weddings The Malta Independent on Sunday 8 October 2017
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weddings
HONEYMOON packing What you pack for your honeymoon depends its length, destination and the time of year you travel. And it's too easy to end up taking far more than you need. The case(s) in point. Whatever you pack find something light, practical and smart to carry it in. Make sure, for your own sake, it has wheels and/or comfortable back straps. Modern air travel places endless restrictions on most of us with maximum vital statistics for cabin it, not to mention what we can put in them. A larger suitcase as check in luggage might be necessary. But, if you are on a port to port sea cruise you will have a lot more freedom of choice over what you take on this 'trip of a lifetime'. Put a label with your name, address and contact details inside each case and something to make it easily identifiable tied or stuck on the side, if it is to go in the hold. This is especially important if your luggage is new and you risk not recognising it as it travels round and round on the conveyer.
Travelling light Travellers on land and sea do not have the same strict regulations as airline passengers. Although the less you take away the less you have to worry about keeping track of, and the more space you will have for everything you want to bring home to remind you of the fantastic trip you enjoyed. But if flying is involved remember to check the baggage allowances for the airlines you are using and plan around them. It will help avoid surprise excess luggage charges and ensure you can carry your possessions around without having to buy more bags or risking serious injury.
Sigh‌ but what to pack? Check lists can be a huge help, but base them on what you, personally think you will need. Take only what you love and know looks good; plus something new and special for a few romantic dinners. Choose for the events and places you have planned by putting together outfits for all the different days and places. You will find you can mix and match successfully enough to cut a lot of what you first pick out. Basically, you want to look good and be comfortable and confident wherever you are. Include the toiletries and appliances you always use. If there are adventure activities planned check what will be provided, and what you can hire, to prevent having to cart awkward equipment around with you.
Have little list – or better still three Packing is so much easier if it's broken down into lists and everything on each list is packed in one go. First, list clothes shoes and accessories, to give you plenty of different looks with a limited number of clothes, and pack complete outfits together as much as possible. Whether you are a folder or a roller really does not matter but the suggestions of putting shoes at the bottom of a case, with small bits and pieces tucked into them, and packing the first things you are likely to need when you arrive on top, are very practical. Follow with a list of toiletries and cosmetics, in 100cc packaging if they going in hand luggage. Remember to add sunscreens, insect repellents, prescription medicines; keep these in their original bottles or packaging. Hotels should provide a hairdryer, so save the space if you can. However, do take anything you regularly use with you. If you can even find what you want abroad it could well cost twice as much as it does here, and do you really want to waste time precious time buying boring basics after all?
Absolute must-haves and fun gadgets It's hard to imagine this, but people have been known to forget tickets and passports. So do actually write them on a list, along with ID cards, visas, credit, ATM and telephone top-up cards, driver’s licence, records of hotel reservations, pre-booked tickets for places of entertainment and travel networks, copies of your travel and medical insurance policies and the blue card if you
are going to a country that has a reciprocal medical agreement with Malta. Add a hard copy of important phone numbers, such as credit card companies, in case your phone, laptop or bank cards are lost or stolen. How much techno-stuff you will need is up you; as this is a honeymoon the less virtual communication you spend time on the better. However, some way of taking photos and videos is essential. You may think so many special places and moments will be unforgettable but nothing can beat reliving them for years to come as photos or movies. A book or kindle might be useful to while away any travel delays, and a tablet or smart phone will be let you share some of the magical moments. But, please, leave work behind.
What goes where? Anything you want to be able to lay hands on at a moment's notice, which is basically all of the above, should be in your hand baggage, check up-dated airline regulations about electrical items, they are not all the same and can change from one day to the next. And remember that all such equipment has to be fully-charged and working, so keep chargers close by. Include also, all medication, a change of clothing, sponge bag and makeup, umbrella, if you are going somewhere with unreliable weather, a snack and something to drink and earplugs. You will also feel happier if all cash and any jewellery or sentimental treasures are in your hand luggage too. Check in baggage will take everything else on your lists and you could add a fold-up tote bag for beach and shopping duties, and a plastic zip-fastener bag for wet swimsuits or laundry. A sewing kit, first aid kit, travel kettle and travel iron might also be useful.
Good timing Even if you are going on your honeymoon immediately, or the day after the wedding, it will make all the difference if you can plan and pack everything well in advance. The idea of rushing around grabbing items and stuffing them into bags at the last minute is the stuff of nightmares. Couples are probably better off doing their own packing, so as to avoid rows about what to take and who's to blame if something is forgotten. After all, this is to be an amazing trip, chosen especially to celebrate how just the two of you will spend a very special time together. Bon voyage!
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All in the family
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More and more couples are looking for ways to make their weddings truly original and personal.
o find out about one very special way to do this we spoke to Adrienne Lawson about her part in her sister’s wedding in Malta, earlier this
year.
Where did the idea of writing and conducting the wedding ceremony yourselves come from and how did you and your ‘co-conductor’ come to be the celebrants? Michelle and Stefan wanted to have their ceremony in Malta. (They had previously had a registry office wedding in Boston, USA). Seeing as they were already legally married, the ceremony is a service, so anyone can take it. I attended a wedding in Malta last summer where they had the full ceremony with a Maltese registry officer and it was very impersonal and not very romantic. It was quoting verbatim the laws and legislation of the Maltese Wedding Acts and taken by someone we didn’t know. Due to Michelle and Stefan already being married she choose me and Jo (her best friend from college) to conduct the ceremony in front of their friends and families. How much input did you and the bride and groom have? Stefan and Michelle wrote the whole ceremony but loosely based on a normal British ceremony (Church of England). They choose the readings and the songs and also wrote the address, but this could have been written by the conductors: Introduction; prayers; readings; declarations; address: words about the couple and marriage; reading; song, vows; exchanging of the rings; signing of the registry (not completely necessary but good photo opportunity) declaration of marriage. Jo and I helped out by tweaking it to make it flow better but it was mainly Michelle and Stefan’s decisions. What considerations regarding traditions, guests, the location etc did you consider when deciding on the ceremony, and what important must-haves was it essential to include? Traditions are very much de-
The perfect setting for a family wedding. Photo by Julian Gyula Zacsfalvi choose any readings that are pendent on your nationality so it special to the couple or have sigdiffers for each couple but we nificant meaning. Traditional enfollowed a very British wedding trance and exit music is always but I’m sure Catholic weddings good, but again it is very dearen’t too dissimiliar. There are a pendent on what the couple lot of readings that are quinteslikes. It could be any type of sential wedding readings such music. Normal intro and exit as excerpts from the following: songs are the Classical: Bridal St Paul’s letter to the Corinthichorus – Wagner, Canon in D, ans, Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, Pachelbel. Songs are the ClassiWinnie the Pooh, Owl and the cal: Bridal chorus – Wagner, Pussy Cat. However, you can
Adrienne and Jo during the ceremony. Photo by Julian Gyula Zacsfalvi
Canon in D, Pachelbel or Modern: Somewhere Over The Rainbow – Israel Kamakawiwo’Ole; A Thousand years – Christina Perri. You can pick any theme. Michelle didn’t have one but this is normally more flowers and ceremony cards What was the most important part of your preparations for the event and how much help and support did you receive? The most important thing was to practice going through it all together to make sure we all knew when we were coming in and to understand how the ceremony flowed. Make sure you have a dry run before the wedding so you can get your positions right and understand how it works with the microphones. We also Skyped and facetimed each other, to do run throughs. Small tip, as with any public speaking you can never speak too slowly. As you had never conducted a wedding ceremony before, let alone your sister’s what were your thoughts before, during and after the event? Before it was slightly nerve wracking as I was also speaking
in German for a bit of it but once the ceremony started it all flowed so well and seemed to be a blur. When it is your own family it is very emotional and was hard at times to not let your voice crack as you deliver your words to the congregation. After the ceremony everyone had such kind words to say about it, but I was more thrilled about my newly wedded sister! Family members, conducting a wedding ceremony, (unless a relative is a priest!) are practically unheard of in Malta so what were some of the comments guests made and what would you say makes such a ‘family’ wedding so special? Everyone was incredibly complementary about the service and they didn’t know it was possible for a family member or friend to take a wedding ceremony. The fact that it is family and best friends who took and were part of the ceremony made it more special and personal, rather than having someone you don’t really know deliver the most important ceremony of their life.
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weddings
CAPTURING THE L OF PURE HAPPINE Your wedding makeup is every bit as important as your dress, it will define how you look and enhance every expression throughout the celebrations.
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he time of year and the date, you choose for your wedding, does not just have to fit in with work, holiday time, family commitments and other obligations. It needs to be a time when you feel at your fittest and most
beautiful. Some people thrive in summer, others sparkle in winter. Spring feels light and romantic; autumn brings cooler weather and fresh energy. Whichever season you choose there will be makeup tints and shades to compliment it, so your look can be both natural and striking. But, whatever the month, spend several weeks before the big day on a clear skin regime then by the time you say your vows you will be positively glowing. Just as you have an ideal hairstyle to discuss with your stylist, so too you should have a clear idea of the effect you want from your make up. If you normally go for a natural look, the thought of everything you might need for your wedding may seem daunting. This is where a makeup artist can be a real help. Choose one who is happy to let you be yourself, and use the products and brands you like. Then discuss how you would like to look – natural, innocent and demure or dazzling and exotic. But don't be pressured into anything you don't like just because it is 'so now', or the makeup artist is an expert at a certain technique. On your wedding of all days you want your own personality and identity to shine through. You should also discuss your skin type and any allergies or sensitivity you may have to certain substances that may be in some make up. Together you can search for the products you need to create a look that will be perfect in life and on film, and stay put, with the minimum of touching up, throughout the ceremony, the reception and the after party. Whatever you choose must suit your skin tone and colouring. An admired celebrity may be an inspiration, but slavishly reproducing any make up style risks you looking at best artificial and at worst bizarre. Have a few practice runs between five and three weeks before the big day to decide on the shades that will suit you and whether to go for extra lashes or use a fake tan. The time of the ceremony and celebrations will also influence your choices. If the wedding will carry on after dark, a re-touch up to allow for artificial light will be necessary. And, of course, makeup that would look perfect on a sunny summer morning will not work for a wedding taking place as the sun sets.
Pure and natural looks
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LOOK SS When you are trying out your wedding make up wear a plain T-shirt in bright white, or a shade similar to your wedding dress, and take any jewellery or hair ornaments you will be wearing, even some flowers in the colour of your bouquet. These will all help you chose make up tones that will enhance and compliment your whole image. If you plan to do your own make up have a number of trial runs. And take selfies to give you a better perspective than just the one you see in the mirror. However, discussing your best features, those you want to draw attention to and enhance as well as the ones you would rather disguise, plus everything from highlighters, blushers, eyebrows and lashes, moisturisers and cleansers with someone who knows what they are talking about will give you all the confidence you need. Think how, nervous and excited you will be as you get ready for your wonderful day. Treating yourself to someone to do your make up for you may be one of the best wedding decisions you make. After all, on such an important occasion you will want to feel totally confident and know you are looking as beautiful as you can be – a blushing bride in very good way.
Bold and beautiful
Stand out with a striking image
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OCTOBER 2017
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weddings
WEDDING GUESTS FROM OVERSEAS Inviting family and friends who live abroad to your wedding requires careful considerations and planning.
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he first thing, of course will be who to invite. Remember, that some people you would really love to be with you may be unable to find the funds to make the trip, or even the means to take time off from their work and responsibilities. Give your guests plenty of warning. Letting everyone know your planned date well in advance gives them more time to plan and, very likely, to save up for the trip. Make it easier by choosing dates that can be combined with annual holiday trips. Ask if they will be able to make it, and issue invitations accordingly later. Bearing in mind that some guests may struggle to afford the trip, make it clear in your invitation that you would rather have their presence than their presents (as they say). This will surely be true, or why invite them? They will most probably want to give you something anyway and will ask about your wishes, otherwise you should mention nothing about gifts until you send the acknowledgments after the wedding. When you send out the invitations set up a Facebook page with ways for guests to get in touch with each other, and maybe share transport or
accommodation costs, and some useful information such as: Airlines including charter flights from their country Details and links to accommodation – hotels, guest houses or self-catering farmhouses, information for those who don't fancy Airb&b. Suggest those in different price ranges to cater for individual preferences and budgets. They should be within easy reach of the wedding venue. Car hire firms and the paperwork they need to produce when hiring a car. Details of places to visit, events and activities you know they will be interested in, so they can fill the time between festivities having the best holiday or short break. A list of the dates and timetable table for the events you have planned as part of the wedding celebrations. Directions to all relevant venues and their phone contact numbers for those who will be handling their own travel and accommodation arrangements. Post glamorous images of the island but don't be tempted to give away any of the surprises they will have on the big day. Some people will be happy to book their own travel arrangements and those who already know the island will have an idea of where they would like to
stay, others will need some guidance, because however much Googling your overseas guests do on line, your local knowledge will be a huge help. Other ways to make it as easy as possible for your guests to attend depend on their relationship with you. Family members could perhaps stay with their Malta based relatives. Large families or groups of friends or work colleagues might like to share a holiday home or even benefit from a block booking in the same hotel. Having everyone within the same area will make it easier to hire buses to and from the wedding and for any group events you organise. A really perfect idea is to hold an informal lunch or supper party the night before the wedding. Guests will be arriving in Malta at different times so this way you will be able to meet and greet each one. Plus, your guests, both visitors and locals, can meet each other and everyone will feel welcome, wherever they are from. However happy they are to be there, your overseas guests will have made a lot of effort to come to your wedding. Obviously you will be very busy and preoccupied, but include them as much as possible, especially the ones who will be leaving straight
Find ways for your guests to enjoy local sites and activities
Guests from far away need a very special welcome after the event. It will add to the joy if you invite one or two of them to take part in the wedding service in some way, and they should certainly be mentioned in the wedding speeches and thanked for coming ‘all the way’ to share the celebrations. And, if possible, organise some extra outings and trips for your guests and be prepared to join in, instead of going straight off on you honeymoon. Plan a honeymoon trip for when everyone
A beautiful local setting will not fail to impress. Photo by Julian Gyula Zacsfalvi
T WORDS of
LOVE
he promises couples make when they say I do reflect their love and commitment to live together for the rest of their lives, mindful of each other’s security and happiness, whatever the future brings. A wedding is one of the most important personal ceremonies many of us will ever enjoy and as such it is good to plan every last detail with as much information and ideas as we can find, to make it the best it could possibly be. The autumn issue of I Do is out now; get your copy from your favourite newsagent or book shop. We have prepared an edition packed with interesting articles inspired by a royal theme throughout, including a stunning bridal photo shoot. You can read all about the behind the scenes of our photo shoot. Special guest contributor, Pauline Bondin a senior social worker, discusses what makes a happy marriage. We have some exciting ideas for your honeymoon in UK destinations
has gone, and settle for a night or two in a luxury hotel to relax and get your energy back, so you can spend more time with such special friends and family; after all as a couple you will have your whole future together. Entertaining guests who have come a long way to join in your wedding celebrations can add a lot of fun to the whole occasion and hopefully a lot of shared experiences and memories to last a life time.
with a royal connection. Several lovely couples share their wedding stories and we also feature some top local wedding venues. The winter edition of I Do Magazine is out in November and we are really excited about sharing this one with you all too. If you would like to advertise your service in this edition feel free to contact us on 21345 888 or email us on adas@independent.com.mt we would love to hear from you.
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Make your wedding inviting The invitations you send out will be your guests’ first impression of what you have in store for them.
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ore than you can imagine is involved in wedding invitation etiquette and not all of it takes into account the sort of information guests today need, or the place social media has in asking friends and family to join a couple celebrating their marriage. Since as many as four generations may be represented in the guest list certain traditional formats are essential – great grandma may not appreciate missing her invitation because she is a stranger to all applicable apps, and Facebook. Delight everyone who still remembers what envelopes and stamps are for with an elegant, beautifully printed invitation, delivered by a real live post person. If you plan to email Save the Date alerts, six months notice is the very least you should give, so any travel, leave, grooming and shopping arrangements can be booked in time. And you could add details of a wedding website if you will have one. You may also send the news in a special card to anyone you think would appreciate it more. Be sure to keep a list of every one you notified, so no one is forgotten when the actual invites go out. And, remember to save every reply and all feed back in a special folder, then you can always see at a glance who will be coming. One small point though, don't send actual invitations so far in advance that you will be in a mess if you change your ideas about the wedding and are stuck with the original guest list. Having to reduce the number you've invited could cause no end of bad feeling, so only inform the people
to do. The actual invitation needs only to state by and to whom the invitation is being sent and if a plus one is included, the names of the couple to be, the place, date and time of the wedding service, where and when the reception will be held, possibly a dress code and where to send RSVPs. Set a very clear expiry date for acceptances of a maximum of three weeks after guests receive their invitation. Your caterer will appreciate having final numbers, in good time. Any other details including menu options, directions to the church, wedding venue, reception etc, whether or not children are invited, if there is a theme, unless you want to keep this a surprise, plus gift suggestions and details of your wedding website should be included separately. Naturally, what you really want is for your guests to have the most amazing time sharing your celebrations. And as long as this comes across in a warm and inviting invitation you can be sure they will.
you know for certain you will want to be there. It was once expected that with formal invitations all honorifics should be used, even if they are not used by the persons
themselves. Mr, Mrs, Ms, Dr, Prof, Sir, Lord or Lady are now quite sufficient, but thinking of each recipient and addressing the envelope as you know they would like to be addressed is the most courteous thing
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AN UNHAPPY RELEASE Once upon a time it was confetti, then fireworks and doves, now, sadly, it’s butterflies.
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n unpleasant trend is fluttering into wedding plans as couples consider replacing The statutory pair of white doves with a swarm of butterflies to release at a high point during their wedding ceremony. But perhaps these couples are not fully aware of the effect this fleeting gesture has on the environment and the beautiful butterflies themselves. In the belief that butterflies are good luck and carry our wishes skywards, newlyweds, and often their guests too, hurl several dozen live butterflies out of tiny bags and boxes, for just a few seconds of Disneymovie romantic effect. This fad began in America and the hundreds of online companies providing the butterflies describe it as a unique and enchanting experience. Which it may well be for those with no idea of how it all works. The exquisite butterflies, symbols of rebirth and renewal, are actually subjected to cruelty. They are after all creatures with a nervous system, and therefore victims of stress and suffering, and not inanimate props and decoration. But they are bred in farms, forced into artificial hibernation by reduced temperatures, then stuffed into tiny envelopes and shipped thousands of miles, in cold packs. Customers are advised to replace these regularly until just over an hour before the butterflies are to be released. Those in the business claim their butterflies are not harmed and are disease free or indigenous to the area they are going to, or that they may even help some species to repopulate. They would say that. What is actually at stake here is that a split second after their release, if they escape the
Monach butterflies individually wrapped for release
Butterflies act as pollinators wedding venue’s air conditioning system, any butterflies who have survived transit and are still able to fly, will soar away carrying the sentiments of the happy couple and their guests, towards a probably hostile environment in which they will very likely be unable to survive or breed. If they do, they may well overrun the local breeds or introduce diseases that help wipe them out. Naturalists and environmentalists and anyone with an affection and respect for nature are very concerned and wish this custom would stop. Butterflies act as pollinators and are indicators of the ecosystem’s wellbeing. Tampering with their prolifera-
tion upsets the ecosystem more than we realise. It does seem a shame that with all the magnificent ways a couple can celebrate their wedding, starting their life together with a gesture that is basically an act of cruelty could ever be considered, however popular it becomes. And perhaps thinking about the real cost and effects it causes will prompt them to choose more caring, and less harmful ways to mark such a momentous occasion; something that will not offend conservation-minded guests or upset those whose pretty box or envelope turns out to hold what is no longer a live butterfly – something that will be just as
Signed, sealed and delivered colourful, delightful and uplifting for everyone as these glorious, winged messengers.