restroom

Among transgender American students, 65% are harassed at school, with an upward of 70% avoiding using the restroom at school as a result. While some claim safety concerns for cisgender students — in particular, minor women — as a reason, trans-inclusivity on campus can lead to a more positive, and safer, environment for all. As a result of inclusive education on campus, assaults and harassment on transgender students decrease (by about 13.1%), while the average GPA increases. Part of this process is normalizing the presence and existence of transgender students, part of which involves allowing the use of the proper restroom.

Allowing transgender students to use the restroom that matches their gender identity is a net positive. They pose no greater risk to others than cisgender students, and doing so results in a more positive, and less violent campus. When done in conjunction with efforts to normalize the existence of trans people, there are only benefits. As such, schools that currently do not allow trans students to use the bathroom that they identify with should do so promptly.

I have never been far away from my mom for more than two weeks since I was born. She’s my best friend, my support system, my comfort, and she was leaving me to live in the middle of nowhere –– Redwood City. It’s hard to fly from LA to San Jose. It’s a six-hour drive without traffic, taking the wrong exit, or stopping at a rest area. Sometimes my mom would try to visit us on weekends, but since she worked on Mondays, she would leave on Sunday nights. Only being able to physically spend less than two days with her, depending on whether she took a bus ride or flight back home, was something I had to learn to live with.

It was strange not having my mom by my side –– someone who would pack my lunches, pick me up from school at 2:30, and dry my hair at night. I hated that my brother and I had to grow up without having her by our side. To some people, two years may not seem like a lot but at the moment, it felt excruciatingly long. At one point, her frequent visits stopped – it was bound to happen. No other adult I knew would buy a plane ticket every weekend or take a Xe Đò Hoàng (bus service) to see their children. However, my mom still tried to save enough money to visit at least twice a month. Despite being hundreds of miles apart, we still video-chatted twice a day.

I eventually got used to living without my mom. After she left, my brother and I were signed up for an after-school program. I spent most of my life going to school and coming home in the evening. As my father worked many jobs, finishing work late, I often found myself waiting until nine p.m. to be picked up. We would eat dinner at greasy fast-food places or cheap Vietnamese restaurants. Being separated from my mom allowed me to realize things I took for granted, such as her delicious home-cooked meals. I always enjoyed the rare occasions when my father cooked dinner. It wasn’t fancy or anything, and most of the time it tasted bad, but the feeling of having a home-cooked meal was something more filling than food at a restaurant.

By the time my brother finished middle school, my mom returned home and I couldn’t be happier. I know that being apart from one another was equally challenging for her, and understand that we cannot change the past. Although we cannot get back the time that was lost, I try to cherish the time we have together because life is short and you never know what’s going to happen at any given moment.