason. This is exhibited in many spheres of the media; Ms. Trainor, while everyone should support someone who does, not everyone has a bass to be all about. The perception that small boobs aren’t sexy and those anacondas don’t want none unless you got buns, hon, is harmful to the many women who don’t have “curves in the right places.” What does that even mean, anyway?

In most cases, skinny women are compelled to be ashamed about their bodies merely because of body positivity messages gone wrong; phrases

Besides, the core of thinshaming is found under a stone that society doesn’t like to turn over too often: the topic of mental illness and

Although I’ve never experienced it, skinny-shaming sucks.

eating disorders. The aversion to skinniness behind thin-shaming originates in the murky fear of anorexia or bulimia. Throwing these medical terms around as adjectives to describe someone who is merely skinny is offensive to those who actually do struggle with an eating disorder. Says writer Hannah Meyer,

“At a time when we should be urgently working to de-stigmatise sufferers of eating disorders, skinny-shaming has become nothing less than the deliberate mockery of mental illness.”

Skinny-shaming is as unacceptable as fat-shaming is; they are both appalling and should never happen. But then there’s the other side of the coin. It’s important to acknowledge that many writers and body activists strongly emphasize that fatshaming and skinny-shaming are not the same and cannot be compared on the same playing field; skinny-shaming is not the reverse racism of the

body positivity movement.

Enter “thin privilege:” the natural advantage

possessed by skinny people who live in a society that traditionally celebrates

their body. “Acknowledging that

you have privilege is not

saying that your life hasn’t been difficult,” says Melissa Fabello, an acclaimed body activist. “It’s simply acknowledging which obstacles you have not faced.” While thin people have to deal with individual criticisms, fat people have to deal with oppression from a society that fundamentally denounces their body. This doesn’t invalidate the pain of skinny-shaming but puts it into perspective. “It’s important to understand that even if individuals shame you, respect (and even admiration!) for you is still woven into the fabric of our society,” asserts Fabello.

Whatever your body type or opinion on “thin privilege,” just remember at the end of the day that neither thin-shaming nor fatshaming nor any other type of shaming is acceptable within the body positivity movement. And recognize, like I did, that you can’t resent or invalidate someone’s insecurities just because they have a body type that’s conventionally recognized to be attractive. It took me years, right up until I began to accept and love my own body, to understand this. “That is why body positivity isn’t just about accepting your own body. It’s about actively acknowledging others’ — particularly those who don’t benefit from your own privilege.

Absolutely, it begins with self-acceptance,” confesses writer Kelsey Miller.

Just don’t wait as long as I did to get there.

College Counselor

Brad Ward

on

Transgender Body Image

Interview conducted March 7th, 2017

by Ashley Zhang

In February 2017, Brad Ward, Menlo College Counselor of ten years, came out as transgender to the Menlo community. It was my honor to interview her about body image.

chicken or something walking around, and now I don’t even think about it. A long time ago, I was very selfconscious of my hair being almost down to my shoulders, and now that would be totally short for my hair. And now I Ashley: How do you think look at myself in the mirror and your own body image and I can actually feel like this is who insecurities have changed over I am, and Who I’m meant to be the years? all my life, whereas for a lot of Brad: Fifteen or twelve years my life I would look in the mirror ago when I first started to shave and think, “That’s not really me.” my legs, I felt like a bald For a time I also thought, “I’m

self-confidence, and an increasingly poor self-image.”

What do you think caused this?

B: The fact that I wasn’t accepted. I didn’t know what I was. I thought I was gay, and yet I wasn’t attracted to boys or A: In your blogs, you also men. I was being targeted for talked about being bullied in being gay, and it was like my school. Why do you think you self-identity was under attack, were a target? even though I didn’t know B: Yeah, that was a big thing. what it was, and other people Thirty, thirty-five years ago, even thought they did. I almost being gay or lesbian was not an felt like I couldn’t just be in acceptable thing. Mostly older the world. Not only that, but I boys targeted me because I couldn’t speak up for myself or was a very kind of vulnerable, defend myself, and it was just a feminine-acting boy. I wasn’t continual smacking down. Even like one of the tough kids; I was after the bullying stopped, I felt never one to fight back, either like I just didn’t really belong physically or stand up for myself in the world, that there was no verbally, so it just made me one else like me, until I finally one of the easy targets. They found out what transgender assumed I was gay, and that people were by the book She’s was just a thing to go after. And Not There. That was the book unfortunately, that continued that changed my life. And into high school and college, finally I thought, “There’s one and then finally I graduated other person out there in the from college, and it went away world who’s maybe a little like for the most part. me. I’m not alone anymore.”

And then very rapidly––this A: You said you had “growing came at the same time the amounts of low self-esteem, internet was finally becoming actually not a good-looking person... People are going to laugh at me,” and that was just not a good thing for selfconfidence. But now I’m like, “This is where I want to be.”

a thing––I started to read, and research, and discover that I wasn’t alone, and there were a lot of other people like me. It was validating, and yet I wasn’t being fully accepted by some of those who mattered the most.

I’m just looking for complete acceptance by those who matter.

A: How did your perceptions of your own body change once you started to identify as a woman?

B: All of a sudden, within recent weeks, I could just be out there and say, "I’m me." The odd thing is, now identifying as a transgender woman, I’m now comparing myself a little bit more with women in general, and I’m like, “Ooh, I’m kinda flat chested actually! Wow, my nose is pretty big, and I have stubble on my face and everything.” At the same time, women come in all different shapes and sizes. Just last week

for Sources of Strength in Palo Alto, a whole big group of teachers and students watched a movie called Embrace about all different body types of women, and there was a woman who has a beard, and she owns it. Now I look at myself and I think, “Maybe I don’t represent what is a traditional woman, and especially what’s promoted by the media and magazines as a beautiful woman, but I’m me, and I’m a transgender woman, and that’s who I am and I’m happy with that.”

A: Do you think transgender people experience different body image perspectives or insecurities than cisgendered people?

B: One of the things I said in my blog is that I only speak for myself. But I would suspect, based on a few people I know personally and what I’ve read,

that there are a lot of body image issues, because a major part of being transgender for many people is the outward expression of who you are.

That’s not just clothing, but also your physical body. So for people going the other way, from female to male, they may look at themselves and say, “I don’t have enough facial hair,” or, “My nose is too small,” or, “I’m too short,” and they want to be that big, muscular, powerful, man. I think that a lot of transgender people go through the same things for clothing and their physical body.

and a car window came down, and the driver said something like, “You shouldn’t have done that.” I didn’t even know who this person was, and I said, “Do what?” and he said, “I thought you were a woman,” and I said, “Um, I’m just running.” He kept pacing me in his car, and it was the freakiest thing, and then he drove off very quickly, and my heart was racing. That was totally unexpected, and all of a sudden I felt this great insecurity.

One other time was when I was in Menlo Park, another very supposedly safe town, and being catcalled by a car A: You mentioned in your blogs making a U-turn and following that you’ve been catcalled and me for a little bit, with a couple sexually harassed by strangers. of guys leaning out the open Would you like to tell me about car windows. I literally hopped a specific instance? over a short fence into the front B: One of the most important yard of, I have no idea who the things to me about this whole person was, and I ready to go process is being open. The up to the front door, and they incident was when I was drove off very quickly. I just running, probably 5 or 6 years kind of stood there, huffing and ago, in Atherton of all places, puffing, like “What is going on one of the safest places you here?” could possibly run! I was

One of the things that running on Atherton Avenue, makes me feel comfortable

in the Menlo Park/Atherton area is that there are a lot of security cameras for homes, and it’s kind of sad, but I feel like if anything ever happens to me, there’s a good chance that a security camera would have caught some footage. And I also know so many people who live in this area, where I can go pretty quickly, which is kind of a sad thing, but...

A: You mentioned that you dislike your voice and facial hair. Can you elaborate?

How do you deal with these insecurities?

B: My voice was never really something I thought about until I started identifying as gender non-conforming and eventually transgender, and I thought, “I have a voice, but it doesn’t sound like what I think I should sound like.” When I sing in the car and at home, I wish that I sounded like the songs sung by women, and I don’t.

The only way I can “sound like

them” is when I have earbuds in, or when I’m in my car with the music played really loudly so I can’t actually hear my voice.

I guess I do wish my voice had a higher-pitch tone to it. As I've gone down the transgender road, my voice has become one of the more uncomfortable things for me, because I’m talking and I’m not sounding like I want to. That still causes me a lot of hesitation. I feel like a lot of times I don’t want to talk because I don’t want to hear my own voice, and that’s a sad thing, which is one reason I like writing so much, because there’s no audible voice.

Oh, and facial hair! I’ve been shaving all my life, and that’s just something that men and boys do. I started shaving my legs as a test about a dozen years ago, and now every single morning I’m like, “Ugh, this facial hair has come back!” It’s strange because it’s something I never really thought about, and now it’s something that annoys me. Every morning I have to shave it off again, and through the day I know that I’m getting

a five o’clock shadow and becoming less of a traditional female. If I did have to change something about myself, it would be electrolysis to remove the hairs follicles from my face.

And that is, from what I’ve heard, an extremely painful process.

it four times myself. It’s just fascinating when you’ve never had long hair to watch what happens with backpack straps and zippers and getting caught behind you in chairs, but it also presents so many more options. My hair is one way that I express myself, and I don’t see why braiding hair should be A: Your hair is a part of your considered adolescent instead body that you can easily of sophisticated. And I’ve change and control. Would you never thought about coloring like to tell more about your my hair, but the more I learn own hair? how many women color their B: I grew up in the seventies hair, I don’t even know what a and eighties when guys had woman’s natural hair color is longer hair and that was totally anymore! I’ve never considered okay. I got it cut shortest at coloring my hair, but will that be the end of college; I basically something I’ll consider in the had a military buzz cut. I had future? I don’t know. And also pretty short hair all throughout one other important thing: a lot my twenties, into my thirties. of men lose their hair. I have to I didn’t identify as genderadmit I’m pretty blessed that I nonconforming or trans until still have a full head of hair. A probably my late thirties. Then couple of transgender people I started growing my hair a I know, one of their little bit again, especially for greatest distressors is grad school, because I was in a that they’re balding, so gender studies program and I they can’t have longer was just curious what that was hair. I don’t like. Now it’s the longest it’s know what to ever been, but I’ve trimmed do about that.

A: Are you interested in starting to wear makeup?

B: Makeup seems bizarre to me, I guess. I associate makeup in my life with theater and drama, not something that I personally want to do. It seems very complicated. The more I go from male to female, the more impressed I am with girls and women and all of the skills they have in terms of their overall presentation, because there are so many more details to it than boys and men have. Makeup for me is a totally foreign world.

It’s difficult enough for me just to put a top and a bottom together for dressing, let alone makeup? You wouldn’t want to see me walk out of the house. It requires so much time to figure out what to do with makeup, and how to put it together, and how to buy it in the first place. I feel like more of a tomboy who wants to be totally natural, the no makeup look. So I don’t think I want to go that way.

A: You've said that you don’t forsee any surgery or

hormones in your future. Why not?

B: One of the common misperceptions about trans people is that we’re all going to have gender-confirmation surgery. Would I want to change the biological parts of me, my genitalia? At this point, no, I don’t see that happening, because I’m more comfortable with the way I appear than I ever have been, and to me that would be too far. For hormones, what that would actually change is my voice, for sure. I would probably be able to get the voice that I think I’m hoping for, and it would certainly do away with the facial hair, and yet it also changes what’s inside of you in terms of emotions, from everything I’ve read. Being almost fifty years old and knowing my emotions, I don’t know if I want to go on hormones that might completely change how I feel every day and how I interact with people. I’m growing so much more comfortable now with who I am, I don’t know if I would even need hormones.

A: What advice would you give to anybody for maintaining a healthy body image?

B: Be happy with who you are and own yourself. Change the things that you can, which certainly is clothing, you can change your hair, you can do makeup if you want, or not. Talk to a lot of other people too, and get their tips. One of the best things that has happened to me is that my colleagues give me tips about clothes and fashions and say in the nicest possible way, “You know, the next time you wear that, try this instead with it.” This is a whole new world for me. I can rip all the pages out of fashion magazines and look at all the websites that I want to, but how I put it together for me might not be pulled off quite as well. So I need input from other people, which is why I say to seek out the advice of other people. But be happy with who you are, because it’s the only body you’ll ever have. And you can change some things about yourself to a point. I don’t know if I have a perfect answer for that question

yet, because I feel like I’m being hypocritical telling people to be happy with who they are, and yet I’m changing my own body. I haven’t quite found the answer to that question yet.

That’s one that still eludes me.

It’s like the movie Embrace. It was all about body image for women, and the things that girls and women do to their bodies in terms of sometimes starving themselves or plastic surgery.

You want to tell them to just be happy with your body, and yet I’m the worst person, in some ways, to say that, because I feel like I would want to change some things about my body.

It’s a complicated question, and I don’t have a good answer for that one yet. I want to tell people, “Just be happy with your body and change what you can to a point.”

Want More?

Check out

yosemitebrad.wordpress.com

s n

o i t a

v r e s b n O o

Clothes

at

Menlo

Article Written by Sabrina Fleming Layout by Ashley Zhang

Sweats, yoga pants, shorts, sweats, plaid pajama bottoms, yoga pants, a skirt, yoga pants, etc. This is what I see every day on girls at my school from 7:45am-3:30pm: an overall lack of ingenuity and individuality. Most girls at my school work hard on their clothes and tend to join herds.

They usually stick to a workout or preppy herd, or do what they can to avoid either herd.

A workout girl lives for wearing yoga pants and t-shirts every day of the week. She is the kind of girl who says she looks “awful” and just “threw on what she could find,” but knows she looks flawless with that extra bit of mascara and carefully crafted ponytail. She’s that person who giggles a little too loudly and touches your arm one time too many leaning over a little too far as she does so. She participates every five seconds but says nothing. She wears shorts when it’s 50 degrees outside. These girls travel in packs; they will go to games, parties, and (most commonly) the bathroom together, as if they don’t have individual identities; they are just Group X.

A preppy girl lives for being in the spotlight based on her words. She wants to be noticed and perceived as smart. She’s the kind of person who starts a debate as soon as she walks into class, only stopping after being told five times, then carries the debate out of the classroom, and gets everyone involved. These debaters tend to stick together and compete over academic honors, accepting an A- as a failure. Although this girl wants to be perceived as smart, as soon as March rolls around she trades in her Ralph Lauren crewneck sweater, schoolgirl skirt, and Sperry’s for J-Crew shorts and flip-flops. Then, after complaining about being cold the rest of the day, she would wear shorts the next day and continue to suffer. These girls feel as if they must represent the typical “California Girl” and show off their ability to wear shorts in March.

Adapting to a “herd mentality,” these girls do not observe the practical choices of peers outside their bubble.

I do not feel part of either group based on my daily exchanges around my dress. I wear a skirt or a dress to school at least three times a week and I’m continually asked, “Why are you so dressed up?” and “Why do you try so hard?” To me the simple answers are, “I’m not,” and “I don’t.”

I know which clothes suit me, and I try to make life as easy as possible for myself by not forcing myself to fit a standard that I’m not comfortable with. But, I could never explain that to someone without coming off as offensive, so I’ve resorted to saying, “I planned it the night before,” or “it’s my emergency outfit.” I feel fake when I do, but being someone who knows what I like and what makes me happy among a sea of confused faces is hard, so I have to pretend I’m confused too.

High school is a time when many people figure out who they are or what they’re interested in. However, sometimes that questioning phase can lead people to fall back on a “herd mentality.” This mindset is what is causing the abundance of yoga pants in our society even though I doubt all us love exercise that much. Some people are not able to find themselves by themselves, causing them to don either elaborate get-ups or the same basic outfit 24/7, which forces others to judge them and decide who they are. They go along with it for the rest of their life until they cannot fake being happy anymore or finally break out of their shell and realize they have a different calling.

Short Takes:

Approaching Sexual Assault on College Campuses in

The Hunting Ground Article written by Lauren Chan Layout by Ashley Zhang

M

ore than sixteen percent of college women are sexually assaulted while in college. This is a statistic I never wanted to believe--and when I saw it pop up onto the screen of the documentary The Hunting Ground, I almost hoped that the directors had just cherry-picked the high end of a particularly damning study. I was promptly informed by my screen that no less than eight reputable studies have produced those same numbers, many in just the last few years. My brain immediately kicked into high gear. 16 in 100. 8 in 50. 4 in 25. I’m going to college this year.

While this instance was just one among many disturbing stories and statistics featured in The Hunting Ground, this documentary is not intended simply to scare college students or their families. Rather, The Hunting Ground seeks to shine a light on the epidemic of sexual assault, the stunning lack of support for survivors, and the student activists who work to make college campuses safer and more receptive to the gravity of sexual assault.

The documentary spans a number of stories, focusing on two young women from UNC Chapel Hill but featuring men and women from Swarthmore, Harvard, UC Berkeley, University of Mississippi, St. Mary’s College--in other words, no size, location, or selectivity level of a college exempts them from the issue. The documentary quickly zooms in on their main point: according to the women themselves, the most painful experience was not the rape itself but that their universities turned a blind eye to their situations. In seeking justice, or at least an investigation, survivors of sexual assault again and again met administrations too fraught with the weight of athletic interests, the power of fraternities, and concerns about public image to prioritize their response to assault allegations. In one case, a school allowed two students accused of rape to play in the NCAA basketball tournament before expelling them both.

This documentary is by no means easy to watch, but its intensity mirrors the intent of the activists and documentary producers. Like their proposed response to the issue, this documentary is in-your-face, demanding recognition. The Hunting Ground is jam-packed and emotional, a call to action in the form of a loud, undeniable siren. Everyone involved in the production of the documentary--from survivors to campus police to university experts––know from experience that shouts and whistles aren’t heard.