My Body, My Wedding, My Way THERE’S A LOT OF J OY THAT COMES WITH BEING A BRIDE AND PL ANNING YOUR WEDDING . BU T FOR ME , THE J OURNE Y ALSO INVOLVED A RECKONING WITH M Y SELF- CONFIDENCE AND BODY IMAGE .
EVERGREEN PHOTO
By Taylor Whitten
Getting engaged was a wake-up call. I no longer recognized the person I saw in the mirror. When I worked up the courage to step on the scale tucked away in our closet, a number flashed on the screen I’d never seen before, and a whirlwind of emotions came over me. “What have I done? I try my hardest in every other part of my life, but why don’t I do the same for my health?” As my body changed in recent years, so did the way people treated me. Compliments turned to unwanted opinions, and I was learning to navigate life in a body that didn’t feel like my own. I knew something had to change, and the fast approach of my wedding was the kick start I needed. With the support of my fiancé, Tyler, who has never made me feel less than because of my body, I learned how to prioritize myself, set boundaries and say no. Around this time, I took the plunge and talked to my doctor about starting a GLP-1. When I thought about all the eyes on me on my wedding day, it wasn’t that I wanted to look like an airbrushed model. Rather, I simply wanted to inhabit a body where I felt comfortable and at home. I quieted the little voice inside my head who whispered the stigmas associated with weight loss medication. I knew there’d be judgments, and while I was still nervous, I felt empowered because I was taking back control of my life. I made the decision that was best for me. When I started to lose weight, I realized I had gotten so used to feeling like nothing ever fit me in the right places. I’d catch myself tugging on my clothes, uncomfortable and just wanting to disappear into the shadows. Tyler has always loved how I look. I wanted to experience that same love and acceptance for my body. I discovered that gaining weight had given me a unique perspective. I felt free. I hadn’t realized how much I relied
on compliments to shape my self-worth until they were gone. I stopped caring what people thought about me. It was heartbreaking to feel uncomfortable in my body, but I was, in many ways, my happiest. Throughout my weight loss journey, I learned to love myself for me, which carried over into wedding planning. Soon, I was open to broadening the scope of our day. We invited a few more guests than just immediate family and booked a venue instead of eloping at the courthouse. I wasn’t sick to my stomach thinking about how others would perceive me or how I would look in photos. This time, I didn’t let those confidence-crushing comments win. But there was one thing I still couldn’t shake: dress shopping. What books and films paint as a core bridal memory was keeping me up at night. So many thoughts swirled in my mind, “What if they have a limited selection of plus-size dresses? What if I immediately hate how every style looks on me? What if I leave more defeated?” I knew deep down that I wouldn’t give a single dress a fighting chance at a salon appointment. So to protect my peace of mind, I approached wedding dress shopping my own way. I said “yes” to the dress with the click of a mouse. Even more so, I’m grateful that I made the decision to say “yes” to a partner who’s been a steadying force amid my health journey. While everyone’s story looks different, for me, online wedding dress shopping and taking a GLP-1 were the outward steps I took to reinforce the inner confidence I have built. The prior version of myself who didn’t struggle with her weight wouldn’t recognize the self-assured woman I am today. I healed a negative relationship with my body, changed my lifestyle and rebuilt my confidence. The result? I was no longer itching to change the subject when talking about my wedding. I finally felt like a bride. On my wedding day, I zipped up my dress (the first and only one I ever tried on), fastened my earrings and clasped my shoes. Took a step back and a deep breath. I liked who I saw in the mirror. I felt beautiful inside and out—and none of that was dependent on my appearance. Tyler taught me how to love myself for me—and that’s the truest fairy tale of all. THE KNOT
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