The Knot Fall 2024

Celebrate in Style 45 RUNWAY LOOKS, MANIFESTING A WEDDING VIBE + EPIC AFTER-PARTIES EXCLUSIVE

REAL HOUSEWIVES OF MIAMI STAR (AND UNSTOPPABLE EVENT PRO) GUERDY ABRAIRA ON LIFE AND LASTING LOVE

FRO M AISLE

TO ISLE When you honeymoon at Sandals ® Resorts, you can do as much – or as little – as you’d like. Spend your days sailing across azure waters, exploring the rhythm of the island or soaking in rays around the resort.

Here, we make it easy for you to get closer to the Caribbean – and closer to each other.

SANDALS.COM | 1.877.SANDALS OR CALL YOUR TRAVEL ADVISOR Sandals® is a registered trademark. Unique Vacations, Inc. is an affiliate of Unique Travel Corp., the worldwide representative of Sandals Resorts. 8575/0524

CONTENTS

Let’s Celebrate!

2024

F E AT U R E S

98

PRIVATE EQUITY

26

A MATRIMONIAL MOSAIC We explore multiculturalism in modern weddings.

32

You’ve seen their airbrushed social media content. Here’s why the trad wife narrative can be damaging to marriages.

102

THE PURSUIT OF LIFE

A BEVVY OF OPTIONS Sober-curious couples and guests are upending how we imbibe at events.

38

… liberty and happiness.

Wedding planner and Real Housewife Guerdy Abraira opens up about love, her renewed health and her next act.

TO LOVE AND DISOBEY

122

Transform your vows by changing your vocab.

We show you how to plan your honeymoon around bucket-list getaways, from natural phenomena to sporting events.

88

DUSK ’TIL DAWN

THE BIG EVENT

Don’t let the revelry end with your reception.

We’ve got the after-party deets.

94

ON THE COVER

ROMANTICIZE YOUR MARRIAGE Here’s how to find magic in the mundane with your partner.

Photography byy Chrisean Rose; styling byy Rebecca Dennett; makeup eup and grooming by Daniela aniela Gozlan; manicure by Andrea J. Vieira; set design by Cristina Forestieri; produced duced on location by Select elect Services.

102

On Guerdy: Dress by Bronx and Banco; shoes by Larroudé; rings by Lady Grey; earrings by Christina Caruso.

On Russell: Jacket and pants

by Brooks Brothers; T-shirt

by Todd Snyder; shoes by Jimmy Choo.

THE KNOT

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CONTENTS

74

Let’s Celebrate!

2024

24

FA S H I O N & B E AU T Y

46

RUNWAY REPORT We break down the latest trends from Bridal Fashion Week.

A TOUCH OF CLASS It’s time to bring glamour back to wedding fashion.

32

STYLE & PLANNING

17

EDITORS’ PICKS Shop statement glassware, modern keepsakes and more.

54

58

THINK ON YOUR FEET Spice up your first dance with this illustrated guide.

82

ALWAYS A BRIDESMAID An editor reflects on the lessons she’s learned in support of her besties.

DON’T “SHOULD” ON YOURSELF

84

Our journaling exercise helps you pinpoint your wedding why.

…with our wedding in/out list.

HEAR US OUT

85

VENDOR TIPPING CHEAT SHEET Crunch the numbers with our cheat sheet.

86

WEDDING DIARIES Our columnist, a wedding planner, walks you through your vision.

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92

THE OTHER KIND OF WEDDING DATE We answer all your plus-one questions.

46 LOVE

60

MIAMI HEAT, COOL VIBE Tropical disco and elevated neutrals befit a chic multiday wedding.

68

THE CHAPEL OF LOVE A Los Angeles wedding brims with bright hues, Gucci and a surprise act.

74

RAVISHING RUBY An intimate wedding in the Italian countryside?

That’s amore.

IN THIS ISSUE 8

ED LETTER

10 DEAR LENNON 12 THE DOWNLOAD 44 THE SEASON’S INGREDIENT 128 WISE WORDS

TABLESCAPE: TERRI BASKIN PHOTOGRAPHY; GLASSWARE: GIEVES ANDERSON; ALL OTHER IMAGES COURTESY OF VENDORS

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A L L U R E B R I DA L S .C O M

E XECUTIVE E D ITO R

CRE ATIVE D IREC TO R

Lauren Kay

Nathalie Kirsheh

E D ITO RIAL O PE R ATI O N S MANAG E R

D E PUT Y E D ITO R

Meesha Diaz Haddad

Esther Lee

LIFE S T YLE S E NI O R E D ITO R , RE L ATI O N S HIP S & S E X E D ITO R , E NTE RTAINM E NT & CE LE B RIT Y A S S O CIATE E D ITO R A S S I S TANT E D ITO R

PL ANNIN G & S T YLE S E NI O R E D ITO R E D ITO RS

Jamie Cuccinelli Sarah Hanlon Emily Rumsey Alison Meehan

FA S HI O N & B E AUT Y

Hannah Nowack Cathryn Haight Samantha Iacia Chapelle Johnson

A S S O CIATE E D ITO R

S TR ATEGY, O PE R ATI O N S & S PECIAL PRO J EC T S D IREC TO R , D I G ITAL CO NTE NT S TR ATEGY D IREC TO R , MARK ETIN G & E D ITO RIAL O PE R ATI O N S S E NI O R AS S I G NM E NT S E D ITO R S E NI O R MANAG E R , CO M M E RCE CO NTE NT S TR ATEGY LIFE S T YLE CO NTE NT S TR ATEG I S T FA S HI O N CO NTE NT S TR ATEG I S T PL ANNIN G & S T YLE CO NTE NT S TR ATEG I S T A S S O CIATE CO M M E RCE E D ITO R D I G ITAL E D ITO RIAL PRO D U CE R A S S I S TANT D I G ITAL E D ITO RIAL PRO D U CE RS

S E NI O R E D ITO R S IZE IN CLU S IVIT Y & B E AUT Y E D ITO R A S S O CIATE FA S HI O N E D ITO R , M E N SWE AR A S S I S TANT FA S HI O N E D ITO R

VI S UAL S , PRO D U C TI O N & VID EO D E S I G NE R D I G ITAL D E S I G NE R PH OTO E D ITO R CO NTRIB UTIN G CO PY E D ITO R CO NTRIB UTIN G RE S E ARCH E D ITO R A S S O CIATE D IREC TO R , E D ITO RIAL VID EO E D ITO RIAL VID EO MANAG E R

MaryKate Callahan Samantha Langabeer Kim Forrest Emily Platt Emily Dumas Nicole Seligman Taylor Whitten Naoimh O’Hare Julie Le Blanc Christian Pruitt Doireann Mangan Nicole Duddy

S O CIAL M E D IA & TALE NT S E NI O R MANAG E R , S O CIAL M E D IA S O CIAL M E D IA MANAG E R S O CIAL M E D IA S PECIALI S T S

S E NI O R MANAG E R , INFLU E N CE RS INFLU E N CE R S PECIALI S T

Naomi Rougeau Lauren Whalley Wassum Tres Dean Sofia Deeb

Ashley Detmering Tiana Crispino Lauren Kill Rebecca Dalzell Ambrose Martos Ash Tulett Kelsey Theisen

G LO BAL CRE ATIVE

Mina Garagozlo Danielle Savoy Lucy Ferut Meghan Ho Alli Kennon Kerre Jo Lattanzio Heather Kon Kimberly Brown

S E NI O R D IREC TO R , HE AD O F G LO BAL CRE ATIVE CRE ATIVE D IREC TO R A S S O CIATE D IREC TO R , VID EO & PH OTO PRO D U C TI O N VID EO E D ITO R CRE ATIVE PH OTO PRO D U C TI O N MANAG E R

Jeffra Trumpower Rishi Magia Daniela Kelley McInerney Malu Frasson Nori Jessica Kane

G LO BAL MARK ETIN G CHIE F MARK ETIN G OFFICER VI CE PRE S ID E NT, G LO BAL CO N S U M E R & B 2 B MARK ETIN G HE AD O F G LO BAL E D ITO RIAL CO NTE NT S E NI O R D IREC TO R , CO M M U NI CATI O N S D IREC TO R B R AND S TR ATEGY & M E D IA , CO N S U M E R MARK ETIN G D IREC TO R , CO RP O R ATE CO M M U NI CATI O N S A S S O CIATE D IREC TO R , PU B LI C RE L ATI O N S A S S O CIATE D IREC TO R , INTEG R ATE D B R AND PL ANNIN G & ANALYS I S MANAG E R , INTEG R ATE D B R AND PL ANNIN G & ANALYS I S S PECIALI S T, PU B LI C RE L ATI O N S

Jenny Lewis, jlewis@theknotww.com Kiara Kempski, kkempski@theknotww.com Annie Lennon Carroll, acarroll@theknotww.com Melissa Bach, pr@theknotww.com Pamela Solis, psolis@theknotww.com Anni Jones Jennifer Myers Jesse Geiger Chelsea McArdle Kayla Spector

G LO BAL M E D IA S O LUTI O N S @ THE K N OT WO RLDWID E S E NI O R VI CE PRE S ID E NT, G LO BAL M E D IA S O LUTI O N S S E NI O R D IREC TO R , RE VE N U E O PE R ATI O N S & YIE LD A S S O CIATE D IREC TO R , RE VE N U E O PE R ATI O N S S E NI O R ANALYS T, RE VE N U E O PE R ATI O N S

Nicole Aste, naste@theknotww.com Dominique Walker, dwalker@theknotww.com Jenna Bruno, jbruno@theknotww.com Emilia Rolda, erolda@theknotww.com

VI CE PRE S ID E NT, AD SALE S B RIDAL FA S HI O N S E NI O R ACCO U NT D IREC TO R S E NI O R ACCO U NT D IREC TO R ACCO U NT D IREC TO RS , E A S T

Risa Aronson, raronson@theknotww.com Brett Olsen, bolsen@theknotww.com Tina LoRegio, tloregio@theknotww.com Cara Goldberg, cgoldberg@theknotww.com Debbie Konstadt, dkonstadt@theknotww.com Giavanna Cifelli, gcifelli@theknotww.com Karen Argow, kargow@theknotww.com Debbie Lucas, dlucas@theknotww.com Laura Adrian, ladrian@theknotww.com

ACCO U NT E XECUTIVE , E AS T ACCO U NT D IREC TO R , PACIFI C ACCO U NT E XECUTIVE , WE S T ACCO U NT D IREC TO R , M IDWE S T S E NI O R D IREC TO R , INTEG R ATE D MARK ETIN G A S S O CIATE D IREC TO R , SALE S D E VE LO PM E NT MARK ETIN G MANAG E RS , SALE S D E VE LO PM E NT MARK ETIN G A S S O CIATE MANAG E R , SALE S D E VE LO PM E NT MARK ETIN G A S S O CIATE D IREC TO R , CRE ATIVE S O LUTI O N S S E NI O R MANAG E R , B R AND E D CO NTE NT E D ITO R , B R AND E D CO NTE NT A S S O CIATE ART D IREC TO R AS SO CIATE G R APH I C D E S I G NE R S O CIAL M E D IA E D ITO R A S S O CIATE S O CIAL M E D IA E D ITO R S E NI O R D IREC TO R , ACCO U NT MANAG E M E NT MANAG E RS , ACCO U NT MANAG E M E NT S E NI O R ACCO U NT MANAG E RS ACCO U NT MANAG E RS

ACCO U NT MANAG E R A S S O CIATE ACCO U NT CO O RD INATO R

Priya Junnarkar Jessica Bendes Zoë Ferranti, Carly Kleinman Giovanna Rubino Elizabeth Roehrig Kate Traverson Sarah Fine Amanda Kocis Gallagher Anahí Garza-Runfola Nicole Smith Gabriela Maceira Nicole Vogel, nvogel@theknotww.com Jessica Van Alphen, jvanalphen@theknotww.com Morgan Fahey, mfahey@theknotww.com Elena Semenza, esemenza@theknotww.com Kaitlin Fitzgerald, kfitzgerald@theknotww.com Alaina Gosh, agosh@theknotww.com Emmy Harman, eharman@theknotww.com Daniela Lopez, danlopez@theknotww.com Lindsey Aloia, laloia@theknotww.com Melanie Hurley, mhurley@theknotww.com Sarah Lovejoy, slovejoy@theknotww.com Jordan Speranza, jsperanza@theknotww.com Holly Nowell, hnowell@theknotww.com

PU B LI S HE D BY XO G RO U P IN C .

2 Wisconsin Circle, 3rd Floor, Chevy Chase, MD 20815. TheKnot.com

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The Knot weddings magazine © 2024 XO Group Inc. All rights reserved. Reproduction, in whole or in part, is forbidden without written permission from the publisher.

The Knot, TheKnot.com and The Knot weddings magazine are trademarks of XO Group Inc. The Knot is not responsible for the return or loss of, or damage to, unsolicited materials. Those submitting manuscripts, photographs, artwork and other materials for consideration should not send originals, unless specifically requested to do so in writing by The Knot. Manuscripts, artwork and other materials must be accompanied by a self-addressed stamped envelope.

PLEASE NOTE The Knot and the materials and information it contains are not intended to and do not constitute specific legal, medical or financial advice, and should not be used as such. You should always consult professional advisors about your circumstances.

The information contained herein is not necessarily exhaustive, complete or up to date after the time of printing.

In regards to travel, local laws may restrict service availability to all.

Visit the Equality Index (equaldex.com/equality-index) for more information.

Left: Headpiece by Jennifer Behr; dress by Nardos.

Below: Earrings by Bronx and Banco.

BEAUTY TIP S Visit TheKnot.com/Guerdy for BTS of Russell and Guerdy Abraira on set in Miami Beach, Florida.

“Layer your makeup so it lasts longer: first primer, then concealer and different types of foundation.”

—Daniela Gozlan, Makeup Artist

The Knot on Set behind the cover

ABRAIRA: CHRISEAN ROSE; ALL OTHERS: PHOTOGRAPHED BY CREW

FA S H I O N P O V “Our vision was to make Guerdy feel powerful and confident, exuding opulence. It was a wonderful day with a great team, plus, a beautiful result!”

—Rebecca Dennett, Fashion Stylist

“GUERDY NAILED THE VISION WITH LITTLE DIRECTION.” —CHRISEAN ROSE

Photographer Chrisean Rose on the set energy: “It was like the first day of summer…a beginning.”

Clockwise from far left: Dennett, Rose, Abraira, Nathalie Kirsheh (creative director), Esther Lee (deputy editor), Tiana Crispino (editorial designer), Axi Mines (producer), Cristina Forestieri (set designer), Andrea Vieira (manicurist), Gozlan and Falak Khoja (visual assistant).

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FROM THE EDITOR

Party like it’s your wedding day.

In my opinion, one of the silver linings of the pandemic was the shift in how couples wed. If you wanted a small ceremony, you had one. If you wanted to rock red instead of white, you did it, no apologies. The lines blurred during that time of uncertainty, which resulted in some incredibly special unions. Years later, we’re still holding on to this ethos, so much so, that we’ve devoted this issue to honoring YOUR unique love story.

Want to nail down the why behind your wedding? We walk you through a journaling exercise to crystallize how to bring your day to life (p. 54). Thinking of fusing your cultures together? We have you covered (p. 26). In this issue, we also tapped Jove Meyer, wedding planner and current to-bewed, to help you curate your wedding vision (p. 86). Lastly, we’re rewriting the vow book and ditching the word “obey” (p. 38; you’re welcome). Celebrating your way is what we’re all about at The Knot.

Our cover star, event pro and cancer survivor Guerdy Abraira (p. 102), also went deep with us across various topics: Her years as a wedding planner, her health journey and what’s next. (Spoiler alert: She’s celebrating everything!)

Ready to party in style? Thought so.

Grab a chic set of toasting glasses (p. 24), don a pair of dancing shoes (p. 20) and don’t skimp on the accessories that will turn heads (p. 114).

The best advice I received before my wedding day (and I don’t need to tell you how much advice is directed at to-beweds) was simple: Be present. The day you’ve spent months planning, prepping and dreaming about goes by in the blink of an eye. Take a minute to soak up all those celebration vibes, memorize the faces of those gathered in your honor and enjoy every second.

— LAUREN KAY, EXECUTIVE EDITOR

Above: Guerdy Abraira knows how to celebrate—now more than ever.

Right: The lapel extra you didn’t know you needed.

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ABRAIRA: CHRISEAN ROSE; BROOCH: GIEVES ANDERSON

LETTER

U S

A N Y T H I N G

A S K

U S

A N Y T H I N G

A S K

U S

A N Y T H I N G

U S A S K

A N Y T H I N G

IN E VERY ISSUE , OUR ADVICE COLUMNIST WILL ANSWER YOUR

U S

Dear Lennon…

A S K

A N Y T H I N G

A S K

U S A S K A N Y T H I N G U S A S K A N Y T H I N G

A N Y T H I N G

A S K

A N Y T H I N G

A S K

U S

A N Y T H I N G

U S

U S

A S K

Got a question for Lennon?

Email advice@theknotww.com or slide into our DMs—we’ve got the answers.

A S K

A N Y T H I N G

First of all, congratulations on your pregnancy! You should only share your news when you’re ready, without feeling pressured to do so because of your friend’s wedding. It sounds like you’d want to be there for your friend on her wedding day if you’re able, so accept the bridesmaid position now and inform your friend about your pregnancy when you’re ready. Offer to help with prewedding events such as the shower and bachelorette, but let her know that there’s a possibility you may have to bow out as your due date approaches. Your friend should be excited for you and understand the situation.

U S

This is a great task to delegate to your parents or wedding party members. Ask them to reach out to guests who haven’t RSVP’d to hopefully get their responses. If they still don’t answer, you should assume they’re not attending—but it’s important to tell them that so they don’t show up at your wedding. If the RSVP deadline has passed, you can simply send a text saying, “We see you didn’t respond by the listed deadline, so we are going to mark you as not attending. We’ll miss you!” If the guests suddenly reappear and want to attend, you can tell them that you’ve made multiple attempts to reach them, and unfortunately, you’ve already given your vendors the final guest count. It may sound harsh, but you shouldn’t have to chase people down days before your wedding.

I just found out that I’m pregnant.

Getting pregnant has been a difficult journey for me and my partner, and we’ve decided not to tell anyone (not even our parents!) until I’m at least three months along. My close friend just got engaged and asked me to be a bridesmaid, but her wedding date is right around my due date. I’m not sure that I’ll be able to make the wedding, as much as I want to. Do I have to spill the beans about my pregnancy? Should I say no to being a bridesmaid and not share why? Help!

— Expectant Bridesmaid

A S K

Here’s the thing—you and you alone get to choose who walks you down the aisle, whether it’s a parent, grandparent, child, friend or even a pet. It’s also your choice whether you want to walk down the aisle solo or with your partner (or to even avoid walking altogether by simply taking your place at the altar when the ceremony begins). The next time your father mentions walking you down the aisle, just say, “I’ve decided to [have mom walk me down the aisle/walk down the aisle myself/whatever you’ve decided]. I’d appreciate not discussing it further.” If he protests, quickly end the conversation. It’s likely that he’ll sulk for a bit but eventually make his peace with it. It’s your wedding, after all.

Our RSVP deadline is quickly approaching, and a bunch of guests haven’t responded and show no signs of doing so anytime soon. I’ve asked a few people directly, and they say they’re not sure if they’re attending yet! How do I handle this? I need to give my venue and caterer my final guest count a few days after the RSVP deadline.

— Chasing Down Response Cards

My Friend Asked Me to be a Bridesmaid— and I’m Pregnant

A N Y T H I N G

After my parents’ divorce eight years ago, my dad and I have had a strained relationship. We talk or text every once in a while, but we are not close, and he hasn’t been present for many important moments in my life. Now that I’m engaged, my dad has made it clear that he wants to walk me down the aisle and “give me away”—but the thought of that makes me uncomfortable. He’s not contributing financially to the wedding (my fiancé and I are paying for it ourselves), nor is he involved with any of the planning. I’m worried he’ll have a fit if I tell him he can’t walk me down the aisle. What should I do?

—Frustrated With Dad

My Guests Won’t RSVP

U S

U S

I Don’t Want My Dad to Walk Me Down the Aisle

A S K

A N Y T H I N G

JUICIEST WEDDING PL ANNING QUESTIONS .

A S K

U S

A N Y T H I N G

AK A THE PLACE

The Download WHERE WE

SHAMELESSLY PROMOTE OUR OWN STUFF.

A tenniscore wedding styled in Wimbledon greens and purples.

(Serving Open-worthy Honey Deuces.)

Set Your

Vision ACE THE TENNISCORE AESTHE TIC WITH INSP O FROM THE KNOT VENDOR

63

%

of couples say personalization was one of the most important factors while planning, per our data.

Shower your loved ones with take-home gifts that cheekily nod to your theme.

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MARKE TPL ACE .

By Esther Lee Gen Z is game, set, match…at least when it comes to swoonworthy photography. For a generation focused on social-media-grade visuals to document its every experience, it’s no surprise that couples are turning to pop culture to source their wedding aesthetics (previously known as themes). Updated examples include “coastal grandmother,” “fairycore” and “old money” aesthetics. But the latest refreshing twist on a preppy party is the tenniscore theme. Trending due to a heightened interest in sports like pickleball and padel—as well as the movie Challengers starring Zendaya—only an amazing roster of pros can make a tenniscore wedding truly tasteful.

Here’s the playbook.

WILD DUNES

RESORT

Book a venue that’s renowned for your respective theme. (Read: clay courts or a beloved golf course.) Then hire a designer who can create your concept. Start with their reviews.

Flip to page 86 for more details.

Your guests got served…preppy pinks and grassy greens via this wedding invitation design with a matte finish. $200 for 100, TheKnot.com/Paper

GIFT SET: ONELOVE PHOTOGRAPHY; HONEY DEUCE, ZENDAYA: GETTY IMAGES; BACKDROP: SAMANTHA JAY; COURT: COURTESY OF WILD DUNES

(aesthetic)

Envision NICOLE BR AGHIN AND ARIANNA GRIJALBA , THE DU O BEHIND PL AN DESIGN E VENTS , RE VE AL HOW TO HOST AN “OLD MEE TS NE W PALM BE ACH ” SOIREE .

Q: How do I achieve the theme from the WeddingPro Experience?

A: We [along with the event planner, Cristi G Events] kept the event in black and white colors, thinking about the vintage Palm Beach era.

We wanted the gathering to have a strong aesthetic because of the guests (wedding professionals).

We had everyone dress in black and white, so the attendees would be part of our overall design and color palette. We also had vintage umbrellas and flowers that fit the monochromatic concept.

Q: Where do you start if you want to create an epic experience?

A: When we start the planning process with couples, we ask two

questions: “Who’s coming to this wedding?” And, “What are your priorities?” We mold and tailor our events to the attendees and the various personality types.

Q: Why should I hire a planner?

A: Part of being a good planner is forming connections between our clients and couples. Once we sign a couple and get their profile, our forte is understanding which vendors will be their perfect fit—the same way you’d pick the dress. We know pros have different personalities and styles. (For example, there might be a caterer who specializes in American fare over classic European dishes for foodies.)

Q: How do you maximize the design of an event with a minimal budget?

A: In this case, everybody was part of the decor. We created an experience that was true to the core identity of the event. We also set the tables in a serpentine layout that flowed to the ribbons and couches.

We used anemones and tied them all with bows. In fact, anything that we could put a bow on, we did, including the candles.

We went with anemones and inspo from Chanel’s camellia flowers. We wanted something very clean for the design.

—Plan Design Events

Venue: PGA National, Palm Beach, Florida | Planner: Cristi G Events | Designer: Plan Design Events | Photography: Jessica Vilchez Photo | Furniture Rental: Bubble Collection | Linens: House of Hough | Decor: Fuego Productionz | Stationery: Dogwood Blossom Stationery | Host: WeddingPro

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EVENT: JESSICA VILCHEZ; HEADSHOT COURTESY OF ANDREAS SELLINIDIS

like a pro

1. Keep your treasured cheese knives in one place with this acacia wood serving tray. Swivel cheeseboard set, $129, Wine Enthusiast 2. You’re the main characters, especially in this commemorative coffee-table book.

Layflat photo album, $209, Artifact Uprising 3. Toast to many milestones ahead (with or without alcohol) with these timeless glasses. Crystal flutes, $220 for 2, Waterford 4. Season openers, playoffs or finals: Take in your favorite sports with your lifelong plus-one.

Sporting event tickets, from $50, SPUR Experiences 5. How’s this for a bright idea? Adjust lighting from your phone.

LED smart bulbs, $45, Philips Hue 6. Get ingredients and recipes for eight meals delivered to your doorstep. Onemonth subscription, $245, HelloFresh.

1

2

Celebrate Good Times (Come On)

6

ANTICIPATE MORE LIFE MOMENTS AND MILESTONES WITH YOUR PARTNER BE YOND THE WEDDING .

3

ADD THESE CELEBR ATORY CROWD - PLE ASING GIF TS TO YOUR WISH LIST ON THE KNOT REGIS TRY.

ATHLETES: GETTY IMAGES; ALL OTHERS: COURTESY OF VENDORS

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4

We’re a super fun—not to mention knowledgeable—plus-one for your entire wedding journey. Our glossy will light up your mailbox with inspiration, planning tips, sage advice, editors’ shopping picks and more. After all, your wedding RSVPs deserve the company, don’t you think? BONUS: A subscription will save you more than 40 percent off what you’d pay at the newsstand, so that’s actually money in the bank for your honeymoon!

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WHAT WE’RE LOVING RIGHT NOW

Editors’ Picks Accessories

1

1. Salvador lapel pin, $329, MariaElena Headpieces.com

Put

2. Metal brooch, $165, WeekendMaxMara.com 3. Crystal feather pin, $180, KennethJayLane.com

a

4

3 2

Pin in

5

6 THE BROOCH HAS EMERGED 4. Finesse lapel pin, $289, MariaElena Headpieces.com 5. Alexander lapel pin, $201, MariaElena Headpieces.com

AS THE MUST-

7

It

8. William lapel pin, $181, MariaElenaHeadpieces.com

ACCESSORY OF THE YE AR . OUR PICKS ARE THE PERFECT BLEND OF

6. Charles lapel pin, $315, MariaElena Headpieces.com 7. Harcourt gold-plated brooch, $400, Baccarat.com

HAVE WEDDING

SOME THING OLD AND NE W.

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Photography by Gieves Anderson

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Accessories

SHOP

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1. Elwood lapel pin, $284, MariaElenaHeadpieces.com 2. Dali lapel pin, $298, MariaElenaHeadpieces.com 3. Greta pin, $445, Ben-Amun.com 4. Francis lapel pin, $287, MariaElenaHeadpieces.com 5. Safety pin brooch, $90, KennethJayLane.com 6. Winston lapel pin, $201, MariaElenaHeadpieces. com 7. Nelson lapel pin, $315, MariaElenaHeadpieces.com 8. Beckham lapel pin, $201, MariaElenaHeadpieces.com 9. Monogram lapel pin, $371, MariaElenaHeadpieces.com

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Footwear

Get o

1. Kilim loafers, $288, ArtemisDesignCo.com 2. Memphis slip-ons, $1,495, PaulStuart.com 3. I Do slippers, $650, StubbsandWootton.com

SHOP

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oot dF oo

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FANCY YOU RSELF A ST Y LECONSCIOUS GROOM? WHEN IT COMES TO YOU R WEDDING DAY FOOT WE AR , THINK BE YOND BASIC BL ACK .

ALL IMAGES PROVIDED BY DESIGNERS

4. Mariocc loafers, $995, ManoloBlahnik.com 5. Foxley slippers, $850, JimmyChoo.com 6. Jordaan loafers, $1,590, Gucci.com 7. Raffia loafers, $198, OcelotMarket.com 8. Dandelion Spikes loafers, $1,395, ChristianLouboutin.com 9. Timeless loafers, $1,100, Dior.com

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quire as much maintenance, you can try touching it up yourself with minimal products. Everyone can use pomade.

Grooming 1. Small double-zip toiletry bag, $115, Leatherology.com 2. After-shave balm, $44, Le Labo, Nordstrom.com 3. Conditioning beard balm, $18, ScotchPorter.com 4. Daily moisturizing sunscreen, $32, JaxonLane.com 5. Clay matte pomade, $23, Reuzel.com

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Q: What treatments should grooms book in advance to have glowing day-of skin?

A: Don’t try new products too close to your wedding day. Instead, give yourself several weeks in case you have any reaction. If you’re considering a facial, consult with a professional who can assess your skin care needs.

ALL PRODUCTS AND HEADSHOT COURTESY OF VENDORS

What skin care products are a must-have for grooms?

The bare minimum is a cleanser, moisturizer and SPF. I also recommend facial hair maintenance products. It’s most important to have a consistent skin care routine.

When it comes to getting wedding-ready, finding the perfect tux is just one piece of the puzzle. As the groom, you’ll also want to take your title literally and, well... get groomed. Robert-Jan Rietveld, grooming expert and co-owner of styling and hair care company Reuzel has the tips to get you down the aisle.

How have men’s attitudes toward cosmetics changed?

Men are paying more attention to their appearance than ever.

For grooms looking to enhance their features with makeup, seek out products that include calming ingredients such as niacinamide and hyaluronic acid.

How can a groom determine what hairstyle will look best for his wedding day?

Some trial and error might be involved, especially if you’re trying a new hairstyle. Test styles out ahead of time and speak with your barber about your vision.

irritation with products (like Reuzel Clean & Fresh Shave Butter) to ensure a smooth shave, or make an appointment with a professional barber.

What are your best tips for nail care?

A manicure with a clear polish a few days before the wedding is always a safe bet.

How do you avoid razor burn?

Wash your face with a gentle cleanser, then hold a warm compress onto the areas you’ll be shaving to soften and prep the skin. Use a new razor and shave in the direction that your hairs naturally grow, using short strokes and avoiding too much pressure. Then, use a cool compress to close the pores and apply a soothing aftershave.

Why is it important for grooms to put thought into wedding day grooming?

When you look your best, you feel confident. You don’t want anything to overshadow the joyful feelings of your wedding day. The more effort you put in prior to the wedding day, the less work you’ll have to do the day of.

Who does the groom’s hair on the day of the wedding?

If you have longer hair and require more styling products and tools, hire a professional on-site at your venue. With shorter hair that doesn’t re-

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Is it a good idea to shave on the wedding day?

If you want a clean-shaven look, do it the morning of your wedding. Prevent redness and

Best Face Forward E VEN THE SCRU FFIEST OF GROOMS CAN CLE AN U P WELL .

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By Sofia Deeb

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Beauty 1. Embellished vanity case, $198, StoneyCloverLane.com

7. Soft heathered socks, $18, BarefootDreams.com

2. Plumping collagen serum, $46, TheOutset.com

8. Barrierstrengthening face cream, $54, Beekman1802.com

3. Oil makeup remover, $37, Clinique, Sephora.com 4. Prewash hair treatment oil, $38, Fable & Mane, Sephora.com

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The Morning After

9. Long-sleeve bamboo pajama set, $195, CozyEarth.com

9 10. Hydration powder electrolyte supplement, $15, Liquid I.V., Target.com

5. Rejuvenating eye masks, $15, Patchology, Ulta.com

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6. Moisturizing heel balm, $21, Olive & June, Target.com

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CONGR ATS , YOU ’ RE MARRIED!

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IT ’S TIME FOR A FRESH STAR T, AND THAT BEGINS WITH SOME P OST WEDDING SELF- CARE .

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After a day filled with love, laughter and perhaps a party that went a little too late, you may wake up the morning after your nuptials feeling slightly less than your best.

Take it from me, a newlywed beauty editor who emerged with traces of mascara under her eyes and a few straggling bobby pins in place thanks to the extra-hold hair spray.

“With most weddings, the excitement, stress, alcohol and long days leading up to the event can wreak havoc on your skin,” says Kristin Gunn, a celebrity aesthetician and

owner of Halcyon Skincare and Beaux Medspa in Austin, Texas. “Add the fact that you are likely sleepdeprived, and you have a perfect recipe for irritated and lackluster skin.”

Postwedding R&R is a must. The key to feeling renewed is focusing on products that pamper and restore. “The days following your wedding require moisturizers and hydrating serums,” says Gunn. “Try to embrace a more natural look by simplifying your routine, letting your skin rest and drinking tons of water.”

Taking time for self-care and rejuvenation will help you feel like your best self again.

ALL PRODUCTS COURTESY OF VENDORS

By Lauren Whalley Wassum

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TEMPERATURE-REGULATING TECH MEETS PLENTY OF STRETCH.

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Registry 4 3

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1. Measuring marks are hidden directly in this glass, making it easy to pour spirits and mix your own cocktails.

Highball glass, $45 for 2, Riedel.com 2. Even a simple “cheers!” sounds better in French. When not in use, this hand-painted wineglass becomes a statement piece atop your glassware shelf. À La Vôtre wineglass, $105, Marin Montagut, BergdorfGoodman.com

8 CELEBR ATE ALL OF THE B IG (AND LIT TLE ) MOMENTS WITH STATEMENT GL ASSWARE THAT ’S WOR TH A SECOND LOOK .

By Samantha Iacia Photography by Gieves Anderson

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3. Serve everything from whiskey to salted margaritas in a timeless faceted rocks glass.

Rocks glass, $6, Hatch, CrateAndBarrel.com 4. Inspired by antique marbled paper, the colorful swirls on this stemless wineglass are mythical and artful.

Puro marbled stemless wineglass, $38, Juliska.com 5. You’ll never forget to add a garnish again. This handblown glass has built-in faux citrus slices that turn the most basic sips into fancy cocktails.

Apéritif gobelet, $85 for 2, MaisonBalzac.com 6. Swap a standard water tumbler for this rose-colored glass in a trendy bubble shape.

Havana tumbler, $48 for 4, SohoHome.com 7. A long stem and fluted bowl give this martini glass an elegant shape, with a citrine color that packs a subtle punch. Quinn citrine martini glass, $125 for 2, Caskata.com 8. Pearl-like beads adorn the stem of this flower-inspired coupe, adding the daintiest hint of detail. Cosmo coupe, $150 for 4, SophieLouJacobsen.com

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PHOTOMARIN CREDIT MONTAGUT, MAISON BALZAC, SOHO HOME: PROVIDED BY VENDOR

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Wedding

Keepsakes

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CUP SMASH: CONRHOD ZONIO PHOTOGRAPHY; MEZUZAH: COURTESY OF ERICA SHIPLEY; ALL OTHERS: COURTESY OF VENDORS

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To Have and to Hold

1. Transform your promises into commemorative decor.

Laser-cut vow art, $275, HereAfter.la 2. Archive everything from RSVP cards to cocktail napkins. Memento box, $65, Savor.us 3. Artist Erika Hitchcock spends over 50 hours perfecting each mini gown replica that you can display on your mantel. Porcelain dress sculpture, from $800, StoneWearCeramics.com 4. Have a knack for crafts?

Recreate your own bouquet. DIY bouquet embroidery, $15, AndOtherAdventures.co 5. Another option for your blooms? Press ’em into wall art. Pressed flower art, $495 for a 16-by-20-inch frame, PressedFloral.com

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Pros & Mementos

LOOKING FOR A ME ANINGFU L WAY TO

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REMEMBER YOU R WEDDING? A GU EST BOOK ISN ’ T YOU R ONLY OP TION . HERE ARE OU R PICKS FOR A U NIQU E MEMENTO.

By Hannah Nowack

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You can purchase many wedding keepsakes from retailers after the celebration is over. But if you want something even more customized, book one of these vendors for the wedding to create cherished treasures.

Audio guest book Video guest book Live painter Custom caricaturist Live poet

6. Custom Mezuzah With Cup Smash Glass Erica Shipley, global community manager at The Knot, participated in the Jewish tradition of breaking a glass at the end of her and her partner John Graeber’s wedding ceremony.

She was inspired to include it because her parents had done so at their wedding: “I loved the idea of honoring their love through this tradition.” After the wedding, Shipley creatively transformed the resulting shards into a mezuzah, a token some Jewish couples affix to the doorpost of their home. From $85, CraftsandClayPlay, Etsy.com THE KNOT

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M U LT I C U LT U R A L I S M

A Matrimonial Mosaic WE E XPLORE MODERN MULTICULTUR ALISM IN WEDDINGS WITH INSIGHTS FROM COUPLES AND VENDORS .

In many ways, the world as a tossed salad metaphor makes more sense than the oft-used melting pot analogy. Why? Because the blending of society shouldn’t diminish or erase the beautiful nuances that make cultures unique. What do those mixed greens look like when it comes to weddings and love?

Experts and couples share their honest thoughts on blending traditions in contemporary weddings.

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COUPLES FROM LEFT: LISA BLUME PHOTOGRAPHY, UNIQUE LAPIN PHOTOGRAPHY, STETTEN WILSON. FLOWERS: GETTY IMAGES

Edited by Hannah Nowack Photo Collages by Tiana Crispino

A little background on the bride & groom.

Whether you choose an intimate barefoot wedding by the water’s edge, or a full-glam black-tie affair, the highlight of your special day will be, well, the twilight of your special day. The only thing that can eclipse the beauty of true love, is a sunset sky over Islamorada in The Florida Keys. fla-keys.com/islamorada 1.800.322.5397

Not a Monolith Weddings are windows into cultures and couples. Pros weigh in on why weaving deep-rooted traditions together in multicultural ceremonies fosters empathy and understanding.

By Cathryn Haight While every wedding marks a new beginning, the ways in which the journey to the altar starts are distinct and symbolic.

Acknowledging the complexities in different wedding traditions, and how they can beautifully merge, is the best way to honor a multicultural union, whether you’re a marrier or a guest. We can learn about one another from how we gather, celebrate and unite in love.

Even when surrounded by modern practices and personalized elements, traditions never exist in a vacuum. Wedding customs today stem from a variety of heritages and histories. For many couples, selecting which traditions to weave into their weddings is deeply personal—a testament to how distinct cultures have shaped their lives and love. “Through photographing celebrations across different cultural backgrounds, I’ve learned many expressions of love,” says Virginia-based photographer Terri Baskin. She recently photographed an interracial couple and witnessed the Slavic bread and salt tradition, which nodded to the bride’s heritage. Baskin explains that the bread represents the parents’ wish that the couple’s needs be met, and the salt signifies that tough times may come. “But during those times, they’ll become stronger as a couple.

I’ve seen several cultural traditions honor the beauty of marriage, but this was special.”

Some couples might showcase their individuality by incorporating a long-held tradition into their weddings, while others dig deep into their own personal narratives for inspiration. One such couple resonated with Diana Lin, founder and creative director of Cóllectives by Diana in New York City.

“Both grew up in or had connections to postcolonial cultures, Singapore and Japan,” says Lin. Multicultural weddings always require nuance, but especially when the nuptials are between two people with fraught or complex heritages.

But Lin and the couple leaned into the aspects of their cultures that they identified with most to honor their Japanese and Chinese backgrounds. The ceremony highlighted the bride’s story, incorporating serene Zen and modern Japanese influences, while the reception evoked the lively energy of the night markets found in the groom’s home country of Singapore and across Asia. “Their story is a reminder of how love can bring together diverse cultural backgrounds into a harmonious celebration of unity,” says Lin.

Incorporating enduring wedding customs can feel like a homecoming for to-be-weds who feel societal pressure to suppress their heritage. Christina Kim Mathis, cofounder of Seattle Korean Weddings, says nuptials are especially transformative for her clients. Many second-generation children use the occasion to shine a light on their Korean identity.

“Many of us spent most of our lives trying to assimilate,” says Kim Mathis, who founded her company alongside her mother, Chong, who emigrated to the Seattle area from Daegu, South Korea, in 1982. “We were often embarrassed when we went to school with our very Korean lunches—but now we want to embrace and share our culture.” She also confesses she regrets holding her paebaek ceremony behind closed doors at her own wedding nine years ago (though these rituals are traditionally for close family only). Today, she sees these events shared with the entire guest list. “I would say that 95 percent of the paebaek ceremonies I help with are held in front of all guests, most of whom have never experienced such a ceremony,” says Kim Mathis. “At every ceremony, people from other cultures and those of Korean heritage come to me and say how wonderful it was to see this done openly. And how beautiful and fun it is to see the culture celebrated.”

Whether you incorporate one tradition or five into your special day, weddings are a powerful impetus to share your heritage, if you choose. And doing so won’t just benefit you as a couple, but be a boon to all involved.

“Guests attending the wedding aren’t being asked to change anything about their faith, culture or traditions, but become a witness to the couple’s [heritage],” says Baskin. “Weddings can ultimately create a bridge across cultures and foster mutual respect between individuals or groups.”

Weddings are windows to cultural understanding, heritage appreciation and, maybe most importantly, inclusivity. You’ll find variations in traditions even within small subsets of a culture. Daniela VillaRamos and Karla Villar, wedding officiants and the sister duo behind Once Upon a Vow, based in Boston and New York City, are both proud Peruvian Americans.

VillaRamos says that, like many other Latin American countries, Peru has numerous Catholic rituals. But smaller provinces have a complex range of wedding practices. There are shaman-led

Weddings can

ultimately create a bridge across cultures and

foster mutual

respect between individuals or

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FLOWERS: GETTY IMAGES

groups.

ceremonies that honor the region’s Indigenous heritage, calling upon Pacha Mama (Mother Earth) for blessings, and Andean unions that include a fasting ritual with a chumpi (wool belt).

“While there may be similarities across Latin American countries [given the dominance of Catholicism and Christianity], each has its own history, ties to indigenous roots and language,” says VillaRamos. “We all have different connections to our Latinidad, so it’s important not to assume or impose our idea of what folks would like to include in their wedding.”

In the same vein, VillaRamos emphasizes that it’s essential to understand a wedding tradition in the context of a culture and its greater meaning to the couple—including how they might have adapted it to suit their beliefs. “We’re fortunate to have the opportunity to celebrate many multicultural partnerships,” says VillaRamos. “Through it all, it’s important for us to include the personal ties and significance of each tradition to one or both partners. Often they want to modernize these rituals to suit their progressive values of teamwork and growth.”

Villar says that this sentiment is especially resonant for multicultural and multifaith queer couples: “I’ve married Hindu and Christian queer couples for whom religion is core to their identity. Since many people use religion to continuously discriminate against us, I find that it’s a profoundly emotional experience to invoke God’s love for us all and intentionally include my fellow queer community members.”

If you’re wondering how to incorporate a piece of your or your partner’s heritage into your nuptials, Kim Mathis says to chat with older family members or friends. Their seasoned perspectives will give you a deeper understanding of traditions and how to pass them down. “Within East Asian cultures, there are a lot of similarities between the celebration styles, but there are also a lot of differences,” she says. Kim Mathis adds that it can be confusing for couples to parse the particulars of what a Korean wedding entails, especially because the meaning of each tradition is usually passed down by word of mouth. During her own research she found that “not a lot of information was available in English.

I needed to ask my parents or grandparents about the cultural significance.”

Though we live in an age when we’re encouraged to reflect on our complex identities, society still mostly views weddings through a Eurocentric lens. This doesn’t do them justice. “As the years tick by, more people are becoming a beautiful blend of ethnicities,” says VillaRamos. “Ceremonial rituals that highlight one’s culture during the wedding become an enlightening experience that invites others to broaden their perspectives.”

Weddings aren’t just about two people saying “I do.” They’re poignant celebrations of merging families and continuing traditions that help dismantle stereotyping. While love is ubiquitous, every couple leaves a legacy that’s all their own.

“By embracing the diversity and richness of cultural customs and practices in weddings worldwide, we foster understanding, appreciation and respect for the myriad ways love is celebrated across cultures,” says Lin. “Ultimately, weddings are reminders of the universal values of love, unity and joy that bind us as human beings, transcending cultural boundaries and enriching our collective human experience.”

Tips for a Fusion-Forward Fete

By Chapelle Johnson Hosting a multicultural wedding can be challenging, but not impossible. To guide you, trusted fusion wedding expert Kim DeBose, lead planner and founder of Curated By Kim Weddings and Events in New Haven, Connecticut, shares top-notch planning tips everyone can use.

HAVE THE BUDGET TALK ASAP Over more than seven years planning multicultural weddings, DeBose has noticed that the budget is often the first unexpected trial for couples. Many to-be-weds who are marrying into a new culture “can’t understand the inflated budget” compared to what they expected. People forget some cultures have numerous ceremonies over a long period, which adds up to more dollar signs. “You should discuss your budget with key stakeholders and a planner to get a realistic idea about what you’ll spend based on your vision and circumstances,” DeBose adds.

HIRE CULTURALLY PROFICIENT PROS “Work with professional wedding vendors experienced with your culture,” advises DeBose. “They need to have stamina and be able to integrate themselves in what’s happening.”

She also notes that you need vendors who will be receptive to feedback. As such, it’s crucial to partner with a planner and officiant who know the ins and outs of your and your future spouse’s cultures so they can help you weave important rituals and your love story into the wedding.

EDUCATE YOUR PARTNER AND THEIR FAMILY Explain to loved ones from both sides of the aisle what’s expected of them for the wedding, to prevent unnecessary confusion and drama. “Ensure they understand each step in the process. Together you can choose which customs you want to opt in or out of,” DeBose says.

DON’T FORGET TO INCORPORATE YOUR GUESTS For couples hosting a wedding with traditions unfamiliar to most guests, DeBose strongly suggests including descriptive signs or programs. “I’ve had clients provide a ceremony program so guests can see the steps and background of the customs,” she notes. This extra detail helps your loved ones grasp what’s going on and have more respect for the cultures on display.

BE PATIENT As with all weddings, planning is a marathon, not a sprint.

“You’ll need to take breaks as you go,” DeBose says. As a final piece of advice, she emphasizes that each event is its own affair, so take it one step at a time. As long as you’re receptive to your loved ones’ suggestions and help (while still ensuring your wants and needs are met), you’re on the right path to pulling off a beautiful fusion celebration.

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Traditions Reimagined THREE RE AL COUPLES OPEN UP ABOU T HOW THE Y BLENDED CULTURES IN THEIR WEDDING TO HONOR THEIR HERITAGE .

Rosalee and Soe are both Asian American immigrants; Rosalee is from the Philippines and Soe from Myanmar. After settling in the United States when they were young, the duo met during a college study abroad trip to Singapore. “Soe and I bonded through our shared first-generation experiences. We spent years seeking that balance to maintain our cultural heritage while living in modern America,” says Rosalee. For their New York City wedding, they wanted to blend and honor elements from the four cultures that are part of their relationship: American, Filipino, Burmese and Singaporean.

Their wedding ceremony included the Filipino cord and veil tradition, in addition to the wearing of jasmine garlands, which is part of Burmese culture. However, much of the structure of the wedding reflected Western culture.

Rosalee explains, “There were many cultural traditions we chose to forgo. As much as we are proud of our Asian heritage, we also strongly identify with modern American culture and wanted our wedding to reflect that perspective.”

“Our wedding was also the first time our parents and extended family met. It was important to share different aspects of our culture with each other’s family. Both sets of parents were first-generation immigrants who moved to the

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United States with minimal resources,” says Rosalee. “In our speech, we thanked our parents for their journey to fulfill the American dream and asked them to see our wedding as a product of their hard work and sacrifices.”

Rosalee and Soe prioritized hiring a caterer with expertise in Southeast Asian cooking. “It wasn’t easy finding a company that specializes in that cuisine, especially one owned by a Burmese woman,” recalls

Rosalee. “Saffron 59 was not originally on our venue’s preferred vendor list, but their team made an exception for our wedding.” Highlights from the meal included laphet thoke, fermented tea-leaf rice balls common in Myanmar, and lechon, a slow-roasted pork dish that’s a staple in the Philippines. For dessert, the couple paid homage to their fateful meeting in Singapore with pandan-cream-flavored wedding cake.

THIS PAGE: UNIQUE LAPIN PHOTOGRAPHY. OPPOSITE PAGE FROM TOP: STETTEN WILSON, LISA BLUME PHOTOGRAPHY.

Rosalee + Soe

Haleh + Adam For their wedding in California, Haleh and Adam thoughtfully meshed their Baha’i, Persian, Jewish and Protestant heritages. They recall that doing so didn’t feel like “we were breaking traditions, but as if we were creating new ones.”

The ceremony was mainly Baha’i with elements of Adam’s Protestant and Jewish background. “The Baha’i faith is naturally inclusive and believes in the oneness of religion and mankind, so it was easy to incorporate our families’ traditions,” Haleh says. “A Baha’i wed-

ding is a simple ceremony with a 10-word vow exchange. The couple is free to embellish, so we had prayers and readings.”

A close friend emceed and explained each part to guests.

The couple also included a candle-lighting ceremony that Adam’s parents had at their wedding before ending with the Jewish glass breaking.

A tea station (a special request from Haleh’s mom) was a key way that they celebrated Haleh’s Persian heritage. “My mom found the most beautiful way to display the tea with an array of traditional desserts and fruits,” Haleh says. “Everyone absolutely loved it.”

Karen + Jordan

Karen and Jordan’s wedding in Washington, DC, incorporated all their different cultures and backgrounds. “There was a mix of American, Christian, Jewish, Guyanese, Afro-Guyanese, Indo-Guyanese and Indigenous traditions throughout,” the couple says. “By getting married, we are committing to building a home together, which incorporates pieces of both of us.” As such, the couple prioritized multiculturalism to mark “the beginning of our life together and who we are as a couple.”

At their interfaith ceremony, they “chose the traditions that had the most meaning to us and tried to blend them into a cohesive ceremony,” says Karen. It included the Jewish seven blessings, a New Testament reading and the exchange of malas (flower garlands) to honor Indo-Guyanese culture.

The couple’s far-reaching inspirations extended to their favors. As a nod to AfroGuyanese culture, they gave each attendee a mini black cake, which is a type of rum cake traditional to Caribbean weddings. “It was soaked in rum for several months and was a huge hit,” says the couple.

Karen and Jordan were just as thoughtful about the traditions they skipped. “There are a couple that we chose not to include, partly because some of the ‘traditional’ customs are geared toward heterosexual couples,” notes Karen. “Some traditions we (and our rabbi) adapted to be more inclusive, such as changing the language in our ketubah to be less gendered.” Ultimately, it was important to them that “all of our traditions blended together the way we want them to fuse as we build a home together.”

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FRUIT, FLOWERS: GETTY IMAGES; ALL PRODUCTS: COURTESY OF VENDORS

W E L L- B E I N G

SINCE WHEN DID “P OP THE BU BBLY ” ME AN ALCOHOL ONLY ? A NE W COHOR T OF SOBER- CU RIOUS COU PLES AND GU ESTS ARE SLOWLY U PENDING THE MUST- DRINK MENTALIT Y AT WEDDINGS . (AF TER ALL , WHO SAID ZERO PROOF WAS ZERO FU N?)

By Esther Lee

At a garden wedding several years ago, I discovered that the entire catering team was on pins and needles after an unfortunate incident the weekend prior: Another couple’s reception ended with a groomsman in handcuffs. The reason? A standby of American culture: a drunken brawl. While it sounds like something out of a movie (like that Bridesmaids scene when Kristen Wiig’s character pulls the curtain back on business class, inebriated), wedding celebrations and alcoholic libations are often perceived to be the perfect pairing in pop culture—and IRL. The unintended loss of control at weddings may lead to belligerence, secondhand embarrassment, blackouts or deep regrets. While toasting with bubbles is a common addition to a proposal, bachelorette kickoff or wedding reception toast, The Knot Editors are asking ourselves lately: Does alcohol have to be the default option? Sometimes, it feels as though our society has become too dependent on a booze-fueled party.

Let’s back up: There’s nothing wrong with alcohol in the right settings. Certainly, it’s a fun addition to the dance floor when “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” blares, and wine pairings are a thoughtful flourish to wedding tasting menus. (Don’t get us started on the custom cocktail.) All are personalized aspects of wedding planning that speak to a couple’s story. However, we’re also here to break the stigma of zero-proof libations.

Much like checking off a gluten-free or vegan option on an RSVP card, what if couples catered to their sober or sober-curious loved ones with a nonalcoholic choice?

Brianda Gonzalez, the founder and CEO of nonalcoholic retail shop and e-commerce platform The New Bar, plans to do exactly this for all guests at her fall 2024 nuptials in upstate New York. “There really is a world in which you can have a phenomenal party without alcohol present,” says Gonzalez, who’s also executed partnerships with typically booze-filled concert events like Coachella and Stagecoach. “Incorporating nonalcoholic drinks into your celebration even extends and improves people’s ability to celebrate with you. It also helps couples stress a little bit less about their guests, their behavior and their well-being throughout the weekend.”

In fact, Gen Z is slowly upending the drinking mentality. A 2018 Berenberg Research report found that members of Gen Z are drinking 20 percent less than their millennial predecessors, who imbibe less than Gen Xers and baby boomers. Health is often a deciding factor: The World Health Organization released a statement in 2023 saying that there is no such thing as a “safe” amount of alcohol consumption. Also influencing the decline is that alternative options—including drinks infused with adaptogens like lion’s mane, as well as alcohol-free spirits like zero-proof tequila—are widely accepted by a generation that places a premium on inclusivity. In fact, the NA beverage market has doubled, exceeding $400 million since 2020.

While that hardly makes a dent in America’s $300 billion overall alcoholic beverage market, perhaps our society agrees that celebrations deserve more than the blurry and boozy evening so often associated with bach parties or wedding receptions. “Weddings are a great opportunity to make amazing memories, to create a bond and to reinforce the community around you,” Gonzalez agrees. “Nonalcoholic options allow couples to leave something a bit more positive—with the people they love most.”

After all, there’s power in presence. Fully participating in the flurry of conversations you’ll have throughout your wedding day and recording the bliss emanating from your partner’s face…that’s 100 percent proof that a celebration should be one to remember.

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nostalgic notes RE ADY TO CRE ATE YOUR OWN CUSTOM DRINK? START WITH THIS E ASY-TO - MAKE AND DELICIOUS MOCK TAIL KNOWN AS

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Ingredients:

Directions:

1 Tbl. grenadine Olipop Vintage Cola (approximately ⅔ can) 3 to 5 Maraschino cherries

1 Combine grenadine and soda in a glass.

2 Add ice, then Maraschino cherries.

3 Stir and pour into a tumbler.

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FRUIT: GETTY IMAGES; PRODUCT: COURTESY OF VENDOR

THE “ROY ROGERS REMIX .”

SAY “YES” TO EUREKA SPRINGS. Where love has no limits.

1. A Sparkling Delight Three choices from Hiyo pack a mouthwatering punch.

Variety pack, $45 for 12, DrinkHiyo.com

1 2. Pre-Batched Perfection I first ordered this mocktail at a Manhattan hotel…and requested several more that night. Phony Negroni, $7, St. Agrestis, TheNewBar.com 3. Double Duty Gen Z approves of these delicious, fiber-packed prebiotic sodas.

Tropical punch soda pack, $36 for 12, DrinkOlipop.com 4. Pleasant Pairings This dry white wine from Austria enhances just about any chicken or fish entrée. Grüner Weiss, $32, NullWines.com

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NA & NBD

Stock up the pantry.

Alert your mixologist.

Taste-test our favorite zero-proof wines, canned drinks and pre-batched mixes.

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5. Yes Way… Serve a midsummer frosé (frozen rosé) with this option…sans the hangover. Non-alcoholic rosé, $25, DrinkJoyus.com 6. Apéritif Amore Made of botanical extracts, this option is a beautiful addition to any bar cart. Original apéritif, $38, DrinkGhia.com

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8. Sparkling Refreshments Add an effervescent touch to any mocktail with these all-natural flavors. (We like the yuzu.)

Sparkling water variety pack, $35 for 12, DrinkMoshi.com 9. Let’s Toast Your guests will clink their glasses more than once when they taste this zero-proof sparkling wine. Blanc de Blancs, $30, Prima Pavé, TheNewBar.com

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FRUIT: GETTY IMAGES; ALL PRODUCTS: COURTESY OF VENDORS

7. Master the Mocktail A consummate host? Then you should learn how to make worldclass NA beverages from this book.

How to Make the Best Mocktail at Home, $25, WaterDrop.com

my signature cocktail will be a mocktail A SOBER- CURIOUS TO - BE-WED ON WHY YOU SHOULD GIVE NONALCOHOLIC OP TIONS A (FIGUR ATIVE ) SHOT.

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By Hilary Sheinbaum

At my cousin’s bachelorette party a number of years ago, a group of twentysomethings (myself included) started the weekend on a Friday afternoon by sharing fishbowl-sized cocktails at a hotel in Manhattan’s Meatpacking District. The evening progressed to other locations in the neighborhood, including a beer garden and a colorful Candyland-like restaurant that served large, sugary alcoholic drinks in goblets. Dinner that night involved multiple cocktails, as did the bar we went to after. Even though I didn’t drink at every stop on the booze-filled bach tour, I was unwell by midnight. (Read: “taking a rest” by tipsily laying on a train platform while resting my head on another attendee’s overnight bag.) The remainder of the weekend included the beach and bars on Long Island—and no more drinks for yours truly. It was a celebratory few days overall (no sarcasm), but I wasn’t exactly thrilled by my performance on day one. (I was embarrassed, exhausted, dehydrated and not feeling my physical best.) My hangxiety lingered throughout the weekend, and the memory of my platform slumber remains to this day.

Fast forward to the present. While I’m not 100 percent sober, I certainly don’t imbibe the way I did in the past. Every year, I participate in Dry January. I’ve also adopted a sober-curious approach to life that has inevitably led me to consume less alcohol. For me, there’s no raging on the weekends—or during birthdays and holidays. On average, I may have one glass of wine each month in social settings.

My live-in fiancé drinks, as do most of my friends, on a semi-regular basis. To which I say, “You do you…You know where I stand,” and they respect it. Frankly, I don’t need to imbibe to have a good time. I still hang out with my friends—in bars or elsewhere—and

have a blast. As my priorities (and tastes) changed over the past few years, so has the general public’s. Gen Z especially has taken note of the same alcohol-related talking points and observed the benefits of giving nonalcoholic (NA) beverages a figurative shot. Lately, there are more NA options at bars, restaurants and hotels—and even grocery stores—than ever before. I can order a zero-proof cocktail while I’m out or bring my own bevs to friends’ private get-togethers (and frequently do).

The upside to my choices is that I’m in tune with my body. In the hours that follow a night out or a celebratory weekend, I’m not hungover, nor am I riddled with boozeenabled anxiety. In my honest opinion, this is a superpower for couples planning their weddings or making big life decisions. If I need a day on my couch, so be it—but it’s not because I’m tired from the evening prior.

When my fiancé and I got engaged in December, people kindly gifted us bottles of champagne in celebration of this monumental next step. For me, it was a reminder that drinking alcohol has always been a part of wedding-related events. In fact, I’ve abstained from alcohol at some of my friends’ weddings—and felt more present and clearheaded in the process. So the question has dawned on me: What would our wedding day look like if I chose to be a dry bride? And what would my bachelorette party entail as a dry bride-to-be?

While thinking of our wedding, we’ve talked through venue options, including wineries, restaurants and concert halls. While we haven’t written off those types of venues, we have asked ourselves a few key questions related to the reception, helping us narrow down the choices. I suppose my list of NA questions to venues and caterers goes

beyond the standard batch of queries, like capacity, open dates and parking options— but realistically, each couple has personal queries about wedding venues. I’m hoping future sober-curious couples will have more options, without having to ask, negotiate or spend extra cash.

1 Could bartenders make mocktails for guests, and me?

2 Does the venue or catering service have NA spirits, wines or beers available?

3 Would venues allow me to bring nonalcoholic sparkling wine in for toasts?

What’s more is that I know my bachelorette party will look different than those I’ve been to. While I’ve gone “dry tripping” (traveling without booze, that is) a ton—I’ve never been the center of attention of a group trip, especially one that is typically co-hosted by alcohol. On the other hand, my fiancé decided way in advance that Miami would be his bachelor party destination of choice (read: pool parties, late dinners with a club vibe and golfing with adult drinks). Mine, on the other hand, will have less of a focus on booze, which is why I’ve landed on two locales that are known to offer more than just rooftop parties fueled by alcohol.

I’ll likely head to Scottsdale, Arizona, for hiking, spa treatments and sunshine, or Costa Rica for beach yoga, tropical vibes and ocean views. Regardless of where we go, I know the itinerary will reflect my current lifestyle and things I love: being active, the outdoors and relaxing with the people I love the most. If my friends want to imbibe during my bachelorette party, no judgment here. Thankfully, they feel the same way about what’s in my glass.

After all, weddings are about celebrating love and loved ones for who they are, right?

Hilary Sheinbaum is a journalist, the founder of GoingDry.co and the author of Going Dry: A Practical Guide to Drinking Less and Living More.

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MODERN VOWS

to love and disobey

CHANGE YOUR VOCAB. MAKE AN IMPACT.

By Chapelle Johnson Photo Collages by Tiana Crispino

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To put it lightly, some consider reality television the least educational or insightful media, but what’s great about it (when it’s not completely scripted) is its ability to act as a (slightly exaggerated) mirror of society. For example, on 90 Day Fiancé, a show about American citizens and their international partners marrying (or not) before the person’s visa expires, conversations about culture, race and language come to the fore. In one episode, a bride is visibly caught off guard by the

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creation, not everyone was okay with declaring themselves subservient. That’s why the “love, cherish and obey” wedding vows were changed in the 1920s, likely due to the Women’s Suffrage movement, which urged couples and religious authorities to get rid of “obey.” The Episcopal Church voted to remove the word “obey” from the bride’s section of wedding vows in 1928. “Today, the term is no longer widely used, but it’s still present in some religious ceremonies,” LaBuwi says.

So remember, just because you’ve heard the phrase on TV or at a loved one’s wedding doesn’t mean you have to include it. (That’s right—you can cherish your partner without obeying them.) “None of the engaged couples I work with have requested adding the word ‘obey’ to their wedding ceremony.

I always ask folks what they don’t want in their ceremony, and it’s often any language that indicates a power dynamic, one partner being submissive to the other or overly gendered wording,” says Tirzah Stein, an officiant, wedding coach and owner of NearlyWed Coaching in Denver.

“In my experience, couples want their weddings to be anything but basic, overly formal or outdated,” says LaBuwi. “I help couples create a super-personalized ceremony that celebrates the essence of their relationship and honors who they are. In the end, they get a one-of-a-kind ceremony that lets their love story, values, intentions and dreams shine—without any of the ‘ick’ you might find in ceremonies of the past.”

In short, sharing sweet nothings about your future spouse in front of your friends and family, or in private, is no small feat. This moment can, and should, be personal. Don’t be afraid to show your appreciation and love for them in a way that feels right for your relationship.

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“to obey” part of her vows. “Obey what and obey who?” she asks the officiant and her soon-to-be husband, before she says it through clenched teeth.

There are plenty of beautiful and heartwarming wedding traditions in the world, but also some antiquated ones.

(Ahem, we’re looking at you, garter toss.) But before going into why people should stop incorporating “to obey,” let’s dive into its origin and history to understand how to revamp it for modern times.

Michelle LaBuwi, a professional wedding ceremony consultant and officiant of Maine-based Swoon Union, shares that the use of “obey” is centuries old. “The vow was rooted in biblical readings (Ephesians 5:21-24, to be specific) and historical records indicate that starting in the 1500s, the Church of England usually offered couples a choice: They could vow to ‘love and cherish’ one another or the groom could promise to ‘love, cherish and worship,’ while the bride could vow to ‘love, cherish and obey.’”

The text from Ephesians reads: “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” From this, the classic vow was born, which commonly goes as: “I, [bride’s name], take thee, [groom’s name], to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish and to obey, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.”

Even though “obey” was the norm at the time of the vow’s

How to Write Feminist Vows Like a Pro DITCH “OBE Y ” AND STEP INTO THE NE W MILLENNIUM WITH THESE TIPS .

LEAVE ALL OLD -FAS HION ED LANGUAGE AT THE D O OR

“‘Obey’ sends the message that one person in the relationship is submissive to the other. For some, this has a religious connection, and that may be something they believe in, which is fine. I just know I wouldn’t be the right officiant for them. I believe that marriage is the commitment of two people entering into an equal lifelong partnership, it’s not that one has more leadership, control and power than the other,” Stein says.

SPE AK YOUR MIN D

Beyond “obey,” there are many other traditional vow phrases that people might be uncomfortable with. For example, you might not want to end with this wording for the Church of England: “till death us do part, according to God’s holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow.” Instead, think about what message you want to present and the best ways you can express your values. Even if you both want your vows to be a surprise, addressing any uneasiness you might have will help you feel more comfortable on your wedding day. (Don’t forget to agree on how silly or serious your vows should be.)

KEE P YOUR PROMISES RE ALISTIC

Taking the famous saying out of your marriage pledge doesn’t mean you have to replace it with something equally earnest. Reflect on what goals you want to achieve and aspects you want to uphold during your marriage. Whether that’s ensuring you’re an active listener even when you’re tired or watching your partner’s favorite movie with them multiple times a year, be as authentic as possible. The love and devotion you have for your other half will shine through.

FE EL FRE E TO RE MIX TH E OR IGINAL

Your wedding vows should be natural to you and your partner, not something you feel obligated to say because of tradition. Take out the gendered language and edit your words to be memorable and special. If you like how the classic wedding vows sound without “obey,” try this version instead: “I, [your name], take you, [partner’s name], to be my [husband or wife]. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health and to love and cherish you for as long as I live.”

HIRE AN OFFIC IANT W HO A LIGNS W ITH YOUR NEED S

Not only do you need to be on the same page as your partner, but it’s crucial to be compatible with your officiant too. When you have your first meeting, talk to them about what you want, and take notes. “I help marriers put intentional time and thought into the words they choose, the vows they speak and what elements they incorporate into their ceremony. A ceremony can look so many different ways because no two relationships are the same. It’s an expression of a couple’s one-of-a-kind, unique and beautiful commitment and love. That should be the heartbeat of any ceremony,” Stein says.

FEMINIST VOW EXAMPLES FOR THE MODERN COUPLE Writing feminist wedding vows isn’t more difficult than writing traditional ones. Look at these contemporary alternatives below, some created

by LaBuwi, for inspiration.

Today, I, [your name], promise to listen to you, and learn from you, encourage and inspire you, and always support you.

I promise to accept, love, honor and cherish you for the [man/ woman/person] you are today and the [man/ woman/person] you have yet to become.

[Your partner’s name], I promise to respect and celebrate our differences, validate your feelings and affirm your experiences with empathy and understanding.

I vow to always respect you, support your dreams and be there for you during times of strife.

[Your partner’s name], I pledge to keep you as a priority in everything I do and to love you more than you can imagine.

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That’s a THE SEASON’S INGREDIENT

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Wrap!

What is it about unfurling buttery soft ribbon and tearing apart thick wrapping paper? The act of unwrapping gifts triggers a sensation known as “emotional engagement”—a psychological response and thrill for what’s to follow. Elevate the anticipatory experience of present opening with our gifting tips.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY JOSEPHINE SCHIELE PROP STYLING BY VICTORIA PETRO-CONROY

Luxe Wrapping Paper There’s something extra satisfying about opening a gift wrapped in highend paper. Personalize any present by varying color, design motifs, letters, patterns and, especially, paper quality.

Organza Options Make a statement with an organza flower, the pièce de résistance of the package.

Tissue Paper Tear Pad your gift with layers of recyclable tissue paper to enhance the unwrapping experience.

Psst: It’s what’s on the inside that counts!

Handwritten Love Notes A key and often overlooked part of gift giving is a personal note. Include a thoughtful message to show you care.

Sumptuous Satin Textural ribbons and bows don’t only appear on fashion runways and at weddings (just ask Jennifer Behr). A silky ribbon adds a posh and buttoned-up element to any present.

Bonus: A Gift Tag For an extra-attentive touch, add their name.

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Future Perfect R U N WAY R E P O R T

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IF NE W YORK’S RECENT BRIDAL FASHION WEEK IS ANY INDICATION (AND WHO ARE WE KIDDING? IT ALWAYS IS), TO - BE-WEDS IN SE ARCH OF THE PERFECT DRESS HAVE PLENT Y TO LOOK FORWARD TO, AND THE KNOT TE AM CAP TURED

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IT ALL .

By Naomi Rougeau

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1. Jenny Yoo 2. Justin Alexander 3. House of Savin 4. Nardos 5. Ines Di Santo 6. Nardos 7. Anne Barge

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COURTESY OF DESIGNERS

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The much buzzedabout London designer Richard Quinn crossed the pond, bringing along his fall 2024 ready-to-wear collection, which includes countless bridal-appropriate evening dresses.

IN FULL BLOOM Flowers remain a perennial favorite as far as bridal trends go. Even tonal, white embellishments can make a bold statement, adding texture and depth to otherwise simple silhouettes. Nardos leaned into florals in a bold way, embroidering a white strapless number (with a very on-trend drop waist) with fuchsia foxgloves, Queen Anne’s lace and other greenery sprouting from the hemline.

Adding to the artistry of it all, House of Savin chose to paint its florals directly onto the dresses, as did Justin Alexander, albeit with edgy spray paint.

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Justin Alexander’s Justin Warshaw can always be relied upon for a memorable presentation. This season, Warshaw not only partnered with Milan-based street artist Gioele Corradengo on a series of spraypainted dresses, but he let guests get in on the fun by tagging his designs.

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MIRROR, MIRROR For brides looking to shine a little brighter on their big day, mirrored numbers dazzled, from a tiered ball skirt in silver lamé at Honor to metallic paillettes on a hand-crocheted dress at Alejandra Alonso Rojas and plenty of sparkle at Idan Cohen.

Already a beloved ready-to-wear designer, this is Alonso Rojas’s first foray into bridal wear—and you can shop the collection now (unlike most, which won’t hit salons until spring 2025).

Spanish designer Alejandra Alonso Rojas, beloved for her hand-dyed silks and crochet dresses, launched her first bridal collection, which was immediately available for sale on her website.

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1. Francesca Miranda 2. Katherine Tash 3. Idan Cohen 4. Ines Di Santo 5. Honor

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COURTESY OF DESIGNERS

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Talk about dinner theater. The Cinq team outdid itself with the most elaborate production of the week, including candelabrastrewn tables and dancing models.

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Israeli designer Idan Cohen made his New York debut in pretty grand fashion by booking a series of impressive rooms at the St. Regis and preceding the show with a cocktail hour.

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HISTORICAL PRECEDENT 5 4

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There’s a certain adherence to tradition when it comes to bridal fashion designers.

While last season saw many a vintage-inspired number with ’70s-chic halter-neck dresses and flared jumpsuits, several designers turned to history for bridal looks worthy of a period drama.

The Pre-Raphaelite vibes were strong at Cinq (aided by candlelight) and Galia Lahav, while Soucy’s golden hues and rich fabrics also cast a painterly spell.

1. Bronx and Banco 2. Richard Quinn 3. Reem Acra 4. Soucy 5. Galia Lahav

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T H AT ’ S A W R A P

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Whether you’re thinking of shirking the veil altogether or wanting to make a statement with your reception entrance, a bridal scarf (oh yes, it’s very much a thing now) is the way to go. Seen at Nordeen, Savannah Miller, Nadia Manjarrez, Cinq, Alejandra Alonso Rojas and probably a few others we’re forgetting, the accessory should be easy to track down.

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1. Katherine Tash 2. Nordeen 3. Jenny Yoo 4. Enaura 5. Alejandra Alonso Rojas

As always, our Instagram whiz Lucy Ferut was quick to the draw when one lucky model’s boyfriend popped the question at Galia Lahav’s presentation.

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1. Francesca Miranda 2. Esé Azénabor 3. Maria Elena Headpieces 4. Mira Zwillinger

LE ND ME YOUR EARS 3

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For a sustainable twist, designer Francesca Miranda repurposed surplus floral embellishments by fashioning them into statement-making stud earrings. Mira Zwillinger and Esé Azénabor also embraced white blooms with shoulder-grazing earrings of their own. Who needs diamonds?

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The message from several designers this season: Go big or go home. To be sure, there’s always an over-the-top element in the bridal sphere, but we’re talking an everything-but-the-kitchensink approach. At Esé Azénabor, that meant a corset + plunging neckline + metallic embroidery + cloud-like, all-encompassing skirt that called to mind Bjork’s infamous swan dress. A more subtle yet equally stunning look was a fully sequined empire-waist number from Ines Di Santo that was topped with vibrant floral embroidery and a transparent black overlay for a glam boudoir effect.

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TO THE MAX 1. Reem Acra 2. Honor 3. Idan Cohen 4. Esé Azénabor 5. Ines Di Santo 3

Enaura designer Sohil Mistry launched a collection of little white dresses that features the same painstakingly detailed embroidery and beading for which the brand is known. Forget about second looks: These are worthy of the main event.

POLAROID FRAME: GETTY IMAGES; ALL OTHERS: COURTESY OF DESIGNERS

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Q U I C K- C H A N G E A R T I S T S 1

From bustles to boleros, convertible wedding dresses aren’t new, but this season brought several standouts that ventured beyond the usual tricks. Andrew Kwon, who officially closed out Bridal Fashion Week, added floor-length tulle underskirts to a series of little white dresses for an easy costume change, while Nadia Manjarrez offered separates in the form of corseted bodices that can be paired with skirts of varying lengths.

Andrew Kwon officially closed NYBFW with a tightly edited collection of six dresses, many of them convertible, at Korean restaurant Genesis House.

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1. Francesca Miranda 2. Nordeen 3. Nordeen 4. Nadia Manjarrez 5. Bronx and Banco 6. Ines Di Santo

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A Toast to Forever

Pair your everlasting love with a sleek and modern ever&ever® ring crafted in premium platinum.

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JOURNALING

Don’t Should on Yourself OFFICIANT MICHELLE LABUWI WANTS YOU TO BREAK FREE OF EXPECTATIONS AND PINPOINT WHY YOU’RE PLANNING A WEDDING.

By Hannah Nowack | Illustration by Jordan Kay

Whether you’re receiving unsolicited advice from well-intentioned—but slightly misguided—loved ones or simply feel societal pressures, it can be tricky to escape the mental barrage of “you should do X for your wedding.”

But how do you release yourself from expectations to plan the best wedding for you? Officiant and ceremony consultant Michelle LaBuwi of Swoon Union in Maine emphasizes the importance of understanding your why.

Clarifying your priorities will help you shake off the noise to stay grounded while planning.

“Defining why your wedding is important to you is more than just a formality—it’s essential to help you move forward with a clear purpose and vision,” explains LaBuwi.

“So much of the wedding planning process can be defined by stress and decisions, decisions, decisions.

Knowing your why gives you the power and freedom to design a celebration that’s a genuine expression of your unique love, aligned with your values and intentions,” says LaBuwi. “Without a clear why and honest, respectful communication, hosting a wedding can easily turn into a

tangle of tension and indecision. If you skip this important work, you risk losing the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to celebrate your bond as a couple.”

LaBuwi goes on to explain how easy it is to get lost in a sea of “shoulds.” “Reframing your thinking from should to could will give you more personal power and freedom to plan the wedding you desire, not the one someone else thinks you should have.” The pro encourages to-beweds to be unapologetic about their hopes, needs and dreams while planning their ceremony. “This willingness to clear the path of obstacles will lead to a more fulfilling celebration—and a rewarding marriage.”

Be clear about why you’re hosting a wedding. “If the stress and anxiety of hosting a wedding overpowers the meaning and magic of the moment, it’s time to reconsider your priorities and purpose,” she says. Understanding the questions here will help you answer the broader query: Why does hosting a wedding matter to you? LaBuwi encourages to-be-weds to answer these questions individually, then come together to dig into each of your answers.

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anticipation:

relationship:

Does the thought of hosting a wedding bring you joy and increase your happiness?

Why or why not? Are there other emotions that come up for you when you think about your wedding?

What three words describe the “essence” and foundation of your relationship?

needs: feelings: How do you want to feel at your wedding?

How do you want your guests to feel? What emotions or ideas do you want to express?

Regardless of logistics, what are your top three needs for hosting a wedding? For example, to include family members or to be present during the day?

purpose: wants: What do you defnitely want for your wedding? What do you defnitely not want for it?

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What is the central purpose of your wedding? For example, to foster new connections, be legally married, or officially begin your marriage surrounded by the people who bring out the best in you?

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FIRST DANCE

Think on Your Feet

E ASY STEPS TO SPICE UP YOUR FIRST DANCE—THROW THEM IN WHENE VER THE MOOD (OR MOVE ) STRIKES .

By Cathryn Haight | Illustrations by Tiana Crispino So you’re not the type of couple who wants Dancing with the Stars–level choreography for your first dance.

But you also don’t want to succumb to the dreaded “middle-school-dance sway.” We tapped Liza Marians of Dance With Liza in San Diego—a pro with a ballroom background who specializes in wedding dance lessons—to provide a handful of back-pocket steps you can practice at home and add to your first dance on the fly.

The Step-Sway Switch 1 Begin with the basic step-and-touch move from side to side, mirroring your partner.

2 Plant both of your feet and then slowly sway your bodies back and forth.

3 Return to the step-and-touch move, but this time, move in a circle so your guests can admire you from all angles.

The Frame Flip 1 Start with an intimate hold, wrapping your arms tightly around each other (the “prom hold”). One partner can rest their head on the other’s shoulder, or they can take the other’s right hand in their left and place it over their own heart.

2 Shift to a more formal ballroom frame. The leading partner’s right hand is on the following partner’s shoulder blade with their right elbow up, and their left hand is at a similar height holding the follower’s hand. The ballroom frame is useful for spins and other traditional moves.

3 Execute any relevant steps in the ballroom frame and switch back and forth to and from the prom hold as you see fit.

The Hello-Goodbye 1 Varying levels of closeness will add flair without complicated choreography.

Start close together; dance cheek-to-cheek or with the follower’s back against the leader’s front, swaying back and forth in a sweetheart position.

2 Open up your position and add some space between you. Keep one hand clasped with your partner’s and the other on their shoulder or waist. Both partners should position their hand-holding arms with a soft bend in the elbow.

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First Dance Tips

The Simple Spin

Bust a move—don’t make your first dance a bust.

1 The leader steps forward on one foot and raises their arm on the same side—the arm that is currently holding the follower’s hand.

2 As the leader makes a halo above the follower’s head with their raised arm, the follower spins (counterclockwise if the leader is stepping on the right foot, clockwise if the left) underneath their arm over the course of four or eight beats in the music.

3 The leader brings their arm back down and shifts the couple back into the ballroom frame (one hand holding the other partner’s and the other hand on their shoulder or waist).

Select your song wisely: “Choose a song with sentimental value and a clear, steady beat to follow,” says Marians, preferably a medium tempo.

“Tempo changes are okay if you have time to practice. If you’re pressed for time, pick a song with a steady beat.”

Also know that your DJ can cut the song short (maybe two to three minutes) if you don’t want to be in the spotlight for too long.

Embrace emotion: “Show the love, gratitude, happiness and romance in your eyes, smile, vibe and body language,” Marians says. “The easiest thing couples can do to show their love is to maintain eye contact throughout the dance.”

Hit the highlights (and high notes): “Pay attention to exciting parts of the song, such as an obvious phrase change, or the beginning or end of the chorus.

Use those moments to throw in a spin, lean, dip or lift,” says Marians.

The Dramatic Dip 1 The leader supports the follower’s middle back with one hand as they lunge forward with one leg (left leg for left dip, right leg for right dip), holding a stable core to support the follower’s weight.

2 Once they feel that mid-back pressure, the follower will gently bend backward, also tightening their core for stability. As they descend, their outside leg (with a pointed toe) lifts up. They can choose to look at their partner, at their guests or toss their head back for a little flair.

They could place their hand on their partner’s arm (which is around their waist) or let it extend.

Let it linger: “I probably give this advice more than any other,” says Marians. Hold dips and leans for a second or two, spin slowly to let your gown (if you’re wearing one) flare out and extend your arms with intention.

“Couples should pretend they’re dancing underwater to give the dance a more graceful look.”

Probably practice: “I can show couples some moves or a simple routine really quickly, but in order for them to execute it well and make it look natural, they need time to practice,” says Marians. Even with a few accessible steps in your repertoire, a little spin rehearsal ahead of the wedding doesn’t hurt.

Take Instagram inspo with a grain of salt: “Couples show me wedding dance videos that they’ve found on social media and ask if I can teach them the moves,” says Marians. “They don’t realize that most of the dancers in the videos are professional ballroom dancers with years, if not decades, of experience.

I often use the videos for inspiration and show them similar, but easier, moves.”

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Bespoke Threads Seema and Karan sourced their beachy neutral ceremony outfits from India.

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Miami Heat, Cool Vibes A TROPICAL-TONED DISCO WELCOME PART Y SE T THE STAGE FOR A WEDDING BATHED IN CALMING NEU TR ALS .

SEEMA & KARAN Story by Cathryn Haight Photography by Bailey Ann Original

Talk about wingwoman goals: Seema Shah’s (31, an interior designer) older sister knew Karan Purewal (33, a physician) was the perfect match for her sibling after meeting him on the dance floor at a wedding. One might think living in cities that are, give or take, about 2,000 miles apart would hinder romance, but sparks flew over Facebook messages following their matchmaker’s intro. The pair officially met IRL in New York City—Seema was in town from San Francisco on a work trip, while Karan flew in from Chicago to attend a friend’s housewarming party. Their first date was at The Otheroom, a cozy wine and beer bar in the West Village.

The romantic jet-setting didn’t stop there: “He flew out to meet me for our second date in SF,” Seema says. That’s when she knew that this was no ordinary romance.

Eventually, Seema relocated to Chicago so they could be together, and the couple later moved to New York. It was there, during a January 2022 snowstorm, that Karan asked Seema to marry him before the Manhattan Bridge in Brooklyn’s Dumbo neighborhood. While the proposal location recalled the first time they met, their wedding paid homage to their cross-country adventures as a couple.

After a jaunt to Las Vegas in October 2022 to elope at the iconic Little White Wedding Chapel, the couple planned a blowout bash for 225 of their loved ones in Miami at the 1 Hotel South Beach on March 4, 2023. “The first time we visited Miami together, we went THE KNOT

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Tropical Tones The colors of the wedding welcome party took inspiration from a traditional Indian sangeet, with a Miami twist.

to the 1 Hotel and loved it,” says Seema. “We have always loved Miami—it’s been a constant for our weekend getaways.”

To inspire the wedding weekend aesthetic, the couple pulled from the city and their venue’s seaside setting. Seema and Karan also incorporated some resonant Indian wedding traditions, but made other swaps that prioritized what was most meaningful to them: quality time with their people.

“Truthfully, we liked that we took out a lot of the events that make up a full Indian wedding,” says Seema. “I think the downtime is so important—you’re usually rushing to get to the next event at South Asian weddings.

We didn’t have that problem. We genuinely feel like we got to hang out with our guests.”

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a Miami Beach–inspired save-the-date—a neon blue and green piece of stationery by Seema’s favorite designer, Swell Press—but no formal invitation. They asked guests to RSVP on their wedding website.

The couple ultimately chose to begin the celebration with a nod to their heritage: a mehndi (henna) ceremony for Seema.

But she and Karan skipped a traditional sangeet, a North Indian prewedding ceremony where the couple sings and dances with loved ones to celebrate their nuptials.

Instead, they invited loved ones to a tropical disco-themed welcome party on Friday night. The bash mixed the deep, rich colors one might find at a sangeet with the hotand-bright hues of Miami. “We leaned into the fact that, traditionally, South Asian sangeets are very colorful,” Seema says. “Even

though we didn’t do one, we still went with a bright palette that integrated neon hues with iridescent tones.”

The lovebirds wanted to start the weekend of revelry with Miami views, so the welcome party took place somewhere pretty unconventional: on the covered rooftop of a garage. Retro vibes radiated from the decor, with disco balls and funky florals comprised of hot-pink, juicy orange, rich purple and sparkling silver hues. The two classic convertibles (also overflowing with a bevy of blooms) that anchored the party area drove the theme home (and made for a perfect photo op).

Shimmering brighter than the metallic and nearly holographic design elements, Seema greeted guests in a lavender number bedecked in sequins and ostrich feathers, while Karan wore a custom linen three-piece suit. Attendees passed family-style plates and platters of charcuterie, Spanish tapas dishes and paella across the long dining ta-

Skyline Sight Lines The couple hosted their welcome party atop a garage where guests could enjoy the city views.

Tandem Traditions Hindu and Jain wedding traditions came together during the ceremony on the 1 Hotel’s terrace.

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You’re usually rushing to get to the next event at South Asian weddings. We didn’t have that problem. We genuinely feel like we got to hang out with our guests. bles, while steel drummers and a DJ spinning soca tracks set the tropical vibe. “We wanted to lean into our personalities, the venue and Miami Beach, and allow guests to have fun too,” says Seema.

On Saturday, the bright and bold colors gave way to cooler tones—earthy and green— as the ceremony unfolded. Following a first look on the 1 Hotel’s rooftop, the ceremony took place on the venue’s beachside terrace.

Once again, Seema and Karan embraced and

bypassed tradition to personalize their interfaith ceremony. They focused on meaningful Jain and Hindu practices from Seema’s upbringing and omitted rituals from Karan’s Sikh background. “Ideally, we would have done a ceremony for each of our religions,” says Seema. To ensure guests could follow along with the events, the couple explained everything in a ceremony program; a whimsical cartoon of themselves in their wedding outfits gave it a touch of personality.

Karan drove to the ceremony in a vintage red convertible, in a lively processional known as a baraat (common to many South Asian weddings). Then he strode down the aisle beside his mother and younger brother, while Seema was escorted by her 9-year-old nephew and 5-year-old niece.

The pair went without an official wedding party (close friends said a few words at the welcome party instead), but they did have loved ones surround them at the altar. Seema also kept family close in her attire, pairing gold bangles that belonged to her grandmother and Karan’s great-grandmother with her beachy cream-beige bridal THE KNOT

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lehenga. Karan donned a custom groom’s sherwani made in Bombay for the ceremony…well, most of it. “Karan was super nervous, so he forgot his stole for the ceremony,” says Seema. “Luckily, we took pictures in the full looks in the morning.”

Under a canopy of hanging white blooms and tawny pampas grass, Seema and Karan heralded their marriage with some meaningful Hindu wedding traditions like varmala, where the couple exchanges floral garlands to represent the acceptance of each other into their respective families. Seema’s aunt also recited the Jain Navkar Mantra before the ceremony.

After a poolside cocktail hour where guests sipped on personalized libations—an espresso martini for Seema and a popcorn old fashioned for Karan—attendees made their way to the reception. The hotel ballroom’s design leaned into the earthy palette of the ceremony and brought tonal and textural dimension inspired by the Japanese wabi-sabi aesthetic. Votive and taper candles, multicolored glassware, rattan place mats and rustic linen napkins decorated the

Calm and Cool “The reception was pretty different,” says Seema. It was inspired by Japanese wabi-sabi style decor.

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tables—with ikebana-esque flower arrangements in the center. “I wanted to use flowers in a minimal but unique way that fit the color palette of our theme,” Seema says. And like the bangles she wore at the ceremony, this special touch nodded to the couple’s nearest and dearest: “We had old photos of our family members when they were younger— either before they were married and were kids or when they were newlyweds—framed and put on all of the tables for guests to enjoy and walk around and see,” she says.

Dinner was dynamic, with made-to-order food stations (including a most-essential tandoori oven) devoted to the couple’s favorite North Indian and Indo-Chinese dishes.

A cart serving ice cream—Karan’s favorite dessert—offering an assortment of flavors, toppings and cones replaced a classic cake.

The couple danced the night away, including an improvised first dance in their third outfits of the weekend: Seema in a form-fitting, white beaded gown and Karan in a custom black-and-white suit. House music—it was Miami, after all—and hip-hop were their genres of choice. And when the

clock struck midnight, the party moved upstairs to the same rooftop where the pair shared their first look earlier.

From dawn ’til dusk, every element of Seema and Karan’s day spoke to who they are as a couple: a pair who cares most about staying true to themselves and experiencing joy alongside their loved ones. And Seema suggests other nearlyweds follow suit. “Do what you want, whether that breaks from tradition or not,” says Seema. “Embrace the whole weekend and try to be as present as possible. You’ll want to remember it all.”

Wedding Date March 4, 2023

Ceremony + Reception Site 1 Hotel South Beach, Miami

Photography Bailey Ann Original

Videography Modern Love Productions

Event Planning Diwan by Design

Event + Floral Design Rentals Birch Event Design

Officiant Vimal Raval

Seema’s Attire Welcome party: Des_Phemmes; ceremony: Arpita Mehta; reception: Naeem Khan

Karan’s Attire Ceremony: Telon; reception: Liv Bespoke

Shoes Seema: Amina Muaddi, Aquazzura, Larroudé; Karan: Gucci, Saint Laurent

Accessories Mignonne Gavigan; Ranjana Khan

Engagement Ring Sangeeta Sethi

Wedding Rings Seema: Sangeeta Sethi; Karan: Catbird

Stationery Save-the-dates: Swell Press; day-of paper: Fawcett Ave Paper Co; TheIndianWeddingCo, Etsy; Pearly Paper Design; Rosemary Lines

Calligraphy Miami Writes Co.

Catering + Dessert Theirry Isambert

Music

In the Moment The couple “winged” their first dance with no practice, keeping with the relaxed vibe of the weekend. “That’s more us,” Seema says.

Welcome party: Desi Junction DJs, Pan Paradise; ceremony + reception: The Lost Strings Co.

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Burst of Blooms Cole (right) carried a lively mix of anthurium, French tulips, pincushion proteas, grevillea, roses and alliums for his bouquet. Enrique wore a purple phalaenopsis orchid boutonniere.

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The Chapel of Love HOW DO YOU THROW A WEDDING LOS ANGELES ST YLE ? WITH DESIGNER FASHION AND A SURPRISE PERFORMANCE BY THE WINNER OF RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE .

ENRIQUE & COLE Story by Samantha Iacia Photography by Callaway Gable

The phrase, “What’s meant to be will always find a way,” can apply to a lot of things in life. For Enrique Cheng-Robles (56, a family physician) and Cole Williams (30, a recruiter), their love story started with a series of chance meetings that ultimately led to a first date. The Los Angeles–based couple, who married on May 20, 2023, first met in 2017 at The Chapel, a bar and dance club in West Hollywood. “Enrique approached me and asked if I wanted to do a tequila shot with him. I did,” recalls Cole. “Then we exchanged contact information and he called the very next day. But somehow, our busy lives got in the way.”

Over the next year, Cole and Enrique occasionally saw each other during nights out with friends. And although Cole says that Enrique was hard to miss—“He was always dressed to the nines in a suit!”—it was a slow burn. Finally, after rekindling their romance through a dating app, they went on their first official date in July 2018. “I was so smitten after that,” says Enrique. “It was obvious to me that Cole was a pure soul. His smile melted my heart. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before.”

With a shared love of travel, they visited Paris; Honolulu; Puerto Vallarta, Mexico; and London. But Enrique says it was their first trip as a couple to New Orleans that stands out as the time when he decided he wanted to marry Cole. “Knowing his pure heart and kind energy and our chemistry together…Well, it just hit me at that moment. I said to myself, I’m going to marry this beautiful man,” shares Enrique.

So in December 2021, Enrique planned a surprise weekend trip back to New Orleans, complete with a private streetcar tour with a brass band onboard, as well as an incognito photographer and videographer. The tour guide briefly distracted Cole, and when he turned back around, Enrique was on bended knee asking Cole to marry him. Enrique presented him with an engagement ring—a round, brilliant-cut, 3.64-carat Tiffany & Co. diamond—at exactly 11:11 am, which was even THE KNOT

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No Place Like Home Cole says it was significant to have the wedding in LA, because it meant they could share their home city with family and friends. “Feeling embraced and loved by our families and friends was especially important to us as a gay couple.”

more sentimental for the couple. “Cole and I have a special connection around 11:11,” Enrique explains. “We feel it is the universe’s way of reminding us of how connected we are. If we happen to look at the clock at that time, we will text each other with our love.”

The proposal concluded with a champagne toast and a surprise engagement celebration aboard the streetcar. Cole’s friends and parents were waiting further down the tracks (Enrique had secretly flown them in) and hopped on to join the revelry as they drove down St. Charles Avenue.

Enrique and Cole wanted to celebrate their wedding at home in Los Angeles. With the help of their wedding planner, Jason Mitchell Kahn, they got to work bringing their “whimsical glam” vision to life. First: the venue. The couple chose to marry at Vibiana, a former Catholic cathedral in downtown LA that dates to 1876. Reflecting on their Catholic upbringings, Enrique and Cole appreciated the venue’s grand architecture. Its outdoor space and in-house catering provided by Redbird (Vibiana’s sister restaurant) were other perks.

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Next up: the designer fashion. Enrique and Cole tapped into their glitter-meets-glamour style with personalized Gucci tuxedos.

Cole paired his mauve, double-breasted tux with an oversized white bow tie, cream-colored ankle boots and mother-of-pearl cuff links. Enrique chose a black tuxedo accessorized with a black oversized bow tie, white pocket square, black diamond cuff links and patent leather shoes. Heirlooms put the finishing touch on the ensembles. Enrique carried a family medallion from his mother and wore a cross gifted by his late grandmother.

Following the “something borrowed, something blue” tradition, Cole wore his mother’s diamond earring and carried a blue embroidered handkerchief.

When it came time for the ceremony, personal touches and emotions brought the historic venue to life. Enrique walked down the aisle to Beyoncé’s “Halo” and Cole to Elvis Presley’s “Can’t Help Falling in Love.”

Up next, the officiant performed parts of the ceremony in both English and Spanish, in honor of Enrique’s heritage and to make the event accessible to his Peruvian rela-

tives in attendance. Through happy tears, they exchanged handwritten vows. “The main highlight for us was that neither of us knew what the other was going to say until we were up at the altar,” says Cole. “It was truly a beautiful moment to hear how we each felt about our relationship and commitment to one another.” It was Enrique’s favorite part of the day, and he recalls how it felt to stand there surrounded by family and friends while watching Cole walk down the aisle. “Knowing that this amazing man loves me the way I love him and will be mine forever just makes my heart swell,” says Enrique.

“The vows really brought that home for me.”

Finally, after exchanging wedding rings, they sealed their union with a tequila shot at the altar—an homage to the night they met.

It was a standout moment from the day for the couple and their guests, says Cole. Men-

Knowing that this amazing man loves me the way I love him and will be mine forever just makes my heart swell.

It’s All Gucci “Our planning experience was fabulous,” says Cole. “We really enjoyed seeing the evolution from start to finish.”

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Wedding Date May 20, 2023

Ceremony + Reception Site Vibiana, Los Angeles

Photography Callaway Gable

Videography Isabel Cinémathèque

Event Planning Jason Mitchell Kahn

Floral Design Velvet Poppy

Officiant Rev. Mercedes Ibarra

Enrique’s Attire Tux: Gucci; shirt: Eton

Cole’s Attire Ceremony: Gucci; reception: Balenciaga

Shoes Enrique: Gucci; Cole: Christian Louboutin, Saint Laurent

Accessories Enrique: David Yurman, Gucci; Cole: David Yurman, Saint Laurent

Hair + Makeup Breluxe

Engagement + Wedding Rings Tiffany & Co.

Wedding Party Attire Anthropologie; Indochino

Stationery Minted; Type & Love Paperie

Rentals Luxe Linen

Catering Redbird

Cake Cake and Art

Music Cocktail hour: Organic String Quartet; ceremony + reception: DJ Keelez

Photo Booth Pixster

Drag Queen Sasha Colby

Dance Lessons Alexis Massey

Transportation Crown Limo

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Party Time The DJ played a mix of pop and oldies rock. Cole revealed his outfit change to “WAP” by Cardi B.

delssohn’s “Wedding March” ushered guests into the cocktail hour in the courtyard, where they took glasses of champagne from gloved hands coming out of a decorative hedge wall.

Inside the venue, a color palette of blush, mauve, lavender and bright pink blended the couple’s tastes. The pastel pink and purple tones, showcased through flowers, menu cards and soft ceremony lighting, captured Enrique’s appreciation for formality and tradition. Vibrant pops of color—including hot-pink tablecloths and a yellow signature cocktail (a Peruvian-inspired “Kiko Sour”)— spoke to Cole’s love of trendy and unusual details. Accents of black, white and forest green provided contrast and depth. No two centerpieces were exactly the same, but many included a mix of anthuriums, pincushion proteas, spider mums, dahlias and sweet peas. Lavender roses in the centerpieces, bridesmaid bouquets and groomsmen boutonnieres nodded to Cole’s parents, who used them on their own wedding day.

The reception began with Enrique and Cole’s memorable entrance: a New Orleans– style second line. The newlyweds performed their first dance to Adele’s “Make You Feel My Love” and served a California-chic dinner consisting of watermelon and feta salad, California sea bass and cauliflower steak. As the festivities kicked into high gear, attendees decorated their faces with sparkles and rhinestones at a glitter station, echoing the fun vibes of the colorful lights projected onto the ceiling all night. At one point, Cole snuck away for an outfit change and stepped onto the dance floor in a neon yellow, longsleeve Balenciaga maxi dress accessorized with a hot-pink Saint Laurent clutch and Christian Louboutin stilettos. The couple had one final surprise up their sleeves: a performance by Sasha Colby, the Season 15 winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race. As the reception ended, guests received gift boxes filled with Bottega Louie macarons, heart-shaped tea bags and coffee inspired by Enrique and Cole’s favorite drinks, respectively. The newlyweds hosted an after-party at The Chapel, where they first met.

Looking back, Enrique and Cole agree that the most important piece of advice for other to-be-weds is to stay present as much as possible during the planning process, because it’s over so quickly. “Enjoy the process, even the stressful moments,” says Cole. Enrique adds, “Everything works out in the end. Don’t lose focus of the reason for the wedding: marrying the love of your life.”

Sweet Heart Maraschino cherries, pink icing and hand-piped trim decorated the heart-shape vanilla and strawberry wedding cake.

Ravishing Ruby THIS SMALL WEDDING IN THE ITALIAN COUNTRYSIDE TOOK INTIMACY TO NE W HEIGHTS .

AMBER & MARK Story by Chapelle Johnson Photography by Terri Baskin Photography

Some couples see sparks fly right away, but these sweethearts needed time for their love story to blossom. It all started when Mark Ruby (32, a senior financial compliance associate) asked Amber Andrews (31, a special events manager) to be his date to their high school prom. She refused. Destiny, however, brought them together again years later, and Mark requested another date. Amber agreed. Despite initial nerves, the date went perfectly: Minutes turned to hours, and led to a first kiss and plans for a second date. “Little did I know that my decision to say ‘yes’ to that one date would lead me to say ‘yes’ to Mark’s proposal,” Amber says.

The proposal, which took place in September 2021, resulted in the couple missing the Cleveland Browns’ home opener that season. Amber could tell something was up, because instead of heading to the football game, which they had attended for three years since they started dating, the two were driving southeast of the stadium to Chagrin Falls, Ohio. Once there, Mark awkwardly made an excuse to get a better look at the picturesque waterfall.

“Mark’s palms were sweaty, as they always are when he’s nervous,” Amber says.

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Throw Out the Rule Book You don’t have to follow a script to express fondness for your future spouse. “In our vows, we talked about our silly moments in the kitchen, how we navigate life’s stressors and how happy we are we got a second chance at love with each other,” says Amber.

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Let’s Get This Party Started The welcome party included a floweradorned bar, a top-notch DJ spinning the couple’s favorite tunes and irresistible small plates of local meats and cheeses (like pecorino, mortadella and finocchiona) as guests mingled around the pool.

“He managed to drop to one knee and propose.” She was still in shock from the sentimental proposal and applause from friendly strangers as Mark ushered her to the second part of his plan. A short walk from the waterfall, they came to a local restaurant where all their closest loved ones waited in a private room to congratulate them. Amber loves surprises, so it was the perfect way to celebrate her engagement.

When it came time to plan the wedding, Amber knew her first hire would be Melissa Williams of B Astonished Events in Washington, DC. “Melissa and I both went to the University of Maryland and are part of the same sorority, Alpha Kappa Alpha. I didn’t want to work with anyone but her,” she says. The

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two other big decisions, the guest count and location, were more challenging, since they involved some compromises. “Mark wanted a small wedding of close friends and family, and I wanted a large gathering,” Amber says. For the wedding locale, Mark didn’t have a particular place in mind, while Amber dreamed of throwing a destination wedding. In the end, hosting a small, intimate wedding internationally satisfied them both.

Nostalgia informed where the two would exchange vows. “As a college student, I studied abroad in several European coun-

tries and fell in love with the architecture.

The venue we selected, Villa La Selva Wine Resort, is in the countryside of Tuscany, and it reminded me of that time. Our families had never traveled outside the country before, so this was an opportunity to share that experience with them,” Amber says.

The couple had the best of both worlds on September 30, 2023, when they married before 25 loved ones. The vineyard location played a large part in the weekend’s aesthetic, with the couple’s decor and menu capturing the romantic and cozy sentiment

Bejeweled Beauty Orchids, hydrangeas and roses decorated the couple’s colorful rehearsal dinner table.

Mark and I played the long game, and it paid off. Sometimes it’s better to say ‘no,’ the first time.

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This Is the Remix The invitation suite’s watercolor illustration detail, highlighting the picturesque property, and custom monogram also appeared on the cones for the flower petals tossed after the ceremony.

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Falling in Love “We designed our wedding style to represent the essence of a romantic fall season. Soft fabrics and color palettes enhanced the ambience throughout the wedding,” Amber says.

of Tuscan culture and fall scenery.

For the rehearsal dinner, Amber and Mark chose a vibrant color scheme influenced by the jewel-tone dress code. The tablescape popped with orange and lavender taper candles and lush centerpieces of orchids, hydrangeas and dahlias. Amazing acrylic bouquet-shaped dinner menus completed the design and set the stage for an equally

elegant menu. The couple served vegetable ragù with gnocchetti and burrata-stuffed tortellini followed by veal fillet with triple-pepper sauce on a terrace overlooking the Tuscan hills.

After the rehearsal dinner, the festivities continued with a welcome party in the same eye-catching color palette. A flower-covered bar, which appeared to be sprouting out of the ground, anchored the design and left guests awestruck. The bar poured spritz cocktails, limoncello, Italian

beer and Tuscan vino (a must given the venue’s located in the heart of the Chianti wine region). Amber and Mark continued to embrace their host country’s cuisine with wood-fired flatbread pizzas and bites of pecorino, caprese, mortadella, finocchiona and Tuscan ham. “We were very open with our menu and not tied to anything. Our only stipulation was to have food that was true to the region,” Amber says.

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their names and new home. “After changing my name, I would become two colors, Amber and Ruby, so Mark thought it would be fun to have a wedding color that combines both,” Amber explains. This is part of how terra-cotta became their primary wedding color. “In addition, a year before the big day, we moved across the country to Phoenix, Arizona,” Amber adds. By selecting terracotta, the couple also subtly paid homage to Arizona’s desert landscape.

The ceremony offered scenic views of rolling hills flanked by towering cypress trees. Guests watched the couple toast with glasses of wine, a tradition in Tuscany that represents “celebration and shared joy but also hard work and commitment, since these are all needed to obtain good wine from the land,” Amber explains. As the newlyweds exited the ceremony, guests tossed white rose petals from vellum wraps with a watercolor illustration of the grounds and the couple’s custom monogram crest. The latter was everywhere, from the wax seal on the invitations to the napkins at the reception.

Another design staple was the ruby-red grapefruit, a play on the couple’s last name.

At the cocktail hour, dried grapefruits surrounded a wood drink menu highlighting a festive spritz station with creative variations—like a mint green-apple and ginger shrub—and their signature drink, the “Ruby Romance,” with fresh grapefruit. Dried citrus reappeared as escort cards and in the dinner table settings, which had hints of terra-cotta in the china and centerpieces.

“We wanted understated yet magical and meaningful decor,” Amber says. With that in mind, the planner did something the venue had never done before: set the table along a cypress-lined gravel path in view of the vineyard’s rows of grapevines. The outdoor dinner was a unique opportunity for guests to get a real taste of Tuscany.

Food remained a top priority for Amber and Mark. “We didn’t want to serve Americanized dishes in Italy. We took cues from the caterer about what would win over the crowd, and no course disappointed,” Amber notes. A risotto with a Chianti wine reduction and beef fillet with black truffle sauce were two standouts during dinner. For dessert, the couple served an Italian millefoglie, also called a thousand-layer cake, plus a gelato station with classic flavors like lemon, strawberry and stracciatella.

Even sweeter was what stuck with Amber and Mark the most from their wedding weekend: the touching moments they shared with friends and family. “During the father-

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daughter dance, my dad showed moves and rhythm I wasn’t expecting, because I lived across the country, and we couldn’t practice together. But there was no need. My dad stole the show,” Amber recalls. The surprises didn’t stop there. After Mark and his mother finished their dance, Mark’s mother lost her balance and fell into the pool. Later,

after ensuring she was okay, they decided to do the unthinkable and make a memory that would last a lifetime to cap off the celebration. “We felt really bad and wanted to make her feel better, so we decided to express solidarity and end the night jumping into the pool fully dressed. It’s a moment we look back on and laugh at,” Amber says.

Strike a Pose “For the favors, we wanted something different that the guests would enjoy later. We hired an illustrator to capture people during the cocktail hour and create a framable keepsake,” Amber says.

The More the Merrier The couple put a creative spin on their Italian wedding cake. A millefoglie (also known as a thousand-layer cake) is normally only one tier, but their caterer made several millefoglie and placed them on multiple stands, so the dessert looked more like a traditional tiered wedding cake.

Wedding Date September 30, 2023

Ceremony + Reception Site Villa La Selva Wine Resort, Italy

Photography Terri Baskin Photography

Videography Blair Williams Productions

Event Planning + Design B Astonished Events

Floral Design Flowers Living

Officiant Valentina Calvelli

Amber’s Attire Rehearsal dinner: Meshki; wedding: Allure Bridals; veil: Schaffer’s Bridal

Mark’s Attire Rehearsal dinner: Indochino; wedding: Nick’s Menswear

Shoes Amber: Jimmy Choo; Mark: Stacey Adams

Accessories Amber: Heirloom; Mark: Nixon

Engagement Ring Brookman & Son

Wedding Rings Schmitts Jewelers

Hair RES Haircase

Makeup Hetty’s Beauty Parlor

Stationery

By Dami Studios

Rentals Preludio

Catering + Dessert Il Sorriso Ricevimenti

Music DJ Lowkey

Live Illustrator Inna Baran

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E S S AY

Always a

Brides maid THE POIGNANT LESSONS I’VE LEARNED SUPPORTING MY BEST FRIENDS AS THEY WED.

Though I haven’t amassed the titular number of outfits from the film, my life has an uncanny resemblance to 27 Dresses. I’ve collected some wild stories, and my day job involves writing about weddings. I even have a growing collection of pastel dresses that I could, but likely won’t, shorten and wear again.

You may have a hunch about where this is going. We all know the classic rom-com trope: After all her friends walk down the aisle, a career-driven single woman gives up on finding “the one.” She leaves the big city for a small farm town, having sworn off love forever. And when her car breaks down, a flannel-clad Prince Charming swoops in on horseback. Well, I hate to disappoint, but my always-a-bridesmaid journey doesn’t quite fit that damsel-in-distress script.

This may cause a major case of cognitive dissonance, but here’s the truth: I’m obsessed with rom-coms and absolutely believe in marriage, but I’m not a hopeless 82

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romantic pining for a heartthrob to enter the scene. While it is fun to let loose and watch a lighthearted flick, I refuse to shrink myself into Hollywood’s patriarchal mold.

First of all, I’m simply not hopeless. Yes, I did leave New York City last year and currently live in a charming Midwest town.

But I can change a tire on my own, file my taxes and put IKEA furniture together faster than any guy I know. Does that leave any room for romance? You betcha—the key is that I’m hopeful about love, and I have my friends to thank for that.

Being a bridesmaid for the umpteenth time à la Katherine Heigl hasn’t embittered

me. Rather, it’s helped me hone my “why.”

Why do I care about marriage and weddings? I’ve considered why love and partnership are important to me.

Let’s back up: How has continually reprising my role carrying a bouquet while doting on friends illuminated so much for me?

Even today, my hand begins to cramp up when I think about that time I spent hours hand-lettering two large chalkboards that would serve as wedding welcome signs for my college roommate’s wedding in Virginia.

And while the chalk has long been erased, the memory of those signs ushering loved ones to the meadow where she exchanged

DRESSES: GETTY IMAGES; NOWACK: TIANA CRISPINO

By Hannah Nowack

vows with her partner hasn’t faded. I still remember the tears streaming down my face as I cried alongside every attendee while she recalled how their journey led to that day. “And today, I pledge my forever to you,” she declared.

And then there was the summer where I spent hours sweating through layers of a sari as the sun bore down on a 90-degree Maryland summer day. I was setting up chairs to create a perfectly curvilinear aisle to ensure the bride’s procession through the trees was nothing short of spectacular. Would an inch here or there have really changed anything? Nope. But the chance to

make her ceremony as intimate and focused as possible is what that sweltering exercise was all about. As she emerged around the trees, everyone would have smiled even if the aisle had been askew. But for me, it was profoundly beautiful to play a role in the start of her new chapter.

On another warm summer day, I trekked to five stores with my best friend to find the perfect ribbon to use as reception napkin ties (which we never found). Later that day, we painstakingly put stickers on hundreds of jars of apple butter that she was DIYing for her favors. Now every time I see a velvet ribbon, I smile as I think how that day was

only the beginning of a love story between her and her partner. Those little ribbons played a part in the gratitude she felt for loved ones supporting the growth of a relationship that has spanned multiple states, houses and jobs. And that relationship has continued to set an example for me of an equal and equitable partnership.

There was even the time that I designed and ordered custom monogrammed cloth napkins for my brother’s rehearsal dinner. I kept a few for myself, and every time I use one, I’m transported back to the terrace dinner under the stars as I cried and laughed at the toasts while wiping my barbecue-covered hands on the dove-gray linen napkins.

So what did I learn from napkins, ribbons and chalkboards? Custom touches matter.

They center the couple’s priorities and give the day meaning. Not in the everything-must-be-monogrammed way. On the contrary, personalization means different things to different people. It could look like special cloth napkins to keep guests focused on each other, rather than sticky barbecue sauce. Or it could mean devoting hours of support to a friend as they undertake DIY projects that are meaningful to them.

At the end of the day, if the couple’s love and priorities shine through, that’s the key.

When you focus on your relationship and priorities during the wedding planning, the rest of the noise falls away.

If you asked me at 22 what my dream wedding involved, it would’ve been a straight-from-Pinterest event with a guest list of 150. While there’s nothing wrong with that, time has revealed what I really care about: a deeply personal wedding that celebrates my timeless partnership…more than passing trends. If I got married tomorrow? I’d invite 30 of my nearest and dearest (including a few bridesmaids of my own) to a mountain chalet for a week of activities and memories. More authenticity, less fluff.

And while I’ve only worn two of my many bridesmaid dresses again, I don’t resent the investment I made in them or my friends.

It all comes back to my core “why”: relationships. Whether being there to support a friend or finding a significant other of your own, the ties we share are what really matter after the flowers wilt and the cake is devoured.

As an all-too-experienced bridesmaid, I can confidently say people matter, thoughtfulness is key, and you should invest in what lasts.

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L A N G UAG E

Hear Us Out

THE RECENT SOCIAL TREND OF IN/OU T PREDICATIONS HAS US RE THINKING WEDDING LINGO. HERE’S HOW WE’ RE LE ANING IN .

By Jamie Cuccinelli You’ve vowed to embrace handwritten cards and resolved to stop pretending you like dark chocolate. In/out lists are the modern version of weighing pros and cons. You may have seen your friends share which fads or habits they hope to champion—and which they hope to leave behind.

Lighthearted in nature, the in/out model of thriving-and-outgoing trends presents the opportunity for some self-reflection and

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in tention -setting. And isn’t that always something worth seizing? We think so.

We’ve noticed that much of the vocab surrounding weddings is a tad antiquated, not exactly representing today’s relationships and all that love can look like and be.

In fact, as the dating app Bumble discovered in a 2023 survey, one in three women are no longer focused on adhering to traditional relationship milestones. Moreover, online

dating is consistently where many of those partnerships are getting started: The 2024 Relationships and Intimacy Study from The Knot reveals that nearly 50 percent of those surveyed had met a past partner online.

Enter: Our in/out list. More than just a TikTok tag, this is our declaration of what needs to be struck from the wedding lexicon—and what needs to be embraced moving forward.

OUT

IN

Jokingly calling yourself a bridezilla/groomzilla

Acknowledging—and properly treating—prewedding anxiety

“Shedding for the wedding”

“Sweating for the wedding” (for those stress-relieving endorphins, natch)

“Perfect” by Ed Sheeran (Sorry, but it’s been at the top of The Knot Real Weddings Study for six years now!)

Elvis Presley’s “Can’t Help Falling in Love” (With all the #Elvis content out there as of late, it’s no wonder this ’61 love song has been climbing the first-dance charts.)

Relationship timelines (that don’t make sense for you)

Intentional dating

Nightmarish in-law stereotypes

Setting boundaries with family members

“Too late to run, here she comes!” signs

Ultra-supportive, shamelessly in love partners (think: Taylor/Travis vibes)

“Bridal” suites

De-genderizing wedding traditions

Going all “starlet-servant” on your vendors

Treating your vendors with respect

“Final Fiesta” bach themes

Knowing that there are plenty of adventures with your love ahead

Anti-bride

Not feeling like you have to prescribe to anyone else’s version of you

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R E A L TA L K

Vendor Tipping Cheat Sheet Tipping your pros is often customary—and a thoughtful way to thank your hardworking vendors for a job well done. Don’t know where to begin? This worksheet outlines who typically gets tipped and will help you plan ahead.

By Kim Forrest | Illustrations by Tiana Crispino and Natalie Romine

15-20% WEDDING PLANNER

READ YOUR CONTRACTS CAREFULLY.

Some vendors include gratuity as part of their total fee.

$50-$250

PHOTOGRAPHER

$50–$250 x number of team members =

VIDEOGRAPHER

15–20% of total services or a nice gift =

$50–$250 x number of team members =

HAIRST YLIST 15–20% of total fee =

FLORIST

MAKEUP ARTIST

$50–$200 or a small gift =

15–20% of total fee =

WA I T S TA F F & B A R T E N D E R S 15–20% of food and drink fee =

$50$150

T R A N S P O R TAT I O N C O M PA N Y 15–20% of total fee =

$100$500

DJ

$50–$150 =

CAKE BAKER $50–$100 or a small gift =

OFFICIANT

$100–$500 =

PHOTO BOOTH AT T E N D A N T $50–$100 =

$20$30 AT T I R E A LT E R AT I O N S

$1-$5 PA R K I N G AT T E N D A N T S

$1–$5 x estimated number of cars =

$10-$50

MUSICIANS $25–$50 x number of musicians =

D E L I V E RY A N D S E T U P S TA F F

$10–$50 x number of team members =

$20–$30 =

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THE WEDDING DIARIES

It Was All a Dream: Inside the Wedding Vibe YOU KNOW E X ACTLY WHAT YOU WANT YOUR GUESTS TO TAKE AWAY FROM THE WEDDING , BU T WHERE DO YOU E VEN BEGIN? OUR COLUMNIST, A WEDDING PL ANNER WHO’S ALSO ENGAGED, WALKS YOU THROU GH THE PROCESS .

By Jove Meyer Edited by Esther Lee Illustration by Abigail McCartin

When guests leave your wedding reception, they take with them a feeling from the day. Often known as your wedding “vibe,” these memories are an authentic extension of your unique styles, personalities and love story. In fact, the best weddings are full of a couple’s DNA. (Think: food they prefer to eat, music they love to hear, colors that make them happy and more.) Your wedding vibe should encourage everyone to have a great time, so guests look back on the day and think, “Wow, that was so them.”

One pep talk before we get started: Your food, music, flowers and wardrobe all have no bearing on the success of your marriage.

Lean into what you both want and create your own unique vibe that screams y-o-u.

(You do you, boo!) Deciding on a wedding concept can feel intimidating and obscure, because what is a vibe anyway? It’s how you want everyone to feel during the wedding, and what they’ll remember fondly years from now.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: What happens if my fiancé and I have different ideas, like oil and vinegar? Well, welcome to my life. They say opposites attract, and in my case, it couldn’t be more true. My fiancé wants Versailles vibes and I want a MoMA-inspired aesthetic. We’re polar opposites in terms of what we envision for our wedding. However, through our “wedding vibe” activity, we’ve now created what we call the MoVersMA (that’s Modern Versailles Museum of Art for you).

But Jove, how do we find our vibe? Not to worry. I’ve created a three-step process called WIP (Words, Images, Priorities). By completing the following activities with your partner, you’ll easily refine that vibe and maybe even your wedding style. (You’re welcome.)

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WORDS For our first activity, you and your fiancé will both open your phones to the Notes app, or take out traditional pen and paper.

Answer this question: I want our wedding to be [insert words here]. Jot down the first three adjectives or concepts that come to mind. Don’t overthink it, and don’t you dare write what your mom (or society or the latest rom-com) wants you to say.

Once you each have your three words or short sentences, take turns reading the items on your lists. Did you have words in common or come across anything unexpected? You might say “relaxed,” but does that refer to the dress code and design? Or when you say “high energy,” does it mean you want an atmospheric buzz that explodes with joyful confetti on the dance floor? It’s important to facilitate

a safe space for sharing. You can only know if you ask, you can only learn if you listen, and you can only make magic when you both lean in. For example, my fiancé’s Versailles concept means we’ll have a black-tie dress code, while my MoMA vibes will influence the design, making it more contemporary.

This is not only an intimate and honest practice that will help you nail the vibe; it will also be a great test of your communication skills as you prepare for marriage.

Can you listen to your partner, attempt to understand each other and communicate openly with respect and support?

One more word of caution with this practice: Make no assumptions. Now is the time to ask! The great Brené Brown says clarity is kindness, so be clear and stay connected.

PRIORITIES

IN SO MANY WORDS

Stumped on how you want your wedding to feel?

Here are some moods that my clients have previously shared.

Romantic Emotional Intimate Joyful Epic Dance Party Delicious Full of Connection Magical Memorable Relaxed Warm Inclusive An Extravaganza Laid-back Full of Love Experiential Vibrant Flavorful

JOVE MEYER ILLUSTRATION BY TIANA CRISPINO

IMAGES Weddings are visual experiences, and having an aesthetic vocabulary, along with your previously selected words, will help you further refine your vibe. The next exercise requires some mood-boarding: Each of you will find 12 photos that reflect your ideal wedding vibe. Again, do this separately.

The images can be photos of anything, including art, travel, architecture, food, design and nature (ideally no wedding images).

I’m pushing you to be less literal and more imaginative. IMO, wedding photos are the easy way out: You’ll see what you like and attempt to replicate it. I’m here to say you can do better and you can make it your own with extra effort. Find images that evoke resonant feelings within yourself. You may not know why you love it, but add it to the 12 if it speaks to you.

As with the word activity, share your images with each other and talk through why you love each photo. Discuss what makes you happy, whether it be the color, texture, shape or energy of a place. What makes you love the picture, and how can you translate that to your wedding? You have now refined your wedding vibe. Congrats!

As a planner myself, I am here to say all vendors are important. However, you will each have vendors that are a higher priority to you. Your final activity is to choose your top five categories and rank them from 1 to 5, with 1 as the top priority.

The next practice is verbal. One of you will state the vendor and together, on the count of three, you’ll both say your rating. This activity should be fun and informative. You’ll both see clearly who your most important vendors are, which will help you refine your budget. Both parties could respond “one” for food, which means the focus will be on finding the best caterer or a team that sources the freshest local ingredients. You won’t land on the same numbers from start to finish, but this exercise will help you glean prioritization.

Now that you know where vendors stand in terms of priority, it’s time to do some research—unless, of course, you have a planner ranked at the top of your vendor list.

(Personal note: Full-service planners, when hired, will create a list of suggested vendors who can execute your proposed vibe.) Once you’ve created your list, research local vendors across those categories.

I’m also going to tell you something that everyone does: Lurk. Scope out their website and social media pages. Explore their reviews. See if your vibe lines up with their energy and services, and whether your images line up with their style. I want to make clear that it will be an uphill battle to get someone to do or create something that is not innate to them. It’s better to find someone who specializes in your priorities and to find vendors whose passions align with yours. You should speak the same language!

One additional note on vendors: Unsolicited advice from loved ones is an expected part of planning. Some may suggest vendors. Vet their work on your own and see if it translates to your vibe. Then reach out.

According to The Knot 2023 Real Weddings Study, couples hired an average of 14 vendors last year.

Here are some categories to inspire your conversation.

Attire

Officiant

Catering, Cake & Bar

Photography

Decor & Flowers Entertainment (Additional) Music

Rentals Stationery Transportation Venue Videography

vendors are people too. You may tap your foot waiting for a rapid response, but these folks are running a business, responding to clients and focusing on time-sensitive projects. Give a vendor two business days to respond. (Note that how they work with you in the beginning is very likely how they’ll work with you throughout the process.) I always suggest starting every inquiry with a compliment about the vendor’s work and why you want to work together. Hiring wedding professionals means starting relationships.

Once you’ve assembled your dream team, pour yourself into the details. Even when people tell you how a wedding is “typically” done, don’t be afraid to ask to do it another way. Bend, if not break, all of the rules, and together you’ll create magic. My last words for this issue: Lean into joy. At the end of the day a wedding is about love, so don’t lose sight of that. Do everything…for love!

( B O N U S ) C O M M U N I C AT E An extra: When you reach out to a prospective hire, here’s a basic template of details to share: 1. We are getting married on X date. 2.

We are getting married at X venue. 3. We are expecting X number of guests. 4. We want our wedding to be [insert words here], and we are inspired by these images attached. 5.

We’d love to learn more about your services to see if you can bring our wedding to life.

When you reach out, remember that

Jove Meyer is a celebrated wedding planner and designer based in Brooklyn, NY. A visionary and advocate for inclusivity in the wedding industry, Meyer is the creator of the Ally Pledge and the host of the podcast Weddings-ish with Jove. You’ve seen him on Good Morning America, as well as here as our columnist.

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Dusk ’Til Dawn A F T E R- PA R T Y

DON ’ T LE T THE

RE VELRY END WITH

YOUR RECEP TION—

AN AF TER- PART Y IS

A GRE AT E XCUSE FOR MORE CHAMPAGNE

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WITH THE PEOPLE YOU ADORE .

By Cathryn Haight

GETTY IMAGES

POV: It’s the last song of your wedding reception and you’re ready to exhale. But you’re not done hanging out with your nearest and dearest. (More like you’re craving comfortable shoes and a late-night bite.) That’s where the after-party comes in. These bonus bashes continue the celebration in a laid-back way that doubles down on personalization.

To get you started, we assembled the ultimate guide to wedding after-parties. You’ll find fresh and funky themes that’ll hype up your guests, tips for securing your ideal venue, need-to-knows to pull it off and even after-party swaps for those who aren’t night owls. Keep the good times going, your way.

HIGH ENERGY

Choosing the right spot will ensure you get the ambience you want. Here are a few of our favorites, divvied up by energy level, because there’s no need for a rave if you’re more of a kickback couple.

Dance Club

Steal the Style: Can’t find one of these venues near you? No worries. You can bring the essence of these spaces to life on your own.

If you’ve got an active crew that’s definitely not ready to leave the dance floor, a club is your ideal choice. Depending on your group size, reserve a VIP table in advance or just pack on in with the crowd.

Steal the Style: Bring in a disco ball and enlist an energetic DJ to set the mood.

Arcade So your group is still bouncing off the walls with energy, but moving and grooving has gotten a little stale. An arcade after-party is the perfect solution to engage guests in a fun way off the dance floor.

Steal the Style: Did you know you can rent arcade games? Create your own late-night game room.

Jazz Club Sophistication meets buzz at a jazz club after-party, with luxurious furnishings, low lighting and, of course, live music for your late-night revelers. You can get up on your feet or slink into a corner bistro table and vibe.

Lively Dive Bar A pub or dive bar offers a low-key feel, but heightens the excitement with music, tight crowds and the possibility of shooting a few rounds of pool on the side.

Steal the Style: Stock up on craft brews and set up some dart boards to achieve a dive-bar feel.

Steal the Style: Book a jazz quartet at your bash location to capture this vibe.

Listening Bar

Wine Bar Think: warm lighting, trendy bottles and cozy corners. This is the most appealing option for couples who prefer a quiet locale to actually chat with their guests.

Steal the Style: Your caterer can put you in touch with a sommelier to select some cool bottles to serve.

LOW ENERGY

GETTY IMAGES

LO CAT I O N , LO CAT I O N , LO CAT I O N

PART Y 1. Mood Swing Be bold and go for a completely different vibe, especially if your wedding was more traditional. Chances are, most of your after-party attendees will be younger guests, so don’t be afraid to get funky and cheeky. Example: If your wedding felt like an English summer garden party, go for a sexy, tropical tiki look at your after-party.

These cool Japanesestyle bars are cropping up in cities all over. They beckon newlyweds and their loved ones to sink into a booth and enjoy an all-vinyl soundtrack.

Steal the Style: Find a DJ that plays records at your after-party venue to evoke this energy.

POINTERS

2. Calendar Check Look to your own typical weekend plans to get inspo for an after-party that feels like the best version of an authentic night out with you two. If you’re posted up at your local brewery every Saturday to try what’s new on tap, gather guests at a beer hall venue, or serve bottles from that favorite brewery for your signature after-party beverage.

Here’s our advice on how to set your after-party ambience, keep your guests’ energy up and enjoy the moment.

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DREAM THEME Find out which of our favorite after-party themes is best for your bash.

1

2

3

4

5

How fancy are we talking?

Up for more dancing?

What’s your ideal after-party outfit?

What season are you marrying in?

A. Fall or winter

Which celebrity would you invite to your after-party?

A. Sleek or slinky

B. Nope

B. Summer

A. Alison Roman

B. Cozy or casual

C. Yes, definitely

C. Spring

B. Jennifer Coolidge

C. Funky or vintage

A. Full glam B. Pajamas, please C. In the middle

A. I have energy, but not for dancing

C. Cher

Answers

Mostly Bs:

Dreamy Martini

Sleepover Vibes

Think: downtown cool with a touch of class.

Guests will sip dirty martinis by a dark wood bar and snack on caviar and potato chips, while you swan around the room in a silky new outfit (maybe at your speakeasy or old-school steak house party venue?).

Think of this idea as a drive-in movie meets picnic. Set up a large projector screen plus some chairs or blankets on a lawn or rooftop, and screen a crowd-pleasing film. Leave some time ahead of the flick to chat and mingle, and let guests help themselves to snacks (pizza, popcorn, candy bars, etc.) before everyone gets settled.

A popular throwback comedy is the winning choice here, like Legally Blonde or When Harry Met Sally.

3. Prioritize Proximity Keeping your after-party close to the reception location will ensure guests won’t lose steam in transit. If your party spot isn’t easily walkable, consider providing transportation like shuttle buses or offering ride-share codes for a seamless transition.

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4. Explore Decor (or Not) A few candles and a disco ball are easy ways to create a party atmosphere, but don’t feel pressured to use more decor. You can easily keep it simple and let the space’s existing decorations do the work for you (even if it’s a dive bar’s neon beer sign, which offers its own aesthetic).

Mostly Cs:

Disco Cowboy Giddy up back to the dance floor with this funky theme perfect for a group that wants to keep partying with a capital P. Disco balls and bright colors are a must, as are rhinestones and fringe. Bonus points if you provide cowboy hats.

5. Fight Fatigue Provide an energy booster at the end of the reception. To-go coffees or espressomartini shots will always go over well.

GETTY IMAGES

Mostly As:

ZZZZS, PLEASE Sometimes, you’d rather hit the pillow than hit the bar or dance floor again.

But you don’t have to forgo an after-party. Your wedding guests will be just as fun (and happy to see you) the next day with these relaxed ideas for a “morning-after party.”

Beach/Pool Day Whether it’s renting poolside cabanas at your hotel or heading down to the shore with beach blankets and coolers, a day by the water is the perfect way to unwind with your loved ones postwedding. Bring a few beach games and some food (sandwiches taste better on the beach), and you’ll be as golden as the sunshine.

Chill Backyard Brunch Lounge around in your own backyard, at a nearby park or in another picnic-friendly area with an alfresco brunch spread, and let your guests filter in and out as they please. Keep the food simple, like fruit salad and a build-your-own bagel bar, and stock up on coffee, tea and juice. You can’t go wrong with a portable speaker and some lawn games.

Mid-Morning Hike Getting married in the mountains? An easy hike is a great way to spend some quality time with your guests while enjoying fresh air in your stunning setting. Have trail mix and big bottles of water at the ready, and don’t start too early—let folks sleep in a little. Take some time at the top or bottom of the trail to hang out and relish your people.

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Summer Camp Set up lawn games for a fun day that delivers on nostalgia and casual vibes. If you’re near a lake, break out the canoes and kayaks. Then, if the party lingers into the night, pass around cozy blankets while roasting s’mores around a bonfire to really drive the theme home.

6. Energy Match You know your crew the best, so anticipate how eager they’ll be to keep partying after the reception. Then choose your location and activities accordingly.

FUEL UP, BUTTERCUP Don’t have an after-party without food. Ever.

These snacks are great choices for late-night bites.

Pizza Your guests will sigh with relief when that stack of cardboard boxes comes through the door.

Party Sub Sandwiches A sub, hoagie, grinder or whatever you call it that spans the length of your body is in the party-food hall of fame for good reason.

Grab a few of these, stacked with different toppings, to give guests a late-night snack that balances carbs, protein and crunch.

Breakfast Sandwiches There’s perhaps no greater crowd-pleaser than a simple egg and cheese. Serve a few with bacon, some with sausage and switch between English muffins and bagels so everyone gets their favorite style.

Favorite Fast Food Whether you’re an In-N-Out couple or Taco Bell superfans, fast food is a total win for a midnight treat.

Chicken and Waffles This is the perfect choice if you’re caught between sweet and savory—and you don’t have to keep it super traditional. Serve chicken tenders with a selection of sauces, plus a platter of waffles with different pourable toppings (honey, maple syrup, chocolate sauce and such). Let guests mix and match.

7. Capture the Moment Hire a pro photographer for your after-party to get those trendy flash shots.

Alternatively, place disposable cameras around the room (or in the hands of some VIP guests) to take more impromptu snaps.

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PLUS-ONE 101

The Other Kind of Wedding Date Bringing a partner or new spouse to a wedding for the first time can add anxiety where there should be nothing but excitement and happy tears. That goes double if your babe doesn’t know anyone but you, or triple if you happen to be a member of the wedding party. Want to end the night with new friends and everyone’s socials exchanged? Consider this your go-to guide.

While most plus-one etiquette manuals are geared towards the couple throwing the bash (think, “Who should score a coveted guest spot?”), there are plenty of questions left unanswered if you’re the one to RSVP. Have one that we didn’t answer here? DM us your plus-one Q for an answer from our team!

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The Q: How do you know you have a plus-one?

The Answer: If you have been #blessed with a plus-one, the invitation will typically say so. It’s customary for the couple to either address the invite to you and a guest or provide that information on the response card if one is included. (Alternatively, if they have a wedding website where you can RSVP, you’ll likely be able to do so for two people.)

We probably don’t have to say—but we have to say—if you are not invited to bring a plus-one, never bring one along and expect to be accommodated. Only ever ask to bring a guest if you’re in a committed

STOCKSY

ALL YOUR PLUS-ONE QUESTIONS ANSWERED BEFORE YOU RSVP. By Jamie Cuccinelli

relationship (such as if you’re engaged or living with someone) and know the couple well. Do so graciously and with the understanding that budget and space limitations likely influence their decision. You should also feel comfortable contacting the couple if you need to bring along a caretaker and want to ensure they are accounted for.

The Q: Who “counts” as a plus-one?

Dancing on Your Own? Didn’t happen to score plusone permission? No biggie. It’s common to feel uneasy entering an unfamiliar situation, but try to embrace the opportunity.

You’ve been invited to celebrate the love between some pretty important people in your life.

How cool is that? Moreover, you’ll have time to chat with guests you may not have seen in a while, as well as meet new people—potential friends and romantic prospects alike.

After all, you know and love the couple of honor, so you can likely find some commonality with other invitees—and taking yourself out for the night can be empowering! Show yourself a good time by:

Doing what you love (Camping out by the dessert bar?

Dancing every dance? It’s up to you!)

Ease shyness by having conversation topics at the ready.

Play photographer. Offer to take pics of couples and friends—it’ll be much appreciated.

Chat up older guests.

They’ll likely have fun stories to share about the couple!

The Answer: Plus-ones have traditionally been spouses or serious romantic partners.

However, there are occasions when couples have encouraged their guests to bring more casual partners or a very close friend.

When in doubt, ask the couple. Inviting a near-stranger, for instance, may be viewed as inconsiderate, while bringing a child under 18 isn’t appropriate at a kids-free event.

Have the OK to seek out a plus-one? See the sidebar (and cue the potential rom-com).

The Q: How soon is too soon to bring a new partner?

The Answer: A relationship doesn’t need a label to be wedding-worthy. But if you’ve recently started dating someone and are encouraged to bring them, be mindful that wedding guest lists are usually solidified several weeks ahead of the nuptials. So if you’re still only planning dates a few days in advance, you’ll want to ensure that your potential plus-one is ready to make that commitment.

You also want to clear up ambiguity around your relationship if any exists.

Would they like you to introduce them as something specific? Their name is always a great place to start, but make sure you’re on the same page. (A simple “We’re dating,” is usually acceptable if asked how you know one another.) Things can quickly become awkward if you introduce them as your partner but they see the relationship as being more casual.

The Q: What if my plus-one doesn’t know anyone but me?

The Answer: If you’ve found yourself matched with a golden retriever-like partner who can make friends on any dance floor, no problem. Regardless, it should always be a priority to make your partner feel comfortable in a new situation. Sure, you’re technically both guests of the nearlyweds, but your partner is also your guest. No matter how long you’ve been together, that’s pretty damn romantic if you ask us.

Wedding Date Wanted The scenario? You’ve scored an “...and Guest” on the envelope of a wedding invite in sprawling script but aren’t married or in a serious relationship.

Gulp. If the couple encourages you to bring a special someone, snag a boo by “I do” with these tips.

Hit the apps ahead of the dance floor.

Update your profile with current photos, showcase your personality and put your intentions up front. Looking for someone who knows TikTok choreo to impress at the reception or a date to split a slice of wedding cake with? Make it a cheeky response to a prompt! If it garners a like or right swipe, asking a question related to weddings (such as what song they always request) is a great way to get the convo rolling.

Be on the lookout for a person who expresses excitement over this type of event. Positive attitudes can be contagious, so don’t be shy about sharing your own enthusiasm.

You should be thrilled about bringing this person along. You also want to be confident in their ability to be respectful and appropriate, and have an idea of their comfort in social settings. Don’t feel pressured to bring a date, even if your envelope is printed with “and guest.” Spread your wings and fly solo.

Think about what will make them feel secure—if you aren’t sure, ask! Be forthcoming of any commitments that’ll require your attention day-of: If you’re a bridesmaid and need to arrive early, be flexible if your plusone wants to come later.

If you have friends at the event, see if you can arrange a meet-up. (Bonus if you’re familiar with the area of the wedding and can give recs.) And at the reception, help convos flow by explaining who knows who and offering icebreakers. Does someone at the table love golf as much as your honey?

Let them know.

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R E L AT I O N S H I P S

Romanticize Your Marriage FIND MAGIC IN THE MUNDANE.

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By Jamie Cuccinelli

With their farmer’s market twine-wrapped bouquets, steamy bakery-fresh croissants and tea sipped on breezy back porches, trendsetters of recent years have been urging their followers to find small moments of romance in their dayto-day lives. It’s a concept we can’t help but get behind. (Hello, romance is kind of our thing!)

In traditional therapy-speak, romanticizing something can be seen as unhealthy: Typically, a person who is romanticizing a situation or relationship may be ignoring red flags. But society has tweaked the definition over time, transforming it into a type of slow living or mindfulness practice where we indulge in small, attainable things that nonetheless feel deliciously good. Think: Devouring each new season of Bridgerton or pouring over Colleen Hoover’s smutty novels.

This act of sprinkling a bit of romance into your daily life and paying mind to little moments of joy can be applied to marriages as well as self-

care. “Romanticizing small, seemingly mundane moments creates an extraordinary bond between spouses,” explains Massachusettsbased psychotherapist and couple’s counselor Judy Silvan. “You give your partner the experience of feeling seen and celebrated on a daily basis.”

In this sense, romanticizing your marriage means not waiting around for special occasions or grand gestures to share sweet moments with your spouse, especially when there are opportunities every day. Making space for these moments can transform the mundane into the magical, allowing you to create consistent bits of intimacy. “It’s crucial to bring effort and intention into the everyday life,” Silvan says.

“Intentional efforts to share special tokens of your love demonstrate interest and care toward your partner, begetting a solid sense of trust and secure attachment.”

Romancing during dating? Pfft. You and your partner could write the book on it. But now it’s time to romanticize your marriage.

Cultivate daily pockets of romance with these achievable, affordable ideas for connection and quality time.

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14. Take more photos. Not for Instagram mind you, but regularly hosting impromptu photo shoots will ensure you’re never short on physical mementos. Dust off those wedding photo poses and get familiar with the phone timer in your living room. Don’t forget to capture those unfiltered moments too.

15. Host a dinner party. Commit to cooking a real meal and invite your friends over. It’ll make you feel just SO married.

16. Hold hands. Whenever you can, whenever it crosses your mind.

17. Start a gratitude jar. Whenever your partner does something that reminds you exactly why you married them, jot it down and stash it in a designated jar. Read them together once it’s full.

18. Commit to one act of kindness each day. Buy the other fresh flowers, stock up on their favorite candy, take over dinner duties when it’s so not your turn.

19. Recognize that this is a special occasion. Why are we always saving the honeymoon wine or the wedding perfume for a big event? Your marriage is the special occasion! And what could be more romantic than treating even the most mundane moments with your spouse as such?

Things Just Got Smutty If your relationship was an IRL romance novel, marriage is the chapter where the plot can advance from steamy to smutty (or smuttier). “When sexuality includes that sense of knowing one another with depth, a couple can enliven their sex life,” Silvan tells us. That may point to why the percentage of couples having sex at least once a week actually increases once they got married, according to data from The Knot 2024 Relationship & Intimacy study. Care to join them?

The art of romanticizing your life and marriage can extend to the bedroom too, and one of the simplest ways to share satisfying sexual intimacy is by prioritizing it. Explore intention-filled and foreplay-focused forms of intimacy that invoke touch, vulnerability and BookTok-approved passion.

Devote an hour+ to just passionate kissing.

Keep the lights on during sex to encourage eye contact and shed inhibitions.

Stimulate the senses with the use of blindfolds and temperature play.

Talk dirty(ish). Communicate emotions and physical sensations during sex—even a simple “I want you” works.

Have outercourse or mutual masturbation be the main focus for a night.

Share your fantasies and explore what you’re both comfortable with.

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1. Share a cafe-quality cuppa once a week. Whether you choose to brew with a French press or buy your own bottle of lavender syrup for lattes, this cup should feel more special than your regular morning coffee and be sipped slowly and savored with one another. Use two hands (unless you’re holding hands) and maintain eye contact.

2. Dress up for one another—for no reason. A tux for a movie on the couch? Your rehearsal dinner dress for a glass of wine on the porch? Why not?

3. Upgrade your bedding. Your bed can be a place of sanctuary in your marriage. Treat it as such with a sensual upgrade: Silky sheets or crisp, hotel-quality sets feel luxurious and sexy.

4. Go on a book blind date. Wander a used bookstore or library together and find a book you think the other might like. Surprise one another later. (Bonus points if you wrap them up in thick brown paper and bits of string.)

5. Forest bathing, a practice where you surround yourself in the peacefulness of nature, can help lower stress hormone levels, making sharing the experience with your partner more than just a romantic cottagecore fantasy.

6. Plan a picnic. On a similar note, share a romantic picnic together, complete with airy attire, wicker baskets and pretty pastries.

7. Indulge your inner children. Agree to having a playdate in lieu of date night. Build blanket forts, make crafts and share sweets.

8. Get into astrology. No one says you have to believe in it! But there’s something inherently romantic about exploring how your love was written in the stars.

9. Go on a one-day road trip. Remember the aimless driving you may have done as a teenager? Channel those free-spirited vibes (and steal kisses at the stoplights) by going on a one-day road trip to nowhere in particular.

10. Write love letters. Put pen to paper and express your affection in the way poets have done for centuries. Aren’t sure where to begin? See the next page for help from a professional.

11. Cook by candlelight. Why wait until you’re having dinner when you can set the mood early?

12. Dance to your wedding playlist. Blast it through your speakers and pretend your home is your reception (except no one is there to catch you getting handsy).

13. Throw a themed party, just for you two in your living room. Christmas in July? Sure! A Lord of the Rings movie marathon? Remember to tie in food and inexpensive decor.

the art of the love letter Sweet nothings don’t always play the same when sent over DM. Expressing your sentiments through scrawling script is a timeless, stunning display of vulnerability.

“It’s profoundly romantic to sit with your feelings for the person of interest,” explains historical fiction and Regency romance author Clyve Rose. “To open up to them and be vulnerable—in print—is an act of courage from yourself and trust in your lover.”

A fave plot device in romance novels, love letters can be a profoundly personal, swoonworthy gesture—one that only costs some thought on your part (plus postage). “It takes effort to sit down with a blank sheet of paper and fill it with your feelings for someone,” says author and writing coach Lindsay Elizabeth. “You have to dig deep. The effort itself is romantic.”

You need not be a fictional character to pen pretty prose, though. The following advice will help you craft your own handwritten sentiments for your spouse.

(Tear out this page and keep it close when you start writing.)

PRO PROSE TIPS If you’re not used to putting pen to paper, Elizabeth suggests recording a voice memo first.

“Verbally express your feelings for the other person and all the things you’d love to say to them. Then transcribe it into a letter.”

Do consider a theme, suggests Rose. This handy hack can help you tie your words together. “If you’re both into base jumping, you can mention the thrill of falling and the trust and safety of knowing where you’ll land.”

Don’t put pressure on yourself. “If a love letter feels too daunting, you can write shorter love notes on Post-Its,” says Elizabeth. “Hide them for your partner to find throughout the day or week.” You can also share the experience with your partner and opt to write one another letters during a date night in. (You may find the vulnerability more comfortable if you’re both at home.)

Do focus on personal details. “They make it special,” Elizabeth notes. Sit down and try pulling your partner into focus. “What makes them smile or laugh?” asks Rose. “How are you inspired by your lover? These are the traits to draw on when you pen your letter.”

Don’t rush. Once you’ve written your letter, stash it between the pages of a book for a night or two. “Read it over and let your intuition guide you through any changes,” says Rose.

“This is your heart speaking.”

Do handwrite your message. Use some beautiful stationery if you can—your wedding wasn’t the only event deserving of pretty paper. Mail it even if you live together, or leave it somewhere for your spouse to find.

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Complete the package. “One of my editors always says, ‘Surprise and delight your reader,’” shares Rose. Elements like dried rose petals in the envelope or a dab of lavender oil on the page will ignite several of their senses.

Don’t try to sound like your favorite Bridgerton sibling. “What makes a love letter romantic is its honesty,” says Elizabeth. “It should sound like you and how you genuinely speak, because that’s who your partner fell in love with.”

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Private Equity

BY NOW, YOU’VE HEARD ABOUT THE TRAD WIVES, SOCIAL MEDIA’S LATEST VERSION OF THE STEPFORD WIFE. BUT WHAT THESE EDITED VIDEOS DON’T SHOW IS HOW DAMAGING THE FAD COULD BE TO MARRIAGES.

By Esther Lee Collage by Tiana Crispino

At a recent dinner with a group of editors, I gently raised the topic of trad wives and watched the conversation turn unexpectedly spirited and impassioned. Most agreed that this modern Stepford Wives-esque, social media movement challenges women’s rights, or as one person described it, is a “sinister” guise fueling the patriarchal agenda. For that same participant, who climbed the corporate ladder in the ’80s, the issue felt personal; it seemed to unravel decades of progress made by an entire generation of women in the workforce like herself.

Stay-at-home moms, another powerful sector of women, are also miffed by the purported lifestyle of trad wives, who perpetuate a false narrative that being relegated to domestic duties is glamorous, if not easy. Their biggest concern is that trad wives (whose social media lives revolve around rearing children, tending to their husbands, making sourdough bread from scratch, waking up with fresh blowouts and ultimately selling products or promoting their own brands) are not only being received by

Americans. In some cases, they’re revered. “The trend emerged in the past few years to describe a certain kind of social performance of womanhood where the woman is submissive to a man. She gives up her agency and submits to what could be considered traditional gender roles, where a woman’s sole place is working inside the home and a man is the one who works outside of the home and makes money,” says Jo Piazza, author and host of the Under the Influence podcast.

While my dining companions and I were on the same page, the polarity of opinions nationwide regarding trad wives has facilitated cultural commentary from dozens of major media outlets. It also means that for every table that vehemently opposes trad wives, there’s another group of women who see themselves validated by these content creators. For hours on a Monday night, I researched selfproclaimed trad wives fueling the movement. One such post from Instagram account @TheTradWivesClub, featured a shareable meme that read, “Wife Life > Girl Boss-

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ing.” As usual, I scrolled straight to the comments to see if there was support for the post, which there was. Looking at another influencer’s #TradTok, I gasped as I read comments admiring and praising her femininity. “The trad wife trend is rooted in a false nostalgia for a kind of 1950s television family seen in Leave it to Beaver and Donna Reed. If you haven’t come across a trad wife before, they essentially all look like Betty Draper in Season One of Mad Men,” says Piazza.

How is it that, seven decades after the prototype of a dutiful housewife was born—when it feels as though we’ve evolved beyond the archetype of traditional wives—we’re debating their merits? You might also wonder how this topic falls within our wheelhouse of love and weddings— I imagine an acerbic Instagram commenter writing, “Why do you care? You write about weddings.”

To which I respond, “Don’t worry, darling. You’re about to find out.”

When they’re engaged, couples often hear that they aren’t only planning for the wedding; they’re prepping for marriage. Yet equitable marriages and relationships are under scrutiny when content creators perpetuate false expectations of gender roles to promote themselves. “I have been reporting on social media trends and the impact that media has on culture and on women, in particular, for the past four years,” says Piazza, who is also the author of How to Be Married.

“Trad wife content does incredibly well on social media because the pictures are pretty and the posts looks idyllic, especially compared to the dumpster fire of world news right now. It is incredibly appealing, and a lot of people are consuming the visuals [and the messaging that they can hand financial ownership to their partners].”

Unfortunately, many are likely to believe the perfectionism or traditionalism promoted by these accounts are the standard, if not the norm. It could create a far from equitable dynamic within marriages. What trad wives don’t show is the actual hard and often grueling work that goes into domestic labor or child-rearing. In addition, many trad wives who’ve built a niche following on social media have wealth or a steady income source that allows for additional support around the home. They won’t be facing down a toilet bowl or scrubbing a floor, because that can be easily outsourced. You’ll find their perfectly coiffed hair and manicured fingers kneading

bread instead. “The issue is that it flattens the images of women that we see,” Piazza says. “It fails to show all the hard work that goes into mothering. It also promotes a lifestyle where women do not have agency over their own lives, and this is incredibly dangerous.”

Dangerous. Damaging. Disappointing. These are strong words, but they’re a visceral response from people who can point to history. “The trad wife trend is so damaging because it is 2,000-year-old religious ideals being recycled and portrayed as ‘new,’” says Eve Rodsky, researcher and bestselling author of Fair Play. “Unfortunately in a patriarchy, women can be complicit in their own oppression. When women are the ones delivering these trad wife messages on social media, they help perpetuate societal pressures and expectations about how women should spend their time.

This not only limits women’s opportunities for personal and professional growth, but also reinforces gender inequality.”

Agrees Piazza, “When we see nostalgia for the 1950s housewife, à la Betty Draper, it ignores the stifling limitations put on women then. They couldn’t get a credit card and had to submit to their husbands without question.” (More on that on page 38.) “It is important to recognize and challenge such representations as a tool of patriarchal control of women’s time to create a more inclusive and equitable society,” says Rodsky. “TL;DR? Same shit, different decade.”

The discourse has much to do with power dynamics. Trad wives tend to defer (or “submit”) to the person in power, which is often the male in the relationship.

They’re relegated to domestic duties, which includes picking up after their partner. “The work that it takes to run a home and a family is crucial, but it has to be shared, no matter who’s making more money,” says Rodsky. In addition, allowing one partner to bear complete financial responsibility leads to other risks within a partnership. “It creates a dynamic where one person has control and power over the other person, which can often lead to incredibly damaging relationships and abuse,” Piazza says. (Indeed, the data tracks. According to the National Network to End Domestic Violence, financial abuse also occurs in 99 percent of domestic violence cases.)

Power and money aside, Rodsky points to one more element at stake. “Time is our most valuable currency,

We need to be showing more of real life: the real work that we do as women, the real way our houses look when we don’t have time to clean, the real exhaustion of motherhood. But we also need to celebrate the wins of women’s ambition in all things. It doesn’t just have to be ambition in the workplace, but ambition in the home, ambition to have a gorgeous garden, ambition to raise money for your kid’s school.

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—Jo Piazza

and we all deserve equal time and choice,” she says.

“Partners need to make sure that they are both getting an equal amount of time to focus on the things that bring them joy, or what I call the happiness trio: self-care; adult friendships; and the ‘unicorn space,’ pursuing curiosities and sharing them with the world.”

What’s clear is that we have to reconcile social media use and self-worth. Therapists will say selfconfidence plays an influential role in a marriage. The perfectionism projected by trad wives, however, can impair how we view ourselves at home. Most notably, the argument here is not to be judgmental of trad wives, but to challenge what influences our ways of thinking. The algorithm knows us more than we realize, so how can we make it serve us?

“We need to be showing more of real life: the real work that we do as women, the real way our houses look when we don’t have time to clean, the real exhaustion of motherhood,” says Piazza. “But we also need to celebrate the wins of women’s ambition in all things.

It doesn’t just have to be ambition in the workplace, but ambition in the home, ambition to have a gorgeous garden, ambition to raise money for your kid’s school.

We also need to talk more openly and honestly about finances and how women need power and control over a household’s finances.”

While equity within each marriage and household looks different for every couple, there are plenty of healthy displays of partnership out there. You may notice them in your own families and friend groups.

“I like the idea that we are elevating the kinds of work that women do in the home to something that we do want to see, to something that is aspirational,” Piazza adds. “The danger in that is when you say, ‘This is the only thing a woman should be doing. This is the only role that a woman should play.’ If we cling to this false nostalgia where women had it incredibly hard, where they did not have agency or autonomy, we could roll back the laws that gave us independence without even realizing it.”

After all, real life doesn’t necessarily translate to an edited 30-second video set to Darlene Love’s “(Today I Met) the Boy I’m Gonna Marry.” It occurs, indeed, IRL.

About the Experts Jo Piazza is the creator and host of the Under the Influence podcast and the bestselling author of How to Be Married. Her latest novel, The Sicilian Inheritance, is in bookstores now.

Plus, Minus, Equals A WORKSHEE T TO HELP YOU BAL ANCE THE SCALE IN YOUR MARRIAGE .

That was a lot to read through, but we hope this story starts a conversation in your relationship. Together with your partner, reflect on the following prompts, as guided by Eve Rodsky.

1. What did the division of labor look like in your house growing up? Do you remember how your parents or caregivers divided the workload? (Who did the dishes, laundry, grocery shopping?

Who took you to the dentist? Who was the tooth fairy?)

2. Is there a certain point in the day, or during the week, when it feels especially hard to get things done? What do you most need at that point from me?

3. When was the last time we can think of when we did something important outside of our roles as a parent, partner and/or a working professional?

4. How can we each honor and afford to allocate time to do more of this and what we love?

Eve Rodsky is the bestselling author of Fair Play and the founder of the Fair Play Policy Institute.

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Life GUERDY ABRAIRA: “I’M COMING BACK STRONGER, BETTER, FASTER.”

BY ESTHER LEE PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHRISEAN ROSE STYLING BY REBECCA DENNETT

Headpiece by Jennifer Behr; dress

by Nardos.

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On Guerdy: Dress by Bronx and Banco; shoes by Larroudé; rings by Lady Grey; earrings by Christina Caruso. On Russell: Jacket and pants

by Brooks Brothers; T-shirt by Todd Snyder; shoes by Jimmy Choo.

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Opposite: Headpiece

by Honor.

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Dress and cape by Esé Azénabor; shoes by Jimmy Choo; earrings

by Ming Yu Wang.

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Dress by Naeem Khan; earrings by Perry Street through Rocksbox.

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Opposite: Crown by Caroline Zimbalist; earrings, stylist’s own; rings, Guerdy’s own.

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A CONFERENCE, a statuesque wedding planner in a petal pink dress and patent leather boots struts her way to the main stage. Her head is shaved, her makeup elegant and her demeanor full of charisma. She takes her place at the podium and addresses a room packed with industry peers, disclosing details about the harrowing past nine months: her breast cancer diagnosis and how it’s impacted her personally and professionally. She was at the pinnacle of her career when she heard the news, and her will to survive has given her radiance and glowing authenticity—and a new purpose in life. The vulnerability she displays onstage is met with thunderous applause.

When you ask Guerdy Abraira about the last year, she’ll tell you it forever changed the trajectory of her life. In early 2023, the wedding planner turned Real Housewives of Miami star was planning a friend’s wedding in St. Barts when she received “the call.” After a routine checkup, her doctors had detected noninvasive cancerous masses, which required an additional biopsy and MRI. That was when an invasive cancerous mass was discovered, hidden behind one of the lumps. “I found out about the invasive cancer the week before I started filming the new season of Housewives,” she says. Guerdy reflected on the timing and decided to let the cameras film the harrowing treatment process. The show had already documented the highlights of her life: her marriage, family dynamics, career gains and more. This was an opportunity to show viewers “when things aren’t good,” she says. “It was to give hope and be aspirational.”

That’s exactly how viewers received that moment of vulnerability. “She’s inspiring and utterly fearless,” says Andy Cohen, Housewives executive producer. Her best friend on the series, Nicole Martin, also reflected on that decision. “I always tell G that I don’t think I could have done what she did. She shared the most vulnerable moment of her life with us and with viewers,” she says. “The amount of strength and courage that she demonstrated was absolutely incredible. It really is a testament to who she is: a classy, strong and determined woman.”

In December 2023 at Engage! Summit, a wedding industry conference, Guerdy spoke soon after she had gone into remission. Aware of her health condition (and fame), I didn’t expect

her to join our cocktail table at the lobby bar in Boca Raton, Florida, the final evening. The theme for the night’s gala was “A New Golden Era,” which Guerdy nailed in a shimmering Art Deco–style gown. I was at the bar with a few colleagues when Jenny Lewis, chief marketing officer at The Knot, ushered Abraira over and introduced her to the group. They had met by the elevators, and Guerdy had proposed putting herself on the cover.

She calls this her inner voice and intuition—she knows exactly when life brings opportunities her way. “I put things out there.

Like when I said to the group, ‘You should put someone from the industry on the cover…like me,’” she says. “I have no shame. I’ve heard, ‘She’s too much’ so many times. Well guess what? That’s the worst thing you can say to me.”

Reality TV viewers (including some critics) will see Guerdy on-screen in full glam and say her life is perfect, because she’s beautiful and a top wedding planner and designer. What they miss is that her success is the result of years of discipline, innovation, collaboration and good old-fashioned hard work. It’s clear that she’s reached this level due to her own grit, drive and originality. “Nobody, and I mean nobody, can take this,” Guerdy says as she points to her temple. “You have to know your shit.

I could sell anything because I knew my shit.”

Guerdy’s career as an event planner and designer is a double-edged sword. If you were to shadow a wedding vendor, you’d be surprised at what the role requires. Behind every illuminated reception is a team of people, and every staffer is

Opposite: Gloves by Wing & Weft; earrings by Lady Grey.

Makeup and grooming by Daniela Gozlan; manicure by Andrea J. Vieira; set design by Cristina Forestieri. Produced on location in Miami Beach, Florida, by Select Services.

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important to a seamless operation. The planner, the maestro behind someone’s biggest milestone, must be agile, a sharp communicator and project a cool demeanor to assure everyone that it all will be fine. Despite the inward chaos, Guerdy was executing events at an electrifying speed and operating at a level of perfection that could only result in burnout. “I also think it’s what got me sick,” she says.

Guerdy has planned celebrations for some of the country’s wealthiest families, throwing events in places like Palm Beach, Florida; Miami; and the Caribbean. “It was 100 percent word of mouth,” she says of her clients and business growth. “People would say, ‘You have to call Guerdy. She’s fabulous…Mind you, this was before Instagram. They’d book me, sight unseen, and then they’d arrive and be shocked and say, ‘You’re Guerdy?’”

The industry then wasn’t exactly known for its diversity.

She started as a fundraiser in events, pivoted to a catering manager role at a hotel and was eventually recruited to run events at the exclusive Miami enclave of Fisher Island. “I saw a dolphin jump up when I was on the ferry to the interview, and I said, ‘Yep, this is going to be my place of employment,’” she recalls. Later, a flower shop went up for sale on the island, which fueled her ambitions; she bought it. This allowed Guerdy to operate a business of her own, including an in-house design studio and a team. “That’s how I became the party planner,” she says.

“What you see is what you get with Guerdy, in all aspects of her life,” says Martin, who hired Guerdy to plan and design her baby shower in March. “She doesn’t do anything at less than 100 percent. She is passionate about her events to the last detail, as well as meticulous, well-organized, detailed and innovative.” Echoes Cohen, “She’s talented, confident and aspirational. Grounded and stylish too.” (On her storefront on The Knot, Guerdy maintains a 5.0 rating and accolades from past clients.)

Cancer upended everything Guerdy knew—including what she thought she wanted in her career and life. “It’s so easy to feel stuck,” she says. “In the weirdest way, my cancer journey helped me see clearly. The skies parted, and I saw my life across different spectrums. Things I didn’t have answers for previously, while lying on that bed, literally feeling like I was dying, I saw clearly. You feel like you’re on needles when you’re going to the bathroom and feeling your bones spasm, as if you’re dying slowly. The cancer was a detox. I became a new person based on that whole chemical release: Guerdy 2.0.”

One of the first requests our team received for Guerdy was to ensure there was a cool space for her on the set of the photo shoot. “I can feel it coming,” Guerdy said in a panicked tone in her first outfit. “Fan, please!” Our production assistant hurried over with an industrial-grade fan, which is set by the hair and makeup station. One teammate said that her mother went through something similar during remission. Hot flashes are common for people who’ve gone through chemotherapy or surgical menopause. Cancer medications can also induce night sweats, as the boundaries of the body are pushed to survive and regenerate. On set, we gave her an extra fan.

Russell Abraira, Guerdy’s husband since 2002, also joined the shoot. A Miami firefighter, he’s quiet and gentle—observers who didn’t know him would think he’s a bit brooding, like Edward Cullen from Twilight. The Abrairas are arguably one of the

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Bravo network’s favorite reality couples. At a team dinner that night, our creative director, Nathalie Kirsheh, and I went back and forth on several observations from the set. Often, small interactions between couples can reveal what’s happening within their relationship. One such moment was when Russell stepped out in a Brooks Brothers tux; Guerdy looked over as if she wanted to eat him up. We caught the expression only briefly, but there was a palpable chemistry between the two.

“I’ve been keeping my man satisfied for 28 years,” Guerdy said cheekily as she posed in a blush vintage dress from Nardos Archive, which inspired Guerdy to channel a song as she posed.

She requested we play “And I Love Him” by Esther Phillips, no fewer than seven times on the speaker. It felt appropriate, though. It was clear she thought about Russell as the photographer, Chrisean Rose, captured the introspective moment.

The Abrairas were high school sweethearts. During their senior year, a time when life trajectories often start to chasm, Guerdy was worried she and Russell might break up once she moved to New York to pursue her dream to become a ballroom dancer. A conversation in Russell’s car at the tender age of 17 kept her in Miami. “We were so young. At that moment, you’re thinking, ‘If we’re able to make it work, why not?’” she says. Had she moved up north, the now-beloved Abrairas might’ve ceased to exist. “It would’ve been a big mistake, like Pretty Woman: ‘Big mistake! Huge!’” The daughter of a pastor, Guerdy has her own relationship with God, but isn’t a churchgoer. (“I pray in my head,” she says.) “Me without Russ? God said, ‘No.’” “He’s the middle,” she says. “We didn’t marry for money. We weren’t parasites to each other. A lot of marriages are one-sided about power. The man is the one with the money. Russell wants to be with me because he loves me. We never looked outside of our marriage to fix our marriage. I could go to a party and get all dressed up and Russ wouldn’t. And I always come home to Russ.” Cohen has seen numerous Housewives relationship dynamics by now. Of Guerdy and Russell, he says: “I love their history and their intense connection.”

Russell and I chatted briefly while he was on set to support his wife’s cover feature. I interviewed him between takes. “The best piece of advice we received as a couple before marriage…” he paused. “Well, we kind of took our own advice. We just followed our hearts, and we knew what we wanted. We didn’t have any problems outside of that, but our parents gave us advice: Respect each other, and as long as you love each other, then things should work out.”

When I shifted the topic to Guerdy’s cancer, she was in another area with our makeup artist. A crew, including our videographer, surrounded Russell to capture content. The question hit him suddenly; he was there celebrating his wife’s cover and remission, but then paused and put his head down as he got choked up. “At first, you don’t believe it,” he said of her diagnosis. “You don’t have time to prepare for that type of thing. But we worked through it, and I did my best to make things easier on her. That was my main goal.”

We were at lunch in Miami’s Aventura Mall the day after the shoot when Guerdy and I revisited that moment with Russell. The spread included a tuna pizza, several rolls (she

BRAVO’S BUZZIEST WEDDINGS Relive the most iconic weddings featured on Bravo, according to @BravoHistorian Samantha Bush.

By Sarah Hanlon Tamra and Eddie Judge June 15, 2013 Orange County, California Who could forget the decor at this Orange County event? “I think about this wedding a lot because of the bicycle that hung above their altar,” Bush says. The detail nodded to the groom’s love of cycling.

NeNe and Gregg Leakes June 22, 2013 Atlanta While Bravo has featured plenty of vow renewals, Bush has a soft spot for this sequel ceremony.

“I really loved their love of each other,” she says.

“This was the real deal.”

Kandi Burruss and Todd Tucker April 4, 2014 Atlanta For her nuptials, Kandi Burruss wore a polarizing feathered wedding dress.

“I love anyone who owns who they are, and that’s why I love Housewives so much,” she says. “They live out loud.”

LuAnn de Lesseps and Tom D’Agostino December 31, 2016 Palm Beach, Florida The Countess is Bush’s favorite Housewife, which is why the NYE vow swap was one of her top weddings to make it on air. “Her dress was just so good.”

Candiace Dillard and Chris Bassett August 11, 2018 Washington, DC With towering trees, suspended florals and glowing chandeliers, this Potomac event was as grand and opulent as it gets. “My favorite Bravo wedding,” Bush says. “I don’t know any other Bravo wedding, in my opinion, that could top it.”

Teresa Giudice and Luis Ruelas August 6, 2022 East Brunswick, New Jersey We’ll never forget where we were when New Jersey’s Teresa Giudice married Luis Ruelas, because the glam was just so mesmerizing. (Her updo required 1,500 bobby pins alone!) “It was so Jersey,” Bush says. “I was in awe.”

likes a yellowtail), short-rib gyozas, bigeye tuna with the tartare on top, shishito peppers and other dishes. (She recommended the restaurant.) “The choking-up moment, I watched it four times yesterday. I started crying,” she said. “I cannot believe that. He hasn’t talked about the cancer to a lot of people. I can also count on my fingers the number of times I’ve seen him cry: when our oldest son, Miles, was born and then, this moment.”

I responded that our team walked away from the set and said, “That man loves her.”

“It’s a mystery for both of us too,” Guerdy said. “We just stare at each other. We’re very good flirts via text messages. Russell wrote me handwritten letters when I went to school in Spain.

He’s a good flirt, especially when writing.” Viewers witnessed a softer side to Russell in the last season of Housewives of Miami.

There were moments when he would tell his wife he wished he could take the cancer himself, or he’d dote on her day and night while she was bedridden. “He’s a very interesting person. He’s so dimensional. He’s fascinating to me,” Guerdy said at lunch.

“I actually feel like I respect him more now than I did in the beginning. There could’ve been a sense of complacency, but then, once you fall in love again with that person—I think once we had kids, it was like, ‘Oh my God, this is so deep.’”

There was a third time when Guerdy saw Russell cry. In the initial phases of her treatment, she dealt with a blood clot complication. She told Russell that it made her want to give up and succumb to cancer. “And Russell said, ‘You can’t do this to me.

I need you. The kids need you. But I need you,’” she said, as she started to cry. “He teared up then too.”

Fans and the industry should expect a different version of Guerdy moving forward. Now in remission, she is screened every six months for cancer, a somber reminder that every day is a gift. “I’m coming back stronger, better, faster. I’m being selfish from now on,” she says. “My purpose in life now is to Guerdify the world, one mission at a time. I don’t want to be associated with just weddings or just cancer. My mind, body and soul are about beauty, health and more. I can speak to all of them as a professional and as an expert, because I’ve lived through it, and I’ve done it.”

While she plans to stay in the celebrations space, she is weighing her next steps as a wedding planner. In the meantime, she’s focusing on her investments, including an on-demand beauty app called Ring My Belle. “I’ve been in this industry for many years, and there’s been a big void in many of the top cities for some strange reason in offering glam services,” she says.

“We are stepping in to fill the gaps of demand. We’ll go worldwide—just wait and see.”

At lunch, Guerdy raised her glass of Whispering Angel rosé and proposed a toast: “To life coming full circle, and to an inevitable path. Everything is meant to be. I feel it in my soul.”

She said, “I meet people, and I know what to do. It’s a spiritual thing where I know things are meant to be in life. If you listen to signs, you know. When someone is in front of you for a reason, how is it that I’m meeting you now, how is it that I’m having this conversation? When you know, spiritually, this is the way. Like a Jedi.”

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A TOUCH OF

FROM OPERA-LENGTH GLOVES TO BEJEWELED MINAUDIÈRES, IT’S TIME TO BRING ENDURING GLAMOUR BACK TO WEDDING FASHION. PHOTOGRAPHY BY GIEVES ANDERSON STYLING BY REBECCA DENNETT

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1. Swan Vivika clutch

by Judith Leiber Couture.

2. Clockwise from top: Duchess eternity ring by Anita Ko; marquise helix ring by Grace Lee; pearl serif ring

by Katkim; curved diamond ear cuff, pear diamond choker and diamond triangle eternity choker by Anita Ko.

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3

5

4 6

7

3. Sarah Jessica glove by Wing & Weft; from top: Grande trace pavé ring, diamond oasis ring and Asscher cosma eternity band

by Katkim.

4. New York Pendant

by Misahara.

5. Marilyn glove by Wing & Weft; illusion round solitaire ring and tri-stone ring by Ritique.

6. Zora locket by Misahara.

7. Vintage net glove

by Wing & Weft; bow bag by Loeffler Randall.

8. Loubigirl Raffia pump by Christian Louboutin; glove by Bernadette.

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9. Zsa Zsa glove

by Wing & Weft; cocktail rings by Alison Lou. 10. Carla glove by Wing & Weft; from left: ¡Buenos Días! dual mega ray ring, Yari ring, ¡Buenos Días! mega ray stacker and ¡Buenos Días! Ensueño ring

by Itä.

11. Habitat Metamorphosis handbag by Judith Leiber Couture.

12. Sheer glove by Wing & Weft; from left: Gemini ring and Asa ring by Lady Grey Jewelry; Mayfair pumps by Larroudé.

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13. Full crystal slingback by Rene Caovilla.

14. From left: Diamond cocktail ring, open diamond ring and classic round diamond necklace by DeBeers; nude mesh glove by Wing & Weft.

15. From left: Arpeggia three-row diamond ring by DeBeers and classic five-line diamond ring

by DeBeers.

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15

16. Opera-length glove

by Wing & Weft; pearl cradle earrings and traced pearl earrings by Lady Grey Jewelry.

17. Bon Bon bag by Jimmy Choo.

18. Latte Nappa sandals

by Jimmy Choo.

19. Pink opal charm by Akaila Reid; Baroque pearl ring by Grace Lee. 20. Rita glove in peach

by Wing & Weft.

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27. Bebe glove by Wing & Weft.

28. Grace pump

by Larroudé.

29. Cherub pendant

by Wiederhoeft.

30. Cabochon vintage earrings by Wiederhoeft.

31. Coin purse by Wiederhoeft.

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Set design: Elaine Winter. Parts models: Shuya Chang/Parts Models NYC; Falak Khoja.

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OPPOSITE:

21. Marilyn glove by Wing & Weft; gypset ring by Akaila Reid.

22. Long beaded glove

by Wiederhoeft.

23. Celadon crochet clutch by Wiederhoeft.

24. Lace glove by Wing & Weft.

25. Pink opal ring and charm by Akaila Reid.

26. Floral pendant by Akaila Reid.

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Event

By Jen Murphy

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BOREALIS BASECAMP PHOTOGRAPHED BY THE NOMADIC PEOPLE

T R AV E L

The

BIG

BUCKET-LIST GETAWAYS, INCLUDING NATURAL PHENOMENA, SPORTING EVENTS AND STADIUM CONCERTS, ARE IN HIGH DEMAND. HERE’S HOW TO ORGANIZE ONE FOR YOUR HONEYMOON. Planning trips around marquee events has become one of the biggest recent travel trends.

Everything from athletic tournaments like Wimbledon to fleeting natural moments like Japan’s cherry blossom season have become major drivers of exploration. And they just happen to occur in incredibly romantic destinations, making them perfect anchors for a honeymoon itinerary. We’ve rounded up the top experiences around the globe, along with insider tips on how far in advance to make reservations and the best hotels to book to catch the action.

The Northern Lights LATE AUGUST TO MID-APRIL

Where: Alaska and Iceland What: Also known as the aurora borealis, Mother Nature’s dazzling neon light show usually occurs between 60 and 75 degrees latitude and glows brightest in areas with low light pollution.

Stay: Nestled in a forest 45 minutes north of Fairbanks, Alaska, Borealis Basecamp has dome- and cube-shape glamping suites with huge windows. Guests can be roused by an “aurora wake-up call” so they can ogle the colorful sky without leaving their covers. From $490; Borealis Basecamp.net. On Iceland’s remote Troll Peninsula, Deplar Farm, a 13-room luxury lodge, has a geothermal outdoor pool with a swim-up bar. That way, guests can sip cocktails and nosh sushi rolls while waiting for the psychedelic hues. From $3,924, all-inclusive; Eleven Experience.com.

When to Book: Six months in advance.

Insider Tip: Give yourself a few nights to witness the aurora borealis, just in case the weather doesn’t cooperate, says Rabia Malik, an advisor at Fora Travel.

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Grape Harvest in Wine Country SEPTEMBER AND OCTOBER Where: California and France What: Each fall, a heady smell of fermentation fills the air in wine country as the harvest gets underway.

Visitors can witness (and sometimes lend a hand) as workers pluck grapes from vines and transfer them to the winery for pressing and barreling.

Stay: In Sonoma County, California, the 130-room Montage Healdsburg overlooks 15.5 working acres of vines tended by Jesse Katz, winemaker of nearby Aperture Cellars, which guests can visit for private tastings.

From $893; Montage.com.

LA MAISON D’ESTOURNEL

In Bordeaux, France, La Maison d’Estournel, a renowned 18th-century vintner’s home turned 14room hotel, provides guests with exclusive tours and tastings at Château Cos d’Estournel, as well as access to a Grand Cru Classé winery in Saint-Emilion. From $330; LaMaison-Estournel.com.

When to Book: Three months in advance.

Insider Tip: Sarah Fazendin of Videre Travel recommends arranging a blending workshop at a winery so you can take home one-of-a-kind bottles.

Wimbledon Championships JULY When to Book: Secure tickets a year out and hotels at least six months prior.

Insider Tip: Early tournament rounds at Wimbledon let you see more players and matches, says Rachel Brown of Rachel Brown Travel. Pack a picnic breakfast and avoid the lines at the gates.

Hand & Racquet and The Old Frizzle are also great local pubs where you can watch matches on TV.

GETTY IMAGES

HOTEL DU VIN WIMBLEDON

Where: London What: Sip Pimm’s Cups while watching the planet’s best athletes play the legendary grass courts at the oldest and arguably most prestigious tennis tournament in the world.

Stay: A 30-minute walk to the grounds, Hotel du Vin Wimbledon is an elegant, 48-room Georgian mansion whose storied guests have included Oscar Wilde. From $240; HotelduVin.com.

If you prefer to be based in central London, eco-chic 1 Hotel Mayfair overlooks Green Park, and the concierge can arrange private transfers to the event via electric vehicles ($135 per hour); the tube is also nearby. From $825; 1hotels.com.

The Great Migration Where: Kenya and Tanzania What: Each year, one of the wonders of the natural world unfolds across the plains of East Africa as more than 1.4 million wildebeest and hundreds of thousands of zebras and gazelles travel from Tanzania’s Serengeti to Kenya’s Maasai Mara.

Stay: Fronting a watering hole alongside the Grumeti River, Singita Faru Faru Lodge delivers overthe-top luxury, plus its location within a

350,000-acre private reserve guarantees fewer vehicles and a wide time frame to get some incredible sightings. From $4,090, all-inclusive; Singita.com.

In Kenya, Angama Safari Camp offers an intimate fourtent experience that moves around various campsites near the migration in the Mara Triangle. From $4,200, all-inclusive; Angama.com.

When to Book: 8 to 12 months in advance.

ANGAMA

MID-JUNE TO MID-SEPTEMBER

Insider Tip: The Grumeti River crossings, while less dramatic than the northern Mara River crossings, offer a much more remote experience, as fewer vehicles access this area, says Katie McDonough of Explore, Inc.

SINGITA FARU FARU LODGE

Formula 1 Grand Prix

MANDARIN ORIENTAL SINGAPORE

SEPTEMBER AND NOVEMBER Where: Las Vegas and Singapore What: Start your engines for three thrilling days of elite racing at events around the world. Cars reach speeds of 200 miles per hour, and parties continue long after the engines cool.

Stay: The newly opened Fontaine­ bleau Las Vegas and its world-class nightclub experience can be found on the rooftop of Formula One’s exclusive Paddock Club. From $440; FontainebleauLasVegas.com.

Request a bay-facing room or suite at the Mandarin Oriental Singapore to take in the action on the Marina

Bay Street Circuit from the floorto-ceiling windows. From $2,600; MandarinOriental.com.

When to Book: Two to four months in advance.

Insider Tip: The qualifying and race days are the most exciting, and Paddock Club ticket holders have the best overall experience due to proximity, says Dani Johnson of Coastline Travel.

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ASK THE EXPERT

BY ESTHER LEE Your honeymoon is about as grand as it gets. If you want to prepare like a pro, Lili LeBaron, Asia Travel Consultant for tour operator Scott Dunn, offers a few pointers.

Q: What is the biggest consideration to keep in mind while honeymoon planning?

A: The early bird gets the worm, especially when you travel. It’s crucial you not only secure the accommodations that will make your trip special, but also the best experiences and guides. These factors can make or break a trip, which is why I advise planning ahead.

Q: What should couples keep in mind if honeymooning around a big event?

A: Flexibility is key. Big events often bring crowds, limited hotel availability or lodging and [more unexpected bumps along the way]. While this can disappoint some travelers, it’s an opportunity to venture off the beaten path and discover smaller towns or areas that might not have been on your radar, creating even more unique and memorable experiences.

THE RITZ-CARLTON BACARA

Q: Why hire a professional for the honeymoon or big anniversary trips?

A: We’ve noticed a growing motivation among travelers to visit certain destinations during iconic events. By staying updated on the latest travel trends and developments around the world, we can steer you away from overcrowded tourist spots and suggest alternative destinations that promise unique experiences.

We’re here to ensure a seamless and unforgettable holiday.

GETTY IMAGES

Q: What do you wish more couples would consider while honeymoon planning?

A: Many seek to pack their itineraries to the brim when exploring new parts of the world. While I completely understand the urge, dedicating more time to one place rather than trying to cram in as much as possible ensures a more relaxed experience and enables deeper immersion in the country and its culture. It’s tempting to focus on checking off a list, but what’s truly important is slowing down and savoring the beauty around you.

ROSEWOOD HOTELS & RESORTS

HOSHINOYA KYOTO

The Cherry Blossoms MARCH AND APRIL

Where: Japan and Washington, DC What: A beautiful harbinger of spring, the arrival of pink, white and red cherry blossoms is cause for celebration. The Japanese even have a word for the practice of admiring the flowers: hanami.

In Kyoto, the Philosopher’s Path spans just over a mile along a canal lined with hundreds of cherry trees, and the Botanical Garden is always exploding with blooms.

In the US, the National Cherry Blossom Festival has been held

each spring in Washington, DC, since 1927 and is now a monthlong series of events. The capital boasts more than 3,700 trees, many clustered around the Tidal Basin and National Mall.

Stay: In Japan, a 15-minute boat ride delivers guests to Hoshinoya Kyoto, a riverside ryokan that permits just one couple per day at its private terrace for observing the iconic sakuras. From $880; HoshinoResorts.com/en.

The Rosewood Washington, DC, has a series of luxurious rooms, suites and even townhouses on Georgetown’s C&O Canal. The

The “Super” Blooms MARCH AND APRIL

Please note: Local laws may restrict service availability to all.

Visit the Equality Index (equaldex.com/equality-index) for more information.

Where: California and the Netherlands What: Destinations around the world transform each year with vibrant flowers: lavender fields in Provence during the summer, one million daffodils each spring in London’s Royal Parks. Seeing the tulip farms in Holland and California’s unique desert phenomena known as the superbloom—where poppies, lupines, morning glories and wildflowers carpet valleys—are bucket-list-worthy experiences.

Stay: In California, The Ritz-Carlton Bacara, Santa Barbara overlooks the Pacific and offers complimentary, hour-long naturalist-led hikes on wildflower-lined trails.

From $619; RitzCarlton.com. Guests at The Dylan in Amsterdam can book heli-tours

hotel curates seasonal perks like a complimentary bottle of rosé champagne and a professional photo portrait at a bloom-filled site. From $1,200; Rosewood Hotels.com.

Insider Tip: The team at Inside Japan suggests skipping Kyoto’s main temple compounds in favor of less-crowded sub-temples, like Taizo-in, which have equally impressive gardens.

over the tulip fields ($380 for two people) or private guided driving tours with stops at the Keukenhof gardens, a tulip farm and the iconic windmills of Kinderdijk ($156 for two people). From $620; DylanAmsterdam.com.

When to Book: Six months in advance.

Insider Tip: The second half of April is typically best in both places, but each year is different, depending on the weather, when the flowers first sprout and when farmers decide to cut the fields for the bulbs. The blooms at Keukenhof gardens, about 45 minutes outside Amsterdam, are maintained through the closing date in May, says Matt LaPolice of Mayamaya Travel.

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WISE WORDS

I swear I couldn’t love you more than I do right now, and yet I know I will

tomorrow.

— Leo Christopher

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FRO M AISLE TO ISLE

BEACHES.COM | 1.877.BEACHES OR CALL YOUR TRAVEL ADVISOR