Issue 4 - January 2008

THEMAGDALEN DUNDEE UNIVERSITY STUDENT MAGAZINE

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CONTENTS

ISSUE 04 info:

Current Affairs and News from near and far.

Keep up to date with Dundee student issues and events around campus.

ED I TO R IAL

Welcome to the first edition of 2008, swooping on to stands at the tale end of the month! Issue 4 has been hectic but here it is! January has generally been quite a blue month, purse strings tighten, general miserable weather, dark nights and the inevitable task of settling back into Uni after a decent Chrimbo break…for those in the later stages of a degree, final exam prep is looming down on us. Even so, be sure to give yourself some time out. I highly recommend heading to Air with a copy of The Magdalen and grabbing a flavoured latte, safe in the knowledge that the coffee is finally fair-trade.

Additionally, January is supposedly the month we all rush to gorge on gym equipment, demand detoxing smoothies, and opt for the “diet mixer” with the usual vodka. We are also at our skintest right now, a fact the Institute of Sport and Exercise apparently hasn’t factored into their new price packages for Gym membership as one of our readers points out in inbox:.

You guys have really taken on the challenge to write for The Magdalen allowing for some current issues to be addressed in our features section. With an interest from our green and charitable societies, James and Katie address The Battle for Planet Earth and the importance of volunteering respectively. At a time when celebrities are hijacking the Big Brother house, Andrew Smith highlights a few interesting facts behind internet celebrities and questions the need for the usual reality programmes appearing season after season on our screens.

As an outlet for student opinion, I feel I should also point out a fact brought to my attention by The Magdalen’s audience. It appears our Rector Craig Murray appeared on Newsnight recently to highlight his enjoyment of the act of spanking.

What with a partner half his age, I’m sure it brings him great pleasure….anyone else get that sicky-burp taste at the back of their throat at the thought though? Views on the matter please to themagdalen@dusa.co.uk or directly to my mailbox at L.Bennie@dundee.ac.uk.

Next month The Magdalen goes green to promote Green Week which hopes to raise awareness of our own actions in the grand scale of worldly things. We’ll also be bringing you an interview with Edith Bowman and guests from Re-freshers week so look out for Issue 5 in a few weeks time.

Until then, happy spanking!

Lauren Bennie Editor

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Features

The Batttle for Planet Earth Reality Celebrities: Will it ever stop?

Sesame Street: Have the crtics gone too far?

I DARE you to give The State of the Union

9 Essentials

14

Fashion Project Betty Sort Yourself Out Mate: little clippits of joy to make life that bit easier.

Reviews

Film: Casting a critical eye over the first reviews of 2008.

Love Music: Continuing the search for upincoming Myspace bands and definitive album

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Contributors EDITOR Lauren Bennie.

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Entertainment Reviews: Natalie Coupar, Gavin McNee, Eoin Boylan, Nathan Sparling, Laurie Cameron.

Current Affairs and Features: James Patterson, Conor McCrory, Katie Boog, Monique Wagbara, Adam Patrick, Andrew Smith, John Hume.

Fashion: Andi Michie, Lizete Druka, Palak Bhatt, Kirsty Miller, Nicola Brown.

Photography: Jennifer Collins, Catrin Jeans, Nadia Rossi, Gavin McNee. Graphic Design: Kim Spiers, Ryan Strachan, Lauren Bennie, David MacLeod.

PUBLISHER: David MacLeod.

PUBLISHED BY Vice President of Communications D.U.S.A Airlie Place Dundee DD1 4HP vpc@dusa.co.uk

PRINTED BY David Winters & Sons 16 Dunsinane Ave Dunsinane Ind. Est. Dundee DD2 3QT sales@winterspioneers.co.uk

Recycle your copy of The Magdalen

info: > Current Affairs and News

Student Union criticised over stance on Government budget announcement.

Back in November, local press coverage touched on the latest funding for Scottish Universities sparking widespread debate throughout the University of Dundee.

However, while one might expect the University to stand united in order to improve funding for education, the discussion closer to home around campus settled on the battle between the political motivated parties. In a statement published on Dundee University Student Nationalist Association’s (DUSNA) web pages, the Convenor, Gregor Murray, accused DUSA Executive, and in particular President Milan Bogunovic, of “regurgitating a Labour Party press release” in order to openly attack the budget announcement.

Murray went on to describe the Student Union’s press release of 16 November 2007 as “pretty dire”, and believes that the act of criticising an individual political party as opposed to the Scottish Government is “overstepping their impartial line” as official representatives to the student body.

of the budget outlined on Thursday, many students have real concerns about the future of higher education in Scotland.”

Some would argue that this is a fair statement to make. Bogunovic claims that in the two days leading up to the release of his 16 November statement, students were querying exactly what support they could expect from the SNP Government in the future. The President chose to represent the student anxiety which was brought before him.

In the eyes of a DUSNA convenor, some money is better than no money and for a concerned student executive, more money is quite simply a necessity. We must somehow comprehend that it is an impossibility to be able to please all students, but the student Executive should strive to understand all students. Now is the time for the Executive to address any student discontent, regardless of which side of the argument they fall, whether this is with an explanation of their actions or even an apology. LB

As our last university term drew to a close, Dundee Taxi firms were striking in a bid to move Dundee City Council into action. Taxi owners alike joined together and gathered at Caird Hall to have their voice heard.

Primary concerns addressed the rising number of taxis in the local area in addition to the methods used in which fares were, and allegedly continue to be, picked up.

Students have already been affected by one midnight strike which continued until 6am.

Wayward students pointed out that what

taxis they were able to catch, fares were sometimes double the usual price. It seems not all taxi drivers are united in their cause with some merely out for a quick buck.

Some might see this as “fare” game since one of the main grievances of this battle is the effects increased number of cabs are having on the livelihood of individual taxi drivers.

“I do not believe Mr Bogunovic and the rest of the DUSA Executive are acting on behalf of any of the students when they cross the lines of impartiality and start attacking individual political parties.”

In a further statement issued by the DUSNA Convenor, Murray stated his belief that Dave MacLeod, Vice President of Communications, and President Milan Bogunovic had openly attacked the Scottish Nationalist Party. In another of Murray’s press releases, this time to the local newspapers, this was again mirrored in further allegations that Milan Bogunovic was coming out in favour of the Labour Party.

So what can we expect in the coming months? Dundee City Council must address the concerns raised. If you are thinking about going out on the town during the next strike, please be assured that the Nightbus takes no part and is here to serve the student body homeward bound after a night in the Union! Failing that, stay safe, look after each other and, wherever possible, never walk home alone.

On examination of the original statement released by the DUSA President, Milan chose to highlight motivation and reasoning of student support of the SNP in the May Parliamentary elections.

“Many [students] were attracted by promises of scrapping student debt and pledges to provide more Government support for Universities. Now, in the light

Dundee Taxi’s on Strike

The Magdalen will keep you up to date with progress. LB

Hands up for more Univeristy funding cuts.

The idea behind the new School Challenge concept is to motivate, develop and build a phenomenal Dream Team to take on the likes of those Oxford varsity types. It is most certainly worth pointing out that studying at Dundee University most certainly equips us lot with a life experience that no Oxbridge lot could ever beat.

Make the Most of your Summer Break Give some free time and be rewarded with enhanced career prospects and improved networking opportunities.

The summer months between term time provide the perfect break to broaden your horizons, see the world, develop your career opportunities, or simply to figure out where it is your life is headed. Volunteering Week at the University of Dundee will commence on the 28th of January with stalls located around campus in the New Teaching Block, The Tower and The Union to raise awareness of the endless opportunities for the student body.

The 4 day event will culminate at the Bonar Hall on 31st January with the Volunteers Fair. Students can stop by between 12pm and 3pm to chat with over 20 organisations, some of which will be seeking candidates for paid internships over summer. Amongst those in attendance are BUNAC with their worldwide working adventures, Camp Leaders who offer cultural teaching programmes to the United States, and the revolutionary placement organisation Project Scotland.

The aim of the Dundee University School Challenge is to sample the best candidates from each School in anticipation for submission of Dundee’s very own University Challenge Team.

If you think you have all the skills required (this includes a degree of knowledge, banter and wit) to win the local competition here at the University, then get three other players from your school and register your team. Each school must have a team of four students and all students must belong to the same school but not the same year.

For those who get involved, prizes will be awarded at each round of the competition and the Winning Team will potentially represent the University of Dundee at the University Challenge qualifying rounds.

Registration starts on the 16th of January 2008 and closes on the 31st of January 2008. To register, you must talk to your school secretary who can put you in touch with the appropriate School President.

Alternatively email Monique directly at vpec@dusa.co.uk.

Fancy yourself as the next Craig Murray?

(That’s the Dundee University Rector by the way). Ok so maybe that’s not the best selling point for the University Challenge Team but hey at least you have the chance of getting your face on the box.

Post Grad News For all those of you considering postgraduate study, or have already applied, there will be a Postgraduate Info Day on Wednesday 6 February held at the Bonar Hall on University of Dundee’s Main Campus. Between 11am and 4pm, you can speak to academic advisors, visit subject areas, get funding and application advice.

Campus tours are also available.

Advance booking is recommended, visit www.dundee.ac.uk/admissions/ postgraduate or email the department directly to postgradadmissions@ dundee.ac.uk. You can come without an appointment and speak to Postgraduate Co-ordinators from each of the subjects in the School of Humanities, as well as from other parts of the University. Don’t fret if you are unable to that day, Postgraduate Convenors in each subject in the School will be available to see you at other times.

Contact your own tutor or email the subject co-ordinator. To find details of your coordinator, visit the website of each subject (English, History, Politics, Philosophy, Languages and Archives).

By Prof Callum Brown c.g.brown@dundee.ac.uk Have you got the skills? ...nunchuck skills?

Vice President of Education and Careers, Monique Wagbara has more information and can be contacted on 01382 386 007.

Join the new DUSA Dream Team

386 007. Monique will be able to give you more details about registration. Places are limited and are on a first come first served basis. Good Luck!

Career Opportunity Coming Soon Have you considered a career in the police force? Becoming a Constable with the Tayside Police is serious business and so Tayside Police are giving you the opportunity to talk with them about joining the force. To find out what the benefits of becoming a Constable, contact Monique, Vice President for Education and Careers on vpec@dusa.co.uk or alternatively on 01382

info: > Current Affairs and News

News from the Student Representative Council (SRC) A round up of SRC news from the last meeting of 2007 including information on the possible closure of the DoJ photography department, guest speakers and the developments facing students at the New Teaching Block.

Before Christmas, the Student Representative Council met for the last time of 32007 to round up the affairs of D.U.S.A. The meeting was made somewhat more enlightening than usual with the presence of both the Tayside Community Contact Unit (formally the Special Branch) and University Secretary David Duncan.

Not often are Council members graced by guests to the SRC, it can even be hard to get all SRC members in attendance.

Nevertheless, clearly David Duncan still had something to say and wanted to appear to be addressing the student body via SRC. David Duncan threw some numbers at SRC with regards to the ongoing deliberations of the University Sustainability Review.

Voluntary redundancies were addressed and further actions questioned. The SRC and The Magdalen would encourage students, with a an ounce of intelligence and compassion for your educators jobs, to seek out the documents and address David Duncan himself with any of your questions regarding the financial future of the University, e-mail him on d.j.duncan@ dundee.ac.uk. Alternatively approach your President Milan Bogunovic for more information. Your School may be affected by further cuts and actions of the Review Committee.

Tayside Community Contact Unit were adamant that their appearance at SRC was not for positive for PR but instead to dispel any rumours on campus of alleged spying on certain affiliated societies. Council members raised questions regarding their presence at the Islamic Awareness Week held back in November. Both officers reassured the Council that this was only to improve and educate themselves in the Islamic Faith.

Item Seven on the Agenda became a point of concern for many members when they were informed of the possible closure of the DoJ Photography Department. Council learned that the department supervisor could no longer maintain his hours, many of which were his own free time. The University in turn did not see fit to continue these hours. However, President Milan has since informed Council via e-mail that the DoJ Photography Department will open remain but to a lesser extent. David Duncan passed on the relevant information to Milan who instructed Council that, “The University will be keeping the facility open for three hours per day. They are undergoing a series of building up their digitised photography capability and increasing additional space for these new facilities.�

In other news, School President of Education, Social Work and Comm., Lisa MacIver raised important points from a discussion held with the Dean of the School addressing facilities within the new teaching building. Students have been disappointed at the lack of seating

facilities for use between classes in the main foyer. At present, students are forced to sit on the stone floor in the reception area. Left-handed desks were also sought after by students using the teaching block to accommodate their needs. Lisa MacIver has stated that these discussions are still ongoing and hopes to make further progress.

The final item on the Agenda, Any Other Competent Business, was used to highlight the continuing need to promote the Student Representative Council. This was adjourned until a more significant number of Council members were present at SRC. Chair, Martin Nimmo, has been tasked with serving appropriate censures to those who have not submitted apologies in their absence.

Finally, the SRC extends the invitation to any student who wishes to attend any SRC meeting to observe the items for discussion.

(Perhaps an n ideal opportunity for those considering themselves as a candidate for the new Executive). LB

The State of the Union.... ...historically speaking.

by Conor McCrory The actress Jeanette MacDonald once said, “I’ve been told I have an Irish temper, I know I have Scottish thrift, and, like the English, I love a good show.”

The debate on Scottish independence has been mooted even before the Act of Union 1707, when it was suggested that Scotland should form a legislature known as the ‘Three Estates’. This was rejected by English negotiators and for the next threehundred years Scotland was to be directly ruled by Westminster. Scotland is unique in that it has its own hybrid legal system, network of schools, established churches and special governing arrangements. The Scottish Nationalist Party (SNP) based its recent election campaign on the platform that Scotland is ready to be self-sufficient following the recent discovery of oil reserves in the North Sea and the slogan “It’s Scotland’s Oil”. Renewable energy is another reason why the SNP believes Scotland is ready to break the Union.

Perhaps one should recount the Declaration of Arbroath in 1320, “…for, as long as but a hundred of us remain alive, never will we on any conditions be brought under English rule.”

One must understand that Scotland already has a degree of independence following the devolved Scottish Parliament (Pàrlamaid na h-Alba) via the referendum in 1997 and the enabling legislation in the Scotland Act 1998. The Parliament is responsible for criminal and civil law, policing, fire services, health, education, local government, housing, planning and economic development. However, it is the ruthless approach of the SNP that wishes to lead the people of Scotland down the garden path and fight for all-out independence, without careful consideration to the consequences of such a drastic measure. Consider the following questions: What would happen to relations between other EU Member States?

How would a defence policy be structured?

What effects would independence have on macroeconomic policies? How would immigration, drug pushing, trafficking or even broadcasting be controlled?

Of course there is the West Lothian question; why Scottish MSPs vote on English matters, while English MPs are forbidden to vote on Scottish matters. This concern was first advocated by Tim Dalyell of the Labour Party in 1977. Ireland had its Irish Question; Europe had the Eastern

Question - But as Lord Irvine has said, “the best answer to the question is to stop asking it!”

Now we arrive at the main event – the First Minister, Alex Salmond, the man responsible for splitting the country, a man who was a member of the notorious Socialist Republican Organisation (the 79 Group) and was suspended as a consequence by the SNP. Salmond is nothing but a demagogue; playing on the emotions of the people at a time when nationalism has been renewed. His recent letter to 189 leaders of the signatory nations to the nuclear non-proliferation treaty, asking for Scotland to have observer status at their meetings - blatantly contravenes the spirit of the legislation that set up the Scottish Parliament in the first place. How can the people of Scotland trust a man who is bypassing Parliamentary procedures and democratic conventions? Perhaps Mr Salmond could do with following the Latin motto salus populi suprema lex (the good of the people is the supreme law) yet I don’t suppose Salmond has much time for Latin when he is much too busy trying to balance an over-inflated Scottish budget!

The Battle for Planet Earth

by James Patterson

Islands are drowning in the Indian Ocean; the great glaciers of the Himalayas melt in the heat - and the fate of the living on Planet Earth lies on an ever-sharpening dagger’s edge. All hope lies in the human race, for as hitherto it is their greed alone which has thus brought our world to the brink, they alone hold the power to determine the course events henceforth…

Global Warming used to be a specialinterest issue, which only hippies and those well-off enough not to have any more pressing personal worries could afford to be concerned about. The greenhouse effect was just some theory about the ozone layer (or something) which could hardly take priority when there’s trouble at work, you’ve got three kids, the rent’s due and repayments on your car to keep up. This rise in global temperature would be stopped by scientists and/or the government before too much damage was done and meantime it would make those summer holidays at North Berwick a lot more pleasant. Today those same life pressures exist, as does a lot of similar public attitude. Unfortunately, the global warming situation, as portrayed by scientists across the world, has progressed and come to something of a head...

The scenario reads like the blurb of a fantasy novel, albeit bogged down by the details. Global temperatures are rising at an alarming rate due to high levels of carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases in the atmosphere, released by human activity such as burning fossil fuels and deforestation.

Since pre-industrial times, the average temperature has increased by 0.7 degrees celcius. Should this rise reach two degrees, devastating “runaway” global warming will ensue as certain barriers are overcome, such as the permafrost which traps methane (a very potent greenhouse gas) underground in huge Siberian peat bogs and the ice caps which cause some of the sun’s energy to be reflected, rather than absorbed. After the two degree threshold is breached, further warming will be impossible to avert and global temperatures will continue to rise past three degrees, four degrees, five degrees and beyond. An increase of this magnitude would ravage the planet’s ecosystem causing widespread water shortage, a global net food deficit, violent conflict over scarce resources, the spread of

tropical disease, the collapse of the world economy and death and misery on a scale never approached in any war, plague, famine or genocide the world has ever seen. Global warming is no longer for hippies and yuppies. It is a humanitarian issue, a health issue, a survival issue.

We have an ultimatum: Reduce the emission of greenhouse gas enough to prevent the temperature rising past the critical point or our planet will be massacred. The Intergovernmental Panel for Climate Change (IPCC), the leading scientific authority on the subject has set this reduction at of “50-85% below 1990 levels by 2050”. Various figures are quoted within this range. The British government’s proposed legislation requires a 60% cut by 2050, most environmental groups say 80% by 2050, and George Monbiot (a long time campaigner and expert) sets the crucial time limit a little closer: 60% by 2030.

What is clear is that changes will have to be made. Individual reductions in air

13 days of deliberations, the member states have agreed upon…a “roadmap” to reach another agreement in 2012. This preliminary agreement , accepted by the US only after they were roundly booed by the other delegates, does not include a binding absolute carbon dioxide reduction but merely states that “deep cuts in global emissions” are required – language far too vague to mean anything significant.

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I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo. “So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide.

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us. travel, driving, heating and powering will make a difference but these alone will not suffice in decreasing greenhouse gas emissions by the requisite amount. The world governments must set effective international limits and each country strive to meet these through measures such as regulating carbon-intense industry, revolutionising public transport and investing in carbon-free, renewable energy technologies.

At the time of writing, the UN Conference on Climate Change conference in Bali, Indonesia, has just concluded and, after

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Such an outcome at this late stage illustrates why the world cannot rely on its governments to pull their weight in tackling the great challenge by their own accord.

There are dark forces at work, powerful and influential, who would see any efforts to prevent global warming castrated and undermined until it is too late. These vested interests must be overcome by the collective strength of a worldwide citizens’ consensus on the severity and immediacy of global warming and constant public pressure mandating our elected representatives to do everything in their means to stop it in its tracks.

From 16th-24th February this year, a UKwide week of action on global warming, organised by People and Planet, will take place: Go Green Week. Please help make this event awesome by bringing your ideas and organisation skills along to People and Planet Society meetings (Tuesdays 7:30pm, Union meeting rooms) or by emailing peopleandplanet_dundee@yahoogroups. com

I DARE you to Give

By Katie Boog You may have heard of the DARE Society. We’re the crazy ones that wrestle in jam, hold endless ceilidhs, and paint shamrocks on your drunken faces on Paddy’s night. You might wonder what you’re giving your money towards, who we are and what it is we actually do.

Well, we’re a student run organisation who organise projects in developing countries to allow other students (like yourselves) to do something useful with their summer holidays, make a difference in other people’s lives and experience a whole different culture - all the cheapest way possible. Last summer we had projects in four different countries that covered a wide variety of social groups and activities. Some of the things we did included childcare in Guatemala, teaching in Tanzania and rehabilitation work with street kids in Romania. As well as summer work we also have a Christmas project to Romania each winter and a local project with Fairbridge, Dundee. This year we aim to send around 50 students on up to 8 summer projects in Africa, South America, Eastern Europe and Asia. We fundraise throughout the year so we can buy adequate supplies for the projects e.g. building or renovating equipment, school equipment, clothing and toiletries etc therefore students only need pay for their food, flights and accommodation and all the money raised goes directly to the project and the people who need it.

Being a part of DARE is more than just going away for the summer.

In fact, a lot of our members don’t go away but still play a vital role in the society. We need people to come to the meetings and give their opinions, their ideas and their support. We also need people to help with our events,

either by making posters, working at on the door or just dragging their friends along!

We have members that have been a part of DARE for years and visited many of our projects, and we also have new people joining us each week. And of course we welcome everyone whether you arrive with new ideas or a bit of spare time to help out with the latest event or to give an opinion on a new project idea.

If you are interested in being a part of DARE, check out our website www.dare-dundee. com or give us an e-mail (daredundee@ hotmail.com) and we’ll answer all your questions. Being part of a society (and of course DARE in particular!) is great fun. You meet so many like-minded people and have a fantastic time along the way. And if you do get the chance to travel with us, I thoroughly recommend it. It is literally a life-changing experience and you will be left with happy memories and friendships that will stay with you for eternity. You become immersed in a whole different culture, meet some amazing people and most importantly make a difference to the lives of those less fortunate. That, everybody, is what DARE is all about!

Meetings: Monday 5pm in T1 in the Tower.

Recruitment for summer projects: January/ February 2008. Keep an eye on Hermes for details of presentations and how to apply or e-mail us to receive the latest information.

1st March 2008: DARE 10 year anniversary ball. E-mail us for tickets and information.

From top: Park Project Making Friends Supplying equipment to school kids, Best Society 2006-07, Jam Wrestling

inbox:

Where’s Wally?

inbox: Your direct forum for airing your opinion, grievance or comment. Send your views to themagdalen@dusa.co.uk

Dear Editor, So this year, we decided to vote in a rector who was less celebrity-like than Lorraine Kelly. Why was this exactly? At least we were graced with Ms Kelly’s beautiful presence when it mattered and had something to look at during the dull speeches. Lorraine has a certain cheeky charm, Craig Murray apparently also likes a bit of cheeky charm but of the hand to ass variety. At the Rector’s Installation, Murray slated previous holders of the post even taking a dig at Ms Kelly. Now a term into the position, I ask the question on everyone’s lips, “Where’s Wally?”

I’d much rather see Craig Murray on campus being an ambassador for the students and “restoring the dignity…..” he once spoke of in his installation speech. I do not want to see him on Newsnight talking about his love of spanking or hearing rumours of the “price he’s had to pay” since leaving Uzbekistan with girlfriend in tow.

I invite this wally to get in touch and update us on developments as Rector to D.U.S.A. Paul, Politics Student.

General Etiquette Dear Editor With recent notices displaying a General Meeting to discuss the Institute of Sport and Exercise, I write into The Magdalen to highlight the conduct of such meetings. I assume that the Exec read this publication and would ask them in a polite and understanding matter to observe the by-laws of D.U.S.A especially in relation to such conduct of General Meetings. I would hope that the quorum will be met thus closing the doors at 6.30pm sharp. If such a situation occurs that there are insufficient numbers to meet the 75 members quorum, another meeting will be called and the advertising will be improved to raise

awareness of the General Meeting. Finally, I would hope that all members present will be instructed that to attend and not vote either way is in obstruction of the by-laws.

D.U.S.A Executive, now is the time to show the student body that all proper practices are in place and observed. In turn, the students will place their confidence in you.

By e-mail, address supplied.

Weight Loss results in Debt Gain Dear Editor, Lets say the average athletically minded student visits the Gym approximately 3 time per week to use our new facilities, add on membership to a club using the sports hall, oh plus the annual membership.

Total cost=Increased rate of heart disease!

Its too bloody expensive to get fit! Where is the sense in that? For the lucky few who have managed to find accommodation cheaper than that of Halls of Residence on campus, there is a few bob left to spend on life’s little pleasures. For many of us, that’s the Gym. Not forgetting that if you havent got an ISE membership and decide on a wee game of 5-a-side, each player will have to pay £5 to get in for an hour. Hardly the student friendly Institute we were looking for.

Disgruntled Mr Motivator

Note from Editor: Your comments, emails and letters spur on our writers to get to grips with issues concerning the student body. The whole idea of this publication is to create a magazine which is of full of current, interesting debates with the occasional gossip thrown in!

Reality Celebrities Personality before talent?

by Andrew Smith

As a full time cynic of all things reality, my initial reaction of complete unmitigated horror upon discovering Chris Crocker came as no surprise.

Who is Chris Crocker? To put it politely…a new found internet celebrity of nauseating proportions. Find out more at http://en.wikipedia. org/wiki/Chris_Crocker_%28Internet_ celebrity%29 I could actually feel myself becoming ‘stupider’ as I sat and listened to the whiny histrionics of a third rate actor who is also, unfortunately, a suave PR man. What stands out as so bad about this new internet phenomenon is not so much the content but rather the fact that it is possible to become an “internet celebrity”. What happens to those of us who have perfectly adequate personalities but decide not to vainly exploit ourselves? Is personality a talent?

If the very nature of celebrity is contrived and fake then the very nature of a reality celebrity is tragic, so where does that leave an internet celebrity? Previously You Tube has lead to fame and fortune for the rather hilarious Gary Brolsma from the Numa Numa lip-sync video (http://www. youtube.com/watch?v=60og9gwKh1o) and the poor, unfortunate Star Wars Kid. (http://www. youtube.com/watch?v=HPPj6viIBmU).

What makes these videos stand out is the fact they were never intended for public consumption, what they represent is a sense of reality.

Brolsma’s “sequel” video was not so hilarious. (http://www.newnuma.com/dvd/). Marx said that history repeats itself first time as a tragedy and second time as a farce. True to form, Brolsma has cynically bled the cash cow dry with the promise of a third outing. In a press release Brolsma said, “I heard from so many people asking when I would do another video. If people can watch this new video, enjoy it and get a laugh out of it, then I’m happy with that.” However reading further in to the press release we can find Brolsma’s true motivation. “The media attention was overwhelming and despite the immense popularity of the video, the Brolsma family never made a cent from Gary’s fame. Like many lowerincome American families, the Brolsma’s struggle to make ends meet.”

Of course while one can sympathise with the family’s financial problems it is also apparent that this is a cynical marketing exercise. One of my pet hates is when famous people do something saying it’s for the fans when in actual fact it is apparent to anyone with half a mind that the sole motivation is money. For example if Madonna

had donated her services to Live 8 out of a desire to help the poor and the needy then why did she insist on playing a new single?

What this contempt for general human beings shows is not just that Brolsma is perfectly happy to whore himself out as a clown but also that he won’t be the last to do so. Where there is money, we can guarantee there will be internet/ reality celebrities. Of course in this regard internet celebrities share a lot with reality TV contestants.

Narrative is important to the industry of reality TV. Think of the the emotional involvement in the facade of Shilpa Shetty’s redemption during the last season of Celebrity Big Brother, or the story of Pete’s struggle against the odds in BB7 which ended up seeing the launch of a book, a series of commercial interviews, the launch of a band, and what I would cynically suggest was a staged relationship with a fellow contestant.

My latest habit is to always ask who benefits from every turn in such affairs. The answer is usually Channel 4 or ITV who seem to reap dividends from these programmes. The term reality TV is actually an oxymoron, surely when something is made in a closed and controlled environment then it ceases to be reality? Surely as soon as someone speaks to a camera they are ceasing to be themselves?

The latest Hell’s Kitchen famously saw Jim Davidson and Brian from Big Brother fight it out for the cameras. ITV of course would have us believe that they put the contestants in the kitchen with good faith. Rubbish! Harmony is bad for viewing figures, so in putting together a blue comedian and a flamboyant gay presenter they did so knowing it had the potential to result in a fight of some sort, to say otherwise is to not only court gullibility but to insult yourself. The other ridiculous thing about this whole affair was that, in the process, it left me with the impression that the producers were in themselves quite homophobic. Davidson calling Brian a “shirt lifter” was not very pleasant, on the other hand if he did this outside it would be unlikely that a TV producer would intervene and remove Davidson. Was ITV under the homophobic impression that Brian couldn’t look after himself? Did this lead producers to alter the “reality” they had created and felt compelled to remove Davidson for bad behaviour… Just like real life?

Right: Emily suffered the rath of Big Brother in the aftermath of the Shilpa V Jade row (below).

To breifly hark back, Crocker is one of many “internet celebrities” and alongside people like Brolsma and fellow melodramatic star William Sledd (who has just scored a big money contract with NBC) represents a form of disposable, throw away, air headed celebrities. The common link between them all is an overwhelming lack of sincerity. The danger of this, is not the fact that they are popular but the fact that they represent such a strong and growing movement and that this distasteful assault on art has just begun.

As the nature of our icons gets more fickle and plastic I believe there will only be a further dumbing down of our artistic culture.

Recently, I listened to Allen Ginsberg and read a bit of Alasdair Gray and it struck me that in 5 years time Crocker, Sledd and others like them will almost certainly be better known and richer than both of these artists. If this possibility becomes a reality and narcissism wins the battle against integrity, then it will be the day art may as well be declared defunct.

Sesame Street:

Not suitable for children?

by Lauren Bennie

“Sesame Street is brought to you by the letter…R and the number…7.”

Recently I read an article in one of the Sunday supplements advertising freshly released pilot episodes of the once popular Sesame Street. Amazingly, and somewhat surprisingly, the article suggested that the new DVD was for adults only displaying the warning, “May not suit the needs of today’s preschool child.” Just like The Simpsons or Shaun the Sheep today, animation and cartoons of yesteryear often contained subtle adult humour, so this perhaps this fact in itself shouldnt really have been a revelation.

Perhaps I am naive to think that Sesame Street was nothing more than a slightly educational children’s programme on Channel 4. However the pessimistic among us have pointed out how utterly depressing the characters who resided on the Street actually were. For example, critics now say that the Cookie Monster had the capacity to encourage obesity amongst viewers with his constant gorging on American biscuit varieties. Imagine if the critics discovered that in the Cookie Monster had an alter-ego who loved to have a puff on his pipe. Sadly this was scrapped for the final cut being described as having been modelled on the wrong behaviour. As if an overweight puppet wasn’t enough.

Now consider miserable old Oscar the Grouch who could find no good in his day. (Lets face it though, staying put in a garbage metal bin during the heat of midday was never really going to help matters). In essence, Oscar was somewhat of a manic-depressive. The clue was always in his name really.

And so the attack continues with Big Bird.

Are we now to question the actions of our lanky yellow feather friend? Apparently so. Enveloping a child in feathers at crotch height is to be highly discouraged in today’s society. Could Mickey Mouse and friends soon be out of a job at Disneyland?

Before I reached school age, I began learning my numbers with Count Dracula-

a-a-a. These days, he would be described more akin to a fanged fairy than anything scary at all. Are we missing the point? What happened to that thing called innocence?

If children’s entertainment is anything to go by at present, the only comprehensible English that kids will learn before school is “again, again, again” from their four friends in the land where teletubbies live.

At least children exercised by dancing in the alleyways of Sesame Street. I can’t help but wonder if the creators of Teletubbies were secretly having a dig at the young telly addicts who might just be getting a little bit tubby as their television-watching quota increased.

With kids now raised in the digitally animated era, Sesame Street seems aged and grey with wobbly sets and seemingly misguided characters. For years we grew up unscathed. Until, suddenly, before we knew what was happening to us, Dick and Dom were thrown onto our Mono stage at last year’s Graduation Ball.

Good one guys…good one.

The so-called morbidly obese enducer a.k.a The Cookie Monster

Sort Yourself Out Mate!

This section brings you a little clippit of anything and everything. This month, we deliver some info about money matters from the Student Funding Unit and a motivitional soundbite from the Vice President of Education and Careers.

Manipulative Relationships

by Monique Wagbara When you enter any relationship, romantic, social, business or otherwise, be careful what you permit in the beginning because it’ll come to be expected. For example, if you have to buy someone’s friendship by letting them manipulate you, be prepared to keep paying. And don’t plan on changing them. Just think how difficult it is to change yourself - so what are your chances of changing somebody else? Decide now what you can live with later. And stop living like there’s no tomorrow - because tomorrow always comes! Solomon said, “Fear of man is a dangerous trap.” Relationships can’t thrive with one person calling all the shots while the other struggles for approval. Let people know up front that while you’d like their approval you can live without it if you have to. Respect others, and make it clear you expect the same in return.

Above all, never let emotion win out over wisdom, or drown out the voice of God in your life. When you’re insecure you can be drawn into wrong relationships. Security is a fundamental part of your identity as God’s child. Paul says you “are God’s masterpiece… created… anew in Christ” (Ephesians 2:10 NLT). God wants you free to be who you are. That’s why when you ask Him to guide your relationships, He’ll help you to form the right ones.

Q: I’ve returned to University after the Christmas vacation with no money saved as I couldn’t get a job.

Is there any financial assistance I can apply for?

A: In the first instance, you could apply to the University’s Discretional Funds. You will find more information about eligibility for these funds through our web pages http://www.dundee.ac.uk/ studentfunding/ . Application forms can be downloaded from the web pages or collected from Reception at Level 4, The Union.

We would also encourage you to speak with the Careers Service as they have an online Job Shop which you can gain access to at the following web address http://www.dundee.ac.uk/careers/jobshop/.

If you have any further concerns regarding your financial situation, you can speak with any of the staff at the Student Funding Unit which is located on Level 4, The Union.

Q: I have to travel from Montrose every day to University and this is costing me a lot of money. Is there any way I can claim back some money for this?

A: If you are in receipt of a means-tested element of a student loan from SAAS, you can reclaim a portion of your travel expenses to and from university. Please see their web pages at http://www. student-support-saas.gov.uk/student_support/travel_expenses.htm where you can get more information and download the necessary documentation which you will need to complete and send off to SAAS. If you are in desperate financial need, please see the staff at the Student Funding Unit, Level 4, The Union and they can provide you with information or an application form for the Discretional Funds.

Fashion Welcome to yet another instalment of your favourite Campus mag! Everyone at the fashion team hopes you all had a great Christmas and a fantastic New Year. I’m sure it all passed quickly and you’re ready to get stuck into this term now that you’ve all returned…

This month’s section sees Palak Bhatt and Laila Issa unleash their talent for this season’s eye make-up trends. We are also launching Project Betty in preparation for the graduation ball. (see overleaf ). Get those nominations in!

Andi J Michie Fashion Editor

Photography courtesy of : Jennifer Collins, Catrin Jeans and Nadia Rossi

Winter Wonders Three different looks for three different occasions, this winter’s make-up style has everything that you could ever hope to experiment with…

For your Eyes Only Elegance This season’s look for the sophisticated woman in you involves recreating the forties’ siren image.

Try hot red for the lips, while keeping the eyes simple and neutral. If red is not for you then try a matte pink lipstick which emphasises the skin tone and team that up with a few accessories which compliment your skin-tone. The aim of this look is to accentuate the lips and define the facial structure so it’s important not to over-do the application.

For all the nights-out you ever go to in winter, its vital to remember one thing...its all about the eyes this season.

Experimenting with colour can be great fun and this season is the perfect opportunity to try ideas such as mixing stunning blues with vivid pinks and striking black with dramatic violets. The lips should be kept matte pink or even nude as the focus should be entirely on the eyes.

Glamorous

Making the skin look natural and healthy is always an essential part of winter make-up. This season, we celebrate with soft browns, purples and greens to warm up the complexion, teamed with rosy cheeks and soft pink gloss. The idea is to keep the face looking fresh and glowing so as to highlight the radiance of the complexion.

Day Glow

The Good, The Bad and The Shrewd What’s good and what is just plain shrewd to wear....

By Andi Michie

PROJECT BETTY In preparation for the ever-looming and eagerly anticipated graduation ball, the fashion team invites The Magdalen readers to turn their attention to Project Betty. The search has begun to find a lackadaisical lecturer or a tatty tutor, perhaps even a poorly professor or a game Head of school, to be enrolled at the Style School of ‘Michie and Co.’ The team are looking for a worthy individual to be given a complete makeover.

In collaboration with Dundee retail outlets and the cosmetic creativity (you need only look at this month’s For Your Eyes Only glam make-up to see how skilled our girls are), the team hope to astound readers with their stylistic skills.

All that is required of you, the reader, is to send in nominations for your chosen recipient with a short explanation as to why they deserve it (or need it)! Better still, if you’re at crisis point with your own style status, nominate yourself!

To be in with a chance of this great opportunity, email your candidate’s details (male/female/young/old) to a.j.michie@ dundee.ac.uk or alternatively directly to The Magdalen’s mailbox at themagdalen@dusa. co.uk Get involved!

D.U..S.A Student Executive: A complete overhaul perhaps?

This new regular feature for The Magdalen over the coming month’s will bring the good and the shrewd of the fashion world to the forefront of the Dundee’s students mind. For this issue, we advise on suitable outfits for an informal night-in at a mate’s flat gathering with a few friends. Note: Just because the event is informal, it doesn’t mean you don’t need to look good!

Informal Friends Party:

FOR HER Your fav pair of Skinny Jeans (River Island £24.99) Your fav strappy top (£5 New Look) A Cashmere mix Jumper (£19.99+ Zara) And of Course you’re New Ugg Boots (Office £140)

FOR HIM Your Pair of Original Denim Jeans (Levi £60) Your polo neck T-shirt (Topman £16) And Your New Shoes/trainers (Burton £25)

Sir Alan Langlands: Possible Candidate?

Craig Murray: Looking worried at the prospect of a make-over.

Film Reviews > Films

DVD’s you should own!

To watch or not to watch? What films should you be spending your hard earned cash on:

by Lauren Bennie

Sicko (2007) Directed by Michael Moore

With several docu-film expose’s under his belt, Moore has once again delved into the mirking waters of US Government policy and actions of the medical companies.

Michael Moore reveals how such firms and the government have colluded to put profit before health.

The Golden Compass

Hitman

Age certification (PG-13)

Age certification (Not Yet Rated)

The idea of a movie about a fantasy children’s book may seem like old hat nowadays, with flops like Eragon and the recent Dark is Rising showing how abysmal these kind of films can really be. However with the release of The Golden Compass, movie-makers have shown audiences that “book-movies” are not just cheap, thrown together, money making schemes. This film is a rollercoaster of delight from start to finish. The landscapes are epic, the characters larger than life (armoured bears are officially the coolest things ever) and Daniel Craig IS Lord Asriel. Fans will be delighted and children will be mesmerised by this visually stunning and captivating piece of work. EB

Agent 47 has been trained from birth to kill.

He is the perfect assassin, almost machinelike, with pin-point accuracy and an aversion to any form of human conscience.

Unfortunately, during a political takeover 47 goes from hit-man to target and is hunted by both the Russian army and Interpol. Based on a game, the movie is an interesting conversion from console to silver screen. The atmosphere is as dark and menacing as humanly bearable and the tension throughout is marvellous. As far as action goes, you can expect killings by the morgue-load and 47’s slick form of “deletion” is strangely entertaining.

Overall, this film is worth a watch, with an interesting concept and a blinding execution (excuse the pun). EB

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According to his discoveries, 22 years of age is apparently too young for live saving treatment for one particular sufferer of cervical cancer. Thus illustrating how insurance companies do their utmost to avoid paying out. Surprisingly the UK system was hailed as a socialist paradise which rather undermines Moore’s arguement but nonetheless, Sicko remains focused on the issue. For the superfan, The Michael Moore Collection has also been released featuring more documentaries by the provocateur.

Love Music > Alternative artist reviews Palladium

Plastic Little

Palladium are set to be the next big thing to come out of the UK and if there is any justice then it will be this single that will cement their name in the minds of many a music fan. The band consists of four members; Peter (vocals, bass), Rufio (Keyboards), Fez (Guitar) and Rocky (drums).

Despite this being only their second single, they have already played alongside acts such as Amy Winehouse, Mika and The Thrills. High 5 is a track filled with relentless enthusiasm and has a rhythm so infectious, it will be impossible to get out of your head.

The band has received a fair amount of airplay in the past few months and it is not hard to see why. This song is in fact, so irresistible that you barely notice that it seems to be about stealing some other guy’s girlfriend, nice! GM

Philadelphia based musical ensemble Plastic Little take on urban music from a refreshing new point of view. I’m Not a Thug is a fun party-rap anthem that calls to mind old school hip-hop, reminiscent of the Sugarhill Gang and in modern terms Black Eyed Peas front-man Will-I-Am. The single contains three track; both the explicit and radio friendly versions of the song and also a fast paced remix. The band has now well over 7000 fans on MySpace alone in addition to receiving many casual listeners on the page every day. This is one to check out for sure! GM

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I’m Not A Thug

High 5

Palladium

Check out Myspacez of the month to discover a few good reasons to switch on to The Ideal Panic Plastic Little

> The soundtrack of your life

by Gavin McNee

Adam Patrick (DUSA Vice President of Services) Q. The first song you ever loved?

A. No idea but I was a Warren Zevon fan as a wee lad.

Probably Wearwolves of London- I remember singing that when I was still in nappies.

Q. First song you ever bought?

A. Proclaimers: Sunshine on Leith. Utter shit!

Q. Song that reminds you of Uni?

A. Jamelia: Superstar and Warren G: Regulate. Songs from my first year in Seabraes. We danced around the living room ruined to these songs.

Q. The world is coming to an end!

What is the last song you want to hear?

A. Tiesto: Pirates of the Carribean remix. Saw Tiesto in Edinburgh and this tune was phenomenal.

Q. Song of the moment?

Left -The Libertines

> Albums the world should own

A Cult Classic The Libertines – Up the Bracket The first edition of 2008 brings you the next definitive album to add to your music collection. This month, Graeme Thewliss reintroduces the craftmanship of The Libertines.

Love it or loathe it, Up the Bracket is undoubtedly one of the most important British albums of this century. The mid-nineties were something of a wasteland for guitar music in Britain in the aftermath of Brit-pop and a brief flirtation with Nu-Metal in the year 2000. However, in late 2001, the launch of both The Strokes record, Is This It?, and The Libertines album of 2002, Up the bracket, brought garage rock back to British consciousness. The Libertines first single, What a Waster was launched in June 2003 to a flurry of inactivity by radio stations. Due to the lyrical content of the song, it was mainly ignored by mainstream radio stations and yet, still managed to place 37th in the UK chart.

The single was a clear statement of intent and the relative success could be seen in further singles Up the Bracket and Time for Heroes reaching number 29 and 20 respectively. Following on from The Strokes and their low production values, Up the Bracket sounds like a rough demo in places. Both Pete and Carl’s voices break on notes and guitars sound muddy with no distinct attempt to rectify either.

The importance of Up the Bracket is particularly noticeable today as both The Libertines and The Strokes were at the forefront of re-popularising guitar music in the UK with Up the Bracket heavily influencing such artists as The Arctic Monkeys and The View as well as opening the door for many other guitar bands. EB

Add this to your collection!!

A. Ferry Corsten: Rock your body rock. Just an awesome tune.

> Myspacez of the month Ideal Panic

myspace.com/theidealpanic Since forming in early 2006, The Ideal Panic (TIP) have been honing their sound and developing their energetic and engaging live act with key Scottish shows that include supports with The Hazey Janes and The Harrisons (at ABC2 and King Tuts) and headline shows across Glasgow. Last year saw them play on the Dundee music scene to much praise. Acclaim for TIP comes in many forms and includes praise for from the News of the World, “An assured debut…a superb slice of anthemic indie rock. 4/5” Single of the Week. While XFM Scotland’s, Jim Gellatly described their earlier work as, “An amazing debut.”

With their sound described as The Smiths and The Police out for a pint whilst getting into a brawl with the Doves, this Scottish five-piece band is well on the way to further successes. The guys certainly have their connections and admirers of their anthems; with their debut single I See Too Much of Myself in You… being mastered by Mark Freegard from the Manic Street Preachers and collaboration with Allan Cuthbertson (The Fratellis, Dirty Pretty Things) on Precious Things. Recorded at their own PIT Studios, the follow up Precious Things brings more of the catchy melodies, jangly guitars and vibrant energy known of the band. A personal favourite is Guilty Pleasures featuring the odd cheeky wee line like, “Lets indulge in guilty pleasures, you can’t suppress it forever.” And why shouldn’t we eh? Go on…Indulge yourself in The Ideal Panic.

‘

Quite possibly the track to replace Snow Patrol’s Chasing Cars...

’

> Music Reviews

Dave Gahan Hourglass (album)

Sister Satelitte (Single)

Kid Acne Eddy Fresh (Single)

Gemma Banks. Remember the name, because this woman is slick, has great hair and a voice that only a true icon of rock and roll could have. Sister formed in London, playing in an old warehouse filled with squatters and artists alike. Their music is explosive, powerful and always leaves you wanting more. Satellite is the kind of song that you can listen to again and again, and still not have a clue why they’re singing a song about a satellite. Frankly, I couldn’t care less, this is a song that’s going to be in my head for quite some time and once you listen to it, you’ll most certainly feel the same. NC

“Took a super soaker to laser quest,” are only a few of the worst lyrics to ever surface in one song. Kid Acne is like Dizzee Rascal’s embarrassing wee brother, repeatedly telling us not to “f**k with Eddy Fresh.” Now I don’t know if Eddy Fresh is a person, a washing up powder or a cartoon character, however what I do know is that this track is one of the most annoying shambles of a song I’ve heard since the Crazy Frog. It’s a true shame because the backing track has a steady beat, great bass lines and an interesting use of synth’s. Kid Acne needs to grow up before he can he even think about making a mark on British music, let alone the brilliant hip-hop/grime scene it already has. NC

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Kano Feel Free (Single)

The Black Sheep Music Society Fly (Single)

David Ford I’m Alright Now (Single)

Dave Gahan is the lead singer from Depeche Mode, hitting the masses with his second solo album. Unlike his productions with The Mode, Hourglass is an adventure into the deeper and melancholy side of electronica. Although difficult to get into at first, the album is a grower, with tracks like Little Lie and Saw Something really standing out amongst some other dull minimalist vibe melodies. These traits leave the listener in a bored state, seeking more delivery from Gahan. In short, an album for fans. While some songs are excellent, there are no spectacular hits here. Prediction for 2008? Fans will soon find this album in Groucho’s for a bargain price of £1.99.

Feel Free is an intelligent, well-structured contribution to the world of hip-hop and would appeal to fans of Jurassic 5, Deltron 3030 and Ugly Duckling. It’s innovative, featuring a children’s choir from Kano’s old school and is the result of a collaboration with the legendary Damon Albarn. There is a good beat behind it and the words themselves have meaning. Kano isn’t your run-of-the-mill rapper, and you most likely wouldn’t hear him even whisper about his hoes or bling. But don’t worry, even if you fancy yourself as a bit of a 50 pence fan, this will appeal to you. Funky, soulful and intelligent? I’d tap that. NC

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Do you ever listen to a track and think, “This would be really good on the O.C when Seth and Summer break up” or “Did I hear this on Laguna beach?” No? Well Fly is a prime example of one of those, with lyrics about a man spreading his wings, flying around Venus, Mars AND Jupiter for the girl of his dreams. This Glaswegian trio are worth a listen to for the guitar-wankery alone, not to forget Ryan Milne’s butter-wouldn’t-melt voice. The Black Sheep Music Society is certain to gain a band of followers of the MTV Generation.

Well, I’m off to watch Laguna Beach to see what’s happening with Chase, Lauren and Stephen. (Yes lad’s, Lauren is the fit one.) NC

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When you are in No man’s land in the relationship stakes, David Ford will help you sort it out. His lyrical ability encapsulates the break-up experience. He has a skill of opening the senses, to reach out and say, “I’ve been there and you know what I’m Alright Now.” With verse describing nights of sublime self-destruction to the tune of 100 cigarettes and talk of losing your sense of direction, he is able to pull the listener straight into his plight. Nothing compares to his soft tone and strings ensemble mastered delicately off the back of Damien Rice. This little masterpiece has hope and “something to believe in.” Finally when you’re done dwelling, Ford invites you to “sing along when your heart has finished bleeding.”

Quite possibly the track to replace Snow Patrol’s Chasing Cars, not as a love song for crooners but for the rest of us looking for an open door. LB

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1st Place Gold goes to...

Dundee University Mens Rugby Club Silver: Boating Club

Taking one for the team pays off...

At the end of last term, D.U.S.A (as promised) dug deep(ish) and handed out £2500 to University sports clubs who had put their Loyalty Cards to good use. The Loyalty Cards can be used for all manner of things in The Union, from coffee to food and ‘refreshments’ on a night out. Staff swipe the member’s card after each purchase. Vice President of Services, Adam Patrick points out that, for a member of a sports team, the Loyalty Cards should become as important as carrying a student matriculation card.

Now for the mathematics! For every pound spent on the card, a point will be rewarded to the club that card represents. The points are then tallied up at any given point that Mr VPS deems fit and are calculated back into a percentage of the total money which is divided between the 44 clubs who are taking part. Hence, Bruce’s saying “Points make Prices!” Clearly, the more points a club has the higher percentage of the prize money they will receive!

D.U.S.A has committed to spending £6000 in total on sports teams this year. There is definite scope for larger rewards as Adam Patrick points out, “The data suggests that on average only 20% of the members of each club are using their cards, with only 4 clubs hitting over 40% usage during the allocated time.”

To be in the money, clubs should spend more time and money in their union, go on a recruiting drive to increase membership and carry their Loyalty Cards at all times.

Simple really!

Points and cash prizes for the clubs are illustrated in this fine table that the VPS himself collated. Congratulations to our 1st, 2nd and 3rd placed clubs as pictured above. AP + LB

Bronze: Men’s Football Club