father’s day The Malta Independent on Sunday 11 June 2017
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father’s day
Far away FATHERS
Next week many families will be celebrating everything their fathers mean to them. But some of the best fathers in the world will not be there to join in.
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hen work, voluntary duties, illness and lots of other reasons keep fathers away from their families for long periods at a time it is not easy for them, or their
children. A great deal of research and millennial family feedback confirms what most of us know instinctively, that a father's love is as important to a child’s emotional development as a mother’s. Making sure that love and all it entails survives and thrives while fathers and their children are apart is vital. Ever since the family unit existed, men have gone off to hunt, fight, discover new and better places to build a future, or simply to earn a living to support it. In some cultures it is almost expected and not regarded as unusual or a disadvantage when fathers work away from home. Fortunately fathers with careers that take them to far-flung destinations, and, sometimes into situations most of us would be happy to avoid, have a job that offers a real sense of purpose and gives them happiness and great personal satisfaction. We, otherwise, would be without the very people who play
Fathers with very young children, for whom the concept of daddy going away means he’s really leaving them, often give them something ‘valuable’ or important to look after till they come back. such a vital part in our own welfare, from our health and security to our sources of entertainment and amusement. Yes, believe it or not, performers, film and cruise ship crews, writers and researchers frequently spend a good amount of time in some less than glamorous locations on our behalf.
It is important that children have all the information they can about why their fathers are absent explained in a way they can understand, so they will feel proud of them. Parents should make it clear to their children's school if two copies of reports or information relating to the children need to be sent out, so fathers can keep directly up to date with their children's progress. The school also needs to be aware that these children may sometimes need a little extra back up, even if they don't actually say anything. So how does a fond father stay close to his children and how can they feel connected and make his absence pass as quickly as possible till he returns. Thanks to 21st century communication technology it's easier than ever. We have Instagram and Facebook. Unless their fathers are on a secret military mission, or out in the wilds somewhere, children can tweet, Snapchat and email easily. Fathers can record bedtime stories to read to their children. Skyping means they can be there for everyday rituals and family get-togethers or just to chat. A child's development, achievements and school events can be recorded so daddy will not miss out on a single one. Children and their fathers can order gifts online to send direct for
special occasions and share selfies during important events. It's all so much better than the days of trusting long letters to an unreliable postal service or taking photos that had to be developed and sent off before they could be seen. And does anyone remember the crackly phone calls which had to be booked hours ahead and were nearly always cut off all too soon? Just before some fathers leave for a job away, and when they return, they can take each child out on their own for a joint one-to-one treat. Everyone values the time spent specially to be together and feels they will not, and have not, been forgotten. Others hide tiny presents, pictures and messages around the house for their children to search for after they've gone. Fathers with very young children, for whom the concept of daddy going away means he's really leaving them, often give them something 'valuable' or important to look after till they come back. This reassures little ones that daddy intends to come back. Older children often set up a project to be completed by the time their fathers return. Clearing out a store room, keeping the yard or garden tidy, even doing some decorating will make them feel they are helping in his ab-
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sence and that he will be proud of them on his return. And to help that absence seem shorter, find regular ways to count off the days till you are all together again. A calendar always works. Popping a sticker or emioji in the square at the end of each day and watching the weeks fill up lets you see how fast they are passing. If you have internet access, play games or go on a virtual field trip together. Free programs like Aol Instant Message mean you can communicate with each other while looking at the webpages. Other ways to stay close might include keeping a note book or diary and writing a message, piece of news, short story or a joke each day about what you have been doing; perhaps adding a small sketch or photo. At the end of a month or two they can be sent to the absent father, and he can send one to his children as a really personal way of exchanging thoughts and feelings. They would also make precious keepsakes as the children grow up. Children should keep up family traditions and celebrations but start new ones as well. If a father is in the services, a medical or teaching facility or working in an area with social problems, children can involve their school, families and friends in collecting educational or aid parcels to send over. This would be yet another way to still feel part of each other's lives. And, even everyone is missing each other and wishing things were different, keep socialising. Choosing the company of people who can both cheer everyone up and empathise will give you confidence and support. Then the time you are so looking forward to will arrive all the more quickly.
ard Rock’s World Burger Tour is back and ready to take guests on an international adventure– no passport necessary! World Burger Tour, a limited-time offering of Hard Rock Local Legendary© Burgers, inspired by the taste and flavours from cafe locations around the world. And in Malta we have selected these popular burgers to feature on our menu throughout May and June: ENGLISH BREAKFAST BURGER (LONDON, ENGLAND) – a beef patty topped with sliced ham, a sausage patty, a fried egg, a Portobello mushroom, arugula and garlic aioli and served with a side of baked beans TANGO SALSA BURGER (BUENOS AIRES, ARGENTINA) – shake it up with andouille sausage, beef pattie, salsa criolla, garlic aioli, Monterey jack cheese, fresh arugula and a fried egg to top off the burger RIVIERA BURGER (NICE, FRANCE) –a lovely masterpiece made of savory olive tapenade and chipotle flavors, marinated tomato, melty goat cheese, fresh greens and crisp potato rosti sitting perfectly on a beef patty GREEK BURGER (ATHENS, GREECE) – a beef patty piled high with slow-simmered eggplant salad enriched with fresh herbs and vegetables, finished with a dollop of haydari yogurt sauce, crisp lettuce and vine-ripened tomato
Local Legendary©Burgers are served with – Hard Rock’s Savory Artisan French fries. Throughout World Burger Tour, each French fry selection is paired with a complementary signature dipping sauce. Just like the artists whose memorabilia lines the walls at Hard Rock locations worldwide, the burgers served at Hard Rock Cafe are nothing short of “legendary.” All Legendary© Burgers feature the highest quality meats, fresh ingredients, savory sauces and rich, melted cheeses. Pair your favourite World Burger Tour meal up with a bottle of Budweiser for the special price of €15.55! Offer valid between the 16th and 18th June, 2017. Celebrate Father’s Day at Hard Rock Cafe (Bay Street and Valletta Waterfront) and get your hands on this limited time offer! For more information on World Burger Tour and to contact your local café for menu details, please visit www.HardRock.com.
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WHAT CAN WE SAY ABOUT FATHERS?
Fathers evoke a huge mixture of memories and emotions for which they deserve credit. So enjoy these quotations, from and about some famous fathers.
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“It was my father who taught me to value myself. He told me that I was uncommonly beautiful and that I was the most precious thing in his life.” Dawn French, Actress, comedienne and author
“The father who does not teach his son his duties is equally guilty with the son who neglects them.” Confucius, Chinese philosopher
“I’m a strong person, I'm a strong family man, I’m a strong husband and a strong father.” David Beckham, Footballer, model, actor and sports ambassador
“Fatherhood is not rocket science.” Ryan Gosling, Actor
“When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry.” William Shakespeare, Playwrite
“I watched a small man with thick calluses on both hands work 15 and 16 hours a day. I saw him once literally bleed from the bottoms of his feet, a man who came here uneducated, alone, unable to speak the language, who taught me all I needed to know about faith and hard work by the simple eloquence of his example.” Mario Cuomo, American Democratic politician and three-term Governor of New York
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I can definitely say the older I've got the better I've become at being a dad and a husband.
“I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren't trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom.”
Sir Rod Stewart, Singer Author, Umberto Eco, Author
“In my school, the brightest boys did math and physics, the less bright did physics and chemistry, and the least bright did biology. I wanted to do math and physics, but my father made me do chemistry because he thought there would be no jobs for mathematicians.” Stephen Hawking, theoretical physicist, cosmologist, author and Director of Research at the Centre fro Theoretical Cosmology at Cambridge University.
“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.” Mark Twain, Author
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The gif
GAD HAMMER HIT
Avoid crushed thumb syndrome with a nail gun. Lots of these use gas canisters, but a better choice is a battery powered one. Press the nozzle against the surface to start the motor, then press the trigger to fire in the nail.
PAINT JOBS
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here are dads who can turn their hands to all kinds of creative jobs, building novelty beds, doll’s houses, shelters for pets, garden play equipment, shelves, desks and eventually, cabinets for their grown-up children’s first home and lovingly crafted future heirloom toys for grand-children. They can fix anything mechanical from a burnt out fuse to a motor malfunction. And in their spare time they delight in nothing more than adding an extension or two to the family home or upgrading their car or entertainment system. If dad can fix it, the whole family is very lucky indeed. Well think about it, no waiting around for quotes and estimates, jobs are done, more or less, exactly when they need to be and at times to fit in with everyone’s other commitments. Alterations and additions can be planned by family members. There is full control over the budget and no cancellations and waiting around for workmen who fail to show up. It’s a win, win situation and do-it-yourself dads deserve extra gratitude and appreciation on Father’s Day. So, to reward their hard work and encourage those who may still be a bit nervous about painting a wall, hanging
These would be so much easier with an electric roller that will work with common undiluted, emulsion paints and will pump the paint directly onto the roller. Go for one that is easy to clean. Some models will suck paint from the pot, cover 80 square metres before needing a refill and have a pivoting head for easy access to awkward corners. Fine spray systems make painting or varnishing quicker and easier. Make sure there is a flow control to minimise mist. These can also used to spray pesticide.
a picture or putting up a shelf, we’ve done a recce of some popular and up to date gadgets and tools that would make pleasing and practical gifts to say thank to such handy fathers.
SOME TYPICAL TOOLS New fathers with dreams of building toys and mini furniture pieces for their children will welcome a set of tools. Neat cases or boxes containing basic tools such as wrenches, screwdrivers, pliers, scissors, fasteners, hammers, chisels and a Stanley knife; plus a simple electric drill and small saw will provide everything needed for an encouraging start. The following ideas should please those with more experience and a thirst for both practical and creative jobs.
SAW POINTS A quadsaw will turn an ordinary power drill into something that can cut square and rectangular holes, on plaster and drywalls around the house. The holes can be in the two sizes which are most often used for switches and outlets. Adjacent holes can be cut if bigger spaces are needed. It takes very little manual work. A telescoping support holds the drill steady as it cuts and doubles as a gauge ensuring that switches and outlets match in height. And a built-in spirit level makes sure everything is cut straight. Cordless saws with features such as jigsaws are ideal for a range of cutting jobs. Choose one that recharges quickly and has a built-in anti-splintering device and a dust extraction feature. A reciprocating saw is the choice for building out doors and garden use as it is excellent at cutting through both steel and wood.
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t of the
DGET
Boys and their toys are not to be sneezed at they can be very useful. Here are some terrific tools to encourage even the most ham-fisted guy to take up DIY
STICK TO IT There is no end of jobs that can be tackled with a cordless glue gun kit. But as high temperatures are involved safety features are essential. At least make sure it will automatically switch off after a few minutes of non use.
GADGETS for fun S
ometimes it’s nice to give a gift that is just a pure joy. Some gadgets are certainly useful but we can live without them. They simply add a little extra style, originality and fun to everyday jobs and hobbies and will serve to remind the recipient just how he means to you. The following examples will show you’ve given more thought than usual to find a special gift. There are digital cameras everywhere, with photos stored in the ‘clouds’ so revive the joy of pictures with an instant camera. Many of these allow you to print out a copy there and then, hook up directly to your smartphone, edit as much as you like and post the result on Instagram, Snapchat or whatever. The excitement of Polaroid never really went away. Phone power now comes without recource to solar energy and other environmental survival amenities, with smartphone charging. Some wires are still needed but plugging a phone into a socket in the wall will soon be history. Make sure the charger you buy is actually compatible with the respective phone (Qi enabled/compatible) and give a gadget that that lets a phone take energy from the wireless charger and convert it to charge itself; which it does efficiently and cost effectively. Fathers, and grandfathers to, often need to feel more connected and a smart watch can give them access, whenever they want to be, to everything from fitness activity and music to emails, texts and 'what's up', all at the flick of a wrist. Again, remember to check compatibility with the relevant
iOS or Android device. An action/handy man will be flattered with the gadget that resembles a Swiss Army Knife on steroids. This is a 10-in-1 tool that acts as a hammer, wire cutter, pliers, flat head screwdriver, bottle opener, reamer, saw blade, Phillips head screwdriver, file, and knife blade tackle all home and outdoor projects.
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DOTING DADS, LO THAT LAST A LIFET Enjoying a baby’s early months is the happiest way to start being a dad.
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or all those fathers who did not, or do not, expect to have much to do with their children until they stand at least a metre high and can verbalise their opinions and requests in more than a series of shrieks, you don’t know what you are missing. The UK’s Welcome Trust has been looking into the effects a father’s relationship with his baby in his or her early months, and it is seriously important. In fact his communication and interaction in the first months after his child is born may influence how its behaviour develops in later life. The level of engagement fathers have with their children in the first months of life may influence the development of behavioural problems later. It seems children of only two to three months are not too young to benefit from their fathers’ friendly involvement in their daily lives. And by the age of one year these children tend to be more stable and have fewer problems than those whose fathers were more remote. At risk of making sexist deductions it also appears that interaction with a father tended to be more important for boys than girls. Although, this is a bit of a claim considering how special a bond between father and daughter so often is. But the trust’s findings are published in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, and any chance for even tiny babies to establish close ties with both parents is what every family aims for. Just for fun, here are some examples of good fathers that appear throughout history, in fiction and reality. Charlemagne, A.D. 742-28 was the first ruler of the Holy Roman Empire and known as the Father of Europe. A particular favourite among his sons was
Pepin, who had a spinal deformity which earned him the nickname Pepinthe-Hunchback, and was illegitimate. But he chose a younger, legitimate son as his successor and so Pepin conspired to kill him, his wife and all his legitimate sons. Pepin’s plot was discovered but Charlemagne was merciful enough to send him to a monastery for the rest of his life, rather than execute him with the other plotters. Charlemagne also spoilt his daughters, keeping them close to him and seeing they were educated. And even when they became too friendly with the courtiers, their illegitimate children were loved and indulged as well. Finally, on his death, Charlemagne bequeathed his surviving daughters convents in which to live. Thomas More was a religious scholar, the author of Utopia, a socio-political, satirical work of fiction, and Lord Chancellor of England during Henry
VIII‘s reign. He was a good father who give his three daughters a the same classical education as his son received, which was extremely unusual in those days. But his refusal to support the king over his split from the Catholic Church got him imprisoned in the Tower of London for treason. When he was subsequently beheaded, his eldest daughter, Margaret, bribed the man who was supposed to throw her father’s head in the river, so it could be given a decent burial instead. Jim Henson, the creator of Kermit the frog, Miss Piggy, other iconic Muppets and the children’s television show
Sesame Street, had five children who solved the problem of their father’s long working days by joining in. A son and daughter became co-CEOs of Jim Henson’s Creature Shop, where film and movie characters are built. And another daughter is president of the Jim Henson Foundation, an NGO promoting puppetry in the United States. In Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, Mr Bennet is somewhat swamped by Elizabeth and Darcy. But he is really one of the most interesting and amusing characters as the father of five daughters, the youngest of whom he fondly refers to as” the silliest girls in
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OVE TIME the country”. His philosophical good nature sees him through his family’s trials and triumphs with more humility, humour and compassion than most early 18th century fathers were thought to possess. When Christopher Robin, was five years old, in 1925, his father, author and
play-write A.A. Milne, presented him with a teddy bear which he called Winnie-the- Pooh. Milne was essentially an awkward and introverted father but the effort he made to form a close relationship with his son is very touching. The bear, and other animal toys, inspired the series of books he wrote for his son. And, while Milne never considered himself a children’s author and, as a school boy, Christopher Robin desperately tried to live down the books’ effect on his life, father and son were very alike and had an affectionate relationship. When president, Barack Obama entered the White House he kept his promise to give his two daughters a dog. He also wrote a book, dedicated to them,
containing a mixture of praise and encouragement and mini-biographies of role models such as Helen Keller and Georgia O’Keeffe. And, in a truly heartwarming open letter to the girls, in Parade magazine, he wrote: “When I was a young man, I thought life was all about me. But then the two of you came into my world with all your curiosity and mischief and those smiles that never fail to fill my heart and light up my day. And suddenly, all my big plans for myself didn’t seem so important anymore. I soon found that the greatest joy in my life was the joy I saw in yours.” OK, it is sentimental. But so is Father’s Day and those of us who have or are doting dads shouldn’t be afraid to celebrate something so priceless.
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Fit for fatherhood There are plenty of reasons why fathers should concentrate on their health and welfare when planning and starting a family.
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t's a given for prospective mothers to put all the emphasis necessary into getting as fit as they possibly can before having their baby. Literally tons of advice from every source imaginable, some extremely valuable, is available. Everything is covered from genetic health concerns, diet, exercise and relaxation to choosing music to play for a baby in the womb and how to stop the family dog getting jealous when he or she arrives. But, only comparatively recently have preparation issues become the father's concern. At one time, when his only contribution to the event, apart from the obvious, was some token back rubbing and the consumption of endless cigarettes, coffees or pints of beer while waiting to finally meet his child, no one gave poor daddy much thought. He was left to bottle up the terrifying prospect of being responsible for a new life with only sketchy information and, no doubt, some horror tales from his friends and colleagues; if they even discussed such things. Thank goodness we have moved on. A father's role is up there where it should be and this is how he can step into it; from the first moment possible parenthood is discussed. We now know that it is no longer only the mother whose diet and lifestyle influence the growth of a baby. The father plays a huge part. Responsible research in the right places will tell you all you all you need to
know. And below are three steps to take set you on your way to a fantastic fatherhood.
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Book a service, no, not for the car, for yourself. Any inherent health concerns need to be addressed and sorted. Once the baby arrives life will be exhausting for a while so any aches and pains however debilitating, will have to take a back seat. That will leave you unable to enjoy getting to know the newcomer by playing with him, feeding him and taking him out to show off, together with the considerable amount of transport aids and baggage that one tiny person needs. Eyes, ears, teeth, muscles, joints etc have to be A1.
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Designer diets cover everything these days and the saying: 'You are what you eat' could be followed up with: 'So is your baby'. There are plenty of surveys to suggest how important diet is. Vitamin C plays a major role in the male reproductive system and in promoting conception. Sperm can be damaged by toxins produced in the body and these can be increased by cigarette smoke, radiation, exhaust fumes, even excessive sunlight. But a diet rich in antioxidants such as vitamins C and E, can repel assaults by free radicals. Without going into great detail, a shortage of the protective vitamins, can damage the cells' chromosomes and while the body can repair most damaged cells naturally, some may lead to trouble in the next generation.
We now know that it is no longer only the mother whose diet and lifestyle influence the growth of a baby. The father plays a huge part.
Fathers with a history of poor nutrition could put their children at greater risk of heart disease later in life. Clinically obese men might pass larger fat cells and a risk of obesity and diabetes on to their children. And even a tendency to psychosocial stress can
lead to behavioural issues in their offspring. We also cannot escape the fact that babies can be born with a fetal alcohol condition even if their mothers have never touched a drop. Paternal alcohol use has been linked to lower weight at birth, reduction in brain size and impaired cognitive function.
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Ditch the cigarettes. The endless list of reasons why this is one of the most dangerous habits to expose babies to, at any stage, is far too long for this article. But whatever the emotions, suspense and excitement attached to waiting for a baby, there is hardly a more important time to stop smoking. Of course, fitness is also a state of mind and here again the millennial male has the advantage. There isn't one aspect of impending parenthood that is not out there – on websites and Facebook, or shared in celebrities’ touchy, feely Tweets about how fatherhood changed their lives. Heavens, we've even been informed that royal dads are changing their children's nappies. So explore everywhere and take every bit of practical advice you can use, within reason. All in all, despite the 'insane' events and personalities circulating the world in this century, it is still a good time to start your family and introduce your children to an ideal version of a brave new world. And just by stepping back and enjoying the remarkable journey, you will be a brilliant father.
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SCENTS FOR FATHER’S DAY:
SIX OF THE BEST
Perfume is the gift that keeps on giving...to the giver and recipient alike. Here is a selection of some of the hottest new fragrances on the market for this Father’s Day:
Carolina Herrera: CH men Prive
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CH Men Privé is smoky and rich... It is warm and luxurious with notes of whiskey and leather provocative, modern and rich. CH Men Privé is the true essence of a perfect seducer. The perfect compliment for a worldly man who can easily impress on his own, but with CH Men Privé, the seduction is complete. The CH Privé man knows what he wants and how to get it.
PacoRabanne: Invictus Intense
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Exhilarating freshness versus wild sensuality. Invictus Intense plays on the shock between blazing amber woods and the marine “salty skin” accord, in a woody-fresh wake. Without dropping any of the tension or masculine identity, wildness is left behind to plunge into a heady sensuality. At the scent’s base, a malt salty-amber accord with dynamic wood. First comes a spicy-fresh drive: green-aromatic laurel leaf and orange blossom electrified by the black pepper-cardamom duo. In contrast, the force of black amber and woods give a sea-salty skin effect. A rippling heat finale, at its peak.
2Valentino: Valentino Uomo Intense Prada: 4Luna Rossa Carbon Valentino Uomo Intense is for a man with a charismatic allure and an assertive dominant masculinity with a distinctive aura. An eau de perfume concentration with a long lasting trail to enhance a man's everyday charisma or for a special occasion. A suave leathery fragrance, a deep, unforgettable olfactory signature: black leather and suave vanilla accords.
Luna Rossa Carbon, the new fragance for men from PRADA. Strong as the darkest rock, with the freshness of air, it brings together steam-distilled botanicals and synthetics in a mineral-forward mix: metallic notes of Lavender, green Citrus of Vert de Bergamote from Italy, radiant Wood of Patchouli and dry Amber of Ambroxan.
PacoRabanne: Million Monopoly Collector
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Fortune favours the brave, so PacoRabanne’s Famous 1 Million Gold Bar is back as a collectors’ edition. The coveted item is an all-gold engraved metal box to showcase the throwing of the dice. For our gentleman player, the bar chances the simplicity and strength of gold as always, this time banking on the dice of success. He's a risk-taker and deliberate high-roller.
Jean Paul Gaultier: 6 Eaux Fraiches 2017 – Superman
This year’s Jean Paul Gaultier Limited Edition brings together superheroes for a Gaultier mission. They are strong, they are fearless, they are intrepid. This year’s masculine limited edition stars fragrance Le Male in its iconic bottle and super hero Superman! Together they are invincible! United in combat for an important mission.
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Make a SPECIAL DAY of it
Fathers, grandfathers, stepfathers and even fathers-to-be deserve a day to celebrate their status by doing something a little bit different from the everyday grind.
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ne good way to give everyone a fair share of the fun is to hold a family activity, where all the generations can join in. The day could begin with a visit to an elderly father, who is unable to attend a gathering away from home. Take some little treats and promise to keep in touch during the day. Or, you could leave the visit until later and share accounts and photos of how the day was spent, to make sure he feels included. Take some shots and selfies and make sure everyone has copies. This is the way happy memories are made. Meals out, and treats such as hiring a boat, organising a coastal canoe convoy or a fleet of four-by-fours need to be well planned. Others will have the similar ideas so book well ahead. For something a little more out there, like horse riding, paragliding or an abseiling experience, it might be a good idea to suss out how welcome such an experience would be. Some people may prefer to spend the day totally inert on the beach or peacefully at home eating a vast favourite feast, and running old footage of family movies to recapture
the early joys of fatherhood. Whatever is organised, remember it is very often father who organises family events and outings and drives everyone too and fro. Take over
the driving. He will truly appreciate not having the hassle. And if that is not possible, splash out on taxis so everyone can eat, drink and be merry and avoid parking
nightmares, making it a really relaxing day for the whole family. Gifts are lovely to give and receive but they cannot replace the shared experiences of
favourite places and activities. For first time fathers and older ones capturing these occasions are what makes being a father such a joy. Keep it simple and enjoy the day.